The school year is coming to a close...I tend to measure my years not in calendar years anymore but rather school years. I've been doing that since Ke$ha Barbie started school.
So now my year is coming to a close...and summer vacation is ahead of me...
so I look back on this past year and I see what I have gained and lost...some of it pounds, some of it baggage...some of it...well some of it was a husband.
The school year started with me having to go to the school and do the day of first aid and CPR training...that was where the head of school announced I had lost 63 pounds to the entire faculty and staff.
EMBARRASSING....
Guess what...I have doubled that number...more than doubled it...yippeeeeeee.....
The school year also started with football.
Now I like football but don't love it...well, maybe I love it when my son plays but otherwise...
notsomuch...
I do love lacrosse...don't ask me why...I still can't figure out that game but there is something about how crazy it is that totally appeals to me...
I think my new ambition should be to become a lax bro...
anyhoo....
so the school year started with football...
That would not be really significant except that football gave me the greatest gift of all...
DIMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You see, Dimples, the best trainer in the world and my personal therapist and adopted baby brother, is the bomb...and he was The Cutest Boy In the World's football coach.
A friend of mine who coached one of the other teams introduced me to Dimples. He (my friend) was afraid that we weren't going to get along all that well...
hahahahahahahahahaha....
we get along a little too well...he is not only my personal trainer and therapist but some day he needs to show up in a priest's collar because I confess ALL my sins to him...and some of them he figures out on his own.
We get along just fine...but my friend was afraid that I was going to kill a coach...be it him or his assistant...
all coaches were alive and well at the end of football season.
This same friend did the same thing with the lacrosse coaches...he introduced me and then warned one of them that I possessed witch powers. He warned the poor guy that if he didn't do my bidding I would "make the monkeys fly" (a reference to the Wicked Witch of the West and her flying monkeys). That coach never made me call out the flying monkeys but I did enjoy him fearing me for a bit...but now he loves me...
That's my talent...I get coaches to do my bidding or at least think I am awesome...
Not sure Dimples thinks I am awesome but he SOMETIMES does my bidding...and for some strange reason I do his bidding...
except for jumping jacks...still saying "no" to those...
But I digress...
So football season comes with the start of school and I discover that Dimples is not just the best football coach ever...he is a personal trainer.
So one day we have a conversation that goes like this:
Me: So, what do you do when you aren't coaching football to 7th grade boys?
Dimples: I am a personal trainer.
Me: So, do you train "real" people or just athletes?
Dimples: No, I train real people too...
Me: do you train housewives?
Dimples: yes
Me: Do you want a challenge?
he looked at me with a puzzled look...
Me: I am the challenge...you game?
Poor baby didn't stand a chance...he said yes and I think he regrets and loves it all at the same time...
School year rolled along...I lost weight, my son's football team went undefeated, Dimples started training me and I got fit and lost more weight.
After the holidays I decided to lose 260 more pounds...
in the form of a husband...
So I moved on from a husband but realized that I really had a second chance to live my life...
I have a second chance to find someone to spend my life with...
I have a second chance to keep my body in shape and stay fit and trim and more importantly, stay healthy...
I have a second chance at moving my life forward...
I wish I had a second chance to meet Oprah....but you know what, once might just be enough because it was a dream come true...
I spent the year moving toward my second chance...
So now I have my second chance...a second chance to live a new life...in a better body, with a better frame of mind, with all the good things about my life still intact.
I'm excited to see what next year brings me...because this year has been great!
I know some of you might wonder how I can say things have been great when I am getting divorced but I can assure you it is one of the best things I have ever done...along with Dimples...and I have the greatest kids ever that just keep amazing me day-by-day...
I"v been given a second chance to get it right this time...with my health...with my life...with my love...
And I am damn lucky...
And as for summer vacation...well, that is for laying in the sun and enjoying my kids...and keeping on the path of health and wellness I have maintained this year. I may take a vacation from being "super volunteer" but I won't take a vacation from the rest of it.
And next year...well, I'm not gonna worry about next year...I still have 3 months of fun in the sun to enjoy before that comes about....
So for now...I will be grateful for the second chance I have...and I thank God and all of you for it...
Inspiration Song: "Second Chance" by Peter Bjorn and John...very very very cool song...I have to listen to it every day...really...
Bye Darlings...go and find your second chance...at whatever...
Showing posts with label Ke$ha Barbie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ke$ha Barbie. Show all posts
Friday, May 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
You Can Do It
"You can do it...Nothing to it!"
Fabulous words of advice...
Given to me by the Amazing Katherine during our spin class with Spinderella today.
I was pushing hard to get through the heavy tension I had on my bike and the Amazing Katherine looks at me and says:
"you can do it! Nothing to it!"
I think I need to embroider that onto a pillow...in shiny gold fibers!
The Amazing Katherine is my favorite and best cheerleader...very soon I am going to dedicate an entire blog to her and her family's foundation that benefits people with intellectual disabilities...The Amazing Katherine is just that...AMAZING!
And of course my other amazing person...Dimples...today he got me to a new level...we burned through over 400 calories (trust me, that is big...wear a heart monitor and you will understand how hard you have to work for a 400 calorie burn)!
So between spin and my workout with Dimples I could pretty much eat a pint of Blue Bell...or fried chicken...
but I don't want to...
I'm even shunning wine (during the week...weekends are fair game)to keep the weight loss shred going. Despite my litte flirtation with ruining my diet on Saturday I am below where I was that morning...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dimples is like the Amazing Katherine...he is always telling me I can do it...even when I think there is no way I possibly can.
Like today...when he set the 20 lb. handweights (they are big suckers) on the ground and had me do pushups while holding the handles...
I said "no way"
he said "yes, you can"
and I did...
and then he had me do the same thing but do a leg thrust out and in and stand up in between each push up...
again I said "no way"
and he said "yes, you can!"
and I did...
and then he had me get into the pushup position, balance myself and pick up a weight (while balancing on my feet and one arm like a tripod) and pull it back for 10 reps...each side...
again I said "absolutely no way I can do that"
he said "try 5"
I did 10...each side...
and then he said "now put it all together"...yowza...
and this little voice in my head said:
You can do it, Nothing to it...
So the Amazing Katherine's comment got me thinking...while I was waiting on my car to get the oil changed...that we all tend to limit ourselves.
Dimples always tells me not to ...he tells me I can do things and that it is mind over matter...and he finds ways to encourage me when I think I can't do the last 2 or 3 reps of something because he reminds me I have already done 13 or 18...
And the Amazing Katherine always tells me I can do it just when I think I can't push my legs any faster or harder on the spin bike...
it's that bit of encouragement we all need...
I've written about this before...how we can do things we think we can't. Too often we stand in our OWN way more than anything or anyone else does.
It's really about finding a way to push yourself through...or to just say "yes I can" or to rearrange things so that it is possible.
Today Ke$ha Barbie informed me that I am a happier and easier to deal with mother since I have been working out. She says that my attitude has improved and that...wow, this almost HURTS to write because it sorta hurt my feelings...she "likes me more" these days.
Hmmmmmmmmmm...not sure how I feel about that, really...
was I not likable before?
or is just that she is basically Beelzebub most days and like most teenage girls she thinks her mother is:
stupid
dumb
out-of-touch
knows nothing
worthless
full of useless advice
can't do anything right
is a fashion disaster with no fashion sense
too picky
too critical
and
really really crazy
I know I felt that way about my mother...until I realized that not only was she the most beautiful woman in the world she was also the wisest and most wonderful.
But at 17 Ke$ha Barbie just sees me as a cook, maid, and banker...most days...
Maybe when dealing with her I need to say my affirmation:
You can do it, Nothing to it...
because she often makes me...
CRAZY
but I digress...as usual...
(although I think I am hearing an "amen" from the choir of moms who have teenage daughters)
Back to "what we can and can't do"...
I do have moments when I amaze myself with what I can do now...and it never fails to hit me when I run, yes RUN, up the stairs that changed my life. Because I do it now without being winded...in stillettos...
The fact that I can wear stillettos amazes me too...yet sometimes I still have to tell my feet "you can do it"...
When I run I am surprised that I can...because I thought that there was no way, no how I was going to run...but I should have listened to Dollface and kept the running to a minimum because my knee is still giving me a bit of pain...
I'm always surprised by how quickly my heartrate recovers when I am working out...the fact that my heart, once working so hard to pump blood through my fat body, can beat now to an athletic pace...well, that just really floors me.
Our bodies can do so much more than we think they can...our only limits are what we tell ourselves we can't do...and yes, sometimes things like bad joints, bulging disks, and real injuries can limit us...but they shouldn't STOP us.
So I am going to make a pledge to myself...for the next week I am NOT going to say I can't do something...I'm just going to do it when asked...
let's see how that works for me...
Inspiration Song: "You Can Do It" by the Brand New Heavies...funky little band I found a few years ago when I heard another song of theirs.
Bye Darlings...You Can Do it...Nothing to It!
Fabulous words of advice...
Given to me by the Amazing Katherine during our spin class with Spinderella today.
I was pushing hard to get through the heavy tension I had on my bike and the Amazing Katherine looks at me and says:
"you can do it! Nothing to it!"
I think I need to embroider that onto a pillow...in shiny gold fibers!
