I Just Wanna Run

I just wanna run...really, I do...hard to believe since I hate running.

But today I want to run.

And I can't...

because my left knee is still screwed up.

Up until now the problem has always been my right knee.

I tore the meniscus in it a few years ago running up and down the stairs to the soundbooth/crows nest at the Country Playhouse. I was stage managing a show for GOTT and my domain was in the crow's nest where I "called the show". I had a blast doing it (the show) but all the wear and tear on my knee when I weighed somewhere between 280-300 pounds (I refused to weigh myself then)was pretty much a downer.

You would think THAT would have gotten me to lose weight...but noooooooo....I just had it fixed...sadly I had to do it twice.

When you are short and weigh that much the wear and tear on your joints and body is something else. My knees bore the brunt of it.

Here are some things that happened to me and/or my body because I was so fat...and this doesn't include looking like the "Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man" (a "Ghostbusters" reference and if you don't know it, you shouldn't be reading this blog...). So here goes...it is shameful:
1) tore my meniscus twice
2) swollen feet and ankles (all the time)
3) out of breath every time I climbed stairs
4) needed to have a seat belt extender on a plane
5) didn't fit into seats at the movies
6) tore the leather trim on my car seat getting in and out
7) couldn't wear shoes except for Crocs
8) almost couldn't get into the submarine I was visiting
9) couldn't touch my toes
10) couldn't see my toes
11) could only wear stretch pants
12) couldn't wear necklaces unless they were long
13) grew out of 2 sets of wedding rings
14) almost ended up diabetic
15) high blood pressure almost needed meds
16) high cholesterol almost needed meds
17) would get out of breath blowdrying my hair
18) couldn't get dressed without breaking a sweat
19) no boots would fit over my calves
20) couldn't do a zipline tour in Hawaii because of my weight

That's enough for now...pretty sad little list...not nearly as much fun to write as the one last night. (see "100 Years" blog).

Do you know how humiliating it is to ask for a seat extender on a plane?

no? you don't?

good...

because it is a pretty crappy feeling...and I cried the first time it happened...and sadly THAT should have gotten me to get on a diet and get in shape...but instead I just asked for one every time I got on a plane.

I also know that whenever I was on a plane and NOT with my children that I am sure the poor people on my row were not happy that I was there, with all my bulk, taking up some of their little bit of space.

Plane rides were hell...there was no comfort.

I can't wait to get on a plane and NOT have to ask for a seat extender.

Riding in a car wasn't much better...and movies were always an ugly thing because I had to squeeze in the seat. I preferred theaters where the arm rests went up and down...gave me more room...except when I sit next to my husband who takes up as much or more space than me.

Now I go to the movies and there is room for my bag AND me in my seat. I take up a lot less space.

I saw on "The Doctors" tv show where some guy said that your goal should be to weigh as much as you can and take up as little space as possible.

In other words, you should be lean and muscular...a pound of fat takes up more space/room than a pound of lean muscle. So it's ok to weigh 140 pounds if you are lean muscle.

But you also shouldn't weigh 105 pounds and have no muscle...we need that muscle to support ourselves.

So that is a photo of 5 pounds of fat and 5 pounds of muscle...pretty scary...

I copied this photo from another blog...Pinay fitness...here is a link to a pretty good blog that explains it better than I can:
http://pinayfitness.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html

I also remember that incredible visual of Oprah pulling that wagon of fat that represented how much weight she lost. It was quite a way to put it.

Basically I have lost enough weight to have lost a 6th grader. I look at some of the 6th grade kids and picture myself carrying one of them on my back.

When Dimples and I discussed how to get my heart rate up if all I could do was walk, he suggested a get a weighted vest. I can't imagine putting on a 40 pound vest to walk, but on the other hand I walked around with a 100 pound "vest" on me so what is 40 pounds...especially if it gets me going since I may have to skip running.

I did a lot of damage to myself with my weight. But I can correct a lot of it...and I have...my blood pressure is good, I am in no danger of being diabetic, my cholesterol and triglycerides are great, and I take up less space.

Of course there is another dirty reality to all of this...loose skin...because it will only "go back" so much. So I am going to have a tummy tuck...and I hear they hurt...a lot...so maybe that will keep me from gaining it back.

I don't like pain...

Which leads me back to this thing with my knee...and the pain I am in.

