Thursday, February 28, 2013

Second Chance

We all need second chances...

do-overs so to speak...

although sometimes a second chance CAN actually be remaking something into a new life.

So whether it is a do-over or a re-make or recycle, everything needs a second chance

Well maybe not EVERYTHING but MOST things.

I gave my ex a second chance for 5 years and things didn't really change...but I did give him a second chance.  For me it was pretty clear that nothing was going to change and I needed out but for the sake of our kids I held on a little longer with the hope that things would improve but they did not...

And I wanted a second chance at life...my life...a better life...

And so I did take that second chance and asked for a divorce...but I do want it on the record that I did give him a second chance before any of you start telling me I should practice what I preach and I think this may be the biggest example of "did you give it a do-over?".

Yes.

I did.

I also gave myself a second chance at a healthy life when I started my diet.

And I gave myself a second chance at a "prettier" life when I had my surgery.

So all of this got me thinking about second chances.

It really hit me the other day when I went to SweetSally's spin class (not to be confused with SweetSallie because she is a different instructor altogether and I love them both).

The first few times I took her spin class I was like "meh" about it...but JayVee kept encouraging me to give her another chance.  I loved her as a person but as an instructor the jury was still out.

So on Sunday I went to her class and you know what?

I freakin' loved it...LOVED it...

Like she burned JayVee class kind of calories off me and her music rocked.

I.Am.A.Believer.

Except...

dammit now she is moving out of town this spring...

ugh...

But until then I will catch every class I can to soak up her awesome sweetness and the fun of her class.

I took a second chance again yesterday when I decided that I was ready for the "make me feel like puking" class that is ShockWave.  I am not ready for SweetSallie's boot camp (or JayVee's amazing Total Body Jam) yet, but I was ready for her ShockWave.

At least I thought I was until I had to row 450 meters...when I was done with that I thought I was not going to get a second chance but was headed to the Afterlife...(yes that was a few blogs ago).

I didn't get sick but it was a close one.

I am happy to report (because I know Dimples is reading this and will ask) that I only lost about 5-10% off my times on the rower. (The 10% being the 2 seconds I lost on my 100 meter rowing...up to 20 seconds from my usual 18).  There's your stats Dimples...

So giving ShockWave was a good second chance.

I do wish I was a recycler....but I'm not.  I mean I will reuse and repurpose things when I can but no I don't save my paper and cans...besides they don't have recycle trash pick up in my neighborhood.  I do, however, recycle my My Fit Food containers.  For some reason I cannot throw them away...so if you want some, let me know...I have a ton of them...I put all my leftovers in them and have even used them to pack and organize things...

Ke$ha Barbie gives clothes a second chance all the time.  She wears some of my mother's old things and repurposes them into things that I know my mom would never have thought to wear them like and she is also super fond of shopping at the Thrift Stores (Goodwill is too nice...she prefers Value Village and some place in Boston that you pay by the pound).  She gives those Bill Cosby Old Man sweaters new life on her...they are still Bill Cosby Old Man sweaters but she manages to rock them...but sometimes she still looks like a homeless troll...

Sometimes I give wine a second chance...now if it's bad it quickly gets labeled "cooking" and saved for that.

But on the off chance that I don't finish a bottle and it starts to not be drinkable I also use it for cooking...like in spaghetti sauce or to make a sauce.

Now those of you who know me well are probably thinking "when does she have a bottle of wine that she does not finish"...

Well, there are times...but that is usually only when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars...(and if you don't know what the hell I am talking about here you may be too young to read this blog...just sayin....Google it)

But yes I sometimes have leftover wine and it gets a second chance in spaghetti sauce...

Sometimes dinner gets a second chance...like I will often purposely cook more than The Cutest Boy in the World and I can eat because I know I want to use the leftovers for something else...like Tuesday I made fajitas and tonight I made fajita pizza...it saves me time and effort and basically TCBITW will eat anything if I put it on a pizza...

except broccoli
and corn
well pretty much any veggie but onions...

TCBITW does not do most veggies...he was the pickiest eater in the world as a child but is now pretty adventurous (like he will eat Ethiopian raw kitfo, loves raw but not cooked salmon and tuna, and is pretty happy at an Indian restaurant).

Veggies, well some veggies, have been given a second chance...like most beans...except peas and snow peas and green beans...and yes, I know peas are not a bean but...

and he ate a grilled artichoke the other night which shocked me so much I texted his father to tell him...

and he has always been a potato fan and is usually ok with onions...

now corn...that is the one he will NEVER give a second chance to...he literally detests corn...like he has thrown it up he hates it so much...he says it is a texture thing.  He will eat corn chips and popcorn and corn tortillas...just no corn.

Go figure...what kid does not eat corn?

My kid...

Me, I can't think of a veggie I won't eat and Ke$ha Barbie is pretty much the same...

I'm just glad that TCBITW is at an age where he is willing to try things he has before said he hated or did not like...

I often give people a second chance...

let me re-state that...I will always give people I LOVE a second chance and most times I will give people I LIKE a second chance...but if I didn't like you from the start, I have often found that my first impressions (and when I say first impression I don't mean 5 minutes of meeting you but maybe a few hours or days or times I have met you) of people are usually right.  I have been wrong but often if I meet someone and get to know them and find I don't care for them, even if I give them a second chance down the line it is rare that that person becomes a fixture in my life...

but I have been wrong...and a few I have changed my mind about.

When you DON'T get a second chance with me is when you:
abuse me or my friendship
take advantage of me or my kids
"use" me
or make me part of a lie that I have no part in...I will not be anyone's scapegoat...

Do that to me and it is "goodbye"...pretty much forever...

I am a loving and loyal friend and if an honest mistake is made you will be forgiven and given a second chance...but cross a line with me and I am as bad as Bobby Shelton about it...

you are voted off the island

forever

I may forgive you but you will not be let back on the island with me...you gotta float out there and hope no sharks come by that are hungry because I'm gonna stand on the sand of my island and push you back in the water if you try...

A few times I have let someone back on the island and it has not ended well...because I often find if someone abuses me once they will try again.

That is why I don't have a relationship with my stepmonster...

I will be polite to you but there will be no more sharing of the campfire and we sure as hell are not making smores together.

It's not that I don't forgive...there are people I have had misunderstandings with that I can fully say I was 60-99% to blame and things have ended well and forgiveness has happened on both ends and I am very relieved that I still have that person to love.

I forgive because I also want to be forgiven because heaven knows I need all but a papal blessing to get forgiven for many things in my life (which right now I can't get since there is no pope so I better behave...and I'm not Catholic).

