I'm Not Gonna Let it Bother Me Tonight

Ok, so yesterday I confessed my dirty little secret...my love affair with chips and dip.

I am happy to say I am on the road to recovery and NO chips or dip passed my lips today!

I am now facing a weekend in New Orleans (which I will refer to as NOLA for brevity here)...I am going with GOTT and GOTTESS and friends for the Bacchus Ball...

(Right now you are all jealous...come on...admit it...I'm going to a Mardi Gras Ball...and WILL FERRELL is the king! and yes, I plan to have a very very good time!!!).

I should be packing right now but instead I am writing this blog...because I hate to pack. I just can't be bothered with it tonight...I still have tomorrow...and part of Friday...

The last time I had to pack for a trip I got distracted...I headed to the club restaurant after Body Pump to pick up dinner and had a glass of wine while waiting on my dinner order and came home and ended up packing half of my wardrobe because I had wine...and got into a conversation with a new friend while there and he kept me laughing a little too long...

Tonight I did NOT have wine but I DID have a martini so I think it best not to pack while "on" vodka...

Now THAT'S funny...I won't pack on vodka but I will blog...you never know what I might type...

So I will pack tomorrow....and yes, I am packing vodka...and wine...

I think NOLA will be my biggest challenge yet...

NOLA has amazing food...

And I will not be able to workout for 3 days...my body might just shut down on me.

The last time I went to NOLA I was fat fat fat and I ate my way through the city. This time I plan to spend my calories wisely...I WILL indulge in some raw oysters and a Bloody Mary (or 2..or 3) at ACME Oyster Bar or Desire...and I WILL have beignets at Cafe DuMonde but I"m not wasting calories on stupid food.

Of course in NOLA there is no such thing as stupid food so I will probably eat my way to another pound or 2 that Dimples will have to punish me for.

Thank goodness for the Spanx...

When we return on Monday poor GOTTESS has to take a business trip to Europe (that very same night...she gets off one plane and gets on another) and GOTT and I have a rehearsal with the kids for One-Act Play Competition. Nothing like watching "The Diary of Anne Frank" while nursing a hangover...

We are going to have a great time...and I am not sure just how much I plan to tell you about it once it is over...but I will post a photo of me and the ballgown...

I don't have a date...well, TECHNICALLY I don't have a date but since there are 3 married couples going and 2 single girls (I am one), I have declared that SuSu will be "my" date. Thank goodness I totally love and adore SuSu...and thank goodness she is "hot" so she will make me look good.

SuSu is of Chinese descent. I love to hear her on the phone with her mother. She speaks...oh heavens...I think it is Mandarin...but it turns into a Chinese form of Spanglish when she talks to her...

It goes something like this....

mandarin mandarin mandarin mandarin "bagel" mandarin mandarin mandarin "halloween" mandarin mandarin mandarin....

you get the picture...

I want her to teach me some Mandarin while we are in NOLA...I might use it on Hot Guy at Gym just to confuse him. When I saw him tonight I told him my date was SuSu he seemed confused...but I straightened him out that I was "straight" and just joking...

Of course me being me and loving gay couples as well as straight, I will say that if I was gonna have a "girl" date that I would do very well to have SuSu on my arm...and so she will be...

Since I have been indulging in all the chip'n'dippage I went and bought some Spanx today...I bought a collection of Spanx...gotta see what works under the dress...I am sure I will be a miserable soul by the end of the evening but I think vodka will ease my pain...

So I informed GOTT today that I WOULD be checking a bag for the flight.

GOTT was not pleased but because he loves me he will deal with it.

GOTTESS will also be checking a bag...I informed him of that as well. He was not pleased. But because he loves her he will deal with it.

GOTTESS told me tonight her bag for her business trip is smaller than her bag for NOLA...that is why I love GOTTESS...and that is why we are "sister wives"...we are cut from the same cloth.

I told GOTT I had to check a bag because all of my hair products and cosmetics would not fit into the tiny little regulation bag that is required for carry-on bags...so I had to check it.

That and the fact that I must travel with my own pillow...a temperpedic...which weighs about 5 pounds...

Add that to the list of things that will annoy the new man in my life:
she must travel with her own pillow

Once "he" (whoever "he" may be) knows that, combined with the Sephora counter that is my bathroom, my DSW shoe collection in my closet, and my propensity to call vodka "Holy Water", "he" might just run for the hills...

If he stays we should pity the fool...

Other "annoyances" about me...

I'm scared to death of cockroaches
I have terrible ADD
I'm a great cook but hate to clean the kitchen after and I make a terrible mess
I am obsessed with working out
I won't order fries but I will eat them off your plate
I insist that everyone at the table tell me what they are ordering then I change my mind 10 times
I annoy waiters with my propensity to order things not as they are on the menu
I will talk to a wall...or the guy at the Sonic...or the valet guy...but they all end up loving me...even the wall
I cry at movies...tv shows...and commercials...
I will read 3 books at once...and sometimes have to take all of them with me when I travel (I think I need a Kindle)
I overpack...I really really really overpack for a trip
I like shoes and clothes...a lot
I wear Angel perfume...which apparently attracts men but annoys some of the people at the gym so much that one felt compelled to email the club manager that while I smelled "quite nice" it was too strong...so far no one at the bar has complained about it.

There is more...so much more...but there is only so much I expect you to read.

I do have my good traits but I fear that my bad ones will overshadow the good ones and that some poor man will think I'm a good idea for a while and then decide that I am too much work and that he needs a 12 step program to detox from me...and the Angel perfume...

So yeah...I'm a bit of a bother...but maybe some day some man will find me worth it.

Thank goodness I have GOTT...being my "work spouse" he puts up with all of that and more...and he has the patience of a saint to do so...and he lovingly listens as I spout my worries to him and he counsels me...

and that is why I love him...

And that is why he has promised me that he will not allow me to drink any hurricanes while we are in NOLA...because he cares for me and takes care of me...because I am basically his bad hellion of a big sister as well as work spouse.

But I told him I WAS allowed all the vodka I could handle and one daiquiri on Bourbon Street per day.

He's agreeable to that...

And that, is why I love him...and I love GOTTESS for sharing him with me...

And I love SuSu...cause she's my "date"....

Now I am off to bed before I succumb to the siren call of the last remains of the jalapeno dip that is in the fridge...

I'll keep you posted...I should be packing but I can't be bothered with it tonight!

Inspiration Song: "I'm Not Gonna Let it Bother Me Tonight" by the Atlanta Rhythm Section...and if you don't know who ARS is, well once again I will say you are too young to be reading this blog...or maybe I need to give you a lesson in 70's great music...I love ARS...

Bye Darlings...I should be packing but I'm not gonna be bothered by it tonight...like Scarlett O'Hara...I'll think about it tomorrow...