Monday, December 22, 2014

Where Are You Christmas?

Hello Darlings!

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! 

My Christmas spirit is or was in full swing until recently...make that tonight...

The tree is up and decorated, I have little touches of décor here and there...

the stockings are hung by the chimney with care...

(oh no I am starting to sound like Dr. Seuss again with the rhyming...totally unintentional..)

I can't seem to find my desire to wrap gifts and one of these days those darn "wrap the packages" elves are going to show up here to Casa Bonita and wrap the gifts while I am sleeping...

I was even getting ready to write a blog called "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" (yes, it is a REAL song...I actually thought it was something that Craig Ferguson and the Late Late Show made up for Betty White but lo and behold it appeared on a list of Christmas on iTunes so it is a real song...who knew?)

But that will have to wait...

Because I need to vent...

a lot

like a lot a lot...

Two things to know before you read this and think "WOW she is under the influence"...

1) I have had exactly 2 ounces of wine...no more...and now am imbibing the powerful drug "Aand W 10 Root Beer" (diet and caffeine free root beer) and the wine is put well out of reach so I can't say I was drunk...

2) I had a proper amount of sleep last night, ate healthy meals, and did my spin class (so I don't stab people)...in other words I am well-rested, not "hangry" and got the endorphins going ("Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.  Happy people don't just shoot their husbands...they just don't." Thank you Elle Woods and the knowledge gleaned from "Legally Blonde" one of my very favorite movies...)

So in other words I am of sound mind and not under the influence of anything other than a wicked spin session and a lot of sweat...

which I showered off...

so I am a clean, well-rested, well-fed endorphin fueled person...

But like I said...

I need to vent

and this blog is my therapy and once again you are along for the ride and I have no idea where this is going but I do know it will keep me from stabbing someone...

you poor people...

you have had to read a lot of therapy lately...

So why all the drama?

Because today I got fed up with the ex letting his GIRFRIEND'S schedule decide ours...

yup

I have been asking him for weeks to talk to me about Christmas and who gets the kids at what time...but he kept putting me off

Christmas Eve is the DAY AFTER TOMORROW

I got a little tired of not being able to know when I was feeding people...

Here's the deal...I will try and put this "background info" into one paragraph:

My parents were divorced and I hated like hell being shuttled about and since they lived in two different places it was an ordeal...it involved planes or hours upon hours in the car.  I didn't want my kids to suffer feeling like they were in the middle of a tug-of-war so the ex and I agreed to just "share Christmas and make plans based on what is best for them and what is going on at that time".  In other words we did not put into our divorce decree "the children shall be with their mother from 2:00 pm Christmas Eve until 11:00 am Christmas day blah blah blah blah blah...lots of legal jargon and more money to the attorneys so they could hash it out...".  We were good with that.

Up until this year we have kept it free and easy and because I am the world's nicest ex-wife I have always cooked a big meal like we always had and have invited the ex to join us.  And every year he has. 

I did invite him this year...for the kids...not because I particularly wanted the man I divorced sitting at my dining room table at holiday time.

More background:

I ASKED FOR THE DIVORCE. 

I hadn't been in love with him for years. 

I never have wavered on my decision to divorce and never ever wanted him back.

I have never looked at him and thought "maybe we should try again" or "wow I gave that up"...

he's a nice man but I don't want him

I am NOT IN THE LEAST BIT JEALOUS of his girlfriend.  She can have him.  I am grateful for her presence in his life because she keeps him occupied and I get more of The Cutest Boy in the World.  I like it that he seems less concerned with me and my doings because he is occupied...

I am a bit jealous that he has someone and I am alone but that has no part in my feelings about this...that is just a "I'm a better catch so why am I alone" feeling...because it would be nice to have someone to drink eggnog with and look at Christmas lights with while we drive through the neighborhood in his big ass truck...

But some day that big-ass truck driving man will come along...I'm so not worried about that right now...there is time for that down the line...I have a boy to raise...and spin classes to sweat in...and Pippin costumes to make and cats to cuddle...

So for weeks now I have said to him "we need to discuss Christmas" and for weeks now he has changed the subject or said "I don't know my plans yet".

In the past the kids have gone to lunch with him on Christmas Eve and have returned Christmas Eve evening to have our traditional tamales for dinner.  Sometimes the ex has even stayed for that.

