I believe I can be a good blogger again...I'm so gonna try...
So what is up with me?
Hmmmmm...a lot...been busy...costumed a show (actually 2)...made myself into a showgirl for Halloween (just a party...no I did not greet Trick or Treaters dressed like an escapee from Vegas)...helped a friend move...and I'm doing college visits.
I believe I can survive the college visits with Ke$ha Barbie...I do...I believe I can...
Can you tell I am trying to convince myself?
So I am heading to Boston this week to visit some schools with Ke$ha Barbie and I am very excited to visit a city I have never been to.
I believe we will have a great time!
I believe I might be one of the only crazy people in the world who books a hotel based on the fact that not only am I getting my 3rd night free but it (the hotel) is attached to a great health club so I can still do spin class.
I believe I might be one of the only crazy people in the world who will pack spin shoes so I can do said spin classes.
I believe that just might make me get classified as "crazy" but what the hell...
Our next visit is to NYC.
The Big Apple...
I love NYC...great city...
I believe I am going to get to see an old dear friend...let's call him "Mr. Gorgeous" because he is. I hate it that he is still as beautiful today as he was when we were in middle school. I should hate him for it...but I don't...I believe I will still love him as I did all those years ago...he's incredibly fun...and he's gay so don't go thinking I am meeting "a man" because that isn't going to happen...I think his partner might have something to say about that...
I believe I can get tickets to see "Book of Mormon" while we are in NYC.
Yes, I do...I believe it can happen.
To help make it happen I called the American Express concierge service.
When the sweet concierge took my call I said:
"I want tickets to see "Book of Mormon". I know it will take an act of God. I hope your name is "God""...
She laughed.
She is doing her best to get me tickets.
I really want to see that show. So does Ke$ha Barbie.
I believe we will...
And I believe that the concierge's name is God...not really but I hope she can produce a miracle.
No, I believe she can...
I also believe I might be one of the only people I know that can end up talking about diet and exercise with a random stranger (the concierge) for 20 minutes.
Yes, I did...
Somehow we got on the subject of weight loss and I shared my story with her when she said she wants to lose 20 pounds.
I told her I believe she can do it.
And then I gave her all my secrets.
Well, they aren't really MY secrets...they are what Dimples taught me...but nonetheless I had a long conversation with her and told her that I believe she can do it.
We are friends now....I might have to see if she is on Facebook and friend her.
So yeah...I believe you can have life changing conversations with a random person on the phone.
And yes, I believe that AMEX travel services and the concierge service are totally worth what I pay for that darn card now...
Especially after she gets me tickets to "Book of Mormon".
Which, I believe, she can...
I'll let you know if her name is "God" and if she does it...
I believe in a lot of things...too many to name here...but I believe!
Inspiration Song: "I Believe" from "Book of Mormon"...the Tony Winning musical that I BELIEVE I can get tickets to. I keep saying "I believe" because I believe in the power of positive thinking. If not, I would still weigh 300 pounds...
Bye Darlings...I believe that you are all amazing...and I can't believe you read this blog!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
I Can't Drive 55
Hello Darlings...
Last night I did something I can only describe as "totally redneck".
I mean this goes up there with making "beer can in the butt of a chicken" chicken.
And lest you think I am insulting the friends who I did this with...said friends described it as "totally redneck".
So what did I do?
Last night I went to the dirt track RACES...
I went to watch my friends RowdyRoy and KuteKaren's son race his midget sprint car.
Scariest damn looking little machine I ever saw...
Their son, who I shall dub "Speed Racer" for this blog has been racing since he was like 8 years old. The kid is a driving genius. He beats adults all the time. He will one day be spraying champagne all over pretty girls at Daytona or Indy I'm quite sure...
Unlike me with Ke$ha Barbie, his parents didn't panic when he started driving REAL cars...cause he's been driving since he was like...well, 8 years old.
Now I can happily call this "redneck" cause like I said in a previous blog...I am a redneck girl myself.
But this...well this was redneck on steroids...not as redneck as say the tractor pulls or the monster truck rallies, but this was a dirt track and when the scary midget sprinter cars weren't racing they had the track full of beater cars that had been souped up.
Beater cars that looked like the "General Lee" from the Dukes of Hazzard".
I totally needed to be wearing my Daisy Dukes but instead I had opted for some khaki shorts and an "Oprah" t-shirt.
Those General Lee cars were ugly and LOUD...and I kept waiting for them to start crashing and smashing.
The took the turns fast and were often drifting on the side.
The only thing I can relate that to is the scene in "Cars" where Lightning McQueen learns to take a turn from the car voiced by Paul Newman.
So there we were in the big city of Willis and we got the red clay dirt track and plenty of women in dubious clothing.
And 4 wheelers...lotsa 4 wheelers...more on that later...
I'm pretty sure they were selling corn dogs and funnel cakes there but I avoided the snack stand.
But I could have used a beer...
or vodka...
Next time I will bring my own.
I needed it to calm myself down when I watched Speed Racer get behind the wheel of that tiny little and extremely fast machine and take it around the track. More on that later...
Rowdy Roy has a really cool trailer to haul the fast machine...
Now i have been in plenty of fancy horse trailers but this thing is like a mobile machine shop on wheels. And it is organized to the nth degree.
Very cool...
And the racing machine...capable of hitting speeds well over 100...
EXTREMELY COOL...
Here is a photo...it will not do justice to just how cool this thing is...
and sorry, it was taken with my iphone so it is not very clear.
Speed Racer and RowdyRoy have all kinds of gear and stuff to get this car ready to race...I really enjoyed seeing how they prepped it to get out and haul...well, you know...
We missed watching him race the qualifier as we were stuck in downtown Willis trying to get out of the very slow Pizza Shack (but the food was great).
So the time came for the "Main"...the big race. KuteKaren and I had watched the General Lees race so I thought I knew what to expect but I was completely unprepared for this race.
Here is Speed Racer in the car getting ready to race. You can't see his handsome (this kid is gorgeous) face but it gives you an idea of the size of this machine he drives...and he drives it very well thankyouverymuch!
So he gets into the car and RowdyRoy gets on the 4 wheeler and PUSHES the car with the 4 wheeler. I learned that you don't start those machines until you are on the track and they push them to the track with 4 wheelers. Once ready and on the track they start the cars and the noise is...
DEAFENING
Like the largest swarm of mosquitos you ever heard.
It's a buzzing noise that is hard to describe...mosquito is the best word...
So we walked out into the center of the track to watch the race from the middle of the track behind some cement barricades.
I do not recommend this viewing site at all if you get dizzy because I spent my time spinning in circles as I watched Speed Racer go around the track.
The cars started and off they went...at speeds that I can only describe as...
TERRIFYING
I spent the entire time ready to vomit (not just from the spinning but because I was incredibly scared for Speed Racer---he has flipped that thing before in a very crowded field of racers).
I wish I had vodka before watching....or a valium...or a tranquilizer gun...
As much as I loved watching him race around that track every turn he took put my heart into my throat.
I love that child.
Very much...
And I have loved him for 12 years or more so I had a hard time remaining as calm as his parents, girlfriend, sister and her very adorable boyfriend.
I'm sure he was doing well over 100 mph out there.
You know, you and I would get a helluva speeding ticket for that...not that I ever plan to try. I am the child of a man who raced cars (Daddy raced a bottle green Jag when he lived in Argentina) and Daddy had a lead foot...and I have been known to easily slip up to 80 mph when the coast is clear but once I hit 90 I get a little afraid...but maybe that is just cause I"m driving a suburban.
