I Like It (Debarge version)

Hello Darlings,

I'm still in "recovery mode" from what Dimples has inflicted on me...yes, he is still the King of Pain...

Yesterday he made me do the crazy squats again.

This time he got me up to 125 pounds.

Thank goodness it was only for 1 round of 10 squats...he had me work my way up to it and back down to lower weights after.

I'm sure tomorrow will bring more of the same unless we decide to enjoy the lovely weather and leave the gym behind and work out in the park.

The positive to all of this is that I'm back on a losing streak and things are tightening and toning up.

Sadly the loose skin in my belly is not...time to call the surgeon...just don't know when the heck I want to be out of commission for 3 weeks.

or more...

and she (the surgeon) has warned me that I won't be spinning or lifting weights for longer than that.

I know it will all be worth it but the thought of not being in the gym terrifies me.

I still have 10 pounds to go anyway until I am at "goal weight" so I feel ready for the surgery. I don't want to just hit that number, I want to stay there for a bit and let my body settle into that weight so I know it won't go right back up.

But right now I am feeling really good and am pretty happy with how I look. Could be better but when the hot man at the gym said "You look really great" this morning...well, I hope he drives a big ass truck and likes red wine...

I'm missing Oprah fiercely these days...this holiday season I really missed watching her "Favorite Things" show.

So I thought that today I would update you on my latest list of "Favorite Things" and share with you some stuff that I really enjoy or that helps me get through my day.

Now some things were on last years list...and if you want to see last years list look for the blog called "My Favorite Things"...December 20, 2010. They are all still my favorite things.

I still love my Dimples and his training sessions...
I still love red wine (duh...but I have some additions)
I still love salmon
I still love my Riedel wine glasses
I still love George's Pastaria and still think it is by far the best Italian in Houston
etc...

So if I don't mention them again, it's not that I don't still love them...I'm just trying to be Oprah here and give you some new ideas...

Bear in mind that I am a product junkie. My bathroom counter basically looks like a Sephora store. I pity the man who eventually has to live with it all. He better be willing to give me 90% of the counter space or I won't marry him. I'm afraid that some man will walk in and see my counter and run scared...but that won't change me...he's just gonna have to deal with it.

So here are the things that I really, really like these days...

1) Spin Class...just like my training sessions with Dimples, spin class is not work...it is fun. Yes, it is a workout, but it is a FUN workout. If you have not tried a spin class yet I urge you to do so if they offer classes where you workout. Or join a gym that offers spinning. It is a great aerobic workout and for me, with tweeky knees, it doesn't hurt. I have a very very S-L-O-W metabolism...moves at the speed of a glacier...or sloth...but in spin I can burn over 400 calories in an hour. The sad thing is that most of the rest of my friends burn about 700 or so...Give it a try

2) My Clarisonic Mia...I love my little Mia...if you don't know what it is, it is a vibrating brush that scrubs your face. My skin never looked better...it is worth the money...

http://sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P245414&categoryId=C19920

or:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/clarisonic-fuchsia-mia-sonic-cleansing-system/3267479?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=219

many department stores carry it too for the same price

3) My Clarisonic Opal...another great product from the company that brought us the best toothbrush...the Opal basically is supposed to help "force" your eye cream into your eye area. Now I don't know if it does that but what it DOES do is help to reduce the bags under my eyes with the vibrating action massaging the area and helping fluid drain. I could also probably help that with getting more sleep and drinking more water but I do love my gadgets. And yes, it is pricey...

here is the best value I found:

http://www.amazon.com/Clarisonic-Sonic-Infusion-System-Aging/dp/B004VJ56AK

or you can do this...comes with more serum but not sure it is worth the extra $:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/clarisonic-opal-sonic-infusion-system-nordstrom-exclusive-265-value/3236919?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=533

4) Lululemon workout gear....last year I raved on and on about Lucy...and I still love love love Lucy...especially my workout pants...but for cute tops it is lululemon all the way. Lately I have bought some very cute ones and I love the way they wick away sweat and don't stink. I stink but my workout stuff does not. Every time I see someone at the gym with a cute top on it is almost always from lululemon. Their stuff is pretty and lets you feel girly and cute when working out...that is until the sweat starts dripping...

Oh, and if you buy anything in "paris pink" color...watch out...it bleeds...I left body pump with a pink towel...the lululemon website has special instructions on how to wash that stuff.

Another thing I love...their tops come with removable cups so you won't look weird...just ask for them...they are free!

http://shop.lululemon.com/home.jsp

I have this one...was told I was "looking really great" today when wearing it...might just live in it:
http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/women-tanks/Cross-My-Heart-Tank?cc=9895&skuId=3435260&catId=women-tanks

Hot guy at gym makes me glad I have cute workout stuff...just sayin'

5) "They're REAL!" mascara by Benefit.
Best. Mascara. Ever.
I've tried 'em all...trust me I have...from the cheapest drug store brands to the priciest department store brands I have tried them all...and I have the bills and mascara collection to prove it...but this one...amazing...Sephora or Ulta...and it makes your eyes quite lovely when you bat them at men who drive big-ass trucks:

http://sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P289307&categoryId=C10339

6) Red Wine...oh how I love thee...
I've discovered some REALLy good ones and had a few crummy ones (which I still drink). I have discovered I still don't really care for Merlot but I DO like malbec (some) and Pinot Noir (some) and I lurrrrvvv my cabernets and Syrah/Shiraz and blends (depending on the blend). And I have been love love loving zinfandels lately...especially those from Lodi tha are of the "old vine" variety.

Here are my favorites:
Michael David "Rapture"---yummy...perfect...pricey but worth it...
"Earthquake" by Michael David...yeah, I'm a fan...syrah or zinfandel...both are yummy...so is the cabernet...and the petite sirah...yeah...like I said, I'm a fan
Bonterra Cabernet...good for a $10 bottle and organic
Norton Malbec
"The Boxer" by Molly Dooker...Shiraz
"Blue Eyed Boy" by Molly Dooker...Shiraz
"Parlay" don't know the winery...blend...about $16
Klinker Brick Old Vine Zinfandel (if you can find it)

I have more...just can't remember them all!

7)Jeans...I'm loving jeans these days...now that I can finally WEAR jeans. Since I am basically built like a Hobbit or Ooompah Loompah (squatty little thick legs) I have a hard time. ALL jeans are long on me...just a fact. So I have found that I have to shop a little harder for them. I've tried the "Not Your Daughter's Jeans" but they don't work for me...some people swear by them though and they are worth a try. I do a lot better with Citizens of Humanity, 7 for All Mankind, and Lucky Brand Jeans work best for my body. The Lucky's are the best deal...AngelAmy found some at Marshalls the other day for a STEAL. I usually buy mine at the outlet mall but she got as good or better deal at Marshalls. My favorite style is the "Sweet N Low".
The best thing about Lucky Brand? They come in SHORT, REGULAR, and TALL inseams!!!!! (I still have to hem them...sigh).
And the men's jeans are very comfy too...bought some for a friend and he lives in them and swears they are as comfy as pajamas. He asked if I had witch powers since I got them for the same price as Levi's (outlet, thank you very much) and they are so comfy and flattering and fit even better than the Levi's. I told him that I knew how to use pixie dust when I needed to...

Lot's of places to buy them...online (luckybrand.com) but the best deals are at Marshall's, Nordstrom Rack, and the outlet mall (at the Lucky Brand store).

8)My bumpy little circulation stimulator. It is a round little body massager with little nubs on it that get the circulation going. I bought mine at Sephora but I no longer see it on their website. Bliss makes one called the "slimulator". I call it "miracle worker"...you just soap it up and massage away...gets the blood flowing. I swear one reason that I don't have a worse loose skin problem is my religious use of this little tool. Helps with cellulite too...

http://sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?categoryId=C9402&id=P40693

9) Chicken sutffed with jalapeno cornbread or the jalapeno cream cheese stuffed pork tenderloin by La Boucherie. Ok, don't tell Dimples about these cause they are not on the diet...but...my kids love them and if you don't overindulge they aren't as bad as they sound. Here's the best part...they defrost quickly or you can cook them from frozen. The pork loin will defrost in 30 minutes in a cool water bath. You can get them at HEB and at Costco. They are in the frozen section. Delicious!

10) Agave nectar...I love it to sweeten my tea...also love it in a margarita...but it is better for me in the tea...