The Amazing Katherine is my favorite and best cheerleader...very soon I am going to dedicate an entire blog to her and her family's foundation that benefits people with intellectual disabilities...The Amazing Katherine is just that...AMAZING!
And of course my other amazing person...Dimples...today he got me to a new level...we burned through over 400 calories (trust me, that is big...wear a heart monitor and you will understand how hard you have to work for a 400 calorie burn)!
So between spin and my workout with Dimples I could pretty much eat a pint of Blue Bell...or fried chicken...
but I don't want to...
I'm even shunning wine (during the week...weekends are fair game)to keep the weight loss shred going. Despite my litte flirtation with ruining my diet on Saturday I am below where I was that morning...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dimples is like the Amazing Katherine...he is always telling me I can do it...even when I think there is no way I possibly can.
Like today...when he set the 20 lb. handweights (they are big suckers) on the ground and had me do pushups while holding the handles...
I said "no way"
he said "yes, you can"
and I did...
and then he had me do the same thing but do a leg thrust out and in and stand up in between each push up...
again I said "no way"
and he said "yes, you can!"
and I did...
and then he had me get into the pushup position, balance myself and pick up a weight (while balancing on my feet and one arm like a tripod) and pull it back for 10 reps...each side...
again I said "absolutely no way I can do that"
he said "try 5"
I did 10...each side...
and then he said "now put it all together"...yowza...
and this little voice in my head said:
You can do it, Nothing to it...
So the Amazing Katherine's comment got me thinking...while I was waiting on my car to get the oil changed...that we all tend to limit ourselves.
Dimples always tells me not to ...he tells me I can do things and that it is mind over matter...and he finds ways to encourage me when I think I can't do the last 2 or 3 reps of something because he reminds me I have already done 13 or 18...
And the Amazing Katherine always tells me I can do it just when I think I can't push my legs any faster or harder on the spin bike...
it's that bit of encouragement we all need...
I've written about this before...how we can do things we think we can't. Too often we stand in our OWN way more than anything or anyone else does.
It's really about finding a way to push yourself through...or to just say "yes I can" or to rearrange things so that it is possible.
Today Ke$ha Barbie informed me that I am a happier and easier to deal with mother since I have been working out. She says that my attitude has improved and that...wow, this almost HURTS to write because it sorta hurt my feelings...she "likes me more" these days.
Hmmmmmmmmmm...not sure how I feel about that, really...
was I not likable before?
or is just that she is basically Beelzebub most days and like most teenage girls she thinks her mother is:
stupid
dumb
out-of-touch
knows nothing
worthless
full of useless advice
can't do anything right
is a fashion disaster with no fashion sense
too picky
too critical
and
really really crazy
I know I felt that way about my mother...until I realized that not only was she the most beautiful woman in the world she was also the wisest and most wonderful.
But at 17 Ke$ha Barbie just sees me as a cook, maid, and banker...most days...
Maybe when dealing with her I need to say my affirmation:
You can do it, Nothing to it...
because she often makes me...
CRAZY
but I digress...as usual...
(although I think I am hearing an "amen" from the choir of moms who have teenage daughters)
Back to "what we can and can't do"...
I do have moments when I amaze myself with what I can do now...and it never fails to hit me when I run, yes RUN, up the stairs that changed my life. Because I do it now without being winded...in stillettos...
The fact that I can wear stillettos amazes me too...yet sometimes I still have to tell my feet "you can do it"...
When I run I am surprised that I can...because I thought that there was no way, no how I was going to run...but I should have listened to Dollface and kept the running to a minimum because my knee is still giving me a bit of pain...
I'm always surprised by how quickly my heartrate recovers when I am working out...the fact that my heart, once working so hard to pump blood through my fat body, can beat now to an athletic pace...well, that just really floors me.
Our bodies can do so much more than we think they can...our only limits are what we tell ourselves we can't do...and yes, sometimes things like bad joints, bulging disks, and real injuries can limit us...but they shouldn't STOP us.
So I am going to make a pledge to myself...for the next week I am NOT going to say I can't do something...I'm just going to do it when asked...
let's see how that works for me...
Inspiration Song: "You Can Do It" by the Brand New Heavies...funky little band I found a few years ago when I heard another song of theirs.
Bye Darlings...You Can Do it...Nothing to It!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Crazy Beautiful Life
"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death"---Mame Dennis
That might just be THE BEST (or at least ONE OF THE BEST) lines ever spoken in a movie. As I started to type this blog I was watching the incomparable Rosalind Russell portraying Mame Dennis in the movie "Auntie Mame" which is one of my all-time favorite movies. There is not another movie that can make me laugh and cry as much as that one does.
But that line has a lot of truth in it...most of us don't even go up to the banquet...we just sit and starve ourselves of experiences. And we do it (starve ourselves of life experiences) out of fear, laziness, bad prioritizing, distraction, over-scheduling, ignorance, and/or lack of motivation to just TRY something.
I want to go to the banquet...and I want to try everything...and I don't mean food...
The last few days I have done my level best to experience "crazy" and I don't mean at the mall...I'm avoiding that at all costs.
No, I'm just talking about everyday, garden-variety crazy...
Let's start with Thursday.
I had a great spin class with J'taime Jamie and then an awesome workout with Coach Dimples. I know, 2 workouts in one day may seem crazy, but it's really more like doing some cardio and then your weight workout so it's not THAT crazy. I call it my "two-a-days"...after all, I am working with a football coach. After my Dimples time I dashed out to get a haircut from my French/Spanish hairdresser who I shall just call by his name because I can't come up anything better...Fernando. Isn't that the most perfect name for a French Spaniard that is gorgeous?
Fernando and I have been together for over 21 years. We have lasted longer than many marriages (including one of his). We have survived divorces (his), re-marriages (his), miscarriages (mine), deaths of friends and family (both of us), children trauma (both of us). We have grown up and grown middle-aged together. When I first became his client his hair was longer than mine...not anymore..
So Fernando cuts my hair and then after drying it he whips out the curling iron and starts to turn me into a vision of a fat Victoria's Secret model. I told him I was headed to church...I swear I think he thought I said "club". So I showed up at "Lessons and Carols" at the church looking a bit like a woman who was looking for a dance partner. Oh well, the 14 year old girls loved it...
After "Lessons..." I went with GOTT and his family to see a production of...well, I won't say because, sadly, it was pretty dreadful. It is a show that is dear to GOTT and I but this particular production brought me to tears---and not in a good way. Because the director totally ruined the show...he ruined a beautiful show with a beautiful message. At least the actors looked like they were having fun...
And then I came home to the teenage party...crazy Thursday...
Friday amped up the crazy...
Christmas Breakfast for the middle school and Lessons and Carols at my son's school was on board for the morning. The crazy hair was still curly so I just left it and rolled with it. I helped GOTT and TTG with the Lessons and Carols (basically a church service where we sing carols and the story of Jesus' birth is told). I got to play stage manager on Stage left and wore a headset so I cold hear GOTT booming through with instructions like God from above. GOTT likes to talk into the headset throughout the shows so I got a running commentary and his instructions to the light board operator and spotlight boys along with enjoying songs like "Breath of Heaven"...confusing to say the least...after saying "Merry Christmas" to our friends at school and having lunch, my boys left to go hunting and I hit the gym after conferring with Dimples as to whether I needed a day off...I didn't so I went...
But that wasn't the crazy part of the day.
Crazy came later...
I had 2 parties to go to that night. For someone who NEVER has a social life, having 2 things to do the same night was a bit of a thrill...and frustrating as I didn't want to miss a moment of either party.
First up was an all-girls affair at MizLiz's house. GREAT party. GREAT fun. GREAT group of girls. Hard to tear myself away. I was so excited to be invited to hang with that fun group of girls that I was happy to hear that next year she and the hostesses of the other party were going to confer before setting dates so that she and the rest of us can fully enjoy BOTH parties!
So after a little champagne, lamb chops, and gossip I head to the C&B's party held at the C's house. GREAT party. GREAT fun. Got to see all my friends. Everyone looked gorgeous and I do mean gorgeous! And I got to see some friends I don't get to see all the time (shout out to my girlfriend PB who I just discovered is also a South Texas Chica...no wonder I love her so...) and it was pretty nice to slink around the party in something cute instead of a tent.
I was rocking a couture dress...from TARGET. (Tar-zhay if you please...).
All yours for $29...
I avoided the crazy at that party by declining to sip Goldshlagger from the ice sculpture. There was no way that was going to work out for me. Didn't want to mess up the $29 dress. Plus it was time to move on to Diet Coke...
Crazy happened after I left...
I went outside to the valet to get my car. My feet were KILLING me in my stilleto boots (I had them on all day except for gym time) and it was midnight so Cinderella was ready to leave the ball. You know, because of the shoes...and Fairy Godmother's magic only lasts so long. Plus I had a teenager home and her curfew was earlier than mine...
So I'm waiting for my car and my friend's husband comes out to get their car and we start talking about working out, excercise,the Racquet Club, spin class, my weight loss etc. This is a man I have known for about 6 years...very sweet guy. So we are talking and laughing and I don't really notice the guy or guys also waiting for cars. I'm just talking to my friend. My car comes and I hug him goodbye and tell him to wish his wife a Merry Christmas and get in my car and go home.
I'm home about 20 minutes (boots OFF! false eyelashes OFF! makeup OFF!) and I get a call from the house where the party is. I start thinking I must have left something there or something must have dropped out of my purse because why else would someone call at 12:25 at night? I answer the phone and my friend K informs me that I caused a fight.
