Wednesday, March 30, 2011


Ok, my darlings...

I have a lot going on in my life right now...

Some of you know what it is...some of you don't.

Some of you who read this are strangers to me. I mean, I don't know anyone in Singapore or the UK but it shows up as a traffic source on my "stats" for the blog audience.

It's pretty cool that perfect strangers read this.

So where do I do I tell you what is going on without getting TOO personal.

Now you are laughing...I mean, I get pretty darn personal here. I've discussed my feelings about being fat and I have told you I bought thongs at Victoria's Secret. That is pretty darn personal.

But this next thing is...well, I wish I was announcing that I am going to be a guest on Oprah (I love you, Oprah...make my wish come true---have me as a guest and have Vera Wang make me a dress to show myself off in!!!!).

But I'm not...

So here it is...

I'm getting divorced.

Some of you know this already. For some it will a shock or surprise.

I'm not going to blog about why or what happened in my marriage to lead to this. It's been a long time coming. He's a good man. We just aren't a couple anymore and haven't been for a long time. The kids are fine with it and understand.

I'd rather have a good divorce than a bad marriage.

And, as I said to my kids, we will be a family still---just not a married one.


Some of you might wonder if my weight loss led to this decision.

Yes, and no...

Yes in that I feel better about myself so my confidence is I have the confidence to do what I need to do to make my life better.

And "no" in that just because I am thin now I'm not thinking I am ready to take on a world of new men...and no, I don't plan on becoming Houston's newest "cougar"...

I plan on just figuring out who I am at this point in my life and learning to be a real grown-up on my own...

I know one thing I don't have to figure to live a healthy life and take care of my body.

And I'm a great mom so even if my kids aren't with me and they are with their dad, I can still take care of them.

Don't be sad for glad for me...

More later, my darlings...for now read the lyrics to my inspiration is what keeps me going...

Inspiration Song: "Feel" by Robbie of my very favorite it so the's like my personal song...

Bye sure to feel your life too..I know I am...and I love you...


Come on hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given

I sit and talk to God
and He just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand

I just wanna feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins, going to waste

I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her

I scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming

I just wanna feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins, going to waste

And I need to feel
Real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up

I just wanna feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins, going to waste

I just wanna feel real love
IN a life ever after, there's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given

Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Working for the Weekend

I love Sundays...especially when I can be lazy.

Today was one of those lazy sort of Sundays...I slept late, skipped my early bike ride, got some work done on the computer (emails, team mom stuff) and then headed to the club for my favorite class of the week (taught by my girl JayVee)----Express Spin and Body Pump.

I love that class...I love having a mid-day Sunday class to look forward to and blast the calories away...and then JayVee and I get to sit and have our Sunday visit and solve the worlds problems.

What would I do without her?

Then I headed to the grocery store, came home, worked on some art history stuff (I teach this Friday---hard lesson: Lautrec, Klimt, Munch)and then actually READ A MAGAZINE after getting the chicken roasting in the oven.

Pretty boring day....

I love it...

because I crave boring Sundays like this.

The Sundays of my childhood were similar...maybe that's why I like Sundays...but for some reason I hated them as a child. They seemed boring...and they meant that school was the next day.

Now Saturdays, well, when you are a kid there is nothing better than Saturdays.

First of all, you had cartoons...

I mean, REAL cartoons...not what passes for cartoons these days.

Roadrunner and Bugs Bunny
Scooby Doo
Super Friends
Josie and the Pussy Cats
Jackson 5 (remember they had that? Osmonds too)
Fat Albert (Hey Hey's Fat Albert...)

and then there were all those weird Sid and Marty Kroft shows...with all the big puppets:
Banana Splits
Sigmund and the Sea Monsters
H R Puffenstuff (although that came on on Sundays where I lived)
Land of the Lost (Sleestaks!)

And then there were all of the "live" super hero shows...they were my favorites:
Electra Woman and Dyna Girl
Isis (Oh Mighty Isis!)
Rick Springfield (I had to look this one up...Mission Magic? all I know is that HE was in it)

So you would watch your shows and then head outside and spend the day playing. If it was summer, well then I lived in the pool. I would stay in the pool until my toes bled.

Then night meant more tv...and I still believe it was the best night in television ever:
Mary Tyler Moore Show (best episode: Chuckles Bites the up: the last show)
Bob Newhart Show
and then...
drumroll please...
the best show ever (except for I Love Lucy):

OMG---do you remember her in the curtains as Scarlett? Or when she would do the Queen? Or Eunice (best skit ever: the one where Tim Conway did the elephant and they all lost it). Or any time Tim Conway and Harvey Korman would do a sketch together. I lived for that show...and to this day if I see it...I pee a little cause I laugh so hard...I dare you not to...


when I was little we always had to go for a ride on the ranch...I found out later it was my mother's way to sleep in and get rid of us for a few hours and make Daddy deal with us...she was a genius.

I hated those car rides but I loved when we came back into town and went to C&N drive in for lunch and had steak fingers...and sugar in a paper tube.

Now if it was winter we had dinner at King's Inn.

And if you have never eaten at King's Inn...well, I just feel sorry for you...

But if it was summer....well, I blogged about that one mom and her friends by the pool tanning themselves while they wore their curlers (and smoked and drank), my dad and friends playing shuffleboard and Peyton cooking burgers and hot dogs.

Best. Days. Ever.

I'm sorry that I didn't start that tradition when my kids were younger.

So I have decided that this summer, since I actually have a body that I will put a bathing suit on in front of people (but not a bikini...we have been over that...but maybe after the "mommy lift")I think I will actually have some Sunday pool parties...come on over if you are in town...

my only rule: don't splash me.

and bring beer...

I can't wait...

Inspiration Song: "Working for the Weekend" by Loverboy...I really hate the song but it works...

Bye for the's just 5 days away...

Friday, March 25, 2011


OMG...I wore the dress...

You know...THE dress...the one that was my "dream"...

my "goal" dress...

for those of you who are new to this....or haven't read my last 1000 blogs, when I started my weight loss journey one of my big goals was to wear a certain dress.

A dress that belonged to my mother that I refused to wear once when she asked me to. I chickened out...but not this time.

It was the one-shouldered Vera Wang cocktail, short, and with a sheer (very sexy) back.