11) Ok, back to my obsession with the puffiness under my eyes...as much as I love my Clarisonic Opal, I have found a really cheap product that works really well on the puffiness...The Sephora Instant Depuffing roll-on gel. It is in a tube and has little roller balls on the end...squeeze a bit out and use the roller balls to massage away. Feels good...and it works:

http://sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P276324&categoryId=C11724&shouldPaginate=true

12) Again my eye obsession...I also use Peter Thomas Roth Instant FIRMx Eye before I put my makeup on...it works...it firms it up and tightens the area...like a little eye lift in a tube...

http://sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P283106&categoryId=C11721&shouldPaginate=true

13)Isle Pedi Spa...ok, it is a bit pricier than a lot of pedicure places but you can't find a cuter, girlier, and more pampering place than the Voss/Memorial location. They will even give you wine...

Go on a weekend, ask for Sophie, and you will find bliss...worth every penny...my bella Bella loved it and so do I...

http://www.islepedispa.com/
Isle Pedi Spa (Memorial location on Voss)

14) Serge Normant hair products. Last year I spoke of my love for Living Proof products. I still love them and I still use the "full making" shampoo. But the Serge Normant (he is Julia Robert's hair guy) stuff is awesome for styling. I use the dry shampoo as a way to pump up the volume (as do a lot of hairdressers for fashion shows and photo shoots according to Allure magazine) and the Meta Lush Volumizer really does make my hair look fuller and thicker.

http://sephora.com/browse/brand_hierarchy.jhtml?brandId=Serge+Normant

15) Thierry Mugler Angel Perfume. My signature scent. Attracts men and children. Not sure you want both at the same time. The kids I work with at school say they know Mama D is around when they can smell the perfume...and they usually run up and say "Mama D you are the best smelling person!". As for men...all I can say is that they seem to like it...a lot...a lot...

BUT...it is not for everyone. So be sure to get a sample (Nordstrom and Sephora will make you nice sized samples) and see if it works on you. It doesn't work on everyone. I have received several bottles from friends who gave me the bottles they bought for themselves only to find it is not good on them. So try it before you buy it. Trust me on this...do not buy it until you try it and see how it does on you.

16) Just like Oprah I gotta put a car on my list (along with a big ass truck but that one has to come with a pretty and sweet man who will drink red wine with me and hold my hand and bring me lilies and watch Modern Family...but that is HIS car, not mine...so if I could choose one I would choose my friend LovelyLisa's convertable Lexus...I lurrrvvv her car...I want her car....some day I'm gonna get that car. Just have to find a man who drives a big ass truck to pay for it. In the meantime she is always sweetly happy to let me drive it (with the top down!) when we are together. I luuuurrrvvv her even more than her car...but if I could, I would have one just like it...she has great taste...and she works hard for her money and deserves it. We look good when we drive around in it...but I also look good in a big ass truck...just sayin'

Ok, so that is my list for the year...go read last year's list too because all of the items from that list are also still my favorites.

Inspiration Song: "I Like it" by DeBarge...old school...

Bye Darlings....happy shopping...one friend calls me the shopping fairy...that is not a bad title...

King of Pain

Have I shared with you how much I love my trainer I like to call "Dimples"...

yeah...I thought so...

Right now me no likey Dimples...

I usually luuuurrrrvvv him....but today...notsomuch...

Cause he has a new title:

King of Pain

Yeah, he earned it fair and square.

It's what he did yesterday to me that makes me want to change his name permanently from Dimples to King of Pain. But once the soreness goes away I will probably be happy to call him Dimples again.

But right now...he's King of Pain...

So yesterday before I had my delightful little playdate with my bella Bella, I had a workout with Dimples.

He decided I needed to do some squats with the weight lifting bar.

The REAL DEAL one...you know, the ones that all the grunting guys at the gym use.

or football players...

or dumbass women who listen to their trainers...

Not one on one of those sliding rack things...nope, this one is the one where you get under the bar (thank goodness it was padded) and squat down...lift up...step forward to release it from the little hook things and then go to town on the squats.

We started with 55 pounds because that is what I load my bar up with for Body Pump.

No problem...

I do that for 5 minutes twice a week in Body Pump...that is when I am actually being taught Body Pump and not some archaic aerobics class by some crazy guy that wants me to grapevine with weights in my hands.

So in Body Pump the "tracks" (a song) are usually 5 minutes long and you squat away.

Like I said...no problem...

So I do 10 or so with the 55 pounds on...

So he says "let's do more"...

uh...ok...

so he adds some weight...

I tell him:
"Don't tell me what you put on until I am done"

So I get under the bar and start squatting.

No problemo...

75 pounds...

hmmm....not so bad...

he decides to be cute and loads it again...

I think it was 100...

um...that hurt a little but I managed to do 10 very easily.

He gets a little grin...and yes, flashes the dimples...I remind him not to tell me what it was...

I do 10...not easy but not un-doable...

115

yes, I typed that right...115 freakin' pounds on my back while I squatted...

I was proud and terrified at the same time.

He informs me that a high school boy I know can barely do it but does...

And then the King of Pain makes me do a second round...of 10...

the pad slipped and the dang thing almost fell off but we got it back under control and I finished.

He told me my glutes were gonna talk to me today...

No Baby, they aren't talking...

They are YELLING...

my butt hurts...and it hurts to sit.

Probably didn't help that I did Body Pump again last night (with the 5 minutes of squats with 55 pounds) and drove myself hard on the elliptical before Body Pump and used heavy tension.

Probably didn't help that I did JayVee's awesome spin class today and rode my patootie off...

I think I have mentioned before that wine and Advil are a great combination.

I will use that plan tonight...

and maybe a soak in the tub...with wine...

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I've been here before...with the sore glutes...but that was from me overstretching once because I thought I was a ballerina and all totally bendy.

I mean, I am a ballerina...
in my bathroom...
when no one is looking...

But not a good idea to overstretch and pull your glute muscles.

That took A LOT of advil and wine...and ice...to get over.

This is not a pulled glute. Just sore from working.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

He says we have to "take it to the next level" to get the next bit of weight off and get me to where I want to be.

I totally believe him...even if he is the devil disguised as a really good looking personal trainer.

I don't need ice...just the wine and advil (cause I know that Tylenol will not help and you shouldn't drink and take Tylenol).

I'm just trying to work my big butt off...literally and figuratively.

I have accepted that my a$$ is large...and always will be. When I was working out last week I was talking with a male friend about how people can say things to a kid they never forget.

So I told him this story:
My dad once called me "Crisco". I asked "why?". He said cause I was "fat in the can".

Not nice, Daddy...that makes him the King of Emotional Pain.

He didn't often do things like that but when he did, it cut to the bone.

So I told my friend:
"You know what? He was right. I have a big butt. And now at 47 years old (Good God I just told you my age) I have accepted that I will always have a big butt".

He looks at me and smiles..this very good looking man friend of mine and says:
"There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with your a$$. It's good!"

Awwwww....how sweet...he speaks "woman" well...

Another friend of mine who also speaks woman well said "it's sexy..." when I was complaining to him that I was sore from the squats but want to tone up back there.

They both drive big-ass trucks...

Must be something to it.

Tomorrow he will probably make me do 125...and you know what? As long as some good looking man that drives a big-ass truck says my backside is nice, well...

Then yeah...I will squat with 125.

And love Dimples all the more...

But tonight...he's the King of Pain.

Inspiration Song: "King of Pain" by the Police or is it Sting...or is there a difference?

Bye Darlings...pain is good if it is not an injury...don't let a little pain from working out keep you from taking it to the next level...

Back in the Saddle

So if you are friends with me on facebook and saw my status last week, you know what I did on Saturday...

And for those of you who aren't may facebook friends, or if you didn't see my status...well...I'll tell you...

Last Saturday...

I became certified...

to be...

a...

SPIN INSTRUCTOR!!!

Woo hoo!

Go me...

I think it is the perfect way to celebrate my fitness. I mean, after all, going from being the fat chick who couldn't climb the stairs without losing my breath to the chick who can make everyone in the class lose their breath...

Well, you know, that's just the bomb!

So there you have it.

I can now force my friends to come to my spin class and listen to my crazy music while I make them suffer and sweat.

I think that makes me an awesome friend...

I gotta give a shout-out to a few people who helped me get here...

First and foremost...my Dimples....my sweet Dimples who got me fit enough to do it!

And Trainer Girl...who told me, after I accidently taught a spin class, that I should REALLY teach a spin class.

And JayVee...who told me when the class was and told me I needed to sign up for it and do it!

And J'taime Jamie who always inspires me and supports me!

And AngelAmy who has had my back since high school...and who kindly checked up on me after to make sure I hadn't died and that she still had a friend...

And...oh, I need a good name for this friend...I could call him the Spin King since he teaches spin at the top gym in LA, but he's better than that...and I have known him my whole life...and he inspires me a lot (he inspired the blog "Freedom 90")...so I have to call him...oh heck, he gets a stupid name because he has known me for too long...

