Love Hurts

So you are looking at that blog title and wondering...

"Is her divorce going badly?"

"Is she regretting her divorce?"

"Does she have someone new in her life that has already broken her heart?"

"Is she missing Oprah so badly that she is in pain?"

The answers are:
no
no
no
and yes...

But what I am REALLY referring to is not my past, present, or future love life or lack thereof, or my terrible sadness over the end of the Oprah show...

and thank goodness for once I am not talking about the great pain dished out by teenage children...

No, I'm talking about my other love life...

My fitness life

Because right now I am in some good old-fashioned I worked my behind off pain...and the scale is not making me happy.

I did spin class 3 days in a row so right now my left knee is letting me know that it is not exactly happy with me...too bad because I plan to spin tomorrow so I hope Advil takes care of it.

And my glutes...do you really want to hear about my glutes?

Well, your gonna...

Cause they hurt...

JayVee and J'taime Jamie dished out some awesome classes this weekend...lots of climbs, lots of jumps, and lots of speed work on the bike.

GOOD calorie burns...

GOOD glute burns...

I thought about sitting on ice packs but I'm not quite that bad off.

And I did body pump 2 days in a row...not recommended but I couldn't help myself...so my chest is in pain from all that pumping...too bad that I can't do enough chest presses to fix what the plastic surgeon is going to need to fix...

So Advil is my drug of choice...I think I will chase it with a bit of wine...you can't do that with Tylenol.

Now about that scale...I'm about ready to throw it out.

I started the week about where I have been living these days...and then it jumped down to a new low...and a real happy place for me...

But just as suddenly it jumped back up...to a not-so-happy place.

Damn...

I don't get it...

And I am terribly frustrated.

I think it is the carbs.

Because I have allowed myself to have a few more carbs...especially the forbidden ones like chips, etc. a little more often these days.

I have decided that I'm ready to transition to a not-so-strict diet because at some point I'm going to need to live my life. And I plan to do so with tortilla chips...and pita chips...and vodka...and beer.

Now the vodka has always been a part of my "I'm having this no matter what you say, Dimples" plan...but I usually avoid beer.

Except for during the summer.

And I found a new beer, thanks to Trainer Girl, that is my new obsession.

It has the best name ever:

MOOSE DROOL

It's made in Montana. That explains the name.

It's a dark beer that has a faintly chocolate and coffee flavor to it.

Yummy...

There is a local bar/restaurant that has tons of beers on tap that serves it. And I found it bottled at Specs. I plan to have it around a lot...

Cause it's some good stuff...

Trainer Girl and I went out on Saturday to the place that serves it.

We decided to tick of Dimples by inviting his girlfriend to join us.

I thought about nicknaming her "Dimples Girl" but she truly deserves her own special name.

She is hot...I mean this girl is as gorgeous as my Dimples is. And she is an engineer.

Did I mention she is hot?

So I'm going to call her Hottie Girl...cause she is...

So me, Trainer Girl (who is also quite hot I might add) and Hottie Girl went out for some Moose Drool the other night and we dished about men...and about poor Dimples.

Bless his heart...all I can say is that he is very lucky to have 3 women who think he is the bomb...and at least one of us loves him at all times...it just depends on WHAT time it is that we do or do not love him.

I love him 23 hours a day...it's the hour that he trains me that the love is questionable.

Hottie Girl loves him all the time...but then again, she is supposed to...she's his girl...

And Trainer girl is on about the same schedule as me...

I was afraid he was going to kill me for corrupting his girlfriend but peace is reigning...

for now...

we'll see what he does when he trains me next time...I might get really punished...

I don't think it was the going out for Moose Drool that might make him mad...it was the shoe shopping BEFORE going out. We each walked out of DSW with a new pair of fierce heels...

and that, my friends, is how you start out an awesome night!

Some day I guess I will write a blog and tell you I have a new man in my life...some day...but not right now...

Right now I have a son, and ex, and a trainer...that's about all I can handle.

But if you want to hear about shoes...or glute pain...well, you have come to the right place.

Inspiration Song: "Love Hurts" by Nazareth...cause right now I hurt...and JayVee served up a wicked climb on the bike to it today...

Bye Darlings...get your hurt on...in a good way...go and exercise!

The Climb

I totally can't believe that I have named a blog after a Miley Cyrus song...but there is a reason for it.

And she didn't write it...just sang it...and frankly there is a better version out there that I will tell you about at the end of the blog.

So...

The climb...

How many times can I really write about my struggles with the weight and the weight loss and getting in shape and yada yada yada?

But, and I hope I am right about this, I think that may be part of the reason (some) of you read this blog. To know you aren't the only one struggling with things.

I have a very dear friend who is having some struggles now and the other day I had a chance to visit with her and tried to be a shoulder for her to cry on. As we discussed what was going on in her life I tried to find an analogy that might help her...and then it came to me...

Mountain

She's on a mountain. She had to get up there some way. She did not take a gondola or ski lift up...she climbed it...and I did the same thing with my life and my weight. We climbed.

It wasn't put on us...we did it bit by bit and step by step.

Have you ever climbed a mountain? Or a hill? or a bunch of stairs?

Sometimes you set on the path to go up without knowing it...you are just walking and suddenly you are on an incline and you just keep going because...you are going...

You don't stop...you just keep climbing.

Now if you are lucky, you are climbing a good mountain and you are enjoying yourself and the climb up there is good and the path is good and you have good footing and good shoes on and you are ready for it and you want it.

But sometimes you climb that mountain hoping to find something better...and you have to keep climbing because you don't see the "better" you are looking for...and maybe you have on flip flops and no water and you aren't prepared.

But you keep on climbing because you aren't sure how to stop or how to get down. So you keep climbing.

And at some point, you have to stop...either because you are at the top or because you are just flat out of breath and energy.

Now if you are me, and afraid of heights, once you stop climbing it forces you to pay attention to where you are and yikes! You are waaaaaay high up there and you don't know how the hell you got there...you were just going on a little walk. And damn! You have flip flops on and they are slick on the bottom.

And you realize...

You want off the mountain.

That is where my friend is.

That is where I was a year ago.

I looked at myself and realized I didn't want to be that girl any more.

I wanted off the mountain.

So here's the part that seems tricky but is really simple....how do you get down off the mountain?

Because you are on a damn mountain.

You want fast...get it over with...right away. But there are no gondonlas or chair lifts to ride you down so you have to do it on your own.

For me the gondolas and chair lifts would be pills or surgery.

So you look around the mountain and see a path...that leads to a cliff.

Well, that is no good.

Jumping off a cliff...not recommended.

You could really get hurt...not safe...bad idea.

So you look around some more and you realize that the only way down off that mountain is...

the way you came up

and that is...

ONE STEP AT A TIME

so you start back down the mountain...one step at time...carefully going...descending with care.

No most people would flip this little analogy of mine...say that losing weight or whatever your struggle is hard and it is like going up hill.

But I don't think so...because I found myself on that mountain without realizing I had climbed it. I was there...one big fat 300 pound girl who climbed the mountain without knowing it.

I guess for me looking at it that way makes sense because I always find going up easier than coming down because when I go up I am looking ahead and I'm working against gravity but it is helping me.

When I come down from a climb, or down stairs...I'm always slow and careful. Something about descent scares me.

I don't know why...

But for me, going down is harder.

So I guess that is why I look at it that way...I was up high on a mountain and found myself panicking as to how I was going to come down.

And the best way was the slow and deliberate path.

One foot in front of the other.
(one day at a time with the diet and exercise)

Careful not to slip...to fall...to tumble.
(trying not to cheat, or skip workout)

Making choices about where I put my foot so I don't fall
(making sure I have options for eating at home and out)

trying to stay on the path so I am safe
(if I stick to my plan I am doing right)

not trying to rush it...taking small steps
(I didn't give up everything at once...I took it one step at a time)

and now...

I see the bottom of the mountain.

It's in my sight...before it was a just a vision...but now it is real.

I see it there in front of me...I just need to keep doing what I did until I get there.

And for you, my darlings, it is the same...just know that you can do it...and you can get there.

And yes, we are all going to keep climbing and facing moutains...there is always going to be another in our path.

The trick is knowing how to GET DOWN...

And I have a moutain, well, a little hill in my path...Dimples is on vacation for a few days...not sure I can handle it but I'm gonna try...hahahaha...poor darling needs a break...and I am part of what he needs a break from for sure....

song lyrics at the bottom...they are pretty good words...and yes, this song is about climbing the mountain...but I think it still applies to what I am saying here...

Inspiration Song: "The Climb"...yes, Miley sings it. But if you want to hear it sung really really really well, go to iTunes and plug in "Claire Fowler the Climb" and get her version. Superior. Much better. Claire is the daughter of a childhood friend, but that isn't why I recommend her version...I recommend it because it beats the hell out of Miley's and you can appreciate what a good song it is.

Bye darlings...come down off the mountain...slowly and carefully so you don't hurt yourself!

THE CLIMB

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
[ From : http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/miley-cyrus-lyrics/the-climb-lyrics.html ]

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa


© HOPELESS ROSE MUSIC; VISTAVILLE MUSIC;

I'm Alright

Today I taught 8th grade math.

Actually that is an oxymoron.

Saying "I taught" and "math" in the same sentence is the oxymoron.

Because I am a moron about math.

So I didn't really TEACH per se, it was more like high-level babysitting. Because I cannot teach math.

I warned the kids that I was not going to be able to help them with the work the teacher had assigned them to do. I couldn't make heads or tails out of the Algebra.

I also warned them if I even TRIED to help them that they would likely not get into the high school of their choice because I would teach them something wrong and they would mess up on an admissions test.