I bought some seriously dangerous heels to wear with it...Precious was afraid I was going to hurt myself in them...but I didn't.

So the dress...well, it has been my obsession. So much so that Dimples now knows who Vera Wang is.

Every time I wanted to give up...or not go to an exercise class...or eat the wrong thing...or wimp out in training...I would think about the dress.

Fantasize about the dress...

Because when you are a 24 (or 26)and the dress is an is a fantasy.

but I would imagine myself in the dress and walking into the party and feeling really good.


I remember pulling it from my mother's closet after she died and telling my aunt I was going to wear it...and her hoping and believing I would...

sadly I do not have a good photo of me in the dress...I have a very bad photo of me in it taken with my phone...and it makes me look like I have weird tan lines...but it is just a reflection...and my eyes are red...

but I will post it here anyway and when I get the good shots from the photographer I will post those...

here goes...

bad photo...

I really hate the glare on my chest that makes me look sunburned and weirdly tanned but it is what it is...

so I had a busy week teaching and then dealing with the last night I fluffed up the hair, put on the proper undergarments, and threw on the dress and the sexy heels and headed to the party...

I walked in and made Bacchus and another teacher friend say VERY NICE THINGS to me about how I looked. One of them was very preoccupied by how I was going to stay on my feet in those crazy shoes but I assured him I could do it.

He said "well I certainly couldn't"

to which I replied: "it would be weird if you are a man"...

he laughed and then said "don't fall"

I didn't fall all night.

and I was blessed to have my wonderful friends tell me how proud they were of me...and I am lucky I have such great friends to share things with...

The party was a blast...and yes, I drank too much wine and ate cheese and some really incredible artichoke dip and some crackers that so are not on my diet but who cares...I still fit in the dress today so I'm not going to fret about it. I confessed to Dimples and I think he was so proud of me that he was in a forgiving mood and just let it go...

When I think back to how stupid and gutsy it was for me to think I could actually pull it off and wear the dress, well...I don't know...because I'm not really so sure how I did it but I have to say that I must have done something right...and I think Dimples may have some witch powers himself that he has gotten me to this size.

When we first started working together I told him "you are basically working to put me into a tiny scrap of black fabric".

Well, he did it...

nah, he doesn't have witch powers...he's just really good at being a personal trainer and helping me...

So once you achieve a goal, you need to set a new one, right?

I still have other losing 22 more pounds (current weight: 167) and being a size 8...

and getting to meet Oprah and have her give me a gown...working on that one...yes, Oprah, I'm right here and I love and admire you!!!!!

So now I have another goal dress...actually 2 of them...both belonged to my is a black knit Gucci (very tight) and the other is a crazy Mugler dress (I wear his perfume so why not one of his dresses?).

I know I can do it...with Dimples help...and your support...and eating right...and exercising...

no magic needed at all...just some sweat...


Inspiration Song: "Abracadabra" by the Steve Miller Band...great song...I love Steve Miller...

bye doesn't take magic...just determination!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Rolling in the Deep

I'm not having an easy week...

Ever have one of those weeks where everything seems to collide?

Where you feel like you have too much to do?

Your outta control?

....yep, that's me here raising my hand...

I had a little breakdown on poor Dimples today. I literally sat down on the bench he wanted me to do step-ups on and started to cry. He wasn't sure what to do so he just listened.

He's amazing...and a good friend...and have I mentioned that I totally love him for it?

Yeah, I thought so...

So poor Dimples is watching me have a breakdown and I just shut down the workout.

We only had 5 minutes left anyway...

He kept everything positive and reminded me that so many things could be worse.

So what has me drowning?

As I prepare to type this and think about it all it really does seem trivial...really, it does...

It's just a really busy week...

I am teaching drama 3 days this week---Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. That in itself if NOT a big deal. I love teaching drama for GOTT when he is gone. Love it.


his computer isn't working...

nor is his telephone...

which wouldn't be that big of a problem except that...

At the end of the week I have a very big event that I am co-chairing with my pal Athenagal. It is the 7th grade Medieval Feast and it is a big deal for the 7th grade class. We have wonderful committee chairs but it is a lot of work and overseeing of stuff.

And chairing an event using only an iPhone is not really a good way to handle things...but I have to since GOTT's computer is busted and his phone isn't working.

And then there is the parent party the night before.

Where I wear the dress...

You know...



A dress that when she died I plucked from her closet and told my Aunt Jane (the best person in the case you missed that) that I was going to wear that dress...someday...

Well, someday is Thursday People!

I gotta wear the damn dress.

So yesterday I go to the lingerie store. Not Victoria's Secret...but a really "we know how to fit you and solve your problems" lingerie store.

I go in with the dress and tell them my story.

They go nuts.

And yes, they helped me figure out what to wear under a one-shouldered dress with a sheer back.

Still a little nervous about it all.

So I bought some killer heels today.

And when I say killer I mean that they are some seriously scary stillettos and they might just kill me...

If I don't drink too much wine I might manage to stay upright in them.

To top it off, Thursday is The Cutest Boy in the World's birthday.

And I've got to be at a darn bless his sweet heart he knows we have to celebrate the next day...

I feel like a crappy mom...

I don't even see how I can bake a birthday cake (his choice: Coca Cola cake)before Saturday.

Now in reality, none of this is very serious or all that much.

And I could be fighting cancer or something more serious.

There is more going on in my life but I'm not quite ready to put it out here on my blog yet. But I will...


I promise...

But for now I need to keep things close.

I'm usually an open book with you. Heck, I even told you about shopping at Victoria's Secret for thongs, but for now this will stay quiet.

But soon...

So for now I feel like I am rolling in the deep...not quite drowning, but definitely treading water...

but I'm halfway there...and it will all work out...and it will all be good.

Thanks for listening...

Inspiration Song: "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele. I am totally obsessed with her voice and this song. Her new album is amazing. But I really really love this song...

Bye Darlings...don't roll in the deep...take a deep breath and swim in it!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Loser Like Me

I've mentioned my obsession with the show "Glee" before, haven't I?

Glee and True Blood---2 shows that never fail to get my to my happy place, but for very different reasons.

So when Glee did a show with original songs, you know I had to use one for my blog, didn't you?

I think the title is perfect...loser like me...

Except I don't think of myself quite in the same terms of "loser" as the song title implies.

I think of it more like losing weight...

