Sunday, February 6, 2011

Tik Tok

I feel like a clock is ticking.

It's counting down the time I have left before I am grounded and not able to work out either by surgery or doctor mandated rest.

And it's killing me more than my knee is.

My knee hurts...and throbs pretty bad at night. But when I am working with Dimples, or riding the spin bike, or running on the track it totally doesn't bother me.

I took yesterday off.

Did no exercise other than walking around and photographing GOTTSON's basketball game.

I really hoped it would make my knee feel 100% better today. Or at least 60-75%.

But it didn't.

It helped a little, but not enough.

So what does that mean?

Either I need to give it a longer rest or...

The MRI will probably show that I have torn my meniscus.

So right now I am doing everything I can in case it is all put to a halt.

Care to join me in my pity party?

I have hats and balloons for everyone...no ice cream or cake will be served but I do have fresh fruit.

After the devestating news of a former student's death, I was really grounded and quit feeling sorry for myself.

But today, as I had fun at bootcamp, I was starting to feel sorry for myself again. We had a make-up session because the FABULOUS Dimples gave up his morning to take care of us since we missed Friday because of the icicle...so as I worked out with the world's best trainer and my girlfriends I realize just how much I would really miss getting to do that if I am put on halt for a few weeks after surgery.

And it is killing me...

like I said, my knee is killing me but not like the thought of not spinning or training is.

I have become what I never thought I would be:

SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES TO EXERCISE AND WORK OUT.

I used to make fun of people like me.

I make fun of people like me now.

I make fun of me now...

and you are welcome to join me...

Exercise addiction is healthier than drug, alcohol, or food...but I do see that I could really say I am addicted.

Taking the day off yesterday drove me nuts...I itched to run up to the gym and jump on a spin bike or elliptical. The only reason Dimples was safe was because he was coaching football all day.

If I have to stay home...in bed...or on crutches I will literally go nuts.

I am really examining this with myself because I see myself in dangerous territory where I can see myself compromising my knee to keep going out of fear that the weight loss will stop.

I know I can't do it with diet alone.

And I'm not sure how long I will be "down" after surgery.

Dimples assured me we could work around it and he can get me back but even a few days will make me crazy.

I'm a stubborn stubborn stubborn woman.

I don't like when I don't get my way.

And frankly I don't have the time to have surgery even without the issue of missing my workouts. I really just don't have the time...

So now despite my declaration yesterday that it would be stupid to worry about all of this until I know what is really going on...

I am...worrying about all of this...

and yes, that is stupid.

But like I said yesterday...I am a stupid girl.

So I'm going to workout as hard as I can (or my knee will let me) and wear my stilleto heels and boots and pray for good news after my MRI.

So here, with apologies to Ke$ha, are my new lyrics to her song...

Tik Tok

Wake up in the morning my knee makes me feel some pity
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, gonna hit the city
Before I leave, brush my teeth and put gym clothes on
'Cause when I leave to work out, I'm sweating and getting gone...

I'm talking spin shoes on my toes, toes
Trying on all new clothes, clothes
Great workout tunes on my phone, phone
Drop squatting, lunging, and bending my knees, knees
Running around the trees, trees
Trying to get a little bit fit, you see?

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of fear
Ain't got no pain in my body, but for this knee right here
And now, my trainer gets me going with a workout that's not mild
And I'll run and go up the hill until I look like Olivia Wilde

I'm talking running around the track, track
Tryin to get my ass back
Gonna smack me if I get too slack, slack

Now, now, I go as Dimples works me out, out
Or my damn knee shut us down, down
damn knee shut us down, down
knee knee shut us

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Dimples, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

With my hands up
You got me now
You got me bound
Yeah, you got me

Dimples, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

With my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up

Now, the workout won't stop until I give in...

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Don't stop, knees don't pop
Dimples, blow my sneakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
and I'll run in the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the workout don't stop, no

Sorry, Ke$ha...I ruined your song...

Inspiration song: Tik Tok by Ke$ha...totally love that song...

Bye Darlings...don't let the clock tick down on you...

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