So I did the next best thing...

I bribed them with candy to behave and do their work.

The candy trick worked...mostly...

But the bigger challenge was sitting next to the candy and not eating it. Especially the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Because I love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

I mean I really really really love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

In my fat days I would have eaten half a bag by myself and would have been popping them like chips at a Mexican restaurant.

But I didn't eat one...no, not one...not one little cup.

THAT was a victory...because that was math I could do---too many calories and so not worth it.

Lest you think I am far too virtuous, I will share with you, darlings, that I did indulge in 1/2 of a Crave lemon cupcake.

THAT was worth all the calories and fat...and I am so happy I split it with my girlfriend because had I had a whole one in my hand, well, it would have all been over...and that cupcake would have been gone gone gone.

And yes, I confessed my sin to Dimples...he made fun of me...I told him "too bad...I don't care...it was worth it"...he's gonna punish me good tomorrow.

So back to me...and the teaching math day...

I substitute teach at my son's school. It is an Episcopalian day school that is a K-8. No high school. As my son is in 7th grade, I have one more year of him there and then I won't know what to do with myself because I love that school so much. It is has been a part of my life for 14 years.

Because it is an Episcopalian school, and today was Ash Wednesday, we went to chapel to receive our ashes and have communion.

It takes a while to do that so I had a lot of time sitting in chapel to think about my life, my journey, and to offer prayers of thanksgiving for how my life has changed.

I thanked God for His sacrifices for us all...and for helping me to stay on the path that I am on and to help me continue. And for giving me strength when I felt weak, and for not letting me give up.

I felt very very very blessed sitting in church.

I felt blessed to be in the church.
I felt blessed to be among those children.
I felt blessed to be among the teachers.
I felt blessed to have my son at that school.
I felt blessed to have Father Bob put ashes on me and give me communion.
I felt blessed to see GOTT across the church...because I love him.
I felt blessed to have Dimples in my life.
I felt blessed to have my J-girls in my life.
I felt blessed to have my friends in my life.
I felt blessed to have all those kids who call me "Mama D" in my life.
I felt blessed to be able to do a spin class and kill it.
I felt blessed to be at a weight loss total of 125 pounds.
I felt blessed to know that I can work out like a mad woman.
I felt blessed to be wearing a size "M" skirt and stillettos.
I felt blessed to know that I looked GOOD in said skirt and shoes.
I felt blessed to have you read this blog.
I felt blessed to know that God loves me...

I could add up my blessings---that is math I can do---but it would have taken longer than the service.

Suffice it to say that I feel overly blessed and not deserving of it all.

But God doesn't work that way...he blesses us all.

And I realized...I'm alright...I'm good...things are ok for me...and I am blessed...

My life has changed and continues to change...and I'm going to be alright.

Even if I eat a cupcake.

Inspiration Song: one of my all-time favorites from one of my all-time favorite comedies..."I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins from the Caddyshack soundtrack. I can still see the little gopher dancing...and sometimes I feel like that little gopher.

Bye Darlings...I'm alright...you should be too..count your blessings.

Bring Me to Life

I know...I know...I've gotten lazy with my blogging...

I'm about to get a new computer...my VERY OWN computer...one I can call "my own"...so I won't have to share and compete to use the one I currently use.

Thinking about a Mac...

Trying to decide between a desktop and laptop...opinions welcome!

So...I have waited a year for this blog.

This particular blog.

The one that marks one year on my weight loss journey.

One year that I used to change my life.

So I have---I have changed my life.

For the better.

I decided a year ago that I couldn't live like I was living.

Didn't want to be the fat chick anymore.

Wanted to be "in shape" and healthy...

Didn't want to be a size 24. Very happy to be a size 10 now.

Didn't want weight loss surgery.

Didn't want to go on meds for my cholesterol and blood pressure.

I don't need them now...not needed at all...

Didn't want diabetes...not a problem these days.

My weight loss goal was 150 pounds.

In a year...

OK, that was a stupid goal...pretty difficult to do...safely...

At my one year mark: 123 pounds lost

I can live with that...

27 more to go...maybe a few more...who knows...I'll let my body tell me when I am where I need to be.

Last night I texted Dimples while I was in Old Navy. I grabbed 2 skirts...one was a size 12...the other was a 10. I thought I would just torture myself with the 10.

Into the dressing room I go and I grab a skirt without looking at the tag and take it off the hanger and put it on.

OK...not too tight...not bad...pretty cute in fact.

I look down at the other skirt that was laying on the seat in the dressing room.

That one was the 12...I was wearing the 10.

So I did a little happy dance around the dressing room and then texted Dimples who, although he was deep into editing game film from his select football team game, still took the time to congratulate me and be proud.

I totally love him...

A year ago I couldn't fathom shopping at a "normal" store. I could only find clothing at the plus-sized stores...or in the plus-sized sections. I was a size 24.

Last night I put on a 10 and had room...

Don't get me wrong...this has not been an easy road to travel.

It has been hard.

It has been very very hard.

But...

It has so been worth it.

I said last summer I wanted to wear flippy little skirts with sandals.

Last Thursday I went to a luncheon where my Precious and Adorable History Teacher friend received an award...and I wore a flippy little skirt and some scary shoes.

It felt awesome.

Here's something not so awesome...the next day, on Friday, when I was teaching Art a la Carte, and wearing a flippy little filmy dress and boots...I took a tumble.

In front of the kids.

The room was dark and I had been looking into the smart board (like looking into an HD tv) and I turned to walk away so another mom could teach her part of the lesson and...

bam...

I tripped over the stage in the classroom.

Yes, Bacchus has a stage in his classroom. And it is painted black. Just so I could trip over it.

Now had I done that a year ago I am pretty sure the building would have shook.

But all that happened to me was that I hit the deck. Thanks to all the push-ups Dimples makes me do, I was able to catch myself with my hands and save my face.

Thank you Dimples...

So I stopped myself from ruining my face and popped right back up with my hands in the air and screamed "I'm ok!"...

The kids cracked up.

My one consolation is that Bacchus had already done the same thing.

I let GOTT have a great laugh over it.

And thank goodness...no one saw "London or France" (my underpants). The dress kept everything covered.

Thank goodness...

I bought some very cute heels yesterday. Heels I would not have been able to squeeze my foot into last year. Heels that would not have supported my hefty weight.

These heels are dangerous.

I am so wearing them this week...

And then I did something I never ever thought I would do...

I bought...

a bikini

Now that bikini will never be seen by anyone but the cat...it is for tanning when I am alone in the backyard.

And no lectures about the dangers of tanning. I know it is dangerous. But tanned toned legs look so much nicer than pasty white ones.

And no, I will never ever post a photo of myself in that bikini.

Like I said...me and the cat...

So what did this journey of a year do for me besides losing weigth, improving my fitness, and improving my health?

Well, it brought me to life.

It has given me back my life.

I now can do things I never thought I could. I now have energy. I now feel really really good.

And it feels really really good to feel so good.

I feel that I have been brought back from the dead. I had allowed myself to turn away from so much. I had become numb to feeling good about myself and to caring about it. I had turned my back on feeling pretty, feeling attractive, feeling sexy, feeling special.

I let myself forget that it feels good to feel good!

But now I have my life back...and there is no stopping me now...

Inspiration Song: "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence...awesome song...one that is always on my workout playlist.

Lyrics are down below...I feel many of them...and I sing it...

Bye Darlings...allow yourelf to be brought back to life...

Bring Me To Life lyrics
Songwriters: Hodges, David; Lee, Amy; Moody, Ben;

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/evanescence-lyrics/bring-me-to-life-lyrics.html ]

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything

Without thought, without voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can't wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can't wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life

Bicycle Race

oh, poor Dimples...he has his hands full with me...

I did something stupid and he had to deal with it today.

You see, I seem to think I am Lance Armstrong or something (you know, since I spin and all), because I decided to look like a "real" cyclist and put "clipless pedals" on my bike.

"Clipless Pedals" seems like an oxymoron to me...because you clip into your pedals with special bike shoes that have the clips on them.

Makes no sense to me...

So it made perfect sense to do it to my bike.

I took my bike in to Sun and Ski Sports and told the bike repair guy to fix the cables and put the clipless pedals on.

I never considered that I would have to figure out how to get off and on the bike.

Because a spin bike is stationary, you know...

and a real bike...

is not...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

But I love the way it feels to ride while clipped in so I made the idiot's decision to flirt with death and devestation to my body by putting the clip-in things on.

The first time I attempted to ride like that was the other morning.

I got up early and grabbed the bike and then could't figure out how to get on.

I know how to get on a spin bike...but it doesn't move.

Getting onto a bike that moves is a whole different thing.

So I grabbed onto my car to steady myself and clipped into the right pedal.

The left one was where I hit trouble...and then my hand slid down the side of my car because it was wet from morning dew.

crash

not a bad crash but I did fall over...onto my bum knee...

there was just a little blood

I finally got on and then I hit the road. All was well and good as long as I didn't have to stop. So I rode continually...

When I told Dimples he just looked at me and reminded me that I needed to be able to get on and off the bike.

I told him I could...

(with a little help)

So we decided to go for a ride today.

The idea was that we would ride and then stop and do some strength stuff like work with the TRX strap bands or do push ups or whatever...

The weather was perfect. It was gorgeous outside...great day for a ride.

We decide to go to Memorial Park. I picked him and his bike up and off we went.

Problem #1...me getting on the bike...

Thank God the man is strong and sweet and patient...because I could have killed him while he tried to get me on...I grabbed onto him for dear life until I was safely locked into my pedals...and then I was afraid to let go of him for fear of falling again. We looked like a father with his (very) over-grown child that was trying to learn to ride a bike.

