If I Could Fall In Love

Today I went to a new church.

And it was...

Awesome
Amazing
Incredible

and LIFE CHANGING...

but before I tell you all about church, I have to backtrack because I have to tell you all the obstacles that got in my way that almost kept me from this awesome, amazing, incredible and life changing experience.

JayVee invited me to come to church with her last week. She said "you should come...the pastor is talking about sex, love and dating".

Hmmmmm....

That really does fit my life right now and I love JayVee for thinking of me!

So what were my stumbling blocks?

Let's start with Ke$ha Barbie and my needing to be available to help her (yes, she is no longer Satan).

But she told me I could go because she was going to go and work at school on her art project. (and yes, I have to LOVE LOVE LOVE her teacher for meeting her at school on a SUNDAY to help her get her project ready to submit to the fancy schmancy NYC art school).

OK, stumbling block #1 gone...

Stumbling block #2...I usually do spin on Sunday at noon and JayVee was not teaching so she wanted to go to the 11:00 service. A teacher I"m not crazy about was teaching so I didn't mind...later I found out that she was unable to teach and Je T'aime Jamie took over for her. Lucky for me that stumbling block was not an issue because I didn't find out about Je T'aime Jamie subbing until AFTER church...

Stumbling block #3 was all me...because last night I went to dinner with KuteKaren, D-nice, and LovelyLauri. We had a blast. We ate at Ousie's and laughed ourselves silly.

I had some excellent martinis and a fabulous wine ("Dueling Pistols" by The Federalist...order it...buy it...drink it...yummy petite syrah/zinfandel blend). So between the wine and staying up late because I balanced the wine/martinis with Diet Coke I didn't get to sleep until almost 2 am so when the alarm went off this morning I ALMOST did not get out of bed.

But I did...I dragged my butt out of bed and was grateful I was going to church and not spin class.

Stumbling block #4...my sister wife called (that would be GOTTESS) and we HAD to plan our upcoming trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. So I was a bit distracted with excitement about going and was slow to get myself ready....but I got out the door only a teensy bit late (8 minutes).

Stumbling Block #5...I went to McDonalds to get a Diet Dr. Pepper. Should not have been a problem except that it took almost 6 minutes for them to get me change...and I thought I was saving time by NOT going through the drive thru....who knew...

Stumbling Block #6...my usual route to JayVee's house had some major construction issues so I decided to roll the dice and take 610...lucky for me the Loop was clear and I made record time.

So despite all the obstacles thrown my way, I still managed to get to JayVee's house in good time and we got to church right on time. JayVee's handsome hubby who I call "The Hunk" drove us and dropped us at the front door while he parked the car and then joined us. I love a gentleman...and yes, The Hunk drives a big ass truck...just part of his charm...I keep telling him to clone himself for me since he already belongs to JayVee.

I loved it that JayVee told me I could wear jeans. As we walked up EVERYONE was casually dressed. I liked that...

As someone who was raised in the most formal of churches---the Episcopal Church---it was refreshing to not have to put on a dress and heels. I am aware that many churches, even Episcopalian ones, are "casual" these days but for me this was a first.

We walked in and I saw...

A ROCK BAND!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah...this was my kind of church!

A drummer, electric guitars, a keyboardist and several singers...the church had me at "blue jeans" but sealed the deal with the praise and worship band...

The music was fantastic...I stood right on up and sang my heart out and clapped along and enjoy every song.

Then the pastor came out.

He was young and handsome. Dressed in jeans and a sweater.

My kind of guy.

He told us that he was going to discuss "LSD"...and that he liked saying LSD at church.

"LSD" stands for Love, Sex, and Dating...

And the church is doing a 4 part series on it.

So Pastor Kenny starts the talk off by saying...and wow this is TRUE wisdom...

"Are you the person that the person you are looking for is looking for?"

Wow....that is so very true.

Now even if you are married, are you the person that the person you are with should/will want to be with?

I want to be the person who a handsome guy who drives a big ass truck and brings me lilies and has a good job and will watch Modern Family is looking for!

I think I am...I mean, I'm not being conceited here but I think I am a damn good cook, a not-bad looking woman, I can entertain, I can be funny, and I can drive a big ass truck if a man needs me to.

So yeah, I think I AM the person that the person I am looking for is looking for.

As an example he used Tim Tebow and Katy Perry.

It seems Katy Perry's mother feels that her daughter and Tebow should meet and date.

Ummmmm.....wow....

