Hello Darlings...
It's been a while...a later blog will explain just what I have been up to...but for today I invite you to celebrate an "anniversary" of sorts with me...
because you see---
4 years ago today I left my husband of 24.5 years...yes, we were just half a year away from that magic silver anniversary and I decided that silver wasn't a color I needed to be celebrating...
I didn't actual "leave" him that day...the truth was I told him to leave...
basically I went into his study and told him I wasn't happy and I knew he surely wasn't happy and that I wanted a divorce...
and that I had wanted it for some time but could not go one day more...
he wasn't happy but accepted it...
the kids weren't happy but accepted it...
I would rather have a good divorce than a bad marriage and I had a bad marriage...
I didn't want my kids to think that what I had with their dad was what a good marriage was...and I didn't want them to think it was what they should settle for...or expect in marriage...
There was no abuse but there was a lot of arguing...
We were two people who no longer took pleasure in each other's company and the only thing we had in common was our two amazing children.
I tried to leave before but The Cutest Boy in the World was so young and I thought I owed it to the man I married and my kids to give therapy a chance and to work on it...
It didn't work
Sometimes you can fix broken things but sometimes you have to accept something is broken and let it go and throw it away...
I didn't throw my marriage away...
I just let it go...
I don't regret marrying him...I got two amazing kids out of it...
But I don't believe I truly loved him the way I should have loved the man I pledged my life to...
My clarifying moment was at GOTT's parent's 50th anniversary party...
My gift to them was to take photos of the event.
I looked through the lens of my camera and I saw GOTTMOM looking at GOTTDAD with so much love in her eyes that it was a gut punch...
it took my breath away...
it made me cry...
because I realized that she was looking at him with so much love even after 50 years and that I had never ever once really felt like that toward the ex...
not once...
I had to go and sit down quietly for a moment...
Then GOTT and his brother and sisters and their spouses all got together for a photo and when I saw the love there I knew I had to do something...
I had been around GOTT and GOTTESS enough to be envious of the love they shared...as well as other friends...like KuteKaren and RoyBoy and CabRene and BoyGeorge and JayVee and The Hunk...
So the next day I told GOTT what I planned to do...that I needed to leave...
and even though at first his thought was "no!" he quickly realized it was what was best for me and my family and he loved me enough to say:
"I will support you"
because that is the kind of man he is...and that is why I love him as much as a woman can love a man who is not her son, husband, or father...I love him more than I love my brothers because he is truly the best male friend I could be gifted with...
he is totally my rock...and I thank God every day for his presence (and GOTTESS's) in my life and for keeping me off the quicksand...
I have never regretted my decision to end my marriage...the only regret I had was that I didn't do it sooner...
I hate that my children have had to divide time but they assure me it's ok and they are happier because we are happier.
We will always be a family...just not a married family...
My ex has a steady girlfriend he cares a lot about...my kids have met her and tell me she is very nice...
I have no idea how serious it is and probably won't know until he puts a ring on someone's finger because although we get along great and we talk almost daily about kid concerns we know almost nothing about each other's personal life...
if I had a personal life...
Like he wasn't going to bother to tell me he was going to leave the country on his vacation
He just told me he would be gone a week...but he didn't think it was important to mention he would be a few time zones away...
and then told me he didn't see how it was my business...
well the very day I asked him if he was leaving the country was the day after a friend of mine lost her precious child in a terrible accident...so I reminded him that maybe, just maybe it might be good for me to know he might be hard to reach in case something happened to TCBITW while he was gone or maybe he would be too wrapped up in romance to care if his son was in a wreck or ill...
he finally understood at that point...
I told him I didn't care if he went to the moon or Spain...I just needed to know that it might be a little more difficult to reach him than it would be if he was in say---Dallas.
I don't care what he does with her and I still don't care where they went but for a smart man he was pretty dumb not realizing that maybe he should have at least mentioned a 5 hour time difference in case of emergency.
It is those sort of things that make me glad I do not have to deal with him anymore except when it comes to the kids...
He's a good dad...
and maybe to someone else he will be a good husband...
but for me it was very much a square peg and a round hole trying to mesh...
I was only 46 at the time and I knew I was far too young to spend the rest of my life miserable and living with someone I was not in love with...someone I felt no passion for...someone who when I came home and saw he was home only made me think "damn he's home" and not "yay! he's home!".
The day he moved out and into his own apartment I came home and opened a bottle of champagne and moved my stuff into his side of the closet...
I drank champagne from my crystal (which was not wedding crystal but actually crystal I bought for myself with money from selling my steer my senior year---yes I am weird like that...I bought crystal when I was 17) and I smiled at the fact that the closet was mine and the house was mine and I was truly on my own...
it didn't scare me
it excited me
and so here I am 4 years later still very happy with that decision, not the least bit sad about it and the only jealousy I feel about him is not toward his girlfriend but just the damn fact he HAS a girlfriend and I am alone...
4 years later I have my own house (all mine! and has been for exactly one year tomorrow) and I share custody of TCBITW with my ex and I have 3 cats and a job a\I love and lovely friends and a wonderful place to work out and a great life...
except for one thing...
I'm sorta tired of being alone...
I mean the cats are super great company on Monday nights when TCBITW is with his dad but it would be nice every once in a while to go to a movie...or have a man take me to dinner...or have someone hold my hand and tell me I look pretty...Dragon is very good at purring in my lap but he doesn't speak human...but his cat language is pretty groovy...
When I asked for a divorce I didn't know what to expect down the road...I just knew that at that moment I had to get out or I was going to turn back into a 300 lb miserable woman.
But here I am 4 years later...very happy but getting a little tired of being alone...
some of it is my fault...I'm pretty picky and I have turned down some offers of getting fixed up (like poor GOTTESS wanted to fix me up with this guy who is about 12 years older and has a mustache like a walrus and I told her that man will never get me out of the house...). I know what I am attracted to and I am not going to settle for "he's nice but doesn't get the motor running" again...
I don't have to have grand passion but I should at least think the guy is cute enough I want to hold his hand...or at least leave the house with...
and please don't say "but you might find you are attracted to him when you meet him and get to know him...he has a great personality!"
um...no...
I need to at least think the guy is cute or all we will ever be is friends...
I have made that mistake before...I made that mistake for about 25 years...
I don't care about money and what someone does as long as they are honest...
so many men my age don't want "me"...
and by "me" I don't mean the actual "me" but rather who I am as a woman:
50 years old
body ok but not perfect
two kids
a job that requires you to pay attention to my love of musical theater
Men in the age group I am interested in dating want a woman who is 35, built, can still have babies (so they have that option) and make good bank.
They want a Barbie on their arm who is younger so they feel young and virile and why they hell would they want to put up with pre-menopause when they could have a woman that makes their friends jealous...
I tried match.com for about 5 minutes and once I weeded through the losers who were just looking for sex or were lying about their age by 10-15 years I found that most of the guys I said "yes, I think he could be ok" to were looking for women "30-45" that were "skinny" or "athletic" and "please don't contact me unless you have photos". The rest of the losers were posting photos that were clearly 10 years old, or they were shirtless in their bathroom mirror (ewwwww) or lots of photos with guys with Harley's or fancy cars and the occasional boat...
ugh
I had several guys want my phone # so we could "hook up" and others that when I told them "no thank you" decided that I needed to be told what I stuck-up bitch I was and how I was not worth their time and didn't deserve them...and that I was lying about my age (I never did) and usually those were the losers who were lying about their age by shaving off 10 years...
okie dokie
I got off match without every having met a single man (at least I hope they are all single...)
I don't regret that decision either...
I know plenty of people have met and married from online dating but for me it just wasn't a fit...
I know that some day there will be a man 45-55 years old who drives a big ass truck and likes red wine and isn't bothered by how I look after spin class who is open to watching high school musicals and is ok with putting up with not seeing his girlfriend for the month of January. He will know I far prefer lilies to roses, that I would rather cook at home than go out (but will occasionally squire me to places I love like George's Pastaria and Union Kitchen) and will watch Modern Family and Last Man Standing with me. He will be ok with watching my son play football and wrestle and will think museums are fun and will know to order me a dirty martini if we are out at a place that carries Tito's vodka. He will wipe my tears when I cry at a Rothko painting or The Color Purple and he will be ok with hanging out with gay people and will in fact love them like I do. If he has dimples and blue eyes that would pretty much make him perfect.
yeah...that would just about be perfect...
I can live without the truck but the "loving gay people" and understanding that my kids come first are non-negotiables and he needs to understand that I love the kids at my job so much I think they are mine and that my job is very important to me...
but he doesn't have to drive a truck...but damn that sure makes a man sexy in my book...
I would rather sleep alone than next to someone I don't love (although there are nights I don't love my cat Zulu so much when he is smothering me) and raising my kids is the single most important thing I do so maybe it's ok I don't have a distracting man to distract me...
but I am getting a little tired of being on my own...and yes it kinda sucks that my ex is very involved with someone and has a life outside our kids and I don't...because frankly between the two of us I think I might have the edge on being a better catch because I am a damn good cook...and I have better hair...
But then again on my own I got to pick out the house I wanted...
I got to choose how to decorate it...
I get to pick what I have for dinner...
I get the closet to myself...
and the whole bathroom is mine...
but I could make space in the bathroom (as for the closet...well...hmmmm....maybe I need to stay single...my shoes need breathing room)
I just want to wait until a man comes along who makes my heart beat faster...who gives me butterflies...who says "wrestling is fun to watch" (ok I know that is stretching it...)
I want a guy worthy of me rearranging my schedule...but not giving up time with my son...
I'm happy on my own but I'm ready to not be alone...
(BTW this is very much NOT a plea for any of you to set me up!!!! NOOOOOOOO)
I have been doing it on my own for 4 years...I can do it 40 more if the good Lord sees fit to give me that much time...and I will always be glad I had the courage to move on from my bad marriage...
So raise whatever glass you have at your side and toast not to me but to all who have the courage to change their lives...I don't just mean with divorce...I mean with ANYTHING that makes your life better...
Change your life if you are not moving forward...or change direction...but don't stay stuck...
and don't be afraid to do something on your own...because sometimes you have to do something on your own so you can share it with others...
Inspiration Song: "On My Own" by Miley Cyrus. Yes, you read that right...Miley. I actually totally love the song and Marvelous Mel plays it in spin class and we get to rocking and moving and it's my anthem. I may not always love Miley but this is one thing I do love her for...this song!
Bye darlings...I have had 4 years on my own...I celebrate each day on my own...and now I challenge you to be inspired to try something new or make some change in your life that makes it better...do it in celebration of yourself!
Friday, February 27, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Food, Glorious Food
Hello Darlings!
Today's blog is going to be a little different...today's blog is a cooking lesson...
I thought you might need some relief from my blogging therapy, whining, and yelling at you to find a spin bike and ride...
If you are a follower of mine of Facebook or Instagram you know that I have turned into some sort of a sad cliché of a middle-aged divorced woman:
I post photos of my cats and food I cook
and that's about all I post photos of...except for the occasional sweaty selfie or group shot after a spin class...
But since I post so many cooking photos I get a lot of questions and requests...and since everyone is early into still trying to keep your New Year's Resolutions I thought I could help you out a bit by giving you some cooking tips...
I know everyone is working hard because the spin classes at the studio are booked to "waitlist" status (yay! I love a full class!) and you can't find parking near any gyms...
so right now people have health and fitness on their minds...and one of the best ways to keep yourself healthy is by cooking things at home so you can control the salt and fat content...I lost all of my weight not with a special diet or surgery but by what I ate and working out...and I found that when I was in control of what went on my plate I had great tasty HEALTHY meals that were low in sodium and fat and high in flavor.
I love to cook so for me that was the best way to do it...
I learned to cook from my mom. She was a great cook.
Like me she was a cook...not a baker...
She didn't particularly enjoy baking and neither do I...I did as a child but now it is a chore. I guess it is because of all the measuring and exactness. I have always considered baking a science and cooking an art...
not that baking can't be artful because it totally is...but that is more about how you decorate and plate it and "foof" it up...
cooking is more forgiving and foolproof...you don't have to measure...you just put stuff in...
so for that reason I have exactly 2 cakes in my arsenal and that is it:
Coca-Cola cake
and
Tres Leches cake
that's it...other than cookies from pre-made dough that is the extent of my baking I do.
And if I bake for you then you know you are LOVED...because I hate doing it...
It's cold outside and these days I crave a lot of soup...
I like soup
It's easy...
It's a meal that is warm and comforting
It freezes well
its easy to make a giant batch of it so you cook once but have many meals
It can be super healthy or super rich and bad but oh so yummy
a good bowl of soup is a thing of beauty...
My mom made soup better than anyone...and her sandwich making was an art form...
I think my mom was the only blonde (ok from a bottle blonde) Catholic woman who made matzoh ball soup as good as any Jewish grandmother...maybe better than most...
I never complained when she said we were having soup for dinner and when I was an adult I often called her and asked her to make me a sandwich and soup for lunch when I was working or if I could come over on a Sunday afternoon and have a bowl of her delicious soup...
The only time I got tired of soup was the 6 weeks I had a broken jaw (long story...no one hit me...it was to fix an open bite) and had to eat nothing but soup...
that was a long 6 weeks and I got very sick of soup...and I made every soup you can imagine...
but it taught me the art of soup making...
then I got married to a man who thinks soup is just something you eat at the Chinese restaurant before you get your General Tso's chicken...
my son feels the same way...
my daughter, on the other hand, loves soup and will eat just about any soup I make except for tomato basil (she doesn't like tomato things...)
the other night I went to KuteKaren's house and 5 college kids happily slurped up mugs of my homemade tomato basil soup and hugged me for making it...and then I kicked their booties playing "Cards Against Humanity"...
So today's lesson is going to be about...
SOUP
(I guess you figured that out by now)
You need some basic equipment...like a stock pot or a dutch oven...it all depends on how much you are making...
This is a photo of my cooktop...it looks like this all the time...I keep those pots and skillets on there all the time because I use them ALL THE TIME
Really if you have a good seasoned cast iron skillet and a heavy cast iron enamel dutch/French oven you are set...I do 98% of my cooking in those pots and pans...the only time I do something different is if I am using a roasting pan for the oven...but on the stove---those are pretty much it...
And you don't need to pay a bajillion bucks for a dutch oven...two of mine are of the fancy French pricey variety but the one in the middle is from the grocery store (HEB) and it works as good or better as the other two and was 1/10th the price.
Same thing with the cast iron...they are from the grocery store. I wish I had a 50 year old one handed down over the decades but that isn't the case...so I bought these. Most cast iron skillet these days come pre-seasoned...When I get one I pour a little oil in it, heat it up, turn off the heat...pour out the oil and then wipe it out leaving a little film of oil on it. Then I start using it...
and if you don't know about cleaning...well...in a nutshell:
dutch oven---never put in the dishwasher (some people do but I don't), soak to remove stuck on food...if something is super stuck fill it with water and put it on the stove...dump in about 1/2 cup to 1 cup of baking soda...bring to a boil and boil 10 min...pour out and the gunk will easily come off with a sponge...
cast iron---NO SOAP EVER...just wash with hot water...a well seasoned skillet will come clean with just a spray from your faucet sprayer...I use kosher salt if something gets stuck on...after rinsing I dry with a paper towel and I keep mine on the stove with a thin coating (just a sheen) of canola oil to prevent rusting...
I may be making mistakes with my pots but that is what works for me...
They make excellent wedding and graduation gifts...
So now that I have totally bored you about equipment let's get to the cooking...
You can't make a good soup without a good stock.
yes, you can use the stuff in the box...but I SWEAR if you will just try making your own stock you will find it is sooooo much better...
not kidding
it makes that big a difference
What do you need for stock?
a big pot
aromatic veggies (celery, onion, carrot)
garlic
herbs (depends on the stock...and I like fresh ones)
olive oil
bones or poultry carcass
wine or beer (red wine for beef, white for poultry, and beer if I am making a Mexican soup)
"Better than bouillon" paste or Knorr bouillon cubes (it's a cheat but works)
cheesecloth
I have learned that it is easy to freeze and save bones and carcasses if I am not going to make a stock right away...same with veggie scraps or those last 2 carrots that are about to go "wilty" in the fridge...