I've shared with you how I do what I I have eaten and exercised my way down.

Today's weight: 169.5

Total weight loss to date: 130.5 pounds

Total time: 55 weeks

Go me!

No pills, no surgery, no reality tv show.

Just me, my Dimples (trainer), my "J-girls" (spin instructors), and a whole lotta salmon and My Fit Foods.

I'm coming down to the finish line.

I see it ahead.

And the scary Vera Wang dress?

Well that is in the very very very near future---Thursday night to be exact.

I reminded Dimples of that last week. So on Friday, he texts me the following:

"Vera is on oprah now"

Lest you worry about my Dimples, no the man is NOT into fashion...nor is he gay. He is very very very straight. But poor baby has heard me say "Vera Wang dress" so many times that when the basketball game he was watching ended and Oprah popped on, and he heard Oprah say "Vera Wang", well, he just had to text me and let me know.

And now he knows who Vera is...

She's my fashion idol...and I plan on rocking that dress on Thursday night.

I'm making Precious serve as my "date".

Not a REAL date, but his job is to make sure I drink enough wine to have fun but not so much that I am hungover the next day while I have to run the feast with Athenagal. My job that night is to make sure Bacchus has enough fun at the party but not too much fun since he also has to run the feast. So we are a team...we are taking care of each other.

I also told Precious he has to say lots and lots and lots of complimentary things to me all night about how I look.

He asked me if I was going to give him a script...

that boy knows me too well...

And yes, I might just give him a script.

I need words like:

I also have warned GOTT that he has to do the same.

So after Thursday, and all this stuff with the dress, how am I going to stay motivated?

Well, here is my plan of attack to keep myself from apathy...

First of all, there is always a possibility that Oprah might call...and she might have Vera make me a dress to show myself never know, miracles can happen!

And then there is summer...because for the first time in a very long time I might actually not feel horrible shame at wearing a bathing suit in public. Now you won't be catching me in a bikini because, after all, I don't look like a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition model, but at least now I won't have to wear a 3X...but I will be able to wear a cute suit.

Another motivation is clothes...I'm really enjoying my old and new wardrobe. I kept some of my old skinny clothes and it is fun to pull them out and try them on and see I can wear them again. And some of them I have decided have seen better days...

and the new stuff? Oh, that is some good fun. Heck I am even having fun buying undergarments! I love having pretty things to put on and wear. I love having cute dresses...and yes, the flippy little skirts...and I love summer and spring clothing.

And the shoes...oh, how I am loving the shoes!!!! I love wearing heels again...stilletos, wedges, high heels, pumps, boots, you name it. I might even spring for a pair of killer designer heels before it is all said and done. Christian Louboutin, anyone?

And then there is the motivation to just achieve the goal I set. To get to the destination. To cross that finish line.

But then comes the really hard part...staying there.

Because it is very easy to slip into old habits.

So I am making a plan of attack.

I know I will weigh myself daily. It's just a habit I am in and it appeals to my OCD to check it. But I will also put great stock into how I look and feel.

I also am planning on some surgery.

You don't go from being super plus-sized to fit and trim without some damage. And I have a lot of damage. Because even though I have done this slowly and correctly, skin is skin...and it won't shrink back...not at my age and not at what I stretched it out to be.

So I have to have a tummy tuck. And while the surgeon is fixing that I'm going to let him work a bit on the...ahem...tatas to make them look less like deflated water balloons.

I hear this surgery hurts like heck.

I think that will be motivation to keep me from undoing the good the plastic surgeon will do.

OK, so I will share another photo with you...this one isn't great but at least I have makeup on and my hair is fixed.


Here goes...

So how can this apply to you, my darling readers?

How can you be a loser like me?

My advice is:
set a goal
set small goals to help you get there
(the above courtesy of Dimples, the best trainer in the world)
reward yourself with things that show off your hard work
be proud of yourself enough to fix damage if you have done it
find things you like and enjoy doing (exercise wise) so you will keep doing them
eat lots and lots of fruits and veggies
do not eat bread, pasta, or potatoes
drink tons of water
cut back on the alcohol
avoid sugar and processed foods
don't eat corn or corn products (again, a Dimples thing)
learn to love fish and salmon
before you "blow it", decide if eating it is really worth the exercise you will have to do to undo the damage...
ask your friends to help and support you
wear something pretty and sexy at least once a week to make you feel good...even if it is just your underwear!
don't kick yourself if you blow it...and don't keep blowing it because you blew it once
get your arse back into the gym if you have been away for more than a few days---only excuse is surgery of some kind!
no one ever lost weight by wishing it have to work at it...period.

Inspiration Song: "Loser Like Me"---Glee original song that is awesome...

Bye a loser like me!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

With a Little Help From My Friends


I did it...

I jumped off the cliff!

No, really...I did...





Ok, so I'm never gonna get asked to be on there, but I thought "what the hell" and did it.

Actually, my high school "bestie"...let's call her AngelAmy...cause she's an angel to me...


AngelAmy writes me and tells me that Oprah is looking for people who have lost over 100 pounds.

Woo-hoo! That's me!

Hey, Oprah! Lookit me! yes me! I'm the chick that blogs about you...

I love you, Oprah...

Me, here! Lookit me!

And you don't have to get me the Vera Wang gown...but I would really really really like it. I would so love to twirl about on your stage in a Vera...

So AngelAmy tells me to apply...and so I did...

Cause I usually agree to her ideas...even (mumble) years after high school.

So I made Ke$ha Barbie take a photo of me to send to Oprah.

Do you want to see it?

It is a terrbile photo...I have no make up on...I just had finished spin class...I'm not even wearing shoes...I'm a mess...but it is what it is...

Here goes: that is today's photo...I'm officially down 127.5 pounds today.

So there I am...a big hot mess...

I promise to post a better photo soon...maybe when I wear "the dress" know the Vera cocktail number that I am wearing in one week and one day...


As I filled out the "Oprah" form, I just linked them to this blog...I figure if they want to know me, they should read this blog.

But now I'm thinking that I might be able to get a little help from my friends...

So here is my evil plan to get on the Oprah show so I can meet her...since I didn't get to meet her the one time I was within a mile of her in the Sandton Mall in Johannesburg, South Africa...

YOU, yes YOU my readers are going to tell her about me...