A fight?
How did I cause a fight? I was gone from the party...
But it seems that some bozo waiting for his car while my friend and I were talking decided after I left that he thought my friend was bothering me.
Bothering me?
We were talking about WORKING OUT and laughing about it...we are FRIENDS.
But the other guy was drunk and decided to make something out of it. Apparently, he thought he was defending my honor...against a man who was asking me how I can stand to be on the arc trainer for more than 5 minutes.
Maybe he (the drunk) hates running on the treadmill as much as I do and felt the need to say something...LOL...
Or maybe, and this is the part I hate, it was because my friend is of a different culture that this guy decided to get ugly with him. And if that is it, may the guy burn...because my friends are my people...it has nothing to do with culture, religion, sexual preference, or sex of the person---I am blind to the oustide of people but only care about the inside of people and their hearts. But sadly that is the theory of at least one witness/bystander as to why the guy got so hot with my friend. I think it was called "Jack Daniels" or maybe "Johnnie Walker"...
But in any case he got ugly with my friend and punches were thrown.
I looked ok that night but not enought to start a ballroom brawl.
My friend was fine and the drunk got taken home by someone else and now I have a very silly story to tell.
And THAT my friends is CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY...
Saturday came and went with little to no crazy...I worked out, I had lunch with a former student, I had a blast taking photos of my friend Jay Vee and her wonderful family, and I had a great dinner with my friend Tiny Dy-no-mite and her husband who took us out for a great meal and conversation. Don't you love a good day?
But here is the BEST part of my day...I jumped on the scale and I HAD TO MOVE THE BIG BAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!! I was under 200. I weighed myself 7 times (ok, I guess that is CRAZY). I jumped off and on that scale 7 times. I weighed myself again after working out. I texted Dimples and professed my undying love for him and the damn hill and the black rubberband and promised to be a good girl and drag his cute ass up that hill endlessly. He was super proud of me. I told him "who needs Santa when I have you"...
I'll confess when I looked at the scale...I cried...
So since Saturday was (relatively---except for the weighing myself a bajillion times) crazy free I guess I thought I needed to double the crazy for today. But today's crazy is all me...all me and my doing and my OCD...
Crazy #1:
I got on the scale this morning. Dimples told me not to do this but I am compelled by my OCD to weigh myself every day...sometimes more than once. I was back over 200. In a big way. Like 3 pounds. So how did I gain 5 pounds in one day? I know know know that I didn't screw up the scale yesterday when it went down, but today's number made me cry---again. I haven't confessed this to Dimples because I know I will get a (sweetly given) lecture---remember, he's good at talking "woman" these days. But really, does the scale have to screw with my emotions so much? I know I shouldn't let it, but it does...
Crazy #2:
I got to the gym, set myself up a spin bike, got my towels and water, was strapping on my cycle shoes and I discover that I have left my heart monitor at home. I consider just jumping on the bike and going but my OCD got the better of me and I knew I couldn't do the workout without the heart monitor. So I went home to get it. Yes, I was totally ready to get on the bike...the iPod was even going, but no heart monitor meant I didn't know how hard I was working so I went home to get it. Problem was, I was out of gas so I had to gas up before going home. That little adventure cost me 20 minutes. How OCD is that? That I would do all of that just to be sure I could tell how hard I was working? Really? Really...
And then I spent 75 minutes on the spin bike and did weights...because of the scale thing...that makes #2 double crazy...
Crazy #3:
I called my friend K back to make sure I wasn't drunk or dreaming the fight story...I wasn't (drunk or dreaming)...it really happened...not sure whether to be ashamed, embarrassed, or think it is funny as hell...
Crazy #4:
I got on the treadmill and ran...even though I am not supposed to. Shhhh...don't tell Dimples! I only did 1/2 mile...but I might sneak back on it tomorrow...the crazy part is that I WANTED to run, even with my knee. Even crazier...it doesn't hurt...actually since it didn't hurt Dimples won't mind...and he will expect me to do more running on Tuesday when we train. He showed up last week and informed me that a better use of my time, when I beat him to the park, would be for me to run or walk fast around the track to get my heartrate up instead of checking my email. Since I like being "teacher's pet" I guess I will be running when he arrives next time. Again, I don't know why I am so compliant with that man...oh yes...he is helping me change my body...that's why...
Crazy #5:
My daughter had dinner with me tonight. In a restaurant. With her boyfriend...
Yes, Ke$ha Barbie eating with me in public with her boyfriend is crazy...and beautiful...
I had more crazy today---shopping at Target, Toys R Us, and Best By (for a family we have "adopted" for Xmas), and I almost got hit by 3 cars as I walked across the parking lot.
Yes, it was a crazy day...
I hope yours was much much saner...but given the time of year, I doubt it...
Inspiration Song: "Crazy Beatiful Life" by Ke$ha...I love her music, even if she constantly sings about getting drunk...it is fun to run/workout/spin to...
Bye Darlings...embrace the crazy...it's better than fighting it...
That might just be THE BEST (or at least ONE OF THE BEST) lines ever spoken in a movie. As I started to type this blog I was watching the incomparable Rosalind Russell portraying Mame Dennis in the movie "Auntie Mame" which is one of my all-time favorite movies. There is not another movie that can make me laugh and cry as much as that one does.
But that line has a lot of truth in it...most of us don't even go up to the banquet...we just sit and starve ourselves of experiences. And we do it (starve ourselves of life experiences) out of fear, laziness, bad prioritizing, distraction, over-scheduling, ignorance, and/or lack of motivation to just TRY something.
I want to go to the banquet...and I want to try everything...and I don't mean food...
The last few days I have done my level best to experience "crazy" and I don't mean at the mall...I'm avoiding that at all costs.
No, I'm just talking about everyday, garden-variety crazy...
Let's start with Thursday.
I had a great spin class with J'taime Jamie and then an awesome workout with Coach Dimples. I know, 2 workouts in one day may seem crazy, but it's really more like doing some cardio and then your weight workout so it's not THAT crazy. I call it my "two-a-days"...after all, I am working with a football coach. After my Dimples time I dashed out to get a haircut from my French/Spanish hairdresser who I shall just call by his name because I can't come up anything better...Fernando. Isn't that the most perfect name for a French Spaniard that is gorgeous?
Fernando and I have been together for over 21 years. We have lasted longer than many marriages (including one of his). We have survived divorces (his), re-marriages (his), miscarriages (mine), deaths of friends and family (both of us), children trauma (both of us). We have grown up and grown middle-aged together. When I first became his client his hair was longer than mine...not anymore..
So Fernando cuts my hair and then after drying it he whips out the curling iron and starts to turn me into a vision of a fat Victoria's Secret model. I told him I was headed to church...I swear I think he thought I said "club". So I showed up at "Lessons and Carols" at the church looking a bit like a woman who was looking for a dance partner. Oh well, the 14 year old girls loved it...
After "Lessons..." I went with GOTT and his family to see a production of...well, I won't say because, sadly, it was pretty dreadful. It is a show that is dear to GOTT and I but this particular production brought me to tears---and not in a good way. Because the director totally ruined the show...he ruined a beautiful show with a beautiful message. At least the actors looked like they were having fun...
And then I came home to the teenage party...crazy Thursday...
Friday amped up the crazy...
Christmas Breakfast for the middle school and Lessons and Carols at my son's school was on board for the morning. The crazy hair was still curly so I just left it and rolled with it. I helped GOTT and TTG with the Lessons and Carols (basically a church service where we sing carols and the story of Jesus' birth is told). I got to play stage manager on Stage left and wore a headset so I cold hear GOTT booming through with instructions like God from above. GOTT likes to talk into the headset throughout the shows so I got a running commentary and his instructions to the light board operator and spotlight boys along with enjoying songs like "Breath of Heaven"...confusing to say the least...after saying "Merry Christmas" to our friends at school and having lunch, my boys left to go hunting and I hit the gym after conferring with Dimples as to whether I needed a day off...I didn't so I went...
But that wasn't the crazy part of the day.
Crazy came later...
I had 2 parties to go to that night. For someone who NEVER has a social life, having 2 things to do the same night was a bit of a thrill...and frustrating as I didn't want to miss a moment of either party.
First up was an all-girls affair at MizLiz's house. GREAT party. GREAT fun. GREAT group of girls. Hard to tear myself away. I was so excited to be invited to hang with that fun group of girls that I was happy to hear that next year she and the hostesses of the other party were going to confer before setting dates so that she and the rest of us can fully enjoy BOTH parties!
So after a little champagne, lamb chops, and gossip I head to the C&B's party held at the C's house. GREAT party. GREAT fun. Got to see all my friends. Everyone looked gorgeous and I do mean gorgeous! And I got to see some friends I don't get to see all the time (shout out to my girlfriend PB who I just discovered is also a South Texas Chica...no wonder I love her so...) and it was pretty nice to slink around the party in something cute instead of a tent.
I was rocking a couture dress...from TARGET. (Tar-zhay if you please...).
All yours for $29...
I avoided the crazy at that party by declining to sip Goldshlagger from the ice sculpture. There was no way that was going to work out for me. Didn't want to mess up the $29 dress. Plus it was time to move on to Diet Coke...
Crazy happened after I left...
