Thursday, September 23, 2010

Tell 'Em

Tell 'Em...

tell 'em what?

I haven't blogged for a while...I've been super busy and not had much to say. Not anything relevant...not that I think I ever say anything relevant.

I'm getting close to my halfway mark...sliding down the scale...clothes fitting differently...I feel different! 2 pounds and I am there...HALFWAY there. Halfway gone. I have lost enough weight to equal the weight of a child...a 5th grade child at that.

I imagine carrying that kid on my back and realize that is what I was carrying around on my body every hour of every day for the last several years.

I actually looked around the REGULAR sized department at Dillard's the other day and realized that I did not need to go to the plus-size department.

That felt good.

That felt DAMN good.

I didn't buy anything because I didn't see anything I couldn't live without, but I saw things that I could easily fit into.

And this was after taking Ke$ha Barbie shopping for a Cotillion dress.

Ke$ha Barbie wears a size "0" (zero). Sometimes a "00".

I don't ever need to fit into a zero...I'm just glad I don't have a zero after another number as my dress size.

Usually a shopping trip like that would have made me ultra-depressed, but I actually left the store feeling pretty good---even after the SECOND trip I made to Dillard's because Ke$ha Barbie left her shoes in the dressing room.

It also helped that we stayed UNDER budget for the dress...and we had the cutest guy helping us who I want as my new best friend because he complained about his husband as much as I did mine...and I really loved him for convincing Ke$ha Barbie that she indeed looked amazing in the dress and that it did not need to be altered. Adore him!

I look forward to buying a dress for ME from him.

In the meantime I purchased some great little dresses to "throw on and go" in that were NOT in a plus size. That was awesome.

I told GOTT the other day that I was really happy because I got to order my "show" t-shirt (we always do a shirt for the kids and us to wear) in a smaller size. He was proud of me. Love love love GOTT...

So what else is new?

The Cutest Boy in the World's football team is undefeated. He is having a blast. I adore the coaches---even the one who I thought hated me.

In fact, I had the following exchange with the coach yesterday(the one I thought hated me). We were at the football game. It started to rain pretty hard. Then it quickly stopped. I was drenched but thankfully wearing fast-drying clothes (because I was going to Body Pump afterwards).

Here is the play-by-play...and I must admit the witty quip I gave him came from my new favorite chica, Trainer Girl, who is the trainer that comes to the games to make sure the boys aren't hurt. She is cute and fun and shares my total infatuation with Alexsander Skarsgard (our vampire...I will share him).

Me: Sooooooo, Coach....look at me...I got wet and didn't proves I am not a witch!

Coach: hahahahha...(and then he gives me a wary look)

Me: just sayin'...not a witch...

Coach: OK, and I get it ....

and we laughed some more.

We are "good" now...and I am glad because my son loves him...

Told Coach Dimples (the head coach...he has cute dimples!) the same thing...that I didn't melt because I am not a witch...nor am I made of sugar...I am just somewhere in between. But I do have witch powers and can call out the flying monkeys when I need to.

He liked that...I got dimples for that...

So what has kept me from blogging?

Well...I taught for GOTT for a few days while he needed to be out with his son (I love teaching drama and I will always teach for GOTT). My art history lessons (we call it Art a la Carte) are starting tomorrow and I am the organizer for our group of moms so that has kept me busy. I am costuming Seussical. Football and football photography have occupied me. Just stuff...

So when I thought about sitting down to blog I thought "what do I have to say? What do I have to tell them?".

I realized that I hadn't shared my "defining moment" with you as to what made me finally get my inner skinny girl to wake up from hibernation.

You would think that having a father who had bypass surgery at 59 would be enough. You would think that hating how I looked would be enough. You would think that approaching a really scary horrible number on the scale would be enough (I never weighed myself). You would think that my dress size being a scary number would be enough. You would think that my doctor suggesting lap band would be enough. You would think that friends telling me they we worried for my health would be enough.

But it wasn't.

Like a chemically dependent person, I had to hit rock bottom and come to the decision to change by myself.

"Hello, my name is Anice and I am totally addicted to sugar, fat, bacon, cheese, fried foods, and cupcakes!"

I got used to being fat. I got used to feeling bad about myself and how I looked. I got used to shopping in the fat-chick stores and accepting it.

So that defining moment?

Not such a big deal. And I guess that is why I haven't specifically written about it.

It was a tiny thing. Just a little incident. But boy did it wake me up...

So here it is what happened that made me say "woman, get hold of yourself and CHANGE and lose some weight and get in shape and stop hiding behind your fat"...

You will laugh because it is so insignificant. It was literally nothing...but it was everything...and it changed my life.

It was simply, a trip up the stairs.

I was walking up the stairs with a teacher friend. We were discussing a project I was helping him with. He glides up the stairs with ease on his young, healthy legs. I huff and puff my way up the stairs.

And then we go into his room and I can't catch my breath. I am breathing heavily. He tries not to look concerned. I make a crack about being so winded.

And then thunder struck...

When I left his room I made a promise to myself that I would beat him up the stairs and not be winded and worried I was having a heart attack.

I have...beaten him up the stairs...

in heels...

he even "raced" me a bit...I reminded him he was a lot younger and wearing loafers and I was in a skirt and heels...big wedge heels...

we got to the top of the stairs and I took a deep breath and smiled...

so did he...

because he knew that I couldn't do that 6 months ago...but now I can go up the stairs with him and not have to stop the conversation because I am out of breath...

and I do it in heels...

Love love love that man...

So that is what did it...a trip up the stairs!

My wake-up and smell the fat moment.

Everyone struggles with something. Everyone has things they want to change, improve, or re-define. I am not alone in this. I have all of you. And I am not the only person I know going through a change and struggling with it. I don't think for one moment that there is anything special or inspirational about myself. I just know that I didn't want to need to sit down after climbing up one set of stairs and I know that I feel better when I share how I feel and what motivates me.

So tell 'em....what do I mean by "tell 'em"?

Its not the story of why...its not what is going on in my life.

I'm telling is the "tell 'em"...


for being on this journey with me....for supporting me...for every time one of you stops me and tells me that you are proud of me or how good I look.

Because I need a lot of positive reinforcement...because I can't have cupcakes...and because GOTT is going to get tired of clapping for me (about the weight loss...he still has to clap for my costumes)...

Inspiration Song..."Tell 'Em" by Sleigh Bells. Alternative pop/rock but don't let it scare you. It is a great song to work out to. And it has a great line that I always sing to myself:
"did you do your best today? Did you do your best today?"

Make that answer a resounding "YES"...

Bye darlings!

1 comment:

  1. Great blog and I love your nothing stories.
    You are doing great and so