TomTom...there ya go...and darling you know who you are...and I am doing a double name because he has twin sons!

So TomTom was my inspiration...and I can't wait to go to LA and take his class! And meet his family...and he's just the best and handsomest guy...so having him support me means the world!

So thank you to my team that got me to want to be back in the saddle all the time!

So I got a little lost on my way to Kingwood for the class but I eventually managed to find my way thanks to my iPhone...so that is one more thank you...thank you to whoever invented the iPhone and the map app!

I get to the YMCA where the instructor certification class is and I see this really cute gal walking in with a spin instructor manual. She asks if I know where to go and I said "no" but assure her we will find it together. We chat a bit and introduce ourselves...her name is...well, I'm gonna call her Spin Angel cause she and I met in spin class and she is also a Pi Phi like me...

So we walk into the class and the instructor calls Spin Angel's first name...and then she says her last name.

The same last name belonging to my brother's best friend...

Bingo...

Small world connection made...it is not a name like "Smith" or "Jones"...

So I ask her if she is married to the bro's bestie and sure enough...

Bingo...

It's a small world after all....(oh, I promise not to name a blog after THAT song)...

So we instantly connect and are excited that we get to do this together!

So class starts and we spend an hour learning how to set up the bikes.

I wish I was joking...

Then we spend an hour and half on the bikes...it was a pretty fun ride but I was ready to get off!!!!

We broke for lunch and did some classroom work. The best part was when we discussed music...cause you know me and my music.

So now I have several members of the class emailing me for music suggestions and playlists...

Woo hoo....

Go me....

Class time ends and we go back for one last awesome ride...one hour...

So needless to say I was one tired little princess after that. I said goodbye to my new friend Spin Angel and I am so glad to have her in my life...

but after that...

I wanted alcohol...and a shower...and my bed....

in that order...

I have my priorities and alcohol comes before the shower...

But no....I had still had a football scrimmage to try my best to blast my way to...so I changed clothes and headed back to my part of town to watch The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW) hit and tackle people...and he even got to run with the ball!

Woo hoo...

Go TCBITW!

So Saturday was a great day...I got to prove to myself that I could turn my life around and no longer be the fat chick that got out of breath just walking and I got to watch my son show me and remind me that determination is what you need...because he is a lot smaller than a lot of the boys he goes up against...but he hits em hard and knocks em down...and he doesn't let them stop him...

So I'm not gonna let anything stop me...

So come and take my class (when i finally start teaching)

If

You

Dare

Inspiration Song: "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith...because back in the saddle is where I like to be...and because I have had one guy offer to let me teach at his gym...and he used to play that song at the start of every spin class when he taught...

Bye Darlings...get back in the saddle and don't let anything stop you!

Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)

Right now I have about a dozen teenagers in my backyard.

Only one of them belongs to me...the rest just think they do.

One of them brought firecrackers...

yes, firecrackers.

I think that is against the law.

Not having them...just shooting them off. Which is what they are doing.

I have told them that if I hear one more go off I will banish them from my property.

Seriously...

So since I am up and making sure that none of them help themselves to my wine or Stoli vodka I thought I would blog about...nothing...but whatever...I'm blogging.

So I will tell you about my weekend. The teenagers being here is a fitting end to it...

Because it was a very good weekend...minus the dozen teenagers and the firecrackers.

So Friday was the first of a two-part celebration of my sister-wife GOTTESS' birthday. We call each other sister-wife because we share GOTT...she's married to him but I'm the "work wife" so there ya go.

So GOTTESS is celebrating the anniversary of her 25th birthday. I won't tell you what anniversary but in any case it is a very fun number and she looks at least 10 years younger than her driver's license shows. GOTTESS is HOT!

So she decides that we need a rock star weekend. So she buys tickets to the Katy Perry concert for her and 5 friends.

And she rents us the Rock Star Suite at the Hotel ZaZa.

OMG

OMG

OMG

We lived and partied like rock stars.

I picked her up to go to the hotel. We both were toting food and wine.

She had been informed by the hotel that outside food and beverages were not welcome at the hotel.

The suite has a full kitchen...

So Lucy has some 'splainin to do as to why there is a kitchen (with a Sub Zero fridge/freezer, cooktop, dishwasher and oven) but no food...

We decided to take our chances and brought in our own snackage.

So we get to the hotel and go up to the suite...OMG...

Here are a few more photos...they don't do it justice...

Suffice it to say that I don't think Elton John would complain.

It was awesome...study, living room, dining room, kitchen (use that useless set of appliances that you can't use), 2 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths.

And a view of downtown that was breathtaking.

And a whole lotta chandeliers....

We squealed like 12 year old girls who had just gotten on an elevator with Justin Bieber...

First order of business...put up the food and put on our suits so we can head to the pool.

SuSu (one of GOTTESS' besties) joined us and we headed down to the pool for some adult beverages and some sun.

(We interrupt this blog for a brief special report...for the last 2 minutes Ke$ha Barbie's car alarm has gone off and any second now I expect the police at my door...between that and firecrackers I'm sure my neighbors hate me...I'm banishing the teenagers).

So back to GOTTESS' celebration...

GOTT joins us...he is our chauffeur for the night...I think we confused every other guest at the pool because we all kept calling him our husband. Our own little version of "Big Love"...

After a few tasty mojitos (I recommend the "blue" version with blackberries and blueberries muddled with the mint) we went upstairs and ate and did the best version of a rush job "let's look hot" that we could...

Here is a photo of me...not very good...sadly does not show the fabulous sparkly shoes I wore (that really killed my feet) or my crazy blue nail polish...I haven't asked the other girls if it is ok to post their photos so you just get me...it was windy...my hair was "meh"...dress rocked tho....

So the world's handsomest and best chauffeur (GOTT) drove us to the concert and was very very very happy he wasn't going with us.

We grabbed a drink and headed to our seats to catch the opening act...

which was...

terrible

I think one of the girls described the girl (her name was Robyn...I pray she isn't your dear friend...please know I'm sure she is very nice but she was not worthy of Katy Perry) as sounding like a cat screaming...or in heat...or both...

or maybe that is just my description...

I tried to block it...suffice it to say I will not be downloading any of her songs.

Thankfully I had enough "adult beverages" in me that I survived it...but just barely.

Finally Katy hit the stage and she totally rocked. She was great.

She was very cute and entertaining and her entire stage looked like a "Candyland" gameboard.

She made about 15 costume changes during one song (Hot & Cold)...I still don't know how she did the last one---glitter cannons went off in front of her and suddenly she was in a new dress.

AS a costume person this totally intrigued me...

So the show was great and once it was over...well, when you have 6 women who have just spent 2 hours looking at a stage full of candy we only had one thing on our minds...

The CRAVE CUPCAKES that were waiting at the suite.

So GOTT shows up to whisk us back to the suite and the cupcakes did a disappearing act.

We were joined there by a few more friends and we stayed up late playing some games and having a grand time.

At 1:30 I decided that I wanted to sleep in my own bed so since I had stopped drinking and was sober and not too tired I drove home and enjoyed my Temperpedic mattress and slept well.

Saturday I ran some errands...

And then I had my little adventure with the pool boys.

If you read my Facebook Status you know what happened...but for those of you in blogland I will repeat:

So topless sunbathing is NOT a good idea. I was laying out, getting my tan nice and even and took off my top. No one was home and no one was coming home. The pool people come on Thurday (so I thought) and it is usually a woman (so I thought) so I thought I was safe.

WRONG

WRONG

WRONG

I had my headphones in and the music was a bit loud. I closed my eyes to enjoy the sun and somewhere between a Manchester Orchestra and Joss Stone song I open my eyes to discover I am not alone.

Yes, the pool boys had arrived.

And they were boys....or at least closer to Ke$ha Barbie's age than mine.

I calmly put my top back on and tried not to die of utter mortification.

I hope they enjoyed the show.

It would have been a better show had I already let Dr. Bonnie Baldwin work her magic so instead they got...well, they got what they got...

So to get over that little lesson in humiliation I decided I better do something to improve my mood so I went and had a great time having a pedicure in the company of AngelAmy and we cooked us a fine dinner on the grill and had a grand time.

Today I got up and went to JayVee's spin and express weights class and was joined by Trainer Girl.

After lunch with JayVee we (me and Trainer Girl) hit the pool and then cooked us up some shrimp on the barbie and settled in to enjoy our show---True Blood. Great show tonight except that we did not have enough shirtless men...if you haven't watched that show it is totally worth getting HBO just to see the men.

And so now I have teenagers making too much noise in my backyard and I'm just trying to not go crazy.