Right then and there he told me that the clipless pedals had to go...not that he minded helping me, but rather that they were a gigantic pain...

in the ass...

(I added the "in the ass" part...he didn't)

So we got going and hit a trail.

Then came the time to stop and do some strength stuff.

Problem #2...bike shoes are not made for walking or working out

We tried...

fail...

Back on the bikes...down the trail...I crash...

the only real casualty was my left thumbnail...I broke the nail...damn...

We then went the other direction in the park...did ok for a while until we eneded up on the jogging track and he had a few people remind him that we weren't supposed to be on the jogging trail...

sigh...

we knew...but it wasn't safe for me to try and cross the street at that point.

He also figured out how to get me off and on the bike without risking bodily harm to himself as he holds the bike for me.

I asked Bacchus how to do it (he rides...a lot...)and his answer was:

"clip in one side and then the other"

Thanks, Baby...that was a lot of help...not...

Somewhere along the way I remembered that at my club we have some things that clip into the pedal clips for the spin bikes that convert the pedals from the kind you HAVE to wear bike shoes with to "regular" pedals that someone with athletic shoes can use.

I'm trying to find them online right now...

so Dimples doesn't kill me or himself...and so we can have a more effective ride.

I want to leave the clipless pedals on because when I am ONLY riding, especially if I am doing a smooth easy trail I like the way it rides...and I know I am more effectively working my legs. And taking the pedals off and on is not easy.

If you know what the clip-in things are called, please email or message me...Dimples thanks you too...because he knows "Miss Stubborn" here is going to want to keep the clips.

Because I am Lance Armstrong...

only prettier...

Inspiration Song: "Bicycle Race" by Queen...ok, reach waaaaay back...back to Queen's "Jazz" album...it spawned a lot of hits. They publicized the album by having 65 naked women do a bicyle race. And then they took a picture of it and put it in the album. Awesome...

Bye Darlings...."get on your bikes and ride"...

Just Push Play

So I had my MRI today.

I think I am becoming a pro at them.

When the guy doing the test asked what was wrong with my left knee (he could see the scars from the surgeries on the right knee) I told him:

"My left knee got jealous that my right knee has gotten all the attention so now it wants equal time..."

Then I went on to explain how I was an idiot for running...

Mind you I sandwiched the MRI between J'taime Jamie's spin class and a workout with my poor darling Dimples who although he was sick and about to cough up a lung still found a way to come out and train me.

He (Dimples) took it easy on me until we know what is going on with the knee. I figure what is done is done...

We played with some new toys today. He made some bands that he wraps around a tree limb and I grab the handles and do various exercises with them (similar to TRX bands).

I also bought a stability ball for us to play with. I refrained from buying a pink one (I thought Dimples might look stupid chasing it around).

He blew it (the stability ball) up yesterday. I had fun bouncing around on it.

Today I got to do push ups, sit-ups and pull-ups on it...I like bouncing around better.

It reminds me of a hippity-hop...remember them?

Once I went to Lake Austin Spa. I went with a group of very fun girlfriends. We took a stability ball class.

The balls at the spa had, for lack of a better word (and Dimples loved this), "teats" on it...you know some long rubber prongs.

They were for keeping the balls from rolling around...nowadays the balls just roll, but this was about 10 years ago when it was a new thing.

So me and the girlfriends go into the room for the class.

The room is darkened. Enya music is playing.

Soothing environment.

I'm not sure which one of us did it first (probably me), but we jumped on the balls, grapped the rubber "teats" (whatever) and began to hop around like we were on hippity hops.

We had a blast.

We worked up a bit of a sweat.

We were bouncing around like 4 year olds.

And then the instructor walked in...

She laughed and claimed that NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE had bounced around on the balls like that until us...

I think she asked if we were drunk.

When we returned again she said "here comes trouble...".

The spa was wonderful, the food was incredible (for spa food), the spa treatments were the bomb, but nothing beat those few minutes that we abandoned our adult selves and became children again bouncing on the balls and laughing until we were crying.

Sometimes, you just need to be a kid.

I turn into a kid a lot during my workouts but I have a feeling that the stability ball will turn me into a toddler.

Maybe that is why I like my workouts with Dimples so much...we play...

He pushes me but he does it in a fun, playful way. He gets my heartrate up and gets me burning the calories but we have a lot of fun while we do it. I think that is what keeps me coming back...that I have fun.

Spin class is the same way. I love my instructors...they are the sweetest...but it is also all about the fun music and we all laugh and have fun while the class is going on.

I love the bootcamp that Dimples does for me and my mama friends. We laugh so much that sometimes he has a hard time getting us to pay attention and work. But we do. And I'm so proud of my Warrior Princess C who continues to celebrate her year of kicking cancer by working out with us. I'm proud of all my bootcamp mamas because we all have our own reasons to be there...and we get to have fun doing it.

Dimples played basketball last week as his workout. He said he really loves to play it and it is a great workout for him...more fun than just running 3 miles.

We are going to ride bikes next week as part of our workout. It will be fun to try something different...I'm tempted to add a bell and a flower basket to my bike like I had when I was 10...except that I don't think they will fit...and I have clips instead of pedals so if I crash that basket will explode.

But that is what a workout should be...it should be fun. And sometimes you have to find a way to play while you get your heartrate up.

I spent a few months doing nothing more than the elliptical. I burned calories and worked on my cardio fitness.

I didn't hate it, but I can't say that it was fun.

When I walk into JayVee or J'taime Jamie or Spinderella's spin classes, I have a blast...I have fun...and if I have the Amazing Katherine next to me I have fun AND a cheerleader.

And when I am with Dimples...be it personal training or bootcamp, I have a blast...and the time passes so quickly.

I guess what I am saying here with all of this "play" is that if you are looking to get started on doing something for yourself, find something FUN that you enjoy doing so you will do it.

Maybe it is tennis...maybe it is basketball...maybe it is riding your bike...maybe is is pilates class...maybe it is karate...but find something that you ENJOY doing...something that will keep you coming back for more.

For me it is spinning and Dimples...that is my form of play.

And I might just have to take that stability ball around the park for a spin...just gotta find a way to hold onto it while I hop...

Inspiration Song: "Just Push Play" by Aerosmith. Because you can just push play and have some fun...or just push play on your iPod and get moving...

Bye Darlings...stop reading this and go out and play!

Tik Tok

I feel like a clock is ticking.

It's counting down the time I have left before I am grounded and not able to work out either by surgery or doctor mandated rest.

And it's killing me more than my knee is.

My knee hurts...and throbs pretty bad at night. But when I am working with Dimples, or riding the spin bike, or running on the track it totally doesn't bother me.

I took yesterday off.

Did no exercise other than walking around and photographing GOTTSON's basketball game.

I really hoped it would make my knee feel 100% better today. Or at least 60-75%.

But it didn't.

It helped a little, but not enough.

So what does that mean?

Either I need to give it a longer rest or...

The MRI will probably show that I have torn my meniscus.

So right now I am doing everything I can in case it is all put to a halt.

Care to join me in my pity party?

I have hats and balloons for everyone...no ice cream or cake will be served but I do have fresh fruit.

After the devestating news of a former student's death, I was really grounded and quit feeling sorry for myself.

But today, as I had fun at bootcamp, I was starting to feel sorry for myself again. We had a make-up session because the FABULOUS Dimples gave up his morning to take care of us since we missed Friday because of the icicle...so as I worked out with the world's best trainer and my girlfriends I realize just how much I would really miss getting to do that if I am put on halt for a few weeks after surgery.

And it is killing me...

like I said, my knee is killing me but not like the thought of not spinning or training is.

I have become what I never thought I would be:

SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES TO EXERCISE AND WORK OUT.

I used to make fun of people like me.

I make fun of people like me now.

I make fun of me now...

and you are welcome to join me...

Exercise addiction is healthier than drug, alcohol, or food...but I do see that I could really say I am addicted.

Taking the day off yesterday drove me nuts...I itched to run up to the gym and jump on a spin bike or elliptical. The only reason Dimples was safe was because he was coaching football all day.

If I have to stay home...in bed...or on crutches I will literally go nuts.

I am really examining this with myself because I see myself in dangerous territory where I can see myself compromising my knee to keep going out of fear that the weight loss will stop.

I know I can't do it with diet alone.

And I'm not sure how long I will be "down" after surgery.

Dimples assured me we could work around it and he can get me back but even a few days will make me crazy.

I'm a stubborn stubborn stubborn woman.

I don't like when I don't get my way.

And frankly I don't have the time to have surgery even without the issue of missing my workouts. I really just don't have the time...

So now despite my declaration yesterday that it would be stupid to worry about all of this until I know what is really going on...

I am...worrying about all of this...

and yes, that is stupid.

But like I said yesterday...I am a stupid girl.

So I'm going to workout as hard as I can (or my knee will let me) and wear my stilleto heels and boots and pray for good news after my MRI.

So here, with apologies to Ke$ha, are my new lyrics to her song...

Tik Tok

Wake up in the morning my knee makes me feel some pity
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, gonna hit the city
Before I leave, brush my teeth and put gym clothes on
'Cause when I leave to work out, I'm sweating and getting gone...

I'm talking spin shoes on my toes, toes
Trying on all new clothes, clothes
Great workout tunes on my phone, phone
Drop squatting, lunging, and bending my knees, knees
Running around the trees, trees
Trying to get a little bit fit, you see?

