Monday, June 20, 2011

You Wear It Well

I have become a shopaholic...

Well, that's not exactly true...I've been a shopaholic for quite some time. But lately I have been craving some cute new clothes.

I was really thinking I would hold off until Dr. Bonnie Baldwin got her hands (or scalpel) on me but I just need some new clothes and I have been indulging...

In things like:

maxi dresses
fitted dresses
cute shorts
new v-neck t-shirts
mini skirts
and shoes...

lots and lots of shoes...

all with dangerous heels...

because I can...

I've even begun to shop at some shops I never thought I would set foot in...like Bebe and BCBG and Free People...and Anthropologie...and Victoria's Secret.

Today I went to Bebe and purchased a very cute halter-cut polo top in red to wear to The Cutest Boy in the World's camp closing...people it is hotter than Hades at that closing and we are forced to sit in the sun forever while they pass at the awards...at 3:00 in the afternoon...it's not hot then (hahahahaha). So I needed something cool to wear, and it had to be red because that is my son's "team's" (they call it a "ranch") color.

I also bought a maxi dress...a sexy little halter that skims my body.

I never thought I would wear something that "skims my body"...but it looks good and will look better when Dr. Baldwin does her magic.

You can't not be happy with a dress that is basically a nightgown.

Last week when I was costuming the kids for Willy Wonka I was sitting with my friend...let's call her Maggie May (she knows who she is...I call her Maggie May cause the Maggie is like her name and "May" because she is a sunny gal like the month of May...and I like May...). Anyway, Maggie May and I were discussing the jeans I had requested her daughter wear...we laughed about what our definition of "too tight" and our daughter's definition of "too tight" is...

Very. Different. Things.

Ke$ha Barbie wears some things that make me shudder.

There was the infamous "too tight and too short" dress for Cotillion.

When your daughter says "I'm not sure I can sit down in this" you have to pause and worry a little...

So Maggie May thought she needed to get her daughter a new pair of jeans but the beautiful child decided that the ones she had were just fine...and actually, they were...

We laughed about how when we were in college we would wear tight jeans.

I had some teal washed ones that had zippers at the ankle so I could get them on. I had to lay on the bed and spray them down with water to get them zipped. And then my roommate would use pliers or a coathanger to get them zipped up.

Mind you I weighed 104 pounds dripping wet.

Now let's talk about shoes...a subject that I can endlessly converse about.

You see for many years I could only wear flip flops, Crocs, and clogs.

But now...I like me some stilletos. And wedges. And chunky heeled sandals. And platforms.

The higher the better.

5 inch heels don't intimidate me.

And I never met a pair of Michael Kors heels that I couldn't love...

One day I long to own a pair of Manolo Blahniks or Jimmy Choo's or...

(say it with reverance people...)

CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTINS

(Gonna need a good Sugar Daddy for that)

But for now I am very content with Steve Madden, Guess, Bebe, Jessica Simpson, and...my love, Michael Kors...

I wore a pair once and a friend remarked:

"Geez Hun...can you even WALK in those?"...

yes, I could...very well thankyouverymuch....

I still put on my flip flops....my crystal adorned ones...but I love rocking the high heels.

A year ago I blogged about wearing flippy little skirts. I have a few...but they are not so much in style.

Today I tried on a few dresses with flippy little skirts...in a "medium" thankyouverymuch...and although I "liked" I didn't "love" them.

Camiel's Godmother, the magficent "Super Sal" taught me a neat trick...

We call it...."Is it a 5?"

So here's what you do....you try something on...and if it stinks...well, that's a zero or 1.

If it is ok but not great...a 2

If it is good but not great...a 3

If it is bordering on great...a 4

And if it is awesome and the price is right...well my friends, that is a 5...

I try to only buy 3's, 4's or 5's....

The maxi dress...a an easy 4...5 when Dr. Baldwin bumps up the boobs...

A few $14 t-shirts...easy 4's

The turquoise strapless tight little dress from Bebe....that was a 5...

As for jeans so tight I need a coathanger...well that can only be a 2...

And things like ponchos, terry cloth rompers, cutoffs (at my age), and bat-wing tops all need to remain 1's for me....

So I will shop till I drop...I deserve it...I've gone from a 24 to an 8...and I plan to show off my hard work.

Inspiration Song: Ok, there are 2 different versions of "You Wear it Well" and they are not the same song. The one I am talking about is the one by Debarge from the 80's. Rod Stewart did one but I'm not much of a Rod fan nor am I fan of the song...but the Debarge song...pure 80's...I think I danced on a bar (wearing the teal washed jeans) to that song...in fact, I'm pretty darn sure I did...

Bye Darlings...rock what you wear...wear it well...

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