I went outside to the valet to get my car. My feet were KILLING me in my stilleto boots (I had them on all day except for gym time) and it was midnight so Cinderella was ready to leave the ball. You know, because of the shoes...and Fairy Godmother's magic only lasts so long. Plus I had a teenager home and her curfew was earlier than mine...
So I'm waiting for my car and my friend's husband comes out to get their car and we start talking about working out, excercise,the Racquet Club, spin class, my weight loss etc. This is a man I have known for about 6 years...very sweet guy. So we are talking and laughing and I don't really notice the guy or guys also waiting for cars. I'm just talking to my friend. My car comes and I hug him goodbye and tell him to wish his wife a Merry Christmas and get in my car and go home.
I'm home about 20 minutes (boots OFF! false eyelashes OFF! makeup OFF!) and I get a call from the house where the party is. I start thinking I must have left something there or something must have dropped out of my purse because why else would someone call at 12:25 at night? I answer the phone and my friend K informs me that I caused a fight.
A fight?
How did I cause a fight? I was gone from the party...
But it seems that some bozo waiting for his car while my friend and I were talking decided after I left that he thought my friend was bothering me.
Bothering me?
We were talking about WORKING OUT and laughing about it...we are FRIENDS.
But the other guy was drunk and decided to make something out of it. Apparently, he thought he was defending my honor...against a man who was asking me how I can stand to be on the arc trainer for more than 5 minutes.
Maybe he (the drunk) hates running on the treadmill as much as I do and felt the need to say something...LOL...
Or maybe, and this is the part I hate, it was because my friend is of a different culture that this guy decided to get ugly with him. And if that is it, may the guy burn...because my friends are my people...it has nothing to do with culture, religion, sexual preference, or sex of the person---I am blind to the oustide of people but only care about the inside of people and their hearts. But sadly that is the theory of at least one witness/bystander as to why the guy got so hot with my friend. I think it was called "Jack Daniels" or maybe "Johnnie Walker"...
But in any case he got ugly with my friend and punches were thrown.
I looked ok that night but not enought to start a ballroom brawl.
My friend was fine and the drunk got taken home by someone else and now I have a very silly story to tell.
And THAT my friends is CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY...
Saturday came and went with little to no crazy...I worked out, I had lunch with a former student, I had a blast taking photos of my friend Jay Vee and her wonderful family, and I had a great dinner with my friend Tiny Dy-no-mite and her husband who took us out for a great meal and conversation. Don't you love a good day?
But here is the BEST part of my day...I jumped on the scale and I HAD TO MOVE THE BIG BAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!! I was under 200. I weighed myself 7 times (ok, I guess that is CRAZY). I jumped off and on that scale 7 times. I weighed myself again after working out. I texted Dimples and professed my undying love for him and the damn hill and the black rubberband and promised to be a good girl and drag his cute ass up that hill endlessly. He was super proud of me. I told him "who needs Santa when I have you"...
I'll confess when I looked at the scale...I cried...
So since Saturday was (relatively---except for the weighing myself a bajillion times) crazy free I guess I thought I needed to double the crazy for today. But today's crazy is all me...all me and my doing and my OCD...
Crazy #1:
I got on the scale this morning. Dimples told me not to do this but I am compelled by my OCD to weigh myself every day...sometimes more than once. I was back over 200. In a big way. Like 3 pounds. So how did I gain 5 pounds in one day? I know know know that I didn't screw up the scale yesterday when it went down, but today's number made me cry---again. I haven't confessed this to Dimples because I know I will get a (sweetly given) lecture---remember, he's good at talking "woman" these days. But really, does the scale have to screw with my emotions so much? I know I shouldn't let it, but it does...
Crazy #2:
I got to the gym, set myself up a spin bike, got my towels and water, was strapping on my cycle shoes and I discover that I have left my heart monitor at home. I consider just jumping on the bike and going but my OCD got the better of me and I knew I couldn't do the workout without the heart monitor. So I went home to get it. Yes, I was totally ready to get on the bike...the iPod was even going, but no heart monitor meant I didn't know how hard I was working so I went home to get it. Problem was, I was out of gas so I had to gas up before going home. That little adventure cost me 20 minutes. How OCD is that? That I would do all of that just to be sure I could tell how hard I was working? Really? Really...
And then I spent 75 minutes on the spin bike and did weights...because of the scale thing...that makes #2 double crazy...
Crazy #3:
I called my friend K back to make sure I wasn't drunk or dreaming the fight story...I wasn't (drunk or dreaming)...it really happened...not sure whether to be ashamed, embarrassed, or think it is funny as hell...
Crazy #4:
I got on the treadmill and ran...even though I am not supposed to. Shhhh...don't tell Dimples! I only did 1/2 mile...but I might sneak back on it tomorrow...the crazy part is that I WANTED to run, even with my knee. Even crazier...it doesn't hurt...actually since it didn't hurt Dimples won't mind...and he will expect me to do more running on Tuesday when we train. He showed up last week and informed me that a better use of my time, when I beat him to the park, would be for me to run or walk fast around the track to get my heartrate up instead of checking my email. Since I like being "teacher's pet" I guess I will be running when he arrives next time. Again, I don't know why I am so compliant with that man...oh yes...he is helping me change my body...that's why...
Crazy #5:
My daughter had dinner with me tonight. In a restaurant. With her boyfriend...
Yes, Ke$ha Barbie eating with me in public with her boyfriend is crazy...and beautiful...
I had more crazy today---shopping at Target, Toys R Us, and Best By (for a family we have "adopted" for Xmas), and I almost got hit by 3 cars as I walked across the parking lot.
Yes, it was a crazy day...
I hope yours was much much saner...but given the time of year, I doubt it...
Inspiration Song: "Crazy Beatiful Life" by Ke$ha...I love her music, even if she constantly sings about getting drunk...it is fun to run/workout/spin to...
Bye Darlings...embrace the crazy...it's better than fighting it...
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Show Me the Way
It is about to be "happy time" in my house. Mid-term finals are almost done.
For the last few days the black cloud of gloom and doom has hung over our house as my kids have been forced to study math, science, Spanish, English, and history.
Yesterday The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW)was studying for history. Bacchus, my wine god, is his teacher. Bacchus made a podcast and put it on his webpage for the kids to use as a study guide.
I was sitting across the house and suddenly I hear the booming voice of Bacchus, coming across the house like God himself talking to me...I hear this rambling stream of thought stuff as he lectures/informs the kids, via the podcast, what they need to know about the final.
It was pretty cool...even if it meant I had to hear Bacchus talking for like 10 minutes...
But then again, he likes to talk...a lot...
He likes to hear his own voice and fully admits to it.
He likes to talk...more...than...me...
That's saying a lot...
But what struck me, as I heard him going over the "need to know" stuff about various ancient empires, was how great technology is...and how lucky our kids are to live in this age.
That my son can hear a podcast and get a full lecture from his teacher.
He also has a smart board in every classroom. If you don't know what a smartboard is, let me tell you this...it is the coolest thing ever in a classroom. You touch it and it does things. It is a magic board!
I went to A&M in the dark ages when we still used computer punch cards to select our classes. My kids don't know what a punch card is...
Ke$ha Barbie didn't know what a vinyl record album was when she was little. Once, when I was driving her home from pre-school, she sang a song. I asked her where she learned it.
She told me that the music teacher taught it to her.
And now, I quote her, because this is good:
"Mrs. Fitzgerald put on a BIG BLACK CD and it played music and I could see the CD spinning around"
That is when it hit me that she didn't know what a record album was.
I drove straight home, sat her on the couch and grabbed my favorite album--"Frampton Comes Alive" and showed it to her. That was followed by "Edge of 17" and "Rumors" and "Hotel California".
I am proud to say that she now collects vinyl...and has a working turntable to play it on. It sounds like crap but she likes it...especially Led Zepplin's "Mothership".
It was a great teaching moment...brings a tear to the eye that she actually listened to me about something...even if she was only 4.
What I wouldn't give for one of those moments now...
oh well...
It does amaze me what my kids know how to do with technology. They both have showed me how to do things on the computer---excel spreadsheets, photo editing, iTunes libraries, Microsoft Word...
They are constantly teaching me how to do things...I'm not sure I ever taught my parents anything but to regret that they had more than one child once I hit the teenage years.
So Dimples made our football bowl game picks for me (us) and I have to say that I must have a lot of faith and trust in him because I agreed to not change the winner of the Cotton Bowl from LSU (his pick) to my alma mater, A&M.
I guess if I can put my faith and trust in him to train me and work me out, and to coach my son, I can certainly trust that he knows more about college football than I do.
Actually I think my cat knows more about college football than I do...but Dimples does know his stuff.
Today when he worked me out I presented him with a new toy...a weighted body bar. Yesterday he tried having me do some dead lifts using the large rubber band (the one I use to pull him up the hill endlessly). It was an epic fail. He almost fell over when he was showing me what to do and then when I tried it I kept falling over and then just completely lost it laughing until I was crying...I told him that I thought he was making that excercise up as a way to amuse himself. In fact I was wondering if I was being "punked" but he assured me it was a real exercise but I told him that there was no way, no how I was risking my face for a deadlift...maybe a facelift, but not a deadlift. So we quit that excercise.
That is why I bought the body bar...it was safer than pulling on a big rubberband.
