Train in Vain

I'm off the soapbox...for now...but I'm not making any promises about the future...

So first I have to say that I am very appreciative about the support I received about my last blog---Freedom 90. I only received one note that voiced a dissenting opinion, but it came from a place of love and respect so despite my friend's views being different than my own, I am very happy she took the time to write me and express her point of view and beliefs. It took courage on her part to do so and I am happy she felt moved to do so. I am not going to turn this blog into some sort of lightning rod of controversy, but I am happy someone is reading this and it is moving people (in their minds, off the couch...whatever) and although I will stick to "my blog...my opinion" on this, I do not mind if you ever want to write me that you disagree with something I said...I may not change my mind, but you are welcome to tell me you feel differently. And if any of you decided to keep your dissenting view to yourself, and I am sure that there are a few of you (maybe more than a few), please know that just as I write this and invite you to read it, I will read what you write/say to me and respect that everyone has a right to their view and opinion.

As for those of you who were supportive...thank you...

Because after I hit the button "publish post" I had a little panic attack...so it was nice to know that there was support out there. Gay rights is not my struggle or cause...I just happen to have gay/lesbian friends who I love and support and felt moved, after watching an old friend on a CNN report yesterday (so proud of you TW!), to say how I felt. And for me, it is a lesson in not labeling...because we all do it and I am as guilty as anyone. As I said, labels belong in clothing, not on people. I pray that the first thing someone says to describe me is NOT "fat"...and I don't want to label my friend and his husband as "gay parents" but rather PARENTS because that is the important part...they are PARENTS...that is their label....I think they would approve...at least I hope they do.

I have all kinds of friends and people I love...some might get labeled as "gay" or "straight", "blonde", "Jewish", "African-American", "smart", "annoying"...whatever...I'm just happy I have friends whoever and WHATEVER you are and that you take the time to read what I have written. And I want everyone to love and respect everyone else. Now do I sound like a Miss American contestant or what? But I mean it...

My blog...my opinion...but I welcome yours as well...

So.....moving on.........

Wait, I want to get back up on the soapbox...

Earlier today I texted my friend TTG (ya'll know who he is, right?) and asked if he had gotten to his destination yet. He left yesterday to drive to an out-of-state wedding with his family. He planned to get to Alabama last night (he did) and then to his destination today. So I texted him, full well knowing he couldn't have gotten there yet. But I wanted to check on their progress and to let him know I was praying for their safety and that I love them. I love TTG and his family...a lot...

So I text him and he texts back. I say something else. He responds. So that was when I blasted him and asked if his wife was driving or if she was doing the text responses for him.

The next text I got was from her...she thanked me for calling him on it and nailing him. He was trying to text while driving. My texts are so not worth it. She took the iPhone away and they were safe and she loves me for it...and I love her for taking the phone and I love him for letting me nail him on this. NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING PLEASE!

My husband does it. And he reads emails. I almost jumped out of the car at a stop sign the other day when he did it. If he wants to do it on his own, it is still an incredible danger but I have told him that if he ever does it again with one or both of our children in the car that I have put a divorce attorney's number on speed dial and I am not afraid to use it.

NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO EMAILING EITHER!!!!!!

OK, now I promise to get off the soapbox...I just had to bust TTG one more time...because I love him and his family...

and I have been guilty of it too...but I am trying to stop...especially on the INTERSTATE HIGHWAY (which I don't do)...but I have texted while driving down Piney Point...but not anymore...

(climbing down from soapbox)...

So let me get back to what you usually come here for...Tales of the Fat Going Fit...

I didn't get to move the bar again today...in fact, I'm not sure I have lost ANYTHING this week...and I have been ultra-good. Like "Biggest Loser" good. 1000 calories burned at the gym each day. Kept my calorie intake right around 1200-1500 per day. Stayed busy each day so I wasn't a couch potato. Got pretty good sleep. Not too much wine (Bacchus is on vacation so I haven't had him making yummy suggestions to lead me astray). Cardio every day...every day! Weight training twice this week.

Nothing

Nada

I. Am. Frustrated.

I know that all of this training and cardio is not in vain. My heart is getting stronger. I am getting more fit. I am building muscle. I am losing fat...I think...

I know that muscle weighs more than fat so maybe that is what is going on...but really, I just want to see the scale move. I want to move the big bar and then start watching the little one wiggle on down to the left side of the scale again.

I can see it a bit on my body.

I don't look "good" but I will concede to "better"...

Today I had Fitness Goddess work me out today...but really what I had her do was to follow me to make sure I was doing it right...setting the machines right, moving the stuff right.

