Second Chance

We all need second chances...

do-overs so to speak...

although sometimes a second chance CAN actually be remaking something into a new life.

So whether it is a do-over or a re-make or recycle, everything needs a second chance

Well maybe not EVERYTHING but MOST things.

I gave my ex a second chance for 5 years and things didn't really change...but I did give him a second chance.  For me it was pretty clear that nothing was going to change and I needed out but for the sake of our kids I held on a little longer with the hope that things would improve but they did not...

And I wanted a second chance at life...my life...a better life...

And so I did take that second chance and asked for a divorce...but I do want it on the record that I did give him a second chance before any of you start telling me I should practice what I preach and I think this may be the biggest example of "did you give it a do-over?".

Yes.

I did.

I also gave myself a second chance at a healthy life when I started my diet.

And I gave myself a second chance at a "prettier" life when I had my surgery.

So all of this got me thinking about second chances.

It really hit me the other day when I went to SweetSally's spin class (not to be confused with SweetSallie because she is a different instructor altogether and I love them both).

The first few times I took her spin class I was like "meh" about it...but JayVee kept encouraging me to give her another chance.  I loved her as a person but as an instructor the jury was still out.

So on Sunday I went to her class and you know what?

I freakin' loved it...LOVED it...

Like she burned JayVee class kind of calories off me and her music rocked.

I.Am.A.Believer.

Except...

dammit now she is moving out of town this spring...

ugh...

But until then I will catch every class I can to soak up her awesome sweetness and the fun of her class.

I took a second chance again yesterday when I decided that I was ready for the "make me feel like puking" class that is ShockWave.  I am not ready for SweetSallie's boot camp (or JayVee's amazing Total Body Jam) yet, but I was ready for her ShockWave.

At least I thought I was until I had to row 450 meters...when I was done with that I thought I was not going to get a second chance but was headed to the Afterlife...(yes that was a few blogs ago).

I didn't get sick but it was a close one.

I am happy to report (because I know Dimples is reading this and will ask) that I only lost about 5-10% off my times on the rower. (The 10% being the 2 seconds I lost on my 100 meter rowing...up to 20 seconds from my usual 18).  There's your stats Dimples...

So giving ShockWave was a good second chance.

I do wish I was a recycler....but I'm not.  I mean I will reuse and repurpose things when I can but no I don't save my paper and cans...besides they don't have recycle trash pick up in my neighborhood.  I do, however, recycle my My Fit Food containers.  For some reason I cannot throw them away...so if you want some, let me know...I have a ton of them...I put all my leftovers in them and have even used them to pack and organize things...

Ke$ha Barbie gives clothes a second chance all the time.  She wears some of my mother's old things and repurposes them into things that I know my mom would never have thought to wear them like and she is also super fond of shopping at the Thrift Stores (Goodwill is too nice...she prefers Value Village and some place in Boston that you pay by the pound).  She gives those Bill Cosby Old Man sweaters new life on her...they are still Bill Cosby Old Man sweaters but she manages to rock them...but sometimes she still looks like a homeless troll...

Sometimes I give wine a second chance...now if it's bad it quickly gets labeled "cooking" and saved for that.

But on the off chance that I don't finish a bottle and it starts to not be drinkable I also use it for cooking...like in spaghetti sauce or to make a sauce.

Now those of you who know me well are probably thinking "when does she have a bottle of wine that she does not finish"...

Well, there are times...but that is usually only when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars...(and if you don't know what the hell I am talking about here you may be too young to read this blog...just sayin....Google it)

But yes I sometimes have leftover wine and it gets a second chance in spaghetti sauce...

Sometimes dinner gets a second chance...like I will often purposely cook more than The Cutest Boy in the World and I can eat because I know I want to use the leftovers for something else...like Tuesday I made fajitas and tonight I made fajita pizza...it saves me time and effort and basically TCBITW will eat anything if I put it on a pizza...

except broccoli
and corn
well pretty much any veggie but onions...

TCBITW does not do most veggies...he was the pickiest eater in the world as a child but is now pretty adventurous (like he will eat Ethiopian raw kitfo, loves raw but not cooked salmon and tuna, and is pretty happy at an Indian restaurant).

Veggies, well some veggies, have been given a second chance...like most beans...except peas and snow peas and green beans...and yes, I know peas are not a bean but...

and he ate a grilled artichoke the other night which shocked me so much I texted his father to tell him...

and he has always been a potato fan and is usually ok with onions...

now corn...that is the one he will NEVER give a second chance to...he literally detests corn...like he has thrown it up he hates it so much...he says it is a texture thing.  He will eat corn chips and popcorn and corn tortillas...just no corn.

Go figure...what kid does not eat corn?

My kid...

Me, I can't think of a veggie I won't eat and Ke$ha Barbie is pretty much the same...

I'm just glad that TCBITW is at an age where he is willing to try things he has before said he hated or did not like...

I often give people a second chance...

let me re-state that...I will always give people I LOVE a second chance and most times I will give people I LIKE a second chance...but if I didn't like you from the start, I have often found that my first impressions (and when I say first impression I don't mean 5 minutes of meeting you but maybe a few hours or days or times I have met you) of people are usually right.  I have been wrong but often if I meet someone and get to know them and find I don't care for them, even if I give them a second chance down the line it is rare that that person becomes a fixture in my life...

but I have been wrong...and a few I have changed my mind about.

When you DON'T get a second chance with me is when you:
abuse me or my friendship
take advantage of me or my kids
"use" me
or make me part of a lie that I have no part in...I will not be anyone's scapegoat...

Do that to me and it is "goodbye"...pretty much forever...

I am a loving and loyal friend and if an honest mistake is made you will be forgiven and given a second chance...but cross a line with me and I am as bad as Bobby Shelton about it...

you are voted off the island

forever

I may forgive you but you will not be let back on the island with me...you gotta float out there and hope no sharks come by that are hungry because I'm gonna stand on the sand of my island and push you back in the water if you try...

A few times I have let someone back on the island and it has not ended well...because I often find if someone abuses me once they will try again.

That is why I don't have a relationship with my stepmonster...

I will be polite to you but there will be no more sharing of the campfire and we sure as hell are not making smores together.

It's not that I don't forgive...there are people I have had misunderstandings with that I can fully say I was 60-99% to blame and things have ended well and forgiveness has happened on both ends and I am very relieved that I still have that person to love.

I forgive because I also want to be forgiven because heaven knows I need all but a papal blessing to get forgiven for many things in my life (which right now I can't get since there is no pope so I better behave...and I'm not Catholic).

I want a second chance...I have been given a second chance too many times to count...

So I give second chances.

But like the old adage:
fool me once, shame on you
fool me twice, shame on me...

you mess with me or my kids twice...game over...and you are voted off the island.

Second chances are important.  I try to daily...or at least weekly...give someone or something a second chance...

hell my cat gets a second and third chance almost hourly...

so I try...

So if you are reading this, and you think I am preaching...well, maybe I am...because as a Christian I know I have been given a second chance thanks to Jesus dying for me...and as a mom I know mistakes happen, and as a woman I know that men need forgiveness minute-by-minute...

So give someone or something a second chance...

and don't wait until the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars...because then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars...

Google it...

I might just have to blog on that one too...oh yeah...I think I will...

Inspiration Song: "Second Chance" by Shinedown...I love me some Shinedown...great band...and this is a great song...a few years ago I used a different "Second Chance" song by Peter Bjorn and John...

Bye Darlings...give someone or something a second chance...you will be glad you did...