I want a second chance...I have been given a second chance too many times to count...

So I give second chances.

But like the old adage:
fool me once, shame on you
fool me twice, shame on me...

you mess with me or my kids twice...game over...and you are voted off the island.

Second chances are important.  I try to daily...or at least weekly...give someone or something a second chance...

hell my cat gets a second and third chance almost hourly...

so I try...

So if you are reading this, and you think I am preaching...well, maybe I am...because as a Christian I know I have been given a second chance thanks to Jesus dying for me...and as a mom I know mistakes happen, and as a woman I know that men need forgiveness minute-by-minute...

So give someone or something a second chance...

and don't wait until the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars...because then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars...

Google it...

I might just have to blog on that one too...oh yeah...I think I will...

Inspiration Song: "Second Chance" by Shinedown...I love me some Shinedown...great band...and this is a great song...a few years ago I used a different "Second Chance" song by Peter Bjorn and John...

Bye Darlings...give someone or something a second chance...you will be glad you did...

Thursday, February 21, 2013

No Scrubs

Now part of me would really like to write this blog about:

1) not wanting to date a doctor...but actually I'm not sure I would be opposed to it...maybe....

or

2) not wanting to be around doctors...and no, I don't usually enjoy doctors...but I do love my plastic surgeon Dr. Bonnie Baldwin...

No, this has to do with one of my favorite hip-hop songs of all time...No Scrubs...by the great girl group TLC

here are the lyrics...

"No Scrubs"
A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)

[Chorus:]
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

But a scrub is checkin' me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash
Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time (no)

[Chorus]

If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty but you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrub
No scrub (no no)
No scrub (no no no no no)
No scrub (no no)

Since I've just spent my second Valentines Day alone as a single girl and although The Cutest Boy in the World makes a very fine valentine (especially now since he broke up with his adorable girlfriend...she was very cute and I still adore her...but he wanted to fly solo and since he is only 14 I have no problem with that), I think maybe at some point I would like to have a man that brought me chocolates and lilies (and maybe some Agent Provocateur lingerie) for a V-day gift.

Not that I am complaining mind you...I really am ok...I've had a pretty full plate what with wrestling and Ke$ha Barbie in college and my surgery...but at some point it might be nice to have someone to share wine with (preferably Michael David Rapture)...and I don't want no scrub...

So with apologies to Tameka Cottle, Kandi Burruss (yes, THE Kandi from "Real Housewives of Atlanta") and Kevin Briggs (the songwriters), I would like to give you MY version...the "White Chick Middle Aged Barbie" version...

A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
And is also known as a loser...
Always talking about what he NEEDS
And just sits on his big ass
so (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want to share any kind of wine (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out at the bar all night
with a bunch of guys
trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out on eharmony
and match.com
trying to get attention from me

But a scrub is checking me
and his game is very weak
and I know that he can't approach me
because I'm looking like class and he looks like an asss
can't get with no dumbass
so (no)

I don't want your email (no)
I don't want to give you mine (no)
I don't want to meet you anywhere (no)
I don't want to none of your kind (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out at a club all night
with random guys
trying to meet girls like me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
drinking beer  and
watching sports all night
trying to date a girl like me

If you have a truck but don't DRIVE it
oh yes man I am talking to you
If you live at home with your mama
oh yes fella I'm talking to you
You have kids but you don't show loving
oh yes dude I'm talking to you
Want to get with me with no money
oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrubs
No scrubs

I don't want no scrubs
a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out at at all the wrong spots
while drinking a bunch
trying to date a girl like me...

OK, you get the picture...

I just want a dude that drives a big ass truck, has a job, doesn't spend his spare time at bars and clubs, loves children, thinks my friends are great (because they are) and knows I like lilies.  Throw in blue eyes, dimples, a great sense of humor and enjoys working out and we might have a winner...

I am seriously considering making any guy that wants to date me go through an interview with GOTT and GOTTESS and JayVee and The Hunk and maybe KuteKaren and RoyBoy too...I mean schools do it for admissions so why shouldn't some guy get screened and approved by the people I love...

Once he passes that test he would have to pass the ultimate...D'nice...and she won't let no scrubs near me for sure...Lord help the man that tries to get past her that isn't up to HER standards for me...

On second thought I might be alone for a long time...

and for now...that's ok...

because I don't want no scrub...

I'd rather be alone

Inspiration Song: "No Scrubs" by TLC.  The other day JayVee asked me to burn her an old school hip hop song from my library and it brought to mind this song...as it is one of her favorites and mine she played it in spin class and it was a "10" on the fun scale...I sang every word...loudly...drove the Tamster nuts but Tiff loved it...

Bye Darlings...I don't want no scrubs...unless they are on a really good looking doctor who drives a truck and will go watch musical theater with me and knows I prefer cabernet to pinot...




Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Unpretty

So now that I have filled you in on TCBITW and his wrestling let's get back to something REALLY interesting...

me
me
me

Because it is all about me you know...

at least this blog is....

So thanks to the 5 hour drive to Dallas and back that included an extended period of time on an overpass due to road construction and 8 hours in the gym I am now in what is commonly referred to as "swell hell".

I know that my working out has increased my swelling as well.  Dr. Baldwin warned me about that.  And if she knew the extent of the torturous rapturous ordeal that JayVee's spin class is she might have told me that I would pass "swelling" and move straight to "blown up like a balloon"...

So despite the fact that working out is good for me, it does make me swell.

And then there is that other little factor in there....

Buc'ees...

now for those of you who are unfamiliar...well, bless your hearts...because Buc'ees is only the most awesome road side rest stop/store/food place...well, like...ever...

and I do mean ever...

there is nothing like a Buc'ees...

clean restrooms
drink stations where you can be your own mixologist like at Sonic
great ice
jerkey
homemade fudge
beaver nuggets (some sort of popcorn like puffed thing that is totally addicting)

but you can also buy crap...like a cookbook for 101 things to do with Ramen noodles (I picked that up for Ke$ha Barbie), or a swing...or a blanket (I bought one on a choir bus trip because I was cold)...a BBQ pit...

various food items and things in jars

GOTT and TTG and I even bought a cane to use as a prop in a show once...

So on my little overnight trip to Dallas I indulged in Buc'ees...I had a sandwich, some jerkey, and once at the hotel I had a wee bit of fudge...and a wee bit more on the way home...

At the wrestling meet I could not bear to eat...mostly because there wasn't much in dining choices (unless I robbed the boys of their food and no way was I getting in the way of Mr. Heavyweight and his sandwich) and basically I just can't stomach anything when my son is wrestling.

