"Barbie Girl" is not a song you want running in your head.
I was hesitant to use it for a blog because after all it HAS to be among the Top 10 Worst Songs of All Time (along with "Muskrat Love", "The Pina Colada Song" and several other songs that are pure dreckitude).
Ke$ha Barbie used to love that song...I let her listen to it until I listened closely to the words...yowza...it's not a nice girl song...
Luckily she was still at the age where she mixed up song lyrics all the time...like:
(From "Sandra Dee" from the musical "Grease")
Ke$ha Barbie's "lyrics": "Would you put a cat in a net?"
Actual lyrics: "would you pull that crap with Annette?"
She also thought "Baby One More Time' was a nice girl song...until she saw the video...
But I'm not talking about song lyrics today...I'm talking about...
BEAUTY
and
BARBIE
or rather how Barbie makes us feel.
Now I am a HUGE Barbie fan. I have always LOVED LOVED LOVED Barbie. I played with my Barbies until I was probably too old to play with my Barbies. I bought Ke$ha Barbie her own Barbies but she never liked them at all. She liked her Beanie Babies. I loved Barbie and wanted a Barbie Girl daughter for my own...
And that is part of the reason I named her Ke$ha Barbie...
She did play a bit with them. She dressed them up a bit but I always took the shoes away...I lived in fear of Barbie Shoes. I was terrified that The Cutest Boy in the World was going to eat one.
Ke$ha Barbie knew that I always threw them away.
Once we went to New York and we were in the Barbie department at FAO Schwarz and they had a fantastic Barbie Shoe fountain thing...it was like a lava lamp made of Barbie Shoes. Ke$ha Barbie pointed it out to my mother and said "Watch out Nona! Mommy is going to FREAK OUT when she sees this!!!!"
I did literally shudder when I saw the fountain...and then I sat mesmerized and watched all those Barbie stilletos float around in the water...and then we went into the Barbie store there and I was in HEAVEN.
I'll admit it to you...I am a 48 year old woman who would still play with Barbies if I could...and I have my beautiful Malibu Barbie who lives on my nightstand that MarvelousMargaret gave to me this summer (a truly amazing gift from an amazing friend).
To continue with my obsession that I am insisting you share with me, I want you to feast your eyes on those beautiful illustrations by Mattel Barbie designer Robert Best. For you Project Runway fans out there he was on Season 3 I think...he has my dream job...getting to dress up Barbie all day long.
And I totally would doll myself up in any of these beautiful gowns if I was given the chance...and a lot of hair extensions...
And then there is this one...not a Robert Best but I very much dig her...
In my dreams I look like these Barbies...all perfectly shaped and glamorous and perfectly coiffed and with the ability to wear daring scary high heels for hours on end...
But now that I AM a Barbie girl...with the new figure and all I might just dress up as Barbie for Halloween this year...
I will go as Middle Aged Wrestling Mom Who Wants to be Glamorous and Date a Man Who Drives a Big Ass Truck Barbie...
I'm just not sure how I will get into that tiny little 8 inch dress...
But all joking aside...there is another side to all of this....
Like I said before...
How Barbie makes us feel
Because as much as I love Barbie and as much as I wanted Ke$ha Barbie to love her too and want to play with her, once she started to get older I wondered what kind of message Barbie was sending to my daughter...
Well not Barbie but rather Mattel...and the general public...
Barbie is held as one of the ideal beauties...she has flawless skin, an enviable figure that no real woman can attain, mountains of blonde perfect hair that always holds its curl and stays perfectly styled and she can wear anything and has feet that are shaped perfectly for stilettos...
And she is an astronaut architect doctor lawyer runway model fashion designer President of the United States...
I think she has also won gold medals at the Olympics and saved the world more than a few times.
NO ONE is that perfect...
or that talented
or has the energy to do all of that...
So in reality, did I really want my daughter to admire a plastic doll with an unattainable body and arms that don't really bend? (How can you be an astronaut if you can't bend your arms?)
Ke$ha Barbie has the hair...and the huge blue doe eyes...and she only stands 5 foot tall but she has a pretty cute figure and to me she is perfectly perfect (when she is not being Satan) and is as beautiful as any girl can be...and prettier than Barbie...
But I don't want her to ever think that Barbie is the ideal beauty...I think there are way more beautiful women to admire than Barbie...
My mother...
My aunts...
My sisters...
My sister in law (mother of my Bella Bella...and yes, Bella Bella is far more beautiful)
My precious nieces
My cousin's wives
My girlfriends
and then you have your usual suspects like Olivia Wilde, Beyonce, Jessica Chastain, etc...
And I'm not sure what message I sent to her 2 weeks ago when I had plastic surgery to turn me into a semi-replica of Barbie...basically turning me into "She Used to be FAT But Now is Improved by Surgery Barbie".
I thought long and hard about it...and sorta feared she would ask when she could have a boob job (thankfully she didn't and the answer will be "when you can pay for it yourself").
Was I telling her that perfection is what one must attain?
(not that I am anywhere close to perfect...but I am improved)
Was I telling her that "better" wasn't "good enough"?
Was I telling her that bigger breasts and a flat belly mean "pretty" and that smaller breasts and a bit of extra skin are not?
Was I showing her that when you don't like something about yourself you just go and change it with surgery?
Trust me...this all went through my head and still does...
But lucky for me she barely flinched and seemed to take it in stride. And when she is not being Satan she has a pretty good head on her shoulders...
So as blissfully happy as I am with my new body I do have a part of me that questions whether I was trying to achieve some ideal that I may never get to...
I know I am not trying to please a man because:
1) there is no man to please
2) most men don't think Barbie is all that hot...they realize SHE IS A DOLL
So am I trying to be a doll?
And after thinking on this quite some time I have come to the conclusion that even though I hold Barbie as one sort of ideal of beauty the REAL REASON I did this was not to look like her or to attain some sort of perfection but rather to exorcise the demon of the fat girl and to find my confidence within myself to make the OUTSIDE MATCH THE INSIDE of how I felt...
yes, I am vain...
yes, I want to be pretty...
But inside I feel like a hot sexy pretty girl and I decided to do something to make the outside look like the way I felt...
So yeah...
I'm a Barbie Girl...
and I'm ok with it...
And I TOTALLY WANT HER WARDROBE...AND THE BARBIE DREAM CAR...
Inspiration Song: "Barbie Girl" by Aqua...one of the most annoying songs ever...but like the song says, "life in plastic...it's fantastic!"...and yeah, I now am "made of plastic" so to speak...and you know what...every time I look in the mirror...IT'S FANTASTIC!
Bye Darlings...Beauty is not a plastic doll...Beauty is INSIDE OF YOU...find that inner beauty and the rest will follow...
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