I usually have the kids Christmas morning and then their dad shows up early afternoon and we have a nice dinner and usually they go off with him or sometimes Kesha Barbie stays with me and TCBITW goes with his dad and they go to the ranch.

That is what has happened these last 3 Christmases...

But I have always asked their dad what he wants and how he wants to do it to be fair...and he knows Christmas Eve tamales are a biiiiig deal with me and that is one I won't back down on...

So I figured it would be the same this year...

but I couldn't pin him down...

and so tonight I told him "I will not let my schedule be dictated by a third party.  I am feeding the kids their Christmas dinner on Christmas at some point.  Please tell me when that will be"

his answer: "I dunno"

So I said: "fine...I am feeding my kids prime rib at 2.  You are welcome to join us"

he said "well....I'm not sure..."

I cut him off and said "that is when we are eating...if you want them that morning before then I will send them to you after tamales"...

him: "well...."

Me: "just tell me tomorrow when you want them other than Christmas Eve dinner and 2:00 on Christmas day for their meal...if you MUST have them earlier and for lunch Christmas Day then do so and I will have dinner at 8:00 for us but for the love of God please just decide and let me know tomorrow..."

him: "ummmm...."

me: "my kids and I will have our meals...no third party is deciding that..." and then I said goodnight.

The kids have met the girlfriend.

I have no idea how serious things are but so far all I know is that they have met her.  They say she is nice...

Glad to hear it..no seriously I am GLAD to hear it...I want nice people around my kids...

But until they are married I will not consider HER timing into when I plan to be with my kids.

It is HIS choice to hang with her...but my children should not be asked to spend holiday time with a woman they have met exactly once.

If they are going to be with a woman...

THAT WOMAN WILL BE ME

When they have a step-mother I will agree to share time based on all 3 of our schedules...because family time is important and if my children have step-siblings I am a big believer in being a WHOLE family...you know...all that Brady bunch stuff...

I will totally work with that...

because who knows...someday I may be a step-mother and I don't want the Cinderella Wicked Step-mother karma to come and bite me in the ass...

marriage is one thing...

dating is another...

and right now until the kids have spent a good deal more time with her and her family and she and the ex are indeed in a relationship that will lead to something permanent...

well then by golly I won't let HER visitation schedule affect MINE...

and right now that is where I am...the kids' dad won't help me plan because he isn't sure what is going on with her...

My kids aren't going to be bartered...they have a right to enjoy their holiday with both parents...

and I don't want trouble or bad feelings...

and I don't have bad feelings...

just frustration because the man won't make a decision

oh yeah---that was reason #12 why I divorced him...one of 1, 234, 467...."he is bad at making decisions"...

My children and I have ADD...we need things to be structured and laid out so we can function...I can be flexible and I can be very spontaneous...but for things like this I need to plan and know what is happening when...holidays and vacations must be that way...

he also was a grinch about the holidays and never really participated...no helping decorate and almost no shopping...

so I always made plans for us and we just rolled with it...

and that is what I have done this year...

I still want to give him choices and work around him...but I am not doing so being told at the last minute...I'm not waiting until Christmas Eve to decide what we are doing...I need more structure than that.

I don't want the holidays to stress my kids like it did me...I want it to be a joyous time for us...and I want them to spend time with their dad as well as me...

My kids are my life...they are my world...they are the reason I get up every morning...they are my oxygen...they are my purpose in life...

they are my everything...

I am a giving person...

I share...

I always have....

I am a big believer that they need parents who get along well and don't use them as weapons...

I will do everything in my power to make sure they never feel like a pawn in some game with me and their dad...

He is as important to them as I am

But they need structure and I need structure...it's an ADD thing...

and I need to know when I am pulling the prime rib out of the damn fridge....

I'm not asking for more time than he has...I am not asking for it to all be what I want...

I just need to know WHEN THE HELL THEY ARE WITH ME

Oh...and did I mention that he had the gall to ask me for half of my nice Christmas ornaments?  The ones he made fun of when I purchased them...the ones that are gifts from friends...the ones I put up on the tree and removed myself...the ones he never touched or looked at...the ones I searched for and thoughtfully purchased on each vacation and carefully packed so they wouldn't break...so that I could remember each trip when I put them on the tree..

really?

um...

