Breath of Heaven

So here is my Christmas blog...just a day late...because yesterday I was spending time with family and friends (who are practically family).

We had an easy Christmas this year...the kids wanted to pick out their own gifts and didn't want much so we "adopted" a family and shared our blessings with someone less fortunate than us. It felt good to do that and I have my friend Dy-no-mite Dawn to thank for finding us a family to gift...

Although I'm not sure the mother of those children was thanking me yesterday when her daughter opened up the "Sing-a-ma-jigs" I bought.

Most. Annoying. Toy. Ever.

Even beats out Tickle-Me Elmo.

If you are unfamiliar, and you are lucky if you are, Sing-a-ma-jigs are stuffed creatures (?)...not an animal, not a person, some sort of doll thing...and when you press their belly they open their mouths and sing. Annoyingly.

and they were singing in the bag while I had them in the car...ugh!

According to my Aunt Gayle, who has the coolest job ever because she works in Hollywood for the Jimmy Kimmel Show, Jimmy had some on his desk that he kept playing with. I missed those shows...thankfully...but I usually watch.

So, please "Mama of the Children I bought Gifts For"...forgive me for the sing-a-ma-jigs...your child asked for them!

My son wanted Xbox games (duh!) and my daughter wanted tickets to a concert and a keyboard (that thankfully has earphones that plug in so I don't have to hear her compositions...).

That's all...

I wanted a number to appear on the scale.

It didn't.

Santa must have me on the "naughty" list...must have been for causing the fight at the party.

I have complained, bitterly and via text, to Dimples about that situation. I should offer to start paying his texting bills because we have been running them up with him having to play therapist to his very discouraged client. He stays positive with me...thank goodness he does really know how to speak "Woman"...and he told me to just relax and "ride the tide" and enjoy the rest of my holiday and we will switch it up and hit it hard after the new year.

The problem is, I'm not sure how much harder I can hit it...and I told him so. I told him short of tying myself to him 24/7 (that would make it interesting when he coaches...or goes home to the girlfriend), I'm not sure what more we can do to get me off of my plateau.

I suggested to him that maybe I could give up wine.

Or only drink it on days that end in "d-a-y"...

He liked that (the joke...not that I'm not giving up wine...because he knows I won't)

But yesterday, despite the scale staying stuck, was a pretty good day. We got up leisurely (although I do miss getting woken up by excited children ready to see what Santa brought), I made breakfast (cinnamon rolls for them, Fit Food for me), and got to cooking a turkey for my extended family.

It was an amazing turkey...recipe at the bottom of the blog...you MUST try it...

I took the perfect turkey over to my Aunt Jane's house and had a great lunch with Jane, my aunts and uncle, and some family friends and my grandma. It was a great lunch. And everything was delicious. CAT (my aunt's friend who I call Cute and Tiny)made the most delicious mix of roasted veggies. She has promised me the recipe to share...sooooooo good.

My uncle baked me some cookies...I ate one because they were amazing...and he baked them...and I went for a run before lunch so I deserved one!

After lunch and family time we headed over to our friends the Q's house. We have celebrated Christmas Night at the Q's for the last 10 years or so. It is always the best way to close out Christmas. I love them like family...and we stayed so long I almost fell asleep on the couch!

so while I was wallowing about in a bit of pity about my non-weight loss while on my run yesterday, I had some time to think about Christmas Day...and Jesus' birth...and Mary...

Mary...a young woman who must have been frightened when visited by an Angel and told she was to have a child. How scary must that have been? And Joseph, her husband, who faithfully stood by her...

So here is this young woman who is heavily pregnant who leaves her home and has to travel...by DONKEY...to another place only to find that there is no place for her to stay. And to give birth.

So she ends up in a stable...a stable...

I grew up around stables...not a place you want to deliver a baby in...

I found myself uncomfortable behind the wheel of my car during my last weeks of pregnancy so I cannot fathom what riding a donkey while 39 weeks pregnant would feel like. I can't imagine riding a donkey at all...

I had my children in a nice, clean hospital. I had my kids at the old Rosewood Hospital where I was just about the only woman to give birth each time. I had the full attention of the nurses. In fact, when I went back 4 years later to have The Cutest Boy in the World (after having Ke$ha Barbie there) all the nurses remembered me and many were the same women. I had GREAT attention and care.

Mary delivered her beautiful son with only the help of Joseph...

