Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Feel

Ok, my darlings...

I have a lot going on in my life right now...

Some of you know what it is...some of you don't.

Some of you who read this are strangers to me. I mean, I don't know anyone in Singapore or the UK but it shows up as a traffic source on my "stats" for the blog audience.

It's pretty cool that perfect strangers read this.

So where do I begin...how do I tell you what is going on without getting TOO personal.

Now you are laughing...I mean, I get pretty darn personal here. I've discussed my feelings about being fat and I have told you I bought thongs at Victoria's Secret. That is pretty darn personal.

But this next thing is...well, I wish I was announcing that I am going to be a guest on Oprah (I love you, Oprah...make my wish come true---have me as a guest and have Vera Wang make me a dress to show myself off in!!!!).

But I'm not...

So here it is...

I'm getting divorced.

Some of you know this already. For some it will a shock or surprise.

I'm not going to blog about why or what happened in my marriage to lead to this. It's been a long time coming. He's a good man. We just aren't a couple anymore and haven't been for a long time. The kids are fine with it and understand.

I'd rather have a good divorce than a bad marriage.

And, as I said to my kids, we will be a family still---just not a married one.

AND I'M GOOD WITH THIS AND I WANT THIS AND I WILL BE JUST FINE!!!!!

Some of you might wonder if my weight loss led to this decision.

Yes, and no...

Yes in that I feel better about myself so my confidence is up...so I have the confidence to do what I need to do to make my life better.

And "no" in that just because I am thin now I'm not thinking I am ready to take on a world of new men...and no, I don't plan on becoming Houston's newest "cougar"...

I plan on just figuring out who I am at this point in my life and learning to be a real grown-up on my own...

I know one thing I don't have to figure out...how to live a healthy life and take care of my body.

And I'm a great mom so even if my kids aren't with me and they are with their dad, I can still take care of them.

Don't be sad for me...be glad for me...

More later, my darlings...for now read the lyrics to my inspiration song...it is what keeps me going...

Inspiration Song: "Feel" by Robbie Williams...one of my very favorite songs...love it so much...read the lyrics...it's like my personal song...

Bye Darlings...be sure to feel your life too..I know I am...and I love you...

FEEL

Come on hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given

I sit and talk to God
and He just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand

I just wanna feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins, going to waste

I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her

I scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming

I just wanna feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins, going to waste

And I need to feel
Real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up

I just wanna feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins, going to waste

I just wanna feel real love
IN a life ever after, there's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given

Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand

No comments:

Post a Comment