Sunday, August 8, 2010

Goody Two Shoes

I bought new shoes yesterday (Sunday).

I bought new shoes Saturday.

Saturday's purchase was a cute pair of wedge heels in bronze...now that I have dropped some weight I like the wedge heel...makes me taller, makes my legs look slimmer, and most importantly, I can actually walk in them and stand around in them. I can get through a party in wedge heels (I did so on Thursday night).

Yesterday's purchase: new workout shoes

Lovely new turquoise and silver and white shoes. They fit. They have support. That is uber-important...

I walked out of the store in them and headed straight to the gym to workout. They were great.

I figure I had logged about 140-150 hours in the old pair so it was time to retire them to "shoes to wear in the mud" and have a new pair for the gym.

I'm such a girl...I love shoes...I have more shoes than I will ever need but every time I purchase a new pair I am excited. It's a rush...

I don't buy expensive shoes...spending more than $100 on a pair makes me really sweat, but for some reason I can buy 4 pair of $50 shoes and not think twice about it.

Don't get me wrong...I could totally go all "Carrie in Sex in the City" and would build a shrine to my Manolos and Louboutins if I owned them, but I don't. I would really love to own a pair of black Christian Louboutin pumps...stilletos...that fabulous red sole on the bottom...but for me, $500 for a pair of shoes is not something I can do. I don't think I have ever spent more than $200 (it was a pair of boots...very fancy cowboy boots)...so I think I would have a heart attack if I ever shelled out $500 or more for a pair of shoes.

Not judging here if you do spend $$$ on shoes...I just can't bring myself to do it...but I would love to be the kind of woman who COULD do it...

Heck, I wouldn't even shell out $195 for a pair of Tory Burch flats...

Once we had our 8th graders at the school do "Diary of Anne Frank" for one-act play competition. I costumed the show. I asked the girls who played Mrs. Frank and Mrs. Van Daan to bring in some dark colored low-heeled pumps to wear. The girl playing Mrs. Van Daan showed up to rehearsal with some beautiful black pumps. With bright red soles. I know what those soles meant. GOTT and TTG did not.

So GOTT says "the red soles on her shoes are distracting..."

TTG says "I'll ask her if I can use a black magic marker or sharpie to cover it up"

I all but screamed....

Once I caught my breath I told them to let me handle it...

So after rehearsal I ask the young girl wearing the red-soled shoes if they belonged to her mommy. She said that they did but were "old" so she could wear them. I told her that GOTT and TTG wanted to cover up the red soles.

She looked horrified.

I looked horrified at the thought of it back at her...and felt her pain...but then explained that at the very last second possible TTG was going to use a little black tape on the soles and we would take it off right away and the shoes should be none the worse for it.

She agreed...

After she left rehearsal I explained to GOTT and TTG (who both have shoe-loving wives who are practical like me...even though I think any of us would covet those shoes) that the following week, when I was subbing for GOTT, I would not make enough money to purchase those shoes...those beautiful Louboutins...and they were just fine when we took the tape off...and I held them for a second and really wanted to try them on but controlled myself...

I'm cheap with purses too...I see all kinds of Coach handbags that I would love to have...and some Michael Kors ones too...but I get to the $300 price tag and don't feel worth it...

So I have decided that when I get to "move the bar" on the scale again I am going to buy a new purse or a REALLY nice pair of shoes (but not Louboutins...but maybe a pair of Tory Burch flats)...it will be my reward. I don't want to buy clothes now because I am going to "move the bar" 2 more times before I am happy...

My mother had a shoe obsession too...I guess that is where I get it. She wore a 9 1/2 or 10...I cannot wear her shoes...and I so longed to...and I wish I could wear them now just so I could put them on and feel a little "Debbie magic" when I wear them...then I could be, as my sister N and I referred to her as "Fabulous Debbie"...

I have my Daddy's feet...very wide. Daddy wore something really crazy like an 8 1/2 EEE...maybe even a EEEE...very fat feet. He was slightly pigeon-toed from having polio as a child...and funny arches...and his feet weren't just wide ACROSS, they were kind of "tall" if you know what I mean...his feet were short but LARGE.

Daddy very rarely could ever purchase shoes in a store. Most of the time he had to have things custom-made because of how his feet were. All of his boots were made for him. Once we were at a store and he tried on a pair of loafers and they fit. He literally cried. And then he bought every pair they had like them in his size.

Daddy rarely wore shoes...his lived in cowboy boots...but every once in a while he would put on some shoes...

When I got married he went to the tux store to rent the tails I was requiring him and the wedding party to wear. I was getting married at 8:00 PM in an Episcopal Church and I had me a very long train so all the men were going to have to endure white tie and tails. So Daddy, even though he had a perfectly good tux, had to rent the tails. So he and my brothers go to Al's Formal Wear to rent what I had selected. Thank goodness my stepmother was with them or I think mutiny would have happened. Because once he was there, and being fitted for the tails, the salesman asked him what shoes he would be wearing...

Daddy says: "Boots"

Salesman says: "you cannot wear boots with white tie and tails"

Daddy says" "in Texas I can..."

Salesman says:"I have some nice formal shoes we can get you"

Daddy says:"no, I am wearing boots"

Salesman says:"what about your sons?"

Daddy says: "boots"

Salesman says: "I think we need to discuss this with the bride"

Daddy says: "I'll call her" (since this was the dark ages before cell phones he called me at my mother's house)

Daddy calls me and says "tell this man that I am wearing boots to your wedding"

I say "well, hello Daddy! what is going on?"

Daddy says: "I am wearing boots to walk you down the aisle or I will be barefoot...tell the salesman!!!!"

I got on the phone with the salesman and explained that my father and brother would be wearing cowboy boots. Period.

Salesman says: "well, I hope they are at least BLACK boots..."

Daddy walked me down the aisle in a beautiful pair of black eel skin boots...he looked very elegant...so did my brothers in their boots...

Some day I will tell you the story of me and Daddy and my wedding dress and the shop ladies at Neiman's....but today is about shoes, not dresses...

When Daddy died we decided he needed to be buried in his most special boots. My stepmother gave me his elephant hide boots to take to the mortuary. Those boots were made from the hide of an elephant that my father shot in Africa...the elephant was old and sick and needed to be put down so they (the game keepers) allowed my father to shoot it and keep the hide and tusk...this was back in the 60's...rules have changed....but it was not an easy thing for my father to do even though he loved to hunt. He treasured those boots.

So I take the boots to the funeral home and hand them to the funeral director. He asks me what he is supposed to do with the boots. I told him to get them on my father's feet.

He tells me "Anice, I knew your dad and I have seen those feet...I'm not sure I can get them on his fat feet and this is elephant hide..."...

I informed the mortician that I knew he had all kinds of tools back in the area where they prep the bodies and that I didn't care what he had to do to get them on those feet (short of cutting my father's body), but those damn boots better be on this feet when I came back the next day.

The boots were on his feet.

I never asked how...

I don't want to know...

I just know that I buried my Daddy with his boots on...the only proper way for a man such as him to be buried...along with some chile petin's in his pocket...

I buried my mommy in her most beautiful cream suit, her fake hair switch on her head, her favorite lipgloss on her lips, and the pretties pair of pumps she owned...they were Manolos...

I know she was proud of me for making sure I sent her to heaven looking her best...and I didn't think twice that I buried her in some very expensive shoes...because she was, after all---Fabulous Debbie...

I wrote this without shedding a tear...only smiling...I think my parents are proud of me...OK, now I am crying...

Inspiration music: "Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant...so fun...

bye darlings...

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