I've got to get up tomorrow and face Dimples and tell him the damage I did...

Oh, and one more thing...

On Saturday I bought a gun...

but that's a whole other story...and blog...

Inspiration Song....well what else could it be? I saw the Katy Perry concert on Friday night so it HAD to be "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)...great song, great show, she's a great little entertainer...

Bye Darlings...party like a rock star any time you can...but don't sunbathe topless unless you are sure the pool boys aren't going to show up...

Just What I Needed

Oh my friends, I've been bad...

Sorta fell off the wagon these last few weeks...

Been indulging in things I shouldn't like:
Chick-fil-A
cheese
pita chips
cookies
chocolate mousse
pasta
sauces
waaaaaay too much Mexican food on Friday night...but it was soooo good

And not eating enough fish and veggies...

I can feel it...and I don't feel good.

So tomorrow I'm back on the program.

I've learned a lesson...I have to live and eat a certain way or my body will rebel.

Lesson learned...

So then what happens today?

Well, it was certainly NOT what I needed.

I was enjoying a great workout with Dimples. Poor man had coached football camp all day and still made time for me. We were at the end of the workout and it was time to run up and down the dreaded hill...

I told him my left knee was bugging me a bit and I was mad at myself for forgetting my little knee brace I wear when it is giving me trouble.

I go up the hill...

and...

pop

And down I go...

Something gave way in this darn knee of mine and I hit the ground and it took the breath out of me.

Dimples said I looked like I had been hit by a sniper.

(OK, that is pretty funny so you can laugh...I did)

When he got to me I was pretty much crying and in a bad place of hurt.

No, this is not what I need...

I do NOT need a knee injury!

I need my workouts. I need to be able to spin. I need to be able to move about.

I NEED TO BE ABLE TO WALK AROUND CAMP WHEN I PICK UP MY SON.

So as I type this I am icing my knee and I have taken the legal limit of Advil and I'm praying that tomorrow I wake up and it isn't hurting.

The timing...sucks...

ARGH!!!!!!!

So here I sit, knee throbbing, and I'm pouting...

There is not much more to say but I ask you all to pray for me and my knee.

Because you can't keep a good girl down...even with a knee injury...but it sure is better without one.

Inspiration Song: "Just What I Needed" by the Cars. Did you know they have a new album out? Sounds just like the old stuff so if you dig the Cars, check it out...

Bye Darlings...I hope you get what you need and not what you don't...

Something to Die For

Does the title scare you a little?

Now what could I talk about that is something to die for (other than the great song I have named this blog for)...

Well, my darlings, if you have read this blog you know I have a few obsessions:

Oprah
shopping
shoes
my trainer and his workouts
spin class with JayVee, Spinderella, and J'taime Jamie
red wine (and let's add Stolichnaya vodka to that...especially in a dirty martini)
working with GOTT and TTG
my children
my children
my children

and then there is another obsession...a love I have...a little crush...

Erik the vampire

oooooohhhhh he is one beautiful man (Alexander Skarsgard who plays him)...and he is one heck of a sexy vampire...read all about him in my old blog last June called "Crush"...

you see, dearies, TRUE BLOOD came back on HBO tonight...my favorite show other than "Glee".

Erik the vampire...now that is something to die for (ok, not literally but definitely figuratively).

So I'm blogging and then I am pouring myself a nice glass of red wine (my "cup of blood" lol) and I"m gonna sit down and enjoy every second of what HBO dishes out to me with that show.

I might even watch it twice.

Trainer Girl is just as obsessed. In fact, that is how our friendship started...we were chatting on the sidelines of a football game (she was the trainer) and we started talking about good looking men and at the same time declared our love of Alexander Skarsgard.

Well, my friends, that is as bonding a moment as two chicks get...

the mutual love of one hot guy...and because I love her I share him with her.

She's out of town right now but starting next week we will have our "True Blood" nights and enjoy the show together so we can squeal with delight every time our beloved hits the screen.

And if ever there was a reason to squeal with delight it is Alexander Skarsgard...with as little clothing as possible...

So for right now, he is my "something to die for".

Some day there will be someone I can squeal over....but for right now I'll stick to letting it be a guy on tv.

Today a friend suggested I write a book...that is a dream of mine.

I told her maybe I would write the white chicks version of "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"...but then that would mean I gotta find someone to get my groove back. In the movie version of that book it was Taye Diggs.

I could get my groove back for Taye Diggs...

or Alexander Skarsgard...

I had a great day today...I went to Galveston to hang out with my Aunt Jane (the best person in the world...go read the blog from last June called "Jane" if you need to know more) and her friend CAT (Cute And Tiny) and Wonder Woman was there...you remember Wonder Woman---she kicked ovarian cancer in the ass so she gets to be Wonder Woman. And Wonder Woman's sister and her kids were there---Jane and I hung out with them in Chicago so it was so fun to see them again. We spent the afternoon in the pool and had a blast...and had a few cocktails. I stopped early enough with the vodka to make sure I could safely drive myself home. We had the most delicious shrimp and grilled corn on the cob...a perfect meal for a summer day.

Thursday I get to go and pick up The Cutest Boy in the World.

Now that is something to die for because I miss the heck out of him and his awesome smile and his deep little voice calling me "mom".

Yes my children are something to die for...

Inspiration Song: "Something to Die For" by the Sounds. Such a good song...some great lyrics...I've copied some below...

From "Something to Die For" by the Sounds:

When something's right, then something is worth to die for
When I feel that something is wrong, then something is worth to fight for

Don't say goodbye, just leave an open door
I wanna hear you say, you give me something to die for

Bye Darlings...we all have something to die for...figuratively...

Love Hurts

So you are looking at that blog title and wondering...

"Is her divorce going badly?"

"Is she regretting her divorce?"

"Does she have someone new in her life that has already broken her heart?"

"Is she missing Oprah so badly that she is in pain?"

The answers are:
no
no
no
and yes...

But what I am REALLY referring to is not my past, present, or future love life or lack thereof, or my terrible sadness over the end of the Oprah show...

and thank goodness for once I am not talking about the great pain dished out by teenage children...

No, I'm talking about my other love life...

My fitness life

Because right now I am in some good old-fashioned I worked my behind off pain...and the scale is not making me happy.

I did spin class 3 days in a row so right now my left knee is letting me know that it is not exactly happy with me...too bad because I plan to spin tomorrow so I hope Advil takes care of it.

And my glutes...do you really want to hear about my glutes?

Well, your gonna...

Cause they hurt...

JayVee and J'taime Jamie dished out some awesome classes this weekend...lots of climbs, lots of jumps, and lots of speed work on the bike.

GOOD calorie burns...

GOOD glute burns...

I thought about sitting on ice packs but I'm not quite that bad off.

And I did body pump 2 days in a row...not recommended but I couldn't help myself...so my chest is in pain from all that pumping...too bad that I can't do enough chest presses to fix what the plastic surgeon is going to need to fix...

So Advil is my drug of choice...I think I will chase it with a bit of wine...you can't do that with Tylenol.

Now about that scale...I'm about ready to throw it out.

I started the week about where I have been living these days...and then it jumped down to a new low...and a real happy place for me...

But just as suddenly it jumped back up...to a not-so-happy place.

Damn...

I don't get it...

And I am terribly frustrated.

I think it is the carbs.

Because I have allowed myself to have a few more carbs...especially the forbidden ones like chips, etc. a little more often these days.

I have decided that I'm ready to transition to a not-so-strict diet because at some point I'm going to need to live my life. And I plan to do so with tortilla chips...and pita chips...and vodka...and beer.

Now the vodka has always been a part of my "I'm having this no matter what you say, Dimples" plan...but I usually avoid beer.

Except for during the summer.

And I found a new beer, thanks to Trainer Girl, that is my new obsession.

It has the best name ever:

MOOSE DROOL

It's made in Montana. That explains the name.

It's a dark beer that has a faintly chocolate and coffee flavor to it.

Yummy...

There is a local bar/restaurant that has tons of beers on tap that serves it. And I found it bottled at Specs. I plan to have it around a lot...

Cause it's some good stuff...

Trainer Girl and I went out on Saturday to the place that serves it.

We decided to tick of Dimples by inviting his girlfriend to join us.

I thought about nicknaming her "Dimples Girl" but she truly deserves her own special name.

She is hot...I mean this girl is as gorgeous as my Dimples is. And she is an engineer.

Did I mention she is hot?

So I'm going to call her Hottie Girl...cause she is...

So me, Trainer Girl (who is also quite hot I might add) and Hottie Girl went out for some Moose Drool the other night and we dished about men...and about poor Dimples.