If you buy a bone-in steak it is usually cheaper by the pound but you end up paying for the bone...consider that a huge fabulous bonus! Cook the steak with the bone on and then cut off the bone and throw it in a Ziploc...save for soup! I do that with my prime rib roast bones too...
and I almost always supplement my beef stock bones with some oxtail bones...they are an inexpensive way to add flavor and the marrow adds that "gelatinous" quality that makes a soup a bit richer...
and for chickens and turkey if you buy a grocery store roasted chicken and use the meat for a casserole, save the bones in the freezer to make a stock...
I have tried making chicken stock from cooking a whole bird but frankly I find I can make as good or better a soup (and not have over boiled meat) if I use a grocery store roasted chicken...I pick the meat off and save it for after I get the stock done...the bones and wings go in the stock pot...
once you have saved up enough bones and veggies (or go to the store and get them) set aside a Saturday or Sunday to babysit your stock and watch some tv while it goes from "a bunch of stuff" to "deliciousness"...
and remember---this is the STOCK not the soup so scraps and "junk" is just fine
All stocks start like this:
roughly chop up some onion, celery and carrots...or get the scraps out of the freezer...
heat some olive oil in your pot until it "shimmers" and then add in the veggies and cook until they are starting to brown...the flavor is in the brown people...
you can also roast your veggies...
add in whole cloves of garlic (you do not need to peel because all of this gets strained out)
peppercorns
bones or carcass
If I am making a beef stock instead of olive oil I save a bit of the fat from steaks when I trim them and freeze it to use to render the fat for the stock...adds a lot of flavor...
Now cover the whole mess with water...cover it until it is well covered...you will keep adding water as you go...
This is when I add herbs...I always toss in some bay leaves and whole stems of thyme...and if I am making stock for Mexican caldo or tortilla soup I forgo the thyme and bay leaves and use cilantro and a few slices of fresh jalapeno
bring to a boil and then turn down to a gentle simmer...and start watching it...
when the water level becomes reduced a bit I add in some wine....but not too much...it is hard for me to tell you how much to use because I don't know how much you are making but what I usually do is toss in a good "glug"...it will enrich it and you can add more as you go...and again for the Mexican caldo I prefer to use a beer...you don't want it to taste of wine but 1/2 cup of wine in a large stock pot won't make your stock taste of wine but will add to the flavor...and since this is just the stock if you want more of a wine flavor you can add in more wine when you turn the stock into soup
now here is where I "cheat" a bit...I always toss in a few Knorr bouillon cubes or a few tablespoons of "better than bouillon" paste...not too much or it will get salty...and I never salt until I actually make the soup itself....but it will enrich your stock...
(I keep those Knorr cubes on hand...the are great for making rice taste better and adding as a seasoning...just use less salt)
let the whole thing simmer for 6-8 hours adding water as you go...you want a rich stock so don't add too much water but as long as you keep the bones and veggies covered you should be fine.
taste it and see if you have a nice beefy or chicken or turkey or veggie flavor... and you can throw in an extra tablespoon or so of bouillon paste or wine at this point...
now you strain...
I strain twice...
Once with my regular pasta strainer and then I strain again with the strainer but line it with cheesecloth...that catches all the little bits and gives you a nice fairly clear stock...
there is some fancy stuff you can do with eggs that makes it very clear but I have never bothered with that...
I always put it back in the pot (I clean the pot out while straining) and once cool enough I put it in the fridge over night so the fat will rise and harden and I can pull the fat off...
The next day pour into freezer bags (very handy) or freezer containers and store...and if you have an old ice cube tray laying around making some stock cubes is a good thing for enriching sauces...
that's it...
then it is ready to use for soup...
as for soup, here are some easy soups I like to do:
Beef Veggie Soup with Noodles:
Ingredients:
beef stock
homestyle noodles (or egg noodles but if you can get your hands on a homestyle kind do it!)
carrots
mushrooms
thyme
onion (thin sliced)
garlic
corn
leftover steak or some cubed beef for soup or stew
red wine
Saute the onion in a bit of olive oil until starting to brown...add in mushrooms (slice or whole) and cook until the mushrooms soften. Add in a good glug or two of red wine and let it start to burn off...thrown in carrot slices (or baby carrots) and a finely chopped garlic clove (or two)...or grate in the garlic with a microplane...saute your meat until it starts to brown...add in your stock and gently simmer for a couple of hours...pull out... thyme and add in egg noodles and cook until noodles are soft. You can add other veggies like frozen corn, etc...whatever you like...and don't forget to taste for salt (you might add it now) and I love some pepper...
To make chicken noodle to the same thing except with chicken...duh...and use white wine...and I definitely use a little celery when making chicken soup...and I add in chicken from a grocery store roasted chicken...
To make a Mexican style soup I saute onion and bell peppers...add in the garlic...maybe a slice or two of jalapeno...I use cilantro instead of thyme...beer instead of wine...add in chicken stock...throw in some cumin to taste...add in chicken meat. For veggies I usually use corn and squash and carrots...I skip the celery...and you can use beans but I am not much a fan of beans in my soup unless it is a bean soup...fish out the cilantro and jalapeno slices before serving and serve with baked tortilla chips and a little cheese and maybe some crema and a bit of fresh chopped cilantro...
I use beef (and sometimes chicken) stock to make French onion soup...just saute some sweet onions in butter until carmelized...toss in some fresh thyme and about 1/2 cup red wine and let the wine reduce...add in stock...that's it...taste and check for salt and seasoning...you can do the whole bit with the bread crouton and melted cheese on top but I take the easy route and throw a crostini or bruschetta bread on the bottom of the bowl, ladle in the hot soup and throw some shredded gruyere or swiss on top and stir in...
I know that none of this is exact but I am not that kind of cook...I don't measure...
When you make the stock just remember that all of it will get strained so don't stress about how the veggies look or are cut...don't salt it but rather save adding salt for when you make the soup...add ingredients like wine and bouillon a little at a time so that you don't over-do...
I also find that some unexpected things can season up a soup (not the stock but the SOUP) really well:
a dash of soy sauce for an Asian soup...or try Ponzu sauce...
a dash or two of Worcestershire adds a lot of flavor to a beef soup and chicken soup
a dash of balsamic vinegar adds a little extra flavor too...but just a dash...
a couple of dashes of Tabasco add flavor and no heat...
all soups are made even more yummy if you have some tasty things to dress it up...I love making homemade croutons and bruschetta to serve with soup...I bake my own tortilla chips in the oven for texture...fresh cilantro or green onions are always delish...and a little Mexican crema can turn a soup creamy and extra yummy...
For homemade croutons: get some good loaf bread (unsliced)...let it get a little stale and dried out...cube the bread and toss in a skillet or roasting pan with equal parts butter and olive oil (I love to use flavored olive oils for this)...toss to coat and bake in a 350 degree oven until crispy...store in a Ziploc or plastic lidded container...will keep a few weeks...
for the bruschetta I get a loaf of unsliced bread (rosemary sea salt is my favorite)...slice into thin slices and brush with olive oil (flavored olive oil, especially garlic, is nice for this)...bake until crispy...
for flavored olive oils if you don't have an olive oil/vinegar store in your town you can order online...Boston Olive Oil company is my favorite...I always keep garlic, chipotle, and butter flavor on hand...love rosemary flavor and jalapeno flavor and...bacon...oh yeah...
Get creative with your soup making...think about baked potato soup...carrot and ginger soup...butternut squash...
the possibilities are endless...and if you have some good stock on hand it is easy to take what is in your fridge and turn it into a delicious bowl of goodness...
I will leave you with one last soup...this one does not use stock...
Tomato Basil soup:
get a variety of tomatoes, preferably organic...I use a combination of roma, beefsteak, hothouse, and lots of varieties of cherry and grape tomatoes...
rinse the tomatoes and roughly chop the bigger ones...cherry and grape ones can remain whole...
in your pot saute 1/2 of a chopped sweet onion in a bit of olive oil over low heat until it is soft...toss in the tomatoes and cook (stirring often) until they are releasing juices and very soft and "popping" open as you stir. Turn off the heat and stir in a few tablespoons of butter and a little white pepper and 2 TBS of brown sugar (yes, do it...). don't salt yet...take a stick blender or blend in batches in a regular blender adding fresh basil to taste...Now add some salt...a little at a time...this should be sweet and rich but not salty. If you want a cream soup you can add some half and half but I find that no cream is needed...it tastes creamy as it is...and it is super healthy this way...
Ok so I know this isn't my usual blog and many of you who read this are stellar cooks but I wanted to share with you for those of you who don't realize how easy it all is...
If you have questions please leave them in the "comment" section at the bottom here...very likely what you are asking is something someone else may want the answer for...
and let me know if you want a few more recipes or cooking tips...I am happy to give them or I can keep this blog to the therapy/musings it always is...
Inspiration Song: "Food, Glorious Food" from the musical "Oliver!"...
Bye Darlings...make yourself a pot of soup and enjoy how satisfying it can be....tonight I am going to watch Downton Abbey while I enjoy some chicken soup....
Today's blog is going to be a little different...today's blog is a cooking lesson...
I thought you might need some relief from my blogging therapy, whining, and yelling at you to find a spin bike and ride...
If you are a follower of mine of Facebook or Instagram you know that I have turned into some sort of a sad cliché of a middle-aged divorced woman:
I post photos of my cats and food I cook
and that's about all I post photos of...except for the occasional sweaty selfie or group shot after a spin class...
But since I post so many cooking photos I get a lot of questions and requests...and since everyone is early into still trying to keep your New Year's Resolutions I thought I could help you out a bit by giving you some cooking tips...
I know everyone is working hard because the spin classes at the studio are booked to "waitlist" status (yay! I love a full class!) and you can't find parking near any gyms...
so right now people have health and fitness on their minds...and one of the best ways to keep yourself healthy is by cooking things at home so you can control the salt and fat content...I lost all of my weight not with a special diet or surgery but by what I ate and working out...and I found that when I was in control of what went on my plate I had great tasty HEALTHY meals that were low in sodium and fat and high in flavor.
I love to cook so for me that was the best way to do it...
I learned to cook from my mom. She was a great cook.
Like me she was a cook...not a baker...
She didn't particularly enjoy baking and neither do I...I did as a child but now it is a chore. I guess it is because of all the measuring and exactness. I have always considered baking a science and cooking an art...
not that baking can't be artful because it totally is...but that is more about how you decorate and plate it and "foof" it up...
cooking is more forgiving and foolproof...you don't have to measure...you just put stuff in...
so for that reason I have exactly 2 cakes in my arsenal and that is it:
Coca-Cola cake
and
Tres Leches cake
that's it...other than cookies from pre-made dough that is the extent of my baking I do.
And if I bake for you then you know you are LOVED...because I hate doing it...
It's cold outside and these days I crave a lot of soup...
I like soup
It's easy...
It's a meal that is warm and comforting
It freezes well
its easy to make a giant batch of it so you cook once but have many meals
It can be super healthy or super rich and bad but oh so yummy
a good bowl of soup is a thing of beauty...
My mom made soup better than anyone...and her sandwich making was an art form...
I think my mom was the only blonde (ok from a bottle blonde) Catholic woman who made matzoh ball soup as good as any Jewish grandmother...maybe better than most...
I never complained when she said we were having soup for dinner and when I was an adult I often called her and asked her to make me a sandwich and soup for lunch when I was working or if I could come over on a Sunday afternoon and have a bowl of her delicious soup...
The only time I got tired of soup was the 6 weeks I had a broken jaw (long story...no one hit me...it was to fix an open bite) and had to eat nothing but soup...
that was a long 6 weeks and I got very sick of soup...and I made every soup you can imagine...
but it taught me the art of soup making...
then I got married to a man who thinks soup is just something you eat at the Chinese restaurant before you get your General Tso's chicken...
my son feels the same way...
my daughter, on the other hand, loves soup and will eat just about any soup I make except for tomato basil (she doesn't like tomato things...)
the other night I went to KuteKaren's house and 5 college kids happily slurped up mugs of my homemade tomato basil soup and hugged me for making it...and then I kicked their booties playing "Cards Against Humanity"...
So today's lesson is going to be about...
SOUP
(I guess you figured that out by now)
You need some basic equipment...like a stock pot or a dutch oven...it all depends on how much you are making...
This is a photo of my cooktop...it looks like this all the time...I keep those pots and skillets on there all the time because I use them ALL THE TIME
Really if you have a good seasoned cast iron skillet and a heavy cast iron enamel dutch/French oven you are set...I do 98% of my cooking in those pots and pans...the only time I do something different is if I am using a roasting pan for the oven...but on the stove---those are pretty much it...
And you don't need to pay a bajillion bucks for a dutch oven...two of mine are of the fancy French pricey variety but the one in the middle is from the grocery store (HEB) and it works as good or better as the other two and was 1/10th the price.
Same thing with the cast iron...they are from the grocery store. I wish I had a 50 year old one handed down over the decades but that isn't the case...so I bought these. Most cast iron skillet these days come pre-seasoned...When I get one I pour a little oil in it, heat it up, turn off the heat...pour out the oil and then wipe it out leaving a little film of oil on it. Then I start using it...
and if you don't know about cleaning...well...in a nutshell:
dutch oven---never put in the dishwasher (some people do but I don't), soak to remove stuck on food...if something is super stuck fill it with water and put it on the stove...dump in about 1/2 cup to 1 cup of baking soda...bring to a boil and boil 10 min...pour out and the gunk will easily come off with a sponge...
cast iron---NO SOAP EVER...just wash with hot water...a well seasoned skillet will come clean with just a spray from your faucet sprayer...I use kosher salt if something gets stuck on...after rinsing I dry with a paper towel and I keep mine on the stove with a thin coating (just a sheen) of canola oil to prevent rusting...
I may be making mistakes with my pots but that is what works for me...
They make excellent wedding and graduation gifts...
So now that I have totally bored you about equipment let's get to the cooking...
You can't make a good soup without a good stock.
yes, you can use the stuff in the box...but I SWEAR if you will just try making your own stock you will find it is sooooo much better...
not kidding
it makes that big a difference
What do you need for stock?
a big pot
aromatic veggies (celery, onion, carrot)
garlic
herbs (depends on the stock...and I like fresh ones)
olive oil
bones or poultry carcass
wine or beer (red wine for beef, white for poultry, and beer if I am making a Mexican soup)
"Better than bouillon" paste or Knorr bouillon cubes (it's a cheat but works)
cheesecloth
I have learned that it is easy to freeze and save bones and carcasses if I am not going to make a stock right away...same with veggie scraps or those last 2 carrots that are about to go "wilty" in the fridge...
If you buy a bone-in steak it is usually cheaper by the pound but you end up paying for the bone...consider that a huge fabulous bonus! Cook the steak with the bone on and then cut off the bone and throw it in a Ziploc...save for soup! I do that with my prime rib roast bones too...
and I almost always supplement my beef stock bones with some oxtail bones...they are an inexpensive way to add flavor and the marrow adds that "gelatinous" quality that makes a soup a bit richer...
and for chickens and turkey if you buy a grocery store roasted chicken and use the meat for a casserole, save the bones in the freezer to make a stock...
I have tried making chicken stock from cooking a whole bird but frankly I find I can make as good or better a soup (and not have over boiled meat) if I use a grocery store roasted chicken...I pick the meat off and save it for after I get the stock done...the bones and wings go in the stock pot...
once you have saved up enough bones and veggies (or go to the store and get them) set aside a Saturday or Sunday to babysit your stock and watch some tv while it goes from "a bunch of stuff" to "deliciousness"...
and remember---this is the STOCK not the soup so scraps and "junk" is just fine
All stocks start like this:
roughly chop up some onion, celery and carrots...or get the scraps out of the freezer...
heat some olive oil in your pot until it "shimmers" and then add in the veggies and cook until they are starting to brown...the flavor is in the brown people...
you can also roast your veggies...
add in whole cloves of garlic (you do not need to peel because all of this gets strained out)
peppercorns
bones or carcass
If I am making a beef stock instead of olive oil I save a bit of the fat from steaks when I trim them and freeze it to use to render the fat for the stock...adds a lot of flavor...
Now cover the whole mess with water...cover it until it is well covered...you will keep adding water as you go...