So the race ended in mere minutes but it felt like an eternity (the spinning might have contributed to that) and I was so very very glad when it was all over.
Speed Racer came in 3rd...a minute or two longer or had a yellow caution been thrown and he would have taken the race.
Did I mention he was racing MEN...adult men...not other kids...he is 18 but I still call that a kid?
Yea...he did GREAT!
And I was really blown away and impressed with what he could do.
I should tell you his real name because mark my word one day you will hear it in conjunction with some really important racing...but for now he will remain as anonymous on my blog as everyone else. But you will hear his name...you will KNOW his name...when they make "Cars 10" he will have his own character.
After the race was over and I had calmed down (without the help of vodka...but could have used it) I came to the realization that he does something very scary...yet thrilling...
And how to often we don't do those things that scare us and we should.
And as parents we often don't let our children do things because they are "too dangerous" or "too scary".
Now some scary and dangerous things we SHOuLD always keep our kids from doing:
drugs
drinking
driving while intoxicated or under the influence of drugs
jumping off the roof into a swimming pool
riding a motor bike without a helmet
you get the picture....
Ke$ha Barbie wants to go to art school for college. Her father finds that scary. It scares me a little too because I worry what kind of job she can get. But in the long run she needs to do it...she is an artist and she needs to pursue it...so even though it scares me I need to support her and let her do it.
She will be amazing....
But this (racing these cars) is something that some people would consider "too dangerous" to do but I can swear to you that his parents have taken every precaution to protect him...and there was an ambulance ready and able to hit the track if something happened.
It was scary to watch but my pride at watching a child I loved do something so impressive took over and even though my heart stayed in my throat and I wanted valium, I really enjoyed watching the race.
Redneck as it was...
Next time I am totally wearing my tube top and Daisy Dukes...
And I'll sneak some vodka into my drink...
And when he takes the title to some big race you can all say "I heard about that kid"...yeah, mark my words...you will...
Inspiration Song: "I Can't Drive 55" by Sammy Haggar...I love Sammy...and like my Daddy, I can't always drive 55...but I won't do 110...I'll leave that to Speed Racer
Bye Darlings...let your children do something a LITTLE scary...you never know what it could lead to...
Last night I did something I can only describe as "totally redneck".
I mean this goes up there with making "beer can in the butt of a chicken" chicken.
And lest you think I am insulting the friends who I did this with...said friends described it as "totally redneck".
So what did I do?
Last night I went to the dirt track RACES...
I went to watch my friends RowdyRoy and KuteKaren's son race his midget sprint car.
Scariest damn looking little machine I ever saw...
Their son, who I shall dub "Speed Racer" for this blog has been racing since he was like 8 years old. The kid is a driving genius. He beats adults all the time. He will one day be spraying champagne all over pretty girls at Daytona or Indy I'm quite sure...
Unlike me with Ke$ha Barbie, his parents didn't panic when he started driving REAL cars...cause he's been driving since he was like...well, 8 years old.
Now I can happily call this "redneck" cause like I said in a previous blog...I am a redneck girl myself.
But this...well this was redneck on steroids...not as redneck as say the tractor pulls or the monster truck rallies, but this was a dirt track and when the scary midget sprinter cars weren't racing they had the track full of beater cars that had been souped up.
Beater cars that looked like the "General Lee" from the Dukes of Hazzard".
I totally needed to be wearing my Daisy Dukes but instead I had opted for some khaki shorts and an "Oprah" t-shirt.
Those General Lee cars were ugly and LOUD...and I kept waiting for them to start crashing and smashing.
The took the turns fast and were often drifting on the side.
The only thing I can relate that to is the scene in "Cars" where Lightning McQueen learns to take a turn from the car voiced by Paul Newman.
So there we were in the big city of Willis and we got the red clay dirt track and plenty of women in dubious clothing.
And 4 wheelers...lotsa 4 wheelers...more on that later...
I'm pretty sure they were selling corn dogs and funnel cakes there but I avoided the snack stand.
But I could have used a beer...
or vodka...
Next time I will bring my own.
I needed it to calm myself down when I watched Speed Racer get behind the wheel of that tiny little and extremely fast machine and take it around the track. More on that later...
Rowdy Roy has a really cool trailer to haul the fast machine...
Now i have been in plenty of fancy horse trailers but this thing is like a mobile machine shop on wheels. And it is organized to the nth degree.
Very cool...
And the racing machine...capable of hitting speeds well over 100...
EXTREMELY COOL...
Here is a photo...it will not do justice to just how cool this thing is...
and sorry, it was taken with my iphone so it is not very clear.
Speed Racer and RowdyRoy have all kinds of gear and stuff to get this car ready to race...I really enjoyed seeing how they prepped it to get out and haul...well, you know...
We missed watching him race the qualifier as we were stuck in downtown Willis trying to get out of the very slow Pizza Shack (but the food was great).
So the time came for the "Main"...the big race. KuteKaren and I had watched the General Lees race so I thought I knew what to expect but I was completely unprepared for this race.
Here is Speed Racer in the car getting ready to race. You can't see his handsome (this kid is gorgeous) face but it gives you an idea of the size of this machine he drives...and he drives it very well thankyouverymuch!
So he gets into the car and RowdyRoy gets on the 4 wheeler and PUSHES the car with the 4 wheeler. I learned that you don't start those machines until you are on the track and they push them to the track with 4 wheelers. Once ready and on the track they start the cars and the noise is...
DEAFENING
Like the largest swarm of mosquitos you ever heard.
It's a buzzing noise that is hard to describe...mosquito is the best word...
So we walked out into the center of the track to watch the race from the middle of the track behind some cement barricades.
I do not recommend this viewing site at all if you get dizzy because I spent my time spinning in circles as I watched Speed Racer go around the track.
The cars started and off they went...at speeds that I can only describe as...
TERRIFYING
I spent the entire time ready to vomit (not just from the spinning but because I was incredibly scared for Speed Racer---he has flipped that thing before in a very crowded field of racers).
I wish I had vodka before watching....or a valium...or a tranquilizer gun...
As much as I loved watching him race around that track every turn he took put my heart into my throat.
I love that child.
Very much...
And I have loved him for 12 years or more so I had a hard time remaining as calm as his parents, girlfriend, sister and her very adorable boyfriend.
I'm sure he was doing well over 100 mph out there.
You know, you and I would get a helluva speeding ticket for that...not that I ever plan to try. I am the child of a man who raced cars (Daddy raced a bottle green Jag when he lived in Argentina) and Daddy had a lead foot...and I have been known to easily slip up to 80 mph when the coast is clear but once I hit 90 I get a little afraid...but maybe that is just cause I"m driving a suburban.
So the race ended in mere minutes but it felt like an eternity (the spinning might have contributed to that) and I was so very very glad when it was all over.
Speed Racer came in 3rd...a minute or two longer or had a yellow caution been thrown and he would have taken the race.
Did I mention he was racing MEN...adult men...not other kids...he is 18 but I still call that a kid?
Yea...he did GREAT!
And I was really blown away and impressed with what he could do.
I should tell you his real name because mark my word one day you will hear it in conjunction with some really important racing...but for now he will remain as anonymous on my blog as everyone else. But you will hear his name...you will KNOW his name...when they make "Cars 10" he will have his own character.
