When Love Takes Over

Today I did something I haven't done in over 5 years...in fact, it has been 5 years and 8 months since I did it.

I stepped inside Geo. H. Lewis and Sons Funeral Home.

A place I haven't been since my own precious mother died. A place I do not like to go. A place that holds only pain and sadness for me.

But a friend's mother passed away and the visitation was at the funeral home and today I had to go.

Love took over...

Because I didn't want to go in there.

I can handle funeral services (now...but it took a while) in a church. But not THAT funeral home.

Just before stepping inside I had a little tiny panic attack. I had to stop and take a breath and let myself gather up again. I let my love for my friend and his family take me inside.

I didn't look in the chapel. I did not want to go in the place where my mother's body had once been in a casket.

So I just avoided looking in.

I visited with the family. I visited with friends.

I took a lot of deep breaths.

I only had one bad moment inside...it passed.

Love took over.

Tomorrow the funeral is at the same church where we had my mother's funeral. It is not an easy church for me to go to. But I will go.

I seem to be going to a lot of funerals these days. This time it is easier than my friend Patrick's passing since this was an older woman...a woman who had loved a lovely full life. It is still sad that she is gone, but, as we all know and hope to some day be---she is in HEAVEN! She is at peace...she is free of pain...she is with her husband and family members who where there to greet her.

But I don't want to dwell on sad things...this is a season of giving and thankfullness and being with those we love.

Love takes over...our love for each other, for our families, for our friends, for God, for Jesus...

Somehow love has NOT taken over the overwhelming urge in me NOT to shop and NOT to decorate.

I just can't get into it.

I love Christmas and I used to love decorating but ever since my mother passed away some of the joy is lost. That, and having a lot of my stuff ruined in a flood.

But I am bound and determined that no matter how big a pain in the neck it is, I will get a tree up this year and I will put out some of my decorations.

Love needs to take over...because my kids miss it...

As for the shopping, my son just wants gift cards to buy more video games and my daughter wants music stuff and asked if she can just pick it out online and send me a link.

I miss the days of Toys R Us and trying to get the last Beanie Baby...

So this year we adopted a family (I'm letting love for someone I don't even know to take over my credit card) and I got to buy an Easy Bake Oven.

Remember those?

They still make them...

Wasn't that the BEST cake ever? Even if it was smaller than a saucer, hard as a rock and it gets cooked with a light bulb.

One friend told me that she bought a "Baby Alive" for the girl on her adopted family list. It brought back some memories.

I had a Baby Alive. So did my sisters. They are horrible things these Baby Alive dolls. They "eat" and then they pee...

Gross...

You have to feed them special food. Food that disolves and easily rinses out with the water you feed the doll to make it pee.

My sister, N, fed her Baby Alive real baby food.

Not a good idea....

It got ants...and maggots...

Baby Alive died in the trash can...all of them.

My father told my mother never to buy such a stupid doll again.

So the next year she didn't buy us baby dolls at all and my father, after a good bit of "cheer" (of the alcoholic variety) at his aunt's house, was upset to see that she had not gotten us the baby dolls we so desired. (She had, however, purchased us Madame Alexander dolls...which I still have).

So my father called the owner of the only store in town that carried dolls and got him to open up at midnight and he bought us some dolls.

My Daddy loved having daughters...and he loved giving us dolls.

But in that instance I think "Scotch" or "Bourbon" took over and not love...in any case I got several dolls that Christmas.

My dad was acutally quite a world class shopper. He is the one who took me shopping for all of my "rush" clothes before heading to college. We went to Sakowitz and they set up a screen in one of the big dressing rooms. I played dress up all afternoon and my dad was delighted as I would come out from behind the screen and twirl around for him.

Years later, when I was married, I was shopping at Sakowitz and the saleslady told me my father was downstairs in the mens department. We were meeting there for lunch. I had picked out 4 dresses but knew I could only buy one...maybe two. So I went downstairs in my favorite (and the most expensive) dress and twirled around for him. He clapped with delight...

And then he informed me that another man was paying my bills these days and to get back upstairs and get ready to go to lunch.

I stuck out my lower lip and pouted all the way up the escalator.

I returned to the dressing room to see it cleaned out of my other choices and handed the saleslady the red dress I was wearing. She took it and didn't say a word.

I stepped out of the dressing room (after pouting a bit more) and she handed me a garment bag----with all 4 dreses inside.

I told her I could not buy them.