Bless his heart...all I can say is that he is very lucky to have 3 women who think he is the bomb...and at least one of us loves him at all times...it just depends on WHAT time it is that we do or do not love him.

I love him 23 hours a day...it's the hour that he trains me that the love is questionable.

Hottie Girl loves him all the time...but then again, she is supposed to...she's his girl...

And Trainer girl is on about the same schedule as me...

I was afraid he was going to kill me for corrupting his girlfriend but peace is reigning...

for now...

we'll see what he does when he trains me next time...I might get really punished...

I don't think it was the going out for Moose Drool that might make him mad...it was the shoe shopping BEFORE going out. We each walked out of DSW with a new pair of fierce heels...

and that, my friends, is how you start out an awesome night!

Some day I guess I will write a blog and tell you I have a new man in my life...some day...but not right now...

Right now I have a son, and ex, and a trainer...that's about all I can handle.

But if you want to hear about shoes...or glute pain...well, you have come to the right place.

Inspiration Song: "Love Hurts" by Nazareth...cause right now I hurt...and JayVee served up a wicked climb on the bike to it today...

Bye Darlings...get your hurt on...in a good way...go and exercise!

Second Chance

The school year is coming to a close...I tend to measure my years not in calendar years anymore but rather school years. I've been doing that since Ke$ha Barbie started school.

So now my year is coming to a close...and summer vacation is ahead of me...

so I look back on this past year and I see what I have gained and lost...some of it pounds, some of it baggage...some of it...well some of it was a husband.

The school year started with me having to go to the school and do the day of first aid and CPR training...that was where the head of school announced I had lost 63 pounds to the entire faculty and staff.

EMBARRASSING....

Guess what...I have doubled that number...more than doubled it...yippeeeeeee.....

The school year also started with football.

Now I like football but don't love it...well, maybe I love it when my son plays but otherwise...

notsomuch...

I do love lacrosse...don't ask me why...I still can't figure out that game but there is something about how crazy it is that totally appeals to me...

I think my new ambition should be to become a lax bro...

anyhoo....

so the school year started with football...

That would not be really significant except that football gave me the greatest gift of all...

DIMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see, Dimples, the best trainer in the world and my personal therapist and adopted baby brother, is the bomb...and he was The Cutest Boy In the World's football coach.

A friend of mine who coached one of the other teams introduced me to Dimples. He (my friend) was afraid that we weren't going to get along all that well...

hahahahahahahahahaha....

we get along a little too well...he is not only my personal trainer and therapist but some day he needs to show up in a priest's collar because I confess ALL my sins to him...and some of them he figures out on his own.

We get along just fine...but my friend was afraid that I was going to kill a coach...be it him or his assistant...

all coaches were alive and well at the end of football season.

This same friend did the same thing with the lacrosse coaches...he introduced me and then warned one of them that I possessed witch powers. He warned the poor guy that if he didn't do my bidding I would "make the monkeys fly" (a reference to the Wicked Witch of the West and her flying monkeys). That coach never made me call out the flying monkeys but I did enjoy him fearing me for a bit...but now he loves me...

That's my talent...I get coaches to do my bidding or at least think I am awesome...

Not sure Dimples thinks I am awesome but he SOMETIMES does my bidding...and for some strange reason I do his bidding...

except for jumping jacks...still saying "no" to those...

But I digress...

So football season comes with the start of school and I discover that Dimples is not just the best football coach ever...he is a personal trainer.

So one day we have a conversation that goes like this:

Me: So, what do you do when you aren't coaching football to 7th grade boys?

Dimples: I am a personal trainer.

Me: So, do you train "real" people or just athletes?

Dimples: No, I train real people too...

Me: do you train housewives?

Dimples: yes

Me: Do you want a challenge?

he looked at me with a puzzled look...

Me: I am the challenge...you game?

Poor baby didn't stand a chance...he said yes and I think he regrets and loves it all at the same time...

School year rolled along...I lost weight, my son's football team went undefeated, Dimples started training me and I got fit and lost more weight.

After the holidays I decided to lose 260 more pounds...

in the form of a husband...

So I moved on from a husband but realized that I really had a second chance to live my life...

I have a second chance to find someone to spend my life with...

I have a second chance to keep my body in shape and stay fit and trim and more importantly, stay healthy...

I have a second chance at moving my life forward...

I wish I had a second chance to meet Oprah....but you know what, once might just be enough because it was a dream come true...

I spent the year moving toward my second chance...

So now I have my second chance...a second chance to live a new life...in a better body, with a better frame of mind, with all the good things about my life still intact.

I'm excited to see what next year brings me...because this year has been great!

I know some of you might wonder how I can say things have been great when I am getting divorced but I can assure you it is one of the best things I have ever done...along with Dimples...and I have the greatest kids ever that just keep amazing me day-by-day...

I"v been given a second chance to get it right this time...with my health...with my life...with my love...

And I am damn lucky...

And as for summer vacation...well, that is for laying in the sun and enjoying my kids...and keeping on the path of health and wellness I have maintained this year. I may take a vacation from being "super volunteer" but I won't take a vacation from the rest of it.

And next year...well, I'm not gonna worry about next year...I still have 3 months of fun in the sun to enjoy before that comes about....

So for now...I will be grateful for the second chance I have...and I thank God and all of you for it...

Inspiration Song: "Second Chance" by Peter Bjorn and John...very very very cool song...I have to listen to it every day...really...

Bye Darlings...go and find your second chance...at whatever...

Dream On

Wow...a week has gone by since my last blog...

I guess I have been busier than I thought...

so....

did you miss me?

I've missed blogging...sat down a few times to do it but got distracted or wasn't "feeling it".

But tonight I am...

So what is going on with the shrinking violet these days?

well...first and foremost I must thank you all for the love and support you gave me as I faced the anniversary of my mother's death.

I got through it just fine...in fact, I got through it "pretty good".

I had many times dreamed of being able to get through that day without wanting to cry all day or take to my bed. This year I did it...

I only cried twice...once first thing in the morning when I got up and faced the day. The second time was when I was watching the children rehearsing a scene from "Annie" for their 8th grade musical. They were doing the scene where they sing "Tomorrow"....well, that got the tears to flowing...my mother loved that musical and that song in particular.

But it was cathartic...and I survived it

I went to my workout and did like my mama would want me to...I worked my ass off! Something that a few years ago I wouldn't have dreamed I could do.

Then I hit the grocery store to get stuff to make for dinner for my friend to join me.

And yes...I bought and cooked with butter...more on that later...

Got the groceries home, cleaned up and headed to the store...and yes, I bought a hot dress...bought a couple in fact! Nordstrom Rack is the bomb...it is a dream store...

Met with my lawyer and filed for divorce.

Now that sounded a bit cavalier...but it sorta was.

I mean, these days all your lawyer has to do is file electronically....

People, you can file for divorce over the internet!!!!!!

It's almost too easy....and although I sound a bit flippant now...I did carefully consider the decision to do so.

But I am changing my life and that is part of it.

I"ve dreamed of a new life for myself and although I was married to a great man...he is no longer the man of my dreams.

I came home and fixed dinner.

I decided to do my mama proud and made steak, homemade mac and cheese (Martha Stewart's recipe and yes, it is awesome and yes, it is terribly fattening!), salad, coca cola cake...and green beans (had to have something healthy).

My friend came over...she was a good comfort and we laughed and had a very nice night and I did not shed one tear...

very good...

she left and I went to bed...happy and satisfied that I had not just survived the day but I LIVED it!

Life has been bumping along pretty normally since then until yesterday.

Because yesterday....

I got another OPRAH email.

Seems they want those of us who have lost the weight to send them our "fat" clothes. I kept a few. Not happy things...things to remind me not to be that girl again. So I will send them the clothes.

Now my big challenge is what to wear to the show.

I want to wear my mother's black Gucci knit dress. It is fantastic...tight, knit, sexy, no back, high cut in the front and shows off my shoulders to a "t".

But they (the Oprah show people) say that black doesn't look good in HD.

So now I am considering 2 blue dresses...both are good looking and fit me beautifully.

One is a "9" the other is a size "8"...

I like them both so I have asked my fashionista friend AthenaGal to come over and help me choose. She is the most stylish person I know and I totally trust her judgement.

And I have an awesome pair of shoes to wear with either dress...and you know it is all about the shoes...

So the Oprah producer says that there is a chance some of us could end up on the stage...I want to look good enough for them to single me out for that honor!

So we'll see...I still can't believe that in one week I will be in Chicago to live a dream and see the Oprah show live and in person...

It won't seem real until I am there.

So for now it just seems like a dream...

Just like losing the weight did...

Just like wearing the Vera dress...

