Sunday, September 4, 2011

Irresistible Force

Another paradox for you...

What happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object?

Sometimes I feel like I am both sides of that paradox...

Dimples will often tell you that I am an unmovable object...heck we argued our way through our last workout because I kept saying "no" to him...and I am usually so compliant...

but that day I was not moving....much...

he wanted me to do this lifting machine thing...I did it but complained my way through it.

I think he often feels like I have been put on this earth to put him through hell.

ha!

I am a very stubborn woman.

Hence...the immovable object.

If I don't wanna do it...I don't....most of the time.

I remember times that I was sent to my room as punishment when I was a child. My father would come to my room to "release" me...but I would stubbornly stay in there just to make sure he didn't get the satisfaction of me gaining my freedom because of him. I left when I was good and ready and it was MY idea to leave my room.

Sometimes that was one hour or more...sometimes it was one minute.

He used to call me "mule"...for good reason.

I may be blonde...but I am a hard-headed blonde.

I think my father must have thought I was put on earth to give him hell.

Ke$ha Barbie is a lot like me....we both fight to have the last word in an argument. It's often not very pretty. No one wins...we just end up frustrating each other.

So these days I try to be the grownup and I let her have the last word because I know she won't stop until she does...

But under my breath I say what I want...and I get the last word in my head.

I'm sure she thinks I was put on this earth to give her hell...what teenage girl doesn't?

And yes, there are times I think God gave her to me on this earth to give me hell...because she does...

I'm sure my ex feels the same...about me...because I would often do things to push his buttons just because I wasn't going to give in...

hence...a divorce...

I'm sure any man who decides he is brave enough to take up with me will get the same treatment and refer to me as "Valdemort" or "the witch I am dating"...both will apply...

I DO have witch powers you know...just ask the coaches at school...and GOTT...

Now as to the unstoppable force part of the paradox...

Well, if you are my friend or a reader of this blog you know that when I put my mind to something I pretty much do it.

You don't lose 138 pounds in 15 months (without drugs or surgery) without being pretty determined.

When I see something I want I pretty much go after it.

Be it my desire to lose weight, an object on eBay, or the new dress I ordered from Macy's that is from the new collection Karl Lagerfeld did for them (have you seen those clothes? OMG!)

But I'm not just an unstoppable object...I have many irresistible forces in my life:

shoes

Michael Kors shoes

cheese

wine (mostly red...and if it is "Rapture" then make it 2...)

my children's smiles

makeup

Sephora

pink or red lipstick

glitter

sequins

wine

wine

wine

cheese

a very rare filet

coaches (I am always taking care of coaches...)

GOTT

children on stage

Stoli Vodka

wine

wine

wine

dark chocolate

shoes

cheese

a kid calling saying "Mama D can you help me?"

my children

wine

Stoli Vodka

my children

wine

cheese

shoes

my children

yea...that is pretty much my list of "Kryptonite to Anice"...there are a few more things but I think I will keep them private...for now...

You all know I love me some shoes...especially Michael Kors heels...that's a given...never met a pair I didn't like...

As for the wine...well, that is pretty well documented as well. Right now my obsession is "Rapture" by Michael David...too divine for words...I bought a case...not kidding...

And cheese...truly an irresistible force for me. The other night at "Meet the Coaches" night there was a cheese tray. I resisted it until Coach...oh, let's call him "Coach Smiles" cause he has a nice smile and makes me laugh...I was good until Coach Smiles says "try this one"...well, my friend who was standing nearby said "Uh Oh" and it was all over...yes, my hand reached out and once that smoked gouda hit my mouth...Uh Oh...

I ate so much cheese that night it was basically my dinner.

The rest of the list is pretty self-explanatory.

And my children...well, they are the most irresistible force of all...

By the way, irresistible is a very hard word to type....just sayin'

But I look at it this way...a little of something bad for you isn't always bad. After all, that is how the theory of allergy shots works...So I just keep my kryptonite to small doses...

But when cheese meets stubborn woman...Dimmples has hell on earth!!!!!

Inspiration Song: "Irresistible Force" by Jane's Addiction...very cool song...watch for it cropping up on all kinds of tv commercials...

Bye Darlings...give in to your kryptonite...your irresistible force...sometimes you just have to. I've given into mine...I just make sure I don't take in too much of the kryptonite...or I really will be an immovable object!

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