After the race was over and I had calmed down (without the help of vodka...but could have used it) I came to the realization that he does something very scary...yet thrilling...
And how to often we don't do those things that scare us and we should.
And as parents we often don't let our children do things because they are "too dangerous" or "too scary".
Now some scary and dangerous things we SHOuLD always keep our kids from doing:
drugs
drinking
driving while intoxicated or under the influence of drugs
jumping off the roof into a swimming pool
riding a motor bike without a helmet
you get the picture....
Ke$ha Barbie wants to go to art school for college. Her father finds that scary. It scares me a little too because I worry what kind of job she can get. But in the long run she needs to do it...she is an artist and she needs to pursue it...so even though it scares me I need to support her and let her do it.
She will be amazing....
But this (racing these cars) is something that some people would consider "too dangerous" to do but I can swear to you that his parents have taken every precaution to protect him...and there was an ambulance ready and able to hit the track if something happened.
It was scary to watch but my pride at watching a child I loved do something so impressive took over and even though my heart stayed in my throat and I wanted valium, I really enjoyed watching the race.
Redneck as it was...
Next time I am totally wearing my tube top and Daisy Dukes...
And I'll sneak some vodka into my drink...
And when he takes the title to some big race you can all say "I heard about that kid"...yeah, mark my words...you will...
Inspiration Song: "I Can't Drive 55" by Sammy Haggar...I love Sammy...and like my Daddy, I can't always drive 55...but I won't do 110...I'll leave that to Speed Racer
Bye Darlings...let your children do something a LITTLE scary...you never know what it could lead to...
Sunday, September 25, 2011
All That's Known
I know one thing for sure...I have ignored this blog...
My children are back in the full swing of school. They are learning new things every day.
I hope they never stop learning...because I know I learn new things every day myself.
Sometimes the things I learn are really important...like:
no matter how long she is gone, I will miss my mother daily
that missing watching your son score a touchdown can make you cry...even if he says "it's ok Mom" and you missed it because you were helping his sister with something important
that senior year is hard on your child...and you...because you know she is leaving...
that boys are so much easier than girls when it comes to getting dressed for dances
that it is waaaaay to easy to shop on Amazon...just click and it's yours...too easy...
that being "there" for a friend feels good...
Some lessons I am learning have to do with me NOW...like:
I don't mind getting into my bed and it's just me...I don't mind being alone there...
If I eat one cookie, I will eat two...
Cheese is kryptonite to me...so is wine...I have a lot of kryptonite
that if I don't work out, I feel "ick"...and like a slug
that spin class is much more fun than working out on a machine
that Dimples is doing his best to make me move...even when my knees don't want to
that I may never be a size 6...but I am pretty happy at an 8
I miss Oprah...I really do...
Some lessons I am learning are "practical" ones...in the past week I have learned:
that if you put bananas in a paper bag with an apple or two they will ripen up quickly
that pulling my hair back into a headband and clipping it is stressing my hair and making it break off
Nordstrom is kryptonite to me...I need to stay out of there
watching my son play football is not as horrifying as I always thought it would be...sometimes he flat out amazes me...
banana bread is easy to make...recipe on bottom of blog...bad for you...
my chicken spaghetti is worth the 1000 calories per serving that it is...but you can't eat much of it...no, not sharing that recipe today...I will not contribute to your downfall...
And then I have learned some fun and funny lessons...
wielding a glue gun while tanked up on wine makes you put rhinestones all over your Halloween costume...and it ends up as a hot mess and not hotness...mine looks like a 4th grade art project...
a corset can give you a really shapely figure...but hell to the no I'm not wearing one except for Halloween...that is when you have permission to dress like a sleaze...
dirty martinis are safe to drink...White Russians...notsomuch...
don't sunbathe topeless unless you know the pool boy will NOT be there...
if you hit a big huge cockroach with your shoe and he is above you he will fall on you...
Well, you get the picture...whether is is learning how to use a function on my computer or that wine and a glue gun don't mix, I do learn things every day. And I hope to keep learning. I'm learning things about myself, about my children, about life...
So today I learned to make banana bread. I am NOT a baker...but AngelAmy made some incredible banana bread the other night and the kids were begging for more so she gave me the recipe...since it is in a cookbook I don't think she will mind me sharing it with you...I hope mine turns out as good as hers because hers was amazing....
So here you go....
Best Damn Banana Bread Ever
2 sticks Fleishman's margarine (AngelAmy insists on it)
2 cups sugar
6 very ripe bananas (see my lesson above on how to ripe)
4 eggs
2 1/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla
pecans...optional....
Cream together the sugar and margarine.
Mash bananas and add to creamed margarine/sugar mixture. Once incorporated, add the eggs one at a time.
In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to banana mixture. Mix well. Add in vanilla. Add pecans if you wish...or walnuts...
Pour into 2 greased and floured loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees or until done.
Voila...you have the best damn banana bread ever...
Inspiration Song: "All That's Known"...from the Spring Awakening Cast Album...sung by the amazing Jonathan Groff (who was on Glee)...one of the best musicals I have ever seen...incredible music...incredible voices...Lea Michelle (also of Glee) is on the album too...
Bye Darlings....learn something new today...and share it with me...I need to keep learning...
My children are back in the full swing of school. They are learning new things every day.
I hope they never stop learning...because I know I learn new things every day myself.
Sometimes the things I learn are really important...like:
no matter how long she is gone, I will miss my mother daily
that missing watching your son score a touchdown can make you cry...even if he says "it's ok Mom" and you missed it because you were helping his sister with something important
that senior year is hard on your child...and you...because you know she is leaving...
that boys are so much easier than girls when it comes to getting dressed for dances
that it is waaaaay to easy to shop on Amazon...just click and it's yours...too easy...
that being "there" for a friend feels good...
Some lessons I am learning have to do with me NOW...like:
I don't mind getting into my bed and it's just me...I don't mind being alone there...
If I eat one cookie, I will eat two...
Cheese is kryptonite to me...so is wine...I have a lot of kryptonite
that if I don't work out, I feel "ick"...and like a slug
that spin class is much more fun than working out on a machine
that Dimples is doing his best to make me move...even when my knees don't want to
that I may never be a size 6...but I am pretty happy at an 8
I miss Oprah...I really do...
Some lessons I am learning are "practical" ones...in the past week I have learned:
that if you put bananas in a paper bag with an apple or two they will ripen up quickly
that pulling my hair back into a headband and clipping it is stressing my hair and making it break off
Nordstrom is kryptonite to me...I need to stay out of there
watching my son play football is not as horrifying as I always thought it would be...sometimes he flat out amazes me...
banana bread is easy to make...recipe on bottom of blog...bad for you...
my chicken spaghetti is worth the 1000 calories per serving that it is...but you can't eat much of it...no, not sharing that recipe today...I will not contribute to your downfall...
And then I have learned some fun and funny lessons...
wielding a glue gun while tanked up on wine makes you put rhinestones all over your Halloween costume...and it ends up as a hot mess and not hotness...mine looks like a 4th grade art project...
a corset can give you a really shapely figure...but hell to the no I'm not wearing one except for Halloween...that is when you have permission to dress like a sleaze...
dirty martinis are safe to drink...White Russians...notsomuch...
don't sunbathe topeless unless you know the pool boy will NOT be there...
if you hit a big huge cockroach with your shoe and he is above you he will fall on you...