Or rather, if you are so inclined.

Here's the link...and yes, it will take a bit of effort on your part...but if you fill out the form and say you read my blog maybe her producers will take notice and call me.

Here's the link:

If that doesn't link you, copy and paste it into your browser...or just go to and click on "be on the show" and then "incredible weight loss stories"...

Tell her I have lost 127.5 pounds...
that I blog...
that I blog about her...
that all my blogs are titled after songs on my iPod...
that I am crazy...

Well, maybe you should skip the crazy part...

But, if you are so inclined...maybe it will get me noticed...

And I can meet Oprah!

I will know that doncha?

I will blubber like a baby...and maybe I will get the Vera gown...

Or meet Carson Kressley!!!!!

Or meet Vera again!

Or just bask in the presence of...the almighty Oprah!!!!!!!!!!!!

And maybe I can take Dimples with me and the whole world will see that he is the best trainer ever...and that he has really awesome dimples...and he is a sweetheart...and he has changed my life...and I am blessed to call him not just "someone who helps me" but "friend"...and I am a lucky girl for that...because I get by with a little help from my friend...

Now I realize that there is no way, no how I am gonna get a call from her producers...but it was fun thinking about it.

So anyway...that's what I did today...I did spin class (with J'taime Jamie!!!!!) and I applied to be on the Oprah show.

Not much else accomomplished...but hey, what the heck...I applied to Oprah...

I think that is pretty big!

And maybe...with a little help from my friends...I might get Oprah (or her producers) to notice me...

Notice me, Oprah!

I love love love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a more serious note, I want you all to know that your love and support means the world to me and without you I could never have accomplished this. I would not be the woman I am without my friends. My friends are everything to me and you are my family. I cannot imagine my life without a single one of you. You literally support me...and yes, I get by with a little help from my friends...

And some of you are more than are my lifeline...

Inspiration Song: "With a Little Help From My Friends" the one and only of the most awesome songs ever...

lyrics below...because despite the part about getting "high", it is realy great...and without my friends I would never have been able to do this.

Bye Darlings...get by with a little help from YOUR friends...

With a Little Help from My the Beatles...
What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm,I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna to try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I just need someone to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Ooh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends

Monday, March 14, 2011


Strange title for a blog...

But that is how I am feeling right now...a little derezzed.

Now I am not sure what Daft Punk means by "Derezzed" when they wrote the song for Tron:Legacy but in my book "derezzed" means...

out of whack

Which is what I am...

It started the other day with a little errand I ran with my fabulous girlfriend Athenagal.

We were to meet a couple of gals at company that specializes in big party props. Athenagal and I are chairing the 7th grade Medieval Feast and so the decorations chairman wanted us to see all the castle props, etc. she was picking out.

I knew where the warehouse was...or thought I did.

So Athenagal and I had breakfast together and headed out...and while on Post Oak we pass the place where I think the warehouse is.

Now thanks to super iPhone technology...

we got ourselves into trouble.

Because in the "old days" when you just had a phone, and not one that handles emails as well, you would have just used the phone to call the company and ask "where are you located?".

But we had iPhones so Athenagal says she will look on the email from the decorations gal and it has the address.

Little did we know...

the address was...

you guessed it...


So she plugs the (wrong) address into the GPS of her phone and we start in another direction...taking us to downtown Houston.

Our exit was...


So we had to go all the way downtown and then loop around...time is eating away at us...

We spend about 20 minutes getting to the address only to discover it was...

an elementary school...

so Athenagal looks again at the email and discovers that although the listed address was wrong, the decorations gal says it is "off Post Oak"...

which is where we originally were...

Athenagal felt stupid for not reading the email all the way...I felt stupid for not calling...and we both had a great laugh...

of course the entrance we needed to the freeway was closed and we made another loop around.

So we finally got to the warehouse...50 minutes late...and they were done.

We missed bootcamp for that?

There was a silver lining....I got to spend some fun quality time with Athenagal and Dimples gave us a personal training workout that kicked know...

So Friday was all out of whack.


Then I really derezzed Friday night by splitting 3, yes, count 'em 3, bottles of red wine with my good friend K. Her husband helped...a little.

Big time derezzed...

It is a miracle that I got up at 7 and made it to body pump and spin...but I did...I had to rid my body of the toxins from the crushed and fermented grape juice.

Sunday started out funky because of the change from daylight savings time...which I love...because I love summer and spring and hate fall and winter. But the time change always affects my body clock.

I spent the rest of the day Sunday setting up my new Mac computer (went with the it...using it now!) and cleaning up my desk.

So today I decided to un-derezz my house and do some spring cleaning.

I started in the kitchen.

Cleaning out the cabinets and everything in them.

Do I really need a fondue pot?

or a juicer?

or little metal tubes that bake bread into the shape of a heart?

I'm keeping them...but why?

I got the pots and pans and the "equipment" (fondue pots, blenders, etc.) cabinets done and then my ADD got the best of me and I decided to move on to my bathroom.

Cleaned up the countertop there.

The closet is still a work in progress but it is going to get more attention tomorrow.

My family is going to go to Rockport...I'm staying home to clean (without people to get in my way) and work on costumes for the spring musical.

Dimples is gone until Thursday and I already turned into a slacker today and skipped working out...although I think I kept pretty busy with the kitchen. And tomorrow is Spinderella so I am not missing my workout.

And to get un-derezzed...or would that be "rezzed"?

Because right now

Derezzed is what I am...

But I'm getting settled...and I will fill you in on more later...promise!

Inspiration Song: "Derezzed" by Daft Punk from the "Tron:Legacy" soundtrack. Fun little song that I often use to start my early morning words, just a driving punk!

Bye Darlings...don't get derezzed!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Climb

I totally can't believe that I have named a blog after a Miley Cyrus song...but there is a reason for it.

And she didn't write it...just sang it...and frankly there is a better version out there that I will tell you about at the end of the blog.


The climb...

How many times can I really write about my struggles with the weight and the weight loss and getting in shape and yada yada yada?

But, and I hope I am right about this, I think that may be part of the reason (some) of you read this blog. To know you aren't the only one struggling with things.

I have a very dear friend who is having some struggles now and the other day I had a chance to visit with her and tried to be a shoulder for her to cry on. As we discussed what was going on in her life I tried to find an analogy that might help her...and then it came to me...