I had a fabulous doctor each time. With Ke$ha Barbie I had Dr. Oscar Dalton---only the greatest ob/gyn in Houston. He treated me like his daughter. He was the sweetest man ever. I cried my eyes out when he retired from obstetrics before I had The Cutest Boy in the World...so he handed me over to Dr. Kathy Gabel (yes, real names because she is so so so great) and I had the BEST time with her. She was like having your best girlfriend as your doctor.

So I had great doctors and nurses and poor Mary had donkeys and sheep...

I had an epidural each time...poor Mary had nothing...

I could not have been as brave as Mary. And to know that she was bringing forth the Son of God had to be a mighty scary and wonderous feeling that I cannot wrap my brain around.

As I ran I contemplated this...and realized that God asks us to do things He knows we can do. He knew Mary was the right woman to bring forth his son.

And to a way way way lesser degree, He knows that I can do this...I can get myself back to where I need to be with my health and body. I can do it with His help, with Dimples help, with Spinderella, Jay-Vee and J'taime Julie, and with my friends encouragment.

I just need to lean on Him a little more...and take some burden off Dimples (poor baby...his fingers must be tired from texting me soothing words).

And as I ran, and prayed that I could make it back to the house, I felt the air rush into my lungs (cold air!) and I felt Him help me breathe.

Breath of Heaven...

Inspiration Song: "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant. My favorite Christmas song. Always makes me cry. We always have an 8th grade girl sing it during "Lessons and Carols" and I end up bawling...

Bye Darlings...take Dimples advice "just breathe"...

Turkey recipe...because turkey is good for you, not just at Thanksgiving...

Here is how to make the MOST delicious, fabulous, moist, healthy turkey...

Buy a fresh turkey. The store brand is perfect. I always buy an HEB brand. Be sure it has not had any liquid injected or added (like a Butterball).

I brine my turkey. I have made brines and purchased brines. I bought brine from Sur la Table that was really good but my favorite is the brine from Williams-Sonoma. It is delicious.

Follow the recipe for the brine. If you use the Williams-Sonoma one, do the apple cider...it makes it really good. Brine for 24 hours. Rinse brine off well (inside and out) and pat bird dry.

For a 10-15 pound bird (double this for bigger):
one onion (sweet if you can find it), quartered
one apple (large red) quartered
2 cinnamon sticks
1 cup water
put in microwave safe bowl and cook on high for 5 minutes.

Drain water.

Put apples, onion, and cinnamon in the cavity of the bird. Add 3-5 sprigs rosemary and 6 large fresh sage leaves.

Rub some softened butter all over the bird...or canola oil. Just enough to make it slippery. Do not salt...the brine did that for you.

cover the bird in cheesecloth. Pour chicken stock all over the cheesecloth. Melt 2 sticks of butter and poor that over the cheesecloth.

Tent with foil.

Put the bird into a 500 degree oven and cook 30 minutes and then turn the heat down to 350 degrees. Baste every 30 minutes. Add more stock if you need it.

I can't give you times because it is based on weight and your oven, but I advise checking the temperature with a thermometer and going by that...and remember that the bird will continue to cook a bit when removed from the oven.

I uncover the bird the last 20 minutes or so to brown. I baste the bird while it rests a minimum of 30 minutes and tent it.

Everyone declared it the best turkey ever yesterday. I agree. Even my precious Mommy never produced a bird quite that good...except for the wild one that my dad shot that ate chilipetins...that bird was amazing.

We Need a Little Christmas

It's Christmas Eve.

I have a confession to make:

The only Christmas decorations up in my house are the 2 poinsetta plants outside my front door.

I bought the plants as part of a school fundraiser. I paid for them in August and picked them up a few weeks ago. It is a miracle that they are still alive.

There is no tree in the living room.

My Snow Village and North Pole Village houses are still in boxes in the attic.

No wreaths on the door (although that might get fixed today).

I was getting ready to hang the stockings but I can't find my stocking hangers.

No holly, no greenery. No Nutcrakcers. No "History of Santa" figurines.

Although my "Radio City Music Hall at Christmas" snowglobe is sitting out...

So why no decor from a woman who used to spend days decorating not one but 4 themed Christmas trees (each one more over-the-top than the other) and it took a week to get the little light-up house villages set up just right?

It's not that I have a "bah humbug" attitude...I love the holidays...

I just got lazy...but I also lost interest when I lost my mother and now I am out of the habit.

My husband hates decorating for Christmas and the only thing he EVER does to help is to (sometimes) drag in the tree. My kids don't care...they really don't...Oh, they wouldn't mind seeing the tree up but they don't want to help do it.

So I don't...

2005 was the first year without my mother...we went away for the holidays and have pretty much done that ever since. So why decorate if you wont' even be here to enjoy it? We are here this year, I just never got around to it.