NO

3 years ago I gave him a set of ornaments that were ones I had purchased for the kids to "give" him or where ones from his boss...but that was it...the rest I shopped for or were given to me...

ok now I am really ranting...but I had to get that off my chest too...

Please know I am being as nice as I can about this...I haven't raised my voice to him or said anything bitchier than "I won't let my schedule be dictated by a third party".

I am still willing to give him choices in the timing...I do not ever want to have to make a formal agreement about this...our kids are pretty much adults (Kesha Barbie is 21 and TCBITW is almost 17) so nothing formal is needed...

but I just needed to know I wasn't crazy for asking for a schedule since it now we are just a day from Christmas Eve...

I needed to vent

I needed to rant

I needed time for the wrapping elves to show up (they didn't)

(and i love the irony of the fact that he won't figure out his timing but has spent the last hour comparing our children's PSAT scores and figuring out what the 5 questions our son missed were...priorities...)

ok...thanks for listening...

we now return you to your regularly scheduled Christmas joy and maybe tomorrow I will blog about why I want a hippo for Christmas (not really...please...no hippos...3 cats makes me a crazy cat lady...heaven knows what a hippo would make me...)

Inspiration Song: "Where Are You Christmas" from the film "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"...the Jim Carrey one...the one where little Cindy Lou Who played by Taylor Momsen sings the song...and that little girl grew up to have a kind of gnarly rock band...who knew?

Bye Darlings...I know where my Christmas is because I took a stand...and I want my kids to have their time with their dad too...but kids need structure and so do I...it's not just because of our ADD...it's because they are children and not pawns...no one is using them as pawns here but that is what I am trying to make sure never happens...so learn from me...be kind but set structure...











Sunday, December 7, 2014

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Hi Darling!

So Thanksgiving is so over and done...

Are you joining me in my Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution?

I'm trying my best to keep to it...I actually am doing better with it than if it was a New Year's Resolution...

I'm bound and determined not to regret the holidays this year...well not the holidays but every single morsel I put into my mouth and the laziness that follows...

So far no egg nog has entered Casa Bonita...

yet...

But also so far there is no décor in Casa Bonita...

that is because all my decorations are locked in storage at the movers...I'm hoping that by tomorrow they will have located all the stuff that is in the vault (a huge wooden box they keep it in) and will call me to tell me to come and get it...

The only decorations I have with me right now are two small pre-lit trees that are on either side of my fireplace...and for some reason Dragon is terrified of them---but only when they are turned on...

I want to have a whole "Griswold Light Show" outside but thus far I have been unable to locate C-9 lights anywhere...I have the clips, I have had the yard man cut back the bushes...I even have someone who will put them up for me...

but no lights

I think I am going to have to order some online...maybe I can get them up by December 24...

Decorating for Christmas has always been an ordeal for me...

when I was first married I didn't realize I had married the Grinch...the ex never ever wanted to help me with decorating...he could have cared less about it all

so he didn't help at all...

it was like pulling teeth to get him to even carry a tree in...I think he helped pick one out...

once...

After years of suffering sinus infections and feeling awful during the holidays I discovered that I am allergic to Christmas trees...between the pollen and the microscopic mold that grows on them my allergies kick in to high gear and I am sick from the day the tree comes in until it dies...

My allergist told me to "wash" the tree...

yes...

wash the tree...

I tried it once and it was a colossal pain in the you-know-what...

And after years of having no help with the live tree and getting the ex to help me get the tree out (and no not even once did he ever put an ornament on or take one off) I gave up and decided I needed a faux tree if I was going to survive...and not have a dead tree in the living room for the month of January...

Had I known I was marrying someone who would never ever help me with decorating for Christmas I might have saved myself a lot of aggravation...

The problem wasn't just that he wouldn't help...

it was that I kept expecting him to change and decide one year that he would help....

So it really wasn't his fault...he was as he was and he wasn't changing...

I was just frustrated that he wasn't changing...and I was wrong to expect it..

(so let's just add "wants to help decorate for Christmas" to my "this is what I want in a man" list along with dimples, blue eyes, looks a bit like Steve McQueen and drives a truck...yeah, that'll do...)

