Dead Man's Party

So last night was GOTT and GOTTESS's annual Halloween Bash...

Mind you this is not a party for the faint of heart or shy...this is a real-live-honest-to-goodness Halloween Bash that those lucky enough to be invited to plan for and go all out for...

GOTT and GOTTESS decorate the house to the nines and pull the furniture out of the den to make room for the DJ and dance floor...complete with flashing lights and black lights, etc.

Choosing a costume for this party is a competitive sport.

One year GOTT and I went as "Lucius Malfoy" and "Bellatrix Lestrange" respectively...and if you don't know who they are---they are Harry Potter characters.  GOTT was perfect (because I helped him with his costume) and I was...well, I wasn't a BAD Bellatrix but I think my friend LovelyLydia got it better.

(BTW LovelyLydia was otherwise occupied this year and therefore I lost my best dance partner...sigh...we always do the Time Warp together and boogie on down to many of the best disco songs...at parties like this it is usually more fun to dance with a girl...)

That was the year I was about midway through my weight loss so between that and spraying my hair black as coal I went unrecognized by many.

I had friends who doubted that my hair would ever return to its golden sheen after that experience but after 5 shampoos all the black came out...just not too much fun to do at 2 in the morning but I wasn't taking chances.

When I showed up for church the next morning with my blonde hair back to it's regular color GOTT breathed a sigh of relief for me...

Last year I joined GOTTESS and our friends Susu and KuteKari and MarvelousMandy and IttyBittyMisty as...showgirls...

I think I blogged about how it is not a good idea to try and bedazzle a corset while swilling wine lest you end up with a costume that looks like a 4th grade macaroni art project...which mine did until Ke$ha Barbie fixed it for me...thank goodness I have an artist in the house...

We put on monster heels, a metric ton of makeup and eyelashes, enough feathers to rob several chickens and ostriches of their feathers, and outrageously tall feathered (and very heavy) headdresses that we rented from the costume shop.

We looked pretty girl...almost like girls in a real Vegas show...or at least some of us did...and some of us (me) came close...

Between the heels and headdresses we all pretty much almost ended up with whiplash as we maneuvered through the house and by midnight our feet and heads were aching.  At one point I abandoned the headdress and heels altogether....you can dance very easily in it nor can you clean up the kitchen after the party like that.

GOTTESS even had a very large bruise on hear head from her headdress which was the heaviest and most complex...

I do not recommend wearing a showgirl costume unless you have:
great neck muscles
a REALLY good body or at least body confidence
the ability to tolerate wearing horrible heels
the grace and carriage of a queen
quick reflexes (to get through doors)

GOTTESS was a Moulin Rouge girl the year before...while I was Bellatrix she was outfitted in hot pants, corset, fishnets and monster heels...

So this year when she suggested our costume I was on board because it meant "no stillettos"...not that I mind wearing them...I love them...they are my shoe and drug of choice...but when you know you are facing 6 or more hours like that...well...notsomuch...

She also liked the "not having to wear high heels" aspect of it...

So what were we?

Well, if you have seen the viral video of the Harvard Baseball team performing and dance and lip synching to "Call me Maybe" then you will get it...if not Google "Harvard Baseball Call me Maybe" and you can understand...

yup...we were the Harvard Baseball team...but a sexified version...

Tight t-shirts, most of us in white tennis skirts, ponytails and pigtails, hats perched perkily on our heads, and...thankyouverymuch---athletic shoes.

I had toyed with getting a pair of those wedge heeled sneakers but then I realized I was not a:
hooker
stripper
silly teenage girl

So I would likely never wear them again so why buy them?

Yes, me and my Asics were quite happy all night long.

GOTTESS and I kept saying "I love the tennis shoes" all night long.

I helped GOTTESS set up for the party...it is part of my duty as sister wife...because poor GOTT had managed to get himself overscheduled with doing radio announcing for a football game (the night before the party) and then the night of the party he had a matinee and evening performance of a play he directed.

So he was out...

Tag to the second wife...I was in...

So I helped GOTTESS with some of the chores he usually does to prep for the party.  I never mind helping her because she is one of my dearest friends and I know she would do the same for me in a heartbeat...plus it meant that I got to spend time with her and got to hear all about the night she spent in Bangkok on her last business trip.  I can't tell you what she and the group she was with did but suffice it to say she had a glorious "One Night in Bangkok" (a song from the musical "Chess"...) the night before she returned home from her 2 week business trip there.  I laughed so hard about her story that I almost cried...

So even thought it was work, it was painless work...

The only thing I feel bad about is that I didn't get to go and see GOTT's show...I almost never miss a show he directs or is in but as sister wife my first duty was to help her.

We got the house set up and decorated perfectly and even had time for a drink before all the guests arrived.