She told me that my Daddy had called (boy was he quick to the phone) and told her to charge them to him.

I turned around to find him standing in the sales area laughing. And then I tackled him and covered him with "daughter loves her Daddy" kisses...

He delighted in surprising us that way.

One year for Christmas he presented me with a very large box. It was a week before Christmas. He told me to open it.

Inside was the frothiest, laciest, pink confection of a gown. The lace was delicate and the pink silk taffeta was as gossamer as a butterfly's wings and the color of baby's lips. It gave you a cavity just to look at it, it was so sweet...

I showed the appropriate amount of delight...because I was barely 17 and I loved dresses that made me look like a cupcake.

He cried.

After he stepped out of the room my stepmother told me the REAL story of the dress.

Apparently he had been wandering about Frost Brothers and as he rode up the escalator he was greeted by a mannequin in the confection dress. He knew I had to have the dress and he wanted to surprise me with it.

So he took the mannequin off the stand and carried it through the store until he found the saleslady helping my stepmother. He began to strip the mannequin of the gown before the horrified saleslady's eyes.

She informed him: "Mr. Shelton...we do not undress mannequins on the sales floor at Frost Brothers!".

He told her to get the damn dress off the mannequin and put it in a box.

She informed him: "Mr. Shelton, we do not put gowns into boxes! They are hung and placed in garment bags!".

He told her to put it in a box...a big box...and he wanted the box wrapped...and I quote here "like they do on tv...so that she unties the ribbon and pulls the wrapped top off the box and can see it inside the box"...

And that is just what he got...a box that had the top and bottom wrapped seperately, with the gown inside, with a huge bow on the outside that I could untie.

He made me do it over and over again...open the box and squeal.

Like I said, he loved giving surprises...and he had a flair for the dramatic.

My dad loved women...good thing since he had 7 daughters.

I'll save the story of me, my daddy and my wedding gown for another day...or I may have already blogged about it...I forget because I have so many daddy and dresses stories.

How lucky was I to have a daddy who loved playing Barbie except that in his case "Barbie" was his daughters?

His love for us took over any embarrasment he might have felt as a cowboy (always in his boots) standing in a fancy department store looking through racks of ribbons, lace, satin, and silk for the perfect dress to give to one of us...

Today made me miss my parents...but even though they aren't with me I can still feel their love...

when I wear my mother's charm bracelet

when I look at their photos

and when I look at the red dress that my Daddy bought me (along with the other 3) oh so long ago at Sakowitz....I still have them....

and so many other times of the day, week, year..

Let your love take over...do something that is out of your comfort zone for someone else...

Inspiration Song: "When Love Takes Over" by David Guetta (and Kelly Rowland)...I love me some D Guetta....

Bye Darlings...

Don't You Evah

Don't you ever...
Wish you were Samantha from Bewitched?
So you could just twitch your nose and things would get done...things like the dishes? Or the Christmas cards you forgot to take a photo for could just be whipped up? The house could get cleaned magically? And that Esmerelda could just appear to take care of your kids?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Wish you were Jeannie from "I Dream of Jeannie"?
So that you could cross your arms and blink your eyes and you could be suddenly transported somewhere else? Avoiding traffic? Or you could do the blink thing and suddenly you have a new outfit on?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Wish there were more hours in a day?
So you could SLEEP? Or just get things done?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Wonder why your body craves things that are BAD for you but you never have a craving for things like celery or non-fat yogurt? Why do I have to crave CRAVE cupcakes?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Wish that the Victoria's Secret models would all suddenly get fat?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Wish that the work/school week was 2 days long and the "weekend" was 5 days long?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Feel like you want vacation break to be over...24 hours after it started because you are tired of hearing the words "I am sooooooooooooo bored" come from your child's mouth?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Wish that your husband could turn into Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, Alexsander Skaarsgard, or Maks from Dancing with the Stars...for a few hours? Just for fun...just to look at...and if it is Maks, let's dance...

I do...oh, I do...


Don't you ever...
Wish that chocolate had no calories? But still tasted just as good? or that cream cheese and butter have the same calorie count as say...celery?

I do...


Don't you ever...
Want the skin that hangs from your arms like bat wings to just magically disappear overnight and suddenly you would wake up with Madonna's arms?

I do...although Coach Dimples tells me to forget about her arms because they are "too cut" and not "all that"...but I will take "cut" over "bat wings" anyday...what does he know, he is a MAN...


Don't you ever...
Wish that there was no such thing as a size 00?

