Thursday, February 21, 2013

No Scrubs

Now part of me would really like to write this blog about:

1) not wanting to date a doctor...but actually I'm not sure I would be opposed to it...maybe....

or

2) not wanting to be around doctors...and no, I don't usually enjoy doctors...but I do love my plastic surgeon Dr. Bonnie Baldwin...

No, this has to do with one of my favorite hip-hop songs of all time...No Scrubs...by the great girl group TLC

here are the lyrics...

"No Scrubs"
A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)

[Chorus:]
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

But a scrub is checkin' me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash
Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time (no)

[Chorus]

If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty but you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrub
No scrub (no no)
No scrub (no no no no no)
No scrub (no no)

Since I've just spent my second Valentines Day alone as a single girl and although The Cutest Boy in the World makes a very fine valentine (especially now since he broke up with his adorable girlfriend...she was very cute and I still adore her...but he wanted to fly solo and since he is only 14 I have no problem with that), I think maybe at some point I would like to have a man that brought me chocolates and lilies (and maybe some Agent Provocateur lingerie) for a V-day gift.

Not that I am complaining mind you...I really am ok...I've had a pretty full plate what with wrestling and Ke$ha Barbie in college and my surgery...but at some point it might be nice to have someone to share wine with (preferably Michael David Rapture)...and I don't want no scrub...

So with apologies to Tameka Cottle, Kandi Burruss (yes, THE Kandi from "Real Housewives of Atlanta") and Kevin Briggs (the songwriters), I would like to give you MY version...the "White Chick Middle Aged Barbie" version...

A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
And is also known as a loser...
Always talking about what he NEEDS
And just sits on his big ass
so (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want to share any kind of wine (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out at the bar all night
with a bunch of guys
trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out on eharmony
and match.com
trying to get attention from me

But a scrub is checking me
and his game is very weak
and I know that he can't approach me
because I'm looking like class and he looks like an asss
can't get with no dumbass
so (no)

I don't want your email (no)
I don't want to give you mine (no)
I don't want to meet you anywhere (no)
I don't want to none of your kind (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out at a club all night
with random guys
trying to meet girls like me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
drinking beer  and
watching sports all night
trying to date a girl like me

If you have a truck but don't DRIVE it
oh yes man I am talking to you
If you live at home with your mama
oh yes fella I'm talking to you
You have kids but you don't show loving
oh yes dude I'm talking to you
Want to get with me with no money
oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrubs
No scrubs

I don't want no scrubs
a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out at at all the wrong spots
while drinking a bunch
trying to date a girl like me...

OK, you get the picture...

I just want a dude that drives a big ass truck, has a job, doesn't spend his spare time at bars and clubs, loves children, thinks my friends are great (because they are) and knows I like lilies.  Throw in blue eyes, dimples, a great sense of humor and enjoys working out and we might have a winner...

I am seriously considering making any guy that wants to date me go through an interview with GOTT and GOTTESS and JayVee and The Hunk and maybe KuteKaren and RoyBoy too...I mean schools do it for admissions so why shouldn't some guy get screened and approved by the people I love...

Once he passes that test he would have to pass the ultimate...D'nice...and she won't let no scrubs near me for sure...Lord help the man that tries to get past her that isn't up to HER standards for me...

On second thought I might be alone for a long time...

and for now...that's ok...

because I don't want no scrub...

I'd rather be alone

Inspiration Song: "No Scrubs" by TLC.  The other day JayVee asked me to burn her an old school hip hop song from my library and it brought to mind this song...as it is one of her favorites and mine she played it in spin class and it was a "10" on the fun scale...I sang every word...loudly...drove the Tamster nuts but Tiff loved it...

Bye Darlings...I don't want no scrubs...unless they are on a really good looking doctor who drives a truck and will go watch musical theater with me and knows I prefer cabernet to pinot...




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