Sunday, September 25, 2011

All That's Known

I know one thing for sure...I have ignored this blog...

My children are back in the full swing of school. They are learning new things every day.

I hope they never stop learning...because I know I learn new things every day myself.

Sometimes the things I learn are really important...like:

no matter how long she is gone, I will miss my mother daily

that missing watching your son score a touchdown can make you cry...even if he says "it's ok Mom" and you missed it because you were helping his sister with something important

that senior year is hard on your child...and you...because you know she is leaving...

that boys are so much easier than girls when it comes to getting dressed for dances

that it is waaaaay to easy to shop on Amazon...just click and it's yours...too easy...

that being "there" for a friend feels good...



Some lessons I am learning have to do with me NOW...like:

I don't mind getting into my bed and it's just me...I don't mind being alone there...

If I eat one cookie, I will eat two...

Cheese is kryptonite to me...so is wine...I have a lot of kryptonite

that if I don't work out, I feel "ick"...and like a slug

that spin class is much more fun than working out on a machine

that Dimples is doing his best to make me move...even when my knees don't want to

that I may never be a size 6...but I am pretty happy at an 8

I miss Oprah...I really do...


Some lessons I am learning are "practical" ones...in the past week I have learned:

that if you put bananas in a paper bag with an apple or two they will ripen up quickly

that pulling my hair back into a headband and clipping it is stressing my hair and making it break off

Nordstrom is kryptonite to me...I need to stay out of there

watching my son play football is not as horrifying as I always thought it would be...sometimes he flat out amazes me...

banana bread is easy to make...recipe on bottom of blog...bad for you...

my chicken spaghetti is worth the 1000 calories per serving that it is...but you can't eat much of it...no, not sharing that recipe today...I will not contribute to your downfall...



And then I have learned some fun and funny lessons...

wielding a glue gun while tanked up on wine makes you put rhinestones all over your Halloween costume...and it ends up as a hot mess and not hotness...mine looks like a 4th grade art project...

a corset can give you a really shapely figure...but hell to the no I'm not wearing one except for Halloween...that is when you have permission to dress like a sleaze...

dirty martinis are safe to drink...White Russians...notsomuch...

don't sunbathe topeless unless you know the pool boy will NOT be there...

if you hit a big huge cockroach with your shoe and he is above you he will fall on you...


Well, you get the picture...whether is is learning how to use a function on my computer or that wine and a glue gun don't mix, I do learn things every day. And I hope to keep learning. I'm learning things about myself, about my children, about life...

So today I learned to make banana bread. I am NOT a baker...but AngelAmy made some incredible banana bread the other night and the kids were begging for more so she gave me the recipe...since it is in a cookbook I don't think she will mind me sharing it with you...I hope mine turns out as good as hers because hers was amazing....

So here you go....


Best Damn Banana Bread Ever

2 sticks Fleishman's margarine (AngelAmy insists on it)
2 cups sugar
6 very ripe bananas (see my lesson above on how to ripe)
4 eggs
2 1/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla
pecans...optional....

Cream together the sugar and margarine.

Mash bananas and add to creamed margarine/sugar mixture. Once incorporated, add the eggs one at a time.

In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to banana mixture. Mix well. Add in vanilla. Add pecans if you wish...or walnuts...

Pour into 2 greased and floured loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees or until done.

Voila...you have the best damn banana bread ever...

Inspiration Song: "All That's Known"...from the Spring Awakening Cast Album...sung by the amazing Jonathan Groff (who was on Glee)...one of the best musicals I have ever seen...incredible music...incredible voices...Lea Michelle (also of Glee) is on the album too...

Bye Darlings....learn something new today...and share it with me...I need to keep learning...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Irresistible Force

Another paradox for you...

What happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object?

Sometimes I feel like I am both sides of that paradox...

Dimples will often tell you that I am an unmovable object...heck we argued our way through our last workout because I kept saying "no" to him...and I am usually so compliant...

but that day I was not moving....much...

he wanted me to do this lifting machine thing...I did it but complained my way through it.

I think he often feels like I have been put on this earth to put him through hell.

ha!

I am a very stubborn woman.

Hence...the immovable object.

If I don't wanna do it...I don't....most of the time.

I remember times that I was sent to my room as punishment when I was a child. My father would come to my room to "release" me...but I would stubbornly stay in there just to make sure he didn't get the satisfaction of me gaining my freedom because of him. I left when I was good and ready and it was MY idea to leave my room.

Sometimes that was one hour or more...sometimes it was one minute.

He used to call me "mule"...for good reason.

I may be blonde...but I am a hard-headed blonde.

I think my father must have thought I was put on earth to give him hell.

Ke$ha Barbie is a lot like me....we both fight to have the last word in an argument. It's often not very pretty. No one wins...we just end up frustrating each other.

So these days I try to be the grownup and I let her have the last word because I know she won't stop until she does...

But under my breath I say what I want...and I get the last word in my head.

I'm sure she thinks I was put on this earth to give her hell...what teenage girl doesn't?

And yes, there are times I think God gave her to me on this earth to give me hell...because she does...

I'm sure my ex feels the same...about me...because I would often do things to push his buttons just because I wasn't going to give in...

hence...a divorce...

I'm sure any man who decides he is brave enough to take up with me will get the same treatment and refer to me as "Valdemort" or "the witch I am dating"...both will apply...

I DO have witch powers you know...just ask the coaches at school...and GOTT...

Now as to the unstoppable force part of the paradox...

Well, if you are my friend or a reader of this blog you know that when I put my mind to something I pretty much do it.