My ex-husband's mother had atrocious taste...like it was so bad you almost thought she was being ironic with it...so his memories of Christmas décor are all tied up in aluminum trees and ornaments that were so awful that they weren't even fun in a "these are so ugly they are cool" way...

it was just bad

like "are we being punked" bad...

and his cousin, who I totally love and adore, is one of those women you might find on a tv show about crazy Christmas décor because literally every room in her house (and garage) has a tree in it and there is a theme to every room...and snow village houses in every room...and the most amazing humongous snow village set-up in the garage.

It is jaw-dropping

When she and her girlfriend were building the house they put in extra plugs for the Christmas décor and built a storage room for it all.

They even have a village in their bathroom...they cover the tub with plywood and put a village in there...and a gorgeous Victorian themed tree in their bedroom

not kidding

it's awesome...and I miss going to their house at Christmas and admiring it all...

I came from a family that had every room perfectly decorated (I think my mom had decorators help when I was young) and it was all perfectly coordinated and gorgeous...and the whole house always had lights on outside...perfectly outlining the roof...

my mother often hosted Holiday teas when I was young and so the house was perfectly done...

my mom had fairly flawless taste and she made a lot of wreaths and could get her entire house decorated in a matter of hours...

One year she moved into a new house in early-mid December and discovered her tree wouldn't fit and had accidently stored some of her décor

so she went out and bought a new tree and had the house completely ready for Christmas 3 days after moving in

not kidding...

So when I became an adult and got married and had my own house I wanted to be like my mom...

I wanted lights on the outside...and because I am afraid of heights I knew I would never get them on the roof...and the ex was having nothing to do with it nor would he let me pay someone to do it.

So I found lights I could put into stakes and line the driveway...

except we didn't have power out there at the time...

sigh...

I continued to decorate for my own pleasure and then when the kids came I decorated to add to their joy of the holiday...

and for a few years I got some help out of the kids but for the most part they would stick on a few ornaments and get quickly bored.

A couple of years ago The Cutest Boy in the World had a darling little girlfriend.  She was adorable and she was Jewish.

She had never decorated a Christmas tree...

So with her parent's blessing she, and her sweet mama, came over and she and her mom helped me put some ornaments on the tree.

She had a great time and it was fun sharing a tradition with someone who had not experienced it before....and when my son broke up with her I think I was as heartbroken as she was...

When my mother passed away all the joy of the holidays left me...

I couldn't face decorating at all...and putting out the decorations I had gotten from her was more than I could bear...

So we went to Disneyworld and enjoyed their décor...

This went on for a couple of years...the only décor I put out was the stockings...that was it...

Weirdly the kids didn't care and the ex was relieved I wasn't whining about him not helping me...

and he was overjoyed that the 400 (ok not 400 but it seemed like it) little lit porcelain houses were not having to be on display and me spending all my time setting up perfect Snow Villages...

But once we split up I decided that I was going to find my joy again and since I had always done it alone I could handle it myself...

So I bought a new tree and decorated to my hearts content...

and the year I had my surgery the day after Xmas my housekeeper gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another...

SHE PUT AWAY ALL MY CHRISTMAS STUFF FOR ME

yes, I wept with joy at that one...

I have great memories of holiday decorating during my childhood.

It was always a big deal when we got to drive to Corpus Christi and go pick out a huge tree for the house.  My dad almost never came with us because he loved waiting in the driveway to "receive" the tree and tell us what a great job we did picking it out...

he was only unhappy with our choice one year because we desperately wanted a flocked tree and he hated them...

I think I remember my mom going back for a green one...

My dad loved decorating the tree...

and each and every year he would break at least one ornament

My mom had purchased some ornaments back in the 60's that were apparently outrageously expensive (in my father's eyes) and quite delicate...

mind you these were not Radko's...and as I recall there were about 2 dozen of them and they were hideous (or at least I remember them as hideous but at the time they may have been pretty)

They were class oblong shaped with gold tinsel twisted inside of them

and every single year my dad dropped one and it would break

every.single.year.

I think he did it on purpose

When my parents divorced and we moved to Houston my mom didn't put out some of the ornaments like that for many years...I think it made her sad...