But I am regretting it now as I am in grave pain because of all the little tricks he had up his sleeve to do with the bar. pain pain pain
But...he is showing me what to do and how to do it and the scale is inching down again and I see a little goal in sight...100 pounds lost by Christmas if I am a good girl. So even when he makes me do things that make me look pretty foolish, I know it is just to improve my body and health. Basically I am willing to look like a crazy person in order to lose weight...and I do it in front of a really good-looking man...I have no shame...
But when I slide into my mother's dress, it will all have been worth it...even if it meant that I did things that made me look like a deranged woman loose in the park.
I have faith in Coach Dimples...he knows what he is doing (Personal Trainer is his JOB...not just football coach) and he doesn't make me do these things just to laugh at me...but I'm sure it helps pass the time that I am pretty easy to laugh at.
He's showing me the way...and I am grateful.
Inspiration Song: "Show me the Way"...Peter Frampton...."Frampton Comes Alive".
Greatest. Album. Ever.
Bye darlings...let someone show you the way to a better you...
For the last few days the black cloud of gloom and doom has hung over our house as my kids have been forced to study math, science, Spanish, English, and history.
Yesterday The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW)was studying for history. Bacchus, my wine god, is his teacher. Bacchus made a podcast and put it on his webpage for the kids to use as a study guide.
I was sitting across the house and suddenly I hear the booming voice of Bacchus, coming across the house like God himself talking to me...I hear this rambling stream of thought stuff as he lectures/informs the kids, via the podcast, what they need to know about the final.
It was pretty cool...even if it meant I had to hear Bacchus talking for like 10 minutes...
But then again, he likes to talk...a lot...
He likes to hear his own voice and fully admits to it.
He likes to talk...more...than...me...
That's saying a lot...
But what struck me, as I heard him going over the "need to know" stuff about various ancient empires, was how great technology is...and how lucky our kids are to live in this age.
That my son can hear a podcast and get a full lecture from his teacher.
He also has a smart board in every classroom. If you don't know what a smartboard is, let me tell you this...it is the coolest thing ever in a classroom. You touch it and it does things. It is a magic board!
I went to A&M in the dark ages when we still used computer punch cards to select our classes. My kids don't know what a punch card is...
Ke$ha Barbie didn't know what a vinyl record album was when she was little. Once, when I was driving her home from pre-school, she sang a song. I asked her where she learned it.
She told me that the music teacher taught it to her.
And now, I quote her, because this is good:
"Mrs. Fitzgerald put on a BIG BLACK CD and it played music and I could see the CD spinning around"
That is when it hit me that she didn't know what a record album was.
I drove straight home, sat her on the couch and grabbed my favorite album--"Frampton Comes Alive" and showed it to her. That was followed by "Edge of 17" and "Rumors" and "Hotel California".
I am proud to say that she now collects vinyl...and has a working turntable to play it on. It sounds like crap but she likes it...especially Led Zepplin's "Mothership".
It was a great teaching moment...brings a tear to the eye that she actually listened to me about something...even if she was only 4.
What I wouldn't give for one of those moments now...
oh well...
It does amaze me what my kids know how to do with technology. They both have showed me how to do things on the computer---excel spreadsheets, photo editing, iTunes libraries, Microsoft Word...
They are constantly teaching me how to do things...I'm not sure I ever taught my parents anything but to regret that they had more than one child once I hit the teenage years.
So Dimples made our football bowl game picks for me (us) and I have to say that I must have a lot of faith and trust in him because I agreed to not change the winner of the Cotton Bowl from LSU (his pick) to my alma mater, A&M.
I guess if I can put my faith and trust in him to train me and work me out, and to coach my son, I can certainly trust that he knows more about college football than I do.
Actually I think my cat knows more about college football than I do...but Dimples does know his stuff.
Today when he worked me out I presented him with a new toy...a weighted body bar. Yesterday he tried having me do some dead lifts using the large rubber band (the one I use to pull him up the hill endlessly). It was an epic fail. He almost fell over when he was showing me what to do and then when I tried it I kept falling over and then just completely lost it laughing until I was crying...I told him that I thought he was making that excercise up as a way to amuse himself. In fact I was wondering if I was being "punked" but he assured me it was a real exercise but I told him that there was no way, no how I was risking my face for a deadlift...maybe a facelift, but not a deadlift. So we quit that excercise.
That is why I bought the body bar...it was safer than pulling on a big rubberband.
But I am regretting it now as I am in grave pain because of all the little tricks he had up his sleeve to do with the bar. pain pain pain
But...he is showing me what to do and how to do it and the scale is inching down again and I see a little goal in sight...100 pounds lost by Christmas if I am a good girl. So even when he makes me do things that make me look pretty foolish, I know it is just to improve my body and health. Basically I am willing to look like a crazy person in order to lose weight...and I do it in front of a really good-looking man...I have no shame...
But when I slide into my mother's dress, it will all have been worth it...even if it meant that I did things that made me look like a deranged woman loose in the park.
I have faith in Coach Dimples...he knows what he is doing (Personal Trainer is his JOB...not just football coach) and he doesn't make me do these things just to laugh at me...but I'm sure it helps pass the time that I am pretty easy to laugh at.
He's showing me the way...and I am grateful.
Inspiration Song: "Show me the Way"...Peter Frampton...."Frampton Comes Alive".
Greatest. Album. Ever.
Bye darlings...let someone show you the way to a better you...
Monday, November 22, 2010
Angel
This is my cat...her name is "Angel". She is an applehead Siamese and the sweetest little thing. Right now she is asleep on the desk as I type this blog...
I got to thinking today that I have a lot of "Angels" in my life...not just my pretty little kitty cat.
I joined a sororoty in college---I am a proud member of Pi Beta Phi (shout out to my Texas Eta friends! And all Pi Phi Angels).
Pi Phi's "symbols" are an arrow...and an ANGEL...our colors are "wine and silver blue"
I wear Thierry Mugler "Angel" perfume...it is my favorite scent (I am fond of others...and right now Tom Ford Black Orchid is making a definite play for my attention).
Angel perfume comes in a star bottle...and the perfume itself is colored...silver blue...
makes sense to me that I love it...and today when I refilled my bottle (yes! you can refill Angel for 30% less than buying a new bottle...another reason I love it) I was once again struck by how angels are so in my life...
I have angels in Heaven looking out for me...Mom, Daddy, my Grandpa...and special angels like my friend D's niece who's birthday is just one day after mine...our names both start with "A" and we almost shared a birthday so I always had a special place in my heart for her...and sadly we lost her to cancer...she was on my mind this weekend...
My doctor is an angel. I saw her today and she was thrilled with my weight loss. I was actually happy to have blood drawn because I am curious to see if my "inside" is matching my "outside" in getting healthier.
I know my heart is better...my EKG showed a much improved resting heart rate (even Coach Dimples was impressed) and she was really excited about that.
Her support has been incredible and I loved being able to share with her that I "got it"...I "got it" for all the times she told me that if I ate better and excersised I could change my life. Showing her today that I have done that was really a high moment in all of this.
Now if only I could be as gorgeous as she is...people, she looks like a character from "Grey's Anatomy" or "Private Practice" except that she is a real bona-fide physician...
My trainer is an angel...he puts up with a lot of crap from me...today he pushed me to my limit and got me to take myself to a level I didn't think I could get to...and it doesn't hurt that he does the running with me and keeps me motivated and stays positive with me...good grief, he got me to RUN...he has to be heaven-sent or some kind of witch to do that...I hate hate hate to run...
My spin and gym instrutors are angels...I love love love them...they keep me going and working hard...
my Aunt Jane is an angel...she is...because she puts up with me...and saves me from myself...
I have always called Ke$ha Barbie "my Angel"...because even when she doesn't act like an angel, she is one in my eyes...
And The Cutest Boy in the World is an angel of a little man...
The teachers at my kids schools are angels...because a good teacher is a gift from god...I regularly want to polish the halos on them...
and you, my friends, are angels to me...not just my Pi Phi sisters...but all of you who love and support me...
And back to my precious little kitty...she was a stray that "found" us...she walked into our yard and never left. She seemed to drop out of heaven so we named her "angel". She once disappeared for 13 days and returned, like a gift from God, on my son's birthday. We thought she was gone for good but I looked out the window of the kitchen door and there she was, looking in, asking to come back inside her home. She was a little lost kitty but she found a way to trust us and became a part of us and we love her...
I'm a little like her...I lost myself for a while but I found a way to trust myself again that I could do this...I became my own angel...and now I let other angels help me...
You're my angel...come and save me tonight...
Who's your angel(s)? Let 'em know that they save you...
And be your own angel...
Inspiration Song: "Angel" by Aerosmith...my favorite band...
bye darlings...
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Raise Your Glass
So, a toast...
Raise your glass!
Mine happens to be my new Riedel Cabernet/Red stemless wine glass and it contains a nice (but not too much) amount of Molly Dooker "The Boxer" Shiraz (a Bacchus suggestion that I am very fond of).
Some of you may be reading this in the morning so I hope the only glasses you are raising are filled with orange juice or coffee...
But we can toast anyway!
So what are we toasting to?
No, I haven't reached my "significant" goal or anything special, but I want you to join me in a toast celebrating that I am starting off my---well, you don't really need the age number, do you?---ok, 46th year---and I am starting off year 46 as a much healthier woman than I was when I started year 45.
