Friday, December 30, 2011

Golden Years

Ok so I picked on men yesterday...don't get me wrong, I really really like men...I love the man-child in my house and some day I will love a man in a romantic way...but they do confuse and confound me.

So today I will put the picking on others aside and pick on myself...

I went back and re-read some old blogs...just to see where I was a year ago. As I read about my frustration with my weight I am reminded that I felt something was holding me back.

And that something...an unhappy marriage.

My ex is a nice man...I won't pick on him...I did that yesterday.

But I was unhappy and I think the key to unlocking my joy was to tell him we needed to move on without each other.

I. Am. Happy. Now.

period

I am happy now

And I feel good...and I feel healthy and I think I look pretty good.

So here is the New Year's Resolution list I made last year...my notes and comments are in italics...

To keep eating right and working out...and be a healthy fit, woman!
I am

To keep working with Dimples and hit a 400 calorie burn...often...
I still do...and I'm down to my lowest weight in ages...and I just did a workout with Dimples and he will ALWAYS be my Dimples...brother and trainer...

To wear one of my mother's dresses...maybe more than one...
I did...I wore the Vera to the Medieval Feast party and my mama's Gucci dress to my son's tie ceremony and I wear her coats a lot...From a size 24 to an 8 in a year...that is my miracle.

To put on a great Medieval Feast with my friend Athena Gal for Bacchus and the kids.
OMG did we do an awesome job or what...I don't think I can ever chair a big event again if I don't have Athena Gal by my side...she is the best partner ever...and she is just a dang fabulous person...I luuurrrvvv her so much...and the feast was an amazing day...just amazing...

To look into getting my teaching certificate...and maybe just do it...
OK, I didn't get that done but I did get certified to be a spin instructor...does that count?

To help GOTT and TTG put on the best "Peter Pan" ever!
Hmmm...this one is not my fault...they pulled the rights to the show from us so we ended up doing Annie...and it was a very very good show...and THIS year we are doing Peter Pan...I so hope my son ends up as Smee or Hook...

To not let the scale discourage me...and to let my clothes encourage me
Spot on...I hardly step on the scale at all..in fact all summer I didn't weigh myself. My clothes DO encourage me...because I can pretty much wear anything I want and I'm pretty happy with my size...just still need the tummy tuck to tighten up the loose skin...

To be able to run a mile without wanting to die...and maybe even try for 2 if my knees will let me. But I hate running...
I did make that 2 mile mark...and then my knee shut me down. But I do cardio almost every day and still burn...and JayVee shreds the calories off of me in spin class...

To get control of my "bad toddler" (aka my new camera)and stop having to have Coach Sweetness tell me what to do every step of the way
Ok, the camera is still a bad toddler...but I have gotten better and by lacrosse season I had controlled it enough to take some amazing photos...

To help Ke$ha Barbie get into a good college
We are still working on that...

To help Dimples get a bootcamp started (email me if you want to join us!)
We did and we had a blast...

To spend more time with my friends
I do and I love it...I get to see AngelAmy every day since she stays with me during the week, I see Twirler Girl frequently, I love spending as much time as possible with D-Nice, and last night I went out for girls night with my lovies...they keep me going and keep me a bit insane too and that is all good...

To tell my friends how much I love them and appreciate them...more often!
I do...

To spend as much time with my children as they will allow me...they will be gone all too soon!
I do...

To decorate for Christmas...
I did! And even bought a new tree!

To use more glitter and fairy dust (stealing this one from my friend V)...but I honestly love love love glitter and sparkle.
I did...GOTT even let me sparkle the heck out of one costume this time...and since we are doing Peter Pan this year I get to use some pixie dust...at least for Tinkerbell...

To pray more...and to thank God more...
I do

To de-clutter my house...and learn that throwing away something that belonged to my mother does not mean I don't love her...it just means I don't need that thing...
I have

To do things that scare me more often...to try new things...to push myself...
I do...and it feels good...and I have learned to be a little more open...and when the really good looking man asked for my number? Even though it scared me...I gave it to him...

To get Oprah to notice me (well, I have to dream a little...)
I LOVE this! Because it happened...and I went to the show...and it was a dream come true! And I got to do it with my Aunt Jane (the best person in the world...) and it was truly a magical thing...

To laugh more...
I do

To write more...
I do

To celebrate every day more...because every day is worth celebrating!
I do

So now what is on my list for 2012?

hmmmm....

It may look a lot like the last one...

So for 2012 my resolutions are:

1) I'm gonna get Ke$ha Barbie into a good college....and get her moved out and settled at school

2) I'm gonna sell my house and find a new place to call home...and it will be ok...

3) I'm gonna continue on my path to health and fitness

4) Get the tummy tuck done

5) Help GOTT and TTG with Peter Pan...and my son will be wonderful in whatever role he has...

6) To survive getting my son into a private high school...and to survive him being a freshman

7) To get my divorce finalized

8) To go back to my maiden name when my divorce is finally finalized...

9) To survive graduation....and graduation parties

10) To be open to opening my heart to a new man...one who will drink red wine with me and drives a big ass truck...and brings me lilies...and tells me I'm pretty...and to not freak out if he says he has a grandchild...I just have to accept the age bracket that I am in ...

11) To be able to throw things out or give things away and be good with it because wherever I move will be a smaller place and I need to downsize...I have downsized my body...need to downsize my "stuff" now

12) And I know divorce means changes in how much I get to see my kids so I am making peace with that and will continue to do so...

13) To continue to put my children first...

14) To spend more time with my friends and family

15) To laugh more...to love more...to grow

So I guess that list is pretty good for me...not making any big promises I can't keep because a resolution should be something you can DO. I'm not putting numbers down for weight loss or dress sizes...I'm just gonna stay healthy and if the numbers continue to drop then so be it.

Last year was a great year for me...even with the divorce...maybe because of the divorce.

I learned a lot about myself...

And next year, well it is gonna be a golden year...this one was silver...next year is gold...I can just feel it...

Inspiration Song: "Golden Years" by David Bowie...I play it a lot...

Bye darlings...have a golden year in 2012...be the best you ever!

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