I do...too much pressure...makes an 8 look big...


Don't you ever...
Wish that Spinderella, Jay Vee, or J'taime Jaime taught a spin class every day?

I do...and I know that one is very personal...but I luv luv luv spinning with them...


Don't you ever...
Wish that it was as easy to excercise as it is to sit on the couch?

I do...all the time...and I wish I could burn the same amount of calories sitting on said couch...


Don't you ever...
Want $10 wine to taste as good as $40 wine?

I do...and sometimes it does...and sometimes the $40 stuff tastes worse than $10...


Don't you ever...
Find yourself obsessed with the silliest things?

I do...and right now my current obsessions are (in no particular order): salmon, Oprah, Caslon t-shirts from Nordstrom, Tom Ford Black Orchid perfume, my black boots, pants from "Lucy", and getting below a certain point on the scale by Christmas...oh, and salmon...I've eaten it for like every meal this week...what's with that?


Don't you ever...
Want to say to your spouse "are you kidding me, Bozo?" when you discover he is TAPING the football game he just watched live at the stadium and it knocked off something you wanted to tape?

I do...and I have...


Don't you ever...
Wish that life was on DVR and you could rewind it?

I do...so you could enjoy all the good stuff over and over again...and skip over the bad/boring/hard stuff...


Don't you ever...
Wish that you could put your husband on mute?

I do...all the time...can you tell he has irritated me today?


Don't you ever...
Wish Santa really existed?

I do...and he does...


Don't you ever...
Feel that God has blessed you greatly and that all the stuff you complain about it just silly?

I do...and He has...and I'm grateful for my blessings...


So I will stop whining now.

I've actually had a pretty great week. I've eaten enough salmon to feel like I need to swim upstream but cheated a few times and don't feel guilty about it. I've had great workouts with Dimples---and he got me off my weight loss plateau and back into "losing"...even if it took pulling his cute self up a nasty hill. Thank goodness he is becoming an expert at speaking "woman" to me and rarely slips into "coach" mode these days...and thank goodness for those dimples because it makes it easier to deal with the pain he is dishing out to me when he smiles as he tells me to do it. I had some really fun spin classes that were actually FUN. I went and heard a choral concert that moved me to tears...especially when my friend's daugher Katherine the Great sang a solo during the "Messiah" portion of the program. Beautiful music always moves me. I got to go to a fun party and see my old "soccer mom" friends from The Cutest Boy in the World's old soccer team. I even had some people (including some good looking men and several very sweet children) tell me I looked "pretty" and "hot" and even got a few "wows"...I'll take that...even though I think they were all just being sweet...but it is nice to hear...

I got nothin' to complain about...


Inspiration Song:
"Don't You Evah" by Spoon...because it is such a cool song...and on my workout list these days and gets heavy play...

Bye Darlings...don't you ever...stop counting your blessings!

Running Up that Hill

Today you get two blogs for the price of one...actually "Santa Baby" is just a silly little thing on my part...if you missed it and want to read my reworking of the song, look to the right side of the page where it lists post and click on it...

Well, I must have done something right because I was able to walk today and the knee wasn't killing me. I got through spin class with absolutely no pain.

It did, however, hurt a bit after working out with Dimples today...but that was because I ran. So we stopped the running part and the hurting stopped.

Dang...just when I thought I was going to like to run...nah...I don't think I was ever going to LIKE running...

He did get creative...

we went to the PLAYGROUND!

But that was only after he made me do some horrendous thing on the ground that kept him laughing at me...and me covered in grass and dead leaves. I won't even try and describe the torture that the excercise was, but suffice it to say that had I ever been a debutante and took a "Texas Dip" bow, this excercise would have made that easy...

OK, I'll describe it...because you might really want to do it yourself.

Lie on the ground. Bend your right knee. Raise your right arm straight up (like a "chimnney" he tells me). Left arm down on the ground at a 45 degree angle. Push up with left arm, keeping right arm straight up in the air. Slide left leg under right knee. Use left hand and right quad to stand up. Keep right arm straight up. Do the opposite to go down. Reapeat 10 times FAST. Change sides...

Hell...it was hell...

And then we jogged over to the playground (a tiny jog) and I got all excited because I thought he was going to push me on the swings but instead he made me use the playground equipment to do push ups and pull-ups and lat pulls and nothing nearly as fun as swinging.

But it was a change of pace.

After 20 minutes or making a circuit of it we jogged back to the park part and he decided that I needed to run up that damn hill.