But when I came home from college one year I found a box of ornaments we hadn't touched in years and brought it out....

we had a great time reminiscing about the ornaments in the box and we put them on the tree...including the one surviving ornament of the ones my dad broke...

the year he died (1984) we were heartbroken to open the box and find some of the ornaments were broken

and smashed, in the bottom of the box, was the last of the gold tinsel ornaments he hated so much

I think Daddy had the last laugh

I burst into tears and then started to laugh so much I think I actually pee'd myself...

it was like a sweet little message from him letting us know he was still with us...

and he still hated those ornaments...

I don't have but one ornament that I put on the tree left over from my childhood...

it is a "sputnik"

(and for those of you too young to understand it is an ornament that is basically a small center ball with beaded pins sticking out from it...so it looked like the Russian space satellite)

I made it along with my friends Merry Mary Lee and Joyful Janet...Joyful Janet's mom helped us make them and we had such fun doing them

And I hope Merry Mary Lee and Joyful Janet still have theirs...because I always think of them when I see mine...

I used to do a tree entirely done with purple ornaments (because it is my favorite color)...it was obnoxious...

it was in my living room and it looked like drag queens and showgirls had a brawl and the tree was the result of that fight...

it sparkled

My tree in my den was always ornaments I had collected on our travels and gifts from friends...

this year I am going to combine the drag queen purple with the Radko and travel explosion and see how it turns out...

if the movers can locate my stuff...

It's fun having a new place to decorate...and Dragon is more than ready to climb all over the greenery and décor...

It needs to look a little more like Christmas here in Casa Bonita...I want to remember the joy I had with my parents and even though they aren't here to celebrate the holidays with me I have the memories of those times from my past and I know that they are sending me their love from heaven

and I just now purchased 4 vintage ornaments on eBay...they aren't EXACTLY like the ones my Daddy broke but they are as close to them as possible...

because I don't want it to just look like Christmas here...I want it to look like my childhood too so I can have my Mom and Daddy with me this year and always....

Inspiration Song: "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" written by Meredith Wilson (yes I found a way to sneak musical theater in---he wrote "The Music Man").  Various artists have recorded it and my favorites are Bing Crosby, Perry Como and Michael Buble's versions...because I am hoping that by writing this I will be inspired to get my decorating done ASAP...

Bye Darlings...is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas at your house?  It's snuck up on me this year and before we know it, it will be here...and so will Hanukkah...so may this season bring you blessings and the delights of childhood...and only one broken ornament or two...



Monday, December 1, 2014

Revolution

Hello Darlings...

So you all know (because I endlessly blog of my love for it) that I spin at a place called Revolution Studios and that I love it, the instructors, the team there and the classes so very much...

So I was inspired by what I am getting at Rev to write this particular blog to inspire you...

I had a little thought on the bike the other day when I was taking the Post-Turkey Day class...and we were all working hard to work off our pie...which was not pie in my case but wine...

and before I get into just what my epiphany on the bike was I have to whine a bit about why I needed wine...

I had a little bit...ok maybe close to a bottle...that day thanks to the ex.

Being  the world's nicest ex-wife I had invited him over for Thanksgiving Dinner...not because I wanted him there but because I did not want my son to have to make a choice about where he had his turkey...

but my son didn't want turkey so we had prime rib...

so I didn't want him to have to choose where he had his...prime rib...

I got home from spin (had to pay it forward for the meal I was going to indulge in and Marvelous Mel was just the ticket for that) and started to work on the late lunch we had planned and I opened up an excellent bottle of Orin Swift Abstract...

yummy...

and here I am with this giant Fred Flinstone sized prime rib and I am getting the Yorkshire pudding together and I get a text...

from the ex

because he got a better offer....

woooooooo hoooooooo

I poured myself a second glass of wine...

not because I was mad...

oh hell no...I was dancing around the kitchen...

I think I did the running man and maybe even a cabbage patch or two...

and yes "The Carlton" definitely happened...

so once I was done dancing in the kitchen (which by the way is a great disco and has a crystal chandelier over the kitchen island...but sadly not a mirror ball) I got back to cooking and was a happy girl the rest of the day...

my ex is a nice man...I just was happy I had my son all to myself and more leftovers...

So on Friday when I was at spin class and we were all working off the damage from the day before I was reminded of how the holidays tend to kill us all...because Jen the Awesome was literally killing me and I was regretting my choices from the day before...

So I am there spinning and sweating and regretting the Yorkshire pudding I made and ate and I thought about what was ahead of us all during the holidays:

parties...