And I want to toast all of you who read this silly blog and who have supported me as I work my way back into becoming a thinner, healthier, stronger version of myself.
Let's call me:
Anice 4.0
because I have done this a few times...let's hope that the only improvements or changes I make to mayself after this are POSITIVE ones.
I had a lovely birthday yesterday...messages from facebook friends...lunch with my family (even Ke$ha Barbie graced us with her blonde presence)...shopped for the glasses with my daughter...had a yummy sushi dinner with my Aunt Jane and her friend Cute and Tiny (CAT)...and then had a celebratory cupcake with my friend D-"the other neice" (since a friend of ours likes to refer to us as the "Nieces" since our names end in -nice and -nise).
Yes, I got near the kryptonite...a CRAVE cupcake...had 1/2 a banana (I highly recommend it) and 1/2 a strawberry (always a favorite). I consider that a pretty clean getaway considering she had more to offer.
Of course I also should confess the 1/2 of a (large) piece of incredible pumpkin cheesecake at lunch at Pappadeaux. At least I had fish as my entree...
I have pre-warned Coach Dimples (via text) that he has some damage to undo...I'm sure he will insist on getting the full story from me as he punishes me tomorrow with a hundred thousand squats. That man is making me do things I never thought I would or could do...it must be the dimples and cute smile...
So what a difference a year makes...because a year ago I would have had at least 2 cupcakes (instead of 1/2 of each flavor) and eaten the whole piece of cheesecake and would have had fried crawfish or something equally dangerous for lunch.
As I type this I am watching Ke$ha (the real one) on the American Music Awards and it strikes me just what a year can do...a year ago she was probably watching this show on tv and now she is one of the headliners...your life can change in a year!
In the past year I have:
gone from a size 24 to a 14
lost 90 pounds
learned to eat "right"
learned to enjoy working out
returned to my beloved spin classes
gotten to renew my friendship with Spinderella (and have the jewelry to prove it)
made some new friends at the gym (J'taime Jamie and Jay-Vee)
traded vodka sweet drinks for heart-healthier (and lower calorie) red wine
had an a-ha moment climbing some stairs that got me to change my life
climbed 218 stone steps up a hill and survived
had an amazing reunion with my camp friends
hired a fantastic (and yes, very cute) trainer who is just what I need
watched my son have an UNDEFEATED football season
watched my daughter learn to drive, get a license, and then have a tiny wreck (with a schoolbus no less)
sat in a "your kid is college bound in less than 2 years" meeting that scared the heck out of me and broke my heart to realize that she is gone very soon
bought myself a new camera that truly makes me love taking photos
discovered some new wines thanks to my Bacchus
went from a 3XL to a size L t-shirt
costumed 4 shows for GOTT and TTG and had more fun each time I did it
celebrated GOTT's birthday with him and once again confirmed that I can't bowl
celebrated GOTTESS' birthday with her and once again confirmed that I can't sing
started this blog and learned that this is my therapy
begun an obsessive relationship with my scale
discovered that Living Proof Full shampoo really works...
got reaquainted with many old friends courtes of Facebook
discovered that I CAN do squats up a hill and not die (thank you, Dimples)
put on a dress that I bought 10 years ago and it fit
bought my first pair of boots in 9 years...so I bought 2...
wore those boots and had a good looking (YOUNGER!) man tell me I looked "hot"
had several people tell me that they didn't recognize me (because of the weight loss) and I hugged and kissed them for it
found out that Crave cupcakes are my kryptonite...so I avoid the kryptonite
discovered that I can turn myself over to someone else (like my trainer)who's sole purpose is to help me change myself...and I am grateful
and
realized that I have the power to change my body, my health and my life...and I don't need pills or surgery to do it...just a lot of hard work.
Tomorrow I have my annual physical...I am actually looking forward to seeing how my health has changed...I know my bloodwork will look better and my lovely doctor (she really is lovely...like a character from Grey's Anatomy) will be pleased that there is less of me to take care of.
There you have it...I'm sure I have learned more in this past year but between being very tired and the bit of wine, I'm all "thinked" out.
I'm grateful for my health and even though I am now 46 instead of 45 I feel younger and better and I am thankful to all of my friends and family and God for my health and well-being...and the strength to go forward and finish this journey.
So what will a year do for your life? How can you change things for the better?
Think about it...and raise your glass to YOURSELF for anything you do to improve your life...
Inspiration Song: "Raise Your Glass" by PINK! I love love love Pink and I love love love that song...I sorta consider it my theme song these days...LOL...
Bye darlings...
Raise your glass!
Mine happens to be my new Riedel Cabernet/Red stemless wine glass and it contains a nice (but not too much) amount of Molly Dooker "The Boxer" Shiraz (a Bacchus suggestion that I am very fond of).
Some of you may be reading this in the morning so I hope the only glasses you are raising are filled with orange juice or coffee...
But we can toast anyway!
So what are we toasting to?
No, I haven't reached my "significant" goal or anything special, but I want you to join me in a toast celebrating that I am starting off my---well, you don't really need the age number, do you?---ok, 46th year---and I am starting off year 46 as a much healthier woman than I was when I started year 45.
And I want to toast all of you who read this silly blog and who have supported me as I work my way back into becoming a thinner, healthier, stronger version of myself.
Let's call me:
Anice 4.0
because I have done this a few times...let's hope that the only improvements or changes I make to mayself after this are POSITIVE ones.
I had a lovely birthday yesterday...messages from facebook friends...lunch with my family (even Ke$ha Barbie graced us with her blonde presence)...shopped for the glasses with my daughter...had a yummy sushi dinner with my Aunt Jane and her friend Cute and Tiny (CAT)...and then had a celebratory cupcake with my friend D-"the other neice" (since a friend of ours likes to refer to us as the "Nieces" since our names end in -nice and -nise).
Yes, I got near the kryptonite...a CRAVE cupcake...had 1/2 a banana (I highly recommend it) and 1/2 a strawberry (always a favorite). I consider that a pretty clean getaway considering she had more to offer.
Of course I also should confess the 1/2 of a (large) piece of incredible pumpkin cheesecake at lunch at Pappadeaux. At least I had fish as my entree...
I have pre-warned Coach Dimples (via text) that he has some damage to undo...I'm sure he will insist on getting the full story from me as he punishes me tomorrow with a hundred thousand squats. That man is making me do things I never thought I would or could do...it must be the dimples and cute smile...
So what a difference a year makes...because a year ago I would have had at least 2 cupcakes (instead of 1/2 of each flavor) and eaten the whole piece of cheesecake and would have had fried crawfish or something equally dangerous for lunch.
As I type this I am watching Ke$ha (the real one) on the American Music Awards and it strikes me just what a year can do...a year ago she was probably watching this show on tv and now she is one of the headliners...your life can change in a year!
In the past year I have:
gone from a size 24 to a 14
lost 90 pounds
learned to eat "right"
learned to enjoy working out
returned to my beloved spin classes
gotten to renew my friendship with Spinderella (and have the jewelry to prove it)
made some new friends at the gym (J'taime Jamie and Jay-Vee)
traded vodka sweet drinks for heart-healthier (and lower calorie) red wine
had an a-ha moment climbing some stairs that got me to change my life
climbed 218 stone steps up a hill and survived
had an amazing reunion with my camp friends
hired a fantastic (and yes, very cute) trainer who is just what I need
watched my son have an UNDEFEATED football season
watched my daughter learn to drive, get a license, and then have a tiny wreck (with a schoolbus no less)
sat in a "your kid is college bound in less than 2 years" meeting that scared the heck out of me and broke my heart to realize that she is gone very soon
bought myself a new camera that truly makes me love taking photos
discovered some new wines thanks to my Bacchus
went from a 3XL to a size L t-shirt
costumed 4 shows for GOTT and TTG and had more fun each time I did it
celebrated GOTT's birthday with him and once again confirmed that I can't bowl
celebrated GOTTESS' birthday with her and once again confirmed that I can't sing
started this blog and learned that this is my therapy
begun an obsessive relationship with my scale
discovered that Living Proof Full shampoo really works...
got reaquainted with many old friends courtes of Facebook
discovered that I CAN do squats up a hill and not die (thank you, Dimples)
put on a dress that I bought 10 years ago and it fit
bought my first pair of boots in 9 years...so I bought 2...
wore those boots and had a good looking (YOUNGER!) man tell me I looked "hot"
had several people tell me that they didn't recognize me (because of the weight loss) and I hugged and kissed them for it
found out that Crave cupcakes are my kryptonite...so I avoid the kryptonite
discovered that I can turn myself over to someone else (like my trainer)who's sole purpose is to help me change myself...and I am grateful
and
realized that I have the power to change my body, my health and my life...and I don't need pills or surgery to do it...just a lot of hard work.
Tomorrow I have my annual physical...I am actually looking forward to seeing how my health has changed...I know my bloodwork will look better and my lovely doctor (she really is lovely...like a character from Grey's Anatomy) will be pleased that there is less of me to take care of.
There you have it...I'm sure I have learned more in this past year but between being very tired and the bit of wine, I'm all "thinked" out.
I'm grateful for my health and even though I am now 46 instead of 45 I feel younger and better and I am thankful to all of my friends and family and God for my health and well-being...and the strength to go forward and finish this journey.
So what will a year do for your life? How can you change things for the better?