You don't lose 138 pounds in 15 months (without drugs or surgery) without being pretty determined.

When I see something I want I pretty much go after it.

Be it my desire to lose weight, an object on eBay, or the new dress I ordered from Macy's that is from the new collection Karl Lagerfeld did for them (have you seen those clothes? OMG!)

But I'm not just an unstoppable object...I have many irresistible forces in my life:

shoes

Michael Kors shoes

cheese

wine (mostly red...and if it is "Rapture" then make it 2...)

my children's smiles

makeup

Sephora

pink or red lipstick

glitter

sequins

wine

wine

wine

cheese

a very rare filet

coaches (I am always taking care of coaches...)

GOTT

children on stage

Stoli Vodka

wine

wine

wine

dark chocolate

shoes

cheese

a kid calling saying "Mama D can you help me?"

my children

wine

Stoli Vodka

my children

wine

cheese

shoes

my children

yea...that is pretty much my list of "Kryptonite to Anice"...there are a few more things but I think I will keep them private...for now...

You all know I love me some shoes...especially Michael Kors heels...that's a given...never met a pair I didn't like...

As for the wine...well, that is pretty well documented as well. Right now my obsession is "Rapture" by Michael David...too divine for words...I bought a case...not kidding...

And cheese...truly an irresistible force for me. The other night at "Meet the Coaches" night there was a cheese tray. I resisted it until Coach...oh, let's call him "Coach Smiles" cause he has a nice smile and makes me laugh...I was good until Coach Smiles says "try this one"...well, my friend who was standing nearby said "Uh Oh" and it was all over...yes, my hand reached out and once that smoked gouda hit my mouth...Uh Oh...

I ate so much cheese that night it was basically my dinner.

The rest of the list is pretty self-explanatory.

And my children...well, they are the most irresistible force of all...

By the way, irresistible is a very hard word to type....just sayin'

But I look at it this way...a little of something bad for you isn't always bad. After all, that is how the theory of allergy shots works...So I just keep my kryptonite to small doses...

But when cheese meets stubborn woman...Dimmples has hell on earth!!!!!

Inspiration Song: "Irresistible Force" by Jane's Addiction...very cool song...watch for it cropping up on all kinds of tv commercials...

Bye Darlings...give in to your kryptonite...your irresistible force...sometimes you just have to. I've given into mine...I just make sure I don't take in too much of the kryptonite...or I really will be an immovable object!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Everlasting Light

Every once in a while my children do something that truly surprises me...

I mean, I pretty much know what to expect from them: Ke$ha Barbie is going to try my patience, push my buttons, argue with me like a $500/hour lawyer, and often leave me convinced that I am an idiot. I know this because I am pretty damn sure I did the same thing to my dear mother.

And my son...I know what to expect from The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW): he will be sweet, kind, avoid conflict, get his feelings hurt pretty easily, and is pretty level headed. Oh, and he likes to hit things...a lot...

So on Monday when Ke$ha Barbie came downstairs and produced her 8th grade tie for me to see, well, I was flabbergasted.

Because you see, I told her a little over 3 years ago to keep that tie for her brother so that she could present him with it at HIS 8th grade tie ceremony.

(A little explanation here...at my children's school, which is a K-8, the children wear a "dress uniform" on Mondays which consists of pants (or skirt for girls), oxford shirt, and a tie...and a jacket for middle school. The children all wear the same striped tie EXCEPT for the 8th graders who get to wear a special tie...so they have a ceremony where they receive their special ties...and if you have a family member who went to the school that family member presents the tie to you...otherwise it is the headmaster)

I mean, that tie survived 2 floods, a hurricane, a remodel, and the disaster that we all lovingly call her bedroom but I really think it should be declared a toxic waste dump.

She rarely leaves me speechless...in a good way that is...and this time I was.

I just looked at her, started to cry, and told her I loved her...and I loved her for doing that for her brother.

So we go to school and bless her heart she has an AP Biology test 3rd period and if that ceremony lasts very long she is going to not get back to high school in time to take it and be in some trouble...but the ceremony got underway and I cried as I watched my son walk up to the stage as an 8th grader. When Ke$ha Barbie started at that school in pre-school I was barely pregnant with TCBITW and I spent most of my time in the carpool line trying not to vomit from morning sickness. Very often the teacher would open the car door to get Ke$ha Barbie out and I would hold up my hand (in the international sign of "please don't talk to me") because I feared I was going to upchuck whatever I had managed to force down myself for breakfast. So I have been driving to that school for 14 years now...

When it was time for TCBITW to receive his tie Ke$ha Barbie climbed up the steps to the stage, showed the headmaster she had her own tie, and she proudly put it on his neck. And he beamed at his sister as she did it...a quick hug and she was gone...to take that AP Bio test...

I can honestly say it was one of the proudest moments of my life...because it was their moment. It was not mine...I just watched it...but they had that very special moment where she got to show him how much she loved and cared about him even if all she did was put a tie around his neck...

But it was magic....

Because....

she saved that tie through all of the flooding, remodeling, and a damn hurricane...
and they used to fight like cats and dogs and now they get along beautifully...
and they both were lovely lights up there, at least to me...
and she took time to do something that meant so much to her brother...
and he got his tie from the one person in the world he loves without prejudice or judgement..
and it is a moment that they will never forget...even if they don't know that yet...

My children often make me very proud, but on Monday they made my heart burst.

They light up my world...

They are my everlasting lights...

Inspiration Song: "Everlasting Light" by the Black Keys

Bye Darlings...love whatever lights up your world...