Sunday, July 29, 2012

Run

Hello friends...

Longtime readers are looking at the title of my blog and asking "did she start running again?  Wasn't she like banned from that?"

The answers:
No
and
Yes

No I am not running.  I value my knees too much.  And yes, I am still banned.

How I wish my knees had not been so abused by 300 pounds...but they were...and some days I feel it more than others.  I know Dr. Harvey will happily fix my left one up as good as my right but frankly if I am going under the knife I would prefer it was for a tummy tuck and not my knees...only because selfishly I want a flat stomach that no amount of crunches will take care of...only Dr. Bonnie Baldwin can do that kind of magic...and it requires surgery...

So I take care of my knees.

I don't run...

I do however modify things in exercise class so I can continue to WALK...and since I am so obsessed over this class that JayVee teaches I modify so I can keep doing it.

What? I haven't blogged about my obsession with her Total Body Jam (TBJ) class?

Oh dear...or maybe you are just lucky because I am OBSESSED with it.

I'm also doing her Strike class which I like but do not LOVE like I do the TBJ class...mostly because I am sooooo uncoordinated in Strike which is a cross between kickboxing and being a samurai warrior.

Not kidding...

And they both kick my bootie...but in a good way.

The first time I took TBJ I texted JayVee that it literally hurt to turn my steering wheel and I had to ask The Cutest Boy in the World to help my pull my top off.

Speaking of TCBITW...I just have to share...cause this is funny...so the other day he is playing Xbox and linked up through the DevilBox (my name for it) with his friends...he is playing "Call of Duty" and I go in and kiss him and he says:

"Um Mom...don't kiss me!!!!  I'm trying to assassinate people here!!!!"

Yeah...I texted that to DragonLady right away...

Words I never want to hear uttered again by my 14 year old son...

But I digress...and I have wandered off topic YET AGAIN...I do that alot...my children have threatened to crush their ADD meds into my coffee...

Ok so back to TJB and Strike...I burn mega calories and it makes me feel a bit like an athlete to do it.  I mean spin is awesome and fun and still my favorite form of cardio but TBJ and Strike make me feel like I'm you know...kicking some butt....

You see I am sooooooo not an athlete...

I was literally the last person picked for teams during PE...always...

I'm a good dancer...particularly ballet and contemporary...and drill team stuff...and I was a cheerleader but I have no skills when it comes to hitting things with a stick or catching things or throwing things...

Epic fail...

and I do mean EPIC FAIL!

I think I may have mentioned the day one of the lacrosse coaches tried to teach me how to throw a ball into the net and was in danger of losing valuable body parts...my son experienced the same thing trying to teach me the same skill...

I can't play golf...I even had a golf coach once tell me "close your eyes and pray for the best"

I can't play softball...

I can't play basketball (heck I even have trouble with the tiny bit of "dribbling" JayVee has us do in TBJ)...and tossing and catching the 4 lb ball...fuhgetaboutit...

No skills...no skills...

I just can't do anything that requires handling balls...

Oh go and get your minds out of the gutter because as I typed that I came to the same conclusion about that sentence but I am leaving it because I can't handle them...

or should I rephrase to...

I can't do anything that requires handling SPORTS balls...

as to the other...well, that is just TMI...and right now we are discussing TJB....

So as I meander along writing this blog you are wondering just where the heck is she going to end up?

First it was running...then exercise class...then TCBITW and video games...then sports...

Well...that is where we are ending up...

SPORTS

Because it is my favorite TV time of all...the Olympics!

Actually I like the Winter Games better but I honestly can't get enough of the swimming and diving and running and gymnastics...

I'm not going to dissect the Opening Ceremonies here (yes, they were good...loved Sir Paul...loved the big house with the video screens) or the fact that Ryan Lochte is hotter than crap...you can go elsewhere for that...

although every once in a while I might have to spontaneously bust out with a "Ryan Lochte is hotter than crap"....

I bet he can drive a big ass truck...too bad he's too young and out of reach for me...

He.Is.Hot.

So I plan on od'ing on sports watching since I obviously can't play any sports.

I DID try to do gymnastics but I found I had 2 major hurdles to overcome that I just couldn't seem to get myself over:

1) I am deathly afraid of heights (and yes that balance beam is HIGH and so are those bars)
and
2) I am afraid of going backwards...

yes, backwards...