So I had...a granola bar...

When the tournament was over at 4:00 I went straight to In and Out Burger and got me a double double with fries and a Diet Coke.  Since we don't have In and Out in Dallas I basically had to get one...

I hit Buc'ees on the way back to get another drink and more crap for TCBITW to have once he got home since he no longer has to make weight.

So this week I am up like 10 lbs...

what the hell?

Really?

REALLY?

Are you kidding me?

It really started to freak me out...like to the point of wanting to cry...

But Dr. Baldwin warned me this would happen...and frankly I totally deserve at least 2 lbs thanks to In and Out and Buc'ees...

Last night I had TCBITW end of season wrestling party...

(we pause now for me to inform you his coach awarded him the "Rookie of the Year" award and he was the only Freshman to make it into the stat books...awesome...my boy is awesome...and he is following the footsteps of Pretty Eyed Joe who was named as a captain next year...he will be the only junior to be one...yes I totally cried over both...ok back to the blog...end of bragging)

I had to figure out what to wear so I opted for a maxi dress that hides the offending swelling.

Sunday night I met a friend up at my club and another friend (male...just a friend...besides he drives a 4 runner not a big ass truck) kept telling me how great I looked...if only he knew that I had on major hardware in the form of my compression garment to keep it all in...I still felt puffy but it was nice to hear...

I basically live in maxi dresses and yoga pants...

So today I am driving around and I have my iPod plugged in and it's playing the latest group of songs I downloaded for JayVee for spin class and "Unpretty" comes on...

And although the words aren't how I feel (if you don't know the song it is about a girl who feels unpretty because someone else makes her feel that way about herself), I did feel a bit unpretty today.

But unlike the song, no one is MAKING me feel that way...

I am making myself feel that way...

So once I got home it was time for a little chat with Anice.

Because she needed a good talking to...

I have spent all this time in money on myself and I am gonna let a little swelling make me feel bad about myself?

Hell to the no...

What an idiot...

It's swelling...its not permanent and I can lose the weight...

But for about 1/2 hour today I was really feeling bad about myself.

And then I remembered seeing model Cameron Russell (she is a Victoria's Secret "Angel") on Good Morning America today and they discussed her TED talk and how she points out that many people think life would just be better if they had shinier hair and thinner thighs and if you were around a group of models, all with shiny hair and thin thighs that all they do is moan about how bad they look...

wow

some of the most beautiful women in the world...or rather women who are held up as a standard to others...and they still feel unpretty

So then I thought...

to hell with it...

I take care of myself

I workout almost every day

I eat healthy 80-90% of the time

I just had a tummy tuck and BA that make me feel great

I can survive JayVee's spin class

And the most important thing of all:

THE INSIDE OF ME IS QUITE PRETTY...I AM A LOVING WOMAN WHO PUTS OTHERS FIRST AND WOULD GIVE THE SHIRT OFF MY BACK TO A FRIEND...

INSIDE...

I.AM.GORGEOUS

So...

I'm no supermodel...and there aren't any men in big ass trucks lining up to take me out...

BUT...

I am not unpretty

even with the 10 extra swollen pounds...

I'm just having a "fat day"...

so I put on my baggy pants...

and my compression binder underneath for good measure...

and I had a few bites of chocolate mousse after the Ethiopian cuisine feast I cooked my boy...

and tomorrow...

I won't be unpretty either...

if only I could get my hair to have more oooomph...

here I go again....

Inspiration Song: "Unpretty" by TLC...actually a pretty good lesson for girls to not let some boy tell them they aren't pretty enough...

Bye Darlings....we all have unpretty days...just get over yourself and remember that it is the beauty inside of us that is important...








Sunday, February 17, 2013

Only the Young

I think it is time for a blog that is not all about me and my surgery...so here you go...a sports blog

So wrestling season has ended for The Cutest Boy in the World...(TCBITW)

So yeah...wrestling season...it's been a long one...but a good one...but a long one...

UGH!

Of the 3 sports my son plays this is the one that puts my stomach most into knots.  Football and lacrosse make me nervous but wrestling makes me crazy.

I love lacrosse...it moves fast and he's pretty safe in the back as a defender...so far he hasn't gotten hurt playing lacrosse...

Once my dear friend TrainerGirl had to attend to him on the sidelines...she was the trainer for the game...he was in 7th grade...

but that was because he needed a haircut...

yeah, she gave him a bang trim on the side of the field...he came off the field asking if I had scissors because his bangs were in his way...in his way of SEEING...so he wanted them cut.

I have many many many things in my purse but that day there were no scissors...

So TrainerGirl had some in her medic bag and she did the deed...I calmly watched as she snipped his bangs with scissors intended for cutting bandages but she did a great job and he plopped his helmet back on and went back into the game.

The coaches...both from our team, the 8th grade team and the opposing team were fascinated...

mostly because I knew all of them and the fascination was that me, the micro-managing of grooming mom, was letting Trainer Girl cut my son's hair...

with medical scissors...

on the sidelines of the lacrosse field...

She and I still laugh about that to this day...she has all kinds of skills and "cutting sweaty lacrosse playing boys bangs" is one of them...since then she uses that story when she has had to do so for other sports boys...

I think it should go on her resume:

"Can give emergency haircuts to sweaty boys"

Two things about this event should also be noted:
1) one of the coaches from the opposing team just now happens to be my son's wrestling coach...which now means that if HE ever gets scissors to my son's hair I don't have a leg to stand on

and
2) this was not his only sideline haircut...one time my friend LovelyLinda had to cut his hair during a wrestling tournament with fingernail scissors...she texted me that she was doing this (as I was not there to witness it but she felt disclosure was needed)...and yes, that same wrestling coach witness THAT haircut...

So the first night TCBITW had his first high school wrestling meet as luck would have it that meet occurred at the high school where TrainerGirl now works.

How did I get so lucky?

I had her by my side to calm me and then we went out for margaritas...

I felt better having her there because TCBITW suffered a concussion on his last set of plays for the football season.  He went in after the coach told him that he had done a great job in the game and just to do that set of downs and then he would put someone from the freshman team in his place.

My son is a freshman but they "moved him up" to the JV...yeah, he was good enough for that...small as he is he knocked down some very big sophomores and juniors...

So he goes in and sure enough as he is tackling a player from the other team another player from that team flew into him and hit him on the side of his head.

It rang his bell...

I was lucky enough to not witness it firsthand...my Aunt Jane did but I had turned to talk to my friend PrettyPhyllis and missed it...or else I might have run onto the field myself.

After the game he complained of headache but luckily did not vomit or pass out.