I knew when I found the park for us that the hill was going to be the devil in my day. And every workout he finds a new way to torture me on the hill. But today he truly outdid himself...

Because he made me run up the hill to him....over and over...run as fast as I could up and then jog down...multiple times....

When I got to the point where I was ready to throw up he grabbed the huge black rubber band thing and had me hold one end and he held the other and I pulled HIM up the hill...while I went backwards.

I don't like to go backwards...so the whole time he was telling me I was fine.

I had flashbacks to pulling my heifer around. He was like my heifer...I had to pull pull pull to get her (and him) to go anywhere.

See, once upon a time I had a heifer who was wonderfully named...

5

yes, the number 5...

because it was her brand number.

I named my steers names, but my cows were just numbers...I don't know why...

My steers had names like:
Sirloin (peverse, I know)
Filet Mignon (again, perverse...)
Idi Amin (he was big, black, and mean)
and...
Monster (my BFF Amy named him because he was so big)

Monster was a sweetheart. 5 was not. She was awful. Idi Amin was awful but I sold him after the first stock show. Monster was my ticket to championships...and so was 5.

I showed them at the stock shows my Senior year of high school. I calculated that because of livetock shows (and one golf tournament that I think I finally broke 200, yes 200, in) I only went to school 5 days during the month of February.

5 liked to drag me around...she would just start going and I would hang onto her halter for dear life. My friend Trey once deciced he was going to "show her who's boss". He told me that since she had control of me I was never going to control her so he was going to fix it and do it.

His brother and I had a moment of joy as we waited for him to "show her who's boss"...

I think his heel track marks are still in the pasture....

Needless to say, 5 was still the boss.

One day I had to leave high school because of 5. I got called to the principal's office (that was a big "oooooohhhh...she's in trouble" moment in my Trig class) and he told me the following:

"Tiny called. He says 5 is loose. He says that you have to get to the barn and get her because all the men are in the rafters".

Then he asked me what that meant.

I asked him if I could leave and he said I could if I explained the message.

I told him that basically she was horrible and if she was loose, the men that worked in the cattle barn were scared of her and she was obviously causing terror.

He let me go.

I got to the barn and found 3 men in the rafers (cursing in Spanish) and Tiny (who weighed 350 pounds) and Hank (who was 6'7") locked in their office.

And one very mad cow stoming about like she was a bull.

We had a little showdown. She stood at one end of the barn and I stood at the other.

I looked her in the eye. She glared.

And then I yelled at her to get back into her stall and quit being so bad.

I know you think I am kidding. And I know you think I am lying when I tell you she put her head down and walked into her stall.

She snorted as I shut the door. The cursing in Spanish continued.

I left the barn and went back to Trig...which was over by then...so I guess I went to English...

She pulled one other stunt on me and drug me around the ring during the San Antonio Livestock show. I never let go of her halter. I think my boot skid marks are still in the arena.

I won the show.

The judge told me that the only reason he didn't toss me out was that I didn't let go.

So today as I was dragging Dimles up the hill all I could think of was 5 and how she would refuse to go where I tried to drag her. I told him he was a heifer...and explained...

Thank goodness he is a cute heifer or I wouldn't have bothered with all the pulling and dragging...

I'll save my Monster stories for another blog...they are good but long and I think one or two cow tales are enough for one blog.

I still have 5's trophies...I am looking at them as I type this blog. She lived a happy cow life after we won all that we could on the stock show circuit.

But I bet she terrorized the other cows...

And back to my workout today...he made me do it all...the running up the hill/jogging down 5 times, the pulling him up the hill 5 times...he made me do it all...TWICE...

my quads are screaming...

I think tonight is a night for Advil...and wine...it's a great combination!

Inspiration Song: "Running Up That Hill" by Kate Bush (the original and haunting and beautiful)or the version by Placebo that is strangely beautiful...both are good...I have both on my iPod...

Lyrics:

It doesn't hurt me.
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?
You, It's you and me.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
Say, If I only could, oh...

You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware, I'm tearing you asunder.
Ooh, There is thunder in our hearts.

Is there so much hate for the ones who love?
Tell me we both matter don't we?

You,
It's you and me,
It's you and me who won't be unhappy.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
Say, If I only could, oh...

You,
It's you and me,
It's you and me who won't be unhappy.

Come on baby, come on darling
Let me steal this moment from you now
Oh come on angel, come on come on darlin'
Let's exchange the experience oh...

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems...

Say if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems...