I was flexible enough and I have good rhythm...and I am strong...and I can launch myself pretty high...but when it came to getting on that damn beam and doing flips...

fuhgetaboutit

So I never mastered a back flip flop or a back flip...

I even tried to take some gymnastics classes at the high school in Kingsville when I was in the 7th grade.  The head coach at the high school was Coach Lewis.  He called me "Little Miss Won't Bo Backwards".  I love him anyway...

7 years later when I was at A&M I worked in the computer lab in the Ag department.

My boss was a woman named Carol Lewis.

I loved her...she loved me...so one day she got her husband to come up and meet us for lunch.

Yes...you guessed it...

He walked in...Coach Lewis...looked at me...started laughing and with tears streaming down his face he said "well if it isn't Little Miss Won't Go Backward"...I loved them...they were great "extra" parents for me when I was in school.  And try as he might, he could not get me on the beam or to go backwards...

(And we stop now and take a little commercial break from this blog so I can say once again that Ryan Lochte is hotter than crap)

So yes, I have utterly failed at every sport I have ever tried.

It's just not in me...

Unless you count cheerleading (not the competitive crazy ponytail and glitter competitive kind but the basic high school cheerleading), I am not an athlete.

I was a cheerleader my senior year of high school.

I did it to tick off the drill team coach.

My plan backfired when I made cheerleader.

I loved the rest of my cheerleading team and once I got over being laughed at at cheerleading camp because everyone thought our team name (The Antlers) was hilarious, I sorta enjoyed it.

And yes, Antlers is a stupid name for a team.

But hey...we were in a district with the likes of the Billygoats, the Gobblers, and the Unicorns.

I'll take Antlers thankyouverymuch...

Ok so Lochte is getting ready to swim.

Have I mentioned that he is hotter than crap?

So no...I don't run...and no I don't do sports...

But I do enjoy watching the Olympics and I do especially enjoy the swimming and the track and the gymnastics...

And in my dreams...I can swim like Dara Torres...flip like Gabby Douglas...I'm as gorgeous as a member of the Dutch Field Hockey team (have you seen those girls? As Daddy would say...chickipoos!)...I look as good in a bikini as Misty May-Treanor...I can throw a javelin and look as gorgeous doing it as Leryn Franco (look her up...OMG)...

And I can run...and I run like the wind...like Malibu Barbie running like the wind...and my knees don't hurt...and my flab doesn't jiggle...

But in real life...well I am no where close to that...but you know what?  I don't care...

I got JayVee and Total Body Jam...

And that, my friends, is as good as it gets...and I'm just fine with it...

Because when you can have fun while burning calories and one of your best friends (who is awesome) teaches it...

Well, that is a gold medal in my book...

Because from where I came from (not being able to go up the stairs without losing my breath) to being able to do 17 "burpees" in 45 seconds and not puking...

Um yeah, that is winning a medal...at least to me...

Now get me to that podium, throw that gold around my neck, and hand me those flowers...

and cue that National Anthem...

Because any day you can push yourself and work hard...well, you may not be in London at the Olympics but you are a winner...

Inspiration Song: "Run"...soooooo many versions of this song...I first heard it in Body Pump...but then I heard the original version by Snow Patrol and loved it...and then I heard Leona Lewis' version and I became obsessed...but my favorite version was sung by Katherine McPhee on the tv show "Smash" but stupidly NBC did NOT release that version on iTunes...but if someone knows how I can get it I will be grateful...it is a GORGEOUS song...makes me cry...pick your favorite...for me until I can get Katherine it is Leona...heartbreaking and beautiful song...

Oh, and did I mention Ryan Lochte is hotter than crap? Even if he didn't hold onto the lead in the relay he is still hotter than crap...

Bye Darlings...enjoy watching what the best athletes in the world are doing in London...but be a gold medal winner yourself...try something new...try something that scares you...(shout out to RadiantRita...I'm holding your hand baby girl...you know what I 'm talking about )...like Nike says...just do it...

tomorrow...I'm gonna go backwards...maybe just a back roll...but I'm gonna do it...





