Hot Child in the City

Today Ke$ha Barbie had her first day as a Junior in high school. I have 2 more years with her and then she is gone gone gone. I feel like it was yesterday when I sent her off for her first day of first grade.

I saw my neighbor today who told me she kissed her son goodbye early this morning and sent him off (with his father) to LSU where he will be a freshman. I remember him in elementary school and now he is gone gone gone.

It is bittersweet..

So I was really happy today that I got to be occupied doing some training at my son's school where I (sometimes) substitute teach and volunteer (a lot). It was CPR/First Aid training followed by substitute teacher training. I sat with GOTT in case I feel asleep because I knew he would let me snooze on his shoulder. I stole his blanket from backstage and wrapped up (the room was FREEZING) and we managed not to be too distruptive to the proceedings. Normally when I watch something with GOTT we are little like the cranky old men in the balcony on "The Muppet Show"...

We behaved...and I didn't fall alseep.

I was worried I would be dead to the world by 10:00 since I woke up at 5:00 and hit the gym by 6:00 and burned through 750 calories on the Arc Trainer in 45 minutes and headed home to take the fastest shower/blow dry/make-up job on record (for me).

People, I don't "do" mornings so going to the gym at 6:00 was HUGE for me...

I was up at the school yesterday to work a bit with GOTT and TTG so I saw a few of my teacher friends and the headmaster. I got a lot of compliments on my weight loss (30 lbs down from the last time most of them saw me...62 total) and it was a great feeling.

So today I got even more compliments and I was in danger of thinking I really must look good...or I looked that awful before...

One friend admitted to me that he almost walked right by me before he realized that it was indeed me standing there. I forgive him for having to do a double-take...and told him to keep the compliments coming...I need lots of positive reinforcement. To borrow a line from "Glee"---"I am Tinkerbell...I need applause to live". And then I told him to get ready to clap a lot because I wasn't done...he promises to do so often...

Another friend (who once was quite overweight himself) didn't say anything until I called him on it by saying "I have been standing in front of you for 5 minutes and you haven't said a word about how I look"...I told him that above all he should understand having lost a great deal of weight himself. He said I looked really good. I forgave him...

My friend, Sistah, who is one of my biggest supporters, spread the word about my loss and several friends approached me by saying "Sistah told us you looked great"...I love my Sistah...

The principal hugged me twice and told me I looked "like a hot chick" (she's been super supportive)...and then she teased me it won't be long before I have to show up in her office in my cheetah print miniskirt...that will take a good bit of courage...

Up until recently, the only way "hot" ever applied to me is the temperature. I'm not "hot" yet, but it was very sweet of her to say so.

And then I have GOTT and TTG who give me lots of love and support and positive affirmation...everytime GOTT calls me "The Shrinking Woman" I give him a hug of thanks...and TTG makes me stay on my program all the time...They are like wonderful brothers to me...

To top it off, while the headmaster was addressing the faculty and substitute teachers she announced that I worked enough at the school to earn a faculty shirt (yea! but I really want a parking spot...)and then proceeded to announce JUST HOW MUCH WEIGHT I HAD LOST...I was a bit embarrassed, especially having it announced that I had lost over 60 pounds since March...that sounds like soooooooo much and I am still not a fit and trim little tiny thing and it is obvious I still have a ways to go. But in any case I love her support and the applause from my teacher friends did feel great.

I did a little curtsy anyway...

So the last couple of days have felt really really good...because I was almost feeling like I was just treading water instead of swimming this big course I set myself. I have a long way to go but it was good to see that through the eyes of others I have come so far...

It made me realize how lucky I am to have friends who love and support me so much...some afraid to even say anything lest they hurt my feelings by saying "wow, you have really lost some weight"...I told one of those friends to NOT be afraid to say anything because I know just how bad off I was. I have worked hard to get where I am today and I appreciate the acknowledgement of it because it hasn't been easy.

Sometimes I wonder if it would have been quicker or easier had I gone the route my doctor suggested and gotten the gastric band. But from what I have read about banding, they have mountains to climb as well and it is no picnie or magic bullet. I applaud anyone who goes that route...it is no qick fix. I just know in my case I had to give willpower and trying to eat "clean" a try. Those who have a band have to limit and change their diet as well, but I wanted to see if I could do it without surgery first. And food is just part of it...whether you are banded or just trying to say "no" to cupcakes, you have to excersise to help it along.

Getting weight off is hard hard hard...no matter how you do it...

And working out is hard hard hard no matter what form of exercise you choose to do.

I am surprised to say that I do enjoy my time at the gym...it is an hour or two that is just for me and I need to take it and do it. I give a lot to others and spend a lot of time taking care of others and helping others...but that time is just for me me me...so I sweat sweat sweat (it actually feels good) and burn burn burn the calories and think about the pretty dresses I want to wear next spring.

I bought some new workout clothes...sort of a reward, sort of incentive...but mostly because I may have to occasionally help GOTT and TTG out in the morning before I workout and don't want to look like a total hot mess of fat chick going to the gym. And it will feel good putting on some new things for the gym that aren't a tent over some big pants.

During the CPR class I told GOTT that my father had to have a defibrillator implanted when he was not even 60 and died having bypass surgery (he knew the bypass part) and it was one of my big motivations for getting in shape. I don't want to be my dad. I want to live past 60. I don't want a difibrillator.

I'm almost halfway to my goal weight. I was feeling like I was looking only "better" not "good" but today made me feel great...and feeling great on the inside, because you know you are loved and cared for as well as being healthier, is so much better than just looking good...

But it doesn't hurt to be called "hot" or "gorgeous" either...

And today, I felt it all...loved, cared for, and....hot...in the BEST sense of the word...

Inspriration music: "Hot Child in the City" by Nick Gilder...come on, when is the last time you played THAT on your iPod?

Bye Darlings...