A friend of mine, who has knee troubles (I'll call her "Dollface" because she is pretty and she shares a name with a doll...)warned me about this. You see, Dollface has had knee troubles too and she warned me that running wasn't a good idea for girls like us. She has never had weight issues but Dollface knows her knee troubles and has the surgical scars to prove it. She told me that walking was good but the running was going to get me...

and it did...

but it felt so good yesterday to run in the cold instead of walking and I was getting my heart rate up and I was all excited thinking of how proud of me Dimples was going to be and how proud I was of myself that I went over a mile and a half and was heading into 2 miles and the music was going and then...

there was this little feeling...

nothing popped

nothing twisted

nothing "went" (like my knee going out from under me)...

I just had this feeling in my knees that I needed to stop...my lungs and energy were fine but the knees were feeling "sore".

I wear a patella support band on my right knee but now I think I need one on both.

So instead of being proud of me I think I have Dimples frustrated with me...

Today I told him I was still hurting and sore...so once again he modified my training and we focused on strength and let the cardio take a backseat.

He likes me to burn 400 calories in a workout. We did 250.

But I'm ok with it...because I know I still did good for my body and my arms are good and tired and poor Dimples was freezing and I still got a sweat up so I figure anything I do is better than nothing...

But I don't want to risk permanent injury (Good grief, Dimples said that to me and I almost burst into tears) so we are taking it easy on me and the knee until it gets back to "normal" which I hope is very very soon.

And as for the running...well, maybe I need to do like Dollface says and keep it to the short little jaunts I take on the jogging track at the park with Dimples and maybe it is just not in my long-term fitness goals to run.

But now that I can't...

I want to...

Now isn't that just like me...I always want what I can't have!

So file "running" with "Crave Cupcakes"...things I can't have but I want.

Who would have EVER thought I would say I wanna run.

Not me...

Inspiration Song: "I Just Wanna Run" by The Downtown Fiction. Pretty good little song...I USED to start my run with it...sigh...

Bye Darlings...don't run away...

100 years

So this is my 100th blog...big weeks for hundreds for me...

100 pounds lost
I am now in the 100's in weight
100 blogs

So here, my beloved readers, is another hundred...

100 hundred things you may or may not know about me:

