Well I had my second chemo session yesterday...2 down/4 to go...
I think the worst thing about chemo is the unknown.
you see I haven't had chemo until December 23...and then again on January 13 (that's right people I had chemo on Friday the 13th...)
and I damn sure hope I never do again after these 6 little rides on the poison wagon...
I've taken a few friends to chemo appointments but I was usually told I could leave once I got them settled in bed and ready to go because there is a lot of "pre-stuff" that goes with a chemo appointment so by that time it was usually time for me to "tag out" and someone else to "tag in"
Knowing that, that is how I am structuring my "chemo buddies"...
I'm trying to come up with a better name...
i need something more glamorous...I will come up with it...
ah...
MY CHEMO COURT!!!!!
That's it!
All the duchesses who will be driving me and assisting me are part of my Chemo Court!
My friend Chris found some tiny tiaras the other day and he brought them to lunch...I think everyone should wear one if they are in my chemo court...
So where do I begin to describe the magical journey that is chemo?
I'll start not with the treatment itself, but rather how some friends made sure I knew I was loved and that they were supporting me before I hit up the chemo wagon...
you know you are loved when your friends want to send you off for your first round of chemo with a party and that is just what they did...mind you this was 3 days before Christmas and in the midst of all their shopping and prep (and two of them who work fancy retail jobs even escaped for my little swanky send-off) they took time to take me to lunch...
at my favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican place (Club No Minor)...because if you are gonna go get poison the next day you might as well drink a skittles colored margarita and start the poison early.
They even made t-shirts to support me...
that's some real love people and my hot tamale SuperSandra is our little squad's social director so she made it all happen...
more than anything surrounding yourself with people who love you and you love and matter to you is what matters most...it was the best Christmas gift I got---quality time with people I love...
So the next day was the big bad chemo day...
and my first day of having my brain frozen with the cold caps I am using to keep my hair.
I barely slept the night before because I was so worried about all of it...
would it hurt?
would it burn?
could I manage to stand wearing something on my head that is below zero in temperature?
would I feel the chemo?
would my port work?
would I get sick?
that and about 1000 other questions filled my brain...
My Aunt Jane was out of town so my surrogate mom SweetShari took me to the clinic. It's up in my doc's office so it's easy to get to.
We put the first cap on me and burst out laughing...it looks pretty silly and just to be sillier we decided I needed to wear my tiara...
Now this is a look sure to catch a man...or at least get a laugh...
Normally when I have chemo I have to go in early and get blood drawn and then see Dr. Rockstar but that particular morning I was exempt from seeing her so she didn't get to see me in my getup until yesterday...she's fascinated...
which makes me get the feeling that after I kick cancer in the ass I might have to become some sort of awareness ambassador for cold caps..
Anyway.....the caps are at -25 degrees (yes, that is a minus sign) so when you put it on you get a brain freeze...but it only lasts a few minutes...
you wear a cap for 25 minutes and then change it out for a new cold one. I have a big rolling ice chest and 60 lbs of dry ice to freeze the caps...the caps have a gel in them that freezes and basically is like the worse swim cap ever...
(and now you know everything you ever wanted to know about cooling caps...trust me there are more fascinating details---but I will spare you)
The rolling ice chest got a lot of looks until I realized that I was the ONLY person using the cold caps so they all just thought I was super hungry and brought enough lunch to feed everyone in the infusion center...
I will spare you the details of the following:
accessing my port
what it means to access my port
I will just say it is terrifying the first time but it's not any more painful than a pin prick.
No physical pain...but when i looked down to see the catheters coming out of me I got a bit teary eyed...it's scary
After that I got settled into a bed and they started my pre-meds (benadryl, nausea meds, steroid) and then came the big bad poison.
My nurse was all gloved and gowned up when he hooked me up. He explained that they chemo was just freshly put together for me and that there was a whole lab full of people in white hazmat gear that do it. They risk their lives because what the chemo does to me could also do to them if they come in contact with it.
Because it is literally poison...says so right on the bag:
(that was my most recent bag)
So what does it feel like when they put the poison into you?
pain...searing pain...feels like fire running through your veins...you want to scream...
NAH...
FOOLED YA!
That's what I THOUGHT it was going to be like but honestly it felt like...nothing
and yet it felt like everything...
I cried...a lot...
I cried the second round of chemo too...
I think it is because I just never imagined I would have to have chemotherapy...never in a million years...
It's emotional for me...I'm depending on that drug to save my life but it will do some damage to me in the process of killing cancer...and it makes me feel pretty awful afterwards.
But it is a miracle and I am blessed to receive it...
Twirler Girl has been on relief duty for the last two times...she swoops in with lunch and relieves whoever brought me (my Aunt Jane did this last time) and she takes over the duty of helping me change out the cold caps every 25 minutes.
It takes about 5 hours to do the whole infusion business and then I get to go home.
5 hours every 3 weeks to live....
and that room is full of people all day long every day...and those nurses give so beautifully to all of us...I'm so blessed because they are incredible people and I love them all...
Here are two of my favorite ladies...they work with my surgeon/oncologist...they make every visit more fun and keep me sane and calm:
People make the difference when it comes to things like chemo and cancer...I've been blessed that I have the best nurses, techs, and doctors in the world...
So there you go...my most boring blog to date but it might answer some of the burning questions you have about my health (because it is ALL ABOUT ME PEOPLE! I mean I know you ALL are wanting to follow my every move on this journey....KIDDING...trust me even I don't want to know all of this crap).
How does it feel after?
Not much nausea at all (thank goodness)
More hot flashes (so much fun)
and tired...like going 9 rounds with Muhammed Ali at his prime tired...
achy like the flu
and hunger from the steroids...cheesecake and other bad stuff happens...
Basically it's not fun but totally manageable...
I know a lot of people have had it so much worse than I do...I mean I know there are far more badass types of chemo and others have had to do it more often...I am very lucky...
I promise the next blog will be more fun or uplifting or soul filling...but for now I just wanted to share my journey with you and let you know it's ok...
and please, if you know someone who is about to go through chemo that wants to keep their hair show them my story...we need to get the word out so more people can keep their hair and maybe insurance will cover it...
Inspiration Song: Poison Arrow by ABC...because I loved it and the video...and if you are a fan of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, here is the video that goes with the song...you might spy someone familiar to you that is on RHOBH...remember it was over 30 years ago...
https://youtu.be/a70yJwgQtzo
(I am sorry it won't embed the video....just copy the url)
Bye Darling...shoot that poison arrow to kill the cancer...it's so gonna be gone...
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