And luckily the very doctor who delivered him was there at the game...her son plays on the same team...so even though she said "remember I deal with cervixes and not boys" she took a look at him.  Another teammate has a dad who is also a doctor so he called me several times that night to check up on him.  We determined that he had a concussion but there isn't much to do about it so I took him home, fed him and put him to bed...and checked on him through the night.

We took him to the neurologist who pronounced he had a concussion..

No surprise but we felt better knowing a doctor had looked at his hard head.

He's fine now....

Ke$ha Barbie had a concussion once...we were at a soccer tournament but she didn't get the concussion on the field...

She got it in her friend's hotel room by hitting her head on the headboard.

The scary part was that she didn't remember doing it so when she came back to our room she said she felt bad and went to sleep...9 hours later we learned she had hit her head...

She has a hard head too...but in the figurative sense not so much the literal...

Headboards and boys flying at you are no match for your head.

So now each child has had a concussion.

I had 3 as a child...maybe that is what is wrong with me...

So back to wrestling...

What a sport...

Watching boys grapple each other while wearing leotards is totally cringe-worthy...

My son will tell you it is not a leaotard but rather a "singlet" but all the same it is a strange garment...and I totally get why my son waits till the last minute to take off his shorts and why he throws them back on right away when he is done...

It's a very scary uniform to wear...I would look horrible in it....but my son does it justice as he is now a lean mean fighting machine.

I feel sorry for the boys who have to wear...WHITE ONES...(shudder)...they are as horrid as they sound.  And not only do they look just plain awful but...and I'm sorry to inflict this on you and you may need brain bleach after but it was cornea searing to me...it's really not good to be wearing a white singlet if you happen to crap your pants during your match...and yes, that happened to one poor child who was forced to wrestle one of our boys who is pretty much one of the best wrestlers in the nation..not kidding...not kidding about pooping in the pants or the fact that we have a kid who just might place nationally next weekend...

When he started wrestling in the 6th grade he was a pudgy little boy...he looked like a little sausage stuffed into his singlet...but now he looks like a poster boy for wrestling...the real kind not WWF...he's a lean mean wrestling machine.

And I hate the fact he can drop 2 pounds in a day...all water weight but still...

And I hate that we have to watch the weight like obsessive people but it's what you have to do.  But MY rules are that he can watch his weight and even "cut" his weight but only by eating healthy and making smart choices.

No plastic pants, no crazy diets, no "I"m not eating" stuff...

So yesterday was his last tournament of the season.  He has decided not to play lacrosse this year (yes, I wipe a tear as I type this as I do so love watching me some lacrosse...all that running and beating each other with sticks...it's so...so...awesome!).

I sorta wish he would quit football too but he says he will play at least one more year.  He doesn't want to play Varsity so I am hoping they don't make him.  I hate all that hitting...and the sound that the helmets make as they crash into each other.

I remember my first game as a cheerleader and I heard that sound of "helmet on helmet" for the first time and I literally dropped my pompoms and swore I would never have a boy so I wouldn't have to have a football player.

Well I was wrong on both accounts...I have a son...I have  football player...

But in reality he is a wrestler...and now, after 4 years of it...I have come to the acceptance that I will spend many many hours in a gym watching boys in leotards roll around on mats with each other.

So yesterday he took 3rd in the tournament.  I was busting proud because all the boys he beat were older and more experienced.  He lost to one kid and won 3 others...not bad for a freshman.

I have a very special place in my heart for his coach.

8 years ago when me and the ex took TCBITW to camp for the first time we were greeted by...oh heavens he needs a name...let's just call him WC for Wrestling Coach...

So the door to the car is opened by WC who in one breath announces to me that he saw the sticker on the back of my car for my son's school and that he would be coaching wrestling there next year and did my son wrestle?

Gripping the door and trying to close it as fast as possible and wanting to yell at the ex to get us the hell outta there I look at WC and say:

"no...he's only 8 years old!"

I think that is the end of it...

but noooooooooo,,,,

from the back of the suburban a tiny little deep voice says:

"Oh!  I want to wrestle!  Yes I am going to wrestle!"

and he launches himself out of the car and grins up at WC and well...that pretty much did it...

From that point on my son thinks that WC is the greatest guy on the planet (he is pretty great..and he's quite young to be a coach and is awesome)...and all my son has wanted to do is to be coached by WC and on his team...

So this year the dream came true...and my son was coached by WC who has unshakeable faith in my kid and loves him like a big brother and I know will always take care of him.

I stood next to WC before my son's last match and as I hugged him I told him "thank you for being so good to TCBITW...this has been an amazing season"...and I reminded him of that day we dropped TCBITW off at camp when he declared that he would wrestle.

and after my son's last match, WC came running over to me and we hugged and I cried again and WC told me he was so proud to be his coach and how happy he was that after all this time it finally happened.

Our boys did super great...I was proud of all of them, not just my son.

And as proud as I was of my son I had one tiny bittersweet moment as I watched one of his teammates who I will call "Pretty Eyed Joe" (PEJ for short) because that is what the boys call him...

PEJ is the son of my dearly departed friend Laura...I wrote a blog about her after we lost her to breast cancer.  Before she passed away I promised PEJ I would always be his "mama by the mat"...

And after every meet, and sometimes during it, I hold that boy and tell him how much I love him and how proud I am of my "extra son".

When he won his weight class yesterday I cried...I was sad that his mother was not there to share that with him...

but she was...she is just the sweetest prettiest angel in heaven watching down...

and just before he got on the podium to accept his medal he turned to me and hugged me and I told him once again how proud I was of him and how much I loved him...because his mama needed me to say that for her (I didn't tell him that...I wanted it to be a happy moment) and when he placed the medal on his neck I swear I could feel her next to me watching that beautiful boy grin like the champ he was...

It's an awesome sport...a sport I have come to love just as much as I have come to love the boys on my son's team...boys who never once treated him like:
the new kid
just a freshman
the jerk who took my spot on the varsity team

no, they never did that to him...they have watched over him, befriended him, driven him to practice, supported him on the sidelines, screamed and yelled with joy when he wins and comforted him when he loses...

They are his brothers...and they are a group of young men I would proudly call my own...they make good grades...they help each other...they never are nasty to each other but they do have so much fun together...they are like their own little strange fraternity...

and I love all of the parents...