Just like applying for the Oprah show (thank you AngelAmy for making me do so and Dimples for making me go...)

Just like moving on with my life as a happier, healthier person...

And I will keep dreaming on....because that is what will move me forward!

Inspiration Song: "Dream On" by Aerosmith...without a doubt one of my favorite songs...

Bye Darlings...dream on...it will move you to do great things!

Abracadabra

OMG...I wore the dress...

You know...THE dress...the one that was my "dream"...

my "goal" dress...

for those of you who are new to this....or haven't read my last 1000 blogs, when I started my weight loss journey one of my big goals was to wear a certain dress.

A dress that belonged to my mother that I refused to wear once when she asked me to. I chickened out...but not this time.

It was the one-shouldered Vera Wang cocktail dress...black, short, and with a sheer (very sexy) back.

I bought some seriously dangerous heels to wear with it...Precious was afraid I was going to hurt myself in them...but I didn't.

So the dress...well, it has been my obsession. So much so that Dimples now knows who Vera Wang is.

Every time I wanted to give up...or not go to an exercise class...or eat the wrong thing...or wimp out in training...I would think about the dress.

Fantasize about the dress...

Because when you are a 24 (or 26)and the dress is an 8...it is a fantasy.

but I would imagine myself in the dress and walking into the party and feeling really good.

THE REALITY WAS BETTER THAN THE FANTASY!!!!

I remember pulling it from my mother's closet after she died and telling my aunt I was going to wear it...and her hoping and believing I would...

sadly I do not have a good photo of me in the dress...I have a very bad photo of me in it taken with my phone...and it makes me look like I have weird tan lines...but it is just a reflection...and my eyes are red...

but I will post it here anyway and when I get the good shots from the photographer I will post those...

here goes...

bad photo...

I really hate the glare on my chest that makes me look sunburned and weirdly tanned but it is what it is...

so I had a busy week teaching and then dealing with the feast...so last night I fluffed up the hair, put on the proper undergarments, and threw on the dress and the sexy heels and headed to the party...

I walked in and made Bacchus and another teacher friend say VERY NICE THINGS to me about how I looked. One of them was very preoccupied by how I was going to stay on my feet in those crazy shoes but I assured him I could do it.

He said "well I certainly couldn't"

to which I replied: "it would be weird if you could...you are a man"...

he laughed and then said "don't fall"

I didn't fall all night.

and I was blessed to have my wonderful friends tell me how proud they were of me...and I am lucky I have such great friends to share things with...

The party was a blast...and yes, I drank too much wine and ate cheese and some really incredible artichoke dip and some crackers that so are not on my diet but who cares...I still fit in the dress today so I'm not going to fret about it. I confessed to Dimples and I think he was so proud of me that he was in a forgiving mood and just let it go...

When I think back to how stupid and gutsy it was for me to think I could actually pull it off and wear the dress, well...I don't know...because I'm not really so sure how I did it but I have to say that I must have done something right...and I think Dimples may have some witch powers himself that he has gotten me to this size.

When we first started working together I told him "you are basically working to put me into a tiny scrap of black fabric".

Well, he did it...

nah, he doesn't have witch powers...he's just really good at being a personal trainer and helping me...

So once you achieve a goal, you need to set a new one, right?

I still have other goals...like losing 22 more pounds (current weight: 167) and being a size 8...

and getting to meet Oprah and have her give me a gown...working on that one...yes, Oprah, I'm right here and I love and admire you!!!!!

So now I have another goal dress...actually 2 of them...both belonged to my mom...one is a black knit Gucci (very tight) and the other is a crazy Mugler dress (I wear his perfume so why not one of his dresses?).

I know I can do it...with Dimples help...and your support...and eating right...and exercising...

no magic needed at all...just some sweat...

abracadabra...

Inspiration Song: "Abracadabra" by the Steve Miller Band...great song...I love Steve Miller...

bye darlings...it doesn't take magic...just determination!

The Climb

I totally can't believe that I have named a blog after a Miley Cyrus song...but there is a reason for it.

And she didn't write it...just sang it...and frankly there is a better version out there that I will tell you about at the end of the blog.

So...

The climb...

How many times can I really write about my struggles with the weight and the weight loss and getting in shape and yada yada yada?

But, and I hope I am right about this, I think that may be part of the reason (some) of you read this blog. To know you aren't the only one struggling with things.

I have a very dear friend who is having some struggles now and the other day I had a chance to visit with her and tried to be a shoulder for her to cry on. As we discussed what was going on in her life I tried to find an analogy that might help her...and then it came to me...

Mountain

She's on a mountain. She had to get up there some way. She did not take a gondola or ski lift up...she climbed it...and I did the same thing with my life and my weight. We climbed.

It wasn't put on us...we did it bit by bit and step by step.

Have you ever climbed a mountain? Or a hill? or a bunch of stairs?

Sometimes you set on the path to go up without knowing it...you are just walking and suddenly you are on an incline and you just keep going because...you are going...

You don't stop...you just keep climbing.

Now if you are lucky, you are climbing a good mountain and you are enjoying yourself and the climb up there is good and the path is good and you have good footing and good shoes on and you are ready for it and you want it.

But sometimes you climb that mountain hoping to find something better...and you have to keep climbing because you don't see the "better" you are looking for...and maybe you have on flip flops and no water and you aren't prepared.

But you keep on climbing because you aren't sure how to stop or how to get down. So you keep climbing.

And at some point, you have to stop...either because you are at the top or because you are just flat out of breath and energy.

Now if you are me, and afraid of heights, once you stop climbing it forces you to pay attention to where you are and yikes! You are waaaaaay high up there and you don't know how the hell you got there...you were just going on a little walk. And damn! You have flip flops on and they are slick on the bottom.

And you realize...

You want off the mountain.

That is where my friend is.

That is where I was a year ago.

I looked at myself and realized I didn't want to be that girl any more.

I wanted off the mountain.

So here's the part that seems tricky but is really simple....how do you get down off the mountain?

Because you are on a damn mountain.

You want fast...get it over with...right away. But there are no gondonlas or chair lifts to ride you down so you have to do it on your own.

For me the gondolas and chair lifts would be pills or surgery.

So you look around the mountain and see a path...that leads to a cliff.

Well, that is no good.

Jumping off a cliff...not recommended.

You could really get hurt...not safe...bad idea.

So you look around some more and you realize that the only way down off that mountain is...

the way you came up

and that is...

ONE STEP AT A TIME

so you start back down the mountain...one step at time...carefully going...descending with care.

No most people would flip this little analogy of mine...say that losing weight or whatever your struggle is hard and it is like going up hill.

But I don't think so...because I found myself on that mountain without realizing I had climbed it. I was there...one big fat 300 pound girl who climbed the mountain without knowing it.

I guess for me looking at it that way makes sense because I always find going up easier than coming down because when I go up I am looking ahead and I'm working against gravity but it is helping me.

When I come down from a climb, or down stairs...I'm always slow and careful. Something about descent scares me.

I don't know why...

But for me, going down is harder.

So I guess that is why I look at it that way...I was up high on a mountain and found myself panicking as to how I was going to come down.

And the best way was the slow and deliberate path.

One foot in front of the other.
(one day at a time with the diet and exercise)

Careful not to slip...to fall...to tumble.
(trying not to cheat, or skip workout)

Making choices about where I put my foot so I don't fall
(making sure I have options for eating at home and out)

trying to stay on the path so I am safe
(if I stick to my plan I am doing right)

not trying to rush it...taking small steps
(I didn't give up everything at once...I took it one step at a time)

and now...

I see the bottom of the mountain.

It's in my sight...before it was a just a vision...but now it is real.

I see it there in front of me...I just need to keep doing what I did until I get there.

And for you, my darlings, it is the same...just know that you can do it...and you can get there.

And yes, we are all going to keep climbing and facing moutains...there is always going to be another in our path.

The trick is knowing how to GET DOWN...

And I have a moutain, well, a little hill in my path...Dimples is on vacation for a few days...not sure I can handle it but I'm gonna try...hahahaha...poor darling needs a break...and I am part of what he needs a break from for sure....

song lyrics at the bottom...they are pretty good words...and yes, this song is about climbing the mountain...but I think it still applies to what I am saying here...

Inspiration Song: "The Climb"...yes, Miley sings it. But if you want to hear it sung really really really well, go to iTunes and plug in "Claire Fowler the Climb" and get her version. Superior. Much better. Claire is the daughter of a childhood friend, but that isn't why I recommend her version...I recommend it because it beats the hell out of Miley's and you can appreciate what a good song it is.

Bye darlings...come down off the mountain...slowly and carefully so you don't hurt yourself!

