Teenage Dream

Hello Darlings...

Well I have already failed at my challenge...I was going to write 7 blogs in 7 days and I totally missed it yesterday...I had a busy day and literally no time to sit down and write...and then I met some girls for wine and although I might blog while drinking a glass of wine, one should never blog after a girls night...plus I was tired and sleepy (thank you BeautifulBertha for whipping my booty in class!)

So no blog yesterday

So I am going to amend it to be 7 blogs in 10 days...that way I have a cushion in case I have another busy day...

these blogs don't just write themselves you know...

well, actually they do...

I just sit down and let the fingers fly over the keyboard while my thoughts flow out of me...

not always a good thing or a good blog but it is how the process is...

so staying on my Katy Perry theme today I bring to you...

TEENAGE DREAM

When I was writing my last blog and musing about 80's things I started thinking about my teenage self during those days...

Do you ever wish you could go back in time and sit down with your teenage self and fix a few things?

Nothing life altering...or maybe so...

If I could go back in time I would do the following:

To my 13 year old self I would warn her not to let her mother talk her into any more ugly short haircuts and I would let her know that her parent's divorce was going to be rocky...make that Rocky Mountain mountain range rocky and that none of it was her fault and nothing she did would fix what was wrong...

I would tell my 14 year old self that moving from Kingsville to Houston would be a good thing and not to mourn it so much...and to enjoy Houston more...

To my 15 year old self I would say that moving to Kerrville was a good thing but to be stronger when my stepmother was manipulative and tried to cause trouble between me and my Daddy.  I would also maybe not tell my sister that the bidet in the French hotel room was for washing feet---but who am I kidding that was a damn funny thing that happened (see blog  "La Femme Parallel" for the story). 

To my 16 year old self I would say to learn to drive a stick shift and how to parallel park

To my 17 year old self I would say to enjoy senior year a little more and that no matter how "perfect" you try to be it's never enough when you have someone (stepmother) undermining you...

To my 18 year old self I would say "do not go to the Fiji house and drink 7 shots of tequila followed by beer chasers"...yeah...um...no...and I would also tell her NOT to get a perm...yeah...um...no

To my 19 year old self I would say "this man is not the man you will live with forever but you will get 2 amazing kids out of it so it's worth it...but get out sooner" when I met the man I married...

I had dreams when I was a teenager...we all have the "I'm going to be rich and famous" dreams and the dreams about showing the world we are not who the kids around us have told us we are...

But I also had dreams of having a career...of traveling and being the woman in the smart big-shouldered suit with a briefcase (this was the 80's remember)...going to the desk at the hotel and checking into my fabulous suite having just travelled first class to some great destination where I had a business meeting that would lead to some incredible business venture...basically I wanted to be Alexis Carrington (if you don't know who she is I need to pat you on your darling head and you can use Google to find her).

Instead I finished college and got married and sold real estate until I had Kesha Barbie...no glamorous travel...I went from my college apartment back to my mom's house to married in 4 months in 1986...

at one point during college I had hopes of gong to Washington DC and changing the world...

instead the only thing I really ended up ever changing was diapers....

I didn't have kids right away...we were married for 7 years before we had Kesha Barbie.  I do not regret for one second that I didn't have a glamorous career and had children...I've never felt that for a second...I love my "career" being a mom and I think being called "Mom" by my two kids is the best title I ever got...far superior to CEO (especially given my talents)...

but I do wish I could have told my teenage self that when the time came to get married to worry less in those early days about being Betty Crocker and to give myself a chance to stretch my wings a bit.  I met him when I was 19 and once I determined (wrongly) that we belonged together my entire focus was to be the perfect housewife.

I was far from perfect but I tried...mostly because I was trying to fix something that was broken...he is a wonderful man but we truly were square peg and round hole.

When Kesha Barbie was about 14 years old she said:

"I am a square peg...you keep trying to force me into a round hole by shaving my corners off...please don't do that...please just make that round hole into a square so I can fit"

that was damn smart for a young teenager and damn good advice to parents....

I've now tried to take that better approach to dealing with myself and others....when I find a square peg I find a square peg for them to rest in in my heart...

I have a lot of sweet young friends who are heading off to college in a few weeks---kids I have watched grow up like SuperSarah and Sweet Caroline and kids I have taught when I subbed  and kids I met this year while working at the high school (that would be you my sweet MOD and Morgan LaFab and Katherine the Great and SweetHannah). 

I see so many opportunities ahead for them...I am excited to watch them strike out and stretch and grow and learn...and yes, stumble and make poor choices...and I will miss them a lot...especially SuperSarah...

I tell them all to "make good choices" and I know it sorta goes in one ear and out the other but I hope that somewhere when they are getting ready to do something they maybe shouldn't a little voice says "this is not a good choice".

I know many of them will drink despite not being of legal age...so I give them "Bobby Shelton's rules for how to drink in College":
1) do not drink anything that is blue or purple...if it is colored the color of skittles it is not a good choice...do not drink the rainbow...
2) do not drink anything that is mixed up and served from a trash can...no good can come of it
3) do not take shots.  ever.  and by shots I mean alcohol and not what the doctor gives you.. and whatever you do you do not take 7 shots in a row at the Fiji house...in fact maybe just avoid the Fiji house...
4) beer is safe...you can get plenty drunk on beer but there is less chance of really screwing up on beer...
5) and how about this? Just don't drink! 

Despite my little foray into 7 shots of tequila at the Fiji house I pretty much followed Daddy's rules....the one time I ventured into a purple drink I got soooo sick...

I think one reason I didn't tend to get super drunk and party a lot (the drinking age was younger then) was that I learned that alcohol was best consumed slowly and that a nice glass of wine with dinner was a far better way to consume it than drinking something gross from a trash can.  My parents let me have wine with dinner from age 16 on and it sorta demystified it for me...and I have appreciated wine ever since...and last night at girls night I appreciated a very fine malbec...

I tell my little young friends to try new things at school...not alcohol but things like taking a fun class outside your major (I took "Music appreciation" and "flower arranging" (that one happened to be in my major) and riflery for my PE class...I t)ook them because I enjoyed them...)

I tell them to participate in dorm functions and sorority/fraternity things...to have enjoy campus activities...to go to football games even if they don't like football...to find a mentor among their professors that can help guide them...to make friends with someone older in the community (and by older I mean like their parent or grandparents age) because that person can help you when you are away from home and need a bit of parental guidance---I had that with some of the women who were our advisors for the sorority and one very special accounting teacher who treated me like I was his daughter.

I tell them to make friends with the international students and kids rom other parts of the country...they will learn a lot from those friendships

I tell them to enjoy what their school has to offer and have fun but to remember that their parents have been teenagers once too...so don't think just because you have gone off to school that suddenly you are an adult and can throw out their rules and advice...because they give that advice because they lived it...

And the last thing I tell them is to call their parents...because their parents really really miss them...

I wouldn't change much about my teenage years other than some bad hair decisions...maybe some bad boy decisions...and definitely some poor clothing choices....but all in all I would pretty much do it all again the same way...

minus the perm...

don't get a perm...

Inspiration Song: "Teenage Dream" by my girl Katy...I loved my teenage years and my teenage dreams...and I love watching the young teenagers I love live their dreams...

Bye Darlings...remember your teenage dreams with fondness...and nostalgia...and a little pity for those of us who lived those dreams in the 80's because of the fashion choices...