Monday, July 23, 2012

You Get What You Give

The other night I came home and found THE MOST PERFECT GIFT on my doorstep!

I like gifts just fine, but I'm a giver so I am usually happier when I GIVE a gift than when I receive one...but when someone find you THE MOST PERFECT GIFT...well, you just have to LOVE LOVE LOVE it...

And blog about it...

So let me tell you...and show you...what was on my doorstep...

(I apologize now for the poor quality of my photos...I need a new lens on my camera...gonna get to "Fix Your Gadget" (yes, they will fix your iPhone here in Houston) and get it taken care of)



Yes, that is a real, honest-to-God, vintage Barbie case!

Inside...

Yes, that is MALIBU BARBIE!!!!

I don't keep her in the case...she lives on my nightstand so I can see her every day...see...


She is so perfect and beautiful!  She even has her little towel.

I'm considering getting her some clothes so I can play dress up with her...

So where did she come from?

I have a nickname among some of my friends...yup, you guessed it...Malibu Barbie.

I'm rather fond of my tan and my bleached (from the sun) hair.  If only I had her figure...but I'm working on it.

So my friend Marvelous Margaret...who I am renaming "Dragon Lady" on this blog for reasons known to her and me...spent most of June calling me Malibu Barbie when she saw me...she still does...

So she was at a vintage store and voila...she found the doll and a case.

Now I have to tell you, it is one of the BEST gifts ever...because it was given for fun...and love...and friendship...and because I totally LOVE LOVE LOVE Malibu Barbie!

I cried when I saw the case...and then the tears would not stop when I opened up the case and saw her inside...and I knew that Dragon Lady is a very special friend indeed.

You know you are really blessed when a good friend gives you a gift that is simply PERFECT!

And this one is perfect...

It's just like my 1/2 birthday gift that GOTT and GOTTESS and GOTTSON gave me 2 years ago...my favorite coffee mug that says "Don't make me call the flying monkeys"...it is a statement I often tell the kids at school...and every time I drink coffee from it I love GOTT and GOTTESS and GOTTSON even more.

Last year for my birthday GOTTESS gave me the sweetest card about being friends and a little book about friendship...I keep them both in my nightstand so that I can smile and feel the love with which they were given.  She is a special friend indeed...

And as you can see my nightstand is my treasure place...

I also keep a gift that my friend SuperSue (she was one of my camp counselors) gave me...it is a joke gift but it reminds me of camp...

what is it you ask?

(of course you want to know...)

well, this one is unusual...

once upon a time at Friday Mountain Girls Camp someone decided that when Julie (the best camp director ever and who's love and approval I want and treasure as much as my own mother's) said we should SHARE...well, that camper decided to SHARE...

the stomach bug....

Yes, about 60% of the camp fell victim to a vile form of the stomach bug...

And so one of the campers decided that while she was locked up in the infirmary cabin that she would write a manifesto about the ills of the stomach bug...

she wrote it on toilet paper...

SuperSue ended up with it...and she sent it to me...and I treasure it...because it reminds me of camp and even though I fell victim to it, I remember the year fondly...

I even wrote a play for us to perform at camp about it...I called it "The Wizard of Kidd" (the camp was owned by the Kidd family).  It was a take-off on The Wizard of Oz.  The wicked witch was named "Montezuma's Revenge" and she was killed when Dorothy threw Pepto Bismol on her...

I thought it was a pretty clever play...I myself was not Dorothy but the scarecrow...

So I keep the toilet paper manifesto there in my drawer...

The best wedding gift I received was a handmade quilt lovingly stitched by LovelyLinda.  I treasure that quilt.  When I packed up for the hurricane it went into a plastic tub for safekeeping.  I sleep with it when I don't feel good.

The marriage didn't last but the quilt did...and I'm lucky that LovelyLinda is still my friend.

My Aunt Jane (the Best Person in the World) gives me a lot of amazing gifts.  But one of the best is a photo collage that reminds me of how far I have come with my weight loss.  And a photo frame that she managed to buy when I wasn't looking when we went to Oprah.

My friend D-nice gave me the best gift for Christmas...she got me a beautiful apron and some herbs de provence as a promise that we are going to cook our way through Julia Child together.  Even if we don't get through all the recipes I will treasure getting to cook next to one of the people I love most in this world.