"gifts" of food...like the annual popcorn bucket someone sends you or the cookies from the neighbor

wine
wine
wine (or is that just me?)

holiday cooking

more parties

more holiday crap

CANDY and sweets we feel we should have because it is the Holidays...

you know what I am talking about....

And on January 2 we wake up (because we are too hung over on January 1 to think like this) and say:

I AM GOING ON A DIET AND I AM GOING TO IMPROVE MY FITNESS AND LIKE RUN A MARATHON OR SOMETHING THIS YEAR...I'M TOTALLY GOING IRONMAN THIS YEAR...AND THERE WILL BE YOGA....YES I WILL TAKE UP YOGA...AND PILATES...WHATEVER THE HELL PILATES IS...AND I'M GOING TO LOSE 10 LBS IN A WEEK AND BE TOTALLY LEAN AND FITTER THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS 20 AND I WILL ROCK A BIKINI THIS YEAR AND I AM ONLY GOING TO EAT HEALTHY GOOD FOOD...LIKE FROM WHOLE FOODS...JUST ORGANIC AND PERFECT STUFF...YES YES I WILL EAT LIKE THAT AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE WHATABURGER BUT THERE WILL BE PILATES...WHATEVER THE HELL PILATES IS...

yes, that is the resolution we all make...

been there done that like...well I am 50 so you do the math and deduct the years I didn't know what a resolution was...because we all know I can't do math...

and we all break it by...

January 3

So I had this little revolution about resolutions...

what if...

and bear with me here....

and don't send hate mail

and don't ask my daughter to sign my commitment papers (because she is now 21) because I have gone off the deep end...

but...

instead of throwing in the towel during the holiday...

what if:

we tried and PREVENT that holiday crash and burn and found ourselves giving a little more to our fitness and a little less to trips to the buffet

what if we paid it forward?

what if we made the resolution not a New Year's Resolution but a....

THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION

in thanksgiving for the fact we are alive and healthy and do not need to slack off and just eat sand tarts and drink cocoa...

ok so go ahead and eat sand tarts and drink cocoa but maybe throw in an extra Crossfit class or two...

I'm going to try something new...try adding something to the mix to keep me going...

I'm trying yoga

ok stop laughing all of those who know me and know that I am sooooo not that quiet girl that can fold herself into a downward dog

whatever downward dog is...

and yes I still hear you laughing people...

go ahead because I am too...

but my friend Amazing Anna has this company that basically does this sort of a pop up yoga happening and I am going to try it and my friend MagicMike has promised he will be next to me to keep me going (or at least laughing)...he's MagicMike for a reason...

she's says there will be wine afterwards...

ok that right there is enough to make me go...

and apparently there is a DJ...and you know me and some good music...

I wonder if he plays Katy Perry?  Can you do yoga poses to "This is How We Do"?

probably not...but I bet there is no Enya either...

This is like party yoga and not scary yoga...

I can do that!

(and if you want to join me in this little adventure go to the Facebook page "We Play Everywhere" and "like" it...that way you will see when events are...)

I'm trying to expose myself to new things but I have to bear in mind that although my body is only 50 my knees act like they are 70...so I won't be doing any crossfit anytime soon and kickboxing is completely out of the question even though MarvelousMargaret would love me to join her in kicking and hurting people...she's a nice lady but she really really likes to kick and hurt people and do dangerous things...

And as for Zumba...I might dance in my kitchen but I'm keeping my boogying to the bike (I can twerk with the best of them when the lights are off) but there are too many turns and moves for my poor old knees...

And Rev has added a Friday Night Lights class with my sweet MagicMike as DJ/Spin tormentor and I plan to take in a few of those...might just do a double duty with Jen the Awesome in the morning and go back and hit it again with MagicMike at night...I don't have any Friday night dates so I might as well clip in and rock out...and at least I KNOW I will be doing something fun if I do that...

I also met Jason Wimberly (celebrity trainer and brand ambassador for Rev)  and I am totally in love with him and his high energy workouts.  I call him my Glitter Man.  He has DVD's for sale on his website (warning: his abs might make you want to shoot yourself) so if you are one of those people who don't have time to get someplace for a workout, order one...

http://wimberlean.com/

And if you already belong to a gym why not use this Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution time to check out something new...challenge yourself to try a group exercise class or try a class with a different instructor...