This is when I add herbs...I always toss in some bay leaves and whole stems of thyme...and if I am making stock for Mexican caldo or tortilla soup I forgo the thyme and bay leaves and use cilantro and a few slices of fresh jalapeno
bring to a boil and then turn down to a gentle simmer...and start watching it...
when the water level becomes reduced a bit I add in some wine....but not too much...it is hard for me to tell you how much to use because I don't know how much you are making but what I usually do is toss in a good "glug"...it will enrich it and you can add more as you go...and again for the Mexican caldo I prefer to use a beer...you don't want it to taste of wine but 1/2 cup of wine in a large stock pot won't make your stock taste of wine but will add to the flavor...and since this is just the stock if you want more of a wine flavor you can add in more wine when you turn the stock into soup
now here is where I "cheat" a bit...I always toss in a few Knorr bouillon cubes or a few tablespoons of "better than bouillon" paste...not too much or it will get salty...and I never salt until I actually make the soup itself....but it will enrich your stock...
(I keep those Knorr cubes on hand...the are great for making rice taste better and adding as a seasoning...just use less salt)
let the whole thing simmer for 6-8 hours adding water as you go...you want a rich stock so don't add too much water but as long as you keep the bones and veggies covered you should be fine.
taste it and see if you have a nice beefy or chicken or turkey or veggie flavor... and you can throw in an extra tablespoon or so of bouillon paste or wine at this point...
now you strain...
I strain twice...
Once with my regular pasta strainer and then I strain again with the strainer but line it with cheesecloth...that catches all the little bits and gives you a nice fairly clear stock...
there is some fancy stuff you can do with eggs that makes it very clear but I have never bothered with that...
I always put it back in the pot (I clean the pot out while straining) and once cool enough I put it in the fridge over night so the fat will rise and harden and I can pull the fat off...
The next day pour into freezer bags (very handy) or freezer containers and store...and if you have an old ice cube tray laying around making some stock cubes is a good thing for enriching sauces...
that's it...
then it is ready to use for soup...
as for soup, here are some easy soups I like to do:
Beef Veggie Soup with Noodles:
Ingredients:
beef stock
homestyle noodles (or egg noodles but if you can get your hands on a homestyle kind do it!)
carrots
mushrooms
thyme
onion (thin sliced)
garlic
corn
leftover steak or some cubed beef for soup or stew
red wine
Saute the onion in a bit of olive oil until starting to brown...add in mushrooms (slice or whole) and cook until the mushrooms soften. Add in a good glug or two of red wine and let it start to burn off...thrown in carrot slices (or baby carrots) and a finely chopped garlic clove (or two)...or grate in the garlic with a microplane...saute your meat until it starts to brown...add in your stock and gently simmer for a couple of hours...pull out... thyme and add in egg noodles and cook until noodles are soft. You can add other veggies like frozen corn, etc...whatever you like...and don't forget to taste for salt (you might add it now) and I love some pepper...
To make chicken noodle to the same thing except with chicken...duh...and use white wine...and I definitely use a little celery when making chicken soup...and I add in chicken from a grocery store roasted chicken...
To make a Mexican style soup I saute onion and bell peppers...add in the garlic...maybe a slice or two of jalapeno...I use cilantro instead of thyme...beer instead of wine...add in chicken stock...throw in some cumin to taste...add in chicken meat. For veggies I usually use corn and squash and carrots...I skip the celery...and you can use beans but I am not much a fan of beans in my soup unless it is a bean soup...fish out the cilantro and jalapeno slices before serving and serve with baked tortilla chips and a little cheese and maybe some crema and a bit of fresh chopped cilantro...
I use beef (and sometimes chicken) stock to make French onion soup...just saute some sweet onions in butter until carmelized...toss in some fresh thyme and about 1/2 cup red wine and let the wine reduce...add in stock...that's it...taste and check for salt and seasoning...you can do the whole bit with the bread crouton and melted cheese on top but I take the easy route and throw a crostini or bruschetta bread on the bottom of the bowl, ladle in the hot soup and throw some shredded gruyere or swiss on top and stir in...
I know that none of this is exact but I am not that kind of cook...I don't measure...
When you make the stock just remember that all of it will get strained so don't stress about how the veggies look or are cut...don't salt it but rather save adding salt for when you make the soup...add ingredients like wine and bouillon a little at a time so that you don't over-do...
I also find that some unexpected things can season up a soup (not the stock but the SOUP) really well:
a dash of soy sauce for an Asian soup...or try Ponzu sauce...
a dash or two of Worcestershire adds a lot of flavor to a beef soup and chicken soup
a dash of balsamic vinegar adds a little extra flavor too...but just a dash...
a couple of dashes of Tabasco add flavor and no heat...
all soups are made even more yummy if you have some tasty things to dress it up...I love making homemade croutons and bruschetta to serve with soup...I bake my own tortilla chips in the oven for texture...fresh cilantro or green onions are always delish...and a little Mexican crema can turn a soup creamy and extra yummy...
For homemade croutons: get some good loaf bread (unsliced)...let it get a little stale and dried out...cube the bread and toss in a skillet or roasting pan with equal parts butter and olive oil (I love to use flavored olive oils for this)...toss to coat and bake in a 350 degree oven until crispy...store in a Ziploc or plastic lidded container...will keep a few weeks...
for the bruschetta I get a loaf of unsliced bread (rosemary sea salt is my favorite)...slice into thin slices and brush with olive oil (flavored olive oil, especially garlic, is nice for this)...bake until crispy...
for flavored olive oils if you don't have an olive oil/vinegar store in your town you can order online...Boston Olive Oil company is my favorite...I always keep garlic, chipotle, and butter flavor on hand...love rosemary flavor and jalapeno flavor and...bacon...oh yeah...
Get creative with your soup making...think about baked potato soup...carrot and ginger soup...butternut squash...
the possibilities are endless...and if you have some good stock on hand it is easy to take what is in your fridge and turn it into a delicious bowl of goodness...
I will leave you with one last soup...this one does not use stock...
Tomato Basil soup:
get a variety of tomatoes, preferably organic...I use a combination of roma, beefsteak, hothouse, and lots of varieties of cherry and grape tomatoes...
rinse the tomatoes and roughly chop the bigger ones...cherry and grape ones can remain whole...
in your pot saute 1/2 of a chopped sweet onion in a bit of olive oil over low heat until it is soft...toss in the tomatoes and cook (stirring often) until they are releasing juices and very soft and "popping" open as you stir. Turn off the heat and stir in a few tablespoons of butter and a little white pepper and 2 TBS of brown sugar (yes, do it...). don't salt yet...take a stick blender or blend in batches in a regular blender adding fresh basil to taste...Now add some salt...a little at a time...this should be sweet and rich but not salty. If you want a cream soup you can add some half and half but I find that no cream is needed...it tastes creamy as it is...and it is super healthy this way...
Ok so I know this isn't my usual blog and many of you who read this are stellar cooks but I wanted to share with you for those of you who don't realize how easy it all is...
If you have questions please leave them in the "comment" section at the bottom here...very likely what you are asking is something someone else may want the answer for...
and let me know if you want a few more recipes or cooking tips...I am happy to give them or I can keep this blog to the therapy/musings it always is...
Inspiration Song: "Food, Glorious Food" from the musical "Oliver!"...
Bye Darlings...make yourself a pot of soup and enjoy how satisfying it can be....tonight I am going to watch Downton Abbey while I enjoy some chicken soup....
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Rather Be
Hi Darlings!
Happy New Year!
I hope 2015 brings you much joy and love and laughter and all good things...that you learn and grow...that you live your best life...
I wrote a blog about Christmas but sometimes when I blog I wait a day or so to publish and I am glad I did...it was self indulgent and whiney...and I am self-indulgent and whiney a lot but I don't think anyone needed that at Christmas....
so I sat back and waited and read it and hit the trash button...
but the holidays always get me thinking...and sometimes they are a little sad and lonely for me...
I miss my kids when they are with their dad...
I miss my parents because they are gone...
I miss having a love in my life to share the holidays with...
And as I had some time to be alone and contemplate I had time to count my blessings that 2014 brought me and a chance to think about what I want from 2015...
2014 was a great year...
I sold my house and bought Casa Bonita...it's just perfect for me and D'Nice and I had fun decorating it and I had fun shopping for things for it with KuteKaren. It would not be the gorgeous refuge it is for me without their help...
there truly is no place I would rather be...
I don't really miss my old house...I do miss my old shower (oh I miss that shower) and I miss my old closet (but my new one isn't half bad at all...) and in the summer I missed my pool (but not the care and maintenance of it).
I made new friends with the sale of my old home and the purchase of my new one...I walked out of both transactions hugging the other parties and truly loving them. When the couple that purchased my old house ended up moving because of an amazing career opportunity I was touched when they invited me over to pick up the last of my mail and see the changes they made.
The house was gorgeous...I loved it all...and I didn't feel any regret...
until I had to say goodbye to them...
I had long since said goodbye to the house...but I loved the family that bought it and knew it was in the perfect hands...but when I hugged MarvelousMichelle on the front porch I cried...because I knew I would miss her and miss the chance to spend more time with her and watch her son grow and I adored her husband as well...
and when GentlemanJim (who I bought Casa Bonita from) messaged me to tell me that SweetSue (his darling wife) had cancer....well I sat down and cried and prayed on my knees for her health and recovery...
But truly there is no place I would rather be than Casa Bonita and I would rather have those friendships than anything else...
2014 also was my first musical with my Houston Christian kids....oh how I love them!
It brought me the treasure that is My Other Daughter (MOD) and a chance to grow closer to my Sweet Caroline who I have known for years...and all my sweet lovely kids that I find myself loving like they were my own...
and I got an award nomination for my costumes...not bad...not bad at all...
I was worried about how it would be to work with high school kids but GOTT had faith in me and now that I am there is can honestly tell you there is no place I would rather be...
In 2014 I found a new spin studio and fell in love with Revolution Studio and the people that work there and spin there...I guess you kinda figured that out from my constant FB posts and blogs...
I hated leaving JayVee and her amazing classes and my friends at my old club but I had to think of my finances and as a single woman a country club membership was really not practical. JayVee introduced me to Revolution to give me an option...she knew we would always be friends (and we will be) but that I needed to move on to someplace that made more economic sense for me...
and it did make more sense financially...
but the best part is...
I am not settling for something less...I landed right where I needed to be...
I have the most amazing place to work out and I have met the most incredible people there...I have so many new friends and I love walking in there and hugging the people inside that little jewel of a studio...
it has been a true growth for me there and there really is no place I would rather be than on a bike (preferably Bike 6) at Revolution Studio.
I love it so much I spent my 50th birthday there...
oh yeah...
2014 brought me...
50...
ugh...
some days I totally feel it and others I think "not bad for 50...not bad at all..."
Would I rather be 40?
youbetcha
but in many ways...no...
I would like to be 40 so I could roll back time and not get fat and get out of my marriage sooner...and so my knees would not feel 70 years old and so that maybe I could have spared a lot of people some collateral damage from my failed marriage...
but I would rather be the me I am at 50 than the me I could have been if I had not taken control of my life and moved towards happiness and not misery...
and I would rather be alone than in a bad marriage and making someone else miserable as well...
So what do I want for 2015?
My friend the Amazing Anna posted something on FB about how she had gotten clear about her four pillars for her life this year (and yes she did it on a spin bike)...and then she asked me what mine were...
I didn't have to think about it...it just flowed out of me as I typed her the answer:
LIVE
LAUGH
LEARN
LOVE
This is going to be my "L" year...and I plan to blog about how I want to do those things in another blog (because this one is long enough) and I need time (most likely on the bike) to contemplate just what I want from those things...
but in short...
I want to LIVE my best life
I want to LAUGH a lot
I want to LEARN new things and learn from my mistakes
I want to LOVE everyone (and maybe find a man in a big ass truck to love...I'm kinda tired of being alone after almost 4 years...)
to quote Auntie Mame (who was not real so I guess I am either quoting Patrick Dennis or the writers of the play/movie):
I want to LIVE LIVE LIVE
LIFE IS A BANQUET AND MOST POOR SUCKERS ARE STARVING TO DEATH!!!
So plan to use this year as one where I live, laugh, learn and love...
and speaking of learning...
My cousin posted this quote from Neil Gaiman on his FB page and I am taking it to heart:
"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new... things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
― Neil Gaiman
that guy is pretty genius and my cousin is a pretty smart cookie too...
I lead a blessed and charmed life...I really have nothing to complain about...
I have amazing kids...
I own my own home...
I have a job I love and a boss I love...
I have incredible friends...
I have a wonderful community where I workout...
I am healthy...
I am happy...
and right now there is no one I would rather be than the me I am right now...
Inspiration Song: "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit. It was my favorite song of 2014 (just ahead of "this is how we do" by my girl Katy). I literally never tired of the song from spring until now...I still love it and listen to it every day...
I want to share the lyrics with you...because they are very inspirational...and it is truly how I feel most every day about my friends and you darlings that read this...
Happy New Year!
I hope 2015 brings you much joy and love and laughter and all good things...that you learn and grow...that you live your best life...
I wrote a blog about Christmas but sometimes when I blog I wait a day or so to publish and I am glad I did...it was self indulgent and whiney...and I am self-indulgent and whiney a lot but I don't think anyone needed that at Christmas....
so I sat back and waited and read it and hit the trash button...
but the holidays always get me thinking...and sometimes they are a little sad and lonely for me...
I miss my kids when they are with their dad...
I miss my parents because they are gone...
I miss having a love in my life to share the holidays with...
And as I had some time to be alone and contemplate I had time to count my blessings that 2014 brought me and a chance to think about what I want from 2015...
2014 was a great year...
I sold my house and bought Casa Bonita...it's just perfect for me and D'Nice and I had fun decorating it and I had fun shopping for things for it with KuteKaren. It would not be the gorgeous refuge it is for me without their help...
there truly is no place I would rather be...
I don't really miss my old house...I do miss my old shower (oh I miss that shower) and I miss my old closet (but my new one isn't half bad at all...) and in the summer I missed my pool (but not the care and maintenance of it).
I made new friends with the sale of my old home and the purchase of my new one...I walked out of both transactions hugging the other parties and truly loving them. When the couple that purchased my old house ended up moving because of an amazing career opportunity I was touched when they invited me over to pick up the last of my mail and see the changes they made.
The house was gorgeous...I loved it all...and I didn't feel any regret...
until I had to say goodbye to them...
I had long since said goodbye to the house...but I loved the family that bought it and knew it was in the perfect hands...but when I hugged MarvelousMichelle on the front porch I cried...because I knew I would miss her and miss the chance to spend more time with her and watch her son grow and I adored her husband as well...
and when GentlemanJim (who I bought Casa Bonita from) messaged me to tell me that SweetSue (his darling wife) had cancer....well I sat down and cried and prayed on my knees for her health and recovery...
But truly there is no place I would rather be than Casa Bonita and I would rather have those friendships than anything else...
2014 also was my first musical with my Houston Christian kids....oh how I love them!
It brought me the treasure that is My Other Daughter (MOD) and a chance to grow closer to my Sweet Caroline who I have known for years...and all my sweet lovely kids that I find myself loving like they were my own...
and I got an award nomination for my costumes...not bad...not bad at all...
I was worried about how it would be to work with high school kids but GOTT had faith in me and now that I am there is can honestly tell you there is no place I would rather be...
In 2014 I found a new spin studio and fell in love with Revolution Studio and the people that work there and spin there...I guess you kinda figured that out from my constant FB posts and blogs...
I hated leaving JayVee and her amazing classes and my friends at my old club but I had to think of my finances and as a single woman a country club membership was really not practical. JayVee introduced me to Revolution to give me an option...she knew we would always be friends (and we will be) but that I needed to move on to someplace that made more economic sense for me...
and it did make more sense financially...
but the best part is...
I am not settling for something less...I landed right where I needed to be...
I have the most amazing place to work out and I have met the most incredible people there...I have so many new friends and I love walking in there and hugging the people inside that little jewel of a studio...
it has been a true growth for me there and there really is no place I would rather be than on a bike (preferably Bike 6) at Revolution Studio.
I love it so much I spent my 50th birthday there...
oh yeah...
2014 brought me...
50...
ugh...
some days I totally feel it and others I think "not bad for 50...not bad at all..."
Would I rather be 40?
youbetcha
but in many ways...no...
