Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Secret Love

Oh...this is so hard to admit...

I've been keeping a secret.

I am having a love affair.

No one really knows about it...well, AngelAmy does because she has observed me and my beloved more than a few times.

I know she doesn't really approve but she doesn't judge.

No, it is not with Hot Guy at Gym (although I am open to the possibility of spending time with his very hot and sweet and funny self).

No...my love affair is with...




Yes, I have been cheating...on my diet...

And I have become an addict...I'm addicted to my lover...

"Hello, my name is Anice and I am a chipndipaholic"

(This is where everyone in the room says "Hi Anice"...so if you are a chipndipaholic please say "Hi Anice" now...and I will do the same when it is your turn to get up and share).

It is a sneaky little love affair...and sometimes I cheat on my lovers.

I have a few lovers of the "chip" persuasion...
Baked Ruffles
Baked Pita Chips
corn chips
Special K chips

sometimes when I am desperate and really need a fix I will grab the carrots out of the fridge...but they are merely a vehicle for the dip...

As for the dip end of things...sour cream based dips are my drug of choice but almost any will do. HEB is my drug dealer/pusher.

My dip boyfriends are:
jalapeno dip
HEB "Love" dip
french onion dip
buffalo wings dip
cheddar jalapeno dip
hummus (ok that one is when I am really feeling guilty)
queso (when available...and I "speedball" it with a margarita)

Oh, I have sunk to a new low...except that my weight is not what has sunk...it's up...

Like anyone trying to recover from an addiction I do my best to try and avoid the temptation.

But for some reason as I troll the aisles of HEB without any premeditation (chips and dip are never on my grocery list) they end up in my basket.

It's like someone else's hand reaches into the fridge case and grabs the dip and puts it into my basket...and if you have dip, you need something to use to get it to your mouth.

I've been carrying on this little affair for the last few weeks.

My brain KNOWS it is wrong. I have a teeny tiny little dress to wear on Sunday and it won't look good with back fat and a poochy belly.

But sure enough today that jalapeno dip did her siren call and soon I was grabbing the baked Ruffles and off to the couch I went to plop them into my mouth.

Like any secret affair, I know I am doing wrong...but I'm loving my lovers.

But I have to stop...so I will.

I'm gonna break up with my lover...so I can have a real one and not look and feel bad.

So hot guy who drives a big ass truck, I've broken up with my boyfriend and I'm available...

Just please don't make me fat like this little affair I have been having has...

I'm pretty sure hot guy at the gym is sweet but calorie free...and since he works out maybe he won't order queso if he ever takes me out for ritas (the "skinny girl" kind with agave or zero calorie sweetener thankyouverymuch)...but he better order fries and let me steal them if we ever go to Houston's...

Inspiration Song: "Secret Love" by the one, the only, the amazing Stevie Nicks...yeah, I'm a fan...a big one...

Bye Darlings...the first step to fixing something when you are doing wrong is admitting you are doing wrong...

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