She's on a mountain. She had to get up there some way. She did not take a gondola or ski lift up...she climbed it...and I did the same thing with my life and my weight. We climbed.

It wasn't put on us...we did it bit by bit and step by step.

Have you ever climbed a mountain? Or a hill? or a bunch of stairs?

Sometimes you set on the path to go up without knowing are just walking and suddenly you are on an incline and you just keep going are going...

You don't just keep climbing.

Now if you are lucky, you are climbing a good mountain and you are enjoying yourself and the climb up there is good and the path is good and you have good footing and good shoes on and you are ready for it and you want it.

But sometimes you climb that mountain hoping to find something better...and you have to keep climbing because you don't see the "better" you are looking for...and maybe you have on flip flops and no water and you aren't prepared.

But you keep on climbing because you aren't sure how to stop or how to get down. So you keep climbing.

And at some point, you have to stop...either because you are at the top or because you are just flat out of breath and energy.

Now if you are me, and afraid of heights, once you stop climbing it forces you to pay attention to where you are and yikes! You are waaaaaay high up there and you don't know how the hell you got were just going on a little walk. And damn! You have flip flops on and they are slick on the bottom.

And you realize...

You want off the mountain.

That is where my friend is.

That is where I was a year ago.

I looked at myself and realized I didn't want to be that girl any more.

I wanted off the mountain.

So here's the part that seems tricky but is really do you get down off the mountain?

Because you are on a damn mountain.

You want fast...get it over with...right away. But there are no gondonlas or chair lifts to ride you down so you have to do it on your own.

For me the gondolas and chair lifts would be pills or surgery.

So you look around the mountain and see a path...that leads to a cliff.

Well, that is no good.

Jumping off a cliff...not recommended.

You could really get hurt...not safe...bad idea.

So you look around some more and you realize that the only way down off that mountain is...

the way you came up

and that is...


so you start back down the step at time...carefully going...descending with care.

No most people would flip this little analogy of mine...say that losing weight or whatever your struggle is hard and it is like going up hill.

But I don't think so...because I found myself on that mountain without realizing I had climbed it. I was big fat 300 pound girl who climbed the mountain without knowing it.

I guess for me looking at it that way makes sense because I always find going up easier than coming down because when I go up I am looking ahead and I'm working against gravity but it is helping me.

When I come down from a climb, or down stairs...I'm always slow and careful. Something about descent scares me.

I don't know why...

But for me, going down is harder.

So I guess that is why I look at it that way...I was up high on a mountain and found myself panicking as to how I was going to come down.

And the best way was the slow and deliberate path.

One foot in front of the other.
(one day at a time with the diet and exercise)

Careful not to tumble.
(trying not to cheat, or skip workout)

Making choices about where I put my foot so I don't fall
(making sure I have options for eating at home and out)

trying to stay on the path so I am safe
(if I stick to my plan I am doing right)

not trying to rush it...taking small steps
(I didn't give up everything at once...I took it one step at a time)

and now...

I see the bottom of the mountain.

It's in my sight...before it was a just a vision...but now it is real.

I see it there in front of me...I just need to keep doing what I did until I get there.

And for you, my darlings, it is the same...just know that you can do it...and you can get there.

And yes, we are all going to keep climbing and facing moutains...there is always going to be another in our path.

The trick is knowing how to GET DOWN...

And I have a moutain, well, a little hill in my path...Dimples is on vacation for a few days...not sure I can handle it but I'm gonna try...hahahaha...poor darling needs a break...and I am part of what he needs a break from for sure....

song lyrics at the bottom...they are pretty good words...and yes, this song is about climbing the mountain...but I think it still applies to what I am saying here...

Inspiration Song: "The Climb"...yes, Miley sings it. But if you want to hear it sung really really really well, go to iTunes and plug in "Claire Fowler the Climb" and get her version. Superior. Much better. Claire is the daughter of a childhood friend, but that isn't why I recommend her version...I recommend it because it beats the hell out of Miley's and you can appreciate what a good song it is.

Bye darlings...come down off the mountain...slowly and carefully so you don't hurt yourself!


I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
[ From : ]

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'm Alright

Today I taught 8th grade math.

Actually that is an oxymoron.

Saying "I taught" and "math" in the same sentence is the oxymoron.

Because I am a moron about math.

So I didn't really TEACH per se, it was more like high-level babysitting. Because I cannot teach math.

I warned the kids that I was not going to be able to help them with the work the teacher had assigned them to do. I couldn't make heads or tails out of the Algebra.

I also warned them if I even TRIED to help them that they would likely not get into the high school of their choice because I would teach them something wrong and they would mess up on an admissions test.

So I did the next best thing...

I bribed them with candy to behave and do their work.

The candy trick worked...mostly...

But the bigger challenge was sitting next to the candy and not eating it. Especially the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Because I love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

I mean I really really really love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

In my fat days I would have eaten half a bag by myself and would have been popping them like chips at a Mexican restaurant.

But I didn't eat, not one...not one little cup.

THAT was a victory...because that was math I could do---too many calories and so not worth it.

Lest you think I am far too virtuous, I will share with you, darlings, that I did indulge in 1/2 of a Crave lemon cupcake.

THAT was worth all the calories and fat...and I am so happy I split it with my girlfriend because had I had a whole one in my hand, well, it would have all been over...and that cupcake would have been gone gone gone.

And yes, I confessed my sin to Dimples...he made fun of me...I told him "too bad...I don't was worth it"...he's gonna punish me good tomorrow.

So back to me...and the teaching math day...

I substitute teach at my son's school. It is an Episcopalian day school that is a K-8. No high school. As my son is in 7th grade, I have one more year of him there and then I won't know what to do with myself because I love that school so much. It is has been a part of my life for 14 years.

Because it is an Episcopalian school, and today was Ash Wednesday, we went to chapel to receive our ashes and have communion.

It takes a while to do that so I had a lot of time sitting in chapel to think about my life, my journey, and to offer prayers of thanksgiving for how my life has changed.

I thanked God for His sacrifices for us all...and for helping me to stay on the path that I am on and to help me continue. And for giving me strength when I felt weak, and for not letting me give up.

I felt very very very blessed sitting in church.