I'm glad my son wrestles...he has been told by boys who don't wrestle that it is "gay" (too bad in our world that is not in insult to us but it is insulting as we have many gay people we love so we find that offensive)...he has been told "it's not a real sport" (really?  oh yeah...no longer in the Olympics...but it is a damn great sport anyway)...he has been told "that's such an easy sport" (I'd like to put that kid on the mat with mine and see what happens)...

and each and every time he has stood his ground and loves his sports...even when it means he couldn't eat pizza...and had to give up every Saturday for meets...and came home more exhausted from practice than after football...

he will miss it..and his team mates....and I will miss the parents and the boys...we are a funny little extended family...you have to be when you spend 8 hours on bleachers together...yelling your lungs out...holding your breath as you pray for a match to end and the last 10 seconds feel like an hour...as you slump exhausted back in your seat (trying not to slip into the footpath of the bleachers) after watching a boy fight his heart out and come off the mat dripping in sweat and nearly out of breath...

it is an amazing sport...

There are worse things in life than watching a boy grapple another boy on a mat while wearing a leotard...as long as said leotard is not white...

Inspiration Song "Only the Young" by Journey....end credits song to the movie "Vision Quest" which may pretty much be one of the only movies about wrestling...great 80's flick with Matthew Modine and an awesome 80's soundtrack...and because only the young can wear a singlet...

Bye Darlings...you have about 8 months before you hear me eat my words and I start complaining about wrestling again...but for now I love it...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Lose My Breath

yes this blog title is ALMOST the same as a previous...but it's not the same blog...that was "Catch My Breath"...this time I am losing it...

I feel sorry for all of you that are not able to take JayVee's spin class...

or any class she teaches...

Yes, you poor unfortunate souls are missing out on the best fitness instructor ever...

and lucky lucky me she is not just my instructor but one of my dearest friends...

She.Is.Amazing.

Like totally...

as in totally amazing...

Now lest you think I am using this blog to butter her up and she will go easy on me...

wrong...

(big honking noise that means "wrong" or "bad answer")

nope...

She will probably go all "open a can of whoop ass" on me even more..not that she doesn't already...

JayVee has been with me pretty much every step of this journey.  She and the Tamster.

I don't know what I would do without them.

Tamster made me come back to spin class...

JayVee made me want to stay.

When we met she was recovering from ACL surgery so she wasn't teaching spin but she would take class.  She would pull her bike next to me and cheer me on...she and my Amazing Katherine (the best cheerleader...ever!).

She encouraged me to try new classes even though I weighed well over 200 lbs.

I fell in love with her classes and Je'taime Jamies classes too.

Between the two of them and Dimples I got myself back to fighting weight...

Dimples moved away (but he is still my brother in my heart and I can hear his voice telling me "no excuses" when I want to wimp out on things) but I still have JayVee and Je'taime Jamie here to keep me going.  And SweetSally and SweetSallie...

But JayVee has been there for me in ways I can't repay...things that go way beyond telling me what tension to put on my bike and how fast to peddle...

Like taking me to church when I needed to learn something...

Encouraging me to get my spin instructor certification because she knew I sometimes just spin alone when I can't make a class...that way I was safe...and enjoyed it...

Inviting me to family holidays and celebrations when she knows I don't have my kids so I won't be alone...

Helping me after surgery...

Eating crap with me I shouldn't eat and then promising to shred it off me next time in class (and yes she always keeps her promises)

And just generally being a very dear friend...

I hope all of you have JayVees in your life...

I have several...and I am afraid that if I start to name one I will forget someone...but they know who they are...they are the people that prop me up when I need balance and they get me out of the gutter when I am low...

But this time I just needed to thank her for all she does for me...

And for killing me every Tuesday at 9:30 in spin class!

Today I hit an all-time high on my calorie burn and boy did I have a blast doing it....here is a little sample of her playlist...go ahead, be jealous...

"Would I lie to you" (Eurythmics)
"Don't worry child" (Swedish House Mafia)
"rock and roll fantasy" (Bad Company)
"No scrubs" (TLC...I so need to do a blog called "no scrubs"...)
"Lose my Breath" (Destiny's child)
"The One that Got Away" (Katy Perry)
"Instant Replay" (Dan Hartman)
"A View to a Kill" (Duran Duran)

I'm sure some of you are looking at that list and saying "huh?"  but it worked...it totally worked...and she can choreograph like nobody's business...and she can put together a playlist that makes everyone happy and it takes us to that next level.

That's why I "preach" to any and all why I love spin.  Because you can be in a class with a good instructor and go from pure 70's rock and roll to the latest alternative (Bad Company to Swedish House Mafia) and just shred it.

And not kill your knees...

And burn calories like nobody's business...

I have a childhood friend who teaches spin out in LA.  He's totally gorgeous...has a gorgeous hubby and two gorgeous twin boys (the whole family is gorgeous....did I mention they are gorgeous?).  I would KILL to get to go to one of his classes...and hopefully soon I can go to LA and visit my awesome Aunt Gayle and also take in one of his classes. My Tommy...are you listening (reading?)...I'm so coming and you have to play Kylie AND Ke$ha for me and tell everyone in the class that I have known you longer than any of them and I in turn will tell them that you pretty much got me through my last 2 years of college...I love you My Tommy...always will...now go and make a baby girl and name her after me because my name goes with your boys names...I will smock her dresses...

sorry for the personal message but I love that man...

and for some reason I seem to only really love men who have other men in their lives...what does that say about me?

oh yes...that I have great taste...

back on topic...sorta...

I totally stalk his blog where he lists the tracks he plays in class...I get new music ideas from him and then in turn I help JayVee and Je'taime Jamie with theirs...I give them cd's of music I think works and they choose what they like and have fun with it.

And then there are days when I just feel old school and suddenly one of them ends up with a CD full of TLC and Earth Wind and Fire...

Like last week I gave Je'taime Jamie "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" by the Scissor Sisters and I am 99% sure I might have been the only one in class who even knows who the Scissor Sisters are (and I frankly am only that cool because Ke$ha Barbie introduced me to them and says they give the best concerts ever).  But she choreographed it great and everyone enjoyed the song...and Tamster wasn't there to complain about it (she hates my music most of the time).

13 years ago a friend dragged me to a spin class.

I was terrified...

but I totally fell in love with it...it is truly my favorite way to burn calories and clear my mind and just feel amazing...

because when I am done with class...dripping in sweat (today my housekeeper thought I had gotten drenched in the rain)...tired but happy...starving...energized...calories shredded...

well, I am a happy girl...

spinning helped to give me back my body...

but it really gave me a better gift...

friends...

because I got the Tamster...and PrettyTiff...and CuteChristine...and April Showers...and Je'Taime Jamie...and DawnDawn...

and it gave me JayVee...and the Hunk (her husband) and her beautiful children...

and that is a gift that is perfect...

even if she makes me want to vomit...or scream...or die...every Tuesday at 9:30...(and Monday's at 9:30 when I can get back to Total Body Jam).