In 2008 we were just post-flood, mid-construction and we were living in our study. My den didn't even have a floor since the wood floor had gotten drowned in the flood.

Last year we were just post-renovation and I had no idea where any decorations were except for my Nutcrackers and the stockings.

So why I have I lost pleasure in something I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE?

I don't know...except that maybe I came to realize that a lot like the Who's down in Whoville after the Grinch came and "stole Christmas" that it comes without ribbons, it comes without tags, it comes without packages, boxes or bags...

I love admiring my friends deocorations...I love looking at their trees, all the mantle stuff, and the lights---I do love the lights!

And maybe next year I will find a new tree and decorate it (because my old one is a big mess)...but for now, it is what it is...a house without a tree or ribbons...

I miss my mom...I miss her helping me decorate...I miss her cooking our dinner...I miss her busily wrapping presents so that they look like something you shouldn't tear open. I miss her...

But, Christmas is not about all of those things. Christmas is about a baby.

A baby who was born to a young woman who had to be scared out of her mind and her very confused husband. A baby who was God's gift to us...

And so I let go of my hurt and my sadness and focus on the gift that is this holiday...and I thank God for His grace...His perfect love...His giving us His Son to be our Savior. And I thank God for loving me...

And I thank God for the family that I do have. And I thank God for my friends who are also my family now (as I said to GOTT and GOTTESS and GOTT-SON when we had our little Christmas together yesterday).

And I forgive myself for not putting up a tree...and I go to my friends' houses and enjoy theirs...and I thank God for my friends...because they (you) are a gift to me. And you don't find that kind of love and friendship under a tree...you find it beside the tree as you express your love for each other...

Inspiration Song: "We Need a Little Christmas"---Glee Cast. Excellent version of the song. Iv'e never been a big fan of the musical "Mame" (although I totally love love love the movie "Auntie Mame"), but I do love this song.

Bye Darlings...enjoy your gifts (and I don't mean the ones in packages!)

When Love Takes Over

Today I did something I haven't done in over 5 years...in fact, it has been 5 years and 8 months since I did it.

I stepped inside Geo. H. Lewis and Sons Funeral Home.

A place I haven't been since my own precious mother died. A place I do not like to go. A place that holds only pain and sadness for me.

But a friend's mother passed away and the visitation was at the funeral home and today I had to go.

Love took over...

Because I didn't want to go in there.

I can handle funeral services (now...but it took a while) in a church. But not THAT funeral home.

Just before stepping inside I had a little tiny panic attack. I had to stop and take a breath and let myself gather up again. I let my love for my friend and his family take me inside.

I didn't look in the chapel. I did not want to go in the place where my mother's body had once been in a casket.

So I just avoided looking in.

I visited with the family. I visited with friends.

I took a lot of deep breaths.

I only had one bad moment inside...it passed.

Love took over.

Tomorrow the funeral is at the same church where we had my mother's funeral. It is not an easy church for me to go to. But I will go.

I seem to be going to a lot of funerals these days. This time it is easier than my friend Patrick's passing since this was an older woman...a woman who had loved a lovely full life. It is still sad that she is gone, but, as we all know and hope to some day be---she is in HEAVEN! She is at peace...she is free of pain...she is with her husband and family members who where there to greet her.

But I don't want to dwell on sad things...this is a season of giving and thankfullness and being with those we love.

Love takes over...our love for each other, for our families, for our friends, for God, for Jesus...

Somehow love has NOT taken over the overwhelming urge in me NOT to shop and NOT to decorate.

I just can't get into it.

I love Christmas and I used to love decorating but ever since my mother passed away some of the joy is lost. That, and having a lot of my stuff ruined in a flood.

But I am bound and determined that no matter how big a pain in the neck it is, I will get a tree up this year and I will put out some of my decorations.

Love needs to take over...because my kids miss it...

As for the shopping, my son just wants gift cards to buy more video games and my daughter wants music stuff and asked if she can just pick it out online and send me a link.

I miss the days of Toys R Us and trying to get the last Beanie Baby...

So this year we adopted a family (I'm letting love for someone I don't even know to take over my credit card) and I got to buy an Easy Bake Oven.

Remember those?

They still make them...

Wasn't that the BEST cake ever? Even if it was smaller than a saucer, hard as a rock and it gets cooked with a light bulb.

One friend told me that she bought a "Baby Alive" for the girl on her adopted family list. It brought back some memories.

I had a Baby Alive. So did my sisters. They are horrible things these Baby Alive dolls. They "eat" and then they pee...

