Roar

Hellloooo Darlings...

So yesterday I watched what might very well be one of the most depressing television shows I have ever seen...

and no I am not referring to "Bachelor in Paradise"...that's not depressing...it's just flat out wrong...

No it was the Katie Couric show...and she was talking about...

oh...I don't even want to say it...much less type it...

it was about...

menopause

yes...

the M word

It was full of useful information that was good to know but the depressing part was...

it was good to know...

as in I realize now that I am getting ever closer to the dreaded M word and it has already started rearing its ugly little head and that I might actually find that info useful and needed

You know I am an open book here...at least about myself...so I am not afraid to admit that come November I will turn a very scary number...

a new decade...

one with a "5" in front of it

I don't like it but I am not afraid of it

Which got me to thinking "hey woman!  Why don't you like it?  Don't you know that 50 is the new 40?"

To me age IS just a number...so 50 is just 50

but what I don't like about it is FEELING 50...feeling older and all the crap that comes along with it.

Today when I arrived to take JayVee's excellent spin class I ran into a friend...my sweet friend MarvelousMonica.  I thanked her for advising me to go see my doctor about my knees and to get the cortisone shots.  (Which have helped greatly).

We both vented about how much we hated all the aches and pains that come along with getting older.

My son played football for hours yesterday and today...he gets a little bumped around and sore but there is an explanation for it---HE PLAYED FOOTBALL FOR HOURS

but for me every day seems to bring a new pain or ache somewhere...

and damn I used to be able to do the splits every which way and now I can barely get my leg up on the bike seat to stretch after spin...

and then there is the total fun of having night sweats...which wake me up in the night...just an hour or so after finally falling asleep (yes the insomnia is fun too).  And because I have a temperpedic matress it's like a volcanic hot spot in the bed

thank goodness I only share my bed with 3 cats and not a man...I can move around on the bed and find the cool spot...although sometimes moving a 22 lb cat is harder than getting a man to roll over...

is any of this terrifying you younger women yet? 

sounds fuuuuuuunnnnn doesn't it...

Your hair thins and loses it's luster

you gain weight so much easier

your skin is duller...without that youthful glow

your flesh is softer and jigglier...

caffeine is an evil thing and keeps you up at night when in the past you could down a few espressos with no consequences

you get wrinkles and not just in your forehead...your neck and hands become wrinkled too

you find yourself complaining about all of your ailments...

don't believe me?  I just listed them and that my friends is a complaint...

BUT....

I have decided to fight the effects and enjoy the benefits of my age...but right now I can't really think of any benefits so I'm settling for fighting back with all I can.

I Botox...I will admit it...I have had poison injected into my forehead to keep me from looking like I am permanently pissed off...

I use shampoos that thicken my hair and make it shiny...I wear it long because I think it is more attractive on me than shorter hair

I use mineral makeup to brighten my skin and keep it looking fresh and not cakey and powdery like an old lady

I don't drink caffeine after 5 pm

I take a lot of Advil... a lot of Advil

I exercise to keep my heart strong...to get the blood flowing to improve my skin...to improve my flexibility...to stay at a healthy weight...

But mostly I exercise to kick some ass...because I take great satisfaction that this old broad can get on a bike and ride next to a twentysomething girl and keep up...

As for the night sweats...that one is harder to solve but I think I may invest in a cooling mattress pad...and I wear cotton to bed...

Getting old isn't fun but it's something I can't avoid....

My mother hated getting older...she fought it every step of the way...she Botoxed, she peeled, she had enough plastic surgery to make Joan Rivers jealous...she exercised...she drank gallons of water and ate healthy...

she never looked her age...she looked younger at 40 than she did at 25...but it was never enough because she was convinced her age was why she was alone

and in a sense she was right because men who are my age don't want a woman my age...most of them want a woman in her 30's or at least they think they do...and sometimes a 50 something man and a 30 something woman have a fantastic relationship...but other times...

well as I always say:

If you are going to swim in the kiddie pool you can't avoid drinking a little pee

yeah...there are some pitfalls to dating the younger ones but men get away with it and if I walked into a restaurant with a 35 year old man I would hear the murmurs of "cougar" being thrown my way...

My mom believed if she looked younger she would attract a man but really it wasn't that she looked 40 that attracted them it was because she was beautiful...and in her constant desire to fight her age she almost wrecked her looks...

I learned from that

I don't want to look like Joan Rivers or Mary Tyler Moore or Victoria Principal...

I don't want trout lips or a plastic face...

I want to look like a healthy version of me that is happy and exudes well-being

but more than that I want to be known for my inner beauty because the outside is just the window dressing...it's what's inside the store that counts...and I am stocked with luxury goods and beautiful objects...that are all free to those who love me...

So I will do what I can to stay healthy and yes, not look like an old woman but I want the inside of me to be happy and healthy and ready to fight

So when you see me in spin class...and I am pumping away and sweat is pouring off me and I'm chasing down that beat...and you hear me yell and scream...

well that my friends is not yelling..

it's my ROAR

because just like my girl Katy says:

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar!

Read more: Katy Perry - Roar Lyrics | MetroLyrics
yeah...just you wait...I plan to roar a lot...and not just in spin class...I'm not going to let 50 tell me who I am...

I TELL ME WHO I AM

Inspiration Song: "Roar" by my pop diva Katy Perry...actually when I read all the lyrics to this song I often cry...you may hate Katy but the words are strong and as beautiful as she is...and when I hear this song I am reminded that the only thing that can truly hold me back is....me!

Bye Darlings...let me hear you Roar...tell me what empowers you and how you fight what is holding you back from being your best self...it can't be age because age is just a number...