So JayVee...this blog is for you...for killing me...and loving me...thank you my sweet friend!

Inspiration Song: "Lose my Breath" by Destiny's Child...I watched the Super Bowl with JayVee and we marveled at Beyonce and Michelle and Kelly...amazing...but also because JayVee totally rocked this song with choreography today and I want to do it again and again...

Bye Darlings...I hope you have someone in your life that inspires you to work harder...faster...stronger...better...I have been blessed with several...but JayVee is my chief ass kicker and I hope you have one too!



Sunday, February 10, 2013

Centerfold

Disclaimer:  I am writing this blog while watching the Grammy Awards and highly distracted...not to mention that I really need a shower and probably to go to bed...I have only had one glass of wine...but this is keeping me off of eBay to write this so here we go...oh and this is really more for the ladies)

I. Love. Lingerie.

I never did before...

I mean I sorta did years ago before kids but not really...every once in a while I would get thin and hit Victoria's Secret but not with the fervor I am feeling these days.

For years I have been obsessed with Agent Provocateur Lingerie and La Perla lingerie but in my wildest dreams I couldn't imagine spending $170 on a pair of knickers (hey, if you are going to buy British panties they are KNICKERS) or $220 for a bra.

Not that I have...

Or ever will...

The closest I have ever gotten to Agent Provocateur was wearing the perfume.  I discovered it 10 years ago and next to Angel it is probably my favorite scent.  It's hard to find and one that most women can't wear but it seems to work on me.  Out of the bottle it smells totally "old lady" but once on it is soooo sexy...when I wear it I imagine that I am some 1940's "doll" sitting at my dressing table wearing my satin tap pants and camisole as I dress and roll on my stockings...

sigh...

yes, it is that kind of scent...

But that was all I could ever wear of Agent Provocateur (AP)...just the perfume...

Once I ventured into the Vegas store to buy another bottle.  I was hugely fat then (see photo from previous blog) and the shop girls just stared at me...

Now if you haven't been into an AP store before, it is not quite like a Victoria's Secret.  All the shop girls at the AP stores have a uniform of a pink dress that looks a bit like something a waitress in the 50's would wear at a diner.  They also have a black dress but the pink thing is the iconic look.  The whole store is black and pink and smells of a boudoir...it's a super sexy place...they make VS look like JC Penney...this is literally (to me) the sexiest stores in the world...

And the lingerie...

heaven

well, heaven for the super rich...or those who think nothing of spending $200 on a garter belt.

So when the shop girl asked the huge fat chick (me) if she could help I'm sure she was terrified...

I told her I wanted a bottle of the perfume...

and she gulped...

I mean, like I could literally tell she gulped with relief that she wasn't going to have to find some gentle way to inform me that there was literally nothing in the store I could wear OTHER than the perfume.

Now you would think all of that would deter me from wanting to ever own their lingerie, but bear in mind a few things:
1) I knew I was fat and couldn't wear anything there
2) I just wanted to go in there even if I couldn't buy anything but perfume
and
3) I know I am never going to buy a pair of $170 knickers...

But oh, the stuff is breathtaking...

gossamer garter belts...

silk bras with lace that is exquisite...

thongs with tiny silk bows that literally look like they are made of butterfly wings

just google it...

and you will also sigh...

that is if you are a lingerie fan...

It's like the La Perla stuff from Italy...which is also breathtaking and gorgeous and far more expensive than I can afford...

I can't justify I pair of panties that cost more than any shoes I have in my closet

But lately I just can't wait until the swelling goes down and I no longer look like "Bloat" from Finding Nemo or the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters (it depends on how I am swelling that day...if it is all in the middle I am soooo Bloat).

And I need the boobs to drop and settle so I can see what true size I will be...

But I have a longing to buy beautiful lingerie to adorn myself with

Not that I have anyone to wear it for but I do so like to decorate myself!

I want silk chemises...

and little silk and lace teddies

and silk tap pants and camisoles

and gorgeous bras with lace and bows

and a long bias cut silk 1940's movie star gown and robe

and maribou mules

and corsets...lots and lots of corsets

and flirty little baby dolls

things made of silk...and bows...and lace...and satin...and bling...

Things I have no reason to wear...and no man with a big ass truck to wear them for...

But oh I do want them...

I have made a few purchases...I did find a beautiful not terribly expensive silk chemise with eyelash lace from the "Harriet" line from Fredericks of Hollywood...it is gorgeous..and when I put it on I felt pretty and womanly...

I think I deserve to sleep in silk once a week even if I have to handwash it...so I bought it...

And as I type this I have gotten emails that I have won 2 items on eBay...I am now the proud owner of a La Perla bra and I did find a pair of AP knickers that were priced more like VS...I love pretty things but I hate paying full price so if they are "new with tags" I will purchase them from eBay...

But I am thinking that next time I am in Vegas I think I will return to that AP store in Caesar's shopping arcade and not just pick up a bottle of perfume.

I might just tell the gal there "I want a bra and panties' and go have fun trying it on...

And maybe if I have been lucky at the black jack table (that's what I do...I make a deal with myself that I will "win" enough to buy something specific and then I stop once I have the $)...

or if I am with a man who drives a big ass truck who feels like decorating me...

well, maybe I will buy me a pair of $170 knickers...

hmmmm....

probably not...that's like 2 pairs of Michael Kors shoes on sale at DSW...but it will be fun to try it on and feel like I live like that...

And in the meantime I will troll eBay and see if I can't find me a little something to put away for "someday"...

Someday when I am not bloated...

Someday when a man who drives a big ass truck (who deserves me) is in my life and worthy

Someday when I just need to feel pretty

I have a drawer set aside for it...

And I will feel like a centerfold...albeit a soccer mom centerfold...but nonetheless I will feel pretty and sexy...and even if I am the only one who knows I am wearing an Italian baby blue bra with gorgeous lace under my t-shirt...well that would make ANY girl feel like a pin-up girl...

And that is a lesson for all of us women...sometimes we need a little pretty in our lives...a little something that makes us feel like we have that little "oomph" to ourselves.

If you are married or have a man in your life I am making a bet right here and now that if you pull out a little silk and lace he will clean the kitchen for you or go get the oil changed in your suburban.

Go ahead...make that bet with me...

I could use the money for my lingerie fund...

I will win...

You put on a little corset or a chemise or baby doll and that garage is going to get reorganized next weekend...

it works every time...

and if you are a woman with a woman in your life...well, she won't complain I promise...and I'm betting you will have her help with cleaning out the pantry...