I would like to be 40 so I could roll back time and not get fat and get out of my marriage sooner...and so my knees would not feel 70 years old and so that maybe I could have spared a lot of people some collateral damage from my failed marriage...
but I would rather be the me I am at 50 than the me I could have been if I had not taken control of my life and moved towards happiness and not misery...
and I would rather be alone than in a bad marriage and making someone else miserable as well...
So what do I want for 2015?
My friend the Amazing Anna posted something on FB about how she had gotten clear about her four pillars for her life this year (and yes she did it on a spin bike)...and then she asked me what mine were...
I didn't have to think about it...it just flowed out of me as I typed her the answer:
LIVE
LAUGH
LEARN
LOVE
This is going to be my "L" year...and I plan to blog about how I want to do those things in another blog (because this one is long enough) and I need time (most likely on the bike) to contemplate just what I want from those things...
but in short...
I want to LIVE my best life
I want to LAUGH a lot
I want to LEARN new things and learn from my mistakes
I want to LOVE everyone (and maybe find a man in a big ass truck to love...I'm kinda tired of being alone after almost 4 years...)
to quote Auntie Mame (who was not real so I guess I am either quoting Patrick Dennis or the writers of the play/movie):
I want to LIVE LIVE LIVE
LIFE IS A BANQUET AND MOST POOR SUCKERS ARE STARVING TO DEATH!!!
So plan to use this year as one where I live, laugh, learn and love...
and speaking of learning...
My cousin posted this quote from Neil Gaiman on his FB page and I am taking it to heart:
"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new... things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
― Neil Gaiman
that guy is pretty genius and my cousin is a pretty smart cookie too...
I lead a blessed and charmed life...I really have nothing to complain about...
I have amazing kids...
I own my own home...
I have a job I love and a boss I love...
I have incredible friends...
I have a wonderful community where I workout...
I am healthy...
I am happy...
and right now there is no one I would rather be than the me I am right now...
Inspiration Song: "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit. It was my favorite song of 2014 (just ahead of "this is how we do" by my girl Katy). I literally never tired of the song from spring until now...I still love it and listen to it every day...
I want to share the lyrics with you...because they are very inspirational...and it is truly how I feel most every day about my friends and you darlings that read this...
- We're a thousand miles from comfort,We have traveled land and seaBut as long as you are with me,There's no place I rather beI would wait forever,Exulted in the sceneAs long as I am with you,My heart continues to beat
- With every step we take,Kyoto to The BayStrolling so casuallyWe're different and the same,Gave you another nameSwitch up the batteries
- If you gave me a chance I would take itIt's a shot in the dark but I'll make itKnow with all of your heart, you can't shame meWhen I am with you, there's no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather be, oh oh
- We staked out on a missionTo find our inner peaceMake it everlastingSo nothing's incompleteIt's easy being with you,Sacred simplicityAs long as we're together,There's no place I'd rather be
- With every step we take,Kyoto to The BayStrolling so casuallyWe're different and the same,Gave you another nameSwitch up the batteries
- If you gave me a chance I would take itIt's a shot in the dark but I'll make itKnow with all of your heart, you can't shame meWhen I am with you, there's no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather be
- When I am with you, there's no place I rather beBe, ohBe, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, beYeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
- If you gave me a chance I would take itIt's a shot in the dark but I'll make itKnow with all of your heart, you can't shame meWhen I am with you, there's no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather beNo, no, no, no place I rather beWhen I am with you, there's no place I rather be
- Songwriters: MARSHALL, NICOLE / PATTERSON, JACK / CHATTO, GRACE / NAPES, JIMMY
- © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing GroupFor non-commercial use only.Data From: LyricFind
Bye Darlings...I hope there is no place you would rather be than where you are right now...
Monday, December 22, 2014
Where Are You Christmas?
Hello Darlings!
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!
My Christmas spirit is or was in full swing until recently...make that tonight...
The tree is up and decorated, I have little touches of décor here and there...
the stockings are hung by the chimney with care...
(oh no I am starting to sound like Dr. Seuss again with the rhyming...totally unintentional..)
I can't seem to find my desire to wrap gifts and one of these days those darn "wrap the packages" elves are going to show up here to Casa Bonita and wrap the gifts while I am sleeping...
I was even getting ready to write a blog called "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" (yes, it is a REAL song...I actually thought it was something that Craig Ferguson and the Late Late Show made up for Betty White but lo and behold it appeared on a list of Christmas on iTunes so it is a real song...who knew?)
But that will have to wait...
Because I need to vent...
a lot
like a lot a lot...
Two things to know before you read this and think "WOW she is under the influence"...
1) I have had exactly 2 ounces of wine...no more...and now am imbibing the powerful drug "Aand W 10 Root Beer" (diet and caffeine free root beer) and the wine is put well out of reach so I can't say I was drunk...
2) I had a proper amount of sleep last night, ate healthy meals, and did my spin class (so I don't stab people)...in other words I am well-rested, not "hangry" and got the endorphins going ("Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't just shoot their husbands...they just don't." Thank you Elle Woods and the knowledge gleaned from "Legally Blonde" one of my very favorite movies...)
So in other words I am of sound mind and not under the influence of anything other than a wicked spin session and a lot of sweat...
which I showered off...
so I am a clean, well-rested, well-fed endorphin fueled person...
But like I said...
I need to vent
and this blog is my therapy and once again you are along for the ride and I have no idea where this is going but I do know it will keep me from stabbing someone...
you poor people...
you have had to read a lot of therapy lately...
So why all the drama?
Because today I got fed up with the ex letting his GIRFRIEND'S schedule decide ours...
yup
I have been asking him for weeks to talk to me about Christmas and who gets the kids at what time...but he kept putting me off
Christmas Eve is the DAY AFTER TOMORROW
I got a little tired of not being able to know when I was feeding people...
Here's the deal...I will try and put this "background info" into one paragraph:
My parents were divorced and I hated like hell being shuttled about and since they lived in two different places it was an ordeal...it involved planes or hours upon hours in the car. I didn't want my kids to suffer feeling like they were in the middle of a tug-of-war so the ex and I agreed to just "share Christmas and make plans based on what is best for them and what is going on at that time". In other words we did not put into our divorce decree "the children shall be with their mother from 2:00 pm Christmas Eve until 11:00 am Christmas day blah blah blah blah blah...lots of legal jargon and more money to the attorneys so they could hash it out...". We were good with that.
Up until this year we have kept it free and easy and because I am the world's nicest ex-wife I have always cooked a big meal like we always had and have invited the ex to join us. And every year he has.
I did invite him this year...for the kids...not because I particularly wanted the man I divorced sitting at my dining room table at holiday time.
More background:
I ASKED FOR THE DIVORCE.
I hadn't been in love with him for years.
I never have wavered on my decision to divorce and never ever wanted him back.
I have never looked at him and thought "maybe we should try again" or "wow I gave that up"...
he's a nice man but I don't want him
I am NOT IN THE LEAST BIT JEALOUS of his girlfriend. She can have him. I am grateful for her presence in his life because she keeps him occupied and I get more of The Cutest Boy in the World. I like it that he seems less concerned with me and my doings because he is occupied...
I am a bit jealous that he has someone and I am alone but that has no part in my feelings about this...that is just a "I'm a better catch so why am I alone" feeling...because it would be nice to have someone to drink eggnog with and look at Christmas lights with while we drive through the neighborhood in his big ass truck...
But some day that big-ass truck driving man will come along...I'm so not worried about that right now...there is time for that down the line...I have a boy to raise...and spin classes to sweat in...and Pippin costumes to make and cats to cuddle...
So for weeks now I have said to him "we need to discuss Christmas" and for weeks now he has changed the subject or said "I don't know my plans yet".
In the past the kids have gone to lunch with him on Christmas Eve and have returned Christmas Eve evening to have our traditional tamales for dinner. Sometimes the ex has even stayed for that.
I usually have the kids Christmas morning and then their dad shows up early afternoon and we have a nice dinner and usually they go off with him or sometimes Kesha Barbie stays with me and TCBITW goes with his dad and they go to the ranch.
That is what has happened these last 3 Christmases...
But I have always asked their dad what he wants and how he wants to do it to be fair...and he knows Christmas Eve tamales are a biiiiig deal with me and that is one I won't back down on...
So I figured it would be the same this year...
but I couldn't pin him down...
and so tonight I told him "I will not let my schedule be dictated by a third party. I am feeding the kids their Christmas dinner on Christmas at some point. Please tell me when that will be"
his answer: "I dunno"
So I said: "fine...I am feeding my kids prime rib at 2. You are welcome to join us"
he said "well....I'm not sure..."
I cut him off and said "that is when we are eating...if you want them that morning before then I will send them to you after tamales"...
him: "well...."
Me: "just tell me tomorrow when you want them other than Christmas Eve dinner and 2:00 on Christmas day for their meal...if you MUST have them earlier and for lunch Christmas Day then do so and I will have dinner at 8:00 for us but for the love of God please just decide and let me know tomorrow..."
him: "ummmm...."
me: "my kids and I will have our meals...no third party is deciding that..." and then I said goodnight.
The kids have met the girlfriend.
I have no idea how serious things are but so far all I know is that they have met her. They say she is nice...
Glad to hear it..no seriously I am GLAD to hear it...I want nice people around my kids...
But until they are married I will not consider HER timing into when I plan to be with my kids.
It is HIS choice to hang with her...but my children should not be asked to spend holiday time with a woman they have met exactly once.
If they are going to be with a woman...
THAT WOMAN WILL BE ME
When they have a step-mother I will agree to share time based on all 3 of our schedules...because family time is important and if my children have step-siblings I am a big believer in being a WHOLE family...you know...all that Brady bunch stuff...
I will totally work with that...
because who knows...someday I may be a step-mother and I don't want the Cinderella Wicked Step-mother karma to come and bite me in the ass...
marriage is one thing...
dating is another...
and right now until the kids have spent a good deal more time with her and her family and she and the ex are indeed in a relationship that will lead to something permanent...
well then by golly I won't let HER visitation schedule affect MINE...
and right now that is where I am...the kids' dad won't help me plan because he isn't sure what is going on with her...
My kids aren't going to be bartered...they have a right to enjoy their holiday with both parents...
and I don't want trouble or bad feelings...
and I don't have bad feelings...
just frustration because the man won't make a decision
oh yeah---that was reason #12 why I divorced him...one of 1, 234, 467...."he is bad at making decisions"...
My children and I have ADD...we need things to be structured and laid out so we can function...I can be flexible and I can be very spontaneous...but for things like this I need to plan and know what is happening when...holidays and vacations must be that way...
he also was a grinch about the holidays and never really participated...no helping decorate and almost no shopping...
so I always made plans for us and we just rolled with it...
and that is what I have done this year...
I still want to give him choices and work around him...but I am not doing so being told at the last minute...I'm not waiting until Christmas Eve to decide what we are doing...I need more structure than that.
I don't want the holidays to stress my kids like it did me...I want it to be a joyous time for us...and I want them to spend time with their dad as well as me...
My kids are my life...they are my world...they are the reason I get up every morning...they are my oxygen...they are my purpose in life...
they are my everything...
I am a giving person...
I share...
I always have....
I am a big believer that they need parents who get along well and don't use them as weapons...
I will do everything in my power to make sure they never feel like a pawn in some game with me and their dad...
He is as important to them as I am
But they need structure and I need structure...it's an ADD thing...
and I need to know when I am pulling the prime rib out of the damn fridge....
I'm not asking for more time than he has...I am not asking for it to all be what I want...
I just need to know WHEN THE HELL THEY ARE WITH ME
Oh...and did I mention that he had the gall to ask me for half of my nice Christmas ornaments? The ones he made fun of when I purchased them...the ones that are gifts from friends...the ones I put up on the tree and removed myself...the ones he never touched or looked at...the ones I searched for and thoughtfully purchased on each vacation and carefully packed so they wouldn't break...so that I could remember each trip when I put them on the tree..
really?
um...
NO
3 years ago I gave him a set of ornaments that were ones I had purchased for the kids to "give" him or where ones from his boss...but that was it...the rest I shopped for or were given to me...
ok now I am really ranting...but I had to get that off my chest too...
Please know I am being as nice as I can about this...I haven't raised my voice to him or said anything bitchier than "I won't let my schedule be dictated by a third party".
I am still willing to give him choices in the timing...I do not ever want to have to make a formal agreement about this...our kids are pretty much adults (Kesha Barbie is 21 and TCBITW is almost 17) so nothing formal is needed...
but I just needed to know I wasn't crazy for asking for a schedule since it now we are just a day from Christmas Eve...
I needed to vent
I needed to rant
I needed time for the wrapping elves to show up (they didn't)
(and i love the irony of the fact that he won't figure out his timing but has spent the last hour comparing our children's PSAT scores and figuring out what the 5 questions our son missed were...priorities...)
ok...thanks for listening...
we now return you to your regularly scheduled Christmas joy and maybe tomorrow I will blog about why I want a hippo for Christmas (not really...please...no hippos...3 cats makes me a crazy cat lady...heaven knows what a hippo would make me...)
Inspiration Song: "Where Are You Christmas" from the film "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"...the Jim Carrey one...the one where little Cindy Lou Who played by Taylor Momsen sings the song...and that little girl grew up to have a kind of gnarly rock band...who knew?
Bye Darlings...I know where my Christmas is because I took a stand...and I want my kids to have their time with their dad too...but kids need structure and so do I...it's not just because of our ADD...it's because they are children and not pawns...no one is using them as pawns here but that is what I am trying to make sure never happens...so learn from me...be kind but set structure...
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!
My Christmas spirit is or was in full swing until recently...make that tonight...
The tree is up and decorated, I have little touches of décor here and there...
the stockings are hung by the chimney with care...
(oh no I am starting to sound like Dr. Seuss again with the rhyming...totally unintentional..)
I can't seem to find my desire to wrap gifts and one of these days those darn "wrap the packages" elves are going to show up here to Casa Bonita and wrap the gifts while I am sleeping...
I was even getting ready to write a blog called "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" (yes, it is a REAL song...I actually thought it was something that Craig Ferguson and the Late Late Show made up for Betty White but lo and behold it appeared on a list of Christmas on iTunes so it is a real song...who knew?)
But that will have to wait...
Because I need to vent...
a lot
like a lot a lot...
Two things to know before you read this and think "WOW she is under the influence"...
1) I have had exactly 2 ounces of wine...no more...and now am imbibing the powerful drug "Aand W 10 Root Beer" (diet and caffeine free root beer) and the wine is put well out of reach so I can't say I was drunk...
2) I had a proper amount of sleep last night, ate healthy meals, and did my spin class (so I don't stab people)...in other words I am well-rested, not "hangry" and got the endorphins going ("Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't just shoot their husbands...they just don't." Thank you Elle Woods and the knowledge gleaned from "Legally Blonde" one of my very favorite movies...)
So in other words I am of sound mind and not under the influence of anything other than a wicked spin session and a lot of sweat...
which I showered off...
so I am a clean, well-rested, well-fed endorphin fueled person...
But like I said...
I need to vent
and this blog is my therapy and once again you are along for the ride and I have no idea where this is going but I do know it will keep me from stabbing someone...
you poor people...
you have had to read a lot of therapy lately...
So why all the drama?
Because today I got fed up with the ex letting his GIRFRIEND'S schedule decide ours...
yup
I have been asking him for weeks to talk to me about Christmas and who gets the kids at what time...but he kept putting me off
Christmas Eve is the DAY AFTER TOMORROW
I got a little tired of not being able to know when I was feeding people...
Here's the deal...I will try and put this "background info" into one paragraph:
My parents were divorced and I hated like hell being shuttled about and since they lived in two different places it was an ordeal...it involved planes or hours upon hours in the car. I didn't want my kids to suffer feeling like they were in the middle of a tug-of-war so the ex and I agreed to just "share Christmas and make plans based on what is best for them and what is going on at that time". In other words we did not put into our divorce decree "the children shall be with their mother from 2:00 pm Christmas Eve until 11:00 am Christmas day blah blah blah blah blah...lots of legal jargon and more money to the attorneys so they could hash it out...". We were good with that.
Up until this year we have kept it free and easy and because I am the world's nicest ex-wife I have always cooked a big meal like we always had and have invited the ex to join us. And every year he has.