1. My children are the best thing I have ever done.
2. Being a mom is the greatest gift God has given me.
3. I am a total sap...I cry at EVERYTHING
4. I hate to watch football unless my son is playing.
5. I hate everything about wrestling...
6. I love being an Aggie but I am not a fanatic about it.
7. I love to cook.
8. I hate to clean up after cooking.
9. I like to scrapbook.
10. I make a huge mess when I scrapbook.\
11. A hot bath is always a happy drug for me.
12. When I am at a hotel, I MUST take a bath at night.
13. Crave cupcakes are kryptonite to me.
14. I don't care if I ever eat Pizza Hut again..
15. I like beer. A lot.
16. I like wine. A lot a lot.
17. I like champagne. A lot.
18. I like vodka. A lot.
19. I like tequila. It does not like me. I dance on tables.
20. I have, in fact, danced on many tables.
21. I want GOTT to teach me how to dance...someday...
22. I would love for Maks from DTWS to teach me to dance!
23. I love Hawaii...all the islands, Kauai the most...
24. I'd rather go to Hawaii than Paris.
25. I'd love to go back to South Africa.
26. I miss my mother every day.
27. I miss my father almost as much.
28. I'd rather go to spin class than shop...shocking!
29. Glee is my favorite tv show.
30. Modern Family is my second favorite tv show.
31. I'm trying to learn to like salmon more...getting there
32. Top Chef is my favorite reality show
33. Toddlers and Tiaras is my guilty pleasure
34. The Real Housewives shows on Bravo are my other guilty pleasure.
35. I don't care if I ever eat a buffalo wing again...ever...
36. I could eat blueberries every day...and I try to.
37. I still hate running.
38. I majored in Agricultural Economics in college...weird...
39. I showed cattle while in high school...weird...
40. My advisor professor told me I was "the one recognizable female in the department" (I think that was good?)
42. I had a professor tell me to "not wear Giorio perfume to class because it was sexy and distracting"...hmmmmm...
43. I am a proud member of Pi Beta Phi
44. Friday Mountain Girls Camp was one of the greatest influcences on my life...really...
45. I can't ride a horse to save my life
46. I can't play tennis to save my life
47. I can't catch a ball to save my life
48. I can't throw a ball to save my life
49. I don't care that I can't do any of those things.
50. I cry during musicals...always...
51. "What I did for love" was the first song in a musical that made me sob. (A Chorus Line)
52. "The Lion King" is my favorite musical
53. "Wicked" is a very very close second
54. Of the "classics" I like Rogers & Hammersteins "Cinderella" the best...
55. I would like to get paid for doing the costumes at the school but I will keep doing it for free (and love)
56. Hearing a child, other than your own, say "I love you" and mean it is very very very special
57. The last 15 pounds have made more difference in my looks than the previous 85...weird...
58. I can run over a mile...and I am proud of that.
59. I sweat so much at spin I need a towel under the bike (ewwwwww...I know...)
60. I don't enjoy Pilates...but I try it anyway
61. I wish I was a teacher
62. I would only teach middle school
63. I happily call GOTT my other husband. I love him.
64. GOTT's wife calls me his other wife. I love her.
65. I enjoy fishing more than I thought I would
66. but I would rather just lay out on the boat...
67. My children's birthdays are the best days of my life.
68. Holding my chilren the first time took my breath away.
69. If I had to choose just one thing to drink it would be Diet Dr. Pepper.
70. or wine...but I would get nothing done.
71. I miss popcorn...especially at the movies...
72. I think the chase scene in "Raising Arizona" is the best chase scene ever...and one of the greatest movies ever...
73. I can say the names of all the presidents in chronological order.
74. "50 Nifty United States" helped me pass a few tests
75. So did "Schoolhouse Rock".
76. I think Paul Newman is the sexiest man...EVER...
77. If I could look like someone else, it would be Olivia Wilde.
78. I am a Griffindor, but I have a lot of Hufflepuff in me (GOTTson loves that about me...and knew it...)
79. I wish I drove a VW convertable Beetle instead of a suburban...but I like my suburban
80. Writing this list is harder than I thought it would be.
81. Losing 100 pounds was easier than I thought I would be.
82. I love learning about and teaching art history.
83. I'm lazy...really, I am!
84. Once I hit a size 20 I ceased caring about it.
85. Now that I am a 14 I want desperatly to be a 12...then a 10...and then an 8...
86. I'd rather workout with Dimples than any other way of working out...he pushes me more and I have more fun.
87. I could go to spin class every single day and love it.
88. My favorite ethnic cuisine is Ethiopian. Yummy!
89. I'd rather eat Thai food than Mexican.
90. I think my daughter's photography is AMAZING...
91. My best dish: Tres Leches cake
92. My second best dish: beef tenderloin
93. What I eat most now: salmon on a bed of greens and blueberries with fat free dressing.
94. I keep photos of my cats on my phone
95. I would like to meet Oprah...a lot...
96. I have over 1900 songs on my iPod...all genres...
97. I can't exercise without music...unless I am with Dimples.
98. I wish I could sing
99. I wish I read the Bible more and knew it better.
100. I am proud of my weight loss, my increase in fitness, and this blog.

So there is a silly list of 100 things about me...I could have gone "deeper" but this is about fun...

Today was my "triple threat" day...I went for an early run, did spin a few hours later, and then worked out with Dimples. The bad thing is that I seem to have done something to my left knee (the one not operated on)so now it really hurts. I ran for almost 2 miles and was so proud of that but the thrill was short-lived when I discovered that I might have hurt it. Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow and the pain will be gone or nearly gone. It made it a realy challenge for Dimples to keep my heart rate up today...

Thank you for coming on this journey with me...please help me stay on the course!!!!!!!!!!!

Inspiration Song: "100 years" by Five for Fighting...great song...

Bye Darlings...here's to seeing 150 before summer...

Lisztomania

Coach Dimples and I have a new partnership...we gonna play "who wins that bowl game" together and defeat the empire known at GOTT the GREAT...

GOTT always always always wins these things. He lets me play because I am so dreadful at it.

So he has set up some "predict who wins the bowl games" thing...there are 35 games...and we all know that I know less than a microgram about football. I take photos of football but I don't understand it.

Remember, Dimples had to explain what a "linebacker" was to me recently...he did it patiently and without irony I might add...

So I tell GOTT I will play his little game with him and I have high hopes of doing better than I did last spring in the March Madness contest when I came in 3rd from dead last.

But this time I have a secret weapon. I have Dimples! And he knows his football, oh yes he does...he even knows the name of the mascot for the team from Florida International (I didn't even know that was a college). So he picks the teams, I put up the $10 and we are going to split our fabulous winnings after we beat GOTT and Coach Supersweet (who always wins if GOTT doesn't).