Well, you get the picture...whether is is learning how to use a function on my computer or that wine and a glue gun don't mix, I do learn things every day. And I hope to keep learning. I'm learning things about myself, about my children, about life...
So today I learned to make banana bread. I am NOT a baker...but AngelAmy made some incredible banana bread the other night and the kids were begging for more so she gave me the recipe...since it is in a cookbook I don't think she will mind me sharing it with you...I hope mine turns out as good as hers because hers was amazing....
So here you go....
Best Damn Banana Bread Ever
2 sticks Fleishman's margarine (AngelAmy insists on it)
2 cups sugar
6 very ripe bananas (see my lesson above on how to ripe)
4 eggs
2 1/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla
pecans...optional....
Cream together the sugar and margarine.
Mash bananas and add to creamed margarine/sugar mixture. Once incorporated, add the eggs one at a time.
In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to banana mixture. Mix well. Add in vanilla. Add pecans if you wish...or walnuts...
Pour into 2 greased and floured loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees or until done.
Voila...you have the best damn banana bread ever...
Inspiration Song: "All That's Known"...from the Spring Awakening Cast Album...sung by the amazing Jonathan Groff (who was on Glee)...one of the best musicals I have ever seen...incredible music...incredible voices...Lea Michelle (also of Glee) is on the album too...
Bye Darlings....learn something new today...and share it with me...I need to keep learning...
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Irresistible Force
Another paradox for you...
What happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object?
Sometimes I feel like I am both sides of that paradox...
Dimples will often tell you that I am an unmovable object...heck we argued our way through our last workout because I kept saying "no" to him...and I am usually so compliant...
but that day I was not moving....much...
he wanted me to do this lifting machine thing...I did it but complained my way through it.
I think he often feels like I have been put on this earth to put him through hell.
ha!
I am a very stubborn woman.
Hence...the immovable object.
If I don't wanna do it...I don't....most of the time.
I remember times that I was sent to my room as punishment when I was a child. My father would come to my room to "release" me...but I would stubbornly stay in there just to make sure he didn't get the satisfaction of me gaining my freedom because of him. I left when I was good and ready and it was MY idea to leave my room.
Sometimes that was one hour or more...sometimes it was one minute.
He used to call me "mule"...for good reason.
I may be blonde...but I am a hard-headed blonde.
I think my father must have thought I was put on earth to give him hell.
Ke$ha Barbie is a lot like me....we both fight to have the last word in an argument. It's often not very pretty. No one wins...we just end up frustrating each other.
So these days I try to be the grownup and I let her have the last word because I know she won't stop until she does...
But under my breath I say what I want...and I get the last word in my head.
I'm sure she thinks I was put on this earth to give her hell...what teenage girl doesn't?
And yes, there are times I think God gave her to me on this earth to give me hell...because she does...
I'm sure my ex feels the same...about me...because I would often do things to push his buttons just because I wasn't going to give in...
hence...a divorce...
I'm sure any man who decides he is brave enough to take up with me will get the same treatment and refer to me as "Valdemort" or "the witch I am dating"...both will apply...
I DO have witch powers you know...just ask the coaches at school...and GOTT...
Now as to the unstoppable force part of the paradox...
Well, if you are my friend or a reader of this blog you know that when I put my mind to something I pretty much do it.
You don't lose 138 pounds in 15 months (without drugs or surgery) without being pretty determined.
When I see something I want I pretty much go after it.
Be it my desire to lose weight, an object on eBay, or the new dress I ordered from Macy's that is from the new collection Karl Lagerfeld did for them (have you seen those clothes? OMG!)
But I'm not just an unstoppable object...I have many irresistible forces in my life:
shoes
Michael Kors shoes
cheese
wine (mostly red...and if it is "Rapture" then make it 2...)
my children's smiles
makeup
Sephora
pink or red lipstick
glitter
sequins
wine
wine
wine
cheese
a very rare filet
coaches (I am always taking care of coaches...)
GOTT
children on stage
Stoli Vodka
wine
wine
wine
dark chocolate
shoes
cheese
a kid calling saying "Mama D can you help me?"
my children
wine
Stoli Vodka
my children
wine
cheese
shoes
my children
yea...that is pretty much my list of "Kryptonite to Anice"...there are a few more things but I think I will keep them private...for now...
You all know I love me some shoes...especially Michael Kors heels...that's a given...never met a pair I didn't like...
As for the wine...well, that is pretty well documented as well. Right now my obsession is "Rapture" by Michael David...too divine for words...I bought a case...not kidding...
And cheese...truly an irresistible force for me. The other night at "Meet the Coaches" night there was a cheese tray. I resisted it until Coach...oh, let's call him "Coach Smiles" cause he has a nice smile and makes me laugh...I was good until Coach Smiles says "try this one"...well, my friend who was standing nearby said "Uh Oh" and it was all over...yes, my hand reached out and once that smoked gouda hit my mouth...Uh Oh...
I ate so much cheese that night it was basically my dinner.
The rest of the list is pretty self-explanatory.
And my children...well, they are the most irresistible force of all...
By the way, irresistible is a very hard word to type....just sayin'
But I look at it this way...a little of something bad for you isn't always bad. After all, that is how the theory of allergy shots works...So I just keep my kryptonite to small doses...
But when cheese meets stubborn woman...Dimmples has hell on earth!!!!!
Inspiration Song: "Irresistible Force" by Jane's Addiction...very cool song...watch for it cropping up on all kinds of tv commercials...
Bye Darlings...give in to your kryptonite...your irresistible force...sometimes you just have to. I've given into mine...I just make sure I don't take in too much of the kryptonite...or I really will be an immovable object!
What happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object?
Sometimes I feel like I am both sides of that paradox...
Dimples will often tell you that I am an unmovable object...heck we argued our way through our last workout because I kept saying "no" to him...and I am usually so compliant...
but that day I was not moving....much...
he wanted me to do this lifting machine thing...I did it but complained my way through it.
I think he often feels like I have been put on this earth to put him through hell.
ha!
I am a very stubborn woman.
Hence...the immovable object.
If I don't wanna do it...I don't....most of the time.
I remember times that I was sent to my room as punishment when I was a child. My father would come to my room to "release" me...but I would stubbornly stay in there just to make sure he didn't get the satisfaction of me gaining my freedom because of him. I left when I was good and ready and it was MY idea to leave my room.
Sometimes that was one hour or more...sometimes it was one minute.
He used to call me "mule"...for good reason.
I may be blonde...but I am a hard-headed blonde.
I think my father must have thought I was put on earth to give him hell.
Ke$ha Barbie is a lot like me....we both fight to have the last word in an argument. It's often not very pretty. No one wins...we just end up frustrating each other.
So these days I try to be the grownup and I let her have the last word because I know she won't stop until she does...
But under my breath I say what I want...and I get the last word in my head.
I'm sure she thinks I was put on this earth to give her hell...what teenage girl doesn't?
And yes, there are times I think God gave her to me on this earth to give me hell...because she does...
I'm sure my ex feels the same...about me...because I would often do things to push his buttons just because I wasn't going to give in...
hence...a divorce...
I'm sure any man who decides he is brave enough to take up with me will get the same treatment and refer to me as "Valdemort" or "the witch I am dating"...both will apply...
I DO have witch powers you know...just ask the coaches at school...and GOTT...