Say if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems...

Say, If I only could...
Oh...
Be running up that hill,
With no problems...

If only I could,
Be running up that hill...

Bye Darlings...go running up that hill and see what is up there...for me it is just my fabulous and adorable trainer...but on the other side is...fitness!

Santa Baby

Eartha Kitt, please forgive me...along with whoever wrote the original version of this song...

Santa Baby, slip a size 12 under the tree, For me.
been an awful good girl, Santa baby,
so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a new pair of running shoes,
Light blue.
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the cupcakes I've missed,
Think of all the pizza and burgers I've dissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna look hot,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,
running speed
To make me look fine,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with little skirts,
to flirt.
and don't forget some white or red wine,
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Thanks for sending Coach Dimples to me,
He really is working hard you see,
I really do believe in him,
Let's see how fabulous I can be!

Santa baby, forgot to mention one last detail,
The scale.
I need it under 200 pounds,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

Here are the REAL lyrics:

Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, For me.
been an awful good girl, Santa baby,
so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,
Light blue.
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna yacht,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,
The deed
To a platinum mine,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,
And checks.
Sign your 'X' on the line,
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,
A ring.
I don't mean on the phone,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

Ice Ice Baby

I know, I know...you are horrified by the blog title...and scared that THAT song is actually on my iPod...well, it is...and I'll get to it later...

And yes, I know it is one of the 10 worst songs ever written.
Along with:
"Run, Joey, Run"---there is no excuse for that song
"The Pina Colada Song"---really? really?
"Muscrat Love"---shameful
"Merry Christmas, Darling"---GOTT and I mutually hate that song
"Billy Don't be a Hero"---ugh!
"Seasons in the Sun"---a soap opera in a song and it is awful...
"Cats in the Cradle"---see above...

ok, there are more...and I'm sure you have some suggestions for my list...but this blog isn't about bad music...someday I will do one on that...

it is about...ice...

Ice Ice, Baby...

Because today my heart was declared "good" but my knee gave out.

You see, I had to have a stupid stress test. Apparently when Gorgeous Doctor did my physical my EKG was "funky" and a little off. So I had to have the stress test. Dimples and GOTT laughed about it since they both know that the only way to get my heart rate up is to make me run.

Well that, and Alexsander Skaarsgard...shirtless...

Oh, and Ryan Reynolds...shirtless...

And the guy from "Spartacus"...shirtless...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

but I digress....

moving on...

So I had the stress test today. I was emailing/messaging/texting Dimples because he received my fussy email from Saturday where I basically told him I was going to go postal if my weight didn't drop and that my knee was killing me and that I was depressed that I had to go to a funeral. I emailed him right after getting off a MILE JOG (yes, I jogged a mile! woo-hoo!)and my knee was SCREAMING...my knee that has been operated on twice for the meniscus.

So he was checking to be sure that I was still breathing...I was...and I told him I was having the stress test...

I survived the weekend and the celebration of my friend Patrick's life. Won't go into that here...but it was lovely and we all miss him. I got happy before the funeral by shooting (with a CAMERA) my 8th grade precious angels playing soccer along with Coach Cuteness. The game went into overtime. You can't be late to a funeral...

So I dashed home, changed clothes and made the GREAT decision to put on 4 inch stilletos for the Celebration of Patrick's life.

I don't think that helped my knee that was already hurting...I sat with TTG and he just shook his head at my choice of footwear...and understood why it took me so long to get from the parking lot into the sanctuary.

So today I go in for the stress test and the first funny thing that happens is that the nurse misreads my file and thinks I am 64 instead of 46 so she was a little shocked when I stood up when my name was called.

I was in a waiting room full of people with walkers...it wasn't doing much for my confidence.

Saw the doctor and he wasn't overly concerned and sends me off for the stress test and ultrasound (I think they call it an "echo"...whatever).

I get on the treadmill and am doing fine and rocking along and then...

YOWZA...

the knee starts to scream...

I ask the guy if I have gone enough and he says "yes" so I say "stop" so I can preserve what little knee function I have left.

It all turned out ok but now I think I have to go see the ortho guy...again...

And that, my friends, really scares me...

Because I was not afraid of my heart being in trouble...because I knew I was fine.

But I am afraid of having to stop excercising because of my knee.

So now it is me and the ice ice baby...and some Advil...but no wine tonight (remember Jeanette---wine and Advil are a great combination!) because I am trying to really behave so I can get my Christmas present...

to be under 200 pounds...

