Just Push Play

So I had my MRI today.

I think I am becoming a pro at them.

When the guy doing the test asked what was wrong with my left knee (he could see the scars from the surgeries on the right knee) I told him:

"My left knee got jealous that my right knee has gotten all the attention so now it wants equal time..."

Then I went on to explain how I was an idiot for running...

Mind you I sandwiched the MRI between J'taime Jamie's spin class and a workout with my poor darling Dimples who although he was sick and about to cough up a lung still found a way to come out and train me.

He (Dimples) took it easy on me until we know what is going on with the knee. I figure what is done is done...

We played with some new toys today. He made some bands that he wraps around a tree limb and I grab the handles and do various exercises with them (similar to TRX bands).

I also bought a stability ball for us to play with. I refrained from buying a pink one (I thought Dimples might look stupid chasing it around).

He blew it (the stability ball) up yesterday. I had fun bouncing around on it.

Today I got to do push ups, sit-ups and pull-ups on it...I like bouncing around better.

It reminds me of a hippity-hop...remember them?

Once I went to Lake Austin Spa. I went with a group of very fun girlfriends. We took a stability ball class.

The balls at the spa had, for lack of a better word (and Dimples loved this), "teats" on it...you know some long rubber prongs.

They were for keeping the balls from rolling around...nowadays the balls just roll, but this was about 10 years ago when it was a new thing.

So me and the girlfriends go into the room for the class.

The room is darkened. Enya music is playing.

Soothing environment.

I'm not sure which one of us did it first (probably me), but we jumped on the balls, grapped the rubber "teats" (whatever) and began to hop around like we were on hippity hops.

We had a blast.

We worked up a bit of a sweat.

We were bouncing around like 4 year olds.

And then the instructor walked in...

She laughed and claimed that NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE had bounced around on the balls like that until us...

I think she asked if we were drunk.

When we returned again she said "here comes trouble...".

The spa was wonderful, the food was incredible (for spa food), the spa treatments were the bomb, but nothing beat those few minutes that we abandoned our adult selves and became children again bouncing on the balls and laughing until we were crying.

Sometimes, you just need to be a kid.

I turn into a kid a lot during my workouts but I have a feeling that the stability ball will turn me into a toddler.

Maybe that is why I like my workouts with Dimples so much...we play...

He pushes me but he does it in a fun, playful way. He gets my heartrate up and gets me burning the calories but we have a lot of fun while we do it. I think that is what keeps me coming back...that I have fun.

Spin class is the same way. I love my instructors...they are the sweetest...but it is also all about the fun music and we all laugh and have fun while the class is going on.

I love the bootcamp that Dimples does for me and my mama friends. We laugh so much that sometimes he has a hard time getting us to pay attention and work. But we do. And I'm so proud of my Warrior Princess C who continues to celebrate her year of kicking cancer by working out with us. I'm proud of all my bootcamp mamas because we all have our own reasons to be there...and we get to have fun doing it.

Dimples played basketball last week as his workout. He said he really loves to play it and it is a great workout for him...more fun than just running 3 miles.

We are going to ride bikes next week as part of our workout. It will be fun to try something different...I'm tempted to add a bell and a flower basket to my bike like I had when I was 10...except that I don't think they will fit...and I have clips instead of pedals so if I crash that basket will explode.

But that is what a workout should be...it should be fun. And sometimes you have to find a way to play while you get your heartrate up.

I spent a few months doing nothing more than the elliptical. I burned calories and worked on my cardio fitness.

I didn't hate it, but I can't say that it was fun.

When I walk into JayVee or J'taime Jamie or Spinderella's spin classes, I have a blast...I have fun...and if I have the Amazing Katherine next to me I have fun AND a cheerleader.

And when I am with Dimples...be it personal training or bootcamp, I have a blast...and the time passes so quickly.

I guess what I am saying here with all of this "play" is that if you are looking to get started on doing something for yourself, find something FUN that you enjoy doing so you will do it.