Think about it...and raise your glass to YOURSELF for anything you do to improve your life...
Inspiration Song: "Raise Your Glass" by PINK! I love love love Pink and I love love love that song...I sorta consider it my theme song these days...LOL...
Bye darlings...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Black Heart Inertia
The following is copied from wikipedia:
Inertia is the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion or rest. It is represented numerically by an object's mass. The principle of inertia is one of the fundamental principles of classical physics which are used to describe the motion of matter and how it is affected by applied forces.
Inertia...
the resistance (my will/my body)
of any physical object (me)
to change (what I am trying to do)
in its state (not to be fat and out of shape)
of motion (I am constantly moving! spinning! walking! training!)
or
rest (what the heck is that? rest? you mean the couple of hours I lay down?)
I never took physics...
Ke$ha Barbie is in HONORS physics. She loves it...
I never took a class in it, but I do "get" what some of the principles of physics are and I somewhat understand them.
This comes from physicsclassroom.com:
Inertia and Mass
Newton's first law of motion states that "An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force." Objects tend to "keep on doing what they're doing." In fact, it is the natural tendency of objects to resist changes in their state of motion. This tendency to resist changes in their state of motion is described as inertia.
Trust me...I get Newton's first law...because when I am at rest I want to stay at rest as long as possible!
As for the staying in motion with the same speed and in the same direction part...well, it doesn't take an unbalanced force to get me to slow down, stop, complain, whine, fuss, or just generally drag my rear when it comes to a workout.
Now I know you don't read this blog to get a physics lesson, but it does apply to working out...and what I have been doing with myself these last couple of days.
Because I have had some real "light bulb" moments...
And I am talking about high-wattage light bulb moments...
Light Bulb moment #1:
Coach Dimples.
He rocks...he really does...even if he is totally killing me and my quads. Because, my friends, they really really really hurt right now. Because he is killing me. But in a good way. He has me doing some of the craziest things, but boy can I feel it. And he is making me sweat---and swear---and want to just drop on my mat and beg for a nap. But he keeps me going and he really is the perfect person to take me to the next level in my fitness and its nice to have someone guide me on this journey that can make me work so hard that I hurt---and I don't want to kill him for it so he is doing it right. And because I am in this kind of pain I have come to realize that maybe I am not working as hard as I should be when I work out. Which leads me to...
Light Bulb Moment #2
Body Pump is good, but I need to work harder at it.
I have never made myself sore from Body Pump. Even with the new 5 minute squat track. So I don't think I am putting enough weight on or going deep enough with some of my squats, lunges, or lifts. Because Dimples got me in pain without putting any weight in my hands...just the squats and lunges. I complain endlessly to him about them...and I can tell you that when he made me lunge up the hill I was ready to tackle him (he is, after all, also a football coach so tackling would be appropriate). And then today I had another "light bulb" moment in Body Pump which is...
Light Bulb Moment #3
The Damn Heart Monitor is a blessing and a curse.
So I got the heart monitor because my trainer says I need it. I sprang for one that will "record" so Dimples and I can tell how hard I am working, how hard I worked, how many calories I burned, and what my average heart rate was during the workout. He gets me to burn almost 300 calories in about 40-45 minutes. When he aksed me how much I burn doing cardio I (rather smugly) told him that I burn 700-1000 calories in an hour according to the machine and what I have been able to tell by plugging information into a "calorie burn" algorithm (here I go with science again---Dimples gave me the word). I thought it was correct. I thought it was right.
WRONG
WRONG
WRONG
The heart monitor is more accurate. And here is where it got really depressing for me today---I'm not buring 700 calories in a cardio session. I worked my arse off today in 48 minutes of spin and I did just over 300 calories. This is with my height, weight, and age plugged into the monitor. Remember, this thing calculates off of your heart rate which is directly related to how hard you are working.
UGH!
Double UGH!
Body Pump was barely 200.
Triple UGH!
The good news---it makes me work harder when I see my heart rate...
The bad news---I wasn't burning what I thought I was...
so bummed...
My only consolation is that now I know the truth. (At least that is what Dimples told me when I sent him a very fussy whining email about it all). And I told him that I know that he knew that I wasn't burning as much as I thought I was but he let the monitor tell me that and he didn't...guess he gets a kidney from me if he needs one for being one of the only men I ever met that didn't instantly want to tell me I was wrong when I was wrong and wasn't smug about it.
GOTT is usually pretty good about it (like 95% of the time).
Precious and Adorable History Teacher also qualifies but I'm usually the one telling him what to do instead of vice-versa so he is not often presented with the opportunity to inform me that I am screwed up...and I think he is too precious and adorable to do so. Bacchus never misses an opportunity to correct me...no kidney for him...but I do love and adore him...but no kidney...
So that is 3 men...they all get kidneys...except I only have 2.
I guess Dimples is better at talking "woman" than I thought he would be (because he talks "coach" so well). Because only a man that understands a stubborn woman like me would refrain from saying "nah nah nah nah nah...you are wrong...the machine is wrong...the algorithm is wrong...you are screwed!".
He let me figure it out on my own...with the help of the heart monitor...
Damn...he's good...
even if as I type out this blog my quads are screaming in pain because he likes to make me lunge/squat up a hill...
he is good...
and so is the heart monitor...
Go and get one...it makes a difference...just like a good trainer, it will make you work harder, push further, go the distance!
Inspiration Song: "Black Heart Inertia" by Incubus...love that song...great beat changes that make it fun to use for spin/elliptical/arc trainer. Put it (and your heart monitor) on and go!
One last thing...hug a veteran today! They did something most of us are unwilling to do...and we are all enjoying freedom because of it.
Bye Darlings!
Inertia is the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion or rest. It is represented numerically by an object's mass. The principle of inertia is one of the fundamental principles of classical physics which are used to describe the motion of matter and how it is affected by applied forces.
Inertia...
the resistance (my will/my body)
of any physical object (me)
to change (what I am trying to do)
in its state (not to be fat and out of shape)
of motion (I am constantly moving! spinning! walking! training!)
or
rest (what the heck is that? rest? you mean the couple of hours I lay down?)
I never took physics...
Ke$ha Barbie is in HONORS physics. She loves it...
I never took a class in it, but I do "get" what some of the principles of physics are and I somewhat understand them.
This comes from physicsclassroom.com:
Inertia and Mass
Newton's first law of motion states that "An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force." Objects tend to "keep on doing what they're doing." In fact, it is the natural tendency of objects to resist changes in their state of motion. This tendency to resist changes in their state of motion is described as inertia.
Trust me...I get Newton's first law...because when I am at rest I want to stay at rest as long as possible!
As for the staying in motion with the same speed and in the same direction part...well, it doesn't take an unbalanced force to get me to slow down, stop, complain, whine, fuss, or just generally drag my rear when it comes to a workout.
Now I know you don't read this blog to get a physics lesson, but it does apply to working out...and what I have been doing with myself these last couple of days.
Because I have had some real "light bulb" moments...
And I am talking about high-wattage light bulb moments...
Light Bulb moment #1:
Coach Dimples.
He rocks...he really does...even if he is totally killing me and my quads. Because, my friends, they really really really hurt right now. Because he is killing me. But in a good way. He has me doing some of the craziest things, but boy can I feel it. And he is making me sweat---and swear---and want to just drop on my mat and beg for a nap. But he keeps me going and he really is the perfect person to take me to the next level in my fitness and its nice to have someone guide me on this journey that can make me work so hard that I hurt---and I don't want to kill him for it so he is doing it right. And because I am in this kind of pain I have come to realize that maybe I am not working as hard as I should be when I work out. Which leads me to...
Light Bulb Moment #2
Body Pump is good, but I need to work harder at it.
I have never made myself sore from Body Pump. Even with the new 5 minute squat track. So I don't think I am putting enough weight on or going deep enough with some of my squats, lunges, or lifts. Because Dimples got me in pain without putting any weight in my hands...just the squats and lunges. I complain endlessly to him about them...and I can tell you that when he made me lunge up the hill I was ready to tackle him (he is, after all, also a football coach so tackling would be appropriate). And then today I had another "light bulb" moment in Body Pump which is...
Light Bulb Moment #3
The Damn Heart Monitor is a blessing and a curse.
So I got the heart monitor because my trainer says I need it. I sprang for one that will "record" so Dimples and I can tell how hard I am working, how hard I worked, how many calories I burned, and what my average heart rate was during the workout. He gets me to burn almost 300 calories in about 40-45 minutes. When he aksed me how much I burn doing cardio I (rather smugly) told him that I burn 700-1000 calories in an hour according to the machine and what I have been able to tell by plugging information into a "calorie burn" algorithm (here I go with science again---Dimples gave me the word). I thought it was correct. I thought it was right.
WRONG
WRONG
WRONG
The heart monitor is more accurate. And here is where it got really depressing for me today---I'm not buring 700 calories in a cardio session. I worked my arse off today in 48 minutes of spin and I did just over 300 calories. This is with my height, weight, and age plugged into the monitor. Remember, this thing calculates off of your heart rate which is directly related to how hard you are working.
UGH!
Double UGH!
Body Pump was barely 200.
Triple UGH!
The good news---it makes me work harder when I see my heart rate...
The bad news---I wasn't burning what I thought I was...
so bummed...