Gross...

You have to feed them special food. Food that disolves and easily rinses out with the water you feed the doll to make it pee.

My sister, N, fed her Baby Alive real baby food.

Not a good idea....

It got ants...and maggots...

Baby Alive died in the trash can...all of them.

My father told my mother never to buy such a stupid doll again.

So the next year she didn't buy us baby dolls at all and my father, after a good bit of "cheer" (of the alcoholic variety) at his aunt's house, was upset to see that she had not gotten us the baby dolls we so desired. (She had, however, purchased us Madame Alexander dolls...which I still have).

So my father called the owner of the only store in town that carried dolls and got him to open up at midnight and he bought us some dolls.

My Daddy loved having daughters...and he loved giving us dolls.

But in that instance I think "Scotch" or "Bourbon" took over and not love...in any case I got several dolls that Christmas.

My dad was acutally quite a world class shopper. He is the one who took me shopping for all of my "rush" clothes before heading to college. We went to Sakowitz and they set up a screen in one of the big dressing rooms. I played dress up all afternoon and my dad was delighted as I would come out from behind the screen and twirl around for him.

Years later, when I was married, I was shopping at Sakowitz and the saleslady told me my father was downstairs in the mens department. We were meeting there for lunch. I had picked out 4 dresses but knew I could only buy one...maybe two. So I went downstairs in my favorite (and the most expensive) dress and twirled around for him. He clapped with delight...

And then he informed me that another man was paying my bills these days and to get back upstairs and get ready to go to lunch.

I stuck out my lower lip and pouted all the way up the escalator.

I returned to the dressing room to see it cleaned out of my other choices and handed the saleslady the red dress I was wearing. She took it and didn't say a word.

I stepped out of the dressing room (after pouting a bit more) and she handed me a garment bag----with all 4 dreses inside.

I told her I could not buy them.

She told me that my Daddy had called (boy was he quick to the phone) and told her to charge them to him.

I turned around to find him standing in the sales area laughing. And then I tackled him and covered him with "daughter loves her Daddy" kisses...

He delighted in surprising us that way.

One year for Christmas he presented me with a very large box. It was a week before Christmas. He told me to open it.

Inside was the frothiest, laciest, pink confection of a gown. The lace was delicate and the pink silk taffeta was as gossamer as a butterfly's wings and the color of baby's lips. It gave you a cavity just to look at it, it was so sweet...

I showed the appropriate amount of delight...because I was barely 17 and I loved dresses that made me look like a cupcake.

He cried.

After he stepped out of the room my stepmother told me the REAL story of the dress.

Apparently he had been wandering about Frost Brothers and as he rode up the escalator he was greeted by a mannequin in the confection dress. He knew I had to have the dress and he wanted to surprise me with it.

So he took the mannequin off the stand and carried it through the store until he found the saleslady helping my stepmother. He began to strip the mannequin of the gown before the horrified saleslady's eyes.

She informed him: "Mr. Shelton...we do not undress mannequins on the sales floor at Frost Brothers!".

He told her to get the damn dress off the mannequin and put it in a box.

She informed him: "Mr. Shelton, we do not put gowns into boxes! They are hung and placed in garment bags!".

He told her to put it in a box...a big box...and he wanted the box wrapped...and I quote here "like they do on tv...so that she unties the ribbon and pulls the wrapped top off the box and can see it inside the box"...

And that is just what he got...a box that had the top and bottom wrapped seperately, with the gown inside, with a huge bow on the outside that I could untie.

He made me do it over and over again...open the box and squeal.

Like I said, he loved giving surprises...and he had a flair for the dramatic.

My dad loved women...good thing since he had 7 daughters.

I'll save the story of me, my daddy and my wedding gown for another day...or I may have already blogged about it...I forget because I have so many daddy and dresses stories.

How lucky was I to have a daddy who loved playing Barbie except that in his case "Barbie" was his daughters?

His love for us took over any embarrasment he might have felt as a cowboy (always in his boots) standing in a fancy department store looking through racks of ribbons, lace, satin, and silk for the perfect dress to give to one of us...

Today made me miss my parents...but even though they aren't with me I can still feel their love...

when I wear my mother's charm bracelet

when I look at their photos

and when I look at the red dress that my Daddy bought me (along with the other 3) oh so long ago at Sakowitz....I still have them....

and so many other times of the day, week, year..

Let your love take over...do something that is out of your comfort zone for someone else...

Inspiration Song: "When Love Takes Over" by David Guetta (and Kelly Rowland)...I love me some D Guetta....

Bye Darlings...