You Can Do It

"You can do it...Nothing to it!"

Fabulous words of advice...

Given to me by the Amazing Katherine during our spin class with Spinderella today.

I was pushing hard to get through the heavy tension I had on my bike and the Amazing Katherine looks at me and says:

"you can do it! Nothing to it!"

I think I need to embroider that onto a pillow...in shiny gold fibers!

The Amazing Katherine is my favorite and best cheerleader...very soon I am going to dedicate an entire blog to her and her family's foundation that benefits people with intellectual disabilities...The Amazing Katherine is just that...AMAZING!

And of course my other amazing person...Dimples...today he got me to a new level...we burned through over 400 calories (trust me, that is big...wear a heart monitor and you will understand how hard you have to work for a 400 calorie burn)!

So between spin and my workout with Dimples I could pretty much eat a pint of Blue Bell...or fried chicken...

but I don't want to...

I'm even shunning wine (during the week...weekends are fair game)to keep the weight loss shred going. Despite my litte flirtation with ruining my diet on Saturday I am below where I was that morning...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dimples is like the Amazing Katherine...he is always telling me I can do it...even when I think there is no way I possibly can.

Like today...when he set the 20 lb. handweights (they are big suckers) on the ground and had me do pushups while holding the handles...

I said "no way"

he said "yes, you can"

and I did...

and then he had me do the same thing but do a leg thrust out and in and stand up in between each push up...

again I said "no way"

and he said "yes, you can!"

and I did...

and then he had me get into the pushup position, balance myself and pick up a weight (while balancing on my feet and one arm like a tripod) and pull it back for 10 reps...each side...

again I said "absolutely no way I can do that"

he said "try 5"

I did 10...each side...

and then he said "now put it all together"...yowza...

and this little voice in my head said:

You can do it, Nothing to it...

So the Amazing Katherine's comment got me thinking...while I was waiting on my car to get the oil changed...that we all tend to limit ourselves.

Dimples always tells me not to ...he tells me I can do things and that it is mind over matter...and he finds ways to encourage me when I think I can't do the last 2 or 3 reps of something because he reminds me I have already done 13 or 18...

And the Amazing Katherine always tells me I can do it just when I think I can't push my legs any faster or harder on the spin bike...

it's that bit of encouragement we all need...

I've written about this before...how we can do things we think we can't. Too often we stand in our OWN way more than anything or anyone else does.

It's really about finding a way to push yourself through...or to just say "yes I can" or to rearrange things so that it is possible.

Today Ke$ha Barbie informed me that I am a happier and easier to deal with mother since I have been working out. She says that my attitude has improved and that...wow, this almost HURTS to write because it sorta hurt my feelings...she "likes me more" these days.

Hmmmmmmmmmm...not sure how I feel about that, really...

was I not likable before?

or is just that she is basically Beelzebub most days and like most teenage girls she thinks her mother is:
stupid
dumb
out-of-touch
knows nothing
worthless
full of useless advice
can't do anything right
is a fashion disaster with no fashion sense
too picky
too critical
and
really really crazy

I know I felt that way about my mother...until I realized that not only was she the most beautiful woman in the world she was also the wisest and most wonderful.

But at 17 Ke$ha Barbie just sees me as a cook, maid, and banker...most days...

Maybe when dealing with her I need to say my affirmation:
You can do it, Nothing to it...

because she often makes me...

CRAZY

but I digress...as usual...

(although I think I am hearing an "amen" from the choir of moms who have teenage daughters)

Back to "what we can and can't do"...

I do have moments when I amaze myself with what I can do now...and it never fails to hit me when I run, yes RUN, up the stairs that changed my life. Because I do it now without being winded...in stillettos...

The fact that I can wear stillettos amazes me too...yet sometimes I still have to tell my feet "you can do it"...

When I run I am surprised that I can...because I thought that there was no way, no how I was going to run...but I should have listened to Dollface and kept the running to a minimum because my knee is still giving me a bit of pain...

I'm always surprised by how quickly my heartrate recovers when I am working out...the fact that my heart, once working so hard to pump blood through my fat body, can beat now to an athletic pace...well, that just really floors me.

Our bodies can do so much more than we think they can...our only limits are what we tell ourselves we can't do...and yes, sometimes things like bad joints, bulging disks, and real injuries can limit us...but they shouldn't STOP us.

So I am going to make a pledge to myself...for the next week I am NOT going to say I can't do something...I'm just going to do it when asked...

let's see how that works for me...

Inspiration Song: "You Can Do It" by the Brand New Heavies...funky little band I found a few years ago when I heard another song of theirs.

Bye Darlings...You Can Do it...Nothing to It!

I Just Wanna Run

I just wanna run...really, I do...hard to believe since I hate running.

But today I want to run.

And I can't...

because my left knee is still screwed up.

Up until now the problem has always been my right knee.

I tore the meniscus in it a few years ago running up and down the stairs to the soundbooth/crows nest at the Country Playhouse. I was stage managing a show for GOTT and my domain was in the crow's nest where I "called the show". I had a blast doing it (the show) but all the wear and tear on my knee when I weighed somewhere between 280-300 pounds (I refused to weigh myself then)was pretty much a downer.

You would think THAT would have gotten me to lose weight...but noooooooo....I just had it fixed...sadly I had to do it twice.

When you are short and weigh that much the wear and tear on your joints and body is something else. My knees bore the brunt of it.

