Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Killer Queen

I have a friend who once told me that my "Theme Song" is Killer Queen by Queen...

At first I was slightly insulted but then again, he's right...

I mean, I am sorta the kind of girl described in the song. Not all of it is true but...

So here is my little explanation of why I am a Killer Queen...

(my notes in italics)

She keeps Moet et Chandon
In a pretty cabinet
(no, it's in my bar...but I wish I had a pretty cabinet...and I prefer red wine and Stoli)
'Let them eat cake' she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
(hmmmm...only if I bake it...)
A built-in remedy
For Khrushchev and Kennedy
(ok, they are dead...)
At anytime an invitation
You can't decline
(I am a damn good hostess...tonight I'm making homemade Mexican food for GOTTESS, GOTT, and GOTTSON)

Caviar and cigarettes
(too salty and not good for you)
Well versed in etiquette
(I am...I am...although last night I was bitchy and walked out of an exercise class...more on that at a later date)
Extraordinarily nice
(yes I am...very nice...)

She's a Killer Queen
("yup" to quote my friend)
Gunpowder, Gelatine
(ok, not entirely sure what that means...explosive?)
Dynamite with a laser beam
(never shot a laser beam but I used to be a damn good shot with a .22)
Guaranteed to blow your mind
(ok, I'm just gonna leave that one alone...)

Recommended at the price
(I'm not cheap, but I'm worth it...)
Insatiable an appetite
(uh yeah...I used to weigh 300 pounds...)
Wanna try?
(please let it be a man who likes red wine and Modern Family)

To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
(no, I have lived here since 2000....but I will be moving next year)
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
(not really...more like the hick from South Texas that I am)
Met a man from China
Went down to Asia Minor
(no, I have never done that...)
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined
(ok, those lines confuse me...)

Perfume came naturally from Paris
(yes, Thierry Mugler "Angel"...I call it "get a man's attention")
for cars she couldn't care less
(very true...I drive an 8 year old Suburban...but I do like a man who drives a truck...any man can drive a car...real men drive trucks...I want a guy with a TRUCK...double cab...with running boards so I can get in)
Fastidious and precise


Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
(I can be)
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild
She's out to get you
(no I'm not...really, I'm not...)


Recommended at the price
(remember, I'm worth it...)
Insatiable in appetite
(again...300 pounds)
Wanna try?
You wanna try.
(someone might sometime...he better be brave...)

So this is a lazy little blog but I gotta get ready for the GOTT family to come over...but I wanted to leave you all with a bit of amusement...

Inspiration Song...what else? Killer Queen by Queen...my "theme song" according to my friend...

Bye Darlings...be a Killer Queen or King...conquer EVERYTHING

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