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of fear
Ain't got no pain in my body, but for this knee right here
And now, my trainer gets me going with a workout that's not mild
And I'll run and go up the hill until I look like Olivia Wilde

I'm talking running around the track, track
Tryin to get my ass back
Gonna smack me if I get too slack, slack

Now, now, I go as Dimples works me out, out
Or my damn knee shut us down, down
damn knee shut us down, down
knee knee shut us

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Dimples, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

With my hands up
You got me now
You got me bound
Yeah, you got me

Dimples, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

With my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up

Now, the workout won't stop until I give in...

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Sorry, Ke$ha...I ruined your song...

Inspiration song: Tik Tok by Ke$ha...totally love that song...

Bye Darlings...don't let the clock tick down on you...

Cold as Ice

Actually, it was colder than ice.

I live in Texas for the HEAT.

Cold is not my temperature.

I like it hot...I love summer...I don't mind sweating...

100 degrees outside = love it

On Monday I was sweating through my workout.

This morning...notsomuch.

I have determined that Dimples is the most dedicated and sweet trainer that a girl could ever have...because he braved the cold for "Mama Bootcamp" this morning and basically became a human popsicle all in the name of getting me and my friends into better shape.

We work out in a park. A park we love.

Today...notsomuch.

He got to the park a few minutes before me. Then he sent me a picture of some of the ice patches on the ground. It was a balmy 27 degrees.

Now I know those of you who live in colder climates are laughing that I am complaining about 27 degrees, but remember that you would probably melt in my August heat here in Texas.

It's all relative...

And relatively speaking, I'll take the heat over the cold.

We piled out of our cars with our piled-on clothes and set about to try and get hot...or at least warmed up.

I had on a tank, an Under Armor cold-gear long-sleeved top, and another Under Armor long-sleeved t-shirt...and a fleece jacket. A pair of gloves and glove liners. Pants.

Ah, the pants...

the pants that no longer fit...too big (yay!) and kept annoyingly falling down so I had to remove my gloves to hike them back up. I'm giving them away...

My friend Jantastic ('cause she's fantastic)only had a pair of riding gloves so I gave her my fleece ones.

I call that love...mostly cause I just love her but also cause she is a sorority sister so Pi Phi love always wins out...

Dimples had 2 bootcamps this morning...one at 8 and one at 9.

I did both of them.

Obsession....

(yes that was a few blogs ago...)

I loved it until my knee decided that it demanded to be heard.

So my knee wanted me to tell Dimples that it woke me up in the middle of the night last night throbbing and that it was giving me some grief this morning. I was going to blame the cold but at this point it was being pretty insistant that I tell him the full extent of what it was feeling/doing and he put a halt to some of my work.

I promised him I would always tell him the truth about pain so I was holding to that promise. Up until today I had some pain but not to the extent that I felt the need to call my orthopedic doctor.

Suffice it to say that tomorrow I am seeing the doctor at 4 unless it snows here and fouls everything up.

I'll let you know...

I once heard it said that "we get one icicle in this city and it all shuts down"...well, we're gonna get an icicle tomorrow and the city will shut down.

Dimples and I have found an alternative place for our workout.

It is INSIDE.

But as soon as we can get back to the park...well, I am so so so there!

I've never liked the cold. You've read my ski stories and having grown up in Kingsville where I remember snow exactly ONE time, cold weather is a bother but not the norm. So I hate it...

Today to warm myself up I played a lot of "sunny and warm" music:
"Island in the Sun" by Weezer
"Island Girl" by Elton John
"Soak up the Sun" by Sheryl Crow

Right now I wish I was on Poipu Beach in Kauai...or on St. Thomas...

But it will warm back up in a week or so and the snow and icicles will be forgotten.

And for all my friends who live with the snow and ice all winter long...I'm thinking about you and hoping you are staying warm and cozy.

Because today, I was cold as ice...

at least I got to light the fire in my fireplace...

Inspiration Song: "Cold as Ice" by Foreigner...great song...great band...

Bye Darlings...stay warm!

Pop Music

I have over 2800 songs in my iTunes library...not all of them are on my iPhone (iPod), but most of them are.

I like music...

I have all kinds of music:
Rock (classic mostly)
pop
alternative (mostly pop-alt)
Musicals/Broadway
movie soundtracks
a little country (but not much)
dance tracks
a few classical selections
some "old school" R&B (think Earth, Wind, & Fire)

I make a lot of playlists...I like to just start up the iPod and have a set of songs to listen to.

Ke$ha Barbie spends hours and hours making playlists and listening to music. She probably has 100 playlists.

Mine are not that extensive...

She gets her love of music from me. I got my love of music from both of my parents...but probably mostly from my father.

I started her music education early...including the whole episode I blogged about before when she thought a record album was a "big black cd".

Once she was singing a song...it was a Beyonce/Destiny's Child song...

Bootylicious

so there she is in the backseat of my suburban singing "Bootylicious" and saying how much she loves Beyonce (I do too...) and I hear the sample in the song of Stevie Nick's "Edge of 17".

She (Ke$ha Barbie) says she loves that Beyonce song...especially the "music part".

She was referring to the sample of "Edge of 17".

I literally pulled over and stopped the car.

Dug out a cd...

shoved it into the cd player

and reminded her that as great as Beyonce was...

Stevie was first.

And she did it better.

And then a few years later the Dixie Chicks sang "Landslide". I had to give her a lesson again that...

Stevie was first.

And did it better.

Ke$ha Barbie and I don't agree on all of our music...but we probably have about 30-40% of our libraries in common.

I taught her classic rock...Frampton, Eagles, Aerosmith, Led Zepplin, Fleetwood Mac.

She taught me: Muse, Julian Casablancas, Arcade Fire, Jimmy Eat World, Phoenix.

I played the Beatles for her. Took her (and The Cutest Boy in the World) to see "Beatles LOVE" at the Mirage in Las Vegas. She has almost all of Lennon/McCartney's songs on her iPod now...

We only disagree on who we like better...I'm on "Team Paul" and she is "John" all the way...

But we both agree that George Harrison was the cutest of them and the most soulful.

As to Ringo...

no real opinion there.

But he has some fun stuff too...

I always feel a little victory when I discover a song or band before her. Like today when I told her that I had already downloaded "Houdini" by Foster the People...she hadn't even heard it yet.

Yesssssssssssssss....

And I also feel a little victory when she says things like:
The Eagles really had great harmony
Steve Miller is awesome
Frampton was a guitar god

and she has enough sense to think that Justin Bieber is the lamest excuse for a pop star EVER and that the Jonas Brothers are a blemish on the music industry.

My blog
My Opinion

Of course I am a woman who shamelessly has Barry Manilow on her iPod and is happy about it.

And I have a helluva lot of disco too...not all of it "good" disco (I can hear you all saying "is there such a thing as GOOD disco?").

By "good" I mean: Bee Gees, KC & the Sunshine Band, and Donna Summer

and then you have the old school R&B stuff that was almost disco-like...Brothers Johnson (I challenge you NOT to dance when you hear "Stomp"), S.O.S. Band ("Take your Time, do it right), GAP Band, and some of the stuff that Earth, Wind and Fire did (September).

Ke$ha Barbie does not like ANY of that...but then again I hate Vampire Weekend and the Arctic Monkeys so I guess we are even.

I give music to JayVee, J'taime Jamie all the time...they indulge me and play my stuff during spin class. My latest obessions are with a mash-up of Teenage Dream (Katie Perry) and Get Outta My Way (Kylie) or the new Taio Cruz song (Higher). And JayVee always throws in some classic rock for us too...

I once said I would put some playlists on this blog...stuff to get you moving and grooving. I couldn't decide whether to go with a theme (like Disco or 80's) but settled on a good mix that hopefully most of you have on your iPod...I'll do some "theme" ones another day.

These are all good for cardio work...use the beat (rhythm)to set your pace. I won't use anything "scary" or too offbeat (so no Evanescence---although "Bring me to Life" is awesome to warm-up with---or anything too in to the alternative zone).

Warm-up:
"Genie in a Bottle" Christina Aguilera
"Speed of Sound" Coldplay

Go fast:
"September" Earth Wind & Fire

Hard Climb (high tension)
"Where You Going Now?" Damn Yankees

Interval (fast and slow):
"I'm Still Standing" Elton John

Steady pace...but quick:
"Train in Vain" Clash
"Ready to Start" Arcade Fire

Climb again:
"4 Minutes" Madonna

Interval:
"Raise your Glass" Pink

Steady but quick:
"Take it Off" or "We R who we R" Ke$ha\
"Viva la Vida" Coldplay

interval:
"Club Can't Handle Me" FloRida
"Thnks for the Mmrs" Fall Out Boy

Climb:
"Waiting for You" or "Kiss from a Rose" Seal

Quick:
"Teenage Dream" Katy Perry (try and find the Kylie mash-up)
"Panic Switch" Silversun Pickups
"Get Outta My Way" Kylie Minogue

interval:
"I just Want to Run" The Downtown Fiction

Cool Down:
"Drops of Jupiter" Train

So there are some ideas of some music for you to use whether you spin, walk, run, or do the elliptical or arc trainer.

I've got disco lists, pop-alt lists, classic rock, etc. so if you don't like what you see, send me a message and I'll find you something you like.

The main idea is to MOVE...and if you use a beat, you will move better.

Wouldn't you rather hear Train than the ladies on the View anyway? Turn off the tv and turn on your music and get moving...

Inspiration Song: "Pop Music" by M...Spinderella gave us a dose of it this morning and even though my glutes were screaming by the end of it, it was fun to spin to...

Bye Darlings...let the music play....

Feeling Good

I like Mondays...not always, but sometimes.

I liked today...I pretty much played "dress up" all day.

First...the cheetah print skirt.

Yep, I wore it.

I rocked it.