It's valentines day ladies...so go to your nearest "pretty little things" shop and treat yourself and your Significant Other in your life...find something that makes you feel beautiful...a bra...panties...a thong...a corset...a baby doll...a new robe...

And even if you just do it for yourself, slipping on a little silk brings out the "Marilyn" in us all...and we all need to find our inner Marilyn...

OK, I am ending this and taking a shower and going to bed before I troll eBay anymore...and I'm going to put on that silk chemise and have sweet dreams...of a pink and black lingerie store that has things I can actually wear and not look like a total fright in...

and that is what sweet dreams are made of...oh but that is another blog...

Inspiration Song: "Centerfold" by the J. Giels Band...remember that?  "my angel is the centerfold"...JayVee reminded me of it the other day...nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nanna nanna nah naaaah....

Bye Darlings...bring out your inner Marilyn...she was the ultimate Centerfold...find your inner sexy and splurge on yourself...you might just get the attic reorganized...or new tires on your SUV...




Thursday, February 7, 2013

Catch My Breath

It has been 6 long weeks...

In fact it was really 6 long weeks and 2 days...

6 weeks and 2 days since I was on my beloved Keiser spin bike.

Today we had a reunion.

I'm not entirely sure I want to get back together with my drug of choice...

nah, I'm kidding....

It. Was. Awesome.

I loved every second of Je t'aime Jamie's class...every single second.

Even when I wanted to puke...

Even when my heart rate went to 170 (high high high for me) but I never lost my breath...

Even though my heart rate stayed at 160 (and usually it only "visits" there)

Even when the thought of how sore I was going to be hit me at the 48:28 minute mark...and yes, just a few hours later I am sore...don't care...

Even when she played a country song (sorry, I like country in a bar but not spin class but others enjoy it so I just roll with it)

Even when the sweat was rolling off me so fast I couldn't mop it off fast enough (ok maybe that is TMI)

Even when Tamster laughed and said "sheeeee's back and so is the bad music" when Je T'aime Jamie played my beloved Ke$ha music...and Kylie...but Tamster loves me...just not my taste in music...

Even when I realized that I was gonna have to keep doing it for the rest of my life so I can keep this body I paid so dearly for...

hell yes...

I am in love...with the Keiser bike...

It is literally the only mechanical device I have ever been in love with...

(Oh yeah I know just where some of your minds went after reading that comment and I'm pleading the 5th and saying "keep guessing"...hahahahaha)

I'll rephrase...it is the only mechanical device I will CLAIM and publicly declare that I am in love with...

well that and my rabbit...

No, not THAT rabbit...my rabbit wine opener that Twirler Girl gave me.  THAT rabbit...WINE rabbit. So I can quickly and efficiently get into a bottle of wine with a minimum of effort.

I love the bike and the wine rabbit...

Oh and maybe I should at my Clarisonic Mia and my Clarisonic Opal and my SonicCare toothbrush...

Just call me a polygamist...I have more than one love...

So back to me and the bike...and get your minds back there too because I can tell some of you are still wandering and wondering (rabbit?  what rabbit?...the WINE one...for WINE).

So yes, spin class was awesome and it was sooooo fun getting to see my friends I have missed...

One friend said "you just THINK this is your class"...

I answered him with "No Honey...I KNOW this is my class!"...well it is Je T'aime Jamies class but if she's the queen I wanna be the princess.

My friend the ever-gorgeous MarvelousMonica said "you probably have been listening too music these past 6 weeks" and I told her that yes indeed me and the iTunes have been buddies and that I had handed Je T'aime Jamie a cd full of new fun stuff .  (And chica if you are reading this...it has Fall Out Boy's new song on it...just for you!)

I'm gonna spin on Saturday and Sunday and then on Tuesday I get to have the whole box of chocolates because JayVee teaches on Tuesday and there are only 2 things I am certain of:

1) I might die

and

2) If I don't die I will have a helluva ride and burn 600 calories

and then I will WANT to die...or kill her...but I can't because I love her and her class too much...and besides I need someone to drink beer with while her husband the hunk cooks us things we.should.not.eat.

(Don't even get me started on what we consumed during the Super Bowl...evil terrible awful things that should not be spoken of...things...with...bacon...)

I can't wait...for her class...not more things with bacon...we need no more of that...

and I am mentally preparing for it like I mentally prepared for the all-day Keiser training in December or when I took the spin instructor certification class.

If you had told me 4 years ago that I would be EXCITED about a spin class and that I would actually be almost despondent that I could't work out for 6 weeks I would have told you that you needed your head examined...or asked what drugs you were taking because I too wanted to live in FantasyLand.

And besides, I am still working off the consumption of evil and terrible things during the Super Bowl so I need a whole lotta cardio to make up for:
margaritas
bacon cheeseburgers
cheese stuffed jalepenos wrapped in bacon (see I said there was bacon)
queso with taco meat
BS dip (I call it "man crap"...cream cheese, sausage, and rotel...you don't want to know this)
7 layer dip
mushrooms stuffed with cream cheese and sausage
flan (made by an angel but it is the devil)
raspberry white chocolate bundt cake (from Nothing but Bundt...something else you don't want to know about)
Fritos
corn chip scoops

all consumed in about a 6 hour period...

I heard that the calorie consumption of most people during super bowl sunday is second only to Thanksgiving...I think this year I topped it...

So yeah, I had a lot to make up for.  And watching Beyonce did not help me any...damn she looked great.  Maybe if I had gotten up and done the Single Ladies dance I would have lost a few...micro ounces...

I need to backtrack a little...and tell you about my doctor's appointment and body pump...which I should have started with but I was so excited about spinning I sorta lost myself...plus this blog is never planned it is all just train of thought as the words vomit out of me onto the keyboard.

And by the way I am writing this stone cold sober in the middle of the afternoon so we cannot blame cabernet or any form of pain killers for how insane this all must be...

So I went to see the amazing Dr. Baldwin on Wednesday...she is so pleased with my progress (as am I but I'm not a doctor) and she said I could work out...with restrictions...

Um...can I get on a spin bike?

Yes...

Then nothing else matters...

I can also do weights class.  There are a lot of restrictions there:
no chest work
no pec work (same thing...I guess...Dimples?)
no heavy lifting up and over my head (so squats are done with free weights)
no flies of any sort
no pushups (ok that one I sorta am super happy about...sorry Dimples...he's so glad he's not here for this!)

The jury is still out on whether or not I can do the rowers and return to my beloved Shock Wave class.