She is so great...she is wonderful...I highly recommend her if you belong to the HRC. Email me if you want her name and number...

I try not to beat myself up to much about this process. I got myself into this and I can get myself out. And I'm going to do it without pills...without surgery...and I'm going to do it for keeps. (Did I mention that I costumed "Seussical" for summer drama camp? I think a bit of it rubbed off as that sounded a little like Seuss there for a moment...)

I've told you I have been up and down before. I blame a lot of this last big weight gain on my mother's death...but it is really more laziness and the fact that I just plain like food and I like to eat. And I prefer cheese and cheesecake to carrots and celery. After a point, when I had gained back a lot of the weight I lost last time, I just gave up. I got bigger so it became a "what is one more pound" type of situation. I can't let that happen again.

The skinny chick inside me is really tired of hibernating. She wants to shop. She wants to wear flippy skirts. She wants to wear heels. She wants to wear a slinky dress to the Medieval Feast pre-party and a gorgeous gown to the feast---a gown with a corset showing off her tiny waist.

Now I am just whining again...sorry...

Tomorrow I am headed to Rockport for a few days of sun and fishing. I'll be home for a few days and then I get to pick up The Cutest Boy in the World from camp. You might not hear much from me over the next few days...writing a blog on an iPhone isn't exactly practical.

Whenever I pick my kids up at camp I am reminded of my own camp days. I had so much fun during the 5 years I went to camp. I had GREAT cabin friends. We had awesome counselors (my aunt was the best). Friday Mountain Girls Camp was a wonderful place to spend time in the summer.

We didn't have air conditioning but we didn't need it---we had giant box fans to blow the hot air over us to cool us off. And we had "Lake Dookie" every night...you see, the showers would leak like nobody's business so the water would creep out of the shower/toilet rooms and leak into the middle area of the cabin where the sinks were. We called it "Lake Dookie". It was clean shower water but still gross...

One year everyone...and I mean EVERYONE...came down with diarhea...it swept through the camp. We did skits about it and sang songs about it. One enterprising camper wrote a story about it...on toilet paper...while she was held hostage in the nurse's cabin.

We found ticks in the darndest places. 'Nuff said about that...

All the cabins had big front porches with a bench swing on them. The swing hung from the porch ceiling with some "s" hooks. One time a couple of girls got to swinging on the swing that they swung so hard that the swing came off the hooks and landed them flat on the porch floor. I think they pee'd themselves. We pee'd ourselves laughing about it. They were lucky their feet weren't below them and nothing was broken. I still laugh about that to this day...

I can't count the number of retainers that got thrown into the fire at "hunters stew". One brave counselor fished mine out before it melted. I couldn't really appreciate just what that meant until Ke$ha Barbie lost both of her retainers at a restaurant. An Ethiopian restaurant. You haven't lived until you have dug through the garbage of a restaurant...especially an Ethiopian one...

I would give up my calories for an entire week for a serving of brownie pudding...it was THAT good...I'd eat nothing but carrots...and then a pan of the stuff.

I think one of my favorite camp memories isn't exactly a camp memory. My father divorced my mother and married someone else when I was in middle school. They went on to have my 2 sisters and my brother (I hate the term half-brother and half-sister...last time I checked they were whole people...and still my brother and sister even if we had different moms). Anyway, my younger sister, SSS, was always a bit confused with the issue of MY mother. She wasn't HER mother or her step-mother, she was MY mother and my sisters and other brother's mother. We called my mom "Mom" and my stepmother by her first name. So here we are at camp pick-up time and my dad and step-mom AND my mother and her boyfriend of the moment are there. And so is my little sister SSS who is about 2 or 3 at the time. She knew who my mother was. So she sees my mother and rather than saying "Debbie", she runs across the camp field with her arms outstretched yelling "MOM" to my mother. She was so excited to see my mother...I don't know why but that amused the hell out of me...

Where am I going with all of this....summer memories...I guess nowhere but it is those happy thoughts that occupy my mind these days while I am slogging it off on the machine.

I'm going to get off my plateau...I know I will...I won't train in vain...and I'm going to catch some fish (and some rays) in Rockport and not get back on the scale until I get home and see if maybe taking a break from heavy training shocks my system back into doing what I want it to.

And I'm not going to text or email while driving tomorrow...

And I'm going to find a swing and swing so hard that I (almost) pee myself...I don't really want to pee myself...just get close...

Find a swing and go for it...

Inspiration song: "Train in Vain" by the Clash...one of the coolest bands ever...

Bye Darlings!