Call on Me

I've always secretly harbored an ambition to be a writer...I can fully see myself on Oprah's couch, chatting up with her about my latest book and why the world has changed for the better because of it. But that will never happen because I'm not a writer, but just a silly woman with silly thoughts and the closest I will get to Oprah is my suburban---because my kids call it "Oprah" since it is big and brown (not being racist here...I am far from it...but it is a lovely caramel color...maybe I should rename it "Beyonce"?).

But I've got some friends who seem to think that I need to write and put my stuff out there for someone to read. My friend K (not using names here until I know they are ok with it) has bugged me about this for years...and now my friend V has pushed me to it and even shared another blog with me to give me some inspiration.

I've written a couple of blogs before...but just for my son's lacrosse team parents. They were goofy blogs about lacrosse and how I do not understand the game. I might post them here if I can figure out how to do it...not my best work but it might amuse one or two of you (the one or two who will read this at all).

V wants me to share my "journey" to reclaiming my skinny self. She says it might inspire others...I don't think anyone will ever be inspired by me but maybe another "fluffy" girl will see herself in this and go to the gym. As much as I would love to look like Edyta from "Dancing with the Stars", I know that will never happen---but I can at least get myself to the point where I no longer look like one of the women pictured in a "fat chicks" greeting card and if writing about it can keep me on track, I will do it even if I am the only person who ever reads this (as I proofread what I have written).

K just wants me to write...and she swears she is going to make me do it...even offered me space in her office. I am lucky to have a friend like her...she is a great cheerleader (even if she was a twirler in school and didn't want to shake her pompoms) and she often gets me to do things I don't want to do. V has been a creative force in my life since we were 10 years old at camp together...so her wanting me to do something creative and telling me she thinks I am good at it is an honor. After all, this is a chick who once decided we needed striped tights before heading out to the club and grabbed a magic marker and drew the stripes on our tights (albeit with our legs in the tights so we were striped for a while)...you have to love someone with that kind of inspiration and energy...

so V and K...this is for you...

I've struggled with my weight for all of my adult life. My teen years I didn't have to worry about what I ate because I was always active and had a good, cute figure. Then college came along and I did have to start going to aerobics so I could continue to drink beer and eat Taco Bell taco salads (with the shell) while I watched Dynasty.

Let's re-visit aerobics classes in the 80's shall we?

I spent hours in college and after college sweating to death while bouncing about like a crazy grasshopper to fabulous tunes like "Mickey" and "Rhythm Nation" all while wearing a leotard...with a belt...and amazing shiny tights or bike shorts...and a coordinating sports bra and leg warmer socks. Let's not forget a face full of makeup (because the gay instructor just might turn out to NOT be gay and if he was gay he was always sweet with the compliments telling you how great you looked) and giant earrings. And a high ponytail perched on top of my head so that everyone could see just how hard I was bouncing.

I had forgotten all about what a fashion statement I was and how incredible the workouts were (donkey kicks, really?) until my daughter, Ke$ha Barbie, told me about a great song (let me quickly explain the name "Ke$ha Barbie"...I won't use real names in this blog---and she would be moritified if I publicly put her name out there---so I call her this because she looks like a cross between that pop singer Ke$ha and Barbie---and sadly behaves more like Ke$ha than Barbie in her Dreamhouse). So anyway KB (Ke$ha Barbie) tells me that I need to download a song from her iTunes library (I'm cool like that , I have my own iTunes library and am savvy enough to know how to SHARE the libraries we have...end of my tech abilities).

The song is "Call on Me" by Eric Prydz. I quickly became obsessed with all 7 1/2 minutes of it and its driving beat and sample of "Valerie" by Steve Winwood...in fact that is all it is...Steve Winwood singing "Call on me" over and over with a driving disco beat. But the song is the bomb and it gets me going on the elliptical machine at the gym. I see there is a video for the song...she (KB) asks me if I have seen it...I look it up on You Tube...

OMG...

OMG...

OMG...

You have to watch this video to believe it...it looks like an aerobic class circa 1987 (even though the video was made in 2009)...but never in my best years did I look like the girls in the video...it is almost soft-core porn...men love it...for me it just brought back memories of Body Rock Houston and headbands...

Here is the link...peek if you dare...DON'T read the comments underneath because they are crude...but the video is pretty awesome if you are old enough to remember what group exercise class was before spinning, core classes and pilates took over:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_fCqg92qks

if you can't get it to load, go to You Tube and search "Eric Prydz Call on Me" and look for the picture of the girl's backside...after watching the video go to iTunes and download the song...you will run, cycle, or burn on the elliptical machine like no one's business...and you can pray you might look a little like the girls in the video if you find a genie in a bottle to grant you a wish or two...

So my inner skinny girl woke up from hibernation in early March and she wants her body back. When I started this I was giving serious consideration to applying to "The Biggest Loser" show but couldn't imagine leaving my children for that long...even if it meant I could lose 100 pounds in no time at all. I still look like a Biggest Loser "before" photo but I have dropped enough weight to need smaller shorts and things are looking and fitting better.

I just have a way to go...

a long way to go...

a very long way to go...

but right now the skinny girl is winning the battle with the fat chick...I hope she (the skinny girl) wins...she has better clothes...

I go the gym daily, eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day (healthy food) and as much as I would like Jillian Michaels or Bob Harper yelling at me to keep going, I am going to try and do this myself and not embarrass myself on national television (nothing against the incredible people who do go on the show...they are my inspiration and I am floored by their willingness to do so...but I just can't).

So tomorrow I have my first meeting with my trainer...I found a gal at the gym who I can relate to and who seems a good match for me...I'm going to let her go all fitness nazi on me and help me with my strength training so that I'm not just living on the elliptical machine trying to lose a whole person by next summer.

I've done this before...just not this much weight...and I hope I never have to again...sometime I'll tell you how I got here (fat chick status, not blogging...that you read above). I'll write again tomorrow or the next day to express how thoroughly mortifying and horrible doing squats was for the first time in 6 years...

The last thing I will leave you with is why I named this blog "Shrinking Violet".
I didn't actually name it...V suggested it as a good blog name and I gave it some thought and decided it was perfect. I am, in fact, shrinking... and purple is my favorite color (all shades of purple)...but I decided that there was really more to the name when I googled "shrinking violet" and saw this (courtesy of thefreedictionary.com):

shrink•ing violet (shr ng k ng)
n. Informal
A shy or retiring person.

anyone who knows me knows I am the OPPOSITE...I am anything but shy or retiring! So I like the play on words (about my weight) and my favorite color but I mostly enjoy that since I am more of a SHRIEKING Violet that for once I can be described as...shy...

because, borrowing a line from my favorite tv show "Glee"---

I am Tinkerbell, I need applause to live!

so there you have it...

Bye darlings...