I Feel Love

Harder!

Faster!

Keep that rhythm!

Come up!

If you are thinking naughty thoughts after reading this---get your mind out of the gutter and back in the gym...those are the commands of my favorite spin instructor, Spinderella (not her real name...).

Today I took her class...make that classes...

First class: 45 minutes of spin followed by 15 minutes of ab work

Second class: 30 minutes of spin followed by 30 minutes on the Pilates Reformer

I do the first class...spin my heart out...and then cheat a bit and don't do all of the ab work because I needed to refill my water bottle. It was a poor excuse I know, but I needed water and the search committee still hasn't located my abdominal muscles. I did manage to make the last 5 minutes of the ab work and even managed to hold on to the ball (a weighted ball) as I twisted and turned and did crunches.

Fun Fun Fun

Then immediately on to the next class...back on the bike...30 more minutes of grueling pace and Spinderella telling us what to do as we watch Beyonce dance about on the screen. You see, Spinderella plays videos for us to distract us from the pain of heavy tension climbs on the spin bike.

I survived...barely...

and then on to the Pilates Reformer. I've never taken a Pilates class---mat work or Reformer---so this was a new experience for this fat girl who wants to be slim. I've had friends recommend the classes but haven't been motivated until now---because the class was offered for $5.

I swear the Reformer is a Medieval torture device. Just looking at the thing made me nervous. It has all these springs and levers and pulleys and ropes. Like I said, Medieval Torture Device...except this one is supposed to be GOOD for me...right...

I climb on...and you know what? It was kinda fun...in a torture your body sort of fun way...

Right now my thighs feel like jello...and not just because they are so jiggly...I mean jello as in "so sore they don't work" jello.

Advil and wine is a great combination...

But I do think I will try it again, especially with Spinderella telling me what to do. I have known her for years and used to take spin classes with her when we belonged to the Houstonian so I am really happy she teaches at the Houston Racquet Club now (only one class, but I live for it).

Years ago, 8 to be exact, when I belonged to the Houstonian I used to love Spinderella's class as well as "Hotter than Crap" Gay Guy's (he was beautiful...and his music was the BOMB) class and a wicked and very sick class that was a combination of spin and...evil...

Really it was a spin/weight lifting/training/boot camp/death class...

What amazed me about the wicked class was that people loved it so much that we would show up 30-45 minutes before the start of class to claim a bike and weights. There was only room for about 40 people in the class so you had to get there early or you were out of luck---I cried once when I couldn't find a bike. And 2 instructors who were loads of fun (and hot) and about as gentle as drill instructors. So we would get there early and just sit on our bikes waiting for the 2 meanest guys in the world (did I tell you they were hot?) to show up. Outside of class, these guys were lambs...in that room....lions.

Mean, hungry, scream-in-your-face lions.

Lions that wanted to eat you and would let you know how miserably you were failing...

So class would start and the music would be LOUD---VERY loud classic rock, usually "Back in the Saddle Again" (hahahaha) by Aerosmith---and we would spin our butts off (does that word "butt" offend any of you?). We would spin hard for a few minutes and then the real abuse (and evil) would begin and we would jump off the bikes and do some form of torture like lifting weights...or staying in a plank...or 100 million crunches...or running outside (in the summer)...whatever horrible, evil they could inflict on us, they would....and we would take it...and ask for more...

Usually there was a lot of curses flying about the room---the "f-bomb" was frequently screamed by many participants. The instructors would yell in your face if you weren't working hard enough. They would yell at you intensely...

Once I looked at one of them when he was yelling at me and said, in my best Army grunt voice, "Yes, Drill Sergeant"...he looked at me and then busted out laughing and muttered something like "nevermind..."....rather meekly I might add...

Another favorite activity of the class was to throw ice...from our drink cups...that evolved into throwing water from the cups...which evolved into throwing whole cups, water and all...the room would be drenched...

I hear they discontinued the class...

But it was fun while it lasted!

I've grown up now...I'm more refined...I'll stick with Pilates, spin, the Precor and Fitness Goddess...but at least I still have Spinderella to put on some crazy music and get me going...and I don't throw cups of water at her...

So today Spinderella put on her crazy Irish Spring song (it is an Irish thing that gets faster and faster and more tortuous), a little Jet, some other fun stuff that I have blocked from my mind and this fantastically fun version of "I Feel Love" (that Donna Summer classic) but this version is done by...BLUE MAN GROUP. Fantastic...

So I am sharing it with you (go to iTunes to download...put in Blue Man Group..."I feel love"...pick the "radio mix edit")...because many of you have responded to this blog so positively that I feel love and loved...thank you for supporting me on my journey...for reading this nonsense...and for helping me to stay in the groove...

Ke$ha Barbie has agreed to dine with us tonight...so we are off to dinner and then to climb in my bed to watch the season finale of Glee. I have already downloaded the music...and set not one but 2 DVR's to tape it (just in case)...I'll have my tissues, my glass of wine and my Advil at the ready...I can't wait...

Bye Darlings