I told her (Dr. Baldwin) I felt like I should walk around in a t-shirt that says "Body by Baldwin" on it because I feel so good.

When I was at Whole Foods last week (stop me if I have told you this story) I heard a voice behind me call my name...I turned around to see a friend I haven't seen in about 2 months.  She told me she had heard that I had surgery and asked about it.  She was blown away...so much so she asked for Dr. Baldwin's name and number.  As I am telling her the name and she is writing it down this random woman comes wheeling by with her cart and says "are you talking about Dr. Baldwin? I just left her office from a tummy tuck consult!"

My friend and I busted out laughing...friend says "show her the pics" and I did...

I'm pretty sure she called the office and booked the surgery...

We all agreed Dr. B is the bomb...

So after she looked me over and pronounced me ready for the gym I told her "good because I am going to to go body pump tonight".

She was so not surprised...

I think she only would have been surprised if I had told her "I will do next week"...and I think she was shocked I didn't turn up in my gym clothes...but I had a nail appointment after so the gym did have to wait...

The other great news (besides getting to work out and healing well) is that:

I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THE HORRIBLE DREADED SQUEEZE-ME-TO-DEATH SUPER HARD TO GET IN AND OUT OF AND A REAL PAIN WHEN NEEDING TO PEE COMPRESSION GARMENT...

Although she did suggest i might want to wear it at night so...since I totally sleep alone (unless you count the cats) and I'm not trying to impress anyone...I will...

So I went to Body Pump last night and sweet thing CuteCasey taught and since he knows what I had done we discussed what I could and could not do.  Thank goodness for JayVee because she called me Wednesday afternoon to help me figure out what I could lift and do.

So I put tiny little "girl" weight on my bar (1/2 of what I normally do) for warm-up and said a prayer and lifted...

It.Felt.Great.

For lunges I just held free weights in my hands or on my shoulders (since it's not good for me to pick up a heavy bar and lift it up and over my head just yet...even with Casey's help) and the free weights kept me from going too heavy.

2 "tracks" down and I wasn't dead yet...

Next was chest...

break time!

I checked my email and felt sorry for everyone else...no one wants to lift weights for 5 minutes to "Welcome to the Jungle" (and sadly not the original) or do pushups so I was sorta happy for my doctor ordered ban on it...

Next was the back track.

I went light...really too light...

But here's what was great...

There are all these "pulls" you do to the chest or belly and in the past my belly got in my way.

No more...

No more..

Go me!

(or rather go Dr. Baldwin and all the flesh she removed)

The "clean and press" moves didn't feel great but didn't hurt either...

Then we moved on to triceps...

hmmmm....

I went light on the bar and was fine down on the bench doing the little presses...

Trouble came knocking at my door when I tried to do a tricep dip off the bench.

Houston we have a problem...

Felt like my implants were going to explode...

So no dips for a while...

I modified with lifting a plate over my head in tricep extensions...that didn't hurt (my chest...but i felt it in my arms).

Then we had biceps and shoulders and I got through those just fine...

And then core...

Hmmmmm....

as I got down on the mat I wondered what a crunch was going to feel like...

a crunch feels like...

not so fun...

But do-able.

With modifications...it will be a while before I am back to reverse curls etc...but a regular crunch feels just fine.

And then came the moment I cried...

plank

In the past when I planked I would look in my mirror and see the loose skin hanging down like a hammock under me.

Gross.

Super Gross.

I hated it...huge motivation for doing the tummy tuck.

I wasn't even sure I could DO a plank...

But I did...

and as I looked in the mirror...

nothing

flat....

no hammock

I wiped away a tear and said a prayer of gratitude for my surgeon...my ability to do the surgery...that I was healthy enough to do the surgery...that I could pay for the surgery...that I had family and friends to help and support me with my surgery...

And I thought :

HELL YES

And then I made the same vow I have made many times a day since I got the surgery:

I will never ever ever be the fat unhappy girl again...I will work to keep this body I am so happy with...

Well, there are still some flaws but right now I am pretty happy...

So my sweet friend KuteKimmie took this photo of me after class...she suggested it and I almost didn't let her but she was right...I needed to mark the occasion.  Most of you have seen it on FB:


So there I am with my very light weight but I am happy happy happy as you can see.

By the way, isn't the top the bomb?  I found a new website for workout clothes:
www.zobha.com

priced like Lucy and Lululemon but you won't see 8 other girls at the gym in the same top ;)

So now I am a pretty happy girl...even though my quads are screaming as I sit here at my desk...

So I will use my favorite combination "cure"...wine and Advil (but later...much later) and I'll be fine.

So as I finish this blog I'm thinking:

"you sure talk alot about yourself and seem to think the whole world cares what you lifted or did...where's the good message in that?"

And no, I don't think anyone comes here to read this for anything other than entertainment but I do feel like I should share SOME wisdom or something...after all I am the mother of a philosophy major (this week...yeah Ke$ha Barbie seems to think someone might want to hear her thoughts on things...no, not really...no one wants to hear anything she says...) and because I am southern and we LOVE to spout wisdom whether it is good or not..

Well, what is the message here?

I.Got.Nothing.

Or maybe I do...

Shop at Zobha...

no...seriously...no I mean it...shop there...

but seriously back to what any of you can take away from this (besides having wasted 10 minutes of your time reading this?)...

Ok...I got it:

You won't get a man who drives a big ass truck unless you go to the gym!

No, that's not it either (but it may be true)

BE GRATEFUL

There you go...be grateful...

for what you have
and what you can do
and what you hope to do

Because if this girl, who once weighed over 300 pounds, can cry with joy that she got back to the gym and can say that doing spin class was the bomb...well, anyone can too...

I may not be able to keep up with the pace or the tension the instructor says to use but I will get back there again...

I may not be able to lift the weight I used to but I will be able to again some day...

I may not be able to do pushups (Dimples is now rolling on the floor grateful that he no longer has me to deal with on this one) but I will again some day...maybe....

I may not be able to do all the core work I was able to 7 weeks ago but I will be able to...

And for all of that...and for all of you...

I am grateful!

Thank you for taking this journey with me...I still have a long way to go but it is so much better with someone in the passenger seat to keep me company...

Thank you for all your kind words and well wishes...

Thank you for all the support...

Thank you for reading this stuff I spout out...

Thank you for helping me...

Get ready...the road is long and I need navigators and someone to pump the gas...

Inspiration Song: "Catch my Breath" by Kelly Clarkson...awesome...because surgery allowed me to sit back and catch my breath...and today I didn't have to work as hard to do it as I expected...

Bye Darlings...Catch your breath too...and be grateful...and thank you