My only consolation is that now I know the truth. (At least that is what Dimples told me when I sent him a very fussy whining email about it all). And I told him that I know that he knew that I wasn't burning as much as I thought I was but he let the monitor tell me that and he didn't...guess he gets a kidney from me if he needs one for being one of the only men I ever met that didn't instantly want to tell me I was wrong when I was wrong and wasn't smug about it.
GOTT is usually pretty good about it (like 95% of the time).
Precious and Adorable History Teacher also qualifies but I'm usually the one telling him what to do instead of vice-versa so he is not often presented with the opportunity to inform me that I am screwed up...and I think he is too precious and adorable to do so. Bacchus never misses an opportunity to correct me...no kidney for him...but I do love and adore him...but no kidney...
So that is 3 men...they all get kidneys...except I only have 2.
I guess Dimples is better at talking "woman" than I thought he would be (because he talks "coach" so well). Because only a man that understands a stubborn woman like me would refrain from saying "nah nah nah nah nah...you are wrong...the machine is wrong...the algorithm is wrong...you are screwed!".
He let me figure it out on my own...with the help of the heart monitor...
Damn...he's good...
even if as I type out this blog my quads are screaming in pain because he likes to make me lunge/squat up a hill...
he is good...
and so is the heart monitor...
Go and get one...it makes a difference...just like a good trainer, it will make you work harder, push further, go the distance!
Inspiration Song: "Black Heart Inertia" by Incubus...love that song...great beat changes that make it fun to use for spin/elliptical/arc trainer. Put it (and your heart monitor) on and go!
One last thing...hug a veteran today! They did something most of us are unwilling to do...and we are all enjoying freedom because of it.
Bye Darlings!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Isn't She Lovely
Friday was the 17th anniversary of the best day of my life...
November 5, 1993
11:55 PM
The exact moment I had my greatest wish fulfilled...I became a mother...
Into the world came Ke$ha Barbie...wide blue eyes open...quiet and then screaming...totally alert...short and fat...like a little pink butterball turkey.
8 lbs 2 ounces...but only 19 inches long...
She was, and remains, the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.
Although these days she could fix herself up a little better...most days I see her in a ratty t-shirt, jeans or shorts, messy make-up, and hair that looks like it needs brushing (but is clean).
But when she fixes up...she is breathtaking...
Actually, I always think she is beautiful, even when she is a big mess...
So Friday she turned 17...and I can't believe 17 years have gone by.
She had to be forced from my body with a large amount of Pitocin to induce labor. She took all day to decide to come forth. My family got tired of waiting for her but managed to hang on until she made her appearance.
Once she was born she became, and remains (along with her brother), the center of my world.
I couldn't get enough of her when she was a baby. I loved dressing her up. I loved holding her, kissing her, cuddling her, and watching every move with marvel and wonder that she was MY child...MY baby.
She was a beautiful baby...big huge blue eyes that often caused strangers to stop me in the store, the mall, the parking lot to remark about her beauty and her big blue eyes.
She had no hair...
and it remained that way until around her 4th birthday when suddenly she seemed to stop growing (in size) and just grew hair...lots and lots of hair. Now she has enough hair to easily pass for "Cousin It"...It is so much hair that if you divide her hair into 2 sections and braid it, she still has more hair in one section than I do on my whole head. God blessed her with that head of hair...it is not only thick and holds a curl or style, but it also is naturally highlighted...beautiful light blonde streaks throughout that she is constantly accused of highlighting it yet no chemical has touched it.
Now her teeth...they were another matter. She had to wear braces...TWICE...she was born with an extra tooth...even an extra permanent tooth...she had the most snaggly tooth smile for years. Now, thanks to a very good orthodontist, she has a gorgeous smile!
She is a very unusual person. I have told you stories here before. She is equally right- and left-brained. Here standardized test scores in math are always at the top of her group. With little to no effort on her part she scores in the top percentiles consistantly. She is amazing at science as well. Her Honors Physics teacher (yes, I am bragging here...) says she writes papers like a Stanford grad student---and he should know because he taught there.
Now here is her weird little flip...she is also an amazing photographer and she can draw like nobodies business. She and I can take a photo of the same thing. Mine will look like a postcard or calendar shot. Hers will look like art...like something to hang on the wall. She has understood linear perspective since she was in primary school. She has had the ability to draw and shade (so it looks more realistic) since she was in elementary school. She has drawn things on napkins at restaurants and we come back to find that they have hung it on the wall...
She hates English---too many adjectives and flowery writing. History is a bore to her. She still makes good grades...she just doesn't enjoy the classes.
The Perfect Child?
Far from it...she argues with me like a $500 an hour lawyer. I have told her she has my blessing to go to law school if she can get in because then someone will pay her to argue like that!
She is a teenager...no teenager is perfect.
But she is bright and beautiful.
The gene pool was kind to her: my mother's body, my father's hair, my creativity, and her father's brain for math and science. All tied up in a pretty little package.
And she is mine...but there are days that I will gladly pay you to take her off my hands...
I thank God every day for giving her to me...because she made me who I am...a Mommy...
Inspiration Song: well, I could have gone all cliche and used "At 17" by Janice Ian but that song is sooooo depressing and sad. And there were some other songs about 17 but they were sexist and frankly nasty. But when I think of my daughter, I am always reminded of Stevie Wonder's beautiful song he wrote for his daughter---"Isn't She Lovely?". One of the best and sweetest songs ever written. Here are the words to inspire you to wonder and marvel at the lovliness of your own children if you have them...
Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she lovely
Life and love are the same
Life is Aisha
The meaning of her name
Londie, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love
November 5, 1993
11:55 PM
The exact moment I had my greatest wish fulfilled...I became a mother...
Into the world came Ke$ha Barbie...wide blue eyes open...quiet and then screaming...totally alert...short and fat...like a little pink butterball turkey.
8 lbs 2 ounces...but only 19 inches long...
She was, and remains, the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.
Although these days she could fix herself up a little better...most days I see her in a ratty t-shirt, jeans or shorts, messy make-up, and hair that looks like it needs brushing (but is clean).
But when she fixes up...she is breathtaking...
Actually, I always think she is beautiful, even when she is a big mess...
So Friday she turned 17...and I can't believe 17 years have gone by.
She had to be forced from my body with a large amount of Pitocin to induce labor. She took all day to decide to come forth. My family got tired of waiting for her but managed to hang on until she made her appearance.
Once she was born she became, and remains (along with her brother), the center of my world.
I couldn't get enough of her when she was a baby. I loved dressing her up. I loved holding her, kissing her, cuddling her, and watching every move with marvel and wonder that she was MY child...MY baby.
She was a beautiful baby...big huge blue eyes that often caused strangers to stop me in the store, the mall, the parking lot to remark about her beauty and her big blue eyes.
She had no hair...
and it remained that way until around her 4th birthday when suddenly she seemed to stop growing (in size) and just grew hair...lots and lots of hair. Now she has enough hair to easily pass for "Cousin It"...It is so much hair that if you divide her hair into 2 sections and braid it, she still has more hair in one section than I do on my whole head. God blessed her with that head of hair...it is not only thick and holds a curl or style, but it also is naturally highlighted...beautiful light blonde streaks throughout that she is constantly accused of highlighting it yet no chemical has touched it.
Now her teeth...they were another matter. She had to wear braces...TWICE...she was born with an extra tooth...even an extra permanent tooth...she had the most snaggly tooth smile for years. Now, thanks to a very good orthodontist, she has a gorgeous smile!
She is a very unusual person. I have told you stories here before. She is equally right- and left-brained. Here standardized test scores in math are always at the top of her group. With little to no effort on her part she scores in the top percentiles consistantly. She is amazing at science as well. Her Honors Physics teacher (yes, I am bragging here...) says she writes papers like a Stanford grad student---and he should know because he taught there.
Now here is her weird little flip...she is also an amazing photographer and she can draw like nobodies business. She and I can take a photo of the same thing. Mine will look like a postcard or calendar shot. Hers will look like art...like something to hang on the wall. She has understood linear perspective since she was in primary school. She has had the ability to draw and shade (so it looks more realistic) since she was in elementary school. She has drawn things on napkins at restaurants and we come back to find that they have hung it on the wall...
She hates English---too many adjectives and flowery writing. History is a bore to her. She still makes good grades...she just doesn't enjoy the classes.
The Perfect Child?
Far from it...she argues with me like a $500 an hour lawyer. I have told her she has my blessing to go to law school if she can get in because then someone will pay her to argue like that!
She is a teenager...no teenager is perfect.
But she is bright and beautiful.
The gene pool was kind to her: my mother's body, my father's hair, my creativity, and her father's brain for math and science. All tied up in a pretty little package.
And she is mine...but there are days that I will gladly pay you to take her off my hands...
I thank God every day for giving her to me...because she made me who I am...a Mommy...
Inspiration Song: well, I could have gone all cliche and used "At 17" by Janice Ian but that song is sooooo depressing and sad. And there were some other songs about 17 but they were sexist and frankly nasty. But when I think of my daughter, I am always reminded of Stevie Wonder's beautiful song he wrote for his daughter---"Isn't She Lovely?". One of the best and sweetest songs ever written. Here are the words to inspire you to wonder and marvel at the lovliness of your own children if you have them...
Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she lovely
Life and love are the same
Life is Aisha
The meaning of her name
Londie, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love
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