Maybe it is tennis...maybe it is basketball...maybe it is riding your bike...maybe is is pilates class...maybe it is karate...but find something that you ENJOY doing...something that will keep you coming back for more.

For me it is spinning and Dimples...that is my form of play.

And I might just have to take that stability ball around the park for a spin...just gotta find a way to hold onto it while I hop...

Inspiration Song: "Just Push Play" by Aerosmith. Because you can just push play and have some fun...or just push play on your iPod and get moving...

Bye Darlings...stop reading this and go out and play!

Cold as Ice

Actually, it was colder than ice.

I live in Texas for the HEAT.

Cold is not my temperature.

I like it hot...I love summer...I don't mind sweating...

100 degrees outside = love it

On Monday I was sweating through my workout.

This morning...notsomuch.

I have determined that Dimples is the most dedicated and sweet trainer that a girl could ever have...because he braved the cold for "Mama Bootcamp" this morning and basically became a human popsicle all in the name of getting me and my friends into better shape.

We work out in a park. A park we love.

Today...notsomuch.

He got to the park a few minutes before me. Then he sent me a picture of some of the ice patches on the ground. It was a balmy 27 degrees.

Now I know those of you who live in colder climates are laughing that I am complaining about 27 degrees, but remember that you would probably melt in my August heat here in Texas.

It's all relative...

And relatively speaking, I'll take the heat over the cold.

We piled out of our cars with our piled-on clothes and set about to try and get hot...or at least warmed up.

I had on a tank, an Under Armor cold-gear long-sleeved top, and another Under Armor long-sleeved t-shirt...and a fleece jacket. A pair of gloves and glove liners. Pants.

Ah, the pants...

the pants that no longer fit...too big (yay!) and kept annoyingly falling down so I had to remove my gloves to hike them back up. I'm giving them away...

My friend Jantastic ('cause she's fantastic)only had a pair of riding gloves so I gave her my fleece ones.

I call that love...mostly cause I just love her but also cause she is a sorority sister so Pi Phi love always wins out...

Dimples had 2 bootcamps this morning...one at 8 and one at 9.

I did both of them.

Obsession....

(yes that was a few blogs ago...)

I loved it until my knee decided that it demanded to be heard.

So my knee wanted me to tell Dimples that it woke me up in the middle of the night last night throbbing and that it was giving me some grief this morning. I was going to blame the cold but at this point it was being pretty insistant that I tell him the full extent of what it was feeling/doing and he put a halt to some of my work.

I promised him I would always tell him the truth about pain so I was holding to that promise. Up until today I had some pain but not to the extent that I felt the need to call my orthopedic doctor.

Suffice it to say that tomorrow I am seeing the doctor at 4 unless it snows here and fouls everything up.

I'll let you know...

I once heard it said that "we get one icicle in this city and it all shuts down"...well, we're gonna get an icicle tomorrow and the city will shut down.

Dimples and I have found an alternative place for our workout.

It is INSIDE.

But as soon as we can get back to the park...well, I am so so so there!

I've never liked the cold. You've read my ski stories and having grown up in Kingsville where I remember snow exactly ONE time, cold weather is a bother but not the norm. So I hate it...

Today to warm myself up I played a lot of "sunny and warm" music:
"Island in the Sun" by Weezer
"Island Girl" by Elton John
"Soak up the Sun" by Sheryl Crow

Right now I wish I was on Poipu Beach in Kauai...or on St. Thomas...

But it will warm back up in a week or so and the snow and icicles will be forgotten.

And for all my friends who live with the snow and ice all winter long...I'm thinking about you and hoping you are staying warm and cozy.

Because today, I was cold as ice...

at least I got to light the fire in my fireplace...

Inspiration Song: "Cold as Ice" by Foreigner...great song...great band...

Bye Darlings...stay warm!