I did invite him this year...for the kids...not because I particularly wanted the man I divorced sitting at my dining room table at holiday time.
More background:
I ASKED FOR THE DIVORCE.
I hadn't been in love with him for years.
I never have wavered on my decision to divorce and never ever wanted him back.
I have never looked at him and thought "maybe we should try again" or "wow I gave that up"...
he's a nice man but I don't want him
I am NOT IN THE LEAST BIT JEALOUS of his girlfriend. She can have him. I am grateful for her presence in his life because she keeps him occupied and I get more of The Cutest Boy in the World. I like it that he seems less concerned with me and my doings because he is occupied...
I am a bit jealous that he has someone and I am alone but that has no part in my feelings about this...that is just a "I'm a better catch so why am I alone" feeling...because it would be nice to have someone to drink eggnog with and look at Christmas lights with while we drive through the neighborhood in his big ass truck...
But some day that big-ass truck driving man will come along...I'm so not worried about that right now...there is time for that down the line...I have a boy to raise...and spin classes to sweat in...and Pippin costumes to make and cats to cuddle...
So for weeks now I have said to him "we need to discuss Christmas" and for weeks now he has changed the subject or said "I don't know my plans yet".
In the past the kids have gone to lunch with him on Christmas Eve and have returned Christmas Eve evening to have our traditional tamales for dinner. Sometimes the ex has even stayed for that.
I usually have the kids Christmas morning and then their dad shows up early afternoon and we have a nice dinner and usually they go off with him or sometimes Kesha Barbie stays with me and TCBITW goes with his dad and they go to the ranch.
That is what has happened these last 3 Christmases...
But I have always asked their dad what he wants and how he wants to do it to be fair...and he knows Christmas Eve tamales are a biiiiig deal with me and that is one I won't back down on...
So I figured it would be the same this year...
but I couldn't pin him down...
and so tonight I told him "I will not let my schedule be dictated by a third party. I am feeding the kids their Christmas dinner on Christmas at some point. Please tell me when that will be"
his answer: "I dunno"
So I said: "fine...I am feeding my kids prime rib at 2. You are welcome to join us"
he said "well....I'm not sure..."
I cut him off and said "that is when we are eating...if you want them that morning before then I will send them to you after tamales"...
him: "well...."
Me: "just tell me tomorrow when you want them other than Christmas Eve dinner and 2:00 on Christmas day for their meal...if you MUST have them earlier and for lunch Christmas Day then do so and I will have dinner at 8:00 for us but for the love of God please just decide and let me know tomorrow..."
him: "ummmm...."
me: "my kids and I will have our meals...no third party is deciding that..." and then I said goodnight.
The kids have met the girlfriend.
I have no idea how serious things are but so far all I know is that they have met her. They say she is nice...
Glad to hear it..no seriously I am GLAD to hear it...I want nice people around my kids...
But until they are married I will not consider HER timing into when I plan to be with my kids.
It is HIS choice to hang with her...but my children should not be asked to spend holiday time with a woman they have met exactly once.
If they are going to be with a woman...
THAT WOMAN WILL BE ME
When they have a step-mother I will agree to share time based on all 3 of our schedules...because family time is important and if my children have step-siblings I am a big believer in being a WHOLE family...you know...all that Brady bunch stuff...
I will totally work with that...
because who knows...someday I may be a step-mother and I don't want the Cinderella Wicked Step-mother karma to come and bite me in the ass...
marriage is one thing...
dating is another...
and right now until the kids have spent a good deal more time with her and her family and she and the ex are indeed in a relationship that will lead to something permanent...
well then by golly I won't let HER visitation schedule affect MINE...
and right now that is where I am...the kids' dad won't help me plan because he isn't sure what is going on with her...
My kids aren't going to be bartered...they have a right to enjoy their holiday with both parents...
and I don't want trouble or bad feelings...
and I don't have bad feelings...
just frustration because the man won't make a decision
oh yeah---that was reason #12 why I divorced him...one of 1, 234, 467...."he is bad at making decisions"...
My children and I have ADD...we need things to be structured and laid out so we can function...I can be flexible and I can be very spontaneous...but for things like this I need to plan and know what is happening when...holidays and vacations must be that way...
he also was a grinch about the holidays and never really participated...no helping decorate and almost no shopping...
so I always made plans for us and we just rolled with it...
and that is what I have done this year...
I still want to give him choices and work around him...but I am not doing so being told at the last minute...I'm not waiting until Christmas Eve to decide what we are doing...I need more structure than that.
I don't want the holidays to stress my kids like it did me...I want it to be a joyous time for us...and I want them to spend time with their dad as well as me...
My kids are my life...they are my world...they are the reason I get up every morning...they are my oxygen...they are my purpose in life...
they are my everything...
I am a giving person...
I share...
I always have....
I am a big believer that they need parents who get along well and don't use them as weapons...
I will do everything in my power to make sure they never feel like a pawn in some game with me and their dad...
He is as important to them as I am
But they need structure and I need structure...it's an ADD thing...
and I need to know when I am pulling the prime rib out of the damn fridge....
I'm not asking for more time than he has...I am not asking for it to all be what I want...
I just need to know WHEN THE HELL THEY ARE WITH ME
Oh...and did I mention that he had the gall to ask me for half of my nice Christmas ornaments? The ones he made fun of when I purchased them...the ones that are gifts from friends...the ones I put up on the tree and removed myself...the ones he never touched or looked at...the ones I searched for and thoughtfully purchased on each vacation and carefully packed so they wouldn't break...so that I could remember each trip when I put them on the tree..
really?
um...
NO
3 years ago I gave him a set of ornaments that were ones I had purchased for the kids to "give" him or where ones from his boss...but that was it...the rest I shopped for or were given to me...
ok now I am really ranting...but I had to get that off my chest too...
Please know I am being as nice as I can about this...I haven't raised my voice to him or said anything bitchier than "I won't let my schedule be dictated by a third party".
I am still willing to give him choices in the timing...I do not ever want to have to make a formal agreement about this...our kids are pretty much adults (Kesha Barbie is 21 and TCBITW is almost 17) so nothing formal is needed...
but I just needed to know I wasn't crazy for asking for a schedule since it now we are just a day from Christmas Eve...
I needed to vent
I needed to rant
I needed time for the wrapping elves to show up (they didn't)
(and i love the irony of the fact that he won't figure out his timing but has spent the last hour comparing our children's PSAT scores and figuring out what the 5 questions our son missed were...priorities...)
ok...thanks for listening...
we now return you to your regularly scheduled Christmas joy and maybe tomorrow I will blog about why I want a hippo for Christmas (not really...please...no hippos...3 cats makes me a crazy cat lady...heaven knows what a hippo would make me...)
Inspiration Song: "Where Are You Christmas" from the film "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"...the Jim Carrey one...the one where little Cindy Lou Who played by Taylor Momsen sings the song...and that little girl grew up to have a kind of gnarly rock band...who knew?
Bye Darlings...I know where my Christmas is because I took a stand...and I want my kids to have their time with their dad too...but kids need structure and so do I...it's not just because of our ADD...it's because they are children and not pawns...no one is using them as pawns here but that is what I am trying to make sure never happens...so learn from me...be kind but set structure...
Sunday, December 7, 2014
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
Hi Darling!
So Thanksgiving is so over and done...
Are you joining me in my Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution?
I'm trying my best to keep to it...I actually am doing better with it than if it was a New Year's Resolution...
I'm bound and determined not to regret the holidays this year...well not the holidays but every single morsel I put into my mouth and the laziness that follows...
So far no egg nog has entered Casa Bonita...
yet...
But also so far there is no décor in Casa Bonita...
that is because all my decorations are locked in storage at the movers...I'm hoping that by tomorrow they will have located all the stuff that is in the vault (a huge wooden box they keep it in) and will call me to tell me to come and get it...
The only decorations I have with me right now are two small pre-lit trees that are on either side of my fireplace...and for some reason Dragon is terrified of them---but only when they are turned on...
I want to have a whole "Griswold Light Show" outside but thus far I have been unable to locate C-9 lights anywhere...I have the clips, I have had the yard man cut back the bushes...I even have someone who will put them up for me...
but no lights
I think I am going to have to order some online...maybe I can get them up by December 24...
Decorating for Christmas has always been an ordeal for me...
when I was first married I didn't realize I had married the Grinch...the ex never ever wanted to help me with decorating...he could have cared less about it all
so he didn't help at all...
it was like pulling teeth to get him to even carry a tree in...I think he helped pick one out...
once...
After years of suffering sinus infections and feeling awful during the holidays I discovered that I am allergic to Christmas trees...between the pollen and the microscopic mold that grows on them my allergies kick in to high gear and I am sick from the day the tree comes in until it dies...
My allergist told me to "wash" the tree...
yes...
wash the tree...
I tried it once and it was a colossal pain in the you-know-what...
And after years of having no help with the live tree and getting the ex to help me get the tree out (and no not even once did he ever put an ornament on or take one off) I gave up and decided I needed a faux tree if I was going to survive...and not have a dead tree in the living room for the month of January...
Had I known I was marrying someone who would never ever help me with decorating for Christmas I might have saved myself a lot of aggravation...
The problem wasn't just that he wouldn't help...
it was that I kept expecting him to change and decide one year that he would help....
So it really wasn't his fault...he was as he was and he wasn't changing...
I was just frustrated that he wasn't changing...and I was wrong to expect it..
(so let's just add "wants to help decorate for Christmas" to my "this is what I want in a man" list along with dimples, blue eyes, looks a bit like Steve McQueen and drives a truck...yeah, that'll do...)
My ex-husband's mother had atrocious taste...like it was so bad you almost thought she was being ironic with it...so his memories of Christmas décor are all tied up in aluminum trees and ornaments that were so awful that they weren't even fun in a "these are so ugly they are cool" way...
it was just bad
like "are we being punked" bad...
and his cousin, who I totally love and adore, is one of those women you might find on a tv show about crazy Christmas décor because literally every room in her house (and garage) has a tree in it and there is a theme to every room...and snow village houses in every room...and the most amazing humongous snow village set-up in the garage.
It is jaw-dropping
When she and her girlfriend were building the house they put in extra plugs for the Christmas décor and built a storage room for it all.
They even have a village in their bathroom...they cover the tub with plywood and put a village in there...and a gorgeous Victorian themed tree in their bedroom
not kidding
it's awesome...and I miss going to their house at Christmas and admiring it all...
I came from a family that had every room perfectly decorated (I think my mom had decorators help when I was young) and it was all perfectly coordinated and gorgeous...and the whole house always had lights on outside...perfectly outlining the roof...
my mother often hosted Holiday teas when I was young and so the house was perfectly done...
my mom had fairly flawless taste and she made a lot of wreaths and could get her entire house decorated in a matter of hours...
One year she moved into a new house in early-mid December and discovered her tree wouldn't fit and had accidently stored some of her décor
so she went out and bought a new tree and had the house completely ready for Christmas 3 days after moving in
not kidding...
So when I became an adult and got married and had my own house I wanted to be like my mom...
I wanted lights on the outside...and because I am afraid of heights I knew I would never get them on the roof...and the ex was having nothing to do with it nor would he let me pay someone to do it.
So I found lights I could put into stakes and line the driveway...
except we didn't have power out there at the time...
sigh...
I continued to decorate for my own pleasure and then when the kids came I decorated to add to their joy of the holiday...
and for a few years I got some help out of the kids but for the most part they would stick on a few ornaments and get quickly bored.
A couple of years ago The Cutest Boy in the World had a darling little girlfriend. She was adorable and she was Jewish.
She had never decorated a Christmas tree...
So with her parent's blessing she, and her sweet mama, came over and she and her mom helped me put some ornaments on the tree.
She had a great time and it was fun sharing a tradition with someone who had not experienced it before....and when my son broke up with her I think I was as heartbroken as she was...
When my mother passed away all the joy of the holidays left me...
I couldn't face decorating at all...and putting out the decorations I had gotten from her was more than I could bear...
So we went to Disneyworld and enjoyed their décor...
This went on for a couple of years...the only décor I put out was the stockings...that was it...
Weirdly the kids didn't care and the ex was relieved I wasn't whining about him not helping me...
and he was overjoyed that the 400 (ok not 400 but it seemed like it) little lit porcelain houses were not having to be on display and me spending all my time setting up perfect Snow Villages...
But once we split up I decided that I was going to find my joy again and since I had always done it alone I could handle it myself...
So I bought a new tree and decorated to my hearts content...
and the year I had my surgery the day after Xmas my housekeeper gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another...
SHE PUT AWAY ALL MY CHRISTMAS STUFF FOR ME
yes, I wept with joy at that one...
I have great memories of holiday decorating during my childhood.
It was always a big deal when we got to drive to Corpus Christi and go pick out a huge tree for the house. My dad almost never came with us because he loved waiting in the driveway to "receive" the tree and tell us what a great job we did picking it out...
he was only unhappy with our choice one year because we desperately wanted a flocked tree and he hated them...
I think I remember my mom going back for a green one...
My dad loved decorating the tree...
and each and every year he would break at least one ornament
My mom had purchased some ornaments back in the 60's that were apparently outrageously expensive (in my father's eyes) and quite delicate...
mind you these were not Radko's...and as I recall there were about 2 dozen of them and they were hideous (or at least I remember them as hideous but at the time they may have been pretty)
They were class oblong shaped with gold tinsel twisted inside of them
and every single year my dad dropped one and it would break
every.single.year.
I think he did it on purpose
When my parents divorced and we moved to Houston my mom didn't put out some of the ornaments like that for many years...I think it made her sad...
But when I came home from college one year I found a box of ornaments we hadn't touched in years and brought it out....
we had a great time reminiscing about the ornaments in the box and we put them on the tree...including the one surviving ornament of the ones my dad broke...
the year he died (1984) we were heartbroken to open the box and find some of the ornaments were broken
and smashed, in the bottom of the box, was the last of the gold tinsel ornaments he hated so much
I think Daddy had the last laugh
I burst into tears and then started to laugh so much I think I actually pee'd myself...
it was like a sweet little message from him letting us know he was still with us...
and he still hated those ornaments...
I don't have but one ornament that I put on the tree left over from my childhood...
it is a "sputnik"
(and for those of you too young to understand it is an ornament that is basically a small center ball with beaded pins sticking out from it...so it looked like the Russian space satellite)
I made it along with my friends Merry Mary Lee and Joyful Janet...Joyful Janet's mom helped us make them and we had such fun doing them
And I hope Merry Mary Lee and Joyful Janet still have theirs...because I always think of them when I see mine...
I used to do a tree entirely done with purple ornaments (because it is my favorite color)...it was obnoxious...
it was in my living room and it looked like drag queens and showgirls had a brawl and the tree was the result of that fight...
it sparkled
My tree in my den was always ornaments I had collected on our travels and gifts from friends...
this year I am going to combine the drag queen purple with the Radko and travel explosion and see how it turns out...
if the movers can locate my stuff...
It's fun having a new place to decorate...and Dragon is more than ready to climb all over the greenery and décor...
It needs to look a little more like Christmas here in Casa Bonita...I want to remember the joy I had with my parents and even though they aren't here to celebrate the holidays with me I have the memories of those times from my past and I know that they are sending me their love from heaven
and I just now purchased 4 vintage ornaments on eBay...they aren't EXACTLY like the ones my Daddy broke but they are as close to them as possible...
because I don't want it to just look like Christmas here...I want it to look like my childhood too so I can have my Mom and Daddy with me this year and always....
Inspiration Song: "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" written by Meredith Wilson (yes I found a way to sneak musical theater in---he wrote "The Music Man"). Various artists have recorded it and my favorites are Bing Crosby, Perry Como and Michael Buble's versions...because I am hoping that by writing this I will be inspired to get my decorating done ASAP...
Bye Darlings...is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas at your house? It's snuck up on me this year and before we know it, it will be here...and so will Hanukkah...so may this season bring you blessings and the delights of childhood...and only one broken ornament or two...
So Thanksgiving is so over and done...
Are you joining me in my Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution?
I'm trying my best to keep to it...I actually am doing better with it than if it was a New Year's Resolution...
I'm bound and determined not to regret the holidays this year...well not the holidays but every single morsel I put into my mouth and the laziness that follows...