Now as to the unstoppable force part of the paradox...
Well, if you are my friend or a reader of this blog you know that when I put my mind to something I pretty much do it.
You don't lose 138 pounds in 15 months (without drugs or surgery) without being pretty determined.
When I see something I want I pretty much go after it.
Be it my desire to lose weight, an object on eBay, or the new dress I ordered from Macy's that is from the new collection Karl Lagerfeld did for them (have you seen those clothes? OMG!)
But I'm not just an unstoppable object...I have many irresistible forces in my life:
shoes
Michael Kors shoes
cheese
wine (mostly red...and if it is "Rapture" then make it 2...)
my children's smiles
makeup
Sephora
pink or red lipstick
glitter
sequins
wine
wine
wine
cheese
a very rare filet
coaches (I am always taking care of coaches...)
GOTT
children on stage
Stoli Vodka
wine
wine
wine
dark chocolate
shoes
cheese
a kid calling saying "Mama D can you help me?"
my children
wine
Stoli Vodka
my children
wine
cheese
shoes
my children
yea...that is pretty much my list of "Kryptonite to Anice"...there are a few more things but I think I will keep them private...for now...
You all know I love me some shoes...especially Michael Kors heels...that's a given...never met a pair I didn't like...
As for the wine...well, that is pretty well documented as well. Right now my obsession is "Rapture" by Michael David...too divine for words...I bought a case...not kidding...
And cheese...truly an irresistible force for me. The other night at "Meet the Coaches" night there was a cheese tray. I resisted it until Coach...oh, let's call him "Coach Smiles" cause he has a nice smile and makes me laugh...I was good until Coach Smiles says "try this one"...well, my friend who was standing nearby said "Uh Oh" and it was all over...yes, my hand reached out and once that smoked gouda hit my mouth...Uh Oh...
I ate so much cheese that night it was basically my dinner.
The rest of the list is pretty self-explanatory.
And my children...well, they are the most irresistible force of all...
By the way, irresistible is a very hard word to type....just sayin'
But I look at it this way...a little of something bad for you isn't always bad. After all, that is how the theory of allergy shots works...So I just keep my kryptonite to small doses...
But when cheese meets stubborn woman...Dimmples has hell on earth!!!!!
Inspiration Song: "Irresistible Force" by Jane's Addiction...very cool song...watch for it cropping up on all kinds of tv commercials...
Bye Darlings...give in to your kryptonite...your irresistible force...sometimes you just have to. I've given into mine...I just make sure I don't take in too much of the kryptonite...or I really will be an immovable object!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Everlasting Light
Every once in a while my children do something that truly surprises me...
I mean, I pretty much know what to expect from them: Ke$ha Barbie is going to try my patience, push my buttons, argue with me like a $500/hour lawyer, and often leave me convinced that I am an idiot. I know this because I am pretty damn sure I did the same thing to my dear mother.
And my son...I know what to expect from The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW): he will be sweet, kind, avoid conflict, get his feelings hurt pretty easily, and is pretty level headed. Oh, and he likes to hit things...a lot...
So on Monday when Ke$ha Barbie came downstairs and produced her 8th grade tie for me to see, well, I was flabbergasted.
Because you see, I told her a little over 3 years ago to keep that tie for her brother so that she could present him with it at HIS 8th grade tie ceremony.
(A little explanation here...at my children's school, which is a K-8, the children wear a "dress uniform" on Mondays which consists of pants (or skirt for girls), oxford shirt, and a tie...and a jacket for middle school. The children all wear the same striped tie EXCEPT for the 8th graders who get to wear a special tie...so they have a ceremony where they receive their special ties...and if you have a family member who went to the school that family member presents the tie to you...otherwise it is the headmaster)
I mean, that tie survived 2 floods, a hurricane, a remodel, and the disaster that we all lovingly call her bedroom but I really think it should be declared a toxic waste dump.
She rarely leaves me speechless...in a good way that is...and this time I was.
I just looked at her, started to cry, and told her I loved her...and I loved her for doing that for her brother.
So we go to school and bless her heart she has an AP Biology test 3rd period and if that ceremony lasts very long she is going to not get back to high school in time to take it and be in some trouble...but the ceremony got underway and I cried as I watched my son walk up to the stage as an 8th grader. When Ke$ha Barbie started at that school in pre-school I was barely pregnant with TCBITW and I spent most of my time in the carpool line trying not to vomit from morning sickness. Very often the teacher would open the car door to get Ke$ha Barbie out and I would hold up my hand (in the international sign of "please don't talk to me") because I feared I was going to upchuck whatever I had managed to force down myself for breakfast. So I have been driving to that school for 14 years now...
When it was time for TCBITW to receive his tie Ke$ha Barbie climbed up the steps to the stage, showed the headmaster she had her own tie, and she proudly put it on his neck. And he beamed at his sister as she did it...a quick hug and she was gone...to take that AP Bio test...
I can honestly say it was one of the proudest moments of my life...because it was their moment. It was not mine...I just watched it...but they had that very special moment where she got to show him how much she loved and cared about him even if all she did was put a tie around his neck...
But it was magic....
Because....
she saved that tie through all of the flooding, remodeling, and a damn hurricane...
and they used to fight like cats and dogs and now they get along beautifully...
and they both were lovely lights up there, at least to me...
and she took time to do something that meant so much to her brother...
and he got his tie from the one person in the world he loves without prejudice or judgement..
and it is a moment that they will never forget...even if they don't know that yet...
My children often make me very proud, but on Monday they made my heart burst.
They light up my world...
They are my everlasting lights...
Inspiration Song: "Everlasting Light" by the Black Keys
Bye Darlings...love whatever lights up your world...
I mean, I pretty much know what to expect from them: Ke$ha Barbie is going to try my patience, push my buttons, argue with me like a $500/hour lawyer, and often leave me convinced that I am an idiot. I know this because I am pretty damn sure I did the same thing to my dear mother.
And my son...I know what to expect from The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW): he will be sweet, kind, avoid conflict, get his feelings hurt pretty easily, and is pretty level headed. Oh, and he likes to hit things...a lot...
So on Monday when Ke$ha Barbie came downstairs and produced her 8th grade tie for me to see, well, I was flabbergasted.
Because you see, I told her a little over 3 years ago to keep that tie for her brother so that she could present him with it at HIS 8th grade tie ceremony.
(A little explanation here...at my children's school, which is a K-8, the children wear a "dress uniform" on Mondays which consists of pants (or skirt for girls), oxford shirt, and a tie...and a jacket for middle school. The children all wear the same striped tie EXCEPT for the 8th graders who get to wear a special tie...so they have a ceremony where they receive their special ties...and if you have a family member who went to the school that family member presents the tie to you...otherwise it is the headmaster)
I mean, that tie survived 2 floods, a hurricane, a remodel, and the disaster that we all lovingly call her bedroom but I really think it should be declared a toxic waste dump.
She rarely leaves me speechless...in a good way that is...and this time I was.
I just looked at her, started to cry, and told her I loved her...and I loved her for doing that for her brother.
So we go to school and bless her heart she has an AP Biology test 3rd period and if that ceremony lasts very long she is going to not get back to high school in time to take it and be in some trouble...but the ceremony got underway and I cried as I watched my son walk up to the stage as an 8th grader. When Ke$ha Barbie started at that school in pre-school I was barely pregnant with TCBITW and I spent most of my time in the carpool line trying not to vomit from morning sickness. Very often the teacher would open the car door to get Ke$ha Barbie out and I would hold up my hand (in the international sign of "please don't talk to me") because I feared I was going to upchuck whatever I had managed to force down myself for breakfast. So I have been driving to that school for 14 years now...