I rocked it with black stiletto boots.

Which Dimples warned me not to do but I told him that my knee be damned, I was going for "hotness" and not hot mess so no other shoes would do.

So I wore the cheetah print skirt up to my son's school and showed my friend (the middle school principal) because I told her I would.

Check that off the list of things I planned to do when I lost weight.

So I sit in said skirt and watch GOTT choreograph the first part of "Hard Knock Life" and proceed to scream with delight through it all...

It is going to be totally adorable...GOTT is genius.

After that I decided it was time to go shopping...

for...

underwear...

(men, you can just stop reading here...or scroll down a bit...because you cannot relate to the experience at all...)

I've lost so much weight that I needed to be "fit" for undergarments and dammit I have worked hard so I was going to reward myself with something from Victoria's Secret.

When I get to goal weight I'm going to blow a chunk of cash on something from Agent Provocatuer (right now I only wear their perfume) but for now VS will more than do.

I go into the store and the darling sales girl screams when I tell her I have lost 110 pounds. She kept asking me how I did it...

4 bras and 8 pairs of underwear later I left the store with a red bag full of undergarments in my hand.

I haven't shopped at Victoria's Secret in 8 years...almost 9...

It. Felt. Great.

Would it be oversharing to say that I even bought some thongs?

I always overshare...

But if Dimples is going to have me do a bijillion squats, lunges, and step-ups, by damn I will not have panty lines...

After all of that fabulous shopping it was time for bootcamp.

Which was awesome...

We are all getting stronger...more fit...feeling good...

But the best part was that we were joined by a WARRIOR...a beautiful kicked-cancer-in-the-ass warrior...my friend Princess C...

(You see...when you kick cancer in the ass you get to be called Princess in my world...)

So Princess C will celebrate one year since her surgery tomorrow...

And she looked beautiful to me...

her hair has come back...and her beautiful eyes were more beautiful than ever...

and she worked out and had fun with us and said it felt so good to be moving...to be outside and enjoying it...and I loved watching her move about the park with us.

Because...she is here...

Because she survived...

Before bootcamp I showed Dimples my "goal" dress.

I pulled it out today and gave it a good long hard look.

I have a couple of goal dresses...they were my mother's. All of them black, all of them special...

But this dress...this is THE dress.

It's the Vera.

The Vera Wang.

No, not THE Vera Wang that I want Oprah to get me...that will be a gown...

This one is a cocktail dress.

One I chickened out of wearing to a party 8 years ago.

Here it is...

front view...one shoulder...sheer in the back...

Here is the back...you can't really see it very well...

So I show this to Dimples...who just smiled and looked slightly puzzled as to why I was holding a dress in front of him, but he's a doll and patient so he let me explain...

And I told him that I was holding the little scrap of black fabric he was working to get me in.

I often visualize that dress when I want to give up...

Today it made me run faster.

When I got home I hung the dress back up. And then I decided I couldn't help myself.

I had to see how "far" I was from getting into it.

I slipped it on...over my head...

ok

Then I reached for the zipper...

it zipped!

OK...

stretchy fabric...

but it was not heinous...I mean, with a good pair of spanx (or two) I could wear it.

I showed Ke$ha Barbie. We both got pretty excited. I cried. She hugged me and kissed me...and finished zipping me up.

And declared that I was going to look hot in it when I wore it.

So now I have a couple of months before the party I plan to wear it to. And I now know I can do it.

It's in my grasp.

But I'll still need spanx...or a thong...or fishing line and Crisco.

In any case...I can wear the dress.

When I took it from my mother's closet after she died I said it was because I wanted to wear it sometime. I didn't know when or how but I WANTED to wear the dress again.

After a few years I figured I would just give it to Ke$ha Barbie.

She says she is fine with it being mine...what a good daughter...

So it was a good Monday...and I'm feeling good.

I wore a silly skirt with boots, I bought thongs and bras, I zipped up a dress that I thought I would never wear.

But despite all of THAT good...the BEST part...the truly BEST part was Princess C showing up to work out with us.

Because she is a warrior...and she will be strong again...and she is, and always has been BEAUTIFUL

And she's feeling good...

And THAT, well that...that is priceless...she is here and she kicked cancer in the you-know-what...and she's feeling good...

And that makes me feel REALLY good!

Inspiration Song: "Feeling Good"...multiple artists...George Michael has a great version...but my favorite is Buble...Michael Buble...he's dreamy...

Bye Darlings...do something that makes you feel good today!

Viva la Vida

Viva la Vida...live the life!

Are you living the life or Living la vida Loca? (crazy life)

I can relate to the la vida loca...that is me 90% of the time...but today I'm talking about living the GOOD life...the life we all want to live...

Yesterday my girlfriends Athenagal and Chauchacha taught a great art history lesson to the 7th grade class...Romantisism and Realism...and the first painting discussed was Delacroix's "Liberty Leading the People".

They showed the kids the Coldplay video of "Viva la Vida"...where Chris Martin (lead singer) wanders about in king's robes carrying a copy of that painting.

As I heard the song over and over (for each class) I was reminded:
1) how much I love that song
2) how much I love Coldplay's music
3) what a great statement viva la vida is...live the life...

And I love that painting...

After the art lesson we met Dimples for a workout and had a great time...perfect weather, fun friends, awesome trainer...and we laughed a lot. You can't burn 400 calories in a better way...

that is surely Viva la Vida...

Right now I feel that I am pretty close to living my best life. I still have some issues to work out...things I am not going to blog about because even though I am pretty much an open book here there are things that I do need to keep private...but for the most part, I'm living the life I want/hope/dream about.

My children are healthy and happy...they amaze me every day and I am blessed that I get to be called "Mom" and not just "Anice"...

I have wonderful friends...really wonderful and supportive friends

I am healthy...I'm almost at a healthy weight...I am healthy "inside" with my cholesterol, sugar levels, etc.

I am fit...I can run...I can spin...I can lift weights...I work out...

I have a great gig with GOTT and TTG...I get to work with people I love and how awesome is that...and the kids...oh, I don't have enough good words for the kids and my love for them...

I have Dimples (lucky me!)...and JayVee...and Spinderella...and J'taime Jamie...

I have the possibility of getting my teaching certificate...something I would really like to do...

I have this blog as a creative outlet...

But still no Oprah...but there is hope!

Today I achieved a personal goal...I did a 75 minute spin class. As I told Dimples it was "a piece of cake"...I'm sure he is happy that I thought the class was a piece of cake and didn't EAT a piece of cake.

The class was fun and I'm happy to say that I was pretty pumped that I lasted all the way through and still had some energy left...

Because...

I had to sit through hours and hours of middle school boy's state wrestling championships.

UGH!

Alas, The Cutest Boy in the World did not place or get a medal but he made a valiant effort at it and the boys he lost to were bigger and older than him. But he took them the distance and his coach was pleased with how well he did.

We had one boy win a state title and several other boys who placed 2-6.

I'm very proud of them!

But I'm so tired of sitting...so very tired of sitting.

Who ever thought you could be tired of sitting?

I sat there and watched our boys fight it out with other boys.

While wearing leotards (called a singlet)...

and longed for football season...

because I "get" football...sorta...although Dimples still has to explain most of it to me...and I understand what is going on on the field even if I don't know what all the positions are.

Wrestling is still a mystery to me...one sport I'm not sure I'm ever going to "get".

But my son likes it, so I will be supportive and sit and watch endless hours of it and pray that he stays safe. Today one boy on our team may have broken an ankle and I watched a boy from another team tear his ACL (or at least it pretty much look like he tore his ACL...poor kid).

I used to fear the injuries from football but now I understand that my son is safe with all that padding. I'm not saying he won't be hurt, but he is less likely to do so with shoulder pads on. It's a life I understand.

Wrestling is a life I am still figuring out...and I hate the demands to remain at a certain weight and all the physical contact.

The weight thing really gets me because as much as I am working to lose weight, I find it hard to put my 12 year old boy on a diet to make a weight class and feel good about it. And some of those wrestlers do extreme things to drop the weight...running in plastic suits, sweatboxes, steam showers, not drinking water...

no...

that is not the life I want for my son...

so he can wrestle but we aren't doing the crazy stuff...

because I want to Viva la Vida...not Viva la vida loca...

and that, my friends is what I call "loca"...crazy...

I'm crazy enough...I don't need to add to the crazy.

Inspiration Song: "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay. Gorgeous song...love the music...

Bye Darlings...Viva la Vida...

All In

Are you all in?

Now you are asking "all in for what?"...

My answer: for whatever you have set out to do...

Today during spin class JayVee had Lifehouse's "All In" in the mix. She dedicated the song to yours truly. I was honored. She says it was because I was "all in" for my fitness and weight loss...

I hadn't thought about it, but I guess I am...

Of course that got me pondering...

Sometimes I think about my blogs, sometimes they just flow.

This was a weekend where not much happened so I didn't really have a jumping off point for the blog until JayVee put that song on and we started rolling.

So "All In" got me thinking that I needed to see where else in my life I was or wasn't "all in".

Right now my house is NOT all in...I've got stuff piled up everywhere...things I need to go through, things I need to toss out, things I need to move somewhere else. I have pictures that need hanging and photos that need to be put back out that have been packed away. It's a wreck...clean, but a wreck.

So...next on the list...house!

I AM all in for my costuming job...we are doing "Annie" and I cannot wait to costume up some orphans and Daddy Warbucks. As soon as I finish this blog I am watching the movie again so I can take notes...

Here's one that I am a bit stuck with---getting my teaching certification. I looked online...did I tell you this before?...and discovered that without taking any additional classes I am only qualified to teach...