I'm going to look like a football predicting superstar. But, because I am unfailingly honest about these things, I will admit I had the help of a football coach. You see, no one in my house wanted to help me...and I think Dimples has a better handle on this than they do. I did try and watch ESPN last night when they talked about bowl game predictions but completely zoned out after 45 seconds. Maybe if they broke out into song like the do on "Glee" I would have paid more attention.

People keep asking me what "diet" I am on. The truth is, I don't have a "diet" per se, but rather I am eating clean and healthy.

But here are some tips I have picked up along the way and some things that I eat...

This is in no particular order of importance...it's just as I think of it. Think of this as a roadmap whether you want to lose 5, 10, 15, or 50 pounds or just want to eat better...and remember, I am not an expert, just a woman who is trying to lose enough weight for Oprah to notice her (she and Dr. Oz are doing a weight loss thing for her new network...I could be on that...but I really would rather sit on her couch and talk to her...but again, this is all fantasy...)

OK, so here are some things to do/eat/try...

1. Dont' try and cut everything out at once. Try cutting out one or two things each week. Like, cut out corn and fried foods one week, the next week cut out something else.

2. Buy a water bottle. Fill it. Drink it. Repeat many times throughout the day. If you don't like water, add some lemon juice or make flavored water in your fridge. To make flavored water, simply put some fruit (orange, lemon, watermelon, canteloupe, lime, strawberry etc.) or cucumber, and or a bit of mint in a pitcher and add water. The fruit needs to be sliced or cut up. A delicious mix, courtesy of the Kahala Hotel in Oahu, Hawaii is the following: mint, cucumber, strawberry, apple, orange. You can add more water as you drink it down but I would pitch it after a few days or when it loses its taste.

3. Eat more good protein. A serving of protein should be about the size of a deck of cards...or maybe if you are really hungry and working out, the size of your hand (but only if you have a SMALL hand). Good protein: fish, chicken, turkey, lean beef, lean pork. Not-so-good-for-you protein: fatty steak, hamburger meat, dark meat from poultry (but that is not as bad as sausage), sausage, pork and beef ribs.

4. You don't have to eat "breakfast" foods for breakfast...sometimes I eat some ground turkey (wrapped in lettuce leaves for some crunch), or leftover fish. But I always eat some form of protein for breakfast and if I eat carbs, it is usually steel cut oats...and protein.

5. Egg white omlettes can be good if you cook them right. You can even add an egg yolk for every 2-3 whites if you don't have cholesterol issues. Try leftover veggies, spinach, fat free cheese, picante sauce, or ground turkey in one. The fat free cheese isn't bad inside an omlette. I like smokehouse pepper on mine...makes me feel like I am having bacon. Smokehouse pepper is in one of those red and white cans and it has a smokey taste...really good.

6. Have dessert occsionally so you won't feel deprived. But ask them to bring you only half and box the other half up. or give half to a friend. or eat a few bites and then pour salt all over it...I'm serious...

7. Eat salmon. I haven't liked salmon much in the past but I have made it part of my diet and now I don't mind it. It is best not overcooked. Order it medium rare and I promise it will taste better. Salmon is so good for you---full of Omega 3 and a good source of lean protein. I'm a little obsessed with it these days.

8. Get rid of corn. Dimples made me do this. It doesn't offer you much nutritionally and, this one shocked me, they use corn products in batteries and diapers. I like the taste of corn but I have cut it out of my diet...even corn tortillas. Now when I am at the Mexican food restaurant, I ask for lettuce leaves to wrap my fajitas in...that is Asian style and it is good!

9. If you want an alcoholic drink, choose wisely. Believe it or not, champagne is a good choice. Red wine is good and has antioxidents. White wine is good. Not so good for you: margaritas, lemon drop martinis, cosmos, anything with sweet-and-sour mix or simple syrup. Too much sugar. Or try wine mixed with club soda to cut calories further and cut out some of the alcohol.

10. No good ever came from eating a french fry...unless it is from Houston's and then it is totally worth it. But it is better not to have even one or you will want more...the last time I ate fry---February...

11. Google "EAt this Not That" before you go to a restaurant...they have great suggestions.

12. Dark chocolate is my friend. It gives me a bit of sweet when I need it. The darker the better. I eat a tiny bit a couple of times a week. No, I don't eat a Hershey bar...just a little square of very dark chocolate. I eat it slowly and savor it and it really feels like a treat.

13. Eat your veggies first. Order extra veggies at a restaurant but ask them to cut the butter. Steamed or grilled veggies are best. And no, a baked potato is not a good idea unless it is a sweet potato...with no butter.