All sorts of costumed characters show up at this party...in the past there has been things like:
Underage Chinese Gymnast (the year of the Bejiing Olympics...that was Susu)
Oscar the Grouch
The BP clean-up crew (they were good)
Navy Seals
The Village People (they won last year...they cheated...they danced...we should have danced but the headdresses were impossible)
Characters from Mad Men
Katy Perry

This year we looked great as the Harvard Baseball team...and we even did the dance but we were outdone...by most of the husbands of the girls in our group...

not me!  nooooooo husband!

Although I would like to lay claim to my friend Sir Todd (called that by me in this blog because he always gallantly rescues me by entertaining me at parties or helping me find a cab stand).

Trouble is....he is gay...

And no it's not the gay part that is trouble for me...I love my my gays...it's just that I don't think he wants to marry ME...but I think he might go for being my "gay husband" at parties and keeping me company...

and he makes the most EVIL delicious corn dip ever...I call it "corn crack"...

He was "Dopey" and walked around the party in his Dwarf costume with a giant "joint" tucked behind his ear.

No you might be asking yourself at this point if these men were really dwarves or regular sized fellas...and yes, they are all "regular" sized not "fun sized" but there is a reason it worked...

Because Snow White...

was a 6ft. 8 inch British man

and yes, his wife is just about my size...a bit taller but quite petite next to him nonetheless...

everyone is petite next to him...

And he looked amazing...and if I only had his permission I would post his picture here...but I don't post photos of anyone on this blog without their permission and I forgot to ask...

There was no way we were going to win...even with sexy costumes and cute dancing...when you have a giant Snow White in your midst...

Two other costumes really caught my eye...one was "Effie" from "The Hunger Games" (and she looked pretty darn good)

the other...

"Dick in a box"

you know...from the Saturday Night Live video sketch with Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake?

If you don't know it...youtube it...hilarious...

it even won an Emmy...not kidding...

One gal came as "Honey Boo Boo" complete with her parents "June" and "Sugar Bear"...they looked pretty darn good too...

So it was a great party even if we lost to Mr. Ginourmous in his princess costume...heck I ALMOST voted for him myself...but I had to stay true to my "team'...

It was a good/evil night for me as well...I did good on the alcohol (as I had to drive home) so I limited myself to just a couple of glasses of the vodka punch (and no wine) and like Cinderella I cut myself off at midnight and drank water and Fresca for the rest of the night.

The evil I did was with the corn dip crack and my own very excellent queso...recipe at the bottom...it is KILLER QUESO and I make GOTT a vat of it any time he wants it.  It is always one of his Christmas presents...a vat of KILLER QUESO

It was also great to not have my feet hurting at the end of the night and to not need to shower out black hairspray from my hair.

I helped with the cleanup and got home at...3 am...my usual time...

We are toying with costume ideas for next year...

"Already?" you might ask...

uh yeah...it is a competitive sport!

I'm in for whatever doesn't make me wear a head dress, killer heels, or anything that pales in comparison to an oversized Disney Princess...

Here's how you make my KILLER QUESO...I shouldn't give away my trade secrets and this is definitely NOT healthy but I like to share...

KILLER QUESO:

meat:
brown ground beef and drain...add in a package of taco seasoning and cook according to directions (no magic there...).  I usually do a pound of ground beef or turkey and because I want the flavor strong, I use 1 1/2 packages of the taco seasoning.  SAVE the 1/2 of the remaining seasoning!!!!! You will put it in the queso


Now in a crock pot you put:
One oversized (the 28 ounce size) can of Regular ROTEL, do not drain
1 10 ounce can of Lime and Cilantro Rotel, do not drain
2 large bricks (is it a pound?) of Velveeta, cubed
1/4 cup half and half (and have a bit more on hand if you need it)

Now turn on your crock pot and stir every once in a while to get it to start blending as the cheese melts. When it is mostly melted stir in the remaining 1/2 package of the taco seasoning.

add in the meat...

voila...incredible queso...

its the addition of the half and half that smoothes it out and the taco seasoning gives it a bit more kick and flavor...

It makes a really good enchilada casserole too...but do it the easy way and just layer it with corn tortillas...or use it to top rolled up beef or cheese enchiladas instead of enchilada sauce...if you do that soften the tortillas in a bit of broth first...

OK, next time I promise a healthy recipe...

Inspiration Song: "Dead Man's Party" by Oingo Boingo...fun fun fun!

Bye Darlings...have fun trick or treating...and stealing candy from your kid's treat sacks...for me it's all about the Reese's peanut butter cups and Reese's Pieces....I always stole those from my kids...thankfully Ke$ha Barbie hates peanut butter so she handed hers over...