I Feel Fine

So...I feel fine...

Actually I feel pretty damn good but I can't find a song called "pretty damn good" so this will do...

I feel SOOOOO good in fact...that today I haven't even taken a Tylenol or Advil...

nope...

not one...

Didn't need it yesterday either but then I had a headache in the middle of the afternoon so I popped a Tylenol.  It wasn't the boobs or the tummy...literally just a headache and I think it was a combo of the weather and that I really haven't had much caffeine...

Last night KuteKaren took me out to dinner.

Before dinner I popped an Advil to make sure I didn't end up in pain in the middle of our entrees...so it was a prophylactic dose nothing more...and really I think the dirty martini I had would have done the trick anyway...

And yes, I had doctor's permission...

although I think I was playing fast and loose with it.

She called to check on me Friday afternoon and I asked her if it was ok that I went out to dinner and she said "no problem...you can even have a glass of wine".

So I did...

She didn't say "martini" (Dirty Tito's...Tito's is the bomb!  And I have always been a STOLI girl...)but I figured since I wasn't driving or taking Vicodin I could risk it.

So KuteKaren and I went to Segari's for dinner...I love it because it is so old school yet the food is great...you know the kind of place where you can still get a great steak and shrimp cocktail.

So that's what I had...actually I had a crab claw and shrimp cocktail with my martini and a very rare filet with a side of sauteed veggies with my cabernet...

And a slice of coconut meringue pie...

Yeah, I went all out...but between the good food and the good company my cabin fever was cured and I felt great through dinner and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The only thing that was difficult at all was figuring out what to wear...

Because you see I have these terrible sexy and flattering compression garments to wear 24/7...so basically a spanx that goes from just under my bra down to my knees and a bra that makes a nursing bra look like something sexy from Victoria's Secret.

The bottom part was easy...yoga pants from Lucy...

The top was harder...it took 3 tries until I found one that wasn't too low cut or cut to wide at the neck to show the bra...it's like a super sports bra that comes up high and has straps that are very wide.  Hard to hide.

I began to worry that maybe it was not so much the bra as my wardrobe...I mean it's not like EVERYTHING in my closet is low cut or wide in the neck but last night it seemed so.

so this may prove to be my biggest challenge of all...how to wear normal clothes...while rocking these extremely hot (and not in the good way) and very unsexy undergarments...

Dr. Baldwin said that after next week I could start wearing a soft bra or camisole with a shelf bra...no underwires for a while and a sports bra could be hard to get off and on.  I still have to wear the surgical bra to bed for support but that's easy because I don't care what I am wearing to bed right now...

I told her I couldn't wait to try on some of my old clothes when my swelling goes away...she sweetly said I was going to enjoy that and I will.  I joked with her that I just might wear a cocktail dress to her office at my 6 week visit.

She told me to do it.

I think I will...

After all it will still be coat season...I can hide it under a coat...and for me it is a celebration..

Every visit to her is a celebration...she is my fairy godmother after all and who doesn't love their fairy godmother?

Today I have had it easy...and I have taken it easy...I've mostly just stayed in bed finishing up my marathon of Downton Abbey.  I can't wait until tomorrow to watch the new season...

And if you want to borrow my DVD's I am making a list of those who want to borrow it so just let me know...it's excellent...

So I have stayed in bed most of the day except when J'taime Jamie (I know I keep spelling that wrong!) came to see me and we had a great visit...but it makes me miss her spin class and barbell class all the more....

The wardrobe was easy too...JayVee gave me some awesome flannel pajama bottoms (in pink and black plaid with shiny silver...soooooo me!!!!) to wear for Christmas so I have schlepped around in those all day with a Lucy t-shirt...and the fuzzy socks she gave me that match...

I still can't stand up straight but I don't care...and I still have to wrestle the compression garment back on all the time but I don't care...and I still can't pick up my cat but I don't care...

I feel so fine that it just doesn't matter.

And maybe tomorrow when D'nice comes over I will have her take a few photos to share with you...

But all of this got me to thinking about why I didn't do it sooner...

And there are several reasons:
didn't want to wear hot compression garments in the summer
didn't want to not be able to swim and sun outside because of the garments and scarring
didn't want to ruin my kids summer vacation


more importantly:
by Dr. Baldwin's advice I wanted to be in the BEST shape possible
and
I wanted to be at or as close to my goal weight as I could and STAY THERE for several months

But the biggest reason I put it off:

FEAR

I was afraid of it...the pain, the cutting, the downtime, the worry I was being selfish, the money, the fact I have to be away from the gym for 6 weeks...

lots and lots of FEAR

And it held me back

But I have learned something from this experience...

FEAR CAN KEEP YOU FROM MOVING FORWARD

Now I'm not saying fear is a bad thing....fear of gaining weight is why I am eating super clean and healthy...

and some fears are good....like when you look into a murky lake and think "maybe I shouldn't dive in there" or when you have had a few too many glasses of wine and you think "maybe I shouldn't drive"

yes, those are GOOD fears...

But fear of the unknown (when you can do some research about it) and fear of something hurting or being uncomfortable can hold you back.

I can tell you that it is a hell of a lot more uncomfortable to ask for a seat belt extender and fly squashed in a coach seat than this has been...because I used to have to do that...

I let my fear of the pain keep me from doing this...

and now as I sit here pretty much pain free and having taken no drugs today (except for the pleasure drug that is Downton Abbey) I feel fine...

So don't let fear keep you from doing something you want to do...

Now lest you worry that your friend here has become totally fearless and will show up at the club pool in a bikini I can assure you that that will only happen if I lose a really bad bet...but I am going to use this experience to explore and try more things in my life...

who knows...I might even ask for you to suggest challenges for me when I am all healed up...

(and no, wearing a bikini to the club pool is off the table)

but I guess what I am saying here is don't let fear stop you...I almost did and I wouldn't end up in this happy feeling fine...hell feeling GREAT place I am right now.

And if you are afraid...email or message me...I will hold your hand...I'm pretty good at that actually...and by this I don't necessarily mean plastic surgery...I mean fear doing anything...losing weight, trying a class at the gym, exploring an exercise, trying a new recipe...you get the picture...

And if you want to feel REALLY good...email or message me and I will give you Dr. Baldwin's info...because I am pretty sure that she is a real fairy godmother...and I will share her...

So I'm good...thanks for all the prayers and well wishes...I can't run a marathon or do a spin class but I can walk across the house pretty good and shower easily and get out of bed with no assistance (and have been for quite some time).

My mother is smiling from heaven.  She had a tummy tuck and had her boobs done...a few times I think.

One of her dearest friends, CuteCarolyn, told me that my mom was so crazy that after her tummy tuck she got on the roller coaster at the Kleberg County Fair and rode it with us!  Now that roller coaster may not be "Space Mountain" or "The Rockin Roller Coaster" or "The Texas Cyclone" but in any case it was a wild ride.

And my Mommy...and her compression garments...did it...

Now that is some inspiration...

but I will tell you I WOULD fear doing it...but you know...given the chance...I just might...

Inspiration Song: "I Feel Fine" by the Beatles...you know it but you might not remember it unless you hear it...they were the most awesome band ever...my blog...my opinion...

Bye Darlings...I feel fine...really I do...so learn from me and don't let fear hold you back...you might have something awesome in your future if you just let go and DO IT!