Monday, December 12, 2016

What's New Pussycat

Hi darlings...

I am really bombarding you with blogs these days but they are so theraputic to me that I just sit down at the keyboard and start to write.

Two weeks ago, right now at 9:41 as I write this blog, I was in surgery.

It took Dr. Rockstar 5 hours to get my pesky uterus out and all those lymph nodes.

Aunt Jane says she was exhausted when she came into the room at midnight to tell her about the surgery.

Like I said---Dr. Rockstar is a badass...

And in those two weeks my life has turned upside down and so much has changed.

I'm learning new words and lingo:

uterine papillary serous carcinoma---that's what I have

ok that one is super hard to pronounce so I work on it daily...because if I can say it I can own it and I can make it my bitch and I will conquer it...

Other lingo:

cold cap or ice cap---what I hope to use to keep my hair.  It is basically a helmet that is super cooled and it restricts blood flow to the scalp to help keep the hair up there.

cold mitts---you can get neuropathy with Taxol so that helps keep my fingers and toes working

Taxol---one of the awful poisons they will put into me...its the one that makes me lose my hair

Carboplatinum---the other chemo drug...it just sounds badass

neuropathy---nerve damage...ugh...

infusions---the nice word for "putting a load of poison into your veins to kill your cancer"...aka "chemo"

Stage 3C---that's what "stage" I am in...because the cancer went into other organs (my ovary) and lymph glands

port---a lovely thing they will put into a vein on my chest near my neck so I don't have to get poked repeatedly by needles...I need it because 2 weeks later I am still green and purple bruised from iv areas from surgery...I think that cute anesthesiologist used a hammer to put them in!

Lovenox---the blood thinner I have to inject into my stomach twice a day for 28 days because I make too many platelets...basically it keeps me from blood clots in my veins, etc...

I also have a whole host of drugs I will have to take and I can't pronounce the names...

And the following words have new meanings...basically it is the word to the power of 10 now:
exhaustion
tired
sleepless
worry
fear

I am soooooooo tired tonight because I went to work for 6 hours today.

it felt so good...until I hit the wall...

I have no pain now.  I'm totally off the pain meds.  The only pain I have is the same old arthritis pain in my knees that I have had for 2 years now...my doc moved offices and they forgot to call in my Rx renewal so today I had no arthritis anti-inflammatory to help me so my body doesn't hurt but my knees hate me.

I've also made some new friends though all of this.  I reached out to a community group on Facebook and I've had several amazing ladies answer my questions and give me advice.  Add them to Beauty and Wonder Woman and CuteCourtney who have all conquered cancer in their own amazing badass ways and I have a whole squad of fabulous women...

I call them "the badass bitches of beating cancer"...

trust me if you ever get cancer these are the gals you want on your side...true #squadgoals with these gals...

Taylor Swift has nothing on me and my squad...she might have supermodels but my squad is made of women who have had to fight for their life...I'll take my squad...

What other fun things are happening to me besides being dead dog tired and bruised like I went 5 rounds with Ronda Rousey in the cage?

My appetite is funky

and oh...here's the fun one...

BRING ON THE HOT FLASHES!!!!!

"Alex I will take what is the worst thing about menopause for $1000 please"

Answer: What is hot flashes

My a/c is running at 72 and I have two fans on me.

But then I will suddenly get so cold I have to run to turn on the heater...

and then I get hot again.

But mostly I am hot...

I am a constant sweaty mess and the cats don't help because they love to pile around me on my temperpedic mattress so its a hot mess in my bed...

I miss being sweaty because I just had a killer workout...not because of my nonexistent ovaries regulating my thermostat...

I miss working out something fierce...I keep the class schedule for Revolution on my computer in defiance of the fact I have to wait four more weeks...mark your calendars people because January 9 I will be back on the bike...

no.matter.what.

I am thirsty a lot...so JayVee got me a super awesome insulated cup that is a Yeti knockoff but works better than a Yeti...and is 1/4 of the price...that cup never leaves my side...

but then it makes me constantly have to pee...and I am up to pee about 3 times each night...

I am trying to stay strong and get ready for the fight I face before me...I am trying to be rested and eat right so I can go into chemo with as much health as I can muster up in this cancer tinged body...

and one thing that really helps is humor...

So I am adding a video to this blog so you can have a good laugh.  KuteKaren and SuperSarah and I laughed so hard at it one night we cried.  There is no real video...just John Mulaney talking.  It is just about the funniest standup routine I have ever heard.

Warning: he says some very bad words...

Warning; you will not stop laughing...

I'm giving you two links...hopefully one will work.  If it doesn't just go to YouTube and put in "John Mulaney Salt and Pepper Diner"...trust me on this...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjyXvuPfUVE

https://youtu.be/vjyXvuPfUVE

oh I hope that link works...

So there you go...my new life these days...full of hot flashes, emotional ups and downs, and a feeling of not being in control of my own life...

But it is my life...

and I will fight with all I have to keep it...and my hair...I wanna keep my hair...

ok, let John make you laugh...it's the best thing ever...

Inspiration song: "What's New Pussycat" by Tom Jones.  You have to watch the video to know exactly why...and besides, I actually love that song...

Bye Darlings...what's new with you?  Let me know....it's not all about me you know...and feel free to share my blogs...I want as many people as possible to learn from my journey...






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