Maybe

Ok...I'm not getting lazy with my blog but, well, maybe I am...

It's not really (all) my fault...my computer was hijacked by my 17 year old daughter. It seems that she has either:
1)broken her new power cord for her powerbook
2)has a powerbook that breaks power cords
or
3)has a broken powerbook

God I hope it is not #3...

so she took over my computer to do a term paper...one she decided to start on Sunday at 2:00...that was due Monday.

Her excuse...prom was the night before.

I'll post photos of her and her cute boyfriend later...and yes, she looked totally amazing.

But just when I think I'm going to get my computer back she has more homework to do.

I'm going to the damn apple store with her computer tomorrow. I want my Mac back...

and to top it off, my ex took the good printer and has left me with the old one...which he claims is easy as pie to set up but when I tried to bribe him with dinner he did nothing more than install the software disk and it's not working...

and I need my darn printer...

so things are not good tech-wise in my house.

I did spend the weekend rearranging the furniture and working with D-Nice to "cute" up the place. And when the ex told me he didn't like where I hung something I said:

"too bad you don't get an opinion anymore about it"

Hey...I can't be nice all the time.

So today I got to chaperone a field trip. That wasn't so bad...84 kids in an art museum. My group actually LOOKED at the art. They even asked questions. They got all excited when they saw the Seurat paintings and all the little dots. They knew that Manet and Monet were not the same guy...

Oh yes, and my "group" was 7 13-year-old boys...

I hear the shock and awe from you...

BTW, if you are in Houston you need to go to the MFA and see the Impressionist Exhibit while it is here. I will come with you and lead you and be your docent if you want. I know my Cassatts from my Degas and Renior...

So after the art museum we let them run loose in the sculpture garden and then took them to the Museum of Natural Science to watch an IMAX film about some dinosaur that lived in the ocean billions of years ago.

Now you are asking...that's the best description she can give?

Well, yes...because I slept through it.

It was dark and comfy in there and I didn't sleep well last night...so I took a little catnap.

Then I got to and deal with lacrosse junk...some day I will get paid for what I do for the school...in the meantime I have told my precious "boys" (the coaches) that I like pink lilies...and they darn better sure present me with a giant bouquet when the season is over.

After that it was Dimples time. He decided to punish me for my bad behavior (cheese and 5 or 6 dirty Belvedere Martinis...don't ask...just know that I got up and did spin class and body pump the next day and managed to sweat out the Belvedere vodka and the Tom Ford Black Orchid perfume I wore the night before).

Dimples now uses Oprah as a means to control me. He just keeps saying "don't you want to be on Oprah? She won't call if you stop"...

I am so doing something terribly evil to him soon. I mean the man threw pine needles at me when I did my squats. I have now reached the point when he tells me to do something I say "I love you" so I won't hate him.

It works...but maybe I just do love him...'cause I do...'cause he is not only the best personal trainer in the world, he's a great guy to boot.

But poor baby also had to deal with me sitting on the bench (as he was making me do bench squats...don't ask what they are...evil is what they are) and I started to cry. And he tried his best to get me back to working out but I just cried and let some stress out. And he dearly tried to cajole me out of it but I just had to let it out.

Tomorrow he will serve me a double ass kicking for it...and the Belvedere...and he will threaten me with Oprah again...sheesh....

OK, so here is where I get lazy. I'm gonna print some lyrics...because they really describe how I have been feeling for a while now...

I like this song.

It's called "Maybe"...I've added some notes...(my notes in parenthesis)


MAYBE

Maybe I'm a dreamer (yes I am...hello...OPRAH?)
Maybe I'm misunderstood (by my teenage daughter Ke$ha Barbie)
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should (no, but you will)

Maybe I'm crazy (yes...I will say "yes" to that...make it "hell yes"...OPRAH...)
Maybe I'm the only one (no)
Maybe I'm just out of touch (Ke$ha Barbie again...)
Maybe I've just had enough (yes, I had...)

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk away
I've always been scared to try

So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something new
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

(and those two verses are what gave me the courage to get the divorce...seriously...)

Maybe it's hopeless
Maybe I should just give up
What if I can't trust myself
What if I just need some help

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk away
I've always been scared to try

So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something new
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change.

(repeat last 2 verses)

So my darlings...read those words again...especially the chorus. Because it is something we all need...sometimes we just need to change...and leave it all behind.

I decided to change after Precious panicked that I was having a heart attack (I have promised not to call him Precious if I get on Oprah...). Thank goodness I wasn't having a heart attack...but his panic did lead me to decide to change.

And so I have left "fat" all behind...and thank goodness I wasn't afraid to try.

And now I apply that to my life and my divorce. I feel bad walking away but I do want to live a better life. Nothing stays the same. I'm not the same girl that walked down that aisle oh so long ago...and since I have changed I need to make a big change.

I've left a good man behind me...but ahead I see life with a really great person...

Me...

So my "maybe" is now a "yes"...and I did it...

I'm glad I'm not scared to try...and I know that it was time to change.

Inspiration Song: "Maybe" by Sick Puppies...

Bye Darlings....maybe it's time for you to make a change...leave it all behind...don't be scared to try...