That is what Santa needs to leave under the tree for me...

And now he needs to heal my knee too...

I think I will re-write "Santa Baby" for my next blog...we'll see...

I worked out with Dimples and did nothing but scare and frustrate him with the knee. Scared because he was worried he had caused it (I assured him he had not) and frustrated because it is hard to get me in the target heart zone without jogging, running, squatting, lunging, etc.

But he's trying and he's getting creative...

And I'm scared...

And right now it is cool outside and really nice in the park...no ice ice baby there, just cool so I don't sweat to death...and I love being in the park but this knee thing may alter our plans.

He's going out of town this weekend to ski (some ice ice baby for him) and I think he is going to tell me to rest my knee while he is gone.

One tiny problem....the spinning master class that Jay Vee and J'taime Jamie are teaching on Saturday...can't miss that...

I'd love to ski again...it's been years...I have been too fat and out of shape. But with this knee stuff I'm not sure I will again.

I haven't skied since college. I went with my best friend, Christopher. He was an EXPERT skier. I drove up to Vail and then Aspen with some friends and Christopher met up with us. He missed our first day which was a shame since my friend Camille and I managed to find ourselves with a very bad "Sophie's Choice":

double black diamond mogul run

or

double black diamond straight down kill you run

ice ice baby...

Hey, Mr. Game Show man, can we have the option behind door number 3? The one that is a green or blue run?

No?

The ski patrol told us to get down from high off the mountain because of some pesky blizzard like snow so we were forced to choose...

So we choose "moguls for 1000, Alex" and took off our skiis and went down...on our butts...

by the time we got to the warming up place/restaurant, our bandanas had frozen to our faces...

ice ice baby

So the next day Christopher meets up with us and I opt to ski with him.

I was a magor pain in the @$$ to him...but since he loved me, he had no choice...

First we got stuck on the blasted chair lift for over 30 minutes...

again, my bandana began to freeze

ice ice baby

and then there was the whole problem with the fact that we were so high in the air that I was afraid we needed air traffic control...remember, I am deathly afraid of heights!

I almost fell out of the chair...his ski pole kept me in...

he began to feed/give me sips of cinnamon schnapps from some bag thing he had...to calm me down.

alcohol + altitude + me = trouble

"I'll take "get me off this damn chair lift for $200", Alex"...

it finally started up just about the time that I was going to need psychiatric care...I was just on the "sane" side of nervous breakdown...by seconds...

So the chair starts back up and I am mildly warmed (and drunk) on the schnapps...and Christopher informs me that we are going to take some horrible run that has some sort of awful "catwalk" on it and that we need to hit that part of the run with SPEED SPEED SPEED or we will have to POLE POLE POLE...

I promised him (or rather the schnapps promised him) that I would go fast enough to take us around the catwalk.

He wanted to stay behind me to watch out for me. He was afraid I would fall of the mountain or freak out over the heights and if he was in front of me he would miss the freak out and then real trouble would begin.

I did good until I saw the catwalk and then I freaked out and...

slowed down

so I wouldn't hit the ice ice baby

The rest of the story...I'm sure you can figure it out...we had to POLE POLE POLE around that catwalk and all the while I heard him muttering the "f" word with each stab of his pole...

and he kept saying that if he wanted to cross country ski he would have done that instead...

we got off the catwalk, I hit a patch of ice ice baby and nearly hugged a tree with my face and he got so worried digging me out of the snow that he forgave me and turned back into the guy I should have been in love with but loved too much to love him that way...he was my best friend. He was gorgeous and wonderful and we lost him to leukemia 7 years later...gone too soon and I am lucky to be married to a man who knows I mourn another man (and can't listen to certain Geore Strait songs because of it).

He was an awesome guy...even if he called me every name in the book of bad words on that ski run...

Maybe that's why I don't ski anymore...

I hope Dimples can avoid any ice ice baby because only one of us can be crippled at a time...

I'll let you know how my knee is after some more ice and Advil....in the meantime I am off to put on some

ICE ICE BABY!

Inspiration Song: ok, ok you can give me crap about this one..."Ice Ice Baby"...you can go with Vanilla Ice's version but personally I can only stomach the "Glee" version...Matthew Morrison totally rocked it...

bye darlings....

Slow Ride

ugh...

no movement on the scale...

I'm whiny tonight...very fussy...long day and I had some wine so I am both "whiny" and "winey"...

I fussed to Dimples about it via email...like I said, he is not just my trainer but also my therapist.