THE CLIMB

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
[ From : http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/miley-cyrus-lyrics/the-climb-lyrics.html ]

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa


© HOPELESS ROSE MUSIC; VISTAVILLE MUSIC;

I'm Alright

Today I taught 8th grade math.

Actually that is an oxymoron.

Saying "I taught" and "math" in the same sentence is the oxymoron.

Because I am a moron about math.

So I didn't really TEACH per se, it was more like high-level babysitting. Because I cannot teach math.

I warned the kids that I was not going to be able to help them with the work the teacher had assigned them to do. I couldn't make heads or tails out of the Algebra.

I also warned them if I even TRIED to help them that they would likely not get into the high school of their choice because I would teach them something wrong and they would mess up on an admissions test.

So I did the next best thing...

I bribed them with candy to behave and do their work.

The candy trick worked...mostly...

But the bigger challenge was sitting next to the candy and not eating it. Especially the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Because I love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

I mean I really really really love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

In my fat days I would have eaten half a bag by myself and would have been popping them like chips at a Mexican restaurant.

But I didn't eat one...no, not one...not one little cup.

THAT was a victory...because that was math I could do---too many calories and so not worth it.

Lest you think I am far too virtuous, I will share with you, darlings, that I did indulge in 1/2 of a Crave lemon cupcake.

THAT was worth all the calories and fat...and I am so happy I split it with my girlfriend because had I had a whole one in my hand, well, it would have all been over...and that cupcake would have been gone gone gone.

And yes, I confessed my sin to Dimples...he made fun of me...I told him "too bad...I don't care...it was worth it"...he's gonna punish me good tomorrow.

So back to me...and the teaching math day...

I substitute teach at my son's school. It is an Episcopalian day school that is a K-8. No high school. As my son is in 7th grade, I have one more year of him there and then I won't know what to do with myself because I love that school so much. It is has been a part of my life for 14 years.

Because it is an Episcopalian school, and today was Ash Wednesday, we went to chapel to receive our ashes and have communion.

It takes a while to do that so I had a lot of time sitting in chapel to think about my life, my journey, and to offer prayers of thanksgiving for how my life has changed.

I thanked God for His sacrifices for us all...and for helping me to stay on the path that I am on and to help me continue. And for giving me strength when I felt weak, and for not letting me give up.

I felt very very very blessed sitting in church.

I felt blessed to be in the church.
I felt blessed to be among those children.
I felt blessed to be among the teachers.
I felt blessed to have my son at that school.
I felt blessed to have Father Bob put ashes on me and give me communion.
I felt blessed to see GOTT across the church...because I love him.
I felt blessed to have Dimples in my life.
I felt blessed to have my J-girls in my life.
I felt blessed to have my friends in my life.
I felt blessed to have all those kids who call me "Mama D" in my life.
I felt blessed to be able to do a spin class and kill it.
I felt blessed to be at a weight loss total of 125 pounds.
I felt blessed to know that I can work out like a mad woman.
I felt blessed to be wearing a size "M" skirt and stillettos.
I felt blessed to know that I looked GOOD in said skirt and shoes.
I felt blessed to have you read this blog.
I felt blessed to know that God loves me...

I could add up my blessings---that is math I can do---but it would have taken longer than the service.

Suffice it to say that I feel overly blessed and not deserving of it all.

But God doesn't work that way...he blesses us all.

And I realized...I'm alright...I'm good...things are ok for me...and I am blessed...

My life has changed and continues to change...and I'm going to be alright.

Even if I eat a cupcake.

Inspiration Song: one of my all-time favorites from one of my all-time favorite comedies..."I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins from the Caddyshack soundtrack. I can still see the little gopher dancing...and sometimes I feel like that little gopher.

Bye Darlings...I'm alright...you should be too..count your blessings.

The Ballroom Blitz

Ah...Lacrosse season has started and is in full swing.

I have come to love lacrosse...even though I still don't understand one single thing about the game. I am trying to learn...

Last year I wrote a blog (not on this blog site) about my complete and utter lack of understanding of the game of lacrosse.

Because I am lazy, I am basically going to copy it here...but add a bit to it...edit it...update it...but not much has changed about my understanding of the sport since I first wrote it a year ago...

So here goes...here is me vs. lacrosse...

What the heck is this sport called lacrosse?

It's not like other sports...it not only has its own rules and lingo, it has its own culture (and strange wardrobe)! This was not clear to me until Ke$ha Barbie came home and told me that she didn't want her brother to become a "LAX Bro".

"What is a LAX Bro?" I asked.

"Oh, they are the dudes (yes, she said DUDES) that play lacrosse and think that lacrosse is the greatest sport ever invented." She then went on to explain that they have a "look"---most have longish hair (the better to wave out behind the helmet), preppy clothes, and all they do is talk about lacrosse and use the lacrosse lingo. Frankly I thought that was what a "preppy" was---polo shirts and prep school sports---but apparently this goes one step beyond...it seems that they are not terribly nice to the girls (at least at her high school), but rather looking for the "hottest chick" to hang on their arm and come cheer them on until they find a prettier/cuter/"hotter" girl in the stands to romance via...TEXT MESSAGE...

She used the word "tool"...I don't want to know what that means if it is anything other than something you can buy at Lowe's but I think I have a pretty good idea...and from what I understand now, it seems that the various traits of the lax bros varies by geographic region...I won't even try and figure that out.

Thank goodness her boyfriend is a motocross guy...and I can't believe I just typed/said that...he is also an Eagle Scout.

So this conversation got me thinking:

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS SPORT?!?!

(yes, at the time I thought it in all caps with exclamation points)

I know nothing about this sport. Football I can somewhat understand. After all, I was the only cheerleader on my squad who could tell if our team was offense or defense when we were playing at a school that didn't have the little football light up on the scoreboard next to the name of the school that had possession (yes, I do know a couple of football words) of the ball. Perhaps this is my only achievement in understanding football (we have the ball=offense), but it wasn't alien and foreign to me and I had heard the words and lingo before. And now that I have a football coach that is also a personal trainer as MY trainer, I am learning all kinds of football lingo like "depth chart" and "left tackle"...thank you, Dimples...

When my son decided to wrestle I knew I was entering a new world...very strange sport, wrestling is (wow, that makes me sound like Yoda), but although I could not understand one thing that was happening on the mat, and could never tell what gets you points, I did know that it was hand-to-hand combat and it only took a few (very long) minutes...and that they wear a leotard to do it...You want it to end and end quickly...your son is out there fighting another boy...something we send them to detention for doing unless they are wearing a very strange-looking leotard thing and are grappling each other on a mat...

very. strange. sport.

So my son then selects as his 3rd sport to play at middle school---Lacrosse. Maybe it is the fact he is an Aries and although I don't attribute anything to astrological signs and what they supposedly say about you, I did find it ironic that my boy is born under the sign of a RAM. As in a sheep that wants to RAM things...hit things...

How about track? Let's do that...that's what I thought when he started playing lacrosse last year...track I would have preferred...

I get running, I just don't do it myself...not since my orthopedic guy informed me that I can only run short distances lest I risk my knees.

I like my knees so I think I will skip running...

But no, he picks the sport that the coach tells us from the get-go that the boys will be hurt and beat up and must wear the dreaded...cup...

How about track? Let's do that...that kept running through my mind...

that mantra ran through my mind ALL last year...

Football is violent...sorry guys, but it is. The sole purpose is to hit each other while some guy runs the ball down the field trying not to get hit. Wrestling is combat on a "I am a guy and I will beat the @$#% out of you" level...but LAX is a sport not unlike hockey where your bruises and scars are like some badge of courage.

I remember my cousins, who all attended East-coast boarding schools where lacrosse has been played since the beginning of time, showing up to our family reunions with new scars...all the result of some violent thing called "lacrosse". I'm pretty sure they didn't wear all the padding, etc. that they wear now...at least I hope that is the reason I remember those scars and broken bones and knocked out teeth...

How about track? Let's do that...

So I decide to look on the internet and find some rules and explanation of the sport. Ke$ha Barbie did not play girl's lacrosse. She ran TRACK in middle school...

And in the ultimate act of irony...she now plays lacrosse...never played before but as a junior in high school she joined the JV girls lax team because she needed a PE credit...and her best friend wouldn't do dodge ball with her (and yes, they give PE credit for dodge ball at her high school) so they decided to join the "no-cut" JV team...

How about track? Let's do that...

over and over in my brain until the season got running last year...

So I find the rules, etc. about lacrosse. And I tried to make sense of them.