FFA

yes, that would be Future Farmers of America

I don't think so...

You see, I have a degree in agriculture so that pretty much limits what I am qualified for.

I can teach kids about cows...horses...goats...

hmmmmm...

no....

So to be "all in" for teaching I'm going to have to do some work.

I can do that...it's the "when" I am worried about, not the "how" or "what" part.

So that goes on the "things I need to do" list too...

what else?

I'm chairing a big project at school but that is under control because Athenagal is my co-chair and since she has chaired MAKOR charity balls, this is a breeze for her...I'm good to go there...

I am about to have to adopt the wrestling coach...that will take some work...and it is it's own blog...

And then there is the whole "go on Oprah and have her give me a Vera Wang gown" bit...I'm all in for that...call me Oprah...call me!

There are other things, but they aren't things I need to be "all in" for.

So what about you?

Have you considered what you have planned for yourself this year?

It's January 23...what have you done to get started on making your life, your family's life, your world better?

There is no time like now to get started...don't put it off...

I put off taking care of myself and getting fit and losing weight for so long...there was always "tomorrow"...

but "tomorrow" never came...I just kept doing what I was doing without changing. I kept on eating...and sitting on the couch...

There were things I planned to do with my mother...but I lost her before we could do some of those things.

Now that is an extreme example of why not to wait, but when I tell you that my mother was just 60 years old and very healthy when she died. I never dreamed that I would lose her so young...but I did...

and tomorrow never came...

I thought I would have all the time in the world with my dad...I knew he would be the worlds greatest grandpa...after all, I had just had a girl and my daddy LOVED girls...

but at 59 he was gone to soon...died having heart bypass surgery...he only held Ke$ha Barbie twice...

tomorrow with him never came...

Now I'm not trying to say people you love in your life are going to die (well, yes they will but that is not my point)...my point is that to most people 59 and 60 years old are still pretty young...you wouldn't expect them to die...so I never considered the possibility it could happen.

But it did...

I think we need to just DO it (here I go sounding like a Nike commercial again but it is a good slogan...) and not put it off or find excuses not to.

I wasted hours and hours of my life being lazy...accepting being fat...avoiding the gym because I was I didn't care enough about myself to take the time to go...eating fast food because it was easier than making something healthy...letting sugar make me feel better instead of feeling better because I worked out.

I do know that most people who read this blog are not overweight like I was...many of you don't need to lose a pound. Many of you are healthier and thinner than I will ever be...

but we all get stuck with our junk...it's like the crap sitting in my living room that I just need to throw out...I just walk by it instead of dealing with it.

So tomorrow I am going to deal with something...maybe it is just one box, one bag, or hanging a picture or two, but I have to start.

A very wise teacher once told me that I was going to have problems with Ke$ha Barbie. She is equally right and left brained. Yes, it is hard.

I was having trouble getting her to clean up her playroom. So that very wise teacher gave me a suggestion.

She told me that instead of telling her to clean the playroom I needed to make a game of it...make it something that took the task into small chunks rather than one big overwhelming project.

Now THAT makes sense...it made sense to me with that, it made sense to Ke$ha Barbie, and it makes sense now.

Just like I have taken this weight loss into small goals, I'm going to do these other things in small chunks so I can get a sense of accomplishment rather than discouragement at what is not done.

So that is my advice to you for anything you are doing (by the way, I am GREAT at giving advice I don't always follow myself...LOL)...take it in small chunks...but be all in...be committed!

Commit to whatever you want to do with yourself...your life...your body...

make time to do it...
save the money to do it...
find the energy to do it...
prioritize yourself and your family so you WILL do it...

I'll let you know how that works for me...

Inspiration Song: "All In" by Lifehouse...love that band!!!!!! And I love JayVee, her spin class, and her support...

Bye Darlings...be like a gambler...be all in!

Feel Good Time

Today we had a Dimples bootcamp...I had 7 mamas there (including me)...we had fun...

The weather was...perfect! Just the reason we live in Texas...it was about 65 degrees (very comfortable) and sunny. Like I said...just the reason why we like to live in Texas.

He (Dimples) divided us into 2 groups and we all did squats, push-ups, leg thrusts, step-ups, and pulled each other with resistance bands.

Seriously, it was fun!

We were all a little sore from Monday's bootcamp (and me a bit from yesterday's yowza extravaganza with the push ups on the barbells) so it was good to get the kinks out.

But right now...I'm a hurtin'

Sore...

Tired...

Ready for a nice long soak in the tub...a tub full of epsom salts (and lavender) with the whirlpool going.

I plan to basically LIVE in the bath for the next few hours...

It's not that what I did today was any worse than what I usually do, it is just that I'm training my body to do things it usually doesn't WANT to do.

And it is working...

the scale bar...sliding down...

a skirt I wore last fall...sliding down my hips...too big...

a skirt I thought I would wear on Friday when I teach...fit 3 weeks ago and is now too big.

Love it

Love it

Love it

Love Dimples...yes, I do...

When I was talking to my friend Athenagal today we were laughing about how my daughter declared I was "nicer and happier" since I had lost weight and was working out.

She said: "thank goodness she didn't say you were nicer when you were heavy!"

Oh, I agree...

I laughed and told her that I had always considered myself the "fat jolly girl" but later, when I had time to think about it, I realize I wasn't...

To the rest of the world I was happy and jolly and funny and I'm sure many of my friends thought of me as their fat and happy friend...who they wished would lose some weight...

I was never happy with being fat.

I just didn't know how to get out of it. I didn't have the motivation or energy to try and do something about it.

I can't tell you how many times I was in a dressing room at Lane Bryant, trying on things in a VERY LARGE SIZE and I would look in the mirror and...

cry...

it didn't feel good to put on what amounted to a big trapeze top and stretchy pants and look in the mirror and realize that I looked like a very large blonde apple...in a size 24.

Wow, I can't believe I actually put that number in this blog.

I would look into the mirror and try to convince myself that I looked good. I guess to a certain extent I looked as good as I could considering I was a size 24...but no, I didn't look good.

And it didn't feel good to be that way...

My legs and feet constantly hurt. And my knees hurt...a lot...
I moved without grace and waddled about.
I was always out of breath.
I would sweat a lot...not because of working out...but just walking.
I didn't fit into chairs...and feared breaking one...
My feet and ankles were swollen and it was hard to wear shoes...

Now...
the only time my legs, feet or knees hurt is after a good hard workout...so they hurt in a good way!
I move with grace...I can get around easily...
The only time I am out of breath is when Dimples has me run up the hill or if I am going hard on the spin bike (with the Amazing Katherine urging me on!)
I sweat a lot more now...but as a result of exercise and working out...sweat like that is beautiful and sexy...
I fit into chairs easily now...I no longer have to squeeze into them!
And my feet and ankles...no longer swollen...and have I mentioned the stilletos I like to wear? Yes, I have and I do...

I feel good now...I feel really really really good...

I can do so much more and I have so much more energy. And I don't look into the mirror and want to cry because I see a fat girl staring back at me.

I'm not thin...but I am thinner...

OK, I'm going to do something that does not feel good now...I'm going to put up a photo of myself at my heaviest. It was a weight I was at for over a year. I know when I went to the doctor, about 2 months after this photo was taken, that I weighed...well, let's say it was just shy, very very shy (3 pounds) of 300.

You do the math...

I know I gained weight afterwards. But I use that number as my "official" number because it is the one I know for a fact is what I weighed at one point.

I've cut out my friend to protect her innocence...because I love her...

OK, here goes...

Wow...

here is another one...deep breath...here goes...and again I have cut out my friend in the photo...this was taken while standing on top of a nuclear submarine while we were in Hawaii...

A lot of you who read this blog saw me everyday...or frequently. You remember what I looked like. But some of you never saw me in my full fat glory.

So there is is...

And no, it doesn't feel good to look at it...but it does remind me how far I have come and why I don't want to be there again.

I really don't EVER want to go there again...EVER...

When I think of how good I feel NOW and how it just gets better every day, well, I wonder how I lived like that for so long.

Today I joyously showed Dimples a little something fun...I held up my wrist with my heart monitor watch on it and I did a little adjustment. We do it from time to time...so I told him I wanted to show him something and I held up my wrist...

And I started adjusting the "weight" number...down...

with each little click to adjust it down, his smile got bigger...and that number got smaller.

Now, it is not a GOOD number. I am not thin or svelte or small...but I am so much better than the woman in the pictures above.

But it is a number I haven't been at in a long long long time.

And the fact that the other night 2 12 year-old boys declared me the prettiest girl at the party is something that DOES feel good...because they have known me pretty much all of their lives...and nothing is sweeter than the honesty of children.

Before writing this blog I read a blog I regularly follow. It is written by a very funny (and gorgeous) girl who had the lap band procedure and has lost a lot of weight...like 160 pounds or so...

I enjoy her humor and observtions. Her journey has been different because she is banded (and with that comes a host of food things) but I can relate to the feelings she has about losing weight and working out and keeping it off. She's hit her goal weight...she is stunning.

But she blogged about wondering if she was always meant to be a fat person. And she cried about it to her girlfriend...even though she is much thinner and has a pretty cute figure now. And she feels bad that she sometimes holds a grudge against herself for letting herself ever be a fat person...and with all that comes with it...with her stretched out body, etc.

(Here's a link to her blog if you want to read it...she's pretty funny...scroll down and find some of her older posts...I laugh out loud a lot...
http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com/2011/01/naked-crying.html
she's good...)

I can totally relate...because is is exactly how I feel.

Because I have been here before and I have been fat fat fat before. More than once. And I am so afraid that something will happen and I will be there again.

Oh, that doesn't feel good either...