14. Don't eat "white" food...no white rice, no white bread, no white veggies (unless it is cauliflower and then you can have all you want).

15. EAt 3 small meals and 2 snacks...way better for you than 3 large meals. My daily intake is usually breakfast (egg white omlette and oatmeal, or ground turkey and egg whites, or something from Fit Foods), a mid-morning snack (fruit, yogurt, protein bar), lunch (protein and veggies as my carbs), mid-afternoon snack, and dinner (like lunch). Sometimes I add dessert. See below:

16. My form of dessert: I love cottage cheese mixed with a bit of sweetner (Splenda...yellow packets) and fruit, or fat-free Greek yogurt mixed with Splenda and fruit, or a Skinny Cow dessert, or a small square of dark chocolate, or a couple of gingersnaps, or yogurt.

17. Cottage cheese is good for you...calcium! So is Greek Yogurt...

18. No sodas with sugar. In fact, cut out or cut back any soda...

19. Roast your veggies. In fact, if you THINK you don't like a vegetable, try it roasted. My favorite veggies to roast: asparagus, brussel sprouts, butternut squash, sweet potato, cauliflower, and fingerling potatoes. For asparagus, just trim off the tough ends. For brussel sprouts, cut in half. For the squash and the rest, just cube it up. Toss the veggies with a few teaspoons of olive oil and some sea salt. Roast at 450 degrees until tender. Fantastic...it will change your mind aobut some vegetables. They take on a nutty flavor and get sweeter. Email me when you have done this so I can say "I told you so"...

20. My new favorite treat----Tasti D Lite. One location is on Post Oak near Berryhill. Another location in Highland Village. Coming soon to Dallas.

21. Try quinoa and couscous...they are good. I love couscous tossed with some cinnamon and dried cranberries and raisins.

22. Dried cranberries perk things up...salad, grains, pasta, roasted veggies...

23. If you go to a restaurant where the portions are really big, ask them to bring you a to-go box right away and put half of it away. Then don't forget it when you leave...

24. Try whole-wheat pasta. It is so good. Many Italian restaurants have it so ask.

25. If you live in Houston, go to George's Pastaria. It is worth the drive even if you don't live in far west Memorial. It is between Briar Forest and Westheimer on Dairy Ashford very close to the roller rink. Heatlthy food (and bad-for-you too). Great wine selection. Great prices. My dish: whole wheat angel hair pasta primavera with shrimp and extra spinach. Try it, you'll like it.

26. Keep a food log/diary. It will make you think about every morsel you put in your mouth.

27. I have found that I can eat (fairly) healthy just about anywhere. Most places have a chicken sandwich (ask for no mayo, be sure the chicken is grilled not fried), or have a small hamburger and only eat half the bun if you are forced to---but a lot of burger places now have salads. You can do it...you just need to look harder at the menu.

28. Order salads with dressing on the side and ask them to cut the cheese if it is on it. Dip your fork into the dressing. I promise you will get all of the taste and not so many calories. I can't stand over-dressed salads now.

29. Keep protein bars in your purse/bag/car. That way you always have a snack and keep your metabolism going and won't overindulge when you do get to eat.

30. Eat slowly. You will eat less. I promise...

31. If you have a My Fit Foods near you, try their stuff. There are other companies that do what they do----make fresh, healthy food in controlled portions that are convenient to pick up and eat. I've been eating it since April and I'm not tired of it yet...

32. Cut out all but natural sugars like those that you get from fruit. Try it for 2 weeks. You won't miss it. And if you commit to it for a couple of weeks, you will find tht you lose your taste for it.

So there you have it...basically this is how I have been eating for the last 9 1/2 months. There is no magic to it. It is just making good choices. Cutting out the bad stuff. You don't have to go "no carbs" or "juice fast"...just eat clean and healthy.

Don't try and tackle this all at once...just pick some things and I bet you will begin to see changes...if not in how you look, but HOW YOU FEEL. I feel GREAT now...I don't look great but I feel great. I have energy. I sleep better. My skin is better. I don't crave things.

My trainer writes a blog about food and excercise. It is GREAT information. I have learned a lot from him (when I am not yelling at him about making me run up the hill). Take a look:

http://trainingwithjesse.wordpress.com/

OK, now I have to go and look at football stuff...so I'm not completely stupid about it all...but then again I might just go to bed and let Dimples handle it all.

Inspiration song: "Lisztomania"---because it was the only thing close to having "list" in the title on my iPod. It is by Phoenix. It is a really good song!

Bye Darlings...let me know what works for you...