Here are some things that happened to me and/or my body because I was so fat...and this doesn't include looking like the "Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man" (a "Ghostbusters" reference and if you don't know it, you shouldn't be reading this blog...). So here goes...it is shameful:
1) tore my meniscus twice
2) swollen feet and ankles (all the time)
3) out of breath every time I climbed stairs
4) needed to have a seat belt extender on a plane
5) didn't fit into seats at the movies
6) tore the leather trim on my car seat getting in and out
7) couldn't wear shoes except for Crocs
8) almost couldn't get into the submarine I was visiting
9) couldn't touch my toes
10) couldn't see my toes
11) could only wear stretch pants
12) couldn't wear necklaces unless they were long
13) grew out of 2 sets of wedding rings
14) almost ended up diabetic
15) high blood pressure almost needed meds
16) high cholesterol almost needed meds
17) would get out of breath blowdrying my hair
18) couldn't get dressed without breaking a sweat
19) no boots would fit over my calves
20) couldn't do a zipline tour in Hawaii because of my weight

That's enough for now...pretty sad little list...not nearly as much fun to write as the one last night. (see "100 Years" blog).

Do you know how humiliating it is to ask for a seat extender on a plane?

no? you don't?

good...

because it is a pretty crappy feeling...and I cried the first time it happened...and sadly THAT should have gotten me to get on a diet and get in shape...but instead I just asked for one every time I got on a plane.

I also know that whenever I was on a plane and NOT with my children that I am sure the poor people on my row were not happy that I was there, with all my bulk, taking up some of their little bit of space.

Plane rides were hell...there was no comfort.

I can't wait to get on a plane and NOT have to ask for a seat extender.

Riding in a car wasn't much better...and movies were always an ugly thing because I had to squeeze in the seat. I preferred theaters where the arm rests went up and down...gave me more room...except when I sit next to my husband who takes up as much or more space than me.

Now I go to the movies and there is room for my bag AND me in my seat. I take up a lot less space.

I saw on "The Doctors" tv show where some guy said that your goal should be to weigh as much as you can and take up as little space as possible.

In other words, you should be lean and muscular...a pound of fat takes up more space/room than a pound of lean muscle. So it's ok to weigh 140 pounds if you are lean muscle.

But you also shouldn't weigh 105 pounds and have no muscle...we need that muscle to support ourselves.

So that is a photo of 5 pounds of fat and 5 pounds of muscle...pretty scary...

I copied this photo from another blog...Pinay fitness...here is a link to a pretty good blog that explains it better than I can:
http://pinayfitness.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html

I also remember that incredible visual of Oprah pulling that wagon of fat that represented how much weight she lost. It was quite a way to put it.

Basically I have lost enough weight to have lost a 6th grader. I look at some of the 6th grade kids and picture myself carrying one of them on my back.

When Dimples and I discussed how to get my heart rate up if all I could do was walk, he suggested a get a weighted vest. I can't imagine putting on a 40 pound vest to walk, but on the other hand I walked around with a 100 pound "vest" on me so what is 40 pounds...especially if it gets me going since I may have to skip running.

I did a lot of damage to myself with my weight. But I can correct a lot of it...and I have...my blood pressure is good, I am in no danger of being diabetic, my cholesterol and triglycerides are great, and I take up less space.

Of course there is another dirty reality to all of this...loose skin...because it will only "go back" so much. So I am going to have a tummy tuck...and I hear they hurt...a lot...so maybe that will keep me from gaining it back.

I don't like pain...

Which leads me back to this thing with my knee...and the pain I am in.

A friend of mine, who has knee troubles (I'll call her "Dollface" because she is pretty and she shares a name with a doll...)warned me about this. You see, Dollface has had knee troubles too and she warned me that running wasn't a good idea for girls like us. She has never had weight issues but Dollface knows her knee troubles and has the surgical scars to prove it. She told me that walking was good but the running was going to get me...

and it did...

but it felt so good yesterday to run in the cold instead of walking and I was getting my heart rate up and I was all excited thinking of how proud of me Dimples was going to be and how proud I was of myself that I went over a mile and a half and was heading into 2 miles and the music was going and then...

there was this little feeling...

nothing popped

nothing twisted

nothing "went" (like my knee going out from under me)...

I just had this feeling in my knees that I needed to stop...my lungs and energy were fine but the knees were feeling "sore".

I wear a patella support band on my right knee but now I think I need one on both.

So instead of being proud of me I think I have Dimples frustrated with me...

Today I told him I was still hurting and sore...so once again he modified my training and we focused on strength and let the cardio take a backseat.

He likes me to burn 400 calories in a workout. We did 250.

But I'm ok with it...because I know I still did good for my body and my arms are good and tired and poor Dimples was freezing and I still got a sweat up so I figure anything I do is better than nothing...

But I don't want to risk permanent injury (Good grief, Dimples said that to me and I almost burst into tears) so we are taking it easy on me and the knee until it gets back to "normal" which I hope is very very soon.

And as for the running...well, maybe I need to do like Dollface says and keep it to the short little jaunts I take on the jogging track at the park with Dimples and maybe it is just not in my long-term fitness goals to run.

But now that I can't...

I want to...

Now isn't that just like me...I always want what I can't have!

So file "running" with "Crave Cupcakes"...things I can't have but I want.

Who would have EVER thought I would say I wanna run.

Not me...

Inspiration Song: "I Just Wanna Run" by The Downtown Fiction. Pretty good little song...I USED to start my run with it...sigh...

Bye Darlings...don't run away...