So far no egg nog has entered Casa Bonita...
yet...
But also so far there is no décor in Casa Bonita...
that is because all my decorations are locked in storage at the movers...I'm hoping that by tomorrow they will have located all the stuff that is in the vault (a huge wooden box they keep it in) and will call me to tell me to come and get it...
The only decorations I have with me right now are two small pre-lit trees that are on either side of my fireplace...and for some reason Dragon is terrified of them---but only when they are turned on...
I want to have a whole "Griswold Light Show" outside but thus far I have been unable to locate C-9 lights anywhere...I have the clips, I have had the yard man cut back the bushes...I even have someone who will put them up for me...
but no lights
I think I am going to have to order some online...maybe I can get them up by December 24...
Decorating for Christmas has always been an ordeal for me...
when I was first married I didn't realize I had married the Grinch...the ex never ever wanted to help me with decorating...he could have cared less about it all
so he didn't help at all...
it was like pulling teeth to get him to even carry a tree in...I think he helped pick one out...
once...
After years of suffering sinus infections and feeling awful during the holidays I discovered that I am allergic to Christmas trees...between the pollen and the microscopic mold that grows on them my allergies kick in to high gear and I am sick from the day the tree comes in until it dies...
My allergist told me to "wash" the tree...
yes...
wash the tree...
I tried it once and it was a colossal pain in the you-know-what...
And after years of having no help with the live tree and getting the ex to help me get the tree out (and no not even once did he ever put an ornament on or take one off) I gave up and decided I needed a faux tree if I was going to survive...and not have a dead tree in the living room for the month of January...
Had I known I was marrying someone who would never ever help me with decorating for Christmas I might have saved myself a lot of aggravation...
The problem wasn't just that he wouldn't help...
it was that I kept expecting him to change and decide one year that he would help....
So it really wasn't his fault...he was as he was and he wasn't changing...
I was just frustrated that he wasn't changing...and I was wrong to expect it..
(so let's just add "wants to help decorate for Christmas" to my "this is what I want in a man" list along with dimples, blue eyes, looks a bit like Steve McQueen and drives a truck...yeah, that'll do...)
My ex-husband's mother had atrocious taste...like it was so bad you almost thought she was being ironic with it...so his memories of Christmas décor are all tied up in aluminum trees and ornaments that were so awful that they weren't even fun in a "these are so ugly they are cool" way...
it was just bad
like "are we being punked" bad...
and his cousin, who I totally love and adore, is one of those women you might find on a tv show about crazy Christmas décor because literally every room in her house (and garage) has a tree in it and there is a theme to every room...and snow village houses in every room...and the most amazing humongous snow village set-up in the garage.
It is jaw-dropping
When she and her girlfriend were building the house they put in extra plugs for the Christmas décor and built a storage room for it all.
They even have a village in their bathroom...they cover the tub with plywood and put a village in there...and a gorgeous Victorian themed tree in their bedroom
not kidding
it's awesome...and I miss going to their house at Christmas and admiring it all...
I came from a family that had every room perfectly decorated (I think my mom had decorators help when I was young) and it was all perfectly coordinated and gorgeous...and the whole house always had lights on outside...perfectly outlining the roof...
my mother often hosted Holiday teas when I was young and so the house was perfectly done...
my mom had fairly flawless taste and she made a lot of wreaths and could get her entire house decorated in a matter of hours...
One year she moved into a new house in early-mid December and discovered her tree wouldn't fit and had accidently stored some of her décor
so she went out and bought a new tree and had the house completely ready for Christmas 3 days after moving in
not kidding...
So when I became an adult and got married and had my own house I wanted to be like my mom...
I wanted lights on the outside...and because I am afraid of heights I knew I would never get them on the roof...and the ex was having nothing to do with it nor would he let me pay someone to do it.
So I found lights I could put into stakes and line the driveway...
except we didn't have power out there at the time...
sigh...
I continued to decorate for my own pleasure and then when the kids came I decorated to add to their joy of the holiday...
and for a few years I got some help out of the kids but for the most part they would stick on a few ornaments and get quickly bored.
A couple of years ago The Cutest Boy in the World had a darling little girlfriend. She was adorable and she was Jewish.
She had never decorated a Christmas tree...
So with her parent's blessing she, and her sweet mama, came over and she and her mom helped me put some ornaments on the tree.
She had a great time and it was fun sharing a tradition with someone who had not experienced it before....and when my son broke up with her I think I was as heartbroken as she was...
When my mother passed away all the joy of the holidays left me...
I couldn't face decorating at all...and putting out the decorations I had gotten from her was more than I could bear...
So we went to Disneyworld and enjoyed their décor...
This went on for a couple of years...the only décor I put out was the stockings...that was it...
Weirdly the kids didn't care and the ex was relieved I wasn't whining about him not helping me...
and he was overjoyed that the 400 (ok not 400 but it seemed like it) little lit porcelain houses were not having to be on display and me spending all my time setting up perfect Snow Villages...
But once we split up I decided that I was going to find my joy again and since I had always done it alone I could handle it myself...
So I bought a new tree and decorated to my hearts content...
and the year I had my surgery the day after Xmas my housekeeper gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another...
SHE PUT AWAY ALL MY CHRISTMAS STUFF FOR ME
yes, I wept with joy at that one...
I have great memories of holiday decorating during my childhood.
It was always a big deal when we got to drive to Corpus Christi and go pick out a huge tree for the house. My dad almost never came with us because he loved waiting in the driveway to "receive" the tree and tell us what a great job we did picking it out...
he was only unhappy with our choice one year because we desperately wanted a flocked tree and he hated them...
I think I remember my mom going back for a green one...
My dad loved decorating the tree...
and each and every year he would break at least one ornament
My mom had purchased some ornaments back in the 60's that were apparently outrageously expensive (in my father's eyes) and quite delicate...
mind you these were not Radko's...and as I recall there were about 2 dozen of them and they were hideous (or at least I remember them as hideous but at the time they may have been pretty)
They were class oblong shaped with gold tinsel twisted inside of them
and every single year my dad dropped one and it would break
every.single.year.
I think he did it on purpose
When my parents divorced and we moved to Houston my mom didn't put out some of the ornaments like that for many years...I think it made her sad...
But when I came home from college one year I found a box of ornaments we hadn't touched in years and brought it out....
we had a great time reminiscing about the ornaments in the box and we put them on the tree...including the one surviving ornament of the ones my dad broke...
the year he died (1984) we were heartbroken to open the box and find some of the ornaments were broken
and smashed, in the bottom of the box, was the last of the gold tinsel ornaments he hated so much
I think Daddy had the last laugh
I burst into tears and then started to laugh so much I think I actually pee'd myself...
it was like a sweet little message from him letting us know he was still with us...
and he still hated those ornaments...
I don't have but one ornament that I put on the tree left over from my childhood...
it is a "sputnik"
(and for those of you too young to understand it is an ornament that is basically a small center ball with beaded pins sticking out from it...so it looked like the Russian space satellite)
I made it along with my friends Merry Mary Lee and Joyful Janet...Joyful Janet's mom helped us make them and we had such fun doing them
And I hope Merry Mary Lee and Joyful Janet still have theirs...because I always think of them when I see mine...
I used to do a tree entirely done with purple ornaments (because it is my favorite color)...it was obnoxious...
it was in my living room and it looked like drag queens and showgirls had a brawl and the tree was the result of that fight...
it sparkled
My tree in my den was always ornaments I had collected on our travels and gifts from friends...
this year I am going to combine the drag queen purple with the Radko and travel explosion and see how it turns out...
if the movers can locate my stuff...
It's fun having a new place to decorate...and Dragon is more than ready to climb all over the greenery and décor...
It needs to look a little more like Christmas here in Casa Bonita...I want to remember the joy I had with my parents and even though they aren't here to celebrate the holidays with me I have the memories of those times from my past and I know that they are sending me their love from heaven
and I just now purchased 4 vintage ornaments on eBay...they aren't EXACTLY like the ones my Daddy broke but they are as close to them as possible...
because I don't want it to just look like Christmas here...I want it to look like my childhood too so I can have my Mom and Daddy with me this year and always....
Inspiration Song: "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" written by Meredith Wilson (yes I found a way to sneak musical theater in---he wrote "The Music Man"). Various artists have recorded it and my favorites are Bing Crosby, Perry Como and Michael Buble's versions...because I am hoping that by writing this I will be inspired to get my decorating done ASAP...
Bye Darlings...is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas at your house? It's snuck up on me this year and before we know it, it will be here...and so will Hanukkah...so may this season bring you blessings and the delights of childhood...and only one broken ornament or two...
Monday, December 1, 2014
Revolution
Hello Darlings...
So you all know (because I endlessly blog of my love for it) that I spin at a place called Revolution Studios and that I love it, the instructors, the team there and the classes so very much...
So I was inspired by what I am getting at Rev to write this particular blog to inspire you...
I had a little thought on the bike the other day when I was taking the Post-Turkey Day class...and we were all working hard to work off our pie...which was not pie in my case but wine...
and before I get into just what my epiphany on the bike was I have to whine a bit about why I needed wine...
I had a little bit...ok maybe close to a bottle...that day thanks to the ex.
Being the world's nicest ex-wife I had invited him over for Thanksgiving Dinner...not because I wanted him there but because I did not want my son to have to make a choice about where he had his turkey...
but my son didn't want turkey so we had prime rib...
so I didn't want him to have to choose where he had his...prime rib...
I got home from spin (had to pay it forward for the meal I was going to indulge in and Marvelous Mel was just the ticket for that) and started to work on the late lunch we had planned and I opened up an excellent bottle of Orin Swift Abstract...
yummy...
and here I am with this giant Fred Flinstone sized prime rib and I am getting the Yorkshire pudding together and I get a text...
from the ex
because he got a better offer....
woooooooo hoooooooo
I poured myself a second glass of wine...
not because I was mad...
oh hell no...I was dancing around the kitchen...
I think I did the running man and maybe even a cabbage patch or two...
and yes "The Carlton" definitely happened...
so once I was done dancing in the kitchen (which by the way is a great disco and has a crystal chandelier over the kitchen island...but sadly not a mirror ball) I got back to cooking and was a happy girl the rest of the day...
my ex is a nice man...I just was happy I had my son all to myself and more leftovers...
So on Friday when I was at spin class and we were all working off the damage from the day before I was reminded of how the holidays tend to kill us all...because Jen the Awesome was literally killing me and I was regretting my choices from the day before...
So I am there spinning and sweating and regretting the Yorkshire pudding I made and ate and I thought about what was ahead of us all during the holidays:
parties...
"gifts" of food...like the annual popcorn bucket someone sends you or the cookies from the neighbor
wine
wine
wine (or is that just me?)
holiday cooking
more parties
more holiday crap
CANDY and sweets we feel we should have because it is the Holidays...
you know what I am talking about....
And on January 2 we wake up (because we are too hung over on January 1 to think like this) and say:
I AM GOING ON A DIET AND I AM GOING TO IMPROVE MY FITNESS AND LIKE RUN A MARATHON OR SOMETHING THIS YEAR...I'M TOTALLY GOING IRONMAN THIS YEAR...AND THERE WILL BE YOGA....YES I WILL TAKE UP YOGA...AND PILATES...WHATEVER THE HELL PILATES IS...AND I'M GOING TO LOSE 10 LBS IN A WEEK AND BE TOTALLY LEAN AND FITTER THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS 20 AND I WILL ROCK A BIKINI THIS YEAR AND I AM ONLY GOING TO EAT HEALTHY GOOD FOOD...LIKE FROM WHOLE FOODS...JUST ORGANIC AND PERFECT STUFF...YES YES I WILL EAT LIKE THAT AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE WHATABURGER BUT THERE WILL BE PILATES...WHATEVER THE HELL PILATES IS...
yes, that is the resolution we all make...
been there done that like...well I am 50 so you do the math and deduct the years I didn't know what a resolution was...because we all know I can't do math...
and we all break it by...
January 3
So I had this little revolution about resolutions...
what if...
and bear with me here....
and don't send hate mail
and don't ask my daughter to sign my commitment papers (because she is now 21) because I have gone off the deep end...
but...
instead of throwing in the towel during the holiday...
what if:
we tried and PREVENT that holiday crash and burn and found ourselves giving a little more to our fitness and a little less to trips to the buffet
what if we paid it forward?
what if we made the resolution not a New Year's Resolution but a....
THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION
in thanksgiving for the fact we are alive and healthy and do not need to slack off and just eat sand tarts and drink cocoa...
ok so go ahead and eat sand tarts and drink cocoa but maybe throw in an extra Crossfit class or two...
I'm going to try something new...try adding something to the mix to keep me going...
I'm trying yoga
ok stop laughing all of those who know me and know that I am sooooo not that quiet girl that can fold herself into a downward dog
whatever downward dog is...
and yes I still hear you laughing people...
go ahead because I am too...
but my friend Amazing Anna has this company that basically does this sort of a pop up yoga happening and I am going to try it and my friend MagicMike has promised he will be next to me to keep me going (or at least laughing)...he's MagicMike for a reason...
she's says there will be wine afterwards...
ok that right there is enough to make me go...
and apparently there is a DJ...and you know me and some good music...
I wonder if he plays Katy Perry? Can you do yoga poses to "This is How We Do"?
probably not...but I bet there is no Enya either...
This is like party yoga and not scary yoga...
I can do that!
(and if you want to join me in this little adventure go to the Facebook page "We Play Everywhere" and "like" it...that way you will see when events are...)
I'm trying to expose myself to new things but I have to bear in mind that although my body is only 50 my knees act like they are 70...so I won't be doing any crossfit anytime soon and kickboxing is completely out of the question even though MarvelousMargaret would love me to join her in kicking and hurting people...she's a nice lady but she really really likes to kick and hurt people and do dangerous things...
And as for Zumba...I might dance in my kitchen but I'm keeping my boogying to the bike (I can twerk with the best of them when the lights are off) but there are too many turns and moves for my poor old knees...
And Rev has added a Friday Night Lights class with my sweet MagicMike as DJ/Spin tormentor and I plan to take in a few of those...might just do a double duty with Jen the Awesome in the morning and go back and hit it again with MagicMike at night...I don't have any Friday night dates so I might as well clip in and rock out...and at least I KNOW I will be doing something fun if I do that...
I also met Jason Wimberly (celebrity trainer and brand ambassador for Rev) and I am totally in love with him and his high energy workouts. I call him my Glitter Man. He has DVD's for sale on his website (warning: his abs might make you want to shoot yourself) so if you are one of those people who don't have time to get someplace for a workout, order one...
http://wimberlean.com/
And if you already belong to a gym why not use this Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution time to check out something new...challenge yourself to try a group exercise class or try a class with a different instructor...
But I totally urge all of you to give any and all of these activities a try...
who knows you might discover an activity you really love...
The problem is...
and maybe this is just me...
so many of us start the holiday season off with this giant meal full of delicious fattening food...and then we go into a food coma...and then we spend the rest of the weekend eating leftovers and remaining in a food coma...
and then all the holiday parties start and we just keep going...
it all becomes a big "what the hell!"...
and weekend workouts get dropped in favor of sleeping in because of the party the night before (but Rev at Memorial City has a 10:30 class for us sleepyheads...)...
I know all of this because it is exactly what happens to me every year...and then I want to shoot myself on January 2...
So this year I have resolved that I will not gain any holiday weight but will in fact lose a pound or two (trying to be reasonable here) and keep myself fit...all while indulging in a sandtart or two but not the whole box...
If you want to hold yourself accountable there are Apps out there that will do that for you...
I joined an App called "Pact"...each week you pledge to do a certain number of workouts...if you make your "pact" (do all of your workouts) you get paid...not big bucks...but a few bucks...but if you don't you get CHARGED...you decide how much you will get charged and it gets tied into your paypal account. The hardest part is remembering to check in and out for each workout...I've earned a small bit of money (enough to buy a decent bottle of wine) and have not been charged anything..
It keeps me from slacking off...
you can get the App in the App Store...it's free...
So who's with me on this?
what...2 of you?
Seriously I want to hear from you...tell me how you are going to branch out and try something new and not let the holidays become the fall-off-the-wagon days and join me in my
THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION
If enough of you try this and follow through and let me know how it's going (you can PM me) I will...