Last year I asked Precious and Adorable History Teacher about it---he went to a prep school so I figured that even though he was a baseball and football player he may have had some exposure to it. The man is a coach (a LAX coach at that) and a very fine teacher, but once I asked him to explain it to me I decided I was better off letting him tell me that there was some culture called "Kush" (he teaches 6th grade ancient history) that I never heard about in all my schooling, than to ask a guy who understands and "gets" sports as a whole to tell me about it. I am "sport stupid" and bless his heart, I am amazed he didn't fire me as a parent as he tried to explain a sport to me.

So he (Precious) goes and grabs a marker and takes me to the white board in his classroom and starts drawing "x's" and "o's" on the board and starts in explaining the game to me. I almost burst into tears of frustration...about the time he said something about a "crease" I must have gotten an extremely confused look on my face and he just gave up.

He literally looked at me, reached out and hugged me and said:

"why don't you watch a few games and we will try this again"...

I wish I could tell you that after watching an entire season of lacrosse that I have a better understanding of the game but I don't, but I do know what the crease is. And this year Precious is The Cutest Boy in the World's coach so as I stand on the sidelines taking photos and I hear him yell things like "wheel! wheel!" I just keep looking in the viewfinder of my camera and pray that once I look at my photos I might understand what I am taking photos of.

I have a college education. From a good school (and yes, you UT people, A&M is just as good as your mecca of orange and white). But I don't get this sport. I still have no idea what any of it is about. I get that you put a ball in the net and the goalie tries to stop you...my kids both played soccer and my daughter played the female equivalent so LAX (field hockey...girls LAX is way tamer). I get the "ball in the goal" thing. But it is all this other stuff? There is a whole dictionary devoted to lacrosse terms:

http://www.e-lacrosse.com/laxicon.html

I don't understand most of them...

How about track? Let's do that...

I tried in vain to figure it out last year...I almost decided to pay some 8th grade boy to sit next to me and explain the game to me as I watch. I really wanted to know what the crease is and why the attacker can't enter it...thankfully this year, I do know what the crease is...but not why the attacker can't enter it...

But we got through the season, and I did learn a few other things---like the goalie can leave the goal and score...but most of it is still very foreign and strange to me.

But, weirdly, I really like the game...and Dimples will not be happy to hear that at all...sorry, Baby!

So this year our season started and the boys have won 2 games. Precious and Adorable History Teacher is the coach. I am the team mom (a deal we struck last year...because I am the worlds best team mom and I love Precious so he got me...).

And in another act of irony---I am the boys lacrosse equipment manager for the school. Yes, I am in charge of helmets and shoulder pads...and I used my witch powers to obtain the boys some practice jerseys...and now I have 4 men really grateful to me and happy for my witch powers...

I'm trying to learn the sport, so that I can understand how that equipment is used...but mostly I still just take photos and get the concession stuff ready and take it out on the golf cart.

Now about me and that golf cart...

Before the first game I was struck with terror that I was going to have to get the cart out of the shed and drive it. Last year I almost turned it over the one time I drove it so I was a little afraid to try again.

I expressed my fears to Coach Supersweet...while the darling 8th grade coach is watching this with a bemused expression on his face. 8th grade coach likes me...it's the practice jersey thing...but I think he also thinks I am nuts (which I am...but shhhh...don't tell...)

I tell Coach Supersweet and Coach Darling (8th grade coach...guess I will name him too if I mention him more than once in this blog)that I am afraid I will overturn the golf cart and that I am afraid to drive it.

Coach Supersweet tells me it is like riding a horse after you fall off...I just need to get back on.

Coach Darling contines to look bemused and a bit confused by this whole conversation...

So off I go and I get that darn golf cart...

And I drove it like Danica Patrick...

Me and the golf cart...we are friends now.

Although I did make Precious put it back in the shed for me...there are limits to my witch powers and my golf cart driving abilities.

So LAX season is here...I'm pumped...let's see how much blood we can get from the kids...

and as for track...I'm glad we aren't doing that...

I like lacrosse...(sorry Dimples---I like football too)...

Go LAX!

Inspiration Song: "The Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet...because watching lax is like a ballroom blitz...and I couldn't come up with anything else that fit...

Bye Darlings...go and learn about something new...for me it is lacrosse...

Bring Me to Life

I know...I know...I've gotten lazy with my blogging...

I'm about to get a new computer...my VERY OWN computer...one I can call "my own"...so I won't have to share and compete to use the one I currently use.

Thinking about a Mac...

Trying to decide between a desktop and laptop...opinions welcome!

So...I have waited a year for this blog.

This particular blog.

The one that marks one year on my weight loss journey.

One year that I used to change my life.

So I have---I have changed my life.

For the better.

I decided a year ago that I couldn't live like I was living.

Didn't want to be the fat chick anymore.

Wanted to be "in shape" and healthy...

Didn't want to be a size 24. Very happy to be a size 10 now.

Didn't want weight loss surgery.

Didn't want to go on meds for my cholesterol and blood pressure.

I don't need them now...not needed at all...

Didn't want diabetes...not a problem these days.

My weight loss goal was 150 pounds.

In a year...

OK, that was a stupid goal...pretty difficult to do...safely...

At my one year mark: 123 pounds lost

I can live with that...

27 more to go...maybe a few more...who knows...I'll let my body tell me when I am where I need to be.

Last night I texted Dimples while I was in Old Navy. I grabbed 2 skirts...one was a size 12...the other was a 10. I thought I would just torture myself with the 10.

Into the dressing room I go and I grab a skirt without looking at the tag and take it off the hanger and put it on.

OK...not too tight...not bad...pretty cute in fact.

I look down at the other skirt that was laying on the seat in the dressing room.

That one was the 12...I was wearing the 10.

So I did a little happy dance around the dressing room and then texted Dimples who, although he was deep into editing game film from his select football team game, still took the time to congratulate me and be proud.

I totally love him...

A year ago I couldn't fathom shopping at a "normal" store. I could only find clothing at the plus-sized stores...or in the plus-sized sections. I was a size 24.

Last night I put on a 10 and had room...

Don't get me wrong...this has not been an easy road to travel.

It has been hard.

It has been very very hard.

But...

It has so been worth it.

I said last summer I wanted to wear flippy little skirts with sandals.

Last Thursday I went to a luncheon where my Precious and Adorable History Teacher friend received an award...and I wore a flippy little skirt and some scary shoes.

It felt awesome.

Here's something not so awesome...the next day, on Friday, when I was teaching Art a la Carte, and wearing a flippy little filmy dress and boots...I took a tumble.

In front of the kids.

The room was dark and I had been looking into the smart board (like looking into an HD tv) and I turned to walk away so another mom could teach her part of the lesson and...

bam...

I tripped over the stage in the classroom.

Yes, Bacchus has a stage in his classroom. And it is painted black. Just so I could trip over it.

Now had I done that a year ago I am pretty sure the building would have shook.

But all that happened to me was that I hit the deck. Thanks to all the push-ups Dimples makes me do, I was able to catch myself with my hands and save my face.

Thank you Dimples...

So I stopped myself from ruining my face and popped right back up with my hands in the air and screamed "I'm ok!"...

The kids cracked up.

My one consolation is that Bacchus had already done the same thing.

I let GOTT have a great laugh over it.

And thank goodness...no one saw "London or France" (my underpants). The dress kept everything covered.

Thank goodness...

I bought some very cute heels yesterday. Heels I would not have been able to squeeze my foot into last year. Heels that would not have supported my hefty weight.

These heels are dangerous.

I am so wearing them this week...

And then I did something I never ever thought I would do...

I bought...

a bikini

Now that bikini will never be seen by anyone but the cat...it is for tanning when I am alone in the backyard.

And no lectures about the dangers of tanning. I know it is dangerous. But tanned toned legs look so much nicer than pasty white ones.

And no, I will never ever post a photo of myself in that bikini.

Like I said...me and the cat...

So what did this journey of a year do for me besides losing weigth, improving my fitness, and improving my health?

Well, it brought me to life.

It has given me back my life.

I now can do things I never thought I could. I now have energy. I now feel really really good.

And it feels really really good to feel so good.

I feel that I have been brought back from the dead. I had allowed myself to turn away from so much. I had become numb to feeling good about myself and to caring about it. I had turned my back on feeling pretty, feeling attractive, feeling sexy, feeling special.

I let myself forget that it feels good to feel good!

But now I have my life back...and there is no stopping me now...

Inspiration Song: "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence...awesome song...one that is always on my workout playlist.

Lyrics are down below...I feel many of them...and I sing it...

Bye Darlings...allow yourelf to be brought back to life...

Bring Me To Life lyrics
Songwriters: Hodges, David; Lee, Amy; Moody, Ben;

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/evanescence-lyrics/bring-me-to-life-lyrics.html ]

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything

Without thought, without voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life