Sunday, January 30, 2011

Point of No Return

so....

Today I jumped on the scale and it did another dip...took me into a new weight "class"...I'm in the 180's...thankyouverymuch, Dimples...

When I saw the number...

after jumping around a good bit and jumping back on it to check and make sure that after the 2 glasses of wine I had last night that I wasn't hallucinating...

I thought...

"I never want to see 190 again!"

There is no reason for me to see 190 again...none whatsoever...

Last night we had dinner at George's Pastaria.

Would you think us odd if I tell you we did so on Friday night as well?

Well, we did...

because I can't get enough of their rainbow trout prepared "body builder" style (with veggies...no sauce...just broth) and the wine that ReRe (George's wife) pours me...last night I mixed it up and had a glass of red AND white...

So we get home and I'm feeling happy since it is "wine night" and I go into my closet and spy a skirt that looks like it MIGHT fit.

The last time I wore that skirt (that I can remember) was to the opening game in Reliant Stadium in 2002.

That particular day I had challenged myself with a 3 hour...yes, 3 hour...spin class.

The class was hell but exhilarating...and I cried when I finished it. I sat on my bike and cried and cried...several of us did...

And then I realized it was nothing compared to riding the MS 150 but for me that day it was a personal victory...just like yesterday and the 75 minutes was...

So that particular day in 2002 I did the class and then went to the football game. I put on the denim skirt and a red top..trying my best to wear "Texans" colors.

My friend Danalicious ('cause she's fabulous and gorgeous) was sitting behind me with her sister Stacybaby (also fabulous and gorgeous).

I feel a tap on my shoulder.

They are cracking up.

I had fallen asleep.

Yes, I fell asleep in Reliant Stadium with a crowd roaring and I was sitting in my seat exhausted and snoring...

EMBARRASING!

So there the skirt is...and I grab it and try it on and...

IT FIT!

I am so wearing that skirt to a party Friday night where the dress is listed as "denim"...

I'm GOTT's other date to the party so I told him to tell GOTTESS we should coordinate and wear demin skirts and boots...I'll let her pick the color of top...we can march into the party like the cast of "Big Love"...I am, after all, his other wife...

(not really...but we refer to me as such...)

I got so excited that I could get the skirt on that I tried on other things and found that I have a new wardrobe to choose from.

I even fit into one of my cheetah print skirts....not that it needs to see the light of day again.

But it is nice to know that it fits.

I tried on one of my "goal" dresses.

It was my mothers.

Black.

Gucci.

Fitted knit.

To quote a line from "The Devil Wears Prada"....with a little fishing line and some crisco it could work...

Well, maybe not fishing line and crisco, but it did go on and with some spanx it could see the light of day...or candlelight...

By spring it should be something that I can slide into...but I think because it is knit that the spanx will be required no matter what...

And when I put the skirts and dress on I realized that I didn't want to grow out of them at all.

Like my weight this morning, I am at a point of no return.

I don't want to go back here...I want to go down from here and never see these numbers on the scale again.

And I totally give all of you permission to yell at me if I start to put it back on. I've done this too many times...I can't do it again!

I don't want to be destined to be a fat woman who is occasionally thin.

I want to be at a healthy weight and stay there. It will take work and committment from me but if I can lose what I have so far just since March (about 110 lbs), then I can do what I have to do to keep it off.

Last time I did this I let myself get the best of me. I let myself get lazy and some of the weight crept back on before my mother died. And then she died and I gave up completely.

I can't do that again...I can't return to where I am...or where I have been.

Again and again I have people tell me that I am inspiring to them...

I'm not.

I'm really not...

If anything people should look at me and think "thank God she got her butt in gear" because of how I used to be.

As I have said before, inspiration comes from someone doing something truly inspiring. I'm just doing what anyone and everyone needs to do to stay fit and healthy.

I eat healthy food in the proper porportions.

I eat 3 small, sensible meals a day and 2 snacks.

I have the bulk of my diet as fruits and vegetables and lean protein.

I exercise 6-7 days a week.

I mix it up with cardio and strength training and when I am with Dimples, I get both...

That's really how anyone should live...eat sensibly and exercise.

Simple.

Not inspiring.

Just living.

Easy.

And now that I realize that I am really at a point of no return, I don't plan to be here again...

Inspiration Song: once again provided by my wonderful friend and support team cheerleader---JayVee. I got a double dose of her spin class this weekend (happy place!) and she played this both times (cause I love it)..."Point of No Return" by Kansas. Love it...

Bye Darlings...find your point of no return...

1 comment:

  1. Everytime I read your blog, Anice, I can vividly see everything. You describle in such great detail. This should be a book and you could be a motivational speaker...helping others that are just trying to do what you have done and are accomplishing. You are an inspiration. It's not easy to go and workout everyday, especially when one finds it too easy to make excuses but....YOU ARE DOING IT! And I know you will never see 190 again....and in about a month....you'll never see 180 again.
    Thank you for reminding me about George's Pastaria. I used to go there and have the bodybuilder special when I was competing in fitness shows. Isn't it funny? I used to compete and work out like a fiend and eat perfectly and now, I've slacked off and you are motivating me! You are 1 in a million, girl. We're all rooting for you!!!! Love you so much!
    Renee~~~S.

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