But I really do hope and believe that this time it is for good. This time I can stick with it. Because I am worth it...and that, my friends, does feel good to say...

So I am off to make dinner (salmon on a bed of arugula with blueberries)and then a nice long soak in the tub...which will feel very very very good...

Because a hot bath feels good
and working out feels good
and eating healthy feels good

and wine would feel really good but I'm cutting out wine during the week so no wine for me...

And Oprah...yes, meeting Oprah would feel good...I had the dream again last night...I met Oprah and she gave me a Vera Wang dress...like a fairy godmother! It felt good to put it on...it was satin and sexy...and very very very Vera...

I don't know why I am obsessed with Oprah...but I am...

And maybe tomorrow I will post a photo of me now...if I will ever agree to let someone take a photo of me! (Dimples is asking for it so I guess I will).

Inspiration Song: "Feel Good Time" by Pink. Off the "Charlie's Angels" soundtrack...a really good pump-you-up make you feel good tune...

Bye Darlings...go and do something that makes YOU feel good.

You Can Do It

"You can do it...Nothing to it!"

Fabulous words of advice...

Given to me by the Amazing Katherine during our spin class with Spinderella today.

I was pushing hard to get through the heavy tension I had on my bike and the Amazing Katherine looks at me and says:

"you can do it! Nothing to it!"

I think I need to embroider that onto a pillow...in shiny gold fibers!

The Amazing Katherine is my favorite and best cheerleader...very soon I am going to dedicate an entire blog to her and her family's foundation that benefits people with intellectual disabilities...The Amazing Katherine is just that...AMAZING!

And of course my other amazing person...Dimples...today he got me to a new level...we burned through over 400 calories (trust me, that is big...wear a heart monitor and you will understand how hard you have to work for a 400 calorie burn)!

So between spin and my workout with Dimples I could pretty much eat a pint of Blue Bell...or fried chicken...

but I don't want to...

I'm even shunning wine (during the week...weekends are fair game)to keep the weight loss shred going. Despite my litte flirtation with ruining my diet on Saturday I am below where I was that morning...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dimples is like the Amazing Katherine...he is always telling me I can do it...even when I think there is no way I possibly can.

Like today...when he set the 20 lb. handweights (they are big suckers) on the ground and had me do pushups while holding the handles...

I said "no way"

he said "yes, you can"

and I did...

and then he had me do the same thing but do a leg thrust out and in and stand up in between each push up...

again I said "no way"

and he said "yes, you can!"

and I did...

and then he had me get into the pushup position, balance myself and pick up a weight (while balancing on my feet and one arm like a tripod) and pull it back for 10 reps...each side...

again I said "absolutely no way I can do that"

he said "try 5"

I did 10...each side...

and then he said "now put it all together"...yowza...

and this little voice in my head said:

You can do it, Nothing to it...

So the Amazing Katherine's comment got me thinking...while I was waiting on my car to get the oil changed...that we all tend to limit ourselves.

Dimples always tells me not to ...he tells me I can do things and that it is mind over matter...and he finds ways to encourage me when I think I can't do the last 2 or 3 reps of something because he reminds me I have already done 13 or 18...

And the Amazing Katherine always tells me I can do it just when I think I can't push my legs any faster or harder on the spin bike...

it's that bit of encouragement we all need...

I've written about this before...how we can do things we think we can't. Too often we stand in our OWN way more than anything or anyone else does.

It's really about finding a way to push yourself through...or to just say "yes I can" or to rearrange things so that it is possible.

Today Ke$ha Barbie informed me that I am a happier and easier to deal with mother since I have been working out. She says that my attitude has improved and that...wow, this almost HURTS to write because it sorta hurt my feelings...she "likes me more" these days.

Hmmmmmmmmmm...not sure how I feel about that, really...

was I not likable before?

or is just that she is basically Beelzebub most days and like most teenage girls she thinks her mother is:
stupid
dumb
out-of-touch
knows nothing
worthless
full of useless advice
can't do anything right
is a fashion disaster with no fashion sense
too picky
too critical
and
really really crazy

I know I felt that way about my mother...until I realized that not only was she the most beautiful woman in the world she was also the wisest and most wonderful.

But at 17 Ke$ha Barbie just sees me as a cook, maid, and banker...most days...

Maybe when dealing with her I need to say my affirmation:
You can do it, Nothing to it...

because she often makes me...

CRAZY

but I digress...as usual...

(although I think I am hearing an "amen" from the choir of moms who have teenage daughters)

Back to "what we can and can't do"...

I do have moments when I amaze myself with what I can do now...and it never fails to hit me when I run, yes RUN, up the stairs that changed my life. Because I do it now without being winded...in stillettos...

The fact that I can wear stillettos amazes me too...yet sometimes I still have to tell my feet "you can do it"...

When I run I am surprised that I can...because I thought that there was no way, no how I was going to run...but I should have listened to Dollface and kept the running to a minimum because my knee is still giving me a bit of pain...

I'm always surprised by how quickly my heartrate recovers when I am working out...the fact that my heart, once working so hard to pump blood through my fat body, can beat now to an athletic pace...well, that just really floors me.

Our bodies can do so much more than we think they can...our only limits are what we tell ourselves we can't do...and yes, sometimes things like bad joints, bulging disks, and real injuries can limit us...but they shouldn't STOP us.

So I am going to make a pledge to myself...for the next week I am NOT going to say I can't do something...I'm just going to do it when asked...

let's see how that works for me...

Inspiration Song: "You Can Do It" by the Brand New Heavies...funky little band I found a few years ago when I heard another song of theirs.

Bye Darlings...You Can Do it...Nothing to It!

You Will Leave a Mark

Today is Martin Luther King day...a day to honor a man who did much with the little time he had here.

I often wonder what he would think of the changes in our country since his death.

Have we changed that much?

Have we changed enough?

I'm not sure..

I still think there is a lot of bigotry out there. And not just about race...it extends to religion, sexual preference (uh-oh..it's the gay thing again!) and sex.

I still don't think we are all tolerant enough. We aren't open enough. We don't live without prejudice.

My blog...my opinion...

I will never understand how someone can feel superior to someone else based on skin color.

Now hair color I totally get...because I have always known I am prettier than my brunette friends because I am blonde!

Joking...JOKING...

but as ridiculous as my statement about being blonde is, there are others who feel the same way about skin color.

That is a shame.

And there are those who believe gays shouldn't have certain rights (like marriage or a legal union) or should be allowed to adopt or do certain jobs (Don't ask don't tell, anyone?)

And then there are things still denied to women...

I can go on and on but it diminishes the point I want to make here...because you get what I am saying...

have we changed enough?

Did Dr. King change us enough?

I hope so...but I'm afraid not...

sigh

Dr. King did remarkable things...he changed the world...maybe not to get it perfect, but he did affect change.

So today as I contemplated all of that (while watching Oprah discuss Dr. King) I started thinking about how we can affect change in our own little worlds.

I try to every day...I try with the kids I am around and I try to with this blog. Sometimes this blog is far more about me than helping anyone but when I am around the kids at the school, it is all about them.

I got 3 little confirmations about that this weekend...that I have done some sort of good:

1) as one sweet child waited for her parent to pick her up from the choir auditions I handed her my phone to relieve her boredom. The kids couldn't have their phones so she left hers at home. She took my phone and in the "notes" section she wrote me a note. It is personal, but what she said was the sweetest thing...it was a note of love and it made me cry to read what she said...I guess she loves me...I guess I have left a mark on her...and I love her...

2) I got a call from a friend who's son made the region choir...she told me that after GOTT called to give him the good news the first thing her son asked was "Does Mrs. D know?"...OMG, I luv luv luv him for that...I kept after him the whole night before the auditions to not yell at the wrestling meet and Saturday morning he was worried he had lost his voice...but obviously he didn't! I love it that he wanted me to know...

3) This is the best one...not so much I have done good with helping kids, but this one...well this one is one I will hold dear forever. So my friend J picks up her son and his friend after the dance party on Saturday. The boys get in the car and are discussing the party. My friend asks the boys about the girls...who looked pretty, etc. The boys name off some names and then my friend's son (who I have known since he was 3) says...oh, I love this..."but the prettiest girl there was Mrs. D.!"...I cried...I cried in the middle of bootcamp when she told me...I'm crying now...for a 12 year old boy to declare me the belle of the ball is just the bomb...

So now my resolve is even stronger to get my teaching certification...I love teaching middle school kids and if one or two of them listens to me, well, that is all I need...

I don't "teach" them now, per se, but I do chaperone a lot and work with the 8th graders (kid #1 and Kid #2 are 8th graders) so I guess I do have some influence with them.

It's subtle, but we all influence children more than we know.

We influence each other a lot too...

Today Dimples started a bootcamp for me and my mommy friends...I'm doing my level best to get all of my friends to join us. It is a fun way to work out and get in shape.

Dimples has left his mark on me...he's changed my body, my fitness, my diet...all for the good...

The kids I teach have left a mark on me...I remember their courage when they audition, their talent when they perform, their arms around me when they hug me, and I remember their tears I dry when they come to me with an issue.

GOTT and TTG have left their mark on me...I've learned so much from them that it would take a weeks worth of blogs to do it...

Precious and Adorable History Teacher has left his mark on me...if not for that trip up the stairs with him when I couldn't catch my breath, I might not have had my "ah-ha!" moment...

My friends have left their mark on me...with their love!

Sometimes the people that leave their marks on you are Very Important People...they are the ones in your real life...those close to you...friends, loved ones...

And sometimes it is someone like Dr. King who causes us to examine our hearts and leaves his mark on the world.