POST A PHOTO OF ME DOING YOGA
that right there should be enough incentive for at least one of you to do this with me so you can laugh yourself silly at me trying to be a pretzel...
and I might even let Darling DK convince me that I don't hate Pilates...whatever Pilates is (actually I know what Pilates is...and I hated it...but I am willing to try again...)
And for those of you who want to join me at Rev (I'm calling out you DowntownJulieBrown!) this is a great time to do it...get yourself hooked while we normally would be quaffing wassail (ok I don't know what the hell wassail is) and eating sand tarts (I keep mentioning sand tarts because KuteKaren bakes them and they are worth every calorie so I am hoping to convince her to give me 4...).
My THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION is:
lose 1-2 lbs
at least 4 spin classes a week
try yoga
and maybe try pilates (Darling DK I need you!)
less sandtarts and more salmon...
my reward will be that I won't hate myself on January 2...
(but I might hate myself on January 1 if I let RoyBoy make me Fireballs again...)
So make this resolution with me...let's start a revolution...
or you can sit back and eat sand tarts and call me crazy...
either way it's all good...
I'm 50...I want to take care of this body so that maybe I can see 50 more years...and see my children turn 50 and if I can inspire JUST ONE OF YOU to try something new and not give up...
well...
I might just start a revolution...
Inspiration Song: "Revolution" by Diplo...you might have thought I meant the Beatles song (which is awesome and pretty perfect) but I am dedicating this song (first time I have done this) to KuteKim and my Revolution peeps and Amazing Anna who is starting her own revolution with yoga...because they started a revolution in me...and they are revolutionizing our community...
lyrics:
Read more: Diplo - Revolution Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Bye Darlings...be a part of my Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution...or eat sand tarts...or both! I can do both because I am going to not let the holidays kick me in the butt...I'm going to kick #holidaybinging in the butt...
So you all know (because I endlessly blog of my love for it) that I spin at a place called Revolution Studios and that I love it, the instructors, the team there and the classes so very much...
So I was inspired by what I am getting at Rev to write this particular blog to inspire you...
I had a little thought on the bike the other day when I was taking the Post-Turkey Day class...and we were all working hard to work off our pie...which was not pie in my case but wine...
and before I get into just what my epiphany on the bike was I have to whine a bit about why I needed wine...
I had a little bit...ok maybe close to a bottle...that day thanks to the ex.
Being the world's nicest ex-wife I had invited him over for Thanksgiving Dinner...not because I wanted him there but because I did not want my son to have to make a choice about where he had his turkey...
but my son didn't want turkey so we had prime rib...
so I didn't want him to have to choose where he had his...prime rib...
I got home from spin (had to pay it forward for the meal I was going to indulge in and Marvelous Mel was just the ticket for that) and started to work on the late lunch we had planned and I opened up an excellent bottle of Orin Swift Abstract...
yummy...
and here I am with this giant Fred Flinstone sized prime rib and I am getting the Yorkshire pudding together and I get a text...
from the ex
because he got a better offer....
woooooooo hoooooooo
I poured myself a second glass of wine...
not because I was mad...
oh hell no...I was dancing around the kitchen...
I think I did the running man and maybe even a cabbage patch or two...
and yes "The Carlton" definitely happened...
so once I was done dancing in the kitchen (which by the way is a great disco and has a crystal chandelier over the kitchen island...but sadly not a mirror ball) I got back to cooking and was a happy girl the rest of the day...
my ex is a nice man...I just was happy I had my son all to myself and more leftovers...
So on Friday when I was at spin class and we were all working off the damage from the day before I was reminded of how the holidays tend to kill us all...because Jen the Awesome was literally killing me and I was regretting my choices from the day before...
So I am there spinning and sweating and regretting the Yorkshire pudding I made and ate and I thought about what was ahead of us all during the holidays:
parties...
"gifts" of food...like the annual popcorn bucket someone sends you or the cookies from the neighbor
wine
wine
wine (or is that just me?)
holiday cooking
more parties
more holiday crap
CANDY and sweets we feel we should have because it is the Holidays...
you know what I am talking about....
And on January 2 we wake up (because we are too hung over on January 1 to think like this) and say:
I AM GOING ON A DIET AND I AM GOING TO IMPROVE MY FITNESS AND LIKE RUN A MARATHON OR SOMETHING THIS YEAR...I'M TOTALLY GOING IRONMAN THIS YEAR...AND THERE WILL BE YOGA....YES I WILL TAKE UP YOGA...AND PILATES...WHATEVER THE HELL PILATES IS...AND I'M GOING TO LOSE 10 LBS IN A WEEK AND BE TOTALLY LEAN AND FITTER THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS 20 AND I WILL ROCK A BIKINI THIS YEAR AND I AM ONLY GOING TO EAT HEALTHY GOOD FOOD...LIKE FROM WHOLE FOODS...JUST ORGANIC AND PERFECT STUFF...YES YES I WILL EAT LIKE THAT AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE WHATABURGER BUT THERE WILL BE PILATES...WHATEVER THE HELL PILATES IS...
yes, that is the resolution we all make...
been there done that like...well I am 50 so you do the math and deduct the years I didn't know what a resolution was...because we all know I can't do math...
and we all break it by...
January 3
So I had this little revolution about resolutions...
what if...
and bear with me here....
and don't send hate mail
and don't ask my daughter to sign my commitment papers (because she is now 21) because I have gone off the deep end...
but...
instead of throwing in the towel during the holiday...
what if:
we tried and PREVENT that holiday crash and burn and found ourselves giving a little more to our fitness and a little less to trips to the buffet
what if we paid it forward?
what if we made the resolution not a New Year's Resolution but a....
THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION
in thanksgiving for the fact we are alive and healthy and do not need to slack off and just eat sand tarts and drink cocoa...
ok so go ahead and eat sand tarts and drink cocoa but maybe throw in an extra Crossfit class or two...
I'm going to try something new...try adding something to the mix to keep me going...
I'm trying yoga
ok stop laughing all of those who know me and know that I am sooooo not that quiet girl that can fold herself into a downward dog
whatever downward dog is...
and yes I still hear you laughing people...
go ahead because I am too...
but my friend Amazing Anna has this company that basically does this sort of a pop up yoga happening and I am going to try it and my friend MagicMike has promised he will be next to me to keep me going (or at least laughing)...he's MagicMike for a reason...
she's says there will be wine afterwards...
ok that right there is enough to make me go...
and apparently there is a DJ...and you know me and some good music...
I wonder if he plays Katy Perry? Can you do yoga poses to "This is How We Do"?
probably not...but I bet there is no Enya either...
This is like party yoga and not scary yoga...
I can do that!
(and if you want to join me in this little adventure go to the Facebook page "We Play Everywhere" and "like" it...that way you will see when events are...)
I'm trying to expose myself to new things but I have to bear in mind that although my body is only 50 my knees act like they are 70...so I won't be doing any crossfit anytime soon and kickboxing is completely out of the question even though MarvelousMargaret would love me to join her in kicking and hurting people...she's a nice lady but she really really likes to kick and hurt people and do dangerous things...
And as for Zumba...I might dance in my kitchen but I'm keeping my boogying to the bike (I can twerk with the best of them when the lights are off) but there are too many turns and moves for my poor old knees...
And Rev has added a Friday Night Lights class with my sweet MagicMike as DJ/Spin tormentor and I plan to take in a few of those...might just do a double duty with Jen the Awesome in the morning and go back and hit it again with MagicMike at night...I don't have any Friday night dates so I might as well clip in and rock out...and at least I KNOW I will be doing something fun if I do that...
I also met Jason Wimberly (celebrity trainer and brand ambassador for Rev) and I am totally in love with him and his high energy workouts. I call him my Glitter Man. He has DVD's for sale on his website (warning: his abs might make you want to shoot yourself) so if you are one of those people who don't have time to get someplace for a workout, order one...
http://wimberlean.com/
And if you already belong to a gym why not use this Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution time to check out something new...challenge yourself to try a group exercise class or try a class with a different instructor...
But I totally urge all of you to give any and all of these activities a try...
who knows you might discover an activity you really love...
The problem is...
and maybe this is just me...
so many of us start the holiday season off with this giant meal full of delicious fattening food...and then we go into a food coma...and then we spend the rest of the weekend eating leftovers and remaining in a food coma...
and then all the holiday parties start and we just keep going...
it all becomes a big "what the hell!"...
and weekend workouts get dropped in favor of sleeping in because of the party the night before (but Rev at Memorial City has a 10:30 class for us sleepyheads...)...
I know all of this because it is exactly what happens to me every year...and then I want to shoot myself on January 2...
So this year I have resolved that I will not gain any holiday weight but will in fact lose a pound or two (trying to be reasonable here) and keep myself fit...all while indulging in a sandtart or two but not the whole box...
If you want to hold yourself accountable there are Apps out there that will do that for you...
I joined an App called "Pact"...each week you pledge to do a certain number of workouts...if you make your "pact" (do all of your workouts) you get paid...not big bucks...but a few bucks...but if you don't you get CHARGED...you decide how much you will get charged and it gets tied into your paypal account. The hardest part is remembering to check in and out for each workout...I've earned a small bit of money (enough to buy a decent bottle of wine) and have not been charged anything..
It keeps me from slacking off...
you can get the App in the App Store...it's free...
So who's with me on this?
what...2 of you?
Seriously I want to hear from you...tell me how you are going to branch out and try something new and not let the holidays become the fall-off-the-wagon days and join me in my
THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION
If enough of you try this and follow through and let me know how it's going (you can PM me) I will...
POST A PHOTO OF ME DOING YOGA
that right there should be enough incentive for at least one of you to do this with me so you can laugh yourself silly at me trying to be a pretzel...
and I might even let Darling DK convince me that I don't hate Pilates...whatever Pilates is (actually I know what Pilates is...and I hated it...but I am willing to try again...)
And for those of you who want to join me at Rev (I'm calling out you DowntownJulieBrown!) this is a great time to do it...get yourself hooked while we normally would be quaffing wassail (ok I don't know what the hell wassail is) and eating sand tarts (I keep mentioning sand tarts because KuteKaren bakes them and they are worth every calorie so I am hoping to convince her to give me 4...).
My THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION REVOLUTION is:
lose 1-2 lbs
at least 4 spin classes a week
try yoga
and maybe try pilates (Darling DK I need you!)
less sandtarts and more salmon...
my reward will be that I won't hate myself on January 2...
(but I might hate myself on January 1 if I let RoyBoy make me Fireballs again...)
So make this resolution with me...let's start a revolution...
or you can sit back and eat sand tarts and call me crazy...
either way it's all good...
I'm 50...I want to take care of this body so that maybe I can see 50 more years...and see my children turn 50 and if I can inspire JUST ONE OF YOU to try something new and not give up...
well...
I might just start a revolution...
Inspiration Song: "Revolution" by Diplo...you might have thought I meant the Beatles song (which is awesome and pretty perfect) but I am dedicating this song (first time I have done this) to KuteKim and my Revolution peeps and Amazing Anna who is starting her own revolution with yoga...because they started a revolution in me...and they are revolutionizing our community...
lyrics:
Can you see it?
The worst is over
The monsters in my head are scared of love
Fallen people listen up!
It's never too late to change our luck
The worst is over
The monsters in my head are scared of love
Fallen people listen up!
It's never too late to change our luck
So, don't let them steal your light (Eh eh eh eh)
Don't let them break your stride (Eh eh eh eh)
There is light on the other side
And you'll all the raindrops falling behind
It's a revolution
Make it out tonight
It's a revolution
It's a reva, rev
Don't let them break your stride (Eh eh eh eh)
There is light on the other side
And you'll all the raindrops falling behind
It's a revolution
Make it out tonight
It's a revolution
It's a reva, rev
Can you see it?
The worst is over
The monsters in my head are scared of love
Fallen people listen up!
It's never too late to change our luck
The worst is over
The monsters in my head are scared of love
Fallen people listen up!
It's never too late to change our luck
So, don't let them steal your light (Eh eh eh eh)
Don't let them break your stride (Eh eh eh eh)
There is light on the other side
And you'll all the raindrops falling behind
It's a revolution
Make it out tonight
It's a revolution
It's a reva, rev
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Rev, rev, rev, rev
Don't let them break your stride (Eh eh eh eh)
There is light on the other side
And you'll all the raindrops falling behind
It's a revolution
Make it out tonight
It's a revolution
It's a reva, rev
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh, ooo oh, oh oh oh
Rev, rev, rev, rev
Read more: Diplo - Revolution Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Bye Darlings...be a part of my Thanksgiving Resolution Revolution...or eat sand tarts...or both! I can do both because I am going to not let the holidays kick me in the butt...I'm going to kick #holidaybinging in the butt...
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Birthday
Hello Darlings...
In case you missed it, during the month of November I officially became "old"...but I prefer to think of myself as "vintage"...like a fine wine...
yeah the big 5-0 happened
and although the world didn't come to an end, it did shake up MY life a bit...
I knew it was coming and I don't know why I let it bother me so much, but I will be honest:
IT DID
I loved being 40...I really did...and the day I turned 40 was last birthday I got to have with my mom so it was pretty much my last good birthday....
I considered very carefully how I wanted to approach the day. And if you had told me 5 years ago that I would want to celebrate it by doing 2 spin classes back-to-back I would have said you were beyond crazy.
But that is what I did...
I turned down offers to go to dinner or have dinner made for me or a party given in my honor...
basically I turned down wine and vodka in favor of sweat
what the hell was I thinking?
But truly all I wanted to do was to prove to myself that 50 was a number and not a number that defined me and that I was capable of strong amazing things...and then to have dinner with the only man I truly really love---my son.
I would have killed to have had Kesha Barbie with me but she is up at her college in the northeast and getting her home was too much on her and me...we will celebrate both of our birthdays when she comes for Christmas...
as a child I loved my birthday...
my mom always gave us great parties so I had some fun times with people like MerryMaryLee and
JoyfulJanet when I was young (please note the happy names for happy birthdays)...I had slumber parties and costume parties and one birthday party where the huge disappointment was that the silly string didn't work...
I think one of my favorite birthday gifts I ever got was...
no surprise here...
my Barbie Dreamhouse
it was 3 stories tall and had an elevator
oh how I loved it...
my Daddy tried to sneak it into my bedroom so that the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the pink townhouse...he carried it in but tripped at the foot of my bed and it came crashing down
and he said a bad word
what he didn't realize is that I was awake but was pretending to sleep...so my eyes were closed and I had to work very hard to not open my eyes when he cursed because he almost never cursed around us
I didn't want him to know I was awake...I wanted him to think he had gotten away with the surprise...
so I laid (or is it layed....Darling Donna please teach me English again!) there very still and pretended I was still sleeping until he got it set up and left the room
and then I immediately bolted from my bed and gave the elevator a test drive (you pulled a little string)...I went back to bed and slept (it was about 5 am when he brought it in) and acted like the most surprised girl in the world when our housekeeper woke me up (she wanted to be first to tell me happy birthday...I loved her like a mother).
that is truly my favorite birthday memory from childhood...because it was the one thing I really really wanted and that my dad wanted to surprise me like that...he loved surprising us!
(and as a side note I have to give props to my ex who knew this story and one time added to my Snow Village collection by giving me the Barbie Dream House and he had to drive pretty far out to get it and he totally hated my Snow Village...just sayin that he wasn't always the perfect husband but every once in a while he managed to be a great one)
I really don't have any other birthdays that stand out for me except the "milestone" ones...
When I turned 30 my ex threw me a surprise party at my mom's house...he enlisted the help of my friend LovelyLinda who would babysit for us from time-to-time as a favor (KeshaBarbie loved her). They managed to pull off the surprise and the best part was that LovelyLinda brought KeshaBarbie to the party so that I not only had my daughter there but my friend too! (Kesha Barbie was 1)
When I turned 40 (and my ex turned 47...yes we had the same birthday) my mom and aunt surprised me with a limo ride with my kids and we went to Ruth's Chris and were joined by our dear friends "Aunt" SweetSal and "Uncle"JohnJohn and my Aunt Jane and my mom...it was lovely and Uncle JohnJohn almost fell out of his chair when KeshaBarbie convinced their daughter Kate the Great to eat a very rare steak...weirdly that is what I remember most! Oh and my sweet friend Cute Cindy and her husband Awesome Andy were there and made the party complete...it was a very nice night and one I will always treasure since I got to spend it with my mom.