Feeling Good

I like Mondays...not always, but sometimes.

I liked today...I pretty much played "dress up" all day.

First...the cheetah print skirt.

Yep, I wore it.

I rocked it.

I rocked it with black stiletto boots.

Which Dimples warned me not to do but I told him that my knee be damned, I was going for "hotness" and not hot mess so no other shoes would do.

So I wore the cheetah print skirt up to my son's school and showed my friend (the middle school principal) because I told her I would.

Check that off the list of things I planned to do when I lost weight.

So I sit in said skirt and watch GOTT choreograph the first part of "Hard Knock Life" and proceed to scream with delight through it all...

It is going to be totally adorable...GOTT is genius.

After that I decided it was time to go shopping...

for...

underwear...

(men, you can just stop reading here...or scroll down a bit...because you cannot relate to the experience at all...)

I've lost so much weight that I needed to be "fit" for undergarments and dammit I have worked hard so I was going to reward myself with something from Victoria's Secret.

When I get to goal weight I'm going to blow a chunk of cash on something from Agent Provocatuer (right now I only wear their perfume) but for now VS will more than do.

I go into the store and the darling sales girl screams when I tell her I have lost 110 pounds. She kept asking me how I did it...

4 bras and 8 pairs of underwear later I left the store with a red bag full of undergarments in my hand.

I haven't shopped at Victoria's Secret in 8 years...almost 9...

It. Felt. Great.

Would it be oversharing to say that I even bought some thongs?

I always overshare...

But if Dimples is going to have me do a bijillion squats, lunges, and step-ups, by damn I will not have panty lines...

After all of that fabulous shopping it was time for bootcamp.

Which was awesome...

We are all getting stronger...more fit...feeling good...

But the best part was that we were joined by a WARRIOR...a beautiful kicked-cancer-in-the-ass warrior...my friend Princess C...

(You see...when you kick cancer in the ass you get to be called Princess in my world...)

So Princess C will celebrate one year since her surgery tomorrow...

And she looked beautiful to me...

her hair has come back...and her beautiful eyes were more beautiful than ever...

and she worked out and had fun with us and said it felt so good to be moving...to be outside and enjoying it...and I loved watching her move about the park with us.

Because...she is here...

Because she survived...

Before bootcamp I showed Dimples my "goal" dress.

I pulled it out today and gave it a good long hard look.

I have a couple of goal dresses...they were my mother's. All of them black, all of them special...

But this dress...this is THE dress.

It's the Vera.

The Vera Wang.

No, not THE Vera Wang that I want Oprah to get me...that will be a gown...

This one is a cocktail dress.

One I chickened out of wearing to a party 8 years ago.

Here it is...

front view...one shoulder...sheer in the back...

Here is the back...you can't really see it very well...

So I show this to Dimples...who just smiled and looked slightly puzzled as to why I was holding a dress in front of him, but he's a doll and patient so he let me explain...

And I told him that I was holding the little scrap of black fabric he was working to get me in.

I often visualize that dress when I want to give up...

Today it made me run faster.

When I got home I hung the dress back up. And then I decided I couldn't help myself.

I had to see how "far" I was from getting into it.

I slipped it on...over my head...

ok

Then I reached for the zipper...

it zipped!

OK...

stretchy fabric...

but it was not heinous...I mean, with a good pair of spanx (or two) I could wear it.

I showed Ke$ha Barbie. We both got pretty excited. I cried. She hugged me and kissed me...and finished zipping me up.

And declared that I was going to look hot in it when I wore it.

So now I have a couple of months before the party I plan to wear it to. And I now know I can do it.

It's in my grasp.

But I'll still need spanx...or a thong...or fishing line and Crisco.

In any case...I can wear the dress.

When I took it from my mother's closet after she died I said it was because I wanted to wear it sometime. I didn't know when or how but I WANTED to wear the dress again.

After a few years I figured I would just give it to Ke$ha Barbie.

