Sunday, November 27, 2016

I Want You Back

Hi Darlings,

This is will be the fastest blog I have ever written...hopefully my computer will cooperate...and I seem to have lost the ability to type and spell...

Looks like tomorrow is the day...unless I get an early phone call canceling we are gonna kick this cancer to the curb.

And I am ready for it...

I'm tired of feeling bad and hurting and worrying and wondering and being afraid...

I have been overwhelmed by your love and support...truly you have no idea how much it all means to me.

So get those tiaras ready and take a photo and tag me in...for some reason unless you tag me in with my name it won't post to my timeline and I can't figure out how to fix it...

So tiara on and take a selfie...

I'm really trying to be brave.

I have to be.

I had to be brave and stick a needle in my stomach 3 times (no that was not fun but I prefer that to dying of a blood clot).

I've had to be brave for my kids and my students.

I miss the old me.

I miss the me before cancer.

The girl who got to go to spin and yoga.

That girl.

The one who relentlessly posted about how much she loved to exercise.

I miss my cocktails.

Haven't really wanted one since all the pain started.

And once you hear "cancer" you further clean up your act and one glass of wine feels scary.

Not that I drank that much before...but I am pretty sure my body is wondering what happened to "Dirty Martini Saturday"...

I want her back...the girl with the workouts
the girl who drank martinis

I also want the girl who didn't live in pain back

And the one who cooked things other than soup

And that girl who got to be with her students

And who didn't spend a lot of time in bed

And how dear heaven how I want my Meloxicam back

If I ever am caught stealing it will not be illicit drugs...it will be an arthritis medication.

Dear Meloxicam,
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways...
I love thee for allowing me to spin
For you giveth me a lack of pain
I love thee for allowing me to do yoga
for you giveth me the ability to stretch
Meloxicam, Meloxicam
where for art thou, Meloxicam?

And sitting in a bottle in my kitchen is that magical drug that I long to get back in my body so my joints will stop reminding me that along with cancer I have arthritis.

"Alex, I will take "Things that can go wrong with your body" for $1000 please!"
Answer :what is Arthritis?

Yeah, cancer is not the answer anyone wants...

not that arthritis is desirable but between the two....

ehhhhhhhhhh....

yeah, I am sticking with the bad joints

So yeah, I am ready for that girl to come back...one is doesn't want to cry when she gets up from a chair...

So much can happen tomorrow...but I can't think about anything but the good...

I am watching Guardians of the Galaxy as I type this...and I am reminded of my dream of my surgeon and her resident and my gynecologist walking into the surgical suite suited up as the Guardians...

Let's call them the:

GUARDIANS OF THE GYNO

because they are gonna fix me!

I have to stay positive...

So if you are so inclined, take a photo with a tiara on

And maybe do a dance for me...

I'll let you know how I am doing and when I come out the other side as:

CANCER SURVIVOR

Because

I, AND MY ROCKSTAR SURGEON AND THE MOST GORGEOUS GYNO IN THE WORLD ARE GONNA KICK CANCER IN THE ASS TOMORROW

Inspiration Song: I  told GOTT to have the kids pray and then dance to "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5 for me tomorrow...I want them to dance like they are Baby Groot...I want video of it...because you can't be scared or sad if you are dancing like Groot to this song...I'm gonna do it too...

Bye Darlings...I'll see you when I have kicked cancer out of me...dance like you are Groot...and PUT ON YOUR TIARAS AND SHINE FOR ME!!!!


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