Inspiration Song: "You Will Leave a Mark" by A Silent Film

Bye Darlings...make your mark and leave it...

L. E. S. Artistes

So the other day I was starting to write a new blog and all of a sudden I start having trouble with my blogger website. It won't save. I can't get the internet to work.

Ironically my husband had just done something with the Wi-fi in the house so I totally blamed him but instead it was Comcast's fault...it was an outage in our area.

I'm still going to blame him...

That blog went into the trash bin...literally.

I was writing about prepping to teach an art history lesson. I had been CONSUMED with preperation for the lesson as was my teaching partner. I mean, I had literally spent hours and hours learning about Bernini, Carvaggio, Rembrandt, and David. It was a lot of stuff...a lot of European art.

But it is some very cool art.


On the other hand, the lesson plans were...terrible. When we teach these lessons to the kids, we go into their classrooms (in middle school we teach during their history period) and use a power point that has been designed by some sort of art history person.

Well, that person took a day off when he/she did this lesson...

First, it was covering too much information, too many years of art, and really, too many artists...

But they also were focusing on the wrong stuff ABOUT the artist.

So my teaching partner and I revamped it. We just went rogue and did our own thing. We used the old lesson as a framework---in other words, we just covered the artists the lesson covered...that was it...we did the rest.

I know have a new appreciation for those artists and I did enjoy all the research and study, but I'm glad it is behind me.

Here is a sample of Bernini's work: Pluto and Persephone...AMAZING

We taught the lesson, kept the kids (fairly) interested, and even survived having a fire drill in the middle of it all. We talked non-stop for 48 minutes.

I told Bacchus it exhausted me and I was happy that I didn't have to do it every day. He LOVES to talk...even more than me. I LOVE to talk, but I felt a heavy responsibility to the children and the material to get it right.

In the middle of all of this teaching I got a text from a friend that she/he had lost her/his job. I'm not saying anything more here to protect her/his privacy but she/he was fired unjustly and I really felt bad for her/him. Normally I wouldn't disclose somthing like this but it will come into play later. All you, my dear readers, need to know is that a friend lost a job that she/he had held for 7.5 years and was fired unjustly.

After my teaching I texted Dimples and asked if he was in the mood to put up with his favorite pain in his arse and he agreed to meet me for a de-stressing workout. See why I love him? He's there when I need him...

I followed the workout with 4 hours of watching my son and his team at the city-wide wrestling championships.

Boys in leotards grappling each other.

lovely...

Between art and wrestling I needed that workout...literally BETWEEN art and wrestling...because they both scared me...

Several of our boys won medals but alas The Cutest Boy in the World did not...but he had fun trying. Some of my mommy friends expressed disbelief and joy at my weight loss...I luv luv luv them for it...and I happily told them that I give Dimples a lot of credit for being trainer/therapist/hand holder and that they could have him as their own trainer/therapist/hand holder if they wanted.

Because we are having a boot camp starting next week...if you live in Houston and want to join us, email me!

Anyhoo...

After wrestling we went to my fav fav fav restaurant (George's Pastaria)and ReRe (the owner's wife and mistress of the vine at the restaurant) was truly a goddess in my book because she had a delicious glass of muscato poured and placed it in my hands just as I walked to my table.

That is why I love George's Pastaria...ReRe KNOWS what wine I love and just when I need it...personal service to their customers is top-notch

I had asked Dimples if I could have some pasta that night and he told me:

No

And then I asked about garlic bread and he told me:

No

(he told me to imagine it was a big pile of sugar and wouldn't do my body any good...when I got up this morning and the scale was down I sent him a mental kiss and hug...)

And then I told him about the wine and he told me:

Go for it

Yet another reason why I love Dimples...he knows when Mama needs her fruit of the vine.

So ReRe and George (ok, there is no disguising his name...I mean, come on, the restaurant is called "GEORGE'S Pastaria")suggest I have the rainbow trout cooked "bodybuilder" style with veggies.

That is why I love George's Pastaria...the owners want happy customers...and happy friends...not just people who come to eat...

I'm telling you, you need to make this your favorite place...great food, great wine, great service...need I say more? 1/2 the price of Carrabbas and so much better...

Anyhoo...

I had a great dinner, kept to my diet, only had 2 glasses of wine and headed home.

Got up yesterday at 5:00 so I could chaperone the middle school choir and Region Choir auditions. The kids work so hard learning their music and it takes quite a bit of coursage to get up there and sing before the judges. I'm super proud of them.

I was super proud of me because I managed (with the help of 4 other moms) not to lose any of our kids and I only had to intervene/fight with the people running it about 3 times...that might be a new low record for me. GOTT was proud...

My son did not get into the Region Choir. As he describes it, he had an "epic voice crack" in the middle of "Come Travel With Me" so he knew he was out before he was even done. Oh well...

I came home from that and took a nap...it was GLORIOUS!

Then I went to chaperone a middle school party that some friends were giving...and I didn't behave so gloriously there...

Now lest you think I was falling down drunk in front of the kids, re-boot your brain and focus on these words:

Mexican food

Oh, it wasn't pretty.

Because thus far I have only been faced with Mexican food when I am at a restuarant and able to choose what I was eating.

But this was a buffet of snack type things and not one of them was going to make Dimples smile and not one of them was something I could alter to be less fattening.

Nachos.

Queso.

Tamales.

Beef flautas.

and...

my downfall...

quesadillas

Really really good quesadillas.

I lost count after 4...

It was basically a night of beer and quesadilla overload for me.

I was starving and I had made a huge mistake because I should have eaten before I went.

But I didn't...

And those quesadillas? Really really good...

but a lead balloon in my stomach and left me feeling pretty gross this morning.

But wait! There's more...

CRAVE CUPCAKES

curses!

There they were...CRAVE cupcakes. Sitting on a cute little stand all ready for me to grab one and eat it.

So I did.

It was chocolate.

It was fantastic.

Dimples is going to punish me good for that little forbidden food orgy.

My girlfriend told me that when they went to pick up the cupcakes that the line was out of the door. Her husband asked her:

"What are they selling there? Crack?"

Yep, that has always been my word for it...CRACK. They are CRACK cupcakes.

A deadly drug that you cannot resist once you have had one...

But I learned a lot these last few days and I will share my little lessons with you since I am in a teaching mood...

1. I would have been totally hot in the 17th century. Look at this detail from Bernini's Persephone and Pluto.

That looks like my thighs, people...

It is pretty amazing that he was able to carve that rock to look like such soft, supple flesh. AMAZING...

So yeah...I would have been a hot chick just as I am...soft round curves, thick thighs. And I am totally in love with Bernini's sculpture.

2. OK, so #1 isn't really a lesson...but this is. And it is one we all know...when God closes a door, He always opens a window. In my case:

Door Closed: terrible power point and lesson to teach the kids
Open Window: we had the time and energy to make up a new lesson

Door Closed: my friend losing her/his job
Open Window: she/he can now pursue the career she/he REALLY wants to do

Door Closed: I coulnd't eat my favorite dish at my favorite restaurant
Open Window: great restaurants have options...and they fed me a GREAT alternative to my favorite so I could stay on my diet

Door Closed: "epic" voice crack that derails my son's audition
Open Window: I don't have to deal with all the Region Choir stuff (but congratulations to the parents that do!)

Door Closed: no scheduled workout with my favorite trainer when I was stressing
Open Window: he totally rocks and made time for me...even if it meant he had to shiver in the cold...

Door Closed: Mexican food buffet with no redeeming food
Open Window: Crave Cupcakes...because who the hell cared by then...

I guess what I am saying here is that I have found it a lot easier to be flexible these days and to not be so rigid.

3. My third lesson is in not beating myself up. My son didn't beat himself up for his voice crack in the middle of his singing audition, so I shouldn't beat myself up for falling off the "eating clean" wagon.

Food orgies happen

Yes, I should not have had that really bad food last night but I behaved the day before and I am behaving now so it's not like I had a week-long or even weekend-long undoing of my diet...it was 3 hours...

I have to say that a year ago I would have taught that lesson, come home and taken to my bed for a few hours and then slogged myself to the wrestling thing where I would have sat on my fat behind and watched the boys and then followed it with some wine-fueled eating at George's Pastaria (where I would have indulged in some really amazing and sinful Rigatoni Alfredo...if you want to be "bad" they can do "bad" really well there). The next morning I would have been sluggish and slow and sat in my chair during the Region thing, followed IT with a nap and then headed to that party in a tent and black stretchy pants and lived by the buffet and eaten much much more.

Instead...I taught my lesson with energy and enthusiasm, did my favorite workout---A Dimples Training---went to wrestling and ran all over the gym taking photos, got up early and with energy and took care of choir kids and, yes, took a nap (50 minutes...perfect), and then rocked leggings and stilletto boots at the party and misbehaved (with food) just a little.

It's not that I am so great or good...it is about changing how I handle my days that makes things better for me. Seeing Dimples instead of napping on Friday I KNOW gave me the energy to get through the rest of the weekend.

I took yesterday off from exercise but today I'm hitting it hard at the gym with spin and body pump. And tomorrow the bootcamp starts so I'll pay for my sins of last night and move on.

And not do it again...for a while...

Today is a new day...clean slate...gonna do it right and not look back...

Oh, and teaching that lesson on Friday taught me more than just art...it confirmed my resolve to get my teaching certification...I'm going to do it. I told GOTT and he was excited for me...see why I love love love my GOTT? Support when I need it...and so much more...

I don't know WHAT I think I can teach...but it is something to work for...

Inspiration Song: "L.E.S. Artistes" by Santogold...she's pretty cool...

Bye Darlings..."Re-boot" if you need to...it's a new week...