She says she is fine with it being mine...what a good daughter...

So it was a good Monday...and I'm feeling good.

I wore a silly skirt with boots, I bought thongs and bras, I zipped up a dress that I thought I would never wear.

But despite all of THAT good...the BEST part...the truly BEST part was Princess C showing up to work out with us.

Because she is a warrior...and she will be strong again...and she is, and always has been BEAUTIFUL

And she's feeling good...

And THAT, well that...that is priceless...she is here and she kicked cancer in the you-know-what...and she's feeling good...

And that makes me feel REALLY good!

Inspiration Song: "Feeling Good"...multiple artists...George Michael has a great version...but my favorite is Buble...Michael Buble...he's dreamy...

Bye Darlings...do something that makes you feel good today!

Feel Good Time

Today we had a Dimples bootcamp...I had 7 mamas there (including me)...we had fun...

The weather was...perfect! Just the reason we live in Texas...it was about 65 degrees (very comfortable) and sunny. Like I said...just the reason why we like to live in Texas.

He (Dimples) divided us into 2 groups and we all did squats, push-ups, leg thrusts, step-ups, and pulled each other with resistance bands.

Seriously, it was fun!

We were all a little sore from Monday's bootcamp (and me a bit from yesterday's yowza extravaganza with the push ups on the barbells) so it was good to get the kinks out.

But right now...I'm a hurtin'

Sore...

Tired...

Ready for a nice long soak in the tub...a tub full of epsom salts (and lavender) with the whirlpool going.

I plan to basically LIVE in the bath for the next few hours...

It's not that what I did today was any worse than what I usually do, it is just that I'm training my body to do things it usually doesn't WANT to do.

And it is working...

the scale bar...sliding down...

a skirt I wore last fall...sliding down my hips...too big...

a skirt I thought I would wear on Friday when I teach...fit 3 weeks ago and is now too big.

Love it

Love it

Love it

Love Dimples...yes, I do...

When I was talking to my friend Athenagal today we were laughing about how my daughter declared I was "nicer and happier" since I had lost weight and was working out.

She said: "thank goodness she didn't say you were nicer when you were heavy!"

Oh, I agree...

I laughed and told her that I had always considered myself the "fat jolly girl" but later, when I had time to think about it, I realize I wasn't...

To the rest of the world I was happy and jolly and funny and I'm sure many of my friends thought of me as their fat and happy friend...who they wished would lose some weight...

I was never happy with being fat.

I just didn't know how to get out of it. I didn't have the motivation or energy to try and do something about it.

I can't tell you how many times I was in a dressing room at Lane Bryant, trying on things in a VERY LARGE SIZE and I would look in the mirror and...

cry...

it didn't feel good to put on what amounted to a big trapeze top and stretchy pants and look in the mirror and realize that I looked like a very large blonde apple...in a size 24.

Wow, I can't believe I actually put that number in this blog.

I would look into the mirror and try to convince myself that I looked good. I guess to a certain extent I looked as good as I could considering I was a size 24...but no, I didn't look good.

And it didn't feel good to be that way...

My legs and feet constantly hurt. And my knees hurt...a lot...
I moved without grace and waddled about.
I was always out of breath.
I would sweat a lot...not because of working out...but just walking.
I didn't fit into chairs...and feared breaking one...
My feet and ankles were swollen and it was hard to wear shoes...

Now...
the only time my legs, feet or knees hurt is after a good hard workout...so they hurt in a good way!
I move with grace...I can get around easily...
The only time I am out of breath is when Dimples has me run up the hill or if I am going hard on the spin bike (with the Amazing Katherine urging me on!)
I sweat a lot more now...but as a result of exercise and working out...sweat like that is beautiful and sexy...
I fit into chairs easily now...I no longer have to squeeze into them!
And my feet and ankles...no longer swollen...and have I mentioned the stilletos I like to wear? Yes, I have and I do...