No, Tim Tebow IS NOT LOOKING KATY PERRY OR ANYONE LIKE KATY PERRY...

Good example.

I'm not looking for Tim Tebow. I'm looking for a man, 40-52 years old that drives a big ass truck, preferably has kids (yes, I would enjoy that), is smart and funny and handsome and knows to order me stoli or red wine. A sexy beast in a Chevy truck that has a good job. I think that kind of man just might like a woman like me.

He went on to say (yes, I took notes...I have never done that in church before) that if you believe that there is just ONE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU then he knows exactly where you can find that ONE RIGHT PERSON...

"behind the unicorn and the oompah loompah over in the corner there!"

Because that "one right person" is a myth...we can have more than one right person...and a lot of wrong persons.

Mind you he was NOT advocating that we have more than one partner in our lives...but rather that sometimes we THINK we have met the perfect person but that may not be it...or that we may meet someone who is perfect but for some reason we may lose that person but still have the hope to move on to the next right person.

Remember, he was talking about DATING here...he was not talking about plural marriage or affairs.

He then started talking about how we help our children when they ask us about "will I know when I find the right one?"

That is a scary question to answer.

He read us a very funny letter written by a 14 year old boy to his 13 year old girlfriend who was going on a church retreat.

I don't know how he got the letter but it was hilarious...

So full of "I love you so much" things that a 14 year old boy who BELIEVES he is in love would say.

"God bless the broken road that brought me to you baby"

At least he knows how to quote Rascal Flats lyrics.

Toooooooo funny....

He then told us to let God work on us, shape us and be with HIM...

Great advice...I have been trying to do that.

He said not to rush into engagements for marriage...because love is blind but marriage is an eye opener.

Um yeah...

And that the young cute thing you love will one day have hair growing out of his ears and nose and that she will have batwings.

See...back to the batwing thing again...it's haunting me...

He also said that he knew someone was going to come up to him and say "but I know this great couple that got married after only a month"...

And his answer to that..."well there are people who survive going over Niagra Falls in a barrel but I don't recommend that either".

True....so true

More wisdom:

"You will never meet the right person in the wrong place."

Thank goodness for me that the only "club" I hang out in is my fitness/country club.

And yes, I think it is perfectly appropriate for me to meet the "right" man at the gym or at the
club bar...because I am probably the youngest person at the club bar...just sayin'...not a hotbed of singleton activity.

He went on to say much much more...and did a great talk to the men in the congregation about how to treat their wives and girlfriends.

You can hear more on this subject and the rest of the talks at:

www.thebridgefellowship.com

They don't have today's lesson up but they do have last week's.

Go to the "messages online" section then go to "Bridge Audio" and then scroll to the bottom of the page and click on LSD...

I plan to return to that church...a lot...and not just for the LSD series...

I needed that message today...and I am so happy that I made it to church with JayVee and the Hunk...

After the service I told them both how much I loved them...how lucky and blessed I was with their love and caring of me and their friendship.

God used JayVee as his instrument today...to get me to church to hear a message.

A message in a church I was very comfortable in and felt loved and welcomed in.

There was no stained glass...
No communion
No big cross
No hymns
No man in a robe
No kneelers
No needlepoint cushions
No fancy altar
No flowers
No candles
No dress, heels and hose

But there was a man in jeans and a sweater, an awesome praise and worship rock band...and an incredible message.

There is nothing wrong with a stained glass church with a man in a robe leading the hymns, but for me I think I need to shake things up a bit and try something a bit different.

Everyone's got their something...mine happens to be in Sugarland at The Bridge Fellowship I think...

I know I will fall in love again...with the RIGHT person this time...with a person who is looking for a woman like me.

In the meantime I fell in love with a church...and fell back in love with worshipping God...because I think I found the church that is looking for someone like me because I am looking for a church like that.

So to my sweet JayVee...I love you sistah! I love you for asking me to join you and your wonderful family at church and I love you for loving me...

The man in the big ass truck will come...in the meantime I have the Man Upstairs to love me and for me to love...

I love God...

I love Jesus for the sacrifice He made for me...

And I love worshipping him in my jeans...and listening to a pastor who made me laugh...and made me think...and made me see that love will come my way again with the perfect person that He (God) has for me...

All I have to do is wait...and be ready when that man in the big ass truck comes to me...he can drive a car too...

Inspiration Song: "If I Could Fall in Love" by Lenny Kravitz from the Blue Crush soundtrack. Lousy movie...good music...

Bye Darlings...try something new and different...you might fall in love...I did today...with a church...