Today I taught 8th grade math.
Actually that is an oxymoron.
Saying "I taught" and "math" in the same sentence is the oxymoron.
Because I am a moron about math.
So I didn't really TEACH per se, it was more like high-level babysitting. Because I cannot teach math.
I warned the kids that I was not going to be able to help them with the work the teacher had assigned them to do. I couldn't make heads or tails out of the Algebra.
I also warned them if I even TRIED to help them that they would likely not get into the high school of their choice because I would teach them something wrong and they would mess up on an admissions test.
So I did the next best thing...
I bribed them with candy to behave and do their work.
The candy trick worked...mostly...
But the bigger challenge was sitting next to the candy and not eating it. Especially the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Because I love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
I mean I really really really love me some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
In my fat days I would have eaten half a bag by myself and would have been popping them like chips at a Mexican restaurant.
But I didn't eat one...no, not one...not one little cup.
THAT was a victory...because that was math I could do---too many calories and so not worth it.
Lest you think I am far too virtuous, I will share with you, darlings, that I did indulge in 1/2 of a Crave lemon cupcake.
THAT was worth all the calories and fat...and I am so happy I split it with my girlfriend because had I had a whole one in my hand, well, it would have all been over...and that cupcake would have been gone gone gone.
And yes, I confessed my sin to Dimples...he made fun of me...I told him "too bad...I don't care...it was worth it"...he's gonna punish me good tomorrow.
So back to me...and the teaching math day...
I substitute teach at my son's school. It is an Episcopalian day school that is a K-8. No high school. As my son is in 7th grade, I have one more year of him there and then I won't know what to do with myself because I love that school so much. It is has been a part of my life for 14 years.
Because it is an Episcopalian school, and today was Ash Wednesday, we went to chapel to receive our ashes and have communion.
It takes a while to do that so I had a lot of time sitting in chapel to think about my life, my journey, and to offer prayers of thanksgiving for how my life has changed.
I thanked God for His sacrifices for us all...and for helping me to stay on the path that I am on and to help me continue. And for giving me strength when I felt weak, and for not letting me give up.
I felt very very very blessed sitting in church.
I felt blessed to be in the church.
I felt blessed to be among those children.
I felt blessed to be among the teachers.
I felt blessed to have my son at that school.
I felt blessed to have Father Bob put ashes on me and give me communion.
I felt blessed to see GOTT across the church...because I love him.
I felt blessed to have Dimples in my life.
I felt blessed to have my J-girls in my life.
I felt blessed to have my friends in my life.
I felt blessed to have all those kids who call me "Mama D" in my life.
I felt blessed to be able to do a spin class and kill it.
I felt blessed to be at a weight loss total of 125 pounds.
I felt blessed to know that I can work out like a mad woman.
I felt blessed to be wearing a size "M" skirt and stillettos.
I felt blessed to know that I looked GOOD in said skirt and shoes.
I felt blessed to have you read this blog.
I felt blessed to know that God loves me...
I could add up my blessings---that is math I can do---but it would have taken longer than the service.
Suffice it to say that I feel overly blessed and not deserving of it all.
But God doesn't work that way...he blesses us all.
And I realized...I'm alright...I'm good...things are ok for me...and I am blessed...
My life has changed and continues to change...and I'm going to be alright.
Even if I eat a cupcake.
Inspiration Song: one of my all-time favorites from one of my all-time favorite comedies..."I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins from the Caddyshack soundtrack. I can still see the little gopher dancing...and sometimes I feel like that little gopher.
Bye Darlings...I'm alright...you should be too..count your blessings.