I feel good now...I feel really really really good...

I can do so much more and I have so much more energy. And I don't look into the mirror and want to cry because I see a fat girl staring back at me.

I'm not thin...but I am thinner...

OK, I'm going to do something that does not feel good now...I'm going to put up a photo of myself at my heaviest. It was a weight I was at for over a year. I know when I went to the doctor, about 2 months after this photo was taken, that I weighed...well, let's say it was just shy, very very shy (3 pounds) of 300.

You do the math...

I know I gained weight afterwards. But I use that number as my "official" number because it is the one I know for a fact is what I weighed at one point.

I've cut out my friend to protect her innocence...because I love her...

OK, here goes...

Wow...

here is another one...deep breath...here goes...and again I have cut out my friend in the photo...this was taken while standing on top of a nuclear submarine while we were in Hawaii...

A lot of you who read this blog saw me everyday...or frequently. You remember what I looked like. But some of you never saw me in my full fat glory.

So there is is...

And no, it doesn't feel good to look at it...but it does remind me how far I have come and why I don't want to be there again.

I really don't EVER want to go there again...EVER...

When I think of how good I feel NOW and how it just gets better every day, well, I wonder how I lived like that for so long.

Today I joyously showed Dimples a little something fun...I held up my wrist with my heart monitor watch on it and I did a little adjustment. We do it from time to time...so I told him I wanted to show him something and I held up my wrist...

And I started adjusting the "weight" number...down...

with each little click to adjust it down, his smile got bigger...and that number got smaller.

Now, it is not a GOOD number. I am not thin or svelte or small...but I am so much better than the woman in the pictures above.

But it is a number I haven't been at in a long long long time.

And the fact that the other night 2 12 year-old boys declared me the prettiest girl at the party is something that DOES feel good...because they have known me pretty much all of their lives...and nothing is sweeter than the honesty of children.

Before writing this blog I read a blog I regularly follow. It is written by a very funny (and gorgeous) girl who had the lap band procedure and has lost a lot of weight...like 160 pounds or so...

I enjoy her humor and observtions. Her journey has been different because she is banded (and with that comes a host of food things) but I can relate to the feelings she has about losing weight and working out and keeping it off. She's hit her goal weight...she is stunning.

But she blogged about wondering if she was always meant to be a fat person. And she cried about it to her girlfriend...even though she is much thinner and has a pretty cute figure now. And she feels bad that she sometimes holds a grudge against herself for letting herself ever be a fat person...and with all that comes with it...with her stretched out body, etc.

(Here's a link to her blog if you want to read it...she's pretty funny...scroll down and find some of her older posts...I laugh out loud a lot...
http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com/2011/01/naked-crying.html
she's good...)

I can totally relate...because is is exactly how I feel.

Because I have been here before and I have been fat fat fat before. More than once. And I am so afraid that something will happen and I will be there again.

Oh, that doesn't feel good either...

But I really do hope and believe that this time it is for good. This time I can stick with it. Because I am worth it...and that, my friends, does feel good to say...

So I am off to make dinner (salmon on a bed of arugula with blueberries)and then a nice long soak in the tub...which will feel very very very good...

Because a hot bath feels good
and working out feels good
and eating healthy feels good

and wine would feel really good but I'm cutting out wine during the week so no wine for me...

And Oprah...yes, meeting Oprah would feel good...I had the dream again last night...I met Oprah and she gave me a Vera Wang dress...like a fairy godmother! It felt good to put it on...it was satin and sexy...and very very very Vera...

I don't know why I am obsessed with Oprah...but I am...

And maybe tomorrow I will post a photo of me now...if I will ever agree to let someone take a photo of me! (Dimples is asking for it so I guess I will).

Inspiration Song: "Feel Good Time" by Pink. Off the "Charlie's Angels" soundtrack...a really good pump-you-up make you feel good tune...

Bye Darlings...go and do something that makes YOU feel good.