Ice Ice Baby

I know, I know...you are horrified by the blog title...and scared that THAT song is actually on my iPod...well, it is...and I'll get to it later...

And yes, I know it is one of the 10 worst songs ever written.
Along with:
"Run, Joey, Run"---there is no excuse for that song
"The Pina Colada Song"---really? really?
"Muscrat Love"---shameful
"Merry Christmas, Darling"---GOTT and I mutually hate that song
"Billy Don't be a Hero"---ugh!
"Seasons in the Sun"---a soap opera in a song and it is awful...
"Cats in the Cradle"---see above...

ok, there are more...and I'm sure you have some suggestions for my list...but this blog isn't about bad music...someday I will do one on that...

it is about...ice...

Ice Ice, Baby...

Because today my heart was declared "good" but my knee gave out.

You see, I had to have a stupid stress test. Apparently when Gorgeous Doctor did my physical my EKG was "funky" and a little off. So I had to have the stress test. Dimples and GOTT laughed about it since they both know that the only way to get my heart rate up is to make me run.

Well that, and Alexsander Skaarsgard...shirtless...

Oh, and Ryan Reynolds...shirtless...

And the guy from "Spartacus"...shirtless...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

but I digress....

moving on...

So I had the stress test today. I was emailing/messaging/texting Dimples because he received my fussy email from Saturday where I basically told him I was going to go postal if my weight didn't drop and that my knee was killing me and that I was depressed that I had to go to a funeral. I emailed him right after getting off a MILE JOG (yes, I jogged a mile! woo-hoo!)and my knee was SCREAMING...my knee that has been operated on twice for the meniscus.

So he was checking to be sure that I was still breathing...I was...and I told him I was having the stress test...

I survived the weekend and the celebration of my friend Patrick's life. Won't go into that here...but it was lovely and we all miss him. I got happy before the funeral by shooting (with a CAMERA) my 8th grade precious angels playing soccer along with Coach Cuteness. The game went into overtime. You can't be late to a funeral...

So I dashed home, changed clothes and made the GREAT decision to put on 4 inch stilletos for the Celebration of Patrick's life.

I don't think that helped my knee that was already hurting...I sat with TTG and he just shook his head at my choice of footwear...and understood why it took me so long to get from the parking lot into the sanctuary.

So today I go in for the stress test and the first funny thing that happens is that the nurse misreads my file and thinks I am 64 instead of 46 so she was a little shocked when I stood up when my name was called.

I was in a waiting room full of people with walkers...it wasn't doing much for my confidence.

Saw the doctor and he wasn't overly concerned and sends me off for the stress test and ultrasound (I think they call it an "echo"...whatever).

I get on the treadmill and am doing fine and rocking along and then...

YOWZA...

the knee starts to scream...

I ask the guy if I have gone enough and he says "yes" so I say "stop" so I can preserve what little knee function I have left.

It all turned out ok but now I think I have to go see the ortho guy...again...

And that, my friends, really scares me...

Because I was not afraid of my heart being in trouble...because I knew I was fine.

But I am afraid of having to stop excercising because of my knee.

So now it is me and the ice ice baby...and some Advil...but no wine tonight (remember Jeanette---wine and Advil are a great combination!) because I am trying to really behave so I can get my Christmas present...

to be under 200 pounds...

That is what Santa needs to leave under the tree for me...

And now he needs to heal my knee too...

I think I will re-write "Santa Baby" for my next blog...we'll see...

I worked out with Dimples and did nothing but scare and frustrate him with the knee. Scared because he was worried he had caused it (I assured him he had not) and frustrated because it is hard to get me in the target heart zone without jogging, running, squatting, lunging, etc.

But he's trying and he's getting creative...

And I'm scared...

And right now it is cool outside and really nice in the park...no ice ice baby there, just cool so I don't sweat to death...and I love being in the park but this knee thing may alter our plans.

He's going out of town this weekend to ski (some ice ice baby for him) and I think he is going to tell me to rest my knee while he is gone.

One tiny problem....the spinning master class that Jay Vee and J'taime Jamie are teaching on Saturday...can't miss that...

I'd love to ski again...it's been years...I have been too fat and out of shape. But with this knee stuff I'm not sure I will again.

I haven't skied since college. I went with my best friend, Christopher. He was an EXPERT skier. I drove up to Vail and then Aspen with some friends and Christopher met up with us. He missed our first day which was a shame since my friend Camille and I managed to find ourselves with a very bad "Sophie's Choice":

double black diamond mogul run

or

double black diamond straight down kill you run

ice ice baby...

Hey, Mr. Game Show man, can we have the option behind door number 3? The one that is a green or blue run?

No?

The ski patrol told us to get down from high off the mountain because of some pesky blizzard like snow so we were forced to choose...

So we choose "moguls for 1000, Alex" and took off our skiis and went down...on our butts...

by the time we got to the warming up place/restaurant, our bandanas had frozen to our faces...

ice ice baby

So the next day Christopher meets up with us and I opt to ski with him.

I was a magor pain in the @$$ to him...but since he loved me, he had no choice...

First we got stuck on the blasted chair lift for over 30 minutes...

again, my bandana began to freeze

ice ice baby

and then there was the whole problem with the fact that we were so high in the air that I was afraid we needed air traffic control...remember, I am deathly afraid of heights!

I almost fell out of the chair...his ski pole kept me in...

he began to feed/give me sips of cinnamon schnapps from some bag thing he had...to calm me down.

alcohol + altitude + me = trouble

"I'll take "get me off this damn chair lift for $200", Alex"...

it finally started up just about the time that I was going to need psychiatric care...I was just on the "sane" side of nervous breakdown...by seconds...

So the chair starts back up and I am mildly warmed (and drunk) on the schnapps...and Christopher informs me that we are going to take some horrible run that has some sort of awful "catwalk" on it and that we need to hit that part of the run with SPEED SPEED SPEED or we will have to POLE POLE POLE...

I promised him (or rather the schnapps promised him) that I would go fast enough to take us around the catwalk.

He wanted to stay behind me to watch out for me. He was afraid I would fall of the mountain or freak out over the heights and if he was in front of me he would miss the freak out and then real trouble would begin.

I did good until I saw the catwalk and then I freaked out and...

slowed down

so I wouldn't hit the ice ice baby

The rest of the story...I'm sure you can figure it out...we had to POLE POLE POLE around that catwalk and all the while I heard him muttering the "f" word with each stab of his pole...

and he kept saying that if he wanted to cross country ski he would have done that instead...

we got off the catwalk, I hit a patch of ice ice baby and nearly hugged a tree with my face and he got so worried digging me out of the snow that he forgave me and turned back into the guy I should have been in love with but loved too much to love him that way...he was my best friend. He was gorgeous and wonderful and we lost him to leukemia 7 years later...gone too soon and I am lucky to be married to a man who knows I mourn another man (and can't listen to certain Geore Strait songs because of it).

He was an awesome guy...even if he called me every name in the book of bad words on that ski run...

Maybe that's why I don't ski anymore...

I hope Dimples can avoid any ice ice baby because only one of us can be crippled at a time...

I'll let you know how my knee is after some more ice and Advil....in the meantime I am off to put on some

ICE ICE BABY!

Inspiration Song: ok, ok you can give me crap about this one..."Ice Ice Baby"...you can go with Vanilla Ice's version but personally I can only stomach the "Glee" version...Matthew Morrison totally rocked it...

bye darlings....