When it was time for TCBITW to receive his tie Ke$ha Barbie climbed up the steps to the stage, showed the headmaster she had her own tie, and she proudly put it on his neck. And he beamed at his sister as she did it...a quick hug and she was gone...to take that AP Bio test...
I can honestly say it was one of the proudest moments of my life...because it was their moment. It was not mine...I just watched it...but they had that very special moment where she got to show him how much she loved and cared about him even if all she did was put a tie around his neck...
But it was magic....
Because....
she saved that tie through all of the flooding, remodeling, and a damn hurricane...
and they used to fight like cats and dogs and now they get along beautifully...
and they both were lovely lights up there, at least to me...
and she took time to do something that meant so much to her brother...
and he got his tie from the one person in the world he loves without prejudice or judgement..
and it is a moment that they will never forget...even if they don't know that yet...
My children often make me very proud, but on Monday they made my heart burst.
They light up my world...
They are my everlasting lights...
Inspiration Song: "Everlasting Light" by the Black Keys
Bye Darlings...love whatever lights up your world...
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Back in the Saddle
So if you are friends with me on facebook and saw my status last week, you know what I did on Saturday...
And for those of you who aren't may facebook friends, or if you didn't see my status...well...I'll tell you...
Last Saturday...
I became certified...
to be...
a...
SPIN INSTRUCTOR!!!
Woo hoo!
Go me...
I think it is the perfect way to celebrate my fitness. I mean, after all, going from being the fat chick who couldn't climb the stairs without losing my breath to the chick who can make everyone in the class lose their breath...
Well, you know, that's just the bomb!
So there you have it.
I can now force my friends to come to my spin class and listen to my crazy music while I make them suffer and sweat.
I think that makes me an awesome friend...
I gotta give a shout-out to a few people who helped me get here...
First and foremost...my Dimples....my sweet Dimples who got me fit enough to do it!
And Trainer Girl...who told me, after I accidently taught a spin class, that I should REALLY teach a spin class.
And JayVee...who told me when the class was and told me I needed to sign up for it and do it!
And J'taime Jamie who always inspires me and supports me!
And AngelAmy who has had my back since high school...and who kindly checked up on me after to make sure I hadn't died and that she still had a friend...
And...oh, I need a good name for this friend...I could call him the Spin King since he teaches spin at the top gym in LA, but he's better than that...and I have known him my whole life...and he inspires me a lot (he inspired the blog "Freedom 90")...so I have to call him...oh heck, he gets a stupid name because he has known me for too long...
TomTom...there ya go...and darling you know who you are...and I am doing a double name because he has twin sons!
So TomTom was my inspiration...and I can't wait to go to LA and take his class! And meet his family...and he's just the best and handsomest guy...so having him support me means the world!
So thank you to my team that got me to want to be back in the saddle all the time!
So I got a little lost on my way to Kingwood for the class but I eventually managed to find my way thanks to my iPhone...so that is one more thank you...thank you to whoever invented the iPhone and the map app!
I get to the YMCA where the instructor certification class is and I see this really cute gal walking in with a spin instructor manual. She asks if I know where to go and I said "no" but assure her we will find it together. We chat a bit and introduce ourselves...her name is...well, I'm gonna call her Spin Angel cause she and I met in spin class and she is also a Pi Phi like me...
So we walk into the class and the instructor calls Spin Angel's first name...and then she says her last name.
The same last name belonging to my brother's best friend...
Bingo...
Small world connection made...it is not a name like "Smith" or "Jones"...
So I ask her if she is married to the bro's bestie and sure enough...
Bingo...
It's a small world after all....(oh, I promise not to name a blog after THAT song)...
So we instantly connect and are excited that we get to do this together!
So class starts and we spend an hour learning how to set up the bikes.
I wish I was joking...
Then we spend an hour and half on the bikes...it was a pretty fun ride but I was ready to get off!!!!
We broke for lunch and did some classroom work. The best part was when we discussed music...cause you know me and my music.
So now I have several members of the class emailing me for music suggestions and playlists...
Woo hoo....
Go me....
Class time ends and we go back for one last awesome ride...one hour...
So needless to say I was one tired little princess after that. I said goodbye to my new friend Spin Angel and I am so glad to have her in my life...
but after that...
I wanted alcohol...and a shower...and my bed....
in that order...
I have my priorities and alcohol comes before the shower...
But no....I had still had a football scrimmage to try my best to blast my way to...so I changed clothes and headed back to my part of town to watch The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW) hit and tackle people...and he even got to run with the ball!
Woo hoo...
Go TCBITW!
So Saturday was a great day...I got to prove to myself that I could turn my life around and no longer be the fat chick that got out of breath just walking and I got to watch my son show me and remind me that determination is what you need...because he is a lot smaller than a lot of the boys he goes up against...but he hits em hard and knocks em down...and he doesn't let them stop him...
So I'm not gonna let anything stop me...
So come and take my class (when i finally start teaching)
If
You
Dare
Inspiration Song: "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith...because back in the saddle is where I like to be...and because I have had one guy offer to let me teach at his gym...and he used to play that song at the start of every spin class when he taught...
Bye Darlings...get back in the saddle and don't let anything stop you!
And for those of you who aren't may facebook friends, or if you didn't see my status...well...I'll tell you...
Last Saturday...
I became certified...
to be...
a...
SPIN INSTRUCTOR!!!
Woo hoo!
Go me...
I think it is the perfect way to celebrate my fitness. I mean, after all, going from being the fat chick who couldn't climb the stairs without losing my breath to the chick who can make everyone in the class lose their breath...
Well, you know, that's just the bomb!
So there you have it.
I can now force my friends to come to my spin class and listen to my crazy music while I make them suffer and sweat.
I think that makes me an awesome friend...
I gotta give a shout-out to a few people who helped me get here...
First and foremost...my Dimples....my sweet Dimples who got me fit enough to do it!
And Trainer Girl...who told me, after I accidently taught a spin class, that I should REALLY teach a spin class.
And JayVee...who told me when the class was and told me I needed to sign up for it and do it!
And J'taime Jamie who always inspires me and supports me!
And AngelAmy who has had my back since high school...and who kindly checked up on me after to make sure I hadn't died and that she still had a friend...
And...oh, I need a good name for this friend...I could call him the Spin King since he teaches spin at the top gym in LA, but he's better than that...and I have known him my whole life...and he inspires me a lot (he inspired the blog "Freedom 90")...so I have to call him...oh heck, he gets a stupid name because he has known me for too long...
TomTom...there ya go...and darling you know who you are...and I am doing a double name because he has twin sons!
So TomTom was my inspiration...and I can't wait to go to LA and take his class! And meet his family...and he's just the best and handsomest guy...so having him support me means the world!
So thank you to my team that got me to want to be back in the saddle all the time!
So I got a little lost on my way to Kingwood for the class but I eventually managed to find my way thanks to my iPhone...so that is one more thank you...thank you to whoever invented the iPhone and the map app!
I get to the YMCA where the instructor certification class is and I see this really cute gal walking in with a spin instructor manual. She asks if I know where to go and I said "no" but assure her we will find it together. We chat a bit and introduce ourselves...her name is...well, I'm gonna call her Spin Angel cause she and I met in spin class and she is also a Pi Phi like me...