But I totally urge all of  you to give any and all of these activities a try...

who knows you might discover an activity you really love...

The problem is...

and maybe this is just me...

so many of us start the holiday season off with this giant meal full of delicious fattening food...and then we go into a food coma...and then we spend the rest of the weekend eating leftovers and remaining in a food coma...

and then all the holiday parties start and we just keep going...

it all becomes a big "what the hell!"...

and weekend workouts get dropped in favor of sleeping in because of the party the night before (but Rev at Memorial City has a 10:30 class for us sleepyheads...)...

I know all of this because it is exactly what happens to me every year...and then I want to shoot myself on January 2...

So this year I have resolved that I will not gain any holiday weight but will in fact lose a pound or two (trying to be reasonable here) and keep myself fit...all while indulging in a sandtart or two but not the whole box...

If you want to hold yourself accountable there are Apps out there that will do that for you...
I joined an App called "Pact"...each week you pledge to do a certain number of workouts...if you make your "pact" (do all of your workouts) you get paid...not big bucks...but a few bucks...but if you don't you get CHARGED...you decide how much you will get charged and it gets tied into your paypal account.  The hardest part is remembering to check in and out for each workout...I've earned a small bit of money (enough to buy a decent bottle of wine) and have not been charged anything..

It keeps me from slacking off...

you can get the App in the App Store...it's free...

So who's with me on this?

what...2 of you?

Seriously I want to hear from you...tell me how you are going to branch out and try something new and not let the holidays become the fall-off-the-wagon days and join me in my

THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION

If enough of you try this and follow through and let me know how it's going (you can PM me) I will...

POST A PHOTO OF ME DOING YOGA

that right there should be enough incentive for at least one of you to do this with me so you can laugh yourself silly at me trying to be a pretzel...

and I might even let Darling DK convince me that I don't hate Pilates...whatever Pilates is (actually I know what Pilates is...and I hated it...but I am willing to try again...)

And for those of you who want to join me at Rev (I'm calling out you DowntownJulieBrown!) this is a great time to do it...get yourself hooked while we normally would be quaffing wassail (ok I don't know what the hell wassail is) and eating sand tarts (I keep mentioning sand tarts because KuteKaren bakes them and they are worth every calorie so I am hoping to convince her to give me 4...).

My THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION is:
lose 1-2 lbs
at least 4 spin classes a week
try yoga
and maybe try pilates (Darling DK I need you!)
less sandtarts and more salmon...

my reward will be that I won't hate myself on January 2...

(but I might hate myself on January 1 if I let RoyBoy make me Fireballs again...)

So make this resolution with me...let's start a revolution...

or you can sit back and eat sand tarts and call me crazy...

either way it's all good...

I'm 50...I want to take care of this body so that maybe I can see 50 more years...and see my children turn 50 and if I can inspire JUST ONE OF YOU to try something new and not give up...

well...

I might just start a revolution...

Inspiration Song: "Revolution" by Diplo...you might have thought I meant the Beatles song (which is awesome and pretty perfect) but I am dedicating this song (first time I have done this) to KuteKim and my Revolution peeps and Amazing Anna who is starting her own revolution with yoga...because they started a revolution in me...and they are revolutionizing our community...

lyrics:
Can you see it?
The worst is over
The monsters in my head are scared of love
Fallen people listen up!
It's never too late to change our luck
So, don't let them steal your light (Eh eh eh eh)
Don't let them break your stride (Eh eh eh eh)
There is light on the other side
And you'll all the raindrops falling behind
It's a revolution
Make it out tonight
It's a revolution
It's a reva, rev
Can you see it?
The worst is over
The monsters in my head are scared of love
Fallen people listen up!
It's never too late to change our luck
So, don't let them steal your light (Eh eh eh eh)
Don't let them break your stride (Eh eh eh eh)
There is light on the other side
And you'll all the raindrops falling behind
It's a revolution
Make it out tonight
It's a revolution
It's a reva, rev
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Rev, rev, rev, rev


Read more: Diplo - Revolution Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Bye Darlings...be a part of my Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution...or eat sand tarts...or both!  I can do both because I am going to not let the holidays kick me in the butt...I'm going to kick #holidaybinging in the butt...