I felt blessed to be in the church.
I felt blessed to be among those children.
I felt blessed to be among the teachers.
I felt blessed to have my son at that school.
I felt blessed to have Father Bob put ashes on me and give me communion.
I felt blessed to see GOTT across the church...because I love him.
I felt blessed to have Dimples in my life.
I felt blessed to have my J-girls in my life.
I felt blessed to have my friends in my life.
I felt blessed to have all those kids who call me "Mama D" in my life.
I felt blessed to be able to do a spin class and kill it.
I felt blessed to be at a weight loss total of 125 pounds.
I felt blessed to know that I can work out like a mad woman.
I felt blessed to be wearing a size "M" skirt and stillettos.
I felt blessed to know that I looked GOOD in said skirt and shoes.
I felt blessed to have you read this blog.
I felt blessed to know that God loves me...

I could add up my blessings---that is math I can do---but it would have taken longer than the service.

Suffice it to say that I feel overly blessed and not deserving of it all.

But God doesn't work that way...he blesses us all.

And I realized...I'm alright...I'm good...things are ok for me...and I am blessed...

My life has changed and continues to change...and I'm going to be alright.

Even if I eat a cupcake.

Inspiration Song: one of my all-time favorites from one of my all-time favorite comedies..."I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins from the Caddyshack soundtrack. I can still see the little gopher dancing...and sometimes I feel like that little gopher.

Bye Darlings...I'm should be too..count your blessings.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Ballroom Blitz

Ah...Lacrosse season has started and is in full swing.

I have come to love lacrosse...even though I still don't understand one single thing about the game. I am trying to learn...

Last year I wrote a blog (not on this blog site) about my complete and utter lack of understanding of the game of lacrosse.

Because I am lazy, I am basically going to copy it here...but add a bit to it...edit it...update it...but not much has changed about my understanding of the sport since I first wrote it a year ago...

So here is me vs. lacrosse...

What the heck is this sport called lacrosse?

It's not like other not only has its own rules and lingo, it has its own culture (and strange wardrobe)! This was not clear to me until Ke$ha Barbie came home and told me that she didn't want her brother to become a "LAX Bro".

"What is a LAX Bro?" I asked.

"Oh, they are the dudes (yes, she said DUDES) that play lacrosse and think that lacrosse is the greatest sport ever invented." She then went on to explain that they have a "look"---most have longish hair (the better to wave out behind the helmet), preppy clothes, and all they do is talk about lacrosse and use the lacrosse lingo. Frankly I thought that was what a "preppy" was---polo shirts and prep school sports---but apparently this goes one step seems that they are not terribly nice to the girls (at least at her high school), but rather looking for the "hottest chick" to hang on their arm and come cheer them on until they find a prettier/cuter/"hotter" girl in the stands to romance via...TEXT MESSAGE...

She used the word "tool"...I don't want to know what that means if it is anything other than something you can buy at Lowe's but I think I have a pretty good idea...and from what I understand now, it seems that the various traits of the lax bros varies by geographic region...I won't even try and figure that out.

Thank goodness her boyfriend is a motocross guy...and I can't believe I just typed/said that...he is also an Eagle Scout.

So this conversation got me thinking:


(yes, at the time I thought it in all caps with exclamation points)

I know nothing about this sport. Football I can somewhat understand. After all, I was the only cheerleader on my squad who could tell if our team was offense or defense when we were playing at a school that didn't have the little football light up on the scoreboard next to the name of the school that had possession (yes, I do know a couple of football words) of the ball. Perhaps this is my only achievement in understanding football (we have the ball=offense), but it wasn't alien and foreign to me and I had heard the words and lingo before. And now that I have a football coach that is also a personal trainer as MY trainer, I am learning all kinds of football lingo like "depth chart" and "left tackle"...thank you, Dimples...

When my son decided to wrestle I knew I was entering a new world...very strange sport, wrestling is (wow, that makes me sound like Yoda), but although I could not understand one thing that was happening on the mat, and could never tell what gets you points, I did know that it was hand-to-hand combat and it only took a few (very long) minutes...and that they wear a leotard to do it...You want it to end and end quickly...your son is out there fighting another boy...something we send them to detention for doing unless they are wearing a very strange-looking leotard thing and are grappling each other on a mat...

very. strange. sport.

So my son then selects as his 3rd sport to play at middle school---Lacrosse. Maybe it is the fact he is an Aries and although I don't attribute anything to astrological signs and what they supposedly say about you, I did find it ironic that my boy is born under the sign of a RAM. As in a sheep that wants to RAM things...hit things...

How about track? Let's do that...that's what I thought when he started playing lacrosse last year...track I would have preferred...

I get running, I just don't do it myself...not since my orthopedic guy informed me that I can only run short distances lest I risk my knees.

I like my knees so I think I will skip running...

But no, he picks the sport that the coach tells us from the get-go that the boys will be hurt and beat up and must wear the dreaded...cup...

How about track? Let's do that...that kept running through my mind...

that mantra ran through my mind ALL last year...

Football is violent...sorry guys, but it is. The sole purpose is to hit each other while some guy runs the ball down the field trying not to get hit. Wrestling is combat on a "I am a guy and I will beat the @$#% out of you" level...but LAX is a sport not unlike hockey where your bruises and scars are like some badge of courage.

I remember my cousins, who all attended East-coast boarding schools where lacrosse has been played since the beginning of time, showing up to our family reunions with new scars...all the result of some violent thing called "lacrosse". I'm pretty sure they didn't wear all the padding, etc. that they wear least I hope that is the reason I remember those scars and broken bones and knocked out teeth...

How about track? Let's do that...

So I decide to look on the internet and find some rules and explanation of the sport. Ke$ha Barbie did not play girl's lacrosse. She ran TRACK in middle school...

And in the ultimate act of irony...she now plays lacrosse...never played before but as a junior in high school she joined the JV girls lax team because she needed a PE credit...and her best friend wouldn't do dodge ball with her (and yes, they give PE credit for dodge ball at her high school) so they decided to join the "no-cut" JV team...

How about track? Let's do that...

over and over in my brain until the season got running last year...

So I find the rules, etc. about lacrosse. And I tried to make sense of them.