I gave her a bottle just like they used on "I Dream of Jeannie"...she keeps it in here bedroom...it cost next to nothing but it symbolizes a mutual love we have...

My friend Angel Amy gave me a great gift when she made me apply for the Oprah show...

And Twirler Girl knows the way to my heart because she gave me a Rabbit...no not the "naughty" kind like on Sex and the City...but a Rabbit wine opener!

(hahahaha...I got you there!  I did the same thing to D-nice when I texted her and told her I got her a Rabbit...she wasn't sure if I meant the wine opener, the "toy" or a bunny...)

So you see...a REAL gift is one that touches you in a way you can't forget...

I try and do that when I can...

I gave GOTT a mug that reminds him of how special he is...he likes to drink his hot tea from it.  I also got him a hot water boiler to use at work so he could make his tea...he likes tea...

I've got something special picked out for GOTTESS this year...but I'm not telling cause she reads this...but hey GOTTESS...I know what you want!!!!!

I have a friend who had a bunch of t-shirts that he was holding on to but no longer wore.  He asked me what I thought he should do with them.  I told him to give them to me if he trusted me...he did trust me and he gave me the shirts.  I had a quilt made out of them for him.  He teared up when I gave him the quilt and declared it the nicest thing anyone had done for him.  It was a simple gift but a lovely way for him to remember what the shirts meant even if he can't wear them...and now he doesn't have to part with them.  I did it as a gift but it was also a test run because I want to do the same thing with my son's camp t-shirts.

(www.campusquilt.com)

The other day a friend mentioned that after her grandmother died she had a lot of chenille blankets that they were trying to figure out what to do with.  They had teddy bears made from the blankets and she treasures hers...what a great idea!  What a great gift...

Ke$ha Barbie collects old vinyl albums...I found "Pet Sounds" by the Beach Boys for her...we love that album and how it changed music...she framed it...but to me it represents our mutual love of music and that I taught her that some of the best stuff comes from the past...

The other day I ordered JayVee something for her new house...it's not much and it really is just something for her pantry but I knew she would appreciate it and I knew that every time she opened the pantry she would appreciate having it there.  It's not what you spend, but it is about thinking about what the other person NEEDS sometimes...she was going to get it for herself but it was more fun to surprise her...and she does so much for me that I loved doing it...

But really I think one of the best gifts we can give is our time...be it to help a friend move...or to listen when someone needs you...or an afternoon to just laugh together.

But the BEST gift of all is love...not a thing...just to give your love...freely...

I read "The 5 Love Languages for Singles" (all of the books are good but that one applied to me best).  But the 5 languages are the same whether you are single or not: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.

For me, the languages I NEED most are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch.

Because of that I freely give them...I love to tell people how much I love them and support them and I meant it each and every time.  And I'm a hugger and kisser...you are gonna get hugged whether you like it or not with me....

What I don't need to be given to me is Acts of Service and Gifts...but when they are given to me, I really do appreciate it.  Funny thing is that I love to do acts of service and I love to GIVE gifts.  And I always appreciate Quality Time because I freely give it.

But I DO need words of affirmation from those I love...it was a problem in my marriage and the man who wins my heart (and hopefully drives a big ass truck...still holding out for that) will be one who gives me those words of affirmation...and his physical touch will be one that sends a thrill through me each and every time.  It's not about "that" (you know what I mean...but yeah that's good too)...it's the holding of a hand when walking in a parking lot...or a kiss because dinner tastes great...or rubbing my back while we watch tv...those little touches...

So I speak all 5 love languages...I give freely of each...

I'm a giver...I love to give little gifts and big ones...I love to listen for 5 minutes or 5 hours when a friend needs me to...I love to help out when someone needs a hand.

And in return I have amazing friends...

If you get what you give...well then I get a whole lot...not because I'm so great...it's just that I chose to love freely and give freely...and in return I get a lot...

Inspiration Song: "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals.  It's a great song...I have always loved it...not really a song about giving but it's still good...

Bye Darlings...today I am giving you a blog...because I have to celebrate my Malibu Barbie...you should all be as lucky as me to have a Dragon Lady in your life that knows you so well that she gets you the perfect gift...I love you friends...and I love you Dragon Lady!!!!