I wish she was around so I could tell her how I now understand things like:
Botox
Spanx
night sweats
insomnia
waking in the middle of the night needing to pee
having a plastic surgeon you trust (I think hers still mourns her passing as she was his best customer)
I used to wonder why she greased her face up every night before bed...
I GET IT NOW
There is an industrial sized tub of Aquaphor on my nightstand and every night it goes on my face and hands and elbows and feet and sometimes the rest of me too
And here's the part I don't get: I STILL NEED CLEARASIL
Today I have had to use my son's medicated acne medicine twice on my face...
I just wish my skin wasn't so manic-depressive!
(and no I am not using that term lightly because I am sensitive to bipolar disorder but in this case it is the BEST description of how my skin is...manic with the acne and depressed with the dryness...ugh)
My hair has lost a lot of it's luster...and needs washing less frequently...
and my eyes...once the part of my face I considered my best feature...are heavily lined and wrinkled...
And I love Botox...yes, I love Botox...
I could write a sonnet to Botox...
I have not reached the point where I want to pay for an AARP membership, want to eat at Luby's at 5:30 (I still prefer to eat dinner after 7) or have hot flashes
THANK YOU SWEET LORD FOR THAT
I wouldn't say I am fighting my age...I'm just not giving in to it just yet...
I think exercising helps me the most...it keeps the blood flowing so my skin looks good and my muscles toned up and the joints moving...and I have a blast doing it
I try to eat healthy (although last night my son insisted on pizza and after being a gourmet cook for the last few days I agreed and Papa John's it was..). I eat a lot of salmon---I think it helps my skin (not my face but the rest of me)...my skin is in good shape and I think it is all the Omega 3's in the salmon I eat...
and all the red wine I consume helps....well whatever red wine is supposed to do for you...whatever it is I have that covered...
So back to my birthday...
I slept in...had a great lunch with KuteKaren at Carrabbas (had an incredible wood fired salmon filet...there I am with the salmon again)...picked up my son from school...prepped dinner...relaxed a bit and then went to Revolution Studio for my double class...
I clipped in at 5:30 with KuteKristina riding with me to keep me going...she is often my ponytail slinging inspiration...
then we had a little break
at 6:30 she passed me off to KuteKara and when I walked back into the studio there were a dozen roses on my bike and...and this was awesome...a lovely note signed by everyone that is part of the Revolution team that knows me...
I burst into tears...
KuteKim (who owns Rev) clipped in beside me and I had JiantJoel next to me on the other side and KuteKara next to him...
Marvelous Mel taught both classes and when I say "she brought it"...well she damn sure brought it...
I bawled through the last 2 songs...literally cried so hard I could barely ride...KuteKim grabbed my hand and helped me thru it and I had JiantJoel egging me on in the best possible way...and I didn't stop crying until I walked out because after we stretched the whole Rev team came out with a lighted cupcake and champagne and their beautiful smiles
it was the best 2 classes of my life...
because I didn't let myself feel 50....I felt 20...
and I was surrounded by so much love and friendship that I could barely contain myself...
and the music was awesome and MarvelousMel gave it her all for me and I had KuteKim and KuteKara there with me and it was simply...and KuteKristina gave me the sweetest journal to write my thoughts in and it is now on my nightstand...and the cover of it is---wait for it---bikes!
PERFECT
when I got home and read the notes from the Rev team and the sweet card from KuteKim I cried all over again...
and The Cutest Boy in the World and I had a delicious steak dinner and I had some very nice wine...and we shared the cupcake....
And later that night I got the best and sweetest present of all...my precious SweetCaroline wrote a blog about me and how I had helped her and literally it was such an amazing gift of love that it took me forever to read it because I was crying so hard. It was genuine and heartfelt---just like she always is with me...and like the love I felt at Rev that night and the lovely lunch I had with KuteKaren and all the sweet messages I received during the day.
I survived my birthday...
If you had asked me 5 years ago how the day would have gone down I would have said "dinner with the hubby and my son (because I knew my daughter would be in college)" but in truth I would have really been a fat, miserable woman who was very unhappily married and the day would have probably marked the day I hit 345 lbs on the scale...
If you had asked me 4 years ago I would have said that day I would have celebrated with a party with friends...and that I was happily thinner and divorced
and if you had asked me on my 47, 48 or 49th birthday what I would want to do and spend my 50th with I would have said "hopefully with a boyfriend doing something fun"...
but this year there is no man...and that's just fine...my son is always the best date ever...even with a big cast on his foot...
and this year I DID do something fun...
It might not be everyone's idea of fun but for me spending my 50th birthday surrounded by the love of the community I have gotten to love and know over these past 6 months and proving my body is not an old woman's body but one of a fit and healthy woman...and that the only man I wanted to have dinner with was sitting across the table from me---my son...
it was perfect
So I have decided that 50 is not going to define me...
I DEFINE ME
50 is just the age I am....not WHAT I am...
This isn't the greatest photo of me but it was taken a few weeks ago...
and I am going to use this year to celebrate myself...to try new things and do new things and be happy that I am so blessed with so many friends that are in so many aspects of my life: work, school, students, Rev, old friends and new ones...
I'm going to use it as a year of refining myself...of challenging myself...or changing myself in only the best possible ways...my friend MyTommy used his 49th year to do something like this and damn if I can come out of it looking half as good and being half as happy as he is then I will be in great shape
(and did I mention what he does for a living? HE'S A SPIN AND FITNESS INSTRUCTOR PEOPLE...must be the bike...nah...it's just him---he's always been awesome especially when he was getting me out of certain fraternity houses before I did something stupid...)
I'm going to grow....because I have a whole lot more learning and growing to do...
I may be 50 but I have a lot of living left in me...a lot more things to see and do and try...
and when I turn 60...I will do it on a spin bike...
and maybe I will just do 3 in a row....
Inspiration Song: "Birthday" by....oh come on how could I NOT go there---KATY PERRY!!!!! We all know she is my girl crush and I lurvs her...MarvelousMel even played one of her songs during class to make me super happy...
Bye Darlings---age is a number and doesn't define us...and I had a great birthday even without a party because my party was on the bike and with my spin peeps...and I want you all to join me in spreading your own wings and growing up with me...let's not let our age define us but let ourselves be defined by our acts...in which case I am defined by---SWEAT,...hahahahaha
In case you missed it, during the month of November I officially became "old"...but I prefer to think of myself as "vintage"...like a fine wine...
yeah the big 5-0 happened
and although the world didn't come to an end, it did shake up MY life a bit...
I knew it was coming and I don't know why I let it bother me so much, but I will be honest:
IT DID
I loved being 40...I really did...and the day I turned 40 was last birthday I got to have with my mom so it was pretty much my last good birthday....
I considered very carefully how I wanted to approach the day. And if you had told me 5 years ago that I would want to celebrate it by doing 2 spin classes back-to-back I would have said you were beyond crazy.
But that is what I did...
I turned down offers to go to dinner or have dinner made for me or a party given in my honor...
basically I turned down wine and vodka in favor of sweat
what the hell was I thinking?
But truly all I wanted to do was to prove to myself that 50 was a number and not a number that defined me and that I was capable of strong amazing things...and then to have dinner with the only man I truly really love---my son.
I would have killed to have had Kesha Barbie with me but she is up at her college in the northeast and getting her home was too much on her and me...we will celebrate both of our birthdays when she comes for Christmas...
as a child I loved my birthday...
my mom always gave us great parties so I had some fun times with people like MerryMaryLee and
JoyfulJanet when I was young (please note the happy names for happy birthdays)...I had slumber parties and costume parties and one birthday party where the huge disappointment was that the silly string didn't work...
I think one of my favorite birthday gifts I ever got was...
no surprise here...
my Barbie Dreamhouse
it was 3 stories tall and had an elevator
oh how I loved it...
my Daddy tried to sneak it into my bedroom so that the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the pink townhouse...he carried it in but tripped at the foot of my bed and it came crashing down
and he said a bad word
what he didn't realize is that I was awake but was pretending to sleep...so my eyes were closed and I had to work very hard to not open my eyes when he cursed because he almost never cursed around us
I didn't want him to know I was awake...I wanted him to think he had gotten away with the surprise...
so I laid (or is it layed....Darling Donna please teach me English again!) there very still and pretended I was still sleeping until he got it set up and left the room
and then I immediately bolted from my bed and gave the elevator a test drive (you pulled a little string)...I went back to bed and slept (it was about 5 am when he brought it in) and acted like the most surprised girl in the world when our housekeeper woke me up (she wanted to be first to tell me happy birthday...I loved her like a mother).
that is truly my favorite birthday memory from childhood...because it was the one thing I really really wanted and that my dad wanted to surprise me like that...he loved surprising us!
(and as a side note I have to give props to my ex who knew this story and one time added to my Snow Village collection by giving me the Barbie Dream House and he had to drive pretty far out to get it and he totally hated my Snow Village...just sayin that he wasn't always the perfect husband but every once in a while he managed to be a great one)
I really don't have any other birthdays that stand out for me except the "milestone" ones...
When I turned 30 my ex threw me a surprise party at my mom's house...he enlisted the help of my friend LovelyLinda who would babysit for us from time-to-time as a favor (KeshaBarbie loved her). They managed to pull off the surprise and the best part was that LovelyLinda brought KeshaBarbie to the party so that I not only had my daughter there but my friend too! (Kesha Barbie was 1)
When I turned 40 (and my ex turned 47...yes we had the same birthday) my mom and aunt surprised me with a limo ride with my kids and we went to Ruth's Chris and were joined by our dear friends "Aunt" SweetSal and "Uncle"JohnJohn and my Aunt Jane and my mom...it was lovely and Uncle JohnJohn almost fell out of his chair when KeshaBarbie convinced their daughter Kate the Great to eat a very rare steak...weirdly that is what I remember most! Oh and my sweet friend Cute Cindy and her husband Awesome Andy were there and made the party complete...it was a very nice night and one I will always treasure since I got to spend it with my mom.
I wish she was around so I could tell her how I now understand things like:
Botox
Spanx
night sweats
insomnia
waking in the middle of the night needing to pee
having a plastic surgeon you trust (I think hers still mourns her passing as she was his best customer)
I used to wonder why she greased her face up every night before bed...
I GET IT NOW
There is an industrial sized tub of Aquaphor on my nightstand and every night it goes on my face and hands and elbows and feet and sometimes the rest of me too
And here's the part I don't get: I STILL NEED CLEARASIL
Today I have had to use my son's medicated acne medicine twice on my face...
I just wish my skin wasn't so manic-depressive!
(and no I am not using that term lightly because I am sensitive to bipolar disorder but in this case it is the BEST description of how my skin is...manic with the acne and depressed with the dryness...ugh)
My hair has lost a lot of it's luster...and needs washing less frequently...
and my eyes...once the part of my face I considered my best feature...are heavily lined and wrinkled...
And I love Botox...yes, I love Botox...
I could write a sonnet to Botox...
I have not reached the point where I want to pay for an AARP membership, want to eat at Luby's at 5:30 (I still prefer to eat dinner after 7) or have hot flashes
THANK YOU SWEET LORD FOR THAT
I wouldn't say I am fighting my age...I'm just not giving in to it just yet...
I think exercising helps me the most...it keeps the blood flowing so my skin looks good and my muscles toned up and the joints moving...and I have a blast doing it
I try to eat healthy (although last night my son insisted on pizza and after being a gourmet cook for the last few days I agreed and Papa John's it was..). I eat a lot of salmon---I think it helps my skin (not my face but the rest of me)...my skin is in good shape and I think it is all the Omega 3's in the salmon I eat...
and all the red wine I consume helps....well whatever red wine is supposed to do for you...whatever it is I have that covered...
So back to my birthday...
I slept in...had a great lunch with KuteKaren at Carrabbas (had an incredible wood fired salmon filet...there I am with the salmon again)...picked up my son from school...prepped dinner...relaxed a bit and then went to Revolution Studio for my double class...
I clipped in at 5:30 with KuteKristina riding with me to keep me going...she is often my ponytail slinging inspiration...
then we had a little break
at 6:30 she passed me off to KuteKara and when I walked back into the studio there were a dozen roses on my bike and...and this was awesome...a lovely note signed by everyone that is part of the Revolution team that knows me...
I burst into tears...
KuteKim (who owns Rev) clipped in beside me and I had JiantJoel next to me on the other side and KuteKara next to him...
Marvelous Mel taught both classes and when I say "she brought it"...well she damn sure brought it...
I bawled through the last 2 songs...literally cried so hard I could barely ride...KuteKim grabbed my hand and helped me thru it and I had JiantJoel egging me on in the best possible way...and I didn't stop crying until I walked out because after we stretched the whole Rev team came out with a lighted cupcake and champagne and their beautiful smiles
it was the best 2 classes of my life...
because I didn't let myself feel 50....I felt 20...
and I was surrounded by so much love and friendship that I could barely contain myself...
and the music was awesome and MarvelousMel gave it her all for me and I had KuteKim and KuteKara there with me and it was simply...and KuteKristina gave me the sweetest journal to write my thoughts in and it is now on my nightstand...and the cover of it is---wait for it---bikes!
PERFECT
when I got home and read the notes from the Rev team and the sweet card from KuteKim I cried all over again...
and The Cutest Boy in the World and I had a delicious steak dinner and I had some very nice wine...and we shared the cupcake....
And later that night I got the best and sweetest present of all...my precious SweetCaroline wrote a blog about me and how I had helped her and literally it was such an amazing gift of love that it took me forever to read it because I was crying so hard. It was genuine and heartfelt---just like she always is with me...and like the love I felt at Rev that night and the lovely lunch I had with KuteKaren and all the sweet messages I received during the day.
I survived my birthday...
If you had asked me 5 years ago how the day would have gone down I would have said "dinner with the hubby and my son (because I knew my daughter would be in college)" but in truth I would have really been a fat, miserable woman who was very unhappily married and the day would have probably marked the day I hit 345 lbs on the scale...
If you had asked me 4 years ago I would have said that day I would have celebrated with a party with friends...and that I was happily thinner and divorced
and if you had asked me on my 47, 48 or 49th birthday what I would want to do and spend my 50th with I would have said "hopefully with a boyfriend doing something fun"...
but this year there is no man...and that's just fine...my son is always the best date ever...even with a big cast on his foot...
and this year I DID do something fun...
It might not be everyone's idea of fun but for me spending my 50th birthday surrounded by the love of the community I have gotten to love and know over these past 6 months and proving my body is not an old woman's body but one of a fit and healthy woman...and that the only man I wanted to have dinner with was sitting across the table from me---my son...
it was perfect
So I have decided that 50 is not going to define me...
I DEFINE ME
50 is just the age I am....not WHAT I am...
This isn't the greatest photo of me but it was taken a few weeks ago...
and I am going to use this year to celebrate myself...to try new things and do new things and be happy that I am so blessed with so many friends that are in so many aspects of my life: work, school, students, Rev, old friends and new ones...
I'm going to use it as a year of refining myself...of challenging myself...or changing myself in only the best possible ways...my friend MyTommy used his 49th year to do something like this and damn if I can come out of it looking half as good and being half as happy as he is then I will be in great shape
(and did I mention what he does for a living? HE'S A SPIN AND FITNESS INSTRUCTOR PEOPLE...must be the bike...nah...it's just him---he's always been awesome especially when he was getting me out of certain fraternity houses before I did something stupid...)
I'm going to grow....because I have a whole lot more learning and growing to do...
I may be 50 but I have a lot of living left in me...a lot more things to see and do and try...
and when I turn 60...I will do it on a spin bike...
and maybe I will just do 3 in a row....
Inspiration Song: "Birthday" by....oh come on how could I NOT go there---KATY PERRY!!!!! We all know she is my girl crush and I lurvs her...MarvelousMel even played one of her songs during class to make me super happy...
Bye Darlings---age is a number and doesn't define us...and I had a great birthday even without a party because my party was on the bike and with my spin peeps...and I want you all to join me in spreading your own wings and growing up with me...let's not let our age define us but let ourselves be defined by our acts...in which case I am defined by---SWEAT,...hahahahaha
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