My OCD requires that I see the scale bar move down down down...

and it has stayed put put put

but I know I haven't gained weight, and I know I am doing what I should...but it is frustrating..especially to the OCD side of my personality.

And yes, the loss of my friend has some play in this as well...

Dimples writes a blog about fitness/health/diet/excercise. It's good...and since I have put myself into his hands I read it faithfully and do what he says...but his latest one told me to cut out some food I'm not sure I can live without.

No caffeine
No alchohol
no sodas
no corn...

I'll get to corn in a minute...

but the first 3 are non-negotiables with me.

And I informed him, via text and email, that I would not give up my morning cup of coffee, my iced tea at lunch, my Diet Dr. Pepper as a treat, and as for wine...well, if you read this blog you know how I feel about wine...

so I told him, and I quote: "no matter what, Sugar, I am not giving up wine"...end of discussion...

I think he can live with that because he's known all along that I'm not giving up my crushed and fermented grape juice.

Now as to the corn...that is a strange one. But he's pretty firm on that one so I am giving up corn...and corn tortillas...and whatever else has corn in it. I'm hoping it will help my allergies too...I'll let you know...

I did take today off...not by choice, but because my schedule just flat didn't allow it. But I know my body needed the break and tomorrow I will be at Body Pump hitting it hard and then a quick run on the treadmill because I won't make it through my friend's funeral if I don't de-stress.

I had a morning of art history lessons (fun for the first hour...boring for the next 3...all the same lesson, over and over), lunch with a friend (that was a bright spot), and then I got to spend time learning more about my camera with Coach Sweetness. So the day wasn't bad...just long...

When I had lunch with my girl friend we discussed taking opportunities when we were presented with them...even if the timing seems off or not right. After much philosophical discussion (from 2 women who are NOT philosophers) we came to the conclusion that when presented with an opportunity or the chance to do something really great, DON'T WAIT until the timing seems "just right"...like the Nike commercials say...JUST DO IT...

In the past week I lost a friend...and I have regrets about missed opportunities not just with him but it makes me consider them in general (opportunities, I mean)...things I have missed out on because of one thing or another.

The lovely thing about losing weight is that I can't use that as an excuse anymore...my size and my shape and my fitness can't keep me from doing things that are fun, special, or scare me a bit.

I want to do some things I haven't tried before (still not jumping out of a plane...), I want to explore more about things I love (photography, cooking), and I want to spend as much time as possible with people I love.

It might take more energy...but I have it...
It might take more time...but what else do I want to do with time...watch tv? No!
It might take more $...ok, that will need some consideration...
It might take more effort...so what...
It might take more committment...I've got that...I'm nothing if not committed to whatever I do...

This is not a fast paced run...I'm on a jog to where I need to be...and sometimes I am going to walk...and sometimes it's a slow ride and I'll let someone else get me there (like Dimples)...

And I can't dwell on the stupid things...like the scale not dropping in a big way...because I know that it will...it may take more time, more energy, more committment, more effort but I can do it...

I just can't get impatient with myself and my journey...because I need to enjoy it and not get so rushed I can't see what is around me as well as what is in front of me.

See...I'm not so whiny any more...thank goodness for this blog as an outlet to not let me get the best of myself...

Inspiration Song: "Slow Ride" by Foghat...love it...

bye darlings...enjoy the ride...

A Dios Le Pido

A Dios Le Pido...I ask (from) God...

I got more than one translation for this...I ask God...I ask from God...I pray to God...

My father is up in Heaven shaking his head that I never mastered the Spanish language. It was his primary language. He spoke it fluently. Several dialects. No discernable accent (except what it should be).

But I digress...

I ask God...I pray to God...

Because, my friend Patrick passed away and left this earthly place to go to his Heavenly Home...

We ache for his smile...we miss him...it has been just over 24 hours.

You may recall that I have mentioned Patrick and his wife Carol Lee in my blog before. He is my friend who had a devestating and life-changing (life-ending) wreck in October.

He was without oxygen at the accident site for quite some time. His brain injuries were...unrecoverable.

So his loving family moved him to hospice care and let him pass peacefully.

His wife says that it was one of the greatest moments in her life to hold him as he went to be with our Lord in perfect wholeness for eternity (her eloquent words, not mine). She says he "ran to Jesus" while Robert Earl Keene's "I'm coming home" was playing on the cd player. She says his physical expression changed and he got chill bumps on his arms as she knew he saw his Holy Father. (again, her words...)

