Jane

You know I don't use real names on my blog...but this time I have permission...

Because this blog is about and inspired by my favorite woman in the world---my aunt Jane. Today is her birthday. It is ironic that the song "Jane" popped up today during iPod roulette...

I'm really lucky...my mother was the oldest of 6 children and she had me at a fairly young age (she was 20 when I was born) so my aunts and uncles on her side of the family are pretty young. Jane is only 10 years older than me. My other aunt, Karate Mama, is only 4 years older than me (I'll call her that since she is a fabulous mom and is a karate #th (don't remember the number) degree black belt). So I have cool, young aunts and uncles...not old people I visit at the nursing home.

So today Jane turned...well, you don't need the number, do you? Nah...and it is just a number...she's way cooooooooooler and younger than that number would lead you to believe...plus it lets you know how old I am since I am pretty sure you can all do math (Jane is 10 years older than Anice...now you know...). So it's her birthday today...that's the important thing.

I had dinner with her and some of her friends...my poor uncle was the only man there...I think he was overwhelmed by the estrogen in the room so he and my aunt left early. We had a great time drinking wine, eating a yummy dinner that Jane's friend Cute and Tiny made (CAT---because she is cute and tiny...although she is a "dog person"...but I'm gonna call her CAT). Did you know that turkey meatload might just be better than the stuff made with beef? This was....

So CAT cooked dinner and my uncle and Tia (his wife, my aunt)and Jane, and GiGi (my grandma) and I and Darling Friends 1-4 (I told them I wasn't using names) had a great time. I made the salad...and brought the wine...

Darling friends 1-4 are a little like Thing 1 and Thing 2 (but more fun...and nicer...and cleaner)...I promised no names so they just get a number...but they might all earn silly names because I had a blast with them and need to hang with them more often. I even invited myself to a party or two...

Sometimes you just need to hang with the girls...and drink some wine...and drink some more wine...

Girls, when is the next party? Call me...Jane has my number...call me...

Jane has been one of the greatest influences in my life. She is my keel...she keeps me sailing straight and even. She is...AMAZING...

Anyone who knows her is blessed to be her friend.

And she is fun...and lots of fun.

When I was younger and she was a teenager I thought she was the most beautiful person in the world...and she still is. I used to love when she would come to Kingsville to visit...I would sneak into her room and try not to wake her up....well, I wasn't trying hard...my sisters and I would be "quiet" but really make some noise so we would accidently disturb her. I didn't understand that teenaagers needed a lot of sleep at that time...I get that now...I was a teenager once...but then I hadn't been a teen yet...

She was a counselor at camp and was overwhelmingly popular...for good reason...because she is AWESOME...

She took me to my first "R" rated movie...and let me try alcoholic drinks...and I could smoke around her (when I smoked) and she didn't judge...and sometimes bummed a cigarette.

She took me to the beach...many times. But one time in particular she took me, and V (I think...V was it you?) and another friend and her boyfriend. We went to Galveston. We all looked pretty cute in our bikinis. And the guys on the beach looked pretty great. But none of them were paying attention to us. But they did seem to be interested in Jane's boyfriend. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....yes, we managed to go to the gay beach without knowing it. At least the guys were as hot as the sand...

She would endlessly entertain my siblings and me when we were younger. We could spend hours hearing stories about her sorority and college friends. She would teach us funny songs and do silly skits for us. She still does...

Who else would have a car with dent in the front and call it "Hairlip"?

She was also a shoulder to cry on when my mom and I weren't getting along and she has always been a stable force in my life, even when my parents....weren't...

Once she decided to fix her nose...she wanted the bump smoothed out and her septum to be fixed. We have a great family friend who is an ENT/plastic surgeon so he did the surgery. He lives in Florida so Jane went to Florida to have it done and stayed with him and his wife as he recovered. As he tells it, he gave her a fabulous new nose. Perfect, pert and straight. She was healing well. So he (Doc) comes home from playing golf and a little horseplay happens in the kitchen with him, his wife and Jane when he demonstrated something with his golf club.

You know where this is going, right?

Yes, there was an unfortunate accident in their lovely Florida kitchen and Jane's nose bore the brunt of it all...

I think she is still a gorgeous creature...and her nose is perfect...even if Doc couldn't fix it after he re-broke it with a golf club and swing....

If I ever have plastic surgery I plan to recover at one of those post-surgery spa places. Pampering and drugs...and no doctors that horse around in the kitchen with a golf club.

Sometimes when my mom was away on a trip and Jane would take care of us we would make crazy ice cream and alcohol drinks (I was a senior in high school). Kahlua and vanilla ice cream is yummy. Same can be said for Ameretto and ice cream. But not when you mix about 5 kinds of liqueur and ice cream. And forget to put the lid on the blender...

Jane even saved my life once. We were in Hawaii...she was about 16 maybe...and so I was 6...we were at the beach (we like the beach) and I was standing in the water and she was on shore with my sisters...and a big wave came and got me. She said it was like a hand that came and grabbed me. I was there and then I wasn't. Finally I guess I managed to stick my hand out and she grabbed it and pulled me out of the water and back to safety.

I stick my hand out a lot and she grabs it and pulls me to safety...

I love you Jane...you are the greatest human I know...

If you are lucky enough to know her, send her a belated birthday message and tell her you read this.

If you have a Jane in your life, let her know you love her...

"Jane" by Jefferson Starship (that was once called "Jefferson Airplane"...I still don't get that...)

bye darlings...