Last year I asked Precious and Adorable History Teacher about it---he went to a prep school so I figured that even though he was a baseball and football player he may have had some exposure to it. The man is a coach (a LAX coach at that) and a very fine teacher, but once I asked him to explain it to me I decided I was better off letting him tell me that there was some culture called "Kush" (he teaches 6th grade ancient history) that I never heard about in all my schooling, than to ask a guy who understands and "gets" sports as a whole to tell me about it. I am "sport stupid" and bless his heart, I am amazed he didn't fire me as a parent as he tried to explain a sport to me.

So he (Precious) goes and grabs a marker and takes me to the white board in his classroom and starts drawing "x's" and "o's" on the board and starts in explaining the game to me. I almost burst into tears of frustration...about the time he said something about a "crease" I must have gotten an extremely confused look on my face and he just gave up.

He literally looked at me, reached out and hugged me and said:

"why don't you watch a few games and we will try this again"...

I wish I could tell you that after watching an entire season of lacrosse that I have a better understanding of the game but I don't, but I do know what the crease is. And this year Precious is The Cutest Boy in the World's coach so as I stand on the sidelines taking photos and I hear him yell things like "wheel! wheel!" I just keep looking in the viewfinder of my camera and pray that once I look at my photos I might understand what I am taking photos of.

I have a college education. From a good school (and yes, you UT people, A&M is just as good as your mecca of orange and white). But I don't get this sport. I still have no idea what any of it is about. I get that you put a ball in the net and the goalie tries to stop kids both played soccer and my daughter played the female equivalent so LAX (field hockey...girls LAX is way tamer). I get the "ball in the goal" thing. But it is all this other stuff? There is a whole dictionary devoted to lacrosse terms:

I don't understand most of them...

How about track? Let's do that...

I tried in vain to figure it out last year...I almost decided to pay some 8th grade boy to sit next to me and explain the game to me as I watch. I really wanted to know what the crease is and why the attacker can't enter it...thankfully this year, I do know what the crease is...but not why the attacker can't enter it...

But we got through the season, and I did learn a few other things---like the goalie can leave the goal and score...but most of it is still very foreign and strange to me.

But, weirdly, I really like the game...and Dimples will not be happy to hear that at all...sorry, Baby!

So this year our season started and the boys have won 2 games. Precious and Adorable History Teacher is the coach. I am the team mom (a deal we struck last year...because I am the worlds best team mom and I love Precious so he got me...).

And in another act of irony---I am the boys lacrosse equipment manager for the school. Yes, I am in charge of helmets and shoulder pads...and I used my witch powers to obtain the boys some practice jerseys...and now I have 4 men really grateful to me and happy for my witch powers...

I'm trying to learn the sport, so that I can understand how that equipment is used...but mostly I still just take photos and get the concession stuff ready and take it out on the golf cart.

Now about me and that golf cart...

Before the first game I was struck with terror that I was going to have to get the cart out of the shed and drive it. Last year I almost turned it over the one time I drove it so I was a little afraid to try again.

I expressed my fears to Coach Supersweet...while the darling 8th grade coach is watching this with a bemused expression on his face. 8th grade coach likes's the practice jersey thing...but I think he also thinks I am nuts (which I am...but shhhh...don't tell...)

I tell Coach Supersweet and Coach Darling (8th grade coach...guess I will name him too if I mention him more than once in this blog)that I am afraid I will overturn the golf cart and that I am afraid to drive it.

Coach Supersweet tells me it is like riding a horse after you fall off...I just need to get back on.

Coach Darling contines to look bemused and a bit confused by this whole conversation...

So off I go and I get that darn golf cart...

And I drove it like Danica Patrick...

Me and the golf cart...we are friends now.

Although I did make Precious put it back in the shed for me...there are limits to my witch powers and my golf cart driving abilities.

So LAX season is here...I'm pumped...let's see how much blood we can get from the kids...

and as for track...I'm glad we aren't doing that...

I like lacrosse...(sorry Dimples---I like football too)...


Inspiration Song: "The Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet...because watching lax is like a ballroom blitz...and I couldn't come up with anything else that fit...

Bye Darlings...go and learn about something new...for me it is lacrosse...

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Bring Me to Life

I know...I know...I've gotten lazy with my blogging...

I'm about to get a new VERY OWN I can call "my own" I won't have to share and compete to use the one I currently use.

Thinking about a Mac...

Trying to decide between a desktop and laptop...opinions welcome!

So...I have waited a year for this blog.

This particular blog.

The one that marks one year on my weight loss journey.

One year that I used to change my life.

So I have---I have changed my life.

For the better.

I decided a year ago that I couldn't live like I was living.

Didn't want to be the fat chick anymore.

Wanted to be "in shape" and healthy...

Didn't want to be a size 24. Very happy to be a size 10 now.

Didn't want weight loss surgery.

Didn't want to go on meds for my cholesterol and blood pressure.

I don't need them now...not needed at all...

Didn't want diabetes...not a problem these days.

My weight loss goal was 150 pounds.

In a year...

OK, that was a stupid goal...pretty difficult to do...safely...

At my one year mark: 123 pounds lost

I can live with that...

27 more to go...maybe a few more...who knows...I'll let my body tell me when I am where I need to be.

Last night I texted Dimples while I was in Old Navy. I grabbed 2 was a size 12...the other was a 10. I thought I would just torture myself with the 10.

Into the dressing room I go and I grab a skirt without looking at the tag and take it off the hanger and put it on.

OK...not too tight...not bad...pretty cute in fact.

I look down at the other skirt that was laying on the seat in the dressing room.

That one was the 12...I was wearing the 10.

So I did a little happy dance around the dressing room and then texted Dimples who, although he was deep into editing game film from his select football team game, still took the time to congratulate me and be proud.

I totally love him...

A year ago I couldn't fathom shopping at a "normal" store. I could only find clothing at the plus-sized stores...or in the plus-sized sections. I was a size 24.

Last night I put on a 10 and had room...

Don't get me wrong...this has not been an easy road to travel.

It has been hard.

It has been very very hard.


It has so been worth it.

I said last summer I wanted to wear flippy little skirts with sandals.

Last Thursday I went to a luncheon where my Precious and Adorable History Teacher friend received an award...and I wore a flippy little skirt and some scary shoes.

It felt awesome.

Here's something not so awesome...the next day, on Friday, when I was teaching Art a la Carte, and wearing a flippy little filmy dress and boots...I took a tumble.

In front of the kids.