So we walk into the class and the instructor calls Spin Angel's first name...and then she says her last name.
The same last name belonging to my brother's best friend...
Bingo...
Small world connection made...it is not a name like "Smith" or "Jones"...
So I ask her if she is married to the bro's bestie and sure enough...
Bingo...
It's a small world after all....(oh, I promise not to name a blog after THAT song)...
So we instantly connect and are excited that we get to do this together!
So class starts and we spend an hour learning how to set up the bikes.
I wish I was joking...
Then we spend an hour and half on the bikes...it was a pretty fun ride but I was ready to get off!!!!
We broke for lunch and did some classroom work. The best part was when we discussed music...cause you know me and my music.
So now I have several members of the class emailing me for music suggestions and playlists...
Woo hoo....
Go me....
Class time ends and we go back for one last awesome ride...one hour...
So needless to say I was one tired little princess after that. I said goodbye to my new friend Spin Angel and I am so glad to have her in my life...
but after that...
I wanted alcohol...and a shower...and my bed....
in that order...
I have my priorities and alcohol comes before the shower...
But no....I had still had a football scrimmage to try my best to blast my way to...so I changed clothes and headed back to my part of town to watch The Cutest Boy in the World (TCBITW) hit and tackle people...and he even got to run with the ball!
Woo hoo...
Go TCBITW!
So Saturday was a great day...I got to prove to myself that I could turn my life around and no longer be the fat chick that got out of breath just walking and I got to watch my son show me and remind me that determination is what you need...because he is a lot smaller than a lot of the boys he goes up against...but he hits em hard and knocks em down...and he doesn't let them stop him...
So I'm not gonna let anything stop me...
So come and take my class (when i finally start teaching)
If
You
Dare
Inspiration Song: "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith...because back in the saddle is where I like to be...and because I have had one guy offer to let me teach at his gym...and he used to play that song at the start of every spin class when he taught...
Bye Darlings...get back in the saddle and don't let anything stop you!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)
Right now I have about a dozen teenagers in my backyard.
Only one of them belongs to me...the rest just think they do.
One of them brought firecrackers...
yes, firecrackers.
I think that is against the law.
Not having them...just shooting them off. Which is what they are doing.
I have told them that if I hear one more go off I will banish them from my property.
Seriously...
So since I am up and making sure that none of them help themselves to my wine or Stoli vodka I thought I would blog about...nothing...but whatever...I'm blogging.
So I will tell you about my weekend. The teenagers being here is a fitting end to it...
Because it was a very good weekend...minus the dozen teenagers and the firecrackers.
So Friday was the first of a two-part celebration of my sister-wife GOTTESS' birthday. We call each other sister-wife because we share GOTT...she's married to him but I'm the "work wife" so there ya go.
So GOTTESS is celebrating the anniversary of her 25th birthday. I won't tell you what anniversary but in any case it is a very fun number and she looks at least 10 years younger than her driver's license shows. GOTTESS is HOT!
So she decides that we need a rock star weekend. So she buys tickets to the Katy Perry concert for her and 5 friends.
And she rents us the Rock Star Suite at the Hotel ZaZa.
OMG
OMG
OMG
We lived and partied like rock stars.
I picked her up to go to the hotel. We both were toting food and wine.
She had been informed by the hotel that outside food and beverages were not welcome at the hotel.
The suite has a full kitchen...
So Lucy has some 'splainin to do as to why there is a kitchen (with a Sub Zero fridge/freezer, cooktop, dishwasher and oven) but no food...
We decided to take our chances and brought in our own snackage.
So we get to the hotel and go up to the suite...OMG...
Here are a few more photos...they don't do it justice...
Suffice it to say that I don't think Elton John would complain.
It was awesome...study, living room, dining room, kitchen (use that useless set of appliances that you can't use), 2 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths.
And a view of downtown that was breathtaking.
And a whole lotta chandeliers....
We squealed like 12 year old girls who had just gotten on an elevator with Justin Bieber...
First order of business...put up the food and put on our suits so we can head to the pool.
SuSu (one of GOTTESS' besties) joined us and we headed down to the pool for some adult beverages and some sun.
(We interrupt this blog for a brief special report...for the last 2 minutes Ke$ha Barbie's car alarm has gone off and any second now I expect the police at my door...between that and firecrackers I'm sure my neighbors hate me...I'm banishing the teenagers).
So back to GOTTESS' celebration...
GOTT joins us...he is our chauffeur for the night...I think we confused every other guest at the pool because we all kept calling him our husband. Our own little version of "Big Love"...
After a few tasty mojitos (I recommend the "blue" version with blackberries and blueberries muddled with the mint) we went upstairs and ate and did the best version of a rush job "let's look hot" that we could...
Here is a photo of me...not very good...sadly does not show the fabulous sparkly shoes I wore (that really killed my feet) or my crazy blue nail polish...I haven't asked the other girls if it is ok to post their photos so you just get me...it was windy...my hair was "meh"...dress rocked tho....
So the world's handsomest and best chauffeur (GOTT) drove us to the concert and was very very very happy he wasn't going with us.
We grabbed a drink and headed to our seats to catch the opening act...
which was...
terrible
I think one of the girls described the girl (her name was Robyn...I pray she isn't your dear friend...please know I'm sure she is very nice but she was not worthy of Katy Perry) as sounding like a cat screaming...or in heat...or both...
or maybe that is just my description...
I tried to block it...suffice it to say I will not be downloading any of her songs.
Thankfully I had enough "adult beverages" in me that I survived it...but just barely.
Finally Katy hit the stage and she totally rocked. She was great.
She was very cute and entertaining and her entire stage looked like a "Candyland" gameboard.
She made about 15 costume changes during one song (Hot & Cold)...I still don't know how she did the last one---glitter cannons went off in front of her and suddenly she was in a new dress.
AS a costume person this totally intrigued me...
So the show was great and once it was over...well, when you have 6 women who have just spent 2 hours looking at a stage full of candy we only had one thing on our minds...
The CRAVE CUPCAKES that were waiting at the suite.
So GOTT shows up to whisk us back to the suite and the cupcakes did a disappearing act.
We were joined there by a few more friends and we stayed up late playing some games and having a grand time.
At 1:30 I decided that I wanted to sleep in my own bed so since I had stopped drinking and was sober and not too tired I drove home and enjoyed my Temperpedic mattress and slept well.
Saturday I ran some errands...
And then I had my little adventure with the pool boys.
If you read my Facebook Status you know what happened...but for those of you in blogland I will repeat:
So topless sunbathing is NOT a good idea. I was laying out, getting my tan nice and even and took off my top. No one was home and no one was coming home. The pool people come on Thurday (so I thought) and it is usually a woman (so I thought) so I thought I was safe.
WRONG
WRONG
WRONG
I had my headphones in and the music was a bit loud. I closed my eyes to enjoy the sun and somewhere between a Manchester Orchestra and Joss Stone song I open my eyes to discover I am not alone.
Yes, the pool boys had arrived.
And they were boys....or at least closer to Ke$ha Barbie's age than mine.
I calmly put my top back on and tried not to die of utter mortification.
I hope they enjoyed the show.
It would have been a better show had I already let Dr. Bonnie Baldwin work her magic so instead they got...well, they got what they got...
