Sunday, January 29, 2012

Spinning Wheel

"What goes up....must come down.
Spinning wheel got to go round
talkin bout your troubles its a cryin sin
ride a painted pony
let the spinning wheel spin"

Ummm...why have I not blogged about those lyrics before?

They TOTALLY describe my life about 80% of the time.

The "what goes up...must come down" part...that is totally me and my weight...more on that later.

"Spinning wheel got to go round"...
That part I take 2 ways...

1) Sometimes I do feel like a spinning wheel...going round and round and just trying to keep myself and my life in control...and trying not to spin out of control. Having a teenage daughter makes it pretty out of control a lot...have I mentioned that I call her "Valdemort" and "Beelzebub"?

2)the second way is literal...and obvious...because you all know my obsession with spin class. Have a mentioned that I love spin class? Maybe...oh....a few hundred thousand times?

The new bikes we have at the gym are, as I told Hot Guy at the Gym (ok, let's just call him HGAG...he has a totally built-in blog-worthy name but not tagging him as such until he says the magic words "What time can I pick you up on Saturday?")...so I tell HGAG that the "Keiser bike is my drug of choice" when he asked why I like spinning so much...oh yeah...spinning is my gateway drug to fitness...

I probably ride that darn thing a minimum of 6 days a week...and I love every minute of it especially if JayVee or Je t'aime Jamie are teaching...but I also do a pretty damn good job of it on my own.

That bike is why I have lost over 140 pounds.

That bike is why my legs look good and I like to show them off in dangerous heels.

That bike is why I can now rock a pair of fabulous jeans.

That bike is why I have a really high level of cardio fitness.

That bike is why I wear a size 8.

That bike is why the only "big ass" in my life is the truck that belongs to the man who will one day win my heart...remember, I like a guy who drives a big ass truck...not a guy that HAS big ass...and I don't want mine to be any bigger...I'll keep the "Kardashian" butt thing going (genetics) but it won't be fat...thanks to that bike...

That bike is why HGAG keeps chatting me up, telling me sweet things about how I look, and walking me to my car when we leave the gym...then he says goodbye and goes and climbs into...his big ass truck...

So that spinning wheel that is my life...I'll keep it...

Now the "talking bout your troubles it's a cryin sin" part of the song...

HELLO!

Why the heck do you think I write this blog?

Yes...for some reason you people read this dribble I shell out to you and I'm pretty sure I spend MOST of my time complaining or whining about something.

Strangely you come back for more...and tell me you like it.

My friend...oh, she needs a name...I'm gonna call her "FlowerVine" (RV that is you...cause it goes with your name...you are pretty as a flower and it works with your real last name)...this week she called me "awesomeness" and told me to blog about it.

I don't always feel like "awesomeness" so I usually complain about it here...and you pour souls get to read about it.

Right now I have very few troubles...Ke$ha Barbie is in at least one college and it is one of her top choices, my son just took 2nd place in the middle school state wrestling championships (which means that wrestling season is almost over...woo hoo!) and is the perfect son, I'm rolling with my costumes for our spring show, my dress for Mardi Gras fits (except that it needs 2 feet cut off the bottom), hot guy at gym who drives big ass truck pays attention to me and is very sweet but moving s-l-o-w-l-y (ok, that is sort of a complaint but I also know why he is moving at the speed of a glacier with me and he is worth being patient for), and I had a very fun weekend (got to hang with Trainer Girl on Friday and my friend Rowdy Rhonda on Saturday).

My biggest complaint...well, I told you at the beginning of the blog that "what goes up must come down" and here it is...

MY WEIGHT

I'm actually tempted to see if I can go to medical school so I can have some understanding of how my metabolism works...and why my weight fluctuates so.

I know hormones come into play.

Goodness I hate hormones...they really can mess with a girl's life.

They can turn a perfectly good day into one that is fraught with grief, angst, and dispair.

Yes, those are the days I step onto the scale and the number goes UP...

Grief, angst, and dispair...

Not really, but it comes close.

Last week I was hitting some really good numbers and then BAM!

God says "Ha!"

well not God, but my body did...and my body wanted me to know that pasta, chips, and bacon horseradish dip are ALL not good ideas.

So that number that was in the 150's?

Back up to 162...

I blame the sushi on Friday night when I was with Trainer Girl...and the load of sake I downed with the sushi. We tried to be good but you can't avoid rice altogether at the sushi bar...and it was worth it because I always have fun when I am with Trainer Girl!

As for the bacon horseradish dip and chips...I blame nervousness over The Cutest Boy in the World competing in his wrestling championship...when I get nervous I make poor choices...and I was nervous...and the dip and chips were there.

Of course if I didn't have the "poor choices" in the house I wouldn't have the chance to make poor choices.

I could also blame the fact that my weight popped up because I did not train with Dimples last week...because he was on a well deserved vacation.

Of course I have now given him waaaay too much power and credit if I say it was my lack of training with him that caused a weight gain.

I can't give him that much power...

He already is the ONLY man in my life right now that I will take orders and direction from. (A little line I borrowed from Trainer Girl)

Well, him and my lawyer...oh, and GOTT since he is sorta my boss...

And here's the rub to that---

I PAY THEM TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!

(Except GOTT...I don't pay him...I just do what he asks me to do cause I lurrrvvvv him and the kids)

ummmmm...might need to rethink things just a bit in that case...but then again I really don't have a choice...I need both my trainer and my lawyer...and GOTT is one of my best friends so yeah I need him too...

And a hot guy (with a job) that drives a big ass truck that brings me lilies, holds my hand, and drinks red wine with me while we watch "Modern Family"...

Well, I don't NEED the hot guy (with a job) that drives a big ass truck that brings me lilies, holds my hand, and drinks red wine with me while we watch "Modern Family" but it sure would be nice...we can put that in the "want" column...

Trainer and Lawyer stay in the "need" column...along with GOTT...

So my weight is fluctuating...

What comes up must come down...

And it will...I just need a little patience...and maybe time with my trainer...and I'll be living in the 150's again.

And soon enough that magic number that is "150" will be on the scale and I will be half of myself...oh what a blog that will be...

In the meantime I will eat right, do my workouts, drink more water (and less Stoli and wine....nah...) and wait for it to go back down.

PATIENTLY

And for those of you who know me well...stop snickering at the screen...

I CAN be patient...I just don't like it very much...

And tomorrow...I'll probably complain about it again and eat that word "patiently"...

It will taste good...like chips and bacon horseradish dip...

Inspiration Song: "Spinning Wheel" by Blood, Sweat and Tears...cause that is what I do to lose this weight and stay in shape...I get on the spinning wheel...and I workout...and I work hard...and yes, there is blood, sweat, and tears involved but it is all good...all good...

Bye Darlings...what goes up must come down...for everyone...use a little blood, sweat, and tears and make it happen for you!

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