Sunday, March 20, 2011

Loser Like Me

I've mentioned my obsession with the show "Glee" before, haven't I?

Glee and True Blood---2 shows that never fail to get my to my happy place, but for very different reasons.

So when Glee did a show with original songs, you know I had to use one for my blog, didn't you?

I think the title is perfect...loser like me...

Except I don't think of myself quite in the same terms of "loser" as the song title implies.

I think of it more like losing weight...

I've shared with you how I do what I I have eaten and exercised my way down.

Today's weight: 169.5

Total weight loss to date: 130.5 pounds

Total time: 55 weeks

Go me!

No pills, no surgery, no reality tv show.

Just me, my Dimples (trainer), my "J-girls" (spin instructors), and a whole lotta salmon and My Fit Foods.

I'm coming down to the finish line.

I see it ahead.

And the scary Vera Wang dress?

Well that is in the very very very near future---Thursday night to be exact.

I reminded Dimples of that last week. So on Friday, he texts me the following:

"Vera is on oprah now"

Lest you worry about my Dimples, no the man is NOT into fashion...nor is he gay. He is very very very straight. But poor baby has heard me say "Vera Wang dress" so many times that when the basketball game he was watching ended and Oprah popped on, and he heard Oprah say "Vera Wang", well, he just had to text me and let me know.

And now he knows who Vera is...

She's my fashion idol...and I plan on rocking that dress on Thursday night.

I'm making Precious serve as my "date".

Not a REAL date, but his job is to make sure I drink enough wine to have fun but not so much that I am hungover the next day while I have to run the feast with Athenagal. My job that night is to make sure Bacchus has enough fun at the party but not too much fun since he also has to run the feast. So we are a team...we are taking care of each other.

I also told Precious he has to say lots and lots and lots of complimentary things to me all night about how I look.

He asked me if I was going to give him a script...

that boy knows me too well...

And yes, I might just give him a script.

I need words like:

I also have warned GOTT that he has to do the same.

So after Thursday, and all this stuff with the dress, how am I going to stay motivated?

Well, here is my plan of attack to keep myself from apathy...

First of all, there is always a possibility that Oprah might call...and she might have Vera make me a dress to show myself never know, miracles can happen!

And then there is summer...because for the first time in a very long time I might actually not feel horrible shame at wearing a bathing suit in public. Now you won't be catching me in a bikini because, after all, I don't look like a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition model, but at least now I won't have to wear a 3X...but I will be able to wear a cute suit.

Another motivation is clothes...I'm really enjoying my old and new wardrobe. I kept some of my old skinny clothes and it is fun to pull them out and try them on and see I can wear them again. And some of them I have decided have seen better days...

and the new stuff? Oh, that is some good fun. Heck I am even having fun buying undergarments! I love having pretty things to put on and wear. I love having cute dresses...and yes, the flippy little skirts...and I love summer and spring clothing.

And the shoes...oh, how I am loving the shoes!!!! I love wearing heels again...stilletos, wedges, high heels, pumps, boots, you name it. I might even spring for a pair of killer designer heels before it is all said and done. Christian Louboutin, anyone?

And then there is the motivation to just achieve the goal I set. To get to the destination. To cross that finish line.

But then comes the really hard part...staying there.

Because it is very easy to slip into old habits.

So I am making a plan of attack.

I know I will weigh myself daily. It's just a habit I am in and it appeals to my OCD to check it. But I will also put great stock into how I look and feel.

I also am planning on some surgery.

You don't go from being super plus-sized to fit and trim without some damage. And I have a lot of damage. Because even though I have done this slowly and correctly, skin is skin...and it won't shrink back...not at my age and not at what I stretched it out to be.

So I have to have a tummy tuck. And while the surgeon is fixing that I'm going to let him work a bit on the...ahem...tatas to make them look less like deflated water balloons.

I hear this surgery hurts like heck.

I think that will be motivation to keep me from undoing the good the plastic surgeon will do.

OK, so I will share another photo with you...this one isn't great but at least I have makeup on and my hair is fixed.


Here goes...

So how can this apply to you, my darling readers?

How can you be a loser like me?

My advice is:
set a goal
set small goals to help you get there
(the above courtesy of Dimples, the best trainer in the world)
reward yourself with things that show off your hard work
be proud of yourself enough to fix damage if you have done it
find things you like and enjoy doing (exercise wise) so you will keep doing them
eat lots and lots of fruits and veggies
do not eat bread, pasta, or potatoes
drink tons of water
cut back on the alcohol
avoid sugar and processed foods
don't eat corn or corn products (again, a Dimples thing)
learn to love fish and salmon
before you "blow it", decide if eating it is really worth the exercise you will have to do to undo the damage...
ask your friends to help and support you
wear something pretty and sexy at least once a week to make you feel good...even if it is just your underwear!
don't kick yourself if you blow it...and don't keep blowing it because you blew it once
get your arse back into the gym if you have been away for more than a few days---only excuse is surgery of some kind!
no one ever lost weight by wishing it have to work at it...period.

Inspiration Song: "Loser Like Me"---Glee original song that is awesome...

Bye a loser like me!

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