So to get over that little lesson in humiliation I decided I better do something to improve my mood so I went and had a great time having a pedicure in the company of AngelAmy and we cooked us a fine dinner on the grill and had a grand time.
Today I got up and went to JayVee's spin and express weights class and was joined by Trainer Girl.
After lunch with JayVee we (me and Trainer Girl) hit the pool and then cooked us up some shrimp on the barbie and settled in to enjoy our show---True Blood. Great show tonight except that we did not have enough shirtless men...if you haven't watched that show it is totally worth getting HBO just to see the men.
And so now I have teenagers making too much noise in my backyard and I'm just trying to not go crazy.
I've got to get up tomorrow and face Dimples and tell him the damage I did...
Oh, and one more thing...
On Saturday I bought a gun...
but that's a whole other story...and blog...
Inspiration Song....well what else could it be? I saw the Katy Perry concert on Friday night so it HAD to be "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)...great song, great show, she's a great little entertainer...
Bye Darlings...party like a rock star any time you can...but don't sunbathe topless unless you are sure the pool boys aren't going to show up...
Only one of them belongs to me...the rest just think they do.
One of them brought firecrackers...
yes, firecrackers.
I think that is against the law.
Not having them...just shooting them off. Which is what they are doing.
I have told them that if I hear one more go off I will banish them from my property.
Seriously...
So since I am up and making sure that none of them help themselves to my wine or Stoli vodka I thought I would blog about...nothing...but whatever...I'm blogging.
So I will tell you about my weekend. The teenagers being here is a fitting end to it...
Because it was a very good weekend...minus the dozen teenagers and the firecrackers.
So Friday was the first of a two-part celebration of my sister-wife GOTTESS' birthday. We call each other sister-wife because we share GOTT...she's married to him but I'm the "work wife" so there ya go.
So GOTTESS is celebrating the anniversary of her 25th birthday. I won't tell you what anniversary but in any case it is a very fun number and she looks at least 10 years younger than her driver's license shows. GOTTESS is HOT!
So she decides that we need a rock star weekend. So she buys tickets to the Katy Perry concert for her and 5 friends.
And she rents us the Rock Star Suite at the Hotel ZaZa.
OMG
OMG
OMG
We lived and partied like rock stars.
I picked her up to go to the hotel. We both were toting food and wine.
She had been informed by the hotel that outside food and beverages were not welcome at the hotel.
The suite has a full kitchen...
So Lucy has some 'splainin to do as to why there is a kitchen (with a Sub Zero fridge/freezer, cooktop, dishwasher and oven) but no food...
We decided to take our chances and brought in our own snackage.
So we get to the hotel and go up to the suite...OMG...
Here are a few more photos...they don't do it justice...
Suffice it to say that I don't think Elton John would complain.
It was awesome...study, living room, dining room, kitchen (use that useless set of appliances that you can't use), 2 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths.
And a view of downtown that was breathtaking.
And a whole lotta chandeliers....
We squealed like 12 year old girls who had just gotten on an elevator with Justin Bieber...
First order of business...put up the food and put on our suits so we can head to the pool.
SuSu (one of GOTTESS' besties) joined us and we headed down to the pool for some adult beverages and some sun.
(We interrupt this blog for a brief special report...for the last 2 minutes Ke$ha Barbie's car alarm has gone off and any second now I expect the police at my door...between that and firecrackers I'm sure my neighbors hate me...I'm banishing the teenagers).
So back to GOTTESS' celebration...
GOTT joins us...he is our chauffeur for the night...I think we confused every other guest at the pool because we all kept calling him our husband. Our own little version of "Big Love"...
After a few tasty mojitos (I recommend the "blue" version with blackberries and blueberries muddled with the mint) we went upstairs and ate and did the best version of a rush job "let's look hot" that we could...
Here is a photo of me...not very good...sadly does not show the fabulous sparkly shoes I wore (that really killed my feet) or my crazy blue nail polish...I haven't asked the other girls if it is ok to post their photos so you just get me...it was windy...my hair was "meh"...dress rocked tho....
So the world's handsomest and best chauffeur (GOTT) drove us to the concert and was very very very happy he wasn't going with us.
We grabbed a drink and headed to our seats to catch the opening act...
which was...
terrible
I think one of the girls described the girl (her name was Robyn...I pray she isn't your dear friend...please know I'm sure she is very nice but she was not worthy of Katy Perry) as sounding like a cat screaming...or in heat...or both...
or maybe that is just my description...
I tried to block it...suffice it to say I will not be downloading any of her songs.
Thankfully I had enough "adult beverages" in me that I survived it...but just barely.
Finally Katy hit the stage and she totally rocked. She was great.
She was very cute and entertaining and her entire stage looked like a "Candyland" gameboard.
She made about 15 costume changes during one song (Hot & Cold)...I still don't know how she did the last one---glitter cannons went off in front of her and suddenly she was in a new dress.
AS a costume person this totally intrigued me...
So the show was great and once it was over...well, when you have 6 women who have just spent 2 hours looking at a stage full of candy we only had one thing on our minds...
The CRAVE CUPCAKES that were waiting at the suite.
So GOTT shows up to whisk us back to the suite and the cupcakes did a disappearing act.
We were joined there by a few more friends and we stayed up late playing some games and having a grand time.
At 1:30 I decided that I wanted to sleep in my own bed so since I had stopped drinking and was sober and not too tired I drove home and enjoyed my Temperpedic mattress and slept well.
Saturday I ran some errands...
And then I had my little adventure with the pool boys.
If you read my Facebook Status you know what happened...but for those of you in blogland I will repeat:
So topless sunbathing is NOT a good idea. I was laying out, getting my tan nice and even and took off my top. No one was home and no one was coming home. The pool people come on Thurday (so I thought) and it is usually a woman (so I thought) so I thought I was safe.
WRONG
WRONG
WRONG
I had my headphones in and the music was a bit loud. I closed my eyes to enjoy the sun and somewhere between a Manchester Orchestra and Joss Stone song I open my eyes to discover I am not alone.
Yes, the pool boys had arrived.
And they were boys....or at least closer to Ke$ha Barbie's age than mine.
I calmly put my top back on and tried not to die of utter mortification.
I hope they enjoyed the show.
It would have been a better show had I already let Dr. Bonnie Baldwin work her magic so instead they got...well, they got what they got...
So to get over that little lesson in humiliation I decided I better do something to improve my mood so I went and had a great time having a pedicure in the company of AngelAmy and we cooked us a fine dinner on the grill and had a grand time.
Today I got up and went to JayVee's spin and express weights class and was joined by Trainer Girl.
After lunch with JayVee we (me and Trainer Girl) hit the pool and then cooked us up some shrimp on the barbie and settled in to enjoy our show---True Blood. Great show tonight except that we did not have enough shirtless men...if you haven't watched that show it is totally worth getting HBO just to see the men.
And so now I have teenagers making too much noise in my backyard and I'm just trying to not go crazy.
I've got to get up tomorrow and face Dimples and tell him the damage I did...
Oh, and one more thing...
On Saturday I bought a gun...
but that's a whole other story...and blog...
Inspiration Song....well what else could it be? I saw the Katy Perry concert on Friday night so it HAD to be "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)...great song, great show, she's a great little entertainer...
Bye Darlings...party like a rock star any time you can...but don't sunbathe topless unless you are sure the pool boys aren't going to show up...
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