The room was dark and I had been looking into the smart board (like looking into an HD tv) and I turned to walk away so another mom could teach her part of the lesson and...


I tripped over the stage in the classroom.

Yes, Bacchus has a stage in his classroom. And it is painted black. Just so I could trip over it.

Now had I done that a year ago I am pretty sure the building would have shook.

But all that happened to me was that I hit the deck. Thanks to all the push-ups Dimples makes me do, I was able to catch myself with my hands and save my face.

Thank you Dimples...

So I stopped myself from ruining my face and popped right back up with my hands in the air and screamed "I'm ok!"...

The kids cracked up.

My one consolation is that Bacchus had already done the same thing.

I let GOTT have a great laugh over it.

And thank one saw "London or France" (my underpants). The dress kept everything covered.

Thank goodness...

I bought some very cute heels yesterday. Heels I would not have been able to squeeze my foot into last year. Heels that would not have supported my hefty weight.

These heels are dangerous.

I am so wearing them this week...

And then I did something I never ever thought I would do...

I bought...

a bikini

Now that bikini will never be seen by anyone but the is for tanning when I am alone in the backyard.

And no lectures about the dangers of tanning. I know it is dangerous. But tanned toned legs look so much nicer than pasty white ones.

And no, I will never ever post a photo of myself in that bikini.

Like I and the cat...

So what did this journey of a year do for me besides losing weigth, improving my fitness, and improving my health?

Well, it brought me to life.

It has given me back my life.

I now can do things I never thought I could. I now have energy. I now feel really really good.

And it feels really really good to feel so good.

I feel that I have been brought back from the dead. I had allowed myself to turn away from so much. I had become numb to feeling good about myself and to caring about it. I had turned my back on feeling pretty, feeling attractive, feeling sexy, feeling special.

I let myself forget that it feels good to feel good!

But now I have my life back...and there is no stopping me now...

Inspiration Song: "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence...awesome that is always on my workout playlist.

Lyrics are down below...I feel many of them...and I sing it...

Bye Darlings...allow yourelf to be brought back to life...

Bring Me To Life lyrics
Songwriters: Hodges, David; Lee, Amy; Moody, Ben;

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)
[ From: ]

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything

Without thought, without voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Help I'm Alive

Oooooo...I haven't blogged in a while...did you miss me?

I think some of you were very worried about me...and some of you may have wondered if I was still alive and well...

Well, I am...

Been busy...been busy...trying to get my stuff in mom stuff, Medieval Feast chairman stuff, Art A la Carte (art history) teacher stuff, costume designer stuff...

Just stuff...

I've had other "stuff" to handle to but right now I'm not ready to blog about that so you will just have to wait...soon enough...soon enough...

So update on me:

FINALLY got the MRI results...all good! ALL GOOD! No tears to cartilege or ligaments...just a bad strain...

No surgery!

NO SURGERY!!!!!!!!!!!

No stoppin' my workout...

Just relaxin a little on the runnin'...

I am soooooo happy! Dimples was pleased...but he said all along he didn't think I had a tear...

So my weight...

THIS is good...

I'm down to 177...

GO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can wear a 12...even a 10 or two and the 14's are too big.

Popped on my black "Lucy" (from the store) pants and grey "wife beater" tank and had 3 friends not readily recognize me...LOVE THAT...

Even had a coach or two glance a little longer...

not bad...

LOVE THAT too...

I think I looked a little like trailer park trash myself...all I was missing was the bra straps showing, a lit cigarette, and a beer...and yes, I can call myself trailer park trash because I once lived in a double-wide...

What else...

I've been doing a 5-day a week bootcamp with Dimples...he's been working it off me daily...and it's all good...and several friends have joined me and are doing great!

GO DIMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday we went for a train and run through Memorial Park just to mix it up a bit.


except that I hate to run...

But we run the trails and take small breaks to do some strength work. It really is an amazing workout and it is a nice fun change-up from our usual stuff.

Except for one thing (besides the running part)...

Tree roots...

yes, they are the bane of our existance...because they are everywhere when you are running a trail. Dimples almost ate the trail the other day and I had 4 narrow misses yesterday.

I keep looking down to watch for them but my feet don't always cooperate.

What else...

Oh yeah...I've been riding my bike every morning.

Love that...

I get up at 5:45 and am on the bike by 6:00 so I can have a quick 30 minute ride before breakfast. It's all part of Dimples plan and it really seems to be working to get the pounds off and re-shape me. I enjoy the peace of the morning and my music.

What I don't enjoy...


Tree branches

uneven sidewalks


dark is getting light outside and I just ride on the street as much a I can even though I am supposed to be on the "hike and bike trail" (i.e. sidewalk).

Dimples and I are going to ride on Friday...let's see if we can avoid a divorce now that I have my dual platform pedals and not just the clip things.

What else...

Lacrosse season has started...woo hoo! I like lacrosse...or "lax" as some call it...I understand football a little better...lax looks like organized chaos to me.

Both of my kids are playing lax this year.

My son loves it...almost as much as football. And his favorite teacher is the coach. They have won 2 out of 2 games.

My daughter is playing for the first time. Seems Ke$ha Barbie needed another PE credit so she and her bestie decided to play lax when the bestie refused to play dodge ball.

Yes, they give PE credit at her high school ball...

So she has never played before...but she is learning...she doesn't expect to be very good at it, although she was a pretty good field hockey and soccer player...but she gets that PE credit out of the way...and I like it that she is doing something active. She's skinny as heck but needs conditioning...

What else...

Oh yeah! Got to see my friend Trainer Girl today! She was trainer at our lax game...she hasn't seen me since November...she was so pumped to see how I have shrunk...and I love sitting with her at games...she's a doll because she really enjoys our boys. We have a good time...and we love to talk about Alexsander Skaarsgard...and she loved it that Dimples (whom she knew as football coach) was my trainer...

What else...

Oh, this is good...I'm teaching math next week. 8th grade. For one day. I use the term "teaching" will be high level babysitting. I don't do that will be a blog in and of itself.

What else...

Well, I have to run...The Cutest Boy in the World needs me to quiz him over science...

So, I know this must be THE MOST BORING BLOG EVER...but now you have an update and I promise to be more amusing and fun next time...

Until then...

Inspiration Song: "Help I'm Alive" by it love it love that band...GREAT song...

Bye Darlings...yes, I am alive...