What a perfect and beautiful moment. His suffering has ended.

I know that when he got to Heaven his mother and my parents were there to greet and love him. Patrick knew both of my parents in very different, but special ways.

He knew my father as his father's close friend.

He called my mother "his angel". I will keep private why he called her that, but I will share that my mother took care of Patrick when he was younger and he loved her for it.

The last time I saw Patrick was behind the wheel of his car as we both ended up at Prasek's while coming home from South Texas. He, Carol Lee, and Annie (their daughter) were arriving as I was leaving.

He was waiting for my parking space...

Carol got out of the car and came to kiss me...and I will forever regret that I sent a kiss back to Patrick via Carol instead of getting myself out of the car and going and kissing him myself before I let him have my space.

But Prasek's was crowded and we were blocking traffic. So I stayed in the car.

I'm not sure I will stop there for a while...

A Dios Le Pido...I ask of God...I pray to God...

I ask God to welcome Patrick home and give him a palace as his heavenly place to be...

I ask God to comfort his family and loved ones...we all know in our hearts that Patrick is the lucky one...he is in Heaven...but we will miss his smile and presence here on Earth.

When my mother died, a beautiful child greeted me with a profound statement. Ironically that beautiful child was Parick's niece Conlee.

Conlee and her parents stayed at my house to keep watch over things while I went to the funeral home. When I returned home I threw myself into my dear friend's (her mother's) arms and cried.

Conlee looked at me and said: "Why you crying? Your Mommy in HEAVEN!!!!!"

Wow....what a profound statement...from a 3-year-old.

I have never gotten over what an amazing thing it was for her to say to me...it was perfect...it was what I needed to hear...it gave me peace.

Patrick is in Heaven...he is lucky...

But his time here feels too short to me...but who am I to question God's timing?

so there you go...no profound statements from me...no diet or excercise talk...no silly chatter about my life...because today I want to honor a man I love...I want to honor my friend...and I want to honor his family.

I ask God to help us through...

Inspiration Song: "A Dios Le Pido" by Juanes. Amazing and gorgeous song. Please read the lyrics. And if you don't have any songs in Spanish on your iPod, then go and download this one now and have it...it is truly beautiful...

Here are the words...first in Spanish and in English...I copied the translation from this website:
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/dios-le-pido-i-ask-god.html-0

A Dios Le Pido

Que mis ojos se despierten
con la luz de tu mirada
yo a Dios le pido
que mi madre no se muera
y que mi padre me recuerde
a Dios le pido

Que te quedes a mi lado
y que más nunca te me vayas mi vida
a Dios le pido
que mi alma no descanse
cuando de amarte se trate mi cielo
a Dios le pido

Por los días que me quedan
y las noches que aun no llegan
yo a Dios le pido
por los hijos de mis hijos
y los hijos de tus hijos
a Dios le pido

Que mi pueblo no derrame tanta sangre
y se levante mi gente
a Dios le pido
que mi alma no descanse
cuando de amarte se trate mi cielo
a Dios le pido

Un segundo mas de vida para darte
y mi corazón entero entregarte
un segundo mas de vida para darte
y a tu lado para siempre yo quedarme
un segundo mas de vida
yo a Dios le pido

Que si me muero sea de amor
y si me enamoro sea de vos
y que de tu voz sea este corazón
todos los días a Dios le pido
que si me muero sea de amor
y si me enamoro sea de vos
y que de tu voz sea este corazón
todos los días a Dios le pido
a Dios le pido

English

I ask God

That my eyes awaken
with the light of your stare
i ask of God
that my mother not die
and that my father not forget me
i ask of God

That you stay by my side
and that you never again leave me, my life
i ask of God
that my soul doesn't tire
when it comoes to loving you, my heaven
i ask of God

For the days to remain for me
and that the nights don't come
i ask of God
for the children of my children
and the children of your children
i ask of God

That my people don't shed so much blood
and that they raise my people
i ask of God
that my soul doesn't tire
when it comes to loving you, my heaven
i ask of God

One more second of my life to give you
and my whole heart i give you
one more second of my life to give you
and by your side i'll remain forever
one more second of my life
i ask of God

That if i die it be of love
and if i die it be of you
and that your voice be this heart
everyday i ask of God
that if i die it be of love
and if i fall in love it be with you
and that you voice be this heart
everyday i ask of God
